Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / Ep 33. How to get over the fear of solo travel (with special guest Jodi Greve)

Transcript

Ep 33. How to get over the fear of solo travel (with special guest Jodi Greve) · Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design

• 0:00
  Hey. Hey, everyone. How are we? So glad to be back. I've got Jodi Greevey on the podcast today, and she is the owner of performance Mindset, and we're going to talk all things travel and how. I think we're in agreement, Jodi, that it has been probably one of our best teachers and insights. Right. Like, to really give us that awareness that. That maybe we haven't been able to receive elsewhere. So I'm glad you're here. Thanks for joining.
• 0:31
  Thank you so much for having me. And, yes, I completely agree. Travel definitely tells us a lot. Not only about the world, but a lot about ourselves and how our mind works in different ways. Yeah. So when we first talked, you were telling me about the different places that you have hiked.
• 0:52
  And so I want you to kind of elaborate and share that with the listeners. And also, you had mentioned, like, you were postponing, which I think a lot of people do and can relate to, of postponing your desire to travel. And so what was, like, the flip that switched? Or was it an evolution that allowed you to be like, okay, no more. I'm going to start traveling the way I want to. So the three big hikes that I have done, and I also want to preface this by saying I am not some huge mountaineer hiker, doing it everyday type of girl. I love to do it.
• 1:28
  And I currently live in northwest Arkansas, where there are a lot of trails in the Ozark mountains that know everything within an hour and a half of me. However, I have done. Last year, just about this time, I was doing the base towers in Torres Delpine in the Patagonia region in Chile. I most recently did Machu Picchu in this past October, a couple of months ago. And the biggest one, which happens to also be the first one that I did in 2019, was Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. And I think that all three of those, a lot of people ask me which one is harder, and I have to tell them they're each a different kind of hard. I really believe that Kilimanjaro, I would probably put as the hardest because it's the longest. It is also the highest in elevation, and there's a lot more. The terrain is completely different every single day, at least on the route that I took. And I took the Lavosho route, and Manchu Picchu was much shorter in days.
• 2:41
  Elevation was nowhere near Kilimanjaro.
• 2:43
  However, there are tons and tons and tons and tons of steps and the incline that we had to go on, I felt like I was on a stairmaster for 8 hours. And I'm not even exaggerating. That's how many stairs there were. That's how long we were going. And that was the incline. And then told us to the base towers. They said it was 14 miles. My gps said differently, but hey, but it was an out and back type of thing.
• 3:18
  But we were also on the edge of the mountain, basically on the side of a cliff. Like, you go too far off and you're not going to be okay. And we also had to deal with winds of up to 60 miles an hour alongside those cliffs. And the first thing they told us is, if you feel a gust of wind, squat down or sit down. You don't want to stand because there's no telling what could happen. So different types of hard, right? And for me, travel is something I always love to do. And for 14 years, I was a collegiate basketball coach, and I got to travel a lot with that. When I got out of coaching, I decided I wanted to be able to. I needed to find something that would allow me to explore the world. I still needed to earn an income. And so I kind of got into a few different things, which ultimately led me to traveling a lot more. Ended up going to Kilimanjaro. And that experience right there is what set me up for where I am now. And that is doing performance mindset, coaching with high performers.
• 4:30
  And I think that the travel really allowed me to see where my own mindset was. And Kilimanjaro really taught me a lot about myself. And I did not go into that experience expecting some big, aha.
• 4:49
  Midlife type of stereotypical experience.
• 4:53
  However, I knew if I was going to hike a mountain for a week that I was going to learn a thing or ten about myself. And the biggest thing was my mindset and the way that I looked at things as far as what is really considered winning. And I had a very short period of time on Kilimanjaro to where I had to change my mindset or I was not going to make it up the mountain.
• 5:20
  So I want to dive into this because I love diving into the psychology, right? I don't want to categorize it as a type of person, but there is, for sure, let's just go with that, right? Like a type of person that likes that. I've always said I love to see how far. And when I say push my body, I don't mean in a harsh, beat myself up kind of way, but what is our body capable of doing, right? And I feel like that I call it adventure travel. Or what would you describe? Kind of what you. That's a really good way of describing it.
