Latest / The Ben Maller Show / The Fifth Hour: Time to Rub Elbows

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The Fifth Hour: Time to Rub Elbows · The Ben Maller Show

0:00
Speaker 1: Kabooms.
0:02
Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
0:05
Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
0:09
Speaker 2: of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
0:12
Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
0:15
Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
0:17
Speaker 1: Wow.
0:18
Speaker 2: The clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
0:22
Speaker 2: The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallor starts right now.
0:28
Speaker 1: In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with me, Ben Malor,
0:34
Speaker 1: as we hang out together on this Saturday, not just
0:38
Speaker 1: any Saturday. It is the twenty fifth day of April,
0:41
Speaker 1: and today is the day we've been counting down, counting down.
0:45
Speaker 1: This is the one hundred and fifteenth day of the year.
0:47
Speaker 1: There are three hundred and sixty five days in a year,
0:49
Speaker 1: but the one hundred and fifteenth day of the year
0:51
Speaker 1: is the day of the big Malor Meet and Greet.
0:54
Speaker 1: More on that in a minute. But later on in Newport, Kentucky,
0:59
Speaker 1: from two till five o'clock, we will be getting together,
1:02
Speaker 1: hanging out, having some fun there, looking forward to the
1:06
Speaker 1: big event, the first Malard Meet and Greet of twenty
1:10
Speaker 1: twenty six. While reminding you it is world Penguin Day today,
1:14
Speaker 1: very important, the flightless birds, the penguin World Penguin Day today.
1:19
Speaker 1: It is also what else is we have a bunch
1:21
Speaker 1: of dope holidays. It it's National Hug of Plumber Day,
1:25
Speaker 1: very important to hug a plumber, which goes all the
1:27
Speaker 1: way back. The plumbing started allegedly with the Romans. I
1:31
Speaker 1: don't know. I likely started way before that, who knows,
1:34
Speaker 1: but the wealthy Roman rulers they put together a system
1:39
Speaker 1: of aqueducts and they were able to deliver water through
1:43
Speaker 1: pipes and tunnels and canals and bridges in three hundred BC.
1:48
Speaker 1: But it was not until the fifteen hundreds where we
1:53
Speaker 1: had the first flushable toilet that was created by the
1:58
Speaker 1: godson of Queen Elizabeth, the first modern fleshible toilet. And
2:04
Speaker 1: then the first indoor plumbing installed at a hotel was
2:08
Speaker 1: in the eighteen hundreds at the Tremont Hotel over in
2:13
Speaker 1: Boston allegedly, so I guess they didn't do that in England.
2:18
Speaker 1: They only did it in Boston anyway. So it's National
2:21
Speaker 1: Hug a Plumber's Day today. So if you know a plumber,
2:23
Speaker 1: make sure to hug them. It's e Or's birthday today,
2:27
Speaker 1: Happy Birthday or I'm not sure how old ere is
2:29
Speaker 1: because e R is not real. It's Manny Petty Day today,
2:34
Speaker 1: so you can celebrate that. I mean, there's a bunch
2:37
Speaker 1: of the endless amounts of these days. It's National Zucchini
2:41
Speaker 1: bread Day. I believe I will abstain from celebrating that.
2:45
Speaker 1: And a day that we've talked about many times over
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Speaker 1: the years that would be license plate Day, a day
2:52
Speaker 1: to celebrate those small metal plates that each car has
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Speaker 1: its own number, its own identity stands out. There are
3:01
Speaker 1: no two plates the same in each individual state. It
3:05
Speaker 1: does not exist that way. But there you go, so
3:09
Speaker 1: you can celebrate that as well. We begin though on
3:13
Speaker 1: this we've got rub elbows and sitting shiva kind of
3:19
Speaker 1: so out of nowhere, like a spam email that somehow
3:24
Speaker 1: made it past the filter. How did that happen? So
3:28
Speaker 1: I get this message a publicist slid into my inbox
3:33
Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, now I get pitched a lot.
3:35
Speaker 1: I for years ran a website. It's been a long time.
3:38
Speaker 1: It's probably been ah man, I don't even know how
3:42
Speaker 1: many years I have. Fifteen years since I stopped doing that.
