Latest / The Good People Project: Kindness, Service & Community / The Quiet Power of Crisis Hotlines: Finding Yourself in the Listening | The Good People Project
Transcript
- I used to think that saving someone else’s life meant I had to be whole myself. It took me three years on a crisis hotline to realize that my cracks were actually where the light got in for people who had nowhere else to shine. Let’s get real about what it costs to care. For a long time, I carried this heavy, invisible backpack full of other people’s pain, believing that if I wasn’t fixed, I couldn’t help anyone else fix theirs. I thought empathy was a resource you spent, like gas in a car, and once it ran out, you were stranded. So I pulled away. I stopped answering the phone when it rang late at night because I was terrified of running empty. But here is the truth I learned slowly, painfully, beautifully: compassion isn’t a finite tank. It’s a muscle. And like any muscle, it tears before it grows stronger. When you sit with someone in their darkest hour, you aren’t just holding space for them; you are being reshaped by the sheer weight of human resilience. You begin to understand that healing isn’t linear. It’s messy, loud, and often silent. And you start to see your own struggles not as failures, but as bridges. Because how can you reach someone in the dark if you’ve never walked through yours? I remember my very first call as a volunteer. My hands were shaking so bad I nearly dropped the headset. The person on the other end wasn’t shouting or crying. They were just… quiet. A stillness so profound it felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to offer solutions. I wanted to tell them everything would be okay, which is the most useless thing anyone can ever say to someone in crisis. Instead, I just breathed. I listened. And in that silence, I found something unexpected. I didn’t find answers. I found connection. That moment taught me that presence is a radical act. We live in a world that demands we fix, solve, and optimize every problem. But some problems don’t need fixing. They need witnessing. And in learning to witness without judgment, without agenda, without the desperate need to control the outcome, I began to heal parts of myself I hadn’t even known were hurting. The hotline didn’t just teach me how to listen to others; it taught me how to finally listen to myself. Thank you for letting me into your day, for listening, and for being part of this community. Until next time, keep showing up, one breath at a time.