• 6:00
  Adventure travel. That adventure travel not only takes you outside the comfort zone from a, you're doing something you've never done before, but it also, you get to see your body, like, what you're capable of. So tell us a little bit about the thought process of doing Kilimajaro as the first hike and then kind of the heart to heart that you had to have with yourself when you're on the mountain. So when I decided to do killy, a big reason I did it was all of my life. Well, I should say basically since college, I have been fortunate enough to have been surrounded by very high level, elite athletes. I was an athletic trainer when I was in college, and my best friend happens to be a former heptathlete. And for those that don't know, the heptathlon is where you do seven events over the course of two days, and you've got to be very strong in multiple ways to be able to do that and to do it successfully. And she did it as a collegiate, she did it as a professional.
• 7:09
  She was a USA champion in that. And because of her world, I was also surrounded by other track athletes. And these men and women were not only elite, but they had the medals to prove it. They had the Olympic medals to prove it. They made the Olympics, even others that just.
• 7:29
  That made the Olympics. That's the best in the country to go compete against the best in the world. Right? And then I was also around high level athletes in other sports where some of my friends were future NBA all stars, future NFL Pro Bowlers. And so I never had that amount of talent to even be able to start doing training for something like that. Right? And my body is just not over the course of time, I've had five knee surgeries, a back surgery and a shoulder surgery. When I did Kilimanjaro, I had four of those knee surgeries. I just had the other one in 2020. So I wanted to be able to do something physically demanding and something that I could be proud of and something that my friends hadn't done. And so I kind of wanted something to show off a little bit, if you will. And it comes from that competitive nature that I have, and I've always worked out and not necessarily trained for something like this, but I consistently work out enough. So when I decided four months before going on this hike that I didn't start off from a zero level of anything, and I do not recommend that. I highly recommend training adequately for this, but I think that my mindset that I had about winning prior to going is what helped me get there. And the competitiveness that I had and still have is what got me there. But when I was on the mountain, I was coming in dead last out of our group every single day. And that was so defeating, because in my eyes, the way I looked at it, we're taught the only way that you win is if you come in first place. We're taught that. Right.
• 9:33
  We're raised as, at least in the western society, we're raised that if you're not winning, you're losing. Right. We do not praise the journey and the transformation in between at all. And so I think for a lot of, like, you're saying high performers, I call them high achievers, right. Is it a wrecking point? Right. That is a reckoning point that we have to have with ourselves. That's like, we have to come to realize that winning is just a very small part or whatever we get, right?
• 10:03
  Whatever we're working towards achieving, whether we win or we lose. And I don't even agree with that anymore. Right. Like air quotes, win or lose. But that is who we are becoming along the way is so much more. Of a. What is the word I want to use? Important. Right. To us and the journey. Than did you win or did you lose?
• 10:28
  Correct. And I think that there are still aspects where there is winning and there is losing. Those are competitions. Those are games. It's not an everyday life type of thing. Yes. It was on the third day of Kilimanjaro when one of my guides asked me if I was okay. And I tried to play it, know? I was like, yeah, I'm good. And he was no, like, really, what's wrong? And I was like, I'm coming in dead. Like, this is really defeating. Like, I'm losing. He was like, jody, there's no prize for finishing first. He said, somebody's already done that. He said, you're winning because you're finishing every day. And it sounded way cooler in his tanzanian accent, but he was so right, and I understood it at the moment, but it still didn't quite sink in. But the summit night, I thought about it again, and it was like, along with a whole lot of other things, but I said, I'm not doing this for somebody else. If I get there, that means I win. I'm good, because he's right. Every single day, I was able to keep going, even though I had the thought of well, what if I just go back? Well, I'm halfway there already, so what's the difference between going back and I'm not physically ill.
• 11:50
  There was nothing actually wrong with me except for up here in my head. And so I just think that it's really important and something that you mentioned as far as, like, in the western world, us having the win lose thing. And I am so glad that now more and more people are talking about how you can win. To me, there's a difference between winning and coming in first, because you can win in a lot of spaces, because you cannot tell me that somebody that is the head of a small company of 100 or 200 employees isn't still winning compared to a Steve Jobs or any of those other guys, right? And it's so important to realize that it's okay. You don't have to be the top of the top of the top. That doesn't mean that you're not winning.