3:44
Speaker 1: I'm still getting email from NASCAR people. I'm getting email
3:47
Speaker 1: from publicists pitching me on ideas, people selling books, they
3:51
Speaker 1: want to come on the podcast, they want to get
3:53
Speaker 1: written up. I don't have the website anymore. So I
3:56
Speaker 1: get this email that again, it felt like it squeezed
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Speaker 1: past the spam filter, and it was a publicist that's
4:03
Speaker 1: in my inbox, giving me the opportunity for my own
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Speaker 1: golden ticket. You get a golden ticket, you get a
4:10
Speaker 1: golden take. It an invite to someone called the America
4:15
Speaker 1: First Correspondence Dinner in Washington, DC. So I looked at this.
4:22
Speaker 1: I said, well, this is clearly a mistake. Why would
4:26
Speaker 1: I get this? And so I kind of paused there.
4:29
Speaker 1: I said, well, wait a minute. Here. I did the
4:32
Speaker 1: double take, not the discount double take. I did the
4:34
Speaker 1: double take, like, who what? How did I end up
4:38
Speaker 1: getting this email? This must be a mistake. And this
4:41
Speaker 1: is not my usual sandbox. My usual sandbox is to
4:45
Speaker 1: goof on quarterbacks and rip baseball players and things like that.
4:49
Speaker 1: I'm not exactly working the Beltway cocktail circuit. Even if
4:53
Speaker 1: I lived there, I wouldn't do that. I'm not the
4:55
Speaker 1: social butterfly. I realized I'm about to go to this
4:57
Speaker 1: mall of me greet But anyway, I'm not got a
5:00
Speaker 1: social butterfly, so I'm not going out and glad handing
5:04
Speaker 1: with the folks over in Georgetown, like I'm going to
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Speaker 1: pretend to give a rats ass about seating charts and
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Speaker 1: shrimp cocktail and all that stuff. None of it. So anyways, like, okay,
5:19
Speaker 1: so this must be a mistake, but I did my
5:21
Speaker 1: homework and apparently it's legit. It gave me black tie vibes,
5:27
Speaker 1: power players, media types walking around like they're extras in
5:32
Speaker 1: a political drama, O rama that has gotten reviewed for
5:38
Speaker 1: way too many seasons. So the same night as the
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Speaker 1: Washington DC the White House Correspondence Dinner, which, lets be
5:47
Speaker 1: honest here jump the shark years ago and now lives
5:51
Speaker 1: on its own hype like a washed up rock band
5:54
Speaker 1: playing at the County Fair. And you think about, at
5:57
Speaker 1: one point, if you worked for the Washington host of
6:00
Speaker 1: the New York Times, the Boston Globe or the LA Times,
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Speaker 1: my god, you were so important. Now, eh, my overnight
6:10
Speaker 1: radio show has more of a reach than the La Times.
6:12
Speaker 1: I have a larger distribution, more people hear what I
6:16
Speaker 1: say in the middle of the night than the Mighty
6:18
Speaker 1: La Times for example. Anyways, all these people get together
6:21
Speaker 1: and they hang out and they talk about the good
6:23
Speaker 1: old days, back when people were they air doing their
6:26
Speaker 1: thing and all that, and they like, Okay, that's fine, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.
6:33
Speaker 1: And so the reason I bring this up is, you know,
6:38
Speaker 1: I was I was like okay. So for a brief second,
6:41
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I thought about, well, maybe I
6:43
Speaker 1: should I should respond here. And you know, first time
6:47
Speaker 1: ever I've been invited to d C for a social event,
6:53
Speaker 1: and I was like, well, I could go there and
6:54
Speaker 1: I could rub elbows with people that got elected because
6:59
Speaker 1: of big corporations paying for them to get elected, and
7:03
Speaker 1: I could hang out, rub elbows, shake hands, eat some
7:06
Speaker 1: expensive food that I didn't have to pay for, and
7:10
Speaker 1: I could pretend like I like it. I said, oh yeah,
7:12
Speaker 1: I love that, Yes, oh yes. I Meanwhile, I'm puking
7:16
Speaker 1: on the side of the table. I could smile for
7:19
Speaker 1: these people that I'm sure I will never talk to again. However,
7:23
Speaker 1: then reality tap me on the shoulder, tap tap a
7:30
Speaker 1: that's not my scene, and b I'm already booked up.
7:33
Speaker 1: You see today this Saturday is the event. And it
7:39
Speaker 1: turns out that I'll be four hundred miles away. Well,
7:44
Speaker 1: I am four hundred miles away from the event in DC.
