Latest / Alive & Kicking: Stories of Waking Up with Kay Eck / Interview with Sue Gaskell | Awakening through Inner Child Healing

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Interview with Sue Gaskell | Awakening through Inner Child Healing · Alive & Kicking: Stories of Waking Up with Kay Eck

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Alive and Kicking Podcast.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_02: I'm your host, Kay Eck, and this is where we talk to ordinary people about their extraordinary lives.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to the Alive and Kicking Podcast, viewers and listeners, and thank you so much for being with us today.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: I have as my guest Sue Gaskell, and I'm so excited to talk to you, Sue, all the way from New Zealand.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: It was a heck of a time getting the time straight.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_02: But here we are together, and I'm so delighted.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_02: So welcome.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_02: Pleasure to be here.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: Awesome.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: So you came to my attention on Facebook, as do many of my guests, and we are we were um participants in a Facebook group called Real Men Real Talk.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm not exactly sure how either of us ended up there, but that's where we met.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: And I just felt instantly felt a like the warmest energy coming from you.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_02: And it was like I mentioned before when we spoke, that it was like it's kind of like a mother's hug.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, your energy is, and also has a really stabilizing field that um reminds me of the Divine Mother or Mother Mary or anything like that.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_02: So it's going to be fun talking to you and hearing about your journey.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_02: So um let's just get started.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm interested in hearing first um about your background.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: So fill us in on how you grew up, where you grew up, and what that was like for you.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I grew up in Derby, which is in the UK, Derbyshire, 15 miles from Robin Hood Country and Nottingham.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm one of 11 children, the 10th of 11 with a younger brother, and I was born on my mum's living room floor, a breech baby, delivered by my grandma and my elder brother, he tells me, on Friday, the 13th, 1946.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, that is already a fantastic story.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_02: Did your mother deliver all the babies at home?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: As far as I know, she had miscarriages, which I didn't know about until my elder brother told me, because my mum and my dad had both died before I was out of my teens.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_02: So, what was that childhood like with that busy household that that um oh my gosh, like so many personalities, so many energies, so much to navigate, so much um you know, vying for attention and resources and all of that.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: What was that like?
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, um, one brother died before I was born.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: He died, he was 11 years of age, Donald.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: He went to school without saying bye-bye to my mum to help the local milkman on the milk float.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: He'd hopped on the back, the milkman didn't know he was there, and jerked.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Donald fell off and was killed instantly as the milk float ran over him.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I didn't know because I wasn't born.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: So there's two sections to our family, and so if you can imagine half the 11, because the elder brothers and sisters had left home, my brother was in the army, I can remember him coming home, and then the elder brothers and sisters became my parents.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: My the fact that I was in between a younger brother and the next brother up, the next um member of the family up was also a brother, and mum favoured the boys, that's how it was back then.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: So being the middle of three children, that was the difficulty, finding out how to fit in so that I wasn't invisible.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I must have decided that if I could not be involved, because they were quite horrible to me, as boys were back then, I decided to be the ball girl if they were playing football.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: So at least I wasn't invisible.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I I can definitely relate to that.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: I had two older brothers, and um they also were quite difficult on me growing up and my sister.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_02: And um I also developed like this super tough veneer.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: I was like a tomboy, I climbed trees, I ran with the boys, I I was tough as nails, really.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_02: And it was it was all protective, and sometimes that's what you have to do.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_02: So it what what were your what did you feel like there were expectations on you to be a certain way?
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: Also, I want to point out also that my mother favored the boys as well, and that that like makes things extra, extra challenging, especially when it's the same-sex parent, you know.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah, I do, I do understand.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: And my mum favored the boys.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: The boys were allowed to, if they passed their scholarship, which they did, they were allowed to go on to higher education.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: The girls, my eldest sister, the eldest of the family, was so bright, and she wasn't allowed because that's how it was.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: So it wasn't obvious to me then.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: What I do know is that I, like yourself, was a tom, a tomboy.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to fit in, I wanted them to like me, and going through school because there's so much to talk about, isn't there?