• 12:48
  There are so many other ways to win and be successful without necessarily having to, quote, unquote, come in first place. And I think that that goes back to, our brains want to compare, right? Like, when I stopped comparing myself and it still happens, right? So I'm not saying I do this perfectly, but when I really compared myself to how I have been in the past, right? How was I yesterday? How was I last week? How was I five years ago to where I am? Like, that's who we're comparing ourselves to. Our brains want to look outside of ourselves, right? And they want to see, like, oh, well, jody's done this, this, and this, and our brains will compare everything. It's money, maybe. But then it's like, well, this person's traveled to more countries than I have.
• 13:30
  Our brains will literally come up with all of the reasons how we are inadequate, right? And so that muscle of, like, you, like you said, you understood it. But maybe I think what I'm hearing you say is you hadn't really embodied it yet of, like, listen, me choosing myself every single day on this mountain and not go, because it's just as easy to go back home as it is to keep going, right? It is literally a choice and a talking. You know what I mean? What do we want to spend our time with? Do we want to spend our time with the doubts, or do we want to spend our time with giving ourselves that confirmation and attigirls that we're continuing to do it? And so I think that winning, to me, is like, how have I progressed and evolved versus, like, you're saying, number right. And it's crazy because on montu Picchu, on the hike that we did, it was a four day hike. And if you felt like you couldn't keep going, the only option you had was to turn around from where you were. That was not easy either, because of the path that we were taking. And so it was like, okay, which hard am I going to choose? Am I going to choose the hard where I have to keep going forward and I get to see this 700, 800 year old city, basically, or am I just going to go back and go on the same trail that I've already seen? I'm not going to get to see something new versus I'm going to see a whole new world, have a whole new experience, be in the middle of the Andes mountains. And I had to tell myself that several times when I was struggling, because I did struggle. I kept telling myself, you are in the middle of the Andes mountains, and just would look around at this. And the Andes mountains are so different than the mountains that we have in the United States. And whatever the study of rocks is, geology, whatever geological type of mountain it is, they look like cones to me, basically, instead of the Rocky mountains that we have. But to be in the midst of all of those cone shaped mountains, that made the hard a little bit easier mentally, physically, it was still hard as hell, but mentally, and I ask people this a lot whenever they ask me about how hard things were. And I ask them if they've ever heard the quote, mental is to physical as four is to one.
• 16:16
  And I heard that a lot when I was coaching, and a lot of my friends who were even in athletics have never heard that quote. And I absolutely love it, because whenever you are able to overcome something mentally, physically, things get a lot easier. It doesn't make them easy, but it just makes them a whole lot easier.
• 16:38
  And for me, with the issues that I have physically with mainly my back and my neck, I have to make sure that I am mentally strong and mentally ready to prepare for whatever it is that I'm doing.
• 16:55
  Because I actually found out two weeks prior to going to Montu Picchu that four out of my five lumbar vertebra are really just, for lack of a better term, messed up. And I had to be really careful for what I was doing, but I couldn't let that necessarily stop me from enjoying that. I wanted to make sure that I just took all of the precautions necessary for me to be able to get through that. But it all came from me being mentally prepared for what might happen physically. Because let's be honest, there's nothing I can do about the back. It is what it is, and I just got to prepare myself to be able to accomplish that goal. Yeah, you said two things that I want to go back to that I think are really important that I've had to learn and that I help others learn and the listeners is like, which hard am I going to choose? Because I think we like to fantasize in our head, like, oh, if we don't do, it's still going to be hard either way. Right? But at least one way that we choose. Like, in this instance, you're going to get to be able to have climbed the mountain to get to see the view. In business, it's the same thing, right? Or if you're working in corporate, when you are choosing what is your heart, it's like if you're going to be uncomfortable, you might as well get what you want in the end versus having the, we're going to feel uncomfortable either way and really sinking into that. And I was just telling this to someone yesterday because she was saying the same thing. And I'm like, you're going to feel hard if you stay where you're at or you leave, right.
• 18:40
  It's going to feel hard. But when you leave and you go after what you're wanting, then you actually get to have that in the end. And I think that we maybe in our culture have been taught that there's an easy, there's no easy. Right.
