Latest / The Woody Show / HIGHTLIGHT POD 30 MINS: The Woody Show May 22nd 2026 Podcast
Transcript
- 0:01Speaker 1: Show, show brother, so many different platforms that are looking
- 0:07Speaker 1: for you know, content creators. You know, who can who
- 0:11Speaker 1: could be the next you know, who could be the
- 0:13Speaker 1: next big not late night host of the late night
- 0:16Speaker 1: thing is kind of a dying thing, but like who
- 0:19Speaker 1: could be the next It could be the next funny
- 0:21Speaker 1: person out there. Like maybe if they just need a writer.
- 0:23Speaker 1: And you know, I think it was with the writers
- 0:26Speaker 1: strike or something where this this whole, this whole bit
- 0:29Speaker 1: started charisma.
- 0:30Speaker 2: They need, yeah, not take anyone could be a writer,
- 0:33Speaker 2: but to have that one two punch of.
- 0:37Speaker 1: Factor. Yeah, yeound, Well we have a Menace who is
- 0:42Speaker 1: gonna step up and he's you know, it's it's it's
- 0:46Speaker 1: a constant exercise, right, You gotta you gotta work that
- 0:48Speaker 1: muscle that they say it in comedy, right, it's like
- 0:50Speaker 1: it's like anything else, you know, Yeah, you gotta you
- 0:52Speaker 1: gotta work it out. So Menace in his late night monologue, yea,
- 1:00Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Hey, what's up everybody?
- 1:08Speaker 3: Well, two Air Force jets had sex in midair at
- 1:11Speaker 3: an Idaho air show this week, crashing at a cost
- 1:14Speaker 3: of one hundred and thirty six million dollars or in
- 1:18Speaker 3: basic math, the cost of Tyler's Valtrex order, Wow.
- 1:25Speaker 1: Telchracks for purpees.
- 1:27Speaker 3: People are lighting up two days early for the new
- 1:30Speaker 3: Star Wars movie. That's cool, But my question is if
- 1:34Speaker 3: they're there, who's going to model at the Miami swimsuit
- 1:37Speaker 3: competition getting whoa Let's triumphant dog Air Tennessee abandoned an
- 1:44Speaker 3: execution after failing to find a van. Hey, Tennessee, I
- 1:48Speaker 3: have a wild idea. There's this thing called rope, invented
- 1:51Speaker 3: twenty eight thousand years ago. It has a fail rate
- 1:54Speaker 3: of like never. Yeah for saying like never, here's an idea.
- 2:00Speaker 3: Speaking of Tennessee is Sammy's favorite segment.
- 2:02Speaker 1: By the way, Yeah, speaking.
- 2:03Speaker 3: Of Tennessee, I would like to make a major announcement.
- 2:07Speaker 3: I'm an officially an Ella Fella Ella Langley ganggang in
- 2:12Speaker 3: this building.
- 2:12Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. If you ain't down, eat
- 2:15Speaker 1: ass bitch saying that Dan just did. That's funny. Look
- 2:27Speaker 1: it looks like we're gonna be taking over Cuba. Nice cigars.
- 2:31Speaker 1: I'm all right, yeah, hell yeah, all right. I was
- 2:37Speaker 1: like the setup for pretty cool cigars.
- 2:40Speaker 3: All right, I say, Gorda by the Sea gas station
- 2:46Speaker 3: in big shirt. California has the highest priced gas in America.
- 2:50Speaker 1: At nine a gallon, nine nine a gallon.
- 2:54Speaker 3: Dude, if it hit ten bucks, I'd be like, Nope,
- 2:58Speaker 3: you gotta drug line somewhere. Yeah, te Nope. Morgan announced
- 3:06Speaker 3: that she'll be going to the White House for the
- 3:09Speaker 3: UFC fight.
- 3:10Speaker 1: And it's like, Morgan, you can't be spreading in a
- 3:12Speaker 1: bola like that. It is like that, can't be doing that.
- 3:18Speaker 1: Can't be doing that?
- 3:19Speaker 4: Sure?
- 3:23Speaker 1: All right? H oh wait what we got here? Oh?
- 3:28Speaker 1: Donald Trump went to China. Say no cell phones in
- 3:31Speaker 1: the audience, guys, He's still working on terro.