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Going through school, um, I just wanted them to like me, the male sex.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted their approval, I wanted to please, so I wouldn't have this horrible feeling of being rejected or abandoned, of being left out.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: And at 15, my dad collapsed on me.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Mum was hysterical.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: I went off in the night to get my sister on her bike in the dock, not knowing where I was going, and came back.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: And my dad died a few hours later at 15.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: I went to work the next day.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't by that time in work at Rolls-Royce, the big Rolls Royce.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I worked as an errand girl.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: And some of the men said, Isn't she brave?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: and said to me, You're very brave.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that began 30 years of me living in survival mode of being brave, not looking at this devastation, the man in my world who I absolutely idolized and adored, had died and left me.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just reflecting on it now and know that a lot of people live in survival mode.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: You don't want to face the pain, so you act out a certain way, and that doesn't mean you're false, it means like an animal, we go to survival mode, and my bravery wasn't courage, it was bravery, if that makes sense.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I I can relate to that as well, too, because I think what you're speaking to is that we put on this mantle of bravery, but it's it's to hide the vulnerability and the uh you know the extreme weakness that you feel, the the extreme danger that you're always feeling.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: And courage, on the other hand, seems to be more about being comfortable in the vulnerability.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_02: It's more um, it's more resilient, you know, than that that tender, tender heart that you were protecting.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_02: So, did you have a sense growing up that this is kind of where your journey was taking you?
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_02: Was that you were creating yourself to survive your environment?
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, when that happened and dad died, my lovely, I I can I really need to impress on anyone who can relate to any of my story that I had no idea how important my dad was to me.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: There wasn't anyone that talked about feelings, and so at 16, that was 15 and a half, at 16, um, because I didn't wasn't a good girl, didn't make my bed, didn't help my mum.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: There were three of us left at home.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: One of my sisters, it doesn't matter who, because it's never about the other person, told me off because I hadn't been helping my mum, and then pinned me down to the floor, and as a result of that, I left home.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: And then at 17 I got married.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: I had a baby, a miscarriage after about three, four months after.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: I lay in bed for two weeks trying to save that little baby.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: I admitted a bottom drawer full of her clothes.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: I was so happy, and then of course, the I miscarried and then got pregnant straight away.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: And then my first um beautiful son was born, and three months later, my mum, my gran, a brother-in-law, all in quite big succession, died.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: So there I am at 19, an orphan.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I do not believe, looking back, that I had a clue as to this was setting me up for my journey.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: That happened a lot later on.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: In terms of my belief system, in spiritual, religious, whatever word people choose to use, I have no issue with.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I don't think I realized.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'd had abuse on my little body in many ways.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: Having said all of that, humiliation at school, I didn't feel that that was awful.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: I know that sounds strange, because what was awful was when my dad died.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so I don't honestly, to try and answer your question always, totally honestly, I had no concept.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: I then went on, going back to I'm 19, 20, I've got a young family, and I knew that I wanted to, there was something calling me.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: One more thing, which is is important on the journey.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: When I was at Royce's and I'm 16, I went 15, I beg your pardon.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: I went early from home at lunchtime to listen to a speaker called Billy Graham on the big park on the way to work.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: And and he said, Jesus wants you, and called, there was hundreds of people, and that had a profound effect on me because I knew this name Jesus, a man who walked this earth, knew about unconditional love, and it's the unconditional love for me at such a depth of soul level that has been my calling.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I don't I'm literally sitting in my kitchen looking out my window at the Billy Graham Center that is on the campus of Wheaton College in Illinois right now.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, because you've told me, wow.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: From head to toe, from head to toe.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: There's a okay.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_02: I mean it's it's like um, you know, it regardless of the um the the religious implications or the ideology, at sometimes something touches your heart and you're not the same afterward.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_02: Would you would you describe that as being your experience?
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: I can remember vaguely that I knew it was not a good idea to tell mum and dad I was going.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why I would think that.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: And when I was there listening, the the sensation, the calling was so deep, and I'm I'm almost experiencing it now.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: It was so deep that it was impossible not to walk up to where everyone was.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: That he said, come and join in the name of Jesus.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: So it did have a profound effect on me.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: And after Dad died, uh, my mum and my sister and I would go to church in the evening.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: I was just delighted to be involved because it made me feel nice, and I can remember feeling this, it's like coming home.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's yes, it's like coming home.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's beautiful.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_02: So you had a young family, and how did this this experience change you?
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_02: What happened after that?