• 18:55
  It all kind of sometimes just sucks, right. And at the end, what do we get to have? And you said something about, like, I get to see these Andes mountains. Like, we forget, I think, how easily we fall out of gratitude for that experience. You know what I mean? For where we. So because our brains, I think it's this book called Hardwired for Happiness. Have you read that? By Rick Hansen? And he basically talks, like, our brains, like, we need five positives for every one negative because our negative is like Velcro and our positives are like teflon to our brain. And so how quickly we forget and fall out of gratitude for where we are, how far we've come and sitting with that, of being grateful that you are even able to climb a mountain. You know what I mean?
• 19:53
  Exactly. And I think that something that you said also is very important is we get caught up in only the outcome and we forget about everything that went on. And one of the things that I point out from that trip is learning to enjoy the journey and not the destination. And it's so crazy, because before I took that trip, I had never heard anybody say anything like that, ever. And I actually put that in my book at the end as one of the lessons that I learned. And then all of a sudden, I start seeing it everywhere. It's one of those things like, you say you want a red car, and then all of a sudden you just see all the red cars, right? But I had listened to a lot of things and read a lot of things. Like, I'm a huge quotes person, and I'd never heard that quote before. And I was just telling people, it's like, had I not really appreciated everything that was, like, the end of every single day, really looking back on what I had just accomplished and not thinking about coming in last or whatnot, it would not have made reaching Ohuru peak that much better. And I think it's really important. I can't remember who the guy is that says it, but he always talks about embracing the suck.
• 21:25
  There's going to be a whole lot of moments that suck, and you have to embrace those and enjoy them as much as you can because I promise you, once you reach that destination, that journey just made it all worth it. Yeah. And when we only focus on the outcome, when we only focus on that very end part, we miss out on, like, 95% of the goodness. That number is just pulled out of it. But the large majority of your, if you think about your training for it, right, like the travel to get there, being with the people, there's so much like, I always say this, with surfing, it's like surfing, the physical act of being on the board is literally like a 22nd thing, right? But everything else of being out there and surfing, right, with the Ocean, in the water, with the animal, you know what I mean? We want to focus on that end goal, but that end goal, if you focus on that, you're almost robbing yourself of all of the joy along the way. And that's what we're going for, right? Like, we're climbing mountains, we're building businesses. We're doing all of the things ultimately for the feeling is what we want to have. So why don't we just feel the feeling along the way versus withholding and restricting it from ourselves until that very end part? So do you want to talk a little bit about.
• 22:50
  Because you and I kind of have, I don't know, differences or not differences. Tell me about your experience with traveling solo, because I think you shared with me how you feel about traveling solo, and then I can share. Do you have children or no, no children. I do not. Traveling solo becomes a meditative experience when you have children. Yes. And that's what a lot of my friends have told me. And for me, traveling solo scares the hell out of me.
• 23:26
  I get a lot of anxiety when I'm going to a foreign country by myself. And Kilimanjaro was actually the first time I had traveled internationally by myself. Other times I actually went overseas by myself, but I was meeting somebody there type of deal.
• 23:43
  But Kilimanjaro, I didn't know a soul that was on the hike, and I did a safari after that, wasn't going to know a soul on that either. And I really get nervous and anxious because I love crime shows as well. So I didn't want to end up on one of those, but at the same time, I could end up on one of those being here in the States as my, actually, my travel agent.
• 24:13
  She and I and her husband went on a cruise to Antarctica last year, and that's who I did the base towers with as well. And she had made a really good point. She lives in a really small town in southeast Kansas, and she said, I would rather die traveling and enjoying something than getting shot up at the Walmart in Parsons, Kansas. It's so true because it's like I want to be able to have said that I experienced things. And my next trip, I'm actually leaving for turkey in ten days. And I've had a few people say, well, are you sure you should go over there? Isn't there a whole lot happening over there? Right. You know, a lot of people are talking about the things that are happening in Israel and the Gaza Strip, and I'm just like, okay, well, you don't know geography very well, but that's kind of far south of where turkey is. But I get it. But at the same time, it has absolutely nothing to do with turkey. And it's just their opinion and their nerves and their roadblocks for traveling. And I'm not going to let that hold me back and my excitement and eagerness to see a new place and to go to a new country. Luckily, right now it still overpowers the anxiety and the fear of traveling. And I'll do something by going to a resort in a tropical country and do nothing but lay there on the beach or at the pool and have a margarita and some tacos. That's about it. Those type of trips versus the adventure ones. And I think having that time to yourself, you do, you learn a lot about yourself. And I think that that is, I mean, like what you're explaining, a lot of people experience, they experience that fear or anxiety, and then they use that as a reason to not go versus that fear and anxiety is showing them something. Right.