7:49
Speaker 1: There's something better, something real, something authentic. No velvet rope,
7:55
Speaker 1: no fake canned laughter, no networking disguised as conversation, just
8:00
Speaker 1: the Mallor meet and greet. Here in Newport, Kentucky, it's
8:05
Speaker 1: Strong's Brick Oven Pizzeria. The Mallard Militia expected to be
8:09
Speaker 1: here in force. These are the people that actually show up.
8:13
Speaker 1: A lot of you call the show. Some of you
8:16
Speaker 1: don't participate on social media. However, you all live this
8:20
Speaker 1: thing enough to want to come out and hang out
8:22
Speaker 1: with us. And here's the truth. Like those DC dinners,
8:27
Speaker 1: not that I've ever been the one. I have friends
8:30
Speaker 1: in the media that do political stuff, and they have
8:32
Speaker 1: gone to those things. From what I understand, they're just theater.
8:36
Speaker 1: Everyone's playing a role, everyone's auditioning for relevance. Now this
8:42
Speaker 1: this Mallard Militia meet and greet, the Mallard get together.
8:45
Speaker 1: This is the opposite. There's no pr approved talking points,
8:50
Speaker 1: no handlers, no publicists, there's no script. Yeah. So the
8:55
Speaker 1: the invite again was surprising, it was almost flattering. It
9:01
Speaker 1: was one of those like did they mean to send
9:04
Speaker 1: this to me? Like that kind of thing. But turning
9:08
Speaker 1: it down was not hard because I was listen. That's part.
9:11
Speaker 1: That part was easy because I'd much rather break bread
9:14
Speaker 1: or pizza with you who are part of my world,
9:19
Speaker 1: even though I might not know you, because you know,
9:22
Speaker 1: it's a weird relationship, your eavesdropping in on on the
9:26
Speaker 1: audio world and all that stuff. The people in DC
9:29
Speaker 1: chasing clout and I live in a town in LA
9:31
Speaker 1: where people just chase clout all the time. And I'm
9:34
Speaker 1: good on that. I'm good, I'm I'm I'm okay. And
9:38
Speaker 1: I also hate being in room with people where they're
9:40
Speaker 1: like they'll talk to you like they're really engaged, and
9:43
Speaker 1: then they're looking around for somebody who's a bigger name.
9:45
Speaker 1: There was a woman that worked with the Dodgers, and
9:49
Speaker 1: I will not reveal her name, but she was that way.
9:51
Speaker 1: She was kind of a media person and she'd chat
9:55
Speaker 1: and whatever, and I don't like really small talk, but
9:57
Speaker 1: she'd just talk about the team or whatever, and she
9:59
Speaker 1: was always her eyes were always moving back and forth
10:02
Speaker 1: looking for a bigger name, like an executive or someone else,
10:06
Speaker 1: and that she could just kind of go up to
10:08
Speaker 1: in finesse a little bit du little finessing, And so
10:12
Speaker 1: I always knew that. Okay, so this is this is
10:14
Speaker 1: gonna be all right. You talk to me until you
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Speaker 1: find someone who's a bigger name. Gotcha, Okay, thank you
10:20
Speaker 1: very much, outstanding. So I again will not be attending.
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Speaker 1: I guess that's the JV level correspondence dinner. It's not
10:28
Speaker 1: the actual White House correspondence dinner again. It is something
10:31
Speaker 1: called what is the name of it here, the American
10:34
Speaker 1: First Correspondence Dinner, which is for under represented media like
10:39
Speaker 1: overnight radio people and weekend podcasters that have tremendous influence.
10:45
Speaker 1: And I've always said, now a lot of you know
10:47
Speaker 1: where I am politically and all that I'm not very political,
10:50
Speaker 1: you know where I am. I would love to hang
10:52
Speaker 1: out with the president. I think that would be great,
10:53
Speaker 1: whether it's President Trump or or any of them. You
10:57
Speaker 1: could go down the list. It'd be pretty cool, pretty
11:01
Speaker 1: cool to hang out with someone who had their their
11:04
Speaker 1: finger close to the button that could have ended all
11:06
Speaker 1: of this. All of this, meanwhile, we move on, and
11:11
Speaker 1: I wanted to share this story. I was thinking about
11:13
Speaker 1: this quite a bit this week because it was just
11:15
Speaker 1: hilarious and it was one of those moments in life
11:19
Speaker 1: when you think you're like, I'm doing my own thing, right,
11:23
Speaker 1: I'm living my own story, and then and then you're like, well, no, no, no, no,
11:26
Speaker 1: I'm accidentally I've wandered into an episode in this case
11:29
Speaker 1: of Curb your Enthusiasm. And no, you're not Larry David.