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, by this time I have three children, um Ivan, Mandy, and Sean.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember I'd go to church on my own, and I'd go for years to this amazingly uplifting church.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: I went to the Roman Catholic faith, I went to um different places in India or um Deepak Chopra, the Dalai Lame, I listened to, all coming over to our country.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't go traveling to them.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it was before social media.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: I can remember sitting there profoundly touched by what they were all saying because they were talking about peace, they were talking about love, and sometimes it was a fear-based love, and sometimes it was this unconditional love, which my understanding is our soul, our inherent gift.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: When we come onto this earth plane, we have this unconditional love, and then very soon, especially as the experts say, by the time we're seven, we've learned to stop connecting to that unconditional love that we mattered, and we learn to act from this survival mode, which is conditional, that's the man-made concept of love.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: So it's been quite a journey, and at 40 in my 40s, I was confirmed in the English um Methodist Church.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, so how did your spiritual journey affect the way you raised your children?
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: My daughter went next door with an elderly man, a very lovely man, to a very high Anglican church.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: She went three times a day.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I obviously had made some impact, and the people around had, because she is incredibly aware of Jesus.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: She doesn't follow any particular.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: If indeed she needed that clarification that she mattered.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so I felt incredibly alone because I always went to church for years to this amazing Pentecostal.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: Here's a little story, and I never joined the groups there because I've I realized very quickly that people going to the church, although they had this deep faith, they followed the Bible, they talked about each other.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: They were mean, they were quite unkind.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not me being judgmental, I'm observing what I hear and what I see.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: And this particular day I went to church, and there was a very elderly lady that I'd seen a few times, ever such a petite little lady.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: One day she's she was sat next to me.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: Now she always made some noise during the service.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: So this particular day she was next to me, and I just automatically, when she started squealing, I just put my arm around her.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: See, I'm tingling again now, and I just looked into her little face and I said, It's all right.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: And she just she was it was like a child looking at me, and she settled down.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: So that was just if I was close near to her.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: So this particular day I go to church, and this lovely little lady is over the other side of the church, and I we I hear her squealing.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: Some people would pick a baby up if they're crying, you know, because everyone needs to be respected.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: And they brought a wheelchair in and wheeled her out.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: Well, like I say, I didn't join groups, and on that occasion I went and I made an appointment to see the vicar.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I said to him, Can you can you tell me something?
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: He said, I'll do my best.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: I said, Where was the compassion for that elderly lady?
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: She only needed a little bit of love, and she was wheeled out of church as though she was unimportant.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: And he looked at me and he said, I haven't got an answer to your question.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: And that day changed me again profoundly because I see people who haven't who have no, they even can say they have no belief that there's life after death or anything.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: I see them acting in a kind, humane, loving, compassionate way that so many people in a religion they do themselves no favor or their faith.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you know of love, this deep unconditional love, compassion, not sympathy, big difference, then your behavior portrays that because we're all in this together, the human condition, the human race.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I heard someone say, if one of us is hurting, we're all hurting.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: That again had a profound effect on me.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, that's such a beautiful story, and also um something really to take to heart because I I also know people who would not consider themselves to be spiritual or religious who do practice that level of kindness and compassion.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, we can we can, I I know I speak for myself, like you can get really caught up in the you know the the pro the spiritual progress.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes I call it like the treadmill.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_02: You know, sometimes you feel like you're on a treadmill, you gotta do this, you gotta do that, you gotta learn this, you gotta learn that.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_02: And really, there's there's nothing to be done at all except.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: For that, you know, is to cultivate kindness and compassion toward yourself, which then is can radiate outward, right?
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_02: Was that self-compassion that that part of your healing journey through what you'd been through?
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: Gosh, it's it's absolutely lovely to talk to you and to anyone listening.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, again, I put myself in that position and I look back over my life, and I'm very happy to be vulnerable and say that I've made huge mistakes because I was so hard on myself.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: I had an inferiority complex, I understand now.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: I had irrational guilt and irrational fears, and the baseline was that I lived my life with unconditional love for everyone else except myself.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was a professional people pleaser, if you like, or amateur.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I ended up with um an eating disorder that spanned 30 years.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: I've written a book about it because a sister said to me when I was just had my second baby, ask Susan, ask Susan, haven't you put weight on?