• 26:21
  If you get introspective about it, what are we afraid of, right. And you, I commend you so much of still continuing to go because like you said, and you're a travel agent, right? That's what I've always told because my. Mom is more so like that when I do things solo. Like, what about being by yourself? Aren't you concerned? And that's just people projecting. Right. Their fears onto us and that's okay. And also, I would rather not them, like you said, die somewhere else than being in my house, being afraid to leave or to travel anywhere. Because I think it's so important that we feel that, right. Because I think fear is a very intense emotion if you're not used to feeling it. And it can, if we allow it.
• 27:13
  Right. Keep us from doing the stuff that we really want to do. And I think, like you said, with traveling solo, it all comes back to you, right? You are figuring out where you're going or who you're going to be with and you get to have that time alone that I don't think a lot of us give ourselves when we're in our everyday life.
• 27:39
  Yeah, I completely agree. And I think it's also important to note that while I highly encourage people to do it, if that is not your thing, that's quite all right. But do not project those things because you're worried about it for you. Don't project those onto somebody else that doesn't have that same thought. Just like I wouldn't push somebody to go do it, I'm not going to project all of that onto them. But I just think it's important that people understand. If that's what works for you, great. But that doesn't mean that it's going to work for everybody else. And obviously that's not the only aspect in life where that can apply to. But I think that, I highly encourage people to do it, but I would never force somebody to do it.
• 28:41
  But I personally believe they're the ones that are missing out. I don't think that I'm necessarily putting my life in much more danger doing that than I am driving down the streets. Yeah, I think it's the illusion of safety, right. We believe, and this is what I say about safety, like safety is. Go ahead. What did you want to say? I was just going to say it's familiarity as well. Yeah, for sure.
• 29:04
  Familiarity, because you know the roads, you know where you're going. It's like if you take a road trip to somewhere you've never been before, the way there always seems so much longer than the way back because you don't know exactly where you're going, and so you're really on high alert. And so on the way back, it seems like it's so much faster, but in reality, it's the same exact distance, is the same exact path, but it all has to do with your mindset and the way that you're looking at it. Yeah. And I think that, like you said, if traveling isn't your way of enjoyment and fun and getting outside of your comfort zone. Okay. Because I think a lot of times people hear people on podcasts and they're like, oh, well, so and so is doing this. I should go do that. So stop with the shoulds. Right? Like, if it's not something that you're like, a hell, yes, for, then obviously don't do it. But if it is something that you have a drive and a desire for, then that is where you get to look and be like, why am I not doing it?
• 30:03
  Right. This is something that I enjoy and I like to do, or I want to even just explore it and see if I want to do it.