- 3:33Speaker 4: Right.
- 3:35Speaker 3: Uh, Donald Trump went to China this past week and
- 3:39Speaker 3: the reviews are in chaw Maine fire bock, troy good, broccoli,
- 3:44Speaker 3: beef mid All right, America's most misspelled words revealed new data.
- 3:53Speaker 3: Hilarious to reveal two words favorite and niece.
- 3:56Speaker 1: And you know what that is? Hilarious? Their words, not mine?
- 4:06Speaker 1: All right, how about that? We'll play it back on
- 4:10Speaker 1: the podcast. All right, how about this? I have a question.
- 4:13Speaker 1: Have you guys ever googled color of butthole?
- 4:18Speaker 3: No?
- 4:19Speaker 1: Well I did. Wait, wait, hold on, before you get
- 4:21Speaker 1: to the joke, understand it. Let's just see its color
- 4:27Speaker 1: above holes color.
- 4:29Speaker 3: Okay, so I have a right and the colors are
- 4:32Speaker 3: naturally white, pink, various shades of brown, tan, and gray.
- 4:39Speaker 1: Right, yep, gray, that's what it says. Bundles are typically
- 4:44Speaker 1: some shade of brown, pink, or gray or even purple. Okay,
- 4:49Speaker 1: and there you go.
- 4:50Speaker 3: All right, Why couldn't stop it down? But anyway, another question,
- 4:59Speaker 3: that's yeah, I was trying to get to something else
- 5:02Speaker 3: somehow to show fun facts. Just I was trying to
- 5:04Speaker 3: get something else. Okay, here's another question. I'm just gonna
- 5:07Speaker 3: throw it out there, all right, throw it there.
- 5:08Speaker 1: Have you ever stayed at a Gaylord hotel?
- 5:13Speaker 4: Not that I'm aware of.
- 5:14Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds interesting though. All right, I forgot. I forgot.
- 5:19Speaker 1: I'm going to Montreal this weekend.
- 5:22Speaker 3: And Americans they're always making fun of Canada, and it's.
- 5:26Speaker 1: Like, I get it.
- 5:27Speaker 3: They already had five thousand murders this year, seven hundred
- 5:30Speaker 3: and seventy thousand homeless people and one point nine million
- 5:33Speaker 3: people in jail.
- 5:35Speaker 2: Oh wait a minute, my paper is upside down, all right,
- 5:40Speaker 2: not Canada. I've been to a Gaylord hotel that on
- 5:43Speaker 2: the Oppyland resort.
- 5:45Speaker 3: Oh yeah.
- 5:47Speaker 1: Yeah, how was it? Is it themed?
- 5:50Speaker 5: Oh?
- 5:50Speaker 1: People go during Christmas? At it? Greg? There Christmas? Oh
- 5:54Speaker 1: it's gay, die for it.
- 5:57Speaker 2: I was gonna say, like Christmas now, no, no, no, okay.
- 6:03Speaker 3: So I'm not bagging on America, all right, because we're
- 6:05Speaker 3: about to have our birthday. We're gonna be two hundred
- 6:07Speaker 3: and fifty years old. And that's the same age as
- 6:10Speaker 3: Greg's hearing capacity.
- 6:12Speaker 4: That's right, yeap.
- 6:17Speaker 3: Competitive eater Joey Chess thought was given one hundred and
- 6:20Speaker 3: eighty days of probation for a fight that he got
- 6:23Speaker 3: into at a bar. And I mean, like, come on, dude,
- 6:27Speaker 3: for everything that he's done for this country, what are
- 6:30Speaker 3: we gonna do next?
- 6:31Speaker 1: Lock out the pope? It's the same. Yeah, pope is American?
- 6:37Speaker 1: Speaking of speaking of arrest I can't tell who likes
- 6:41Speaker 1: the segment more, is it? Yeah? Speaking of people? Sammy
- 6:44Speaker 1: as a student of comedy.
- 6:46Speaker 3: Yes, all right, speaking of people being arrested. Britney spears
- 6:52Speaker 3: UI video was released and uh she shout out her mom,
- 6:58Speaker 3: who apparently killed somebody in Knights seventy five.