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: Now, prior to that, I was ticking along nicely.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: I was looking after children.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: And the next day was the first day of at least 30 years with an eating disorder that led to an um a breakdown.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: It was just called a breakdown in 1991, where I went into an amazing therapy and had to learn why my life wasn't working.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: And my life wasn't working, Kay, because I was so busy looking after everyone else.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: And in my internal dialogue, control, punishment, fear, power-based, because that's the language we were taught, and that's a human language of fear, and as a result of that, that's where my journey began.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: When I realized that other people didn't care as I did, that was the biggest shock of my life.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: Then I had to realize that I mattered, and that's been a big struggle, and I now know because I've written another little it's only it's an e-book only.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: I've unlearned the language of blame, shame, and fear, and words that go with it that feed that low self-esteem in the ego programming, and I've learned a new language, which is the language of love in the human condition, where there are no buts, there are no shoulds, there are no can'ts, there's just this amazing relationship with the child within, the reconnection to the child and the parent to create an adult that becomes their own best friend.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I hope that makes sense.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_02: That's such a um that's such a that's like a lifelong journey, in my opinion.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_02: At least it has been for me.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I you and I have so much in common because I I used I talk about um and I I wrote in my um upcoming book that um I had to launch an I Matter campaign, and it did not start with a grand plan, it started very small, um, just starting to do things, just actually uttering the words was the first step, like I matter, and I had never previously really embraced that at all.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I was probably 55 years old when this started occurring, so um it hasn't been that long, you know.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_02: I've and uh I'm amazed at your journey, and I I want to hear how that realization and that change of course affected your life and your relationships.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: I had been married um for the children had pretty much left home or leaving home, and my going into therapy, which is a huge thing for people to understand, if you change, then if your the person with you doesn't change, then you run into a whole new um set of um criteria.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: After I realized and came to the base facts, which were my husband didn't want to change, why would he?
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: And it had to be me that had to change.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I left my relationship after 31 years.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: I that came a time of me on my own, and I gosh, I worked as a swimming group leader for eight years in my 20s.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: I then went on my own and created Shaway Slimming Clubs where thousands of people have come to me over the decades.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: I became a life coach.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: I then um limped my way through getting some sort of recognition within myself.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: I can remember as though it was yesterday.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's never about the other person, so it was always about me, and I can remember as though it was yesterday.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'd got a little one-bed sit and a room that I saw clients, and I lay there and I was trying to find the little girl inside of me because I knew that I'd got to do that because my life wasn't working, and I'm lying there because I've been to see a lady once and it's T A P.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's just it's got a name.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'll try and recall it if anyone wants to know, and it's about the child, the adult, and the parent within every human being.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd read this, I'd been one session.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: She said, You don't need me, get this book, read it.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm lying there and I'm looking for the little girl, and all of a sudden, up sprang this matchstick box figure, you know, the round head stick figure.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: And this figure was black, and then it had red horns, it had this fork in its hand with red poker and a red tail, and it was just jabbing at me like this.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_00: This is absolutely, I never tell lies, it's the absolute truth.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I went, okay.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: I said it's okay, and this thing was jagging, jabbing at me.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: I said, It's okay, I'm here, I'm not gonna leave you, and it just went jabbing on.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm lying on my bed.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I said, I have to go now because I'd got a client.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: You're coming with me, I'm not gonna let you go.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: For days and days that went on, and I'd connect and say, How are you doing?
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: jab, jab, jab.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then about the third day, this little figure was in a black cave.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: I can see it now.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: She sat on a stone, she's ragged, she's black, and it's a stick figure, and she went, and I said, Yes, it's tiring being that angry, that alone, you'll never be alone again.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: And she hasn't been, so she and I reconnected and I started looking after her.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, I mean that is um quite quite an experience and quite a story.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_02: I I don't quite understand how you knew to do that, how to do that.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um how did that occur to you?
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: I would imagine because I was I wanted to know what made me tick, why I felt frustrated, why my my frustration was frustrating me.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I used to say, like everyone else, I was in the blame shame game.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: It was always my fault.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: On the odd occasion, I blame other people, and I'd say that people misunderstood me.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: And in therapy, Haru Gadialu, it's a brand new two-year project.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: 30 people came together and we met each week, three times a week.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: I went in a home situation inside the hospital, and I can remember when I was there that he once said, You don't need anyone to understand you except yourself.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: So that that resonated with me.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: And after two years, I was leaving, and he said to the group, Sue's leaving not with my permission.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: So when I went for my interview to go with psychiatrists and that around, I said to him, Why are you being like this?
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: He said, Being like what?
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Well, where's your compassion?
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because everything I said, he belittled.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, Compassion, compassion, huh?