• 30:10
  Talk to me a little bit about. Because I think we both used to look at traveling as a way to escape, versus now traveling is just. Part. Of who we are, and it's just something we do versus. I got to take this vacation because I think a lot of times people think that, right, like, we use traveling as a way to escape our everyday life, versus it's just who we are and it's what we do, and we're not using it as an escape route anymore. Yeah, I like, borderline with it because when I was coaching, I would get two vacations a year, one usually in May and one in August. And the one I would take in May was always to a tropical island, and I would go to an all inclusive resort. I would just be in the water the entire time, eat some good food, drink some good drinks, and that was it. I really didn't explore a whole lot of the countries I went to. And then when I stopped coaching and I started traveling, it was more to travel to learn, and it was even if I was doing, and it's not always out of the country stuff, I've traveled all across the United States, and there's still so many more places in the states that I want to visit, because there's still so much more to learn about this country, and it is a part of me, and I get the itch when I've been home for a while that I really want to get out and do something. And then, just like last year, I ended up being in 2022, the beginning of 2023. I keep forgetting we just hit the new year in the beginning of 2023. I had traveled a lot, basically, from May of 22 to February of 23. I was gone probably three weeks out of the month. It was nuts. There was a whole lot going on. I honestly didn't plan it that way, but I finally got. I was like, I need to sit myself down. I want to be here. I want to be at my house. I want to enjoy this. But I just actually texted my travel agent the other day and told her that I want to go to two new countries this year, the Bahamas and Kurosao. And her response was like, well, those aren't as adventurous as what you've been on the last two years. I said, yeah. I said, it's been a while since I've actually taken that vacation, because I didn't realize until you just said it. These other trips I had gone on, I didn't necessarily look at them as vacation. I didn't look at my as business. I looked at them as an experience. And I told her, I said, I haven't had that beach vacation to where I'm doing nothing and just relaxing in several years. Because everything else I was doing, there was stuff that was planned out, and it was learning and going and experiencing. Experiencing. Howard, that word may be pronounced. I think that that's a really important point because we were traveling full time for six months out of a suitcase, right. And every couple of weeks, I was trying to find a new place for us. And I think for us high achievers, high performers, we sometimes want to go to those end extremes versus where is the happy medium? In the middle. Right. And it's not a problem if we go to one end or the other. But I think remembering, like you're saying, because when you brought that up, it's like, yes, I got to a point where it's like, okay, I just want to stay in one place for an extended period of time. In the beginning, it's fun, it's enjoyable. And then I think some of that, just our bodies and the humanness of us that want somewhat of a routine, I'm not so hell bent like my husband is. Super routine has the same thing for breakfast every morning, and every morning I wake up, I'm like, okay, it'll be this for breakfast. And it'll be this. I change all the time, but I do enjoy working out consistently. I do enjoy having. Not that you can get good food, but sometimes it's a little difficult to find plant based stuff, which you would think that it wouldn't be because it's just veggies and fruits. I think that being intentional.
• 34:39
  Right? Like, what type of travel are we going on? And knowing that, okay, it's going to be, when I say dicey, it's going to be action packed, right? And then now what does my body need now it needs some rest and relaxation and next trip, like you say, it just needs to be kind of like chill and by the beach and. Not like 90 miles an hour. And I think that comes back to slowing down. Tell me what your thoughts are on that slowing down and actually kind of evaluating. Like, okay, what have I done? What do I want to do, and what am I feeling in my body and what does my body need moving forward?
• 35:22
  Completely agree. And I think part of that is I know that my body is going to need to slow down and figure out what exactly the next plan is for my back. However, I still want to be able to go. Like, I want to hike rim to rim at the Grand Canyon or something like that. I just know that I'm going to need a lot of help doing it because I can't carry a full pack. Like, I'm not supposed to carry more than five to ten pounds on my back anyway. Well, three liters of water is five pounds, so that will get interesting. But I think that really listening to what your body is telling you, because it will talk to you.
• 36:05
  It will talk to you. It will tell you what's happening, what's going on, and what it needs, and we just have to be smart enough to listen to it. And I think that when people ask me about vacations and stuff, and they'll ask me for ideas, and I'm like, well, what do you like to do? Well, I don't know. Well, okay. Were you looking for a relaxing vacation? I can quickly name some resorts for you to go to, or do you want to go off and do things? And it always depends. And I'm one of those. I do like a schedule. I really do like a schedule because that helps a lot of my anxiety of not knowing the unknown, what's going to come. Yeah.
• 36:51
  However, I'm one of those that I'll have days off where it's a plan. Day off. This is just free day or whatever. Go do whatever you want to or whatnot. But I'll also have the days where if there's somewhere I want to go, like a tour or whatever, I'm going to make sure that it's scheduled because I don't want to lose out on a spot. I want to make sure I get what I want and that type of thing. And it's crazy because my best friend has gotten, the longer she's been married to her husband, the more she's gotten like him, with kind of just waiting to the last minute. And for me, it gives me anxiety not to have the plans set right, but they're able to be fine with it, and that's cool because it works for them. For me, not so much. I want to know if we're going on a seven day vacation. I want to know what to pack. I want to know what kind of shoes do I need. But I'm going to plan in the relaxation. I'm going to plan in the excursions or whatnot. So I think that it's good to really listen and pay attention. Just don't be stubborn and not paying attention to your body and what it's telling you to do. And that relaxation or that vacation may be 15 minutes from your house. Hell, it may be at a hotel, your same town. That can still be a staycation. You can still have that.