- 7:00Speaker 1: Really yeah, it's look it up Google, it's real.
- 7:04Speaker 3: Uh So she killed her she killed somebody and then
- 7:07Speaker 3: her She also said her mom tried to kill her
- 7:09Speaker 3: and it's like, hey, Tennessee, are you hiring, because we've
- 7:12Speaker 3: got somebody that can finish the job.
- 7:15Speaker 1: So anyway, it was a call back pretty spears mom.
- 7:20Speaker 3: Yeah, she is alive and apparently can get the job
- 7:25Speaker 3: done for Tennessee.
- 7:26Speaker 1: Anyways, we have a great show for you.
- 7:28Speaker 3: Nelly and uh Marilyn Manson are here everybody?
- 7:34Speaker 1: Well, yeah, have fun in Montreal. Yeah, I will let
- 7:37Speaker 1: you in now.
- 7:38Speaker 4: Is that right?
- 7:39Speaker 1: Was skating jokes? I know crazy Sammy as a fan,
- 7:46Speaker 1: as a fan of the segment. What do you what
- 7:49Speaker 1: do you give him Menace there this week? I give
- 7:51Speaker 1: him a solid seven point five? It's seven point five. Yeah,
- 7:55Speaker 1: all right, well, there you go. There's a MENACE's Late
- 7:57Speaker 1: night monologue. We a few everybody. We'll take a quick
- 8:01Speaker 1: break and come back. Who wants to play the d
- 8:02Speaker 1: u i Q? Looking for a contesting eight seven seven
- 8:06Speaker 1: forty four? What he is the number to call? Eight
- 8:08Speaker 1: seven seven forty four, woody caller? Whatever? I don't know.
- 8:12Speaker 1: Just just grab somebody, good, Morgan. Yeah, we don't need
- 8:15Speaker 1: to do a caller nainety eight. Just grab somebody and
- 8:18Speaker 1: then we'll play d u i Q next on the
- 8:20Speaker 1: Woody Show.
- 8:21Speaker 3: Hey getting.
- 8:25Speaker 4: The Suck Suck Show.
- 8:33Speaker 1: All, well, it's time to play today's dumb ass contests.
- 8:37Speaker 1: And today's dumb ass contest is the cute d u
- 8:44Speaker 1: i Q or Sea Bass. Explain the rules to everybody, please.
- 8:46Speaker 2: I find someone nice and drunk and ask them the
- 8:49Speaker 2: nicest and easiest trivia questions you've ever heard in your life.
- 8:52Speaker 2: So the game is not too for you to answer
- 8:54Speaker 2: the questions. You can totally answer them easily. You're you're
- 8:57Speaker 2: an adult human being. The game is, is this person
- 8:59Speaker 2: so drunk that they won't know the answered? If you
- 9:01Speaker 2: can guess whether they know, two times out of three,
- 9:04Speaker 2: you win.
- 9:04Speaker 1: Let's say hello to our contestant he's gonna try to
- 9:07Speaker 1: win the prize, and say hi to Jeff. What's up? Jeff?
- 9:11Speaker 4: Jeff boy?
- 9:13Speaker 6: Hey, how you doing?
- 9:14Speaker 3: Guys?
- 9:14Speaker 1: Hello?
- 9:15Speaker 5: What up?
- 9:16Speaker 1: It's a good plaint to do u i Q. Now,
- 9:17Speaker 1: before we get to the questions that actually count towards
- 9:19Speaker 1: you winning a prize or not winning a prize, we're
- 9:22Speaker 1: gonna get to know and get a better idea of
- 9:23Speaker 1: just how drunk or with it this person is and
- 9:26Speaker 1: who is this person?
- 9:27Speaker 2: You've got Andrew here, and he's gonna tell us you
- 9:30Speaker 2: know how he does things and where he can and
- 9:33Speaker 2: cannot go anymore.
- 9:34Speaker 1: All right, here is Andrew your advice for going out drinking.
- 9:37Speaker 7: Get drunk, just to get drunk?
- 9:39Speaker 1: Yeah, should you be careful about it at all?
- 9:42Speaker 7: Or just go nuts?
