Latest / Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis / 009: Busy but Still Unfulfilled? The Question That Changes Everything

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009: Busy but Still Unfulfilled? The Question That Changes Everything · Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back.
• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Freddie Davis.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm the host of Limitless Living.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: This is your podcast if you are over 40, 50, 60, and beyond, where we get to talk about health and vibrancy and purpose and meaning and how you can reset those things, how you can reinvent your life, reset your health, and build success without burning yourself out or all be overwhelmed.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm Freddie Davis.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: I am your host.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: I've been at this a lot of decades and helping women for many, many decades through my wellness center and through all of my programs.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I am happy to have you join me.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Happy Saturday.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: And today is about reinvention.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Saturdays are really about passion and purpose and reinvention and the direction in your life and meaning.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Stop to pause.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself some of the deeper questions.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: And if you haven't yet, chances are you will at some point.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: These are the questions like, is this all there is?
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I just not feeling excited about things anymore?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Is this the life I really want?
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, am I living with purpose?
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Is this what I'm meant to be doing?
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: My destiny?
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe, you know, you're thinking, gosh, I'm so busy.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Have all I done is become busy, or am I really doing what I'm meant to do inside that busy?
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: So today I want to talk about, you know, something that I believe is one of the most important distinctions that we make in our life.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And that is the difference between a meaningful life and a busy life.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I know a little bit about busy.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: I I can relate with you if you're out there thinking, well, yeah, I'm busy.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: I understand completely.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: But here's what I've noticed, okay?
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I've noticed this in myself, I've noticed this in clients over the years.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, many years, when women first start talking about feeling stuck or overwhelmed, or like they're a little lost and they don't know what's next for themselves.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: They rarely say sentences or words like, I think my life is lacking meaning.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Although sometimes we do.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: What I hear more often that is this the sign is it's more of an I'm so exhausted all the time.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Or I just feel like I'm running all the time and getting almost nowhere, but just running.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I don't even know what I want anymore.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: I I can't remember all the things that make me happy.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: These are more of the sentences that they start to say to me in my office in our sessions, and it's really something deeper that's bringing that feeling into a woman's head or a woman's heart.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: So it's likely that your life, their lives, as I have heard so many before, have become incredibly busy.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, has your life become incredibly busy, but somewhere along the lines it stopped feeling truly meaningful?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe you can relate to this.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we live in this culture where busyness is so rewarded.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: We equate uh productivity with busyness.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: Busyness equals responsible, busyness means successful, and busyness can become a very effective distraction for you when maybe you have other things going on that need to be dealt with or or you know should be dealt with, but instead busyness takes you away from them.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: So when we're in this constant state of moving, and I mean just constant state of it, you know, we we've developed this attachment or this this almost belief that value is attached to busyness.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I can tell you, I have had to deal with recognizing this in myself over the years.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: So this is not something I'm new to.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're relating to this, you are in good company.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here with you.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a difference though, and between motion and meaning.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: So motion is activity.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's really all it is.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's schedules, it's deadlines, it's running the kids here, it's you know, running parents to doctor's appointments, it's planning your next whatever in your business, it's it's grocery shopping, it's responsibilities, it's deadlines, tasks, it's activity.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's what it is.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Busyness is activity.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Meaning is more alignment.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Meaning is where you really feel like you are doing what you're meant to do.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is working together.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: That means in your body, your head, your heart, your soul, and in your life, because that follows when that is working together.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's that sense that things filling your life actually matter and they matter to you.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Meaning when that drifts too far apart from the busyness, that's when people start feeling lost.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: So if you've started to feel lost or uninspired, or like you're just not getting the joy out of life anymore that you should, chances are you are misaligned and you've lost some of that meaning.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you are somebody, there's a lot of people I know out there who grew up, their parents pushed them one direction, they went that direction, they stayed in that direction.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it wasn't your parents, whatever, whoever it was, whatever it was, you went in one direction.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then maybe you weren't happy, but instead of changing course, you stayed and you stayed and you stayed because it's a badge of honor, right?