• 38:25
  It doesn't have to be in a foreign country or even another state. I'm so glad you said that. I want to say two things. One, for some of us, that vacation could be literally in your house saying no to your family and your children. And I think that that's where we have to start. I know. I used to fantasize, like, oh, well, I want to go by myself or go on this trip or whatever. And it's like, I couldn't even say no to everyone else to sit down and watch a Netflix show. You know what I mean? And so I think that we fantasize and we see people, or you watch Instagram or.
• 38:56
  You know what I mean? It's like, you see this and it's like, oh, everyone's doing all of these big things. It's like, yeah, but where's your. Outside your comfort zone? Maybe it's just like, mom's going to hang out, or I'm just going to hang out on the couch by myself, and I'm going to watch what I want to watch all weekend.
• 39:10
  You so really just. Here we go. Back to stop comparing yourself to what everyone else is doing and what is your outside your comfort zone and honoring that. The other thing is what I have really taken on is like, this isn't the only time I'm going to come back to this country if I like it. I think a lot of us want to jam pack everything in seven days and we lose that when you're just rushing through. It feels like a checklist to me versus really soaking in and enjoying the experience.
• 39:48
  Because my husband grew up with a mom who just rushed through everything through vacation and now we do plan things and we have rest days and so I think it's okay that comes from that scarcity mindset of like we have to pack everything in versus it's okay we can come back another time, it's not a problem. And I think that that can help you not feel so like let's just jam it all with all of the, because you're going through the motions. Like what are you even going to. Remember if you're jampacked all day, every day for seven days? That's where a lot of people end up coming back from vacation and saying they need a vacation. They need a vacation.
• 40:29
  Yes. Really, the only thing that should really tire you from a vacation is the travel time changes. It'll be a lot, but I don't think you have to pack every single day, a twelve hour day excursion or whatnot for the entire time you're gone.
• 40:57
  Now there's people that can handle that.
• 41:00
  Kudos to you. But are you really listening to your body and what's really going on?
• 41:07
  Are you just kind of ignoring it? I think that that's the thing that people need to remember is just listen to your body and be honest with yourself. Because kind of like what you were talking about before with people having excuses or whatever.
• 41:25
  Because I know plenty of parents and I might upset some people with this, but I really don't care. There are plenty of parents who will use their children as excuses for why they can't do something.
• 41:37
  And I think it's really sad because I see it where those parents really do want to do this. They really want to do something, but for whatever reason, they're using their child as an excuse, knowing full well they have a complete village surrounding them. And I don't want parents to use their children as an excuse as to why they can't do something. I get finances, that makes perfect sense. But I think that there's too often that in the experience that I have had, parents will use their children as an excuse for keeping them from enjoying things. And I've seen it where people have got burnt out because they're not taking the time for them. And I'm not saying go on a seven day european vacation, take that 36 hours and lock yourself in your room. I'm sure your kids will be fine. They'll be alive.
• 42:42
  And that's the goal at the end of the day, is to make sure that your family is going to be okay. That's a really good point because I actually had this conversation with another person when we were. I think it was episode 29. Don't quote me. I'll put in the show notes about money trauma and about how parents use their children as blaming their children, why they can't do something from a financial reason. And you can do that. Parents, like you say, parents also do that from a travel perspective. And I think where it really comes down to is when we blame, we don't want to take responsibility as to why we aren't doing something. Right. Like, you're not going because there's a feeling there that you're going to feel when you leave. And whatever it is, guilt, shame, whatever it is that you're not wanting to feel, like that's what it comes down to.