11:34
Speaker 1: You're not Larry David. You are just a confused extra
11:39
Speaker 1: holding a plate looking for some silverware in the back
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Speaker 1: of the room, is what you are. And this would
11:46
Speaker 1: be one of those moments. So I have some eclectic
11:49
Speaker 1: group of people that are in my world, friends in radio,
11:54
Speaker 1: radio pals, survivors in broadcasting. And one of my friends
11:58
Speaker 1: who I've never actually met in person is Jerry Coleman
12:00
Speaker 1: Sports with Coleman, Baltimore radio lifer, a renaissance man who
12:06
Speaker 1: treats the press box buffet like an Orioles game or
12:10
Speaker 1: a Ravens game, like a Michelin start dining experience. And
12:16
Speaker 1: Jerry and he's been around a long time, and he's
12:18
Speaker 1: eating a lot of press box food and he knows
12:20
Speaker 1: what's good and what's bad, and the food's not as
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Speaker 1: good as it used to be, and so he'll shame
12:23
Speaker 1: the teams for serving substandard food. So Jerry starts texting
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Speaker 1: me photos. Now that's not unusual. That's not unusual, right,
12:34
Speaker 1: And so Jerry's been sending me food photos for many,
12:37
Speaker 1: many years. Crab cakes, carved meats, you know, stuff I
12:41
Speaker 1: won't eat, you won't want this. And he'll also send
12:45
Speaker 1: me photos of like steak well done, pointing out that's
12:48
Speaker 1: the improper way to make the steak desserts that will
12:53
Speaker 1: look like they were engineered by someone at NASA that
12:56
Speaker 1: lost their job at NASSA and said, Okay, here's what
12:58
Speaker 1: i'm gonna do. I'm going to I'm then designed cupcakes.
13:02
Speaker 1: So the fact that Jerry's sending me photos, you know,
13:07
Speaker 1: texting me photos, this is his brand, this is his
13:11
Speaker 1: friendship language. It's also probably a cry for help. However,
13:16
Speaker 1: this time something was a little off. I see these
13:19
Speaker 1: photos and I think, okay, whatever. The lighting a little different,
13:24
Speaker 1: a little softer, more solemn lighting, and the plate compensation
13:31
Speaker 1: what's the word. Yeah, the way the plates were lined
13:33
Speaker 1: up and all this stuff, it was next level. You know,
13:37
Speaker 1: he's sending me the photo there was some Baba go Noosse.
13:39
Speaker 1: That's what led to him sending me this was the
13:41
Speaker 1: photo of Baba Ganoosh and I mentioned Baba Ganoosh on
13:45
Speaker 1: a nightly basis. On the overnight there were chicken skewers
13:50
Speaker 1: aligned like they were in the Olympics and they were
13:53
Speaker 1: taking part in the synchronized swimming. You had pasta that
13:57
Speaker 1: was soaking, like in a hot tub of vodka, sauce
14:03
Speaker 1: that was glistening and just just great. And then the
14:07
Speaker 1: garlic bread stacked with the kind of integrity archaeological integrity
14:16
Speaker 1: that you would expect to see, you know, at some museum.
14:19
Speaker 1: They had the cheese tray that I think could have
14:22
Speaker 1: worked out a piece deal, some kind of peace treaty
14:26
Speaker 1: in the Middle East. And and you know, Jerry's sending
14:29
Speaker 1: me this. You know, just here's everything. You know, the
14:33
Speaker 1: dessert tray, the whole thing like that needed zoning permits,
14:36
Speaker 1: and so I I what is going on here? You know,
14:41
Speaker 1: back and forth on the text, and he's like shiver,
14:45
Speaker 1: you know, sitting shiva. You know what that is. It's
14:47
Speaker 1: a tradition when someone passes away, you get together, you
14:51
Speaker 1: eat some food, you tell some stories about the person
14:54
Speaker 1: and all that stuff, and you help the morning process.