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: He said, I've got more compassion in my little finger than you've got in your whole body.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: And everybody was listening because they thought I was doing really well.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: I was going to go and be an auxiliary nurse.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I said, Oh, I'm sorry, I'll go.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I went home crying, and I said to my husband, what had happened.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, Well, look at you.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: So, although I didn't quite understand, still, I knew that there was a shift going on here, and I needed to find out the answer.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so, digging deeper and deeper, I went for this one-to-one with um this lady I mentioned earlier.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: I got the book and I started learning about the child within, the adult that you and I are now, Kay, talking to each other, and the parent, which is the programming from every single situation that's happened.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: So it's that that brought me to this understanding.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: And what Haru Gadi Ali, this amazing clinical psychologist, psychiatrist who recently died, who I knew that he was trying to help me, and I didn't understand.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I went on a journey.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: I left and went on a journey.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_00: And what he was saying to me, although it was vicious the way he said it, I had no idea, and it really affected me.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: He was trying to say, you have no compassion for yourself, Sue.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: You're going on to a job which is going into nursing to continue helping people.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: You've got to learn to help yourself, find yourself, and then stop helping people, which is all about the ego.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then I learned only a few years ago that helping people is not helpful and it's all about the ego and the self.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: Many of us do it, it's not wrong.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: Supporting people, though, as they create their own journey and you just ask them relevant questions so that they, not you, are the people that continue on their journey.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm hoping that makes sense because that's the answer I've got for your question.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_02: I I also can I also can relate to the um the beautiful helping ego.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, I can that that's been one of my um big revelations in the past couple of years.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_02: I I don't wouldn't really consider myself to be a people pleaser, but I definitely was like considered myself to be a helper, you know, like I was like here to help people, and I understood that that is that is a an expression of the ego because it means that other people need you, you know, they can't do it on their own.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, so I want to talk a little bit about um the inner child journey.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_02: And can you tell us how your inner child transformed as a result of your loving attention and how that manifested in your life?
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: I certainly can.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_00: I I was going through huge emotional pain because I had left a husband who I loved who wouldn't change, and I had to, and I saw then that I had then to go through the grieving process, which has many, many facets to it.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I found this little girl and I said to her, okay, I'm never gonna forget you again, I'll always listen to you, and you and I can reconnect.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I learned how to, if you ask me how, I think it's this.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_00: I I go back to my own intuition.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_00: I learned how to nurture her the way I'd nurtured other people, and not harshly, I was very, very strict with my children and also loving.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_00: So it was without the strictness and with the unconditional love.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: And how I did that, and yes, I work in this field now.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I do a lot, no, the charges, if you haven't got any money, I'll do it willingly because it's it's a labour of love, it's it's a payback.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_00: I do this work where someone comes to me for an hour and they come to me and they're traumatized about something.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that I can take them to that trauma and we can reframe it, and from the reframing, I connect them with their inner child, and they go away with techniques on how to connect and learn how to look after the inner child, and one simple way of doing that, okay.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: And to anyone who can hear what I'm saying and still doesn't know how to do that because I can put myself in that place.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_00: Stop using the word but the U T because I'm talking now, the little girl in me is excited, she's scared.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_00: What is she scared of?
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, well, that's an old fear.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm having this lovely conversation.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm completely relaxed, I'm in a place of love, and that little girl is so content.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: But now I've just cancelled out all of that.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: Now I've gone into ego, and what we need to go back and say, this little girl is excited, she's no longer scared, she's only scared if there's a reason to be, and there won't be a reason because I'll always look after me, and whatever happens, I'll never let go of the little girl, the emotional child, the emotional teenager, the woman, and I won't be activated by something on TV or something someone says, which creates the anxiety of a past trauma.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because I go to the trauma, I heal it, I heal it on a soul level, I heal it on a heart level as a human being, and it's an ongoing journey in the human condition, because 24 hours, this chatterbox, which is the parent within the programming, ego fear is always trying to crawl us back because without feeding the fear, whilst you're feeding the love, only one can be fed.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_00: If you're feeding the love, then you're not going to feed the fear, and when you become vulnerable and you're not quite aware in the moment, then all of a sudden you watch and you can listen to what you're saying.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_00: Pick it up and say, Okay, what is it that you want to tell me?
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_00: Why are you here?
