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5 Min Pocket Pep Talk: Listen When Being Disliked Feels Heavy · The Nadia Chapman Show

• 0:00
  Hi everyone, welcome to a brand new episode of the Nottie Chapman Show,
• 0:04
  the 5-Minute Pocket Pet Talk.
• 0:07
  Let's start by taking a deep breath, should we?
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  If you're listening to this right now, chances are someone doesn't like you.
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  That's okay. They didn't approve of you, or maybe they misunderstand you,
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  they judge you, they pulled away, they talked, and they made it clear,
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  you know, quietly or loudly, that you are not their cup of tea.
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  And I want to say this clearly, calmly, and with a lot of love.
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  That does not mean anything is wrong with you.
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  Here's the truth most people don't tell you. The moment that you become visible,
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  that you become honest and confident or comfortable being yourself,
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  not everyone will come along with you.
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  And that's not a flaw. That's a signal. You were never meant to be universally
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  loved, universally liked anyway.
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  If you were, you would have no edges. You would have no opinions.
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  You would not have any values or depth, no direction. And that's not who you
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  are. that's not who you were meant to be.
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  When someone doesn't like you, your brain will naturally try to make it personal, if I can say.
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  So it will replay conversations, rewrite moments, you know, ask,
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  what did I say? What did I did wrong?
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  Should I be quieter? Should I be nicer?
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  Should I please more? Should I be smaller?
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  And I want you to pause right there because shrinking yourself has never,
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  never created peace. It only creates resentment.
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  So here's something grounding that I want you to remember.
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  People don't react to you. They react to what you represent to them.
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  Could that be the writer downer for today? People don't react to you.
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  They react to what you represent to them. So sometimes you represent confidence
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  that they don't feel yet.
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  Sometimes you represent freedom that they don't allow themselves.
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  Sometimes you represent change or growth or truth, and that can feel threatening
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  to someone who feels kind of comfortable staying where they're at.
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  So that reaction belongs to them, not you.
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  Not everyone is equipped to meet you where you stand. And that's okay. Let it be okay.
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  You don't need to convince. You don't need to defend. You don't need to explain
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  your heart to someone committed to misunderstanding it.
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  Let them not like you. You will survive. It's okay.
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  It's not rejection. It's redirection. because if you think about this,
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  the people who truly move forward in life, the ones who create,
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  the people who are leading,
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  those people are almost never universally loved. They are respected.
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  Sure, they are impactful.
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  They are remembered, but loved by everyone out there. I don't think so.
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  And they don't need to be. Your job is not to be agreeable to everyone.
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  Your job is not to be playing small to make other people comfortable.
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  Your job is to be aligned. So here's your reset. I want you to ask yourself
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  three questions right now.
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  First one, am I being honest with myself?
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  Number two, am I acting from my values? And number three, am I showing up with integrity?
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  And if you answer yes to these questions, you're good. You're totally fine.
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  You don't lose worth because someone else maybe lacks capacity.
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  And you don't lose power because someone chooses distance.
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  And you certainly don't lose belonging because one person opts out.
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  What you lose, if you're not careful, is your energy when you chase approval.
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  And your energy is far too valuable for that.
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  So let this land with you. You are allowed to be disliked and still deeply worthy.
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  And you are allowed to walk away without fixing the story.
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  That's it. You don't need everyone to love you. You don't need everyone to like you.
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  You just need to like who you are becoming.
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  All right. And if today stings a little because something happened and somebody
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  doesn't like you, that's okay. That's human.
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  You can feel it. Then stand tall again. Because the people meant for you will
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  never require you to disappear in order to stay. Take one last breath.
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  And I want to leave you with this. You don't need to be liked in order to be
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  safe. And you don't need approval to move forward.
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  And don't say sorry to anyone for being yourself.
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  Thanks for listening. I'll catch you in the next podcast.