14:57
Speaker 1: So I don't know what you do when you hear shiva.
15:03
Speaker 1: I do not immediately think open bar pastrami, sandwich, is
15:07
Speaker 1: chicken skewers. I don't I think. And I've actually done
15:11
Speaker 1: this getting older, people have died, and I've sat shiva
15:15
Speaker 1: for people in my world. And normally it's at someone's home.
15:19
Speaker 1: It's rather quiet. There's some folding chairs wrapped around the sofa.
15:23
Speaker 1: You're not allowed to talk loudly, no TV. You got
15:26
Speaker 1: a whisper. Maybe they give you some bagels and some locks.
15:30
Speaker 1: Possibly if things get really wild, they'll give you some locks.
15:33
Speaker 1: Just otherwise, just some regular everything bagels and that's it.
15:37
Speaker 1: So Jerry's sending me these photos and describing what appears
15:42
Speaker 1: to be the super Bowl of sitting shiva in terms
15:45
Speaker 1: of the spread. And this is where things take a turn,
15:49
Speaker 1: because now I'm not just observing from Afar, I'm evaluating,
15:53
Speaker 1: I'm ranking. I'm mentally comparing this to the weddings bar
15:56
Speaker 1: Mitzvah's I've attended, where the chicken was more of the
16:02
Speaker 1: type of thing you would see in your kitchen sink,
16:05
Speaker 1: the sponge, the just horrific, right, sponge with a little
16:10
Speaker 1: salt on top. Well, that doesn't sound good, That doesn't
16:14
Speaker 1: seem good anyway. Now let me say this clearly for
16:17
Speaker 1: those who barely paying attention, bad job by you. The
16:22
Speaker 1: shiva sitting Shiva spread. This had the infrastructure of the
16:28
Speaker 1: greatest city you could possibly imagine and was just so
16:31
Speaker 1: much better than almost every catered event. The only thing
16:34
Speaker 1: I could compare it to would be the Stanley Cup
16:36
Speaker 1: Final when the Kings were in there back to back,
16:39
Speaker 1: well not back to back, it was two out of
16:41
Speaker 1: three years they won the Stanley Cup and we got
16:42
Speaker 1: to go to those. It was great and the spread
16:45
Speaker 1: was amazing. The spread was amazing. This reminded me of that.
16:49
Speaker 1: You got chicken skewers, as we said, pasta, the garlic bread,
16:52
Speaker 1: the little pastrami sandwiches, just wonderful, just great. Just the chicken,
16:57
Speaker 1: the pasta, and the pastrami. That right there is the
17:00
Speaker 1: three that's comedy. You're throwing the garlic bread now and
17:03
Speaker 1: now it's even better. That's a full meal. And then
17:07
Speaker 1: he pointed out the cheese tray, the dessert tray, the
17:09
Speaker 1: open bar. Let me repeat that open bar at a
17:12
Speaker 1: Shiva open bar. Who approved that? Was there a comedee?
17:17
Speaker 1: Was there some kind of vote? Did someone say, you know,
17:19
Speaker 1: you know what would really honor the dearly deceased? Who's
17:23
Speaker 1: crossed over the pearly gates, top shelf tequila and a
17:26
Speaker 1: little vodka. Who says no? Who says no? And I'm thinking, Wow,
17:33
Speaker 1: what a wonderful way to go out. We're all gonna
17:35
Speaker 1: check out, and what a great way to say, hey,
17:38
Speaker 1: remember me, here's an amazing night of food. So now
17:41
Speaker 1: I'm spiraling because I'm thinking about the etiquette. I'm thinking
17:45
Speaker 1: about the timing of this. I'm thinking about like Larry
17:49
Speaker 1: David pacing in the living room, whispering, is it too
17:52
Speaker 1: soon for seconds? Do I have to wait for everyone
17:55
Speaker 1: to eat for seconds? Now? My man Jerry informs me,
18:00
Speaker 1: casually explaining it like he's going over the way to
18:04
Speaker 1: get to Camden Yards. Just the traffic, where to go?
18:06
Speaker 1: You gotta take that side street, don't use your GPS,
18:09
Speaker 1: it'll take you the wrong way. The whole thing, and
18:12
Speaker 1: he points out and really intribute I think more to
18:14
Speaker 1: Larry David than anything in that famous episode of Curb
18:17
Speaker 1: Your Enthusiasm. I'd forget the name of it. The key, though,
18:21
Speaker 1: is to get out of this Shiva thing before any
18:24
Speaker 1: kind of prayers service begins. Right, you got to get
18:26
Speaker 1: out of that. You're there for the food, you're there
18:27
Speaker 1: to mingle, and there's always a window, there's a sweet spot.