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: And there is a time to do that.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: But then we stayed and we got busier and we got busier and we filled the time with other things.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: We and then we had kids, and then we had, you know, aging parents, and then we get to this point, and boom, all of a sudden, you're you're realizing you're having this epiphany that wait a minute, this is not, I don't know, how did I get here?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're that person.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: I hear so many different things.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I've had these seasons in my life, I can tell you, where everything has looked successful from the outside.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: My business was running, clients were being served, and my family was thriving.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I looked like I was productive.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Inside, though, I can tell you, I could feel something was asking for attention and getting ignored.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: And these are the things that, you know, you've heard me talk if you've listened to any of the podcasts, where it begins as a whisper in your body.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: And we often ignore that, we push through, and then it becomes a loud scream when we don't.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: So this is often where reinvention starts to begin.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not that anything necessarily went wrong, it's just that something inside of you is desperately trying to evolve or wants to evolve, isn't sure how to, uh, you know, is maybe afraid to, but really still wants to evolve.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: You're evolving when you are feeling like this.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: So reinvention, it rarely begins with a dramatic decision all of a sudden.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: It can, but it's less common.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: It usually begins more with a question like, what matters most to me now?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I now?
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Who have I become?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Is this who I want to be?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: What do I want for the next chapter in my life?
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: What, you know, what kind of life am I actually building?
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Is this what I really wanted?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes those questions they start to lead to changes.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: So these are the big ones too, sometimes, and sometimes they're the small ones.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, so I want to offer you something simple today.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: A small framework that you can check with whether you know your life is in alignment with meaning, with your sense of purpose and where you want to be, or whether it's just simply filled with too much busyness, too much motion.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself these five questions.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm gonna give you today.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: One, what gives me energy?
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: So pay attention to the moments in your life that energize you rather than drain you.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: These are the moments that are gonna point you towards purpose.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: These are the moments gonna make you feel like you can get lost in them.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: They're the moments that are gonna bring you joy, the moments you're gonna be excited or look forward to.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: What are those moments that are in your life that are happening that really light you up?
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's a sign.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Now, number two, what feels meaningful to me?
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to ask yourself that.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: What feels meaningful to me?
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: This can be anything, and meaning is personal to everyone, it might be serving others.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: That feels meaningful to me.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's one of mine, that's why my entire career is about serving others.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it might be creating something, that's another one that's meaningful to me.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: I love to create things, that's why you see me creating this podcast now.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's one of the very reasons because it lights me up to do this, and it is in alignment with my sense of purpose and meaning in life, just as an example.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: This isn't what you need to do, so please don't take that as um a recommendation or or what you need to do.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: But if it inspires you, I want you to have examples here.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: So when you're asking yourself, what does meaningful mean to me?
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Think about these things.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: It does it mean helping people grow, does it mean supporting your family?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Does it mean growing a garden?
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: What does it mean?
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: So, so I want you to ask yourself, what is meaning to me?
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: So, meaning is very, very personal.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: I can share with you for me, my life has meaning by what I do in my family.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: The way that I've raised my daughter gives me meaning, leaving her in this next generation.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: I have meaning, and I know many of you relate to that one.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: I am my entire career, I have built around serving others, and that gives me meaning.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: This entire podcast is meant to do that.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: That is meaning to me.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's meaningful.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's meaningful to me if I can inspire or lift another person up.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's meaningful to me.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so that's those are my examples.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: What are yours?
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: This meaningful could mean that you are creating a nonprofit organization.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: It could mean that you are creating a beautiful home for your family.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: It does not have to be big and grandeur.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: What does it mean to you?
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's very, very individual.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then creating something, how about that?
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Does it could be that?
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like that is one of mine.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to give you that as an example.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: So creating things that may or may not live on past my lifetime and give inspiration and meaning to others, that is meaningful to me.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Now, creating something could mean you find it meaningful and joyous to create a garden, to grow a garden.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: It could be to raise your children, it could be to create a beautiful home, it could be any of these different things.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: So, how about helping people grow or supporting your family?