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it goes because it's here to stop you feeling this wonderful contentment, which is on a very deep, deep level from the soul energy.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's my understanding.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's beautiful.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_02: I I have been thinking lately that you know the idea that we need to heal all the things that we've been through, including the trauma, the generational trauma, the collective trauma, we need to heal all these things, but I don't really hear a lot of people talking about how actually you do that.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_02: And so this, like I think it it's really practical.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_02: It's small and quiet, but it's very practical.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_02: And what I say is that you when something comes up that you're experiencing and you're feeling, you go to the person who is feeling that, and you become a mother to that child or person, typically it is a child, and it's not, you don't even need to have had a nurturing mother to do this.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_02: This is like this is like the cosmic mother, this is the the concept of mothering, the mother archetype.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_02: Can you can bring that energy in and just hold that child and be present and pay attention and say, like, I hear you, I hear you.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_02: And that's really all the healing that is required.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_02: Oftentimes it just wants a little recognition, like and then, and then that's it.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_02: And do you do you find that is is that kind of what the practice is?
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_02: Does it does it, I guess, does it need to be any more complicated than that?
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm I'm digesting what you're saying and understanding.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_00: You see, you know, when people say, Oh, I agree with you, they're in the ego.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_00: I think this, they're in their ego.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_00: So when we say, I hear you, I am here for you, I understand, we're in that deeper place of compassion and wisdom, the understanding, because we've learned.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so if something's activated, you and I could have been talking, and um, one or the other could have had an instant um feeling which is not triggered, forget the word triggered.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_00: Triggered sounds like a gun to me, a fear.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's an old fear.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_00: Don't trigger things, activate a feeling.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's a whole show.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_00: Activate a feeling so you allow yourself to feel a feeling that you felt whenever.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_00: And when you own that feeling and you're loving yourself unconditionally, then it's gone.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_00: So, what you're saying is again, it's the truth, it's not your perception or mine, it's the truth.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_00: These I've had decades of people coming to me.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't talk about just my experiences, which I'll do anytime.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_00: I do not mind being vulnerable, I don't mind being questioned, and I've had a lot of that in the years I've been reorganizing my life.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_00: What I do know is that we don't have to visit everything, we don't have to go and ask for our mother or father or anybody's anything, we don't need their approval, we might still want it.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_00: The psychological effect on the inner child is that she is heard or he is heard, and so you can be healed psychologically, there's so many different levels, and it doesn't have to be ever from the person who you felt damage you, it doesn't have to be because they're doing the best they can, and even though you want to blame them or you want to blame yourself, that blame situation is fear-based.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_00: So we need to get to a point.
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_00: Well, this is my understanding, I had to get to a point where when I look back on what happened on different situations, um some things I get, I understand.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_00: And when I look back to being one of 11 children and see the things that happened and the ways I cope with life, every single thing, and I've been married twice and Both husbands have died.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm now in a brand new relationship.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_00: I actually moved in with my partner six weeks ago.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_00: And we have the most amazing relationship because we don't put each other down.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_00: We don't use sarcasm as a sense as a way of putting each other down.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_00: We communicate by discussion.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_00: We have so much fun.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_00: We have a very full life.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_00: And every single moment now for me, I can ask myself instantly, how old am I feeling?
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_00: What's happening?
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's never about the other person.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I journal, I write things down.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to give little things to people that may listen.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_00: Writing things down helps.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's no good not sharing with people because you're only in a cycle of a programming which is giving you answers from the ego.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_00: And if you could work it out, you would have worked it out, worked it out.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why it's important to be able to have the support of someone who can listen, listen with heart ears, listen without giving advice.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_00: I never ever give advice to listen and have no attachment to what the person's saying or their story.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_00: And then to, and that's why I'm a coach, I'm a life coach.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's the qualification.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_00: I also went to university in the last year and hey K.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_00: I went from school to work as an errand girl.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been to university and I've got level five with uh level five in the mental health suicide prevention, and I got five straight A's.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm allowed to have in a human condition to be justifiably proud of what I've done.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas before I would have been called a big head and a show-off, and now um I would say to anybody, you can do anything if you're struggling, if you know that your life isn't working financially, emotionally, psychologically, if you know you're in denial, what does that look like?
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_00: If you know that you drink or smoke all over the top, not just a habit, it's a controlling situation.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_00: You're hiding from a pain that might have happened 30 years ago.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_00: And that's okay, except just think about the fact that if you face the pain, which is gone by the way, and owned how you feel in that moment with someone who can listen, you can walk into someone's room one hour later, walk out with an ability to know that you matter, that there was never anything wrong with you or I in the first place, and follow your intuition and your gut feeling instead of the self-doubt that sabotages us most of the time, the chatterbox.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_02: I think there's such a power in speaking the words of what you're experiencing.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's like it's actually energetic, it like releases that energy from your body to speak it out into the world and then let the universe take care of it, you know, like swallow it up and turn it into daisies or whatever it does.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah, and I think about that that beautiful um container that some people can be, that non-judgmental container, and everybody deserves to have to have that.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I I say, like, don't stop until you find that someone to hear you.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_02: Everybody deserves that.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_02: Everybody deserves to speak it and to be heard.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_02: And um, wow, that's just so beautiful.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_02: So, how did you end up in the UK?