- 9:43Speaker 1: Just go nuts?
- 9:44Speaker 8: Yeah, don't stop so you get kicked out.
- 9:47Speaker 1: He been kicked out at any place I have.
- 9:48Speaker 8: I had like twenty shots of Jamison and big just
- 9:53Speaker 8: freaking kicked out, fell backwards, and I woke up, and
- 9:57Speaker 8: I got back to the we were playing pulling over there,
- 10:01Speaker 8: and they said I had to go.
- 10:02Speaker 7: And did you argue at all? I did?
- 10:05Speaker 1: I said I was fine, Clearly you were not.
- 10:07Speaker 8: I was.
- 10:10Speaker 1: This guy sounds wild? I wouldn't play jameson Yeah. Yeah,
- 10:14Speaker 1: all right, So that is Andrew and Jeff. Are you
- 10:18Speaker 1: ready for the questions? Yes, sir d u, I Q
- 10:23Speaker 1: question number one. Portugal borders what country? All right? Portugal
- 10:30Speaker 1: borders what country? Might be a trick question for all
- 10:33Speaker 1: I know, m okay.
- 10:35Speaker 4: I will begin with yes to Menace, okay, and yes
- 10:40Speaker 4: to Sammy, and I'm tempted to do a triple yes,
- 10:44Speaker 4: but I will say no to Andrew, I'm going opposite.
- 10:48Speaker 1: Really, I'm saying triple now. Yeah, I too, I am
- 10:50Speaker 1: saying triple now. I don't know the answer. Okay, well
- 10:54Speaker 1: it's gonna be hard to get you clues. Let's not
- 10:57Speaker 1: I'll refrain no clues.
- 11:00Speaker 4: You don't know what?
- 11:01Speaker 1: No, really, I don't.
- 11:02Speaker 4: God, you're stupid.
- 11:04Speaker 1: Yeah, I told you that is what I.
- 11:10Speaker 4: Am. I have a lot of faith in the two
- 11:12Speaker 4: of you.
- 11:14Speaker 9: You know, I'm not feeling I'm feeling very cynical today.
- 11:17Speaker 1: I'm saying trouble no, triple no.
- 11:20Speaker 4: I would almost guarantee that menaces it.
- 11:22Speaker 1: Right, I've heard of Portugal, but as far as like
- 11:24Speaker 1: you know, it's people, people who live in this country.
- 11:27Speaker 1: They point to whatever they go, where is this? They
- 11:30Speaker 1: don't even come up with anything close that I can do.
- 11:32Speaker 1: You can do the States, Yeah, that I can do. Yeah,
- 11:35Speaker 1: it's about flags.
- 11:37Speaker 4: I think flags is the hardest.
- 11:43Speaker 1: Do you think do you think that our drunk friend
- 11:45Speaker 1: Andrew will get the answer to this question correct? Yes
- 11:48Speaker 1: or no?
- 11:49Speaker 6: We're going with no.
- 11:52Speaker 4: All right.
- 11:52Speaker 6: Question number one for the d U, I Q Portugal
- 11:55Speaker 6: borders what country menace?
- 11:58Speaker 1: I mean technically you can say none. With the Azores
- 12:03Speaker 1: because it's all islands. So he's trying to he's trying
- 12:06Speaker 1: to walk his way out of this. But what what borders?
- 12:09Speaker 5: What if it did let's say Spain. Let's say Spain. Okay,
- 12:14Speaker 5: all right, Sammy Spain, Spain. Yeah, it's kind of that's
- 12:18Speaker 5: a large border with Spain. Its basically it's a chunk
- 12:21Speaker 5: of Spain's cut out.
- 12:22Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 12:22Speaker 1: I just like to shout out the Azores. What what?
- 12:24Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I lost faith and.
- 12:26Speaker 4: To shut out myself.
- 12:27Speaker 1: That's correct. That's just like the US borders. No country
- 12:31Speaker 1: because you know Hawaii.
- 12:34Speaker 4: All right?
- 12:35Speaker 6: Question number one for the d U i Q Portugal
- 12:38Speaker 6: borders what country South America?
- 12:41Speaker 4: Oh, like.