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: There's many different things.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: How about art?
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: Does art feel meaningful to you?
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: That qualifies.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter what it is.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's this individual, very personal, and I want you to think along those lines.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: But identifying what meaningful means to you specifically will help guide your direction.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: You need to have some markers there.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: So again, that not that first question about what lights you up, that will help you find what is meaningful for you.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's an indicator.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: So number three, what am I doing simply out of habit?
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: So that's a lot of things, right?
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: We simply do a lot of things out of habit.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's watching TV too many hours a day, or scrolling too many hours a day, or procrastinating on something constantly because it's become a habit to do that.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Many people live large portions of their life on autopilot.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: What is a habit for you?
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: Pausing to examine where you are on autopilot can show you patterns that can open new possibilities when you shift those patterns.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: So that's a very eye-opening question.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: Take the time to think about that.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, it can be different from day to day, week to week, but usually there are these little underlying things that we just are on autopilot all the time.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Mean small, meaningful steps in the right direction that lead to what that is for you, what your next chapter looks like.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it can mean just adjusting the course versus this big giant overhaul.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: So don't let this overwhelm you.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, number four, what do I want my next chapter to look like?
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to ask yourself this because it's just like when we get in the car.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if you didn't have a vision of where you were headed next or the address or something, you would not really get to where it is you intend to go, right?
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: Or or you need to go or want to go.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's very much like that.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't take the time to think about what is next for you in your next chapter, then how can you possibly adjust your course to get there?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: And and reinvention and creating, even if it's not full reinvention, your best next chapter, that does not have to mean that you do this complete start over and this big overhaul and this overwhelming life, you know, change of any sort.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: It can really just mean that you're adjusting course.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where often the biggest magic happens to get you to your next chapter is small, quick, sustainable steps that adjust the course repeatedly and consistently.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: So these are things I teach in my programs.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I've seen it over and over again, experienced it and seen it.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: So number five, what small change would bring you closer to alignment?
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: So you want to ask yourself this what small change would bring me closer to alignment in myself?
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now, reinvention often starts with very small shifts.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: One new habit, one new boundary that you set, one honest conversation with somebody, one you know, habitual change, that's where it starts.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: So recently, inside the whole woman wellness circle, my membership community, we go deeper in there, a lot deeper into things, and we spent a few weeks actually exploring this whole concept and topic much more deeply.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: And the difference between a life that is simply full and a life that truly is meaningful.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: So the conversations that that came out of that were very powerful with each person.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I wanted to bring a piece of the conversation to you today on this podcast, because I think many women are navigating this exact moment in their lives.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: And and again, it's you know, when we hit those 40s, 50s, and beyond, we're still asking ourselves that.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is a different world, but it's never too late to begin things.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: And we often get to that point where we're questioning the meaning and we're questioning what we're doing, and we're looking forward and we don't know what's next.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: So if this conversation has resonated with you, if these questions are getting your juices flowing and having you think, and you know somebody else who might benefit from hearing this, please share this podcast with her.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: And join our limitless living group.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: This is a free group that I have that that continues these conversations as well.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: And we talk about everything from wellness to reinvention and building a life and a business and success that actually feels good to you at this stage, especially in life.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll put the sh I'll put the link in the show notes.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to have you come join us there.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: So the goal of life is not simply to stay busy, it is not simply to stay busy.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: The goal is to build a life that feels meaningful and joyous.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes the first step towards that life, it really begins with something very, very simple.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that's asking yourself enough of the right questions and giving yourself enough time to think about them, answer, and really get in touch with yourself.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: That means pushing pause, push your pause button long enough to go inward and and think about these things.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: So if today's conversation resonated with you, again, please share it with somebody else who might need it.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: And if and give us a review, we'd love to have your review.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: If you'd like to continue the conversation, please join the free limitless living uh community.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: Check out the link below.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, remember that your life is allowed to evolve.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's meant to evolve.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be all figured out all at once.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes reinvention is simply the process of becoming more fully who you already are.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Not changing who you are, getting back in touch with who you are.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time.