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, in New Zealand from the UK.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I my daughter was here.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_00: I visited on my own three months later, and New Zealand is a beautiful place, everywhere is.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_00: It felt like I was coming home.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_00: Then my partner, then partner who I married, he came out with me.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so my son had also come here, so I've got two of my children here, grandchildren, and that was um 16 years ago.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so I came out here and reinvented myself because I told myself, here's another thing, when you lose somebody, you can you can you can get better or you can get bitter, you can give up or get up, whatever life hands you it's about, the journey.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so for me, coming to New Zealand and leaving behind friendships that I've made in Shawway, the Slimming, thousands of people, and I'm still in touch with so many of those people, and so New Zealand is my home, and my home is where my heart is.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_00: I go back to England up to the last couple of years, most years, so I'm in touch, and then social media, aren't we?
• 49:43
  SPEAKER_00: Privileged to be able to keep in touch, and I'd say to anybody when you have your home is and your heart's with lots of people all over the world, that if you struggle and you are connected to missing love, which hurts, love doesn't hurt, it's the feeling of rejection or the loss or the physical seeing people.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_00: Just say to yourself, that person's in the next room or down the street.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_00: Don't allow yourself to wallow.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't mean that in an unkind way.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_00: I've been there.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_00: Wallow in it's like a self-pity, it's a fear.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're going to feel sorry for yourself and you're a bit depressed, I've been there, done it, all of these things.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_00: Have an amazing celebration of depression and self-pity.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_00: Wallow in it, enjoy it, celebrate it.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_00: You won't stay there long.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_00: Turn it around, in other words.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_02: That's beautiful.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, wow.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean, so much of what you're sharing with us is so incredibly hopeful that there is absolutely no need to have downtime on your journey.
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_02: Like there's you can always, there's always ways to expand and to learn and to grow and to embrace that path is like the renewal.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_02: I I feel it as like a renewal every day, is like an opportunity.
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_02: So wow.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_02: So let's um change course a little bit and we will move into our lightning round.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_02: Does that sound good?
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um, first question for you is have you ever considered changing your name?
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_02: Nope.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely not.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_00: I had to find out why being called Susan ups at me, and that's because it was my in-trouble name.
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I learned that Susan, Suzy, Sue.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_00: My name is absolutely the married names, absolutely not a problem.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I always I felt the same way, except that um I never felt compelled to change my name, but well, I did change my name when I got married, but um I never resonated with my name either.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I couldn't I I couldn't I couldn't come up with a name that was better, but um just somehow like the name, my name just didn't really seem to fit.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_02: And I didn't know whether I should have like I didn't feel like drawn to a more feminine name or a more masculine name or or anything.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_02: I just didn't feel like any name fit fit me, like how I felt about myself or something.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_02: Very, very um interesting.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um okay, second question is who is the kindest person you know?
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_02: Me.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love that.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_02: When I was writing this question, I was trying to think of um who I would say, and of course I've known so many beautiful, kind people, but that that the meaning behind that is so like I feel like I want to cry.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_02: It's so that's what we should we should all feel that way, or not should, but we're all moving in that direction, perhaps.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_00: What's lovely when you just said should we could and we would if we actually knew deep down that we mattered, and so I can give you many people that I admire, and that was my answer because we're a work in progress, and it's not an egotistical me.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_00: The chatter box wants to come in and say, Who do you think you are?
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm saying, me, I'm just me, and stay calmly with that and let it come up and let it go.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because I am that's beautiful, I love that.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, if you could spend one day as an animal, what animal would it be?
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_00: A gorilla.
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_02: Please tell us why.
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_00: A gorilla.
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_00: I looked, I stood looking at a gorilla for the first time in a cage when I was 13.