- 12:44Speaker 1: Columbia. Your favorite thing about Columbia is the women. Yeah, well,
- 12:51Speaker 1: there you go, Jeff, there you go. D U y
- 12:54Speaker 1: Q off to a off to a good start. So
- 12:57Speaker 1: that's uh, let's see one point for you have question
- 13:01Speaker 1: number two? Ready to roll in? What city would you
- 13:04Speaker 1: find heines Field? All right? In what city? Speaking of Portugal?
- 13:09Speaker 1: Good would you find heines Field? Now this is also
- 13:14Speaker 1: potentially a trick question. Okay, I see what you're saying there, Yes, yes,
- 13:20Speaker 1: but I think they're going to know it. I'm gonna
- 13:22Speaker 1: say yes for Sammy because she's not looking at your paper.
- 13:28Speaker 1: Menace is still looking down at his paper. So I'll
- 13:30Speaker 1: say yes for Sammy, no for Menace. I mean it
- 13:34Speaker 1: is a trick question. I believe yes for Sammy, Yes
- 13:37Speaker 1: for Menace, Uh, no for Andrew. I'll give you both
- 13:43Speaker 1: double points if you can tell what kind of what
- 13:44Speaker 1: kind of event was this that you found? Andrew?
- 13:47Speaker 4: Oh?
- 13:47Speaker 1: Just regular bar?
- 13:49Speaker 2: What part not not near? Well, I should not near
- 13:53Speaker 2: where the answer would be trick or.
- 13:55Speaker 1: Not be an answer?
- 13:59Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, with one hundred confidence. Yes to medas. I
- 14:06Speaker 4: will give Sammy a yes, but not as much confidence.
- 14:09Speaker 4: And no to Andrew.
- 14:11Speaker 9: Okay, Gina, Yeah, I have no idea what the answer
- 14:13Speaker 9: to this is. I have a guess, but I feel
- 14:15Speaker 9: so bad about my last guest. I'm gonna say yes
- 14:17Speaker 9: to medicine Sammy, and no to Andrew.
- 14:19Speaker 1: All right, Jeff, what do you think? Do you think
- 14:21Speaker 1: that he gets the question correct? Yes or no?
- 14:26Speaker 6: No?
- 14:26Speaker 1: We're going with no no.
- 14:28Speaker 2: Question number two d U I Q in what city
- 14:30Speaker 2: would you find Heines Shield Menace?
- 14:34Speaker 1: Pittsburgh? But you know, is it still heinz Field or
- 14:40Speaker 1: Sammy Pittsburgh. It's now Akraser Stadi Stadium. It's one of
- 14:44Speaker 1: those things like the Sears Tower like field from the
- 14:47Speaker 1: time it opened until just what two three years ago
- 14:51Speaker 1: someone I forget, but like, yeah, they still have the
- 14:54Speaker 1: Hind sign in the stadium though, Well, they have the
- 14:58Speaker 1: ketchup bottle that is now the Hind History Center or
- 15:01Speaker 1: did they bring it back down to the stadium they
- 15:03Speaker 1: had removed it. It was above the stand board. When
- 15:05Speaker 1: I walked I saw something Hines. Yeah. Well because people
- 15:08Speaker 1: flipped yeah as they do. It was cool. I mean yeah,
- 15:12Speaker 1: because they were into the Hines red zone. Yeah.
- 15:16Speaker 2: A lot a lot of times they'll take that. They'll
- 15:19Speaker 2: rename the field for the money. Then they'll say, yeah,
- 15:21Speaker 2: the pavilion is still the whatever.
- 15:23Speaker 1: Right. I think they took the ketchup bottle down to
- 15:26Speaker 1: the Hines I'm pretty sure. I have actory center.
- 15:28Speaker 4: By there for a while.
- 15:29Speaker 1: But when I walked by, there was question number two,
- 15:33Speaker 1: d U I Q. In what city would you find
- 15:35Speaker 1: Hines Shield, Let's say Chicago, And what do you love
- 15:40Speaker 1: the most about Hines Field in Chicago. I ain't nothing.
- 15:43Speaker 1: I've never been there. Well, Jeff, congratulations, you are the winner. Yeah,
- 15:56Speaker 1: stay at the office, man, A lot of hard work
- 15:58Speaker 1: there today. Jeff Man, thank you for listening to WI show.