• 43:30
  Right? And I think, like you say. As. A child, it doesn't feel very good to hear your parents say they can't do Xyz because of you. And so just watching as parents, watching our language around our children and powerfully choosing, like, my daughter and my husband today, they went to go ski and she couldn't find her. Or we bought a weekly pass so we don't have to be on the weekend. And I said, well, I don't go up on the mountain. I'm still learning. Like, I'm on the baby, baby hill. And I said something like, we can't go on the weekend. And I said, no, back that up. We can go on the weekend. We just choose not to because we already have the pass. We could pay and go on the weekend. And my daughter was like, mom, it is can't. And I'm like, no, it's not. We always have a choice. And I think it's like remembering that as parents, as humans, right, we're choosing to not go on vacation. And it is not because of our children. It is something that's deeper in there that we need to explore. And so I'm so grateful that you said that because it's so true. A lot of parents are like, I can't do XYz because of my kids. And, yeah, your kids take your kids out of it. I think it's the same thing. I use this analogy a lot. It's somebody complaining about their weight, but they're doing absolutely nothing about it. If you have a complaint, you need to do something about it. Well, we complain about things we can change. That's it. No one complains about the gravity or the sun shining or things like that. We complain for things we can change. Exactly. And I think it's up to you to make that change.
• 45:19
  And if something is really important to you, which to me means that you speak about it a lot, it's on your mind, and so therefore, you're talking about it a lot.
• 45:30
  So it is of some level of importance to you. So if you're talking about it, you need to talk about finding a solution to making the change about it. So if you are a parent who really wants to take a vacation, sit down with your significant other, and I'm not saying that's necessarily the other parent to your children, it's somebody else that would help you in that situation. Right. And I think that scares a lot of people, too, because that means they're vulnerable in a sense, to somebody. Right. And they're opening up themselves to other judgment that should not be there. But when you talk to somebody and saying, I have this issue, I want to solve this, how can we do this? Then you move forward from there.
• 46:20
  And I really believe that a lot of people would be very shocked at how many people, one, think the same way. Two, want to be able to help you with whatever it is that you're trying to do. If with the new year right now and everybody's got these resolutions or vision boards and goals and whatever you have set for yourself, I firmly believe you tell somebody about those. For one, it's accountability. Two, they might have some ideas for you. They might have a way to help you out. And I'll stick with the weight loss one, or whatever. If you tell somebody, they might be like, hey, I really want to get back in the gym, too. Maybe we should go. We should start going together or text each.
• 47:09
  Know, it might be me and you. You're in Idaho, I'm in Arkansas. I can still hold you accountable via a text message or a phone call. Right. And so I think sometimes it's the nervousness and scaredness that keeps coming to mind. I know ability is what it is. Right. It's like the vulnerability of like, yeah. And you're just scared somebody else is going to know something that you think, and I promise you, more than likely they're going to be thinking the same thing, or they have known somebody to think the same thing, and they're going to be able to be able to help you in that situation. But I really believe that if you open yourself up just a little bit to some of that vulnerability, that there's going to be somebody to be able to help you. Like you said earlier, I'm not perfect in this. I know I'm really good at do as I say, not as I do. I say stuff, and it's like hitting me for different aspects of. Yeah, and it's just like kind of a literal slap in the face. It's like, you dummy. That's how I did Kilimanjaro as well, because a friend of mine called me, asked me, I've been talking about Kilimanjaro for years.
• 48:30
  She calls me in August of 2018 asking for some advice. She had a big life changing decision she needed to make, and I told her say yes and figure out the details later because it all just made sense with everything she was telling me. And I woke up the next morning and I'm like, why the hell aren't you doing that with Kilimanjaro? Because I was waiting for somebody else to say yes to go with me.
• 48:53
  Why am I waiting for somebody else? And within 24 hours, I had the trip booked. So I think just sometimes listening to your own advice and just opening up to a little bit of vulnerability to somebody. Yeah.
• 49:08
  And I always say waiting creates more waiting. So start looking at what are the feelings? Right? Because there's always going to be some feeling that is preventing you from having what you want.
• 49:20
  What is it? And allowing yourself to feel it. Do you have anything else that you want to say? Yes. Thank you for having me on. And I do a lot of this conversation and mindset work with my clients, and you can find out about that on my website, which is just my name. It's jodygreevy.com, and it also has a link to purchase the books that I have written.
• 49:48
  And the most recent one was conquering Kilimanjaro. And it talks about my journey to Kilimanjaro from why I decided to do it, my mindset as a kid, and kind of how all of that, the competitiveness came into play and then everything that I endured on the mountain. And so I call it a quick experience read because it's not a long book, but it's one of those that kind of gets exciting as you're going along and really make it feel like you're on the trip with me. So you can find that on my website as well. I love that. Thank you for coming on and sharing your story.