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_00: And the gorilla was looking in my eyes.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_00: There was no one else there, Jersey Zoo.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I looked into the gorilla's eyes, and I knew that I could trust that gorilla, I could trust the depth, I don't know where I went, and so a gorilla to me is strength, inner strength, and you'll have it proven if you see a gorilla, or some clips where a child falls into their cage, not a cage, you know, in the wilderness, which is it's it's contained.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_00: And this caption of the gorilla picking up the baby.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_00: There's just a depth to the strength and the vulnerability of a gorilla that, yes.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_02: I I I mean, of course, I wasn't expecting that, but I also have this gorilla story that was so I mean I remember it to this day because it was so impactful to me.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_02: I I read a story or I saw a story on the news about a gorilla who was escaping from their enclosure overnight, and they couldn't figure out how this was occurring.
• 55:35
  SPEAKER_02: You know, they would they would find the gorilla and they would bring him back, and then the next night it would the same thing would happen.
• 55:40
  SPEAKER_02: So they decided to put uh some cameras in the enclosure, and they observed what the gorilla was doing, and the gorilla had hidden a piece of metal in its jaw, like up in its around its, you know, up in its lip.
• 56:00
  SPEAKER_02: And at night, when everybody was gone, the gorilla would take the piece of metal and pick the lock.
• 56:07
  SPEAKER_02: And that story just changed everything for me.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like, because I was like, this is higher level thinking here.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_02: This is not this is not what we think of as animals because it it involved deception, it involved cleverness, it involved forethought, it involved manual dexterity, you know, figuring out there's like so many aspects to it.
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_02: And and it just was like astounded me that there's so much that we don't know, there's so much that we don't know about animals and their their consciousness and their oh yeah.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_02: So that's yeah, thank you for sharing that.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's gorgeous.
• 56:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, um, okay, so if you could um describe yourself in three words, what would those words be?
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_00: Loving, wise, and vulnerable.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_00: Oh the trifecta.
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, and then finally, the final question: what is your favorite summertime activity?
• 57:29
  SPEAKER_00: Sharing nature, being as close to nature as you can be with people who get it, people who you can sit and you can listen to each other, you can grow from each other, you can have a laugh, and summer it would be to sit under a tree, the shade of nature, the tree.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just there, I'm just there.
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_00: I love music that would fit in with that, dancing, just being in the moment.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_00: So, did you bring a question for me today?
• 58:17
  SPEAKER_02: If today was the last day of your life, is there anybody that you haven't made peace with I that's so hard that I was not expecting a that type of question.
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um I have been estranged from my sister for some time, and um this is this is a pattern, you know, that it weaves our lives have weaved in and out of each other.
• 59:18
  SPEAKER_02: And um so yes, I guess I would have to say my sister.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um yeah.
• 59:27
  SPEAKER_00: May I respond to that?
• 59:29
  SPEAKER_00: Please.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_00: I knew that you would.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_00: And your sister's name?
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_00: Lisa.
• 59:38
  SPEAKER_00: Can you say that name again?
• 59:40
  SPEAKER_00: Lisa.
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_00: Lisa, thank you.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sending all the love in the world out to Lisa and Kay, and asking the universe, asking the energy of unconditional love to bring people into Kay's life and into Lisa's life so that they can communicate and send lots of loving energy to each other and one day be able to resolve their issues from that place of love.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:00:13
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, thank you so much.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna open up my heart to that.
• 1:00:19
  SPEAKER_00: Brilliant.
• 1:00:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, thank you.
• 1:00:22
  SPEAKER_02: So I want to thank you so much for being with me today.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_02: It's been an absolutely delightful conversation, and I know that uh you just bring so much wisdom and comfort, and I'm so excited that we know each other and now we're gonna be best friends.
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_00: Soul sisters, best friends, yes.
• 1:00:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_00: My pleasure.
• 1:00:47
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for inviting me.
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I would say to anyone that listens to this: if you know deep down that you're not happy, you need to address that because happiness is an inside job.
• 1:01:11
  SPEAKER_00: And remember you matter because you do.
• 1:01:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I want to encourage our um listeners and viewers uh to go to your website and your YouTube channel because you have lots of lovely videos, and if people are feeling like they need some comfort, you're the person to see.
• 1:01:34
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, and it would be my pleasure, and I do send out loving energy, that's how I say it, to each and every person.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_00: And if I can give you just a food for thought, if I can just make you stop and think, then I've done what I consider the work I'm here to do.
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_00: And it isn't work, it's a labor of love, which is to get you to open your heart and your mind to the possibilities of how wonderful life really is.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_00: Beautiful.
• 1:02:09
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much, Sil.
• 1:02:11
  SPEAKER_00: My pleasure, and thank you, Kay.