- 16:01Speaker 1: Have yourself a great weekend. Hang on, so we get
- 16:03Speaker 1: all of your information. There's there's Jeff everybody gee right, jeez,
- 16:07Speaker 1: all right, going on, let him on hold, and then
- 16:10Speaker 1: we have a question number three, which Jeff did not need.
- 16:13Speaker 1: But but just you know, for funsies, here we go.
- 16:15Speaker 7: How many degrees are there in a circle?
- 16:18Speaker 1: All right, this I know on account of all of
- 16:22Speaker 1: the job and Dre Hommer you've been doing correct.
- 16:25Speaker 4: I was feeling so confident. Oh you know what, I'm
- 16:33Speaker 4: gonna sweep it with the same thing. Yes in the room.
- 16:36Speaker 4: No to Andrew. Oh, come on, you guys.
- 16:40Speaker 1: Come on, don't let me down. Sammy's looking pretty confident.
- 16:44Speaker 1: I'm gonna say yes to Sammy.
- 16:45Speaker 9: I can't really read MENACE's vibe. I'm gonna say no then,
- 16:49Speaker 9: so yes to Sammy, No to Andrew and Menace.
- 16:52Speaker 1: Andrew has shown us nothing. Yeah, but for some reason
- 16:56Speaker 1: I think that he gets this one party. But I
- 16:59Speaker 1: think could be a triple yes, sir. Yeah, I think
- 17:03Speaker 1: it could be triple yes. But I'll stick with no
- 17:06Speaker 1: for Andrew. Yes for Menace and Sam. Okay, all right,
- 17:09Speaker 1: all right, question number three for.
- 17:11Speaker 7: The d U I Q how many degrees are there
- 17:13Speaker 7: in a circle?
- 17:15Speaker 1: Menace three hundred and sixty Sammy three and sixty, three
- 17:19Speaker 1: hundred and sixty two. Yeah, it is brain juice time, yeah,
- 17:25Speaker 1: brains use it time. Yeah, all right, yeah, all right.
- 17:30Speaker 1: If we're looking at a compass, a compass is three
- 17:33Speaker 1: hundred and sixty degrees, if north is either zero or
- 17:37Speaker 1: three sixty, Uh, what would two seventy be? Oh, that's
- 17:42Speaker 1: a good question to seventy? Direction direction? Yeah, I'm using
- 17:48Speaker 1: this from flight training. Oh yeah, so on a heading
- 17:53Speaker 1: and two seven zero you were heading? Which direction?
- 17:56Speaker 7: That?
- 17:56Speaker 4: What that means?
- 17:57Speaker 1: That makes sense? Yeah? Head zero nine zero? Whatever?
- 18:02Speaker 2: You know?
- 18:02Speaker 1: We all guess yeah, well no, no, let's go for
- 18:05Speaker 1: a which which direction would be northwest? Okay, northwest? Sammy,
- 18:13Speaker 1: west west? It's directly west because zero ninety degrees east
- 18:18Speaker 1: one to eighty degrees south. What time would that be
- 18:20Speaker 1: on the clock?
- 18:20Speaker 4: Guys?
- 18:20Speaker 1: Yeah, what time would that be on? It's just the time, yeah,
- 18:24Speaker 1: the our time?
- 18:25Speaker 8: Right.
- 18:26Speaker 1: Nine.
- 18:27Speaker 4: If it was a piece of pie, how much of
- 18:29Speaker 4: the pilot I'm going until I get wrong?
- 18:32Speaker 1: Three quarters? Of the plos. He's killing it. Yeah yeah.
- 18:36Speaker 1: Question number, question number three for do you i q?
- 18:39Speaker 7: How many degrees are there in a circle?
- 18:42Speaker 8: Oh?
- 18:43Speaker 1: Three, uh three, so it's pie.
- 18:47Speaker 8: So that's three points.
- 18:53Speaker 1: Well that's how you play the do u i q?
- 18:56Speaker 4: I had a perfect game.
- 18:58Speaker 1: More shows, next thing, keep.
- 19:03Speaker 4: The WE show.
- 19:03Speaker 1: We'll be right back.