18:31
Speaker 1: There's a narrow, delicate, likely morally questionable window that you enter.
18:39
Speaker 1: You pay your respects, you survey the buffet like a
18:43
Speaker 1: recon mission, like you're in the Navy seals and you're like,
18:48
Speaker 1: all right, let me look around here, and then this
18:49
Speaker 1: is very important here you have to execute the exit. Now.
18:53
Speaker 1: I know you're sitting shivabou. This is the Irish goodbye though.
18:55
Speaker 1: If you leave too early, though, you look opportunistic. If
18:59
Speaker 1: you leave too late, you're locked into the full event.
19:03
Speaker 1: And there's that sweet spot right in the middle. All right,
19:07
Speaker 1: that's the Goldilock zone. When you're at one of these events,
19:12
Speaker 1: that's when you get out of there. And so this
19:14
Speaker 1: is where I turned my you know, turn on myself
19:17
Speaker 1: a little bit, because it's often what I do. I
19:20
Speaker 1: started wondering, like, would I have the discipline if I
19:23
Speaker 1: was at this thing. I was like, you know, that's
19:25
Speaker 1: some really good food. I'd be like, all right, I'm
19:27
Speaker 1: gonna stick around here. I shouldn't leave. And I'm like, well, no,
19:31
Speaker 1: the whole point is to get in and get out.
19:33
Speaker 1: This is the food looked so good. I was like,
19:35
Speaker 1: I'm gonna linger. I'm like, okay, I'm gonna rationalize this.
19:38
Speaker 1: I would say things like I should really try the
19:40
Speaker 1: pastrami again, just to make sure that my initial belief
19:45
Speaker 1: in that sandwich is the proper belief. I got to
19:48
Speaker 1: redo my assessment and do the garlic bread because I
19:53
Speaker 1: love garlic and I love bread and all that stuff.
19:55
Speaker 1: And I'm sure the garlic bread would whisper abad don't
20:00
Speaker 1: leave me behind, and uh and and I would end
20:03
Speaker 1: up staying. I would end up staying. And so you know,
20:05
Speaker 1: Jerry meanwhile, you know, sending me these glamour shots, these
20:08
Speaker 1: thirst traps of food at a memorial gathering, and I'm like, well,
20:13
Speaker 1: who does that? My guy sports with Coleman. That's that's
20:17
Speaker 1: my guy, right. You know. It takes time to adjust
20:20
Speaker 1: the angle, so the the glistening on the the vodka
20:24
Speaker 1: sauce and the pasta is just right. The lighting is
20:26
Speaker 1: perfect there, and it's just is there any pine here?
20:30
Speaker 1: Is there is there any uh? You know, is there
20:31
Speaker 1: spaghetti and meatballs? Do we have anything else? Do we
20:34
Speaker 1: have to document any other food that is here? And uh?
20:38
Speaker 1: And and I get it because if all funeral food
20:41
Speaker 1: that there's this old line funeral potatoes. Uh. You know,
20:45
Speaker 1: if all funeral food looked like this event this, you know,
20:50
Speaker 1: sitting ship of thing, we would have a societal problem.
20:54
Speaker 1: We would I'll say about this. When I was coming
20:56
Speaker 1: in the studio, we would have people showing up with
20:59
Speaker 1: very vague connections like I once worked with his cousin.
21:04
Speaker 1: I think I saw her at a Starbucks. We were
21:07
Speaker 1: emotionally aligned, and we'd have a movie, a spinoff movie
21:13
Speaker 1: of Wedding Crashers, now Wedding Crashers iconics, old movie with
21:19
Speaker 1: Vince Vaughan and pal and classic old school comedy. They
21:25
Speaker 1: don't make movies like that anymore. Think of it Shiva Crashers.
21:30
Speaker 1: And I've been to enough funerals where nobody checks your
21:34
Speaker 1: ID to make sure that you're supposed to be there,
21:38
Speaker 1: Nobody asks questions. That's not a place you ask questions.
21:41
Speaker 1: You're there to mourn. You don't need to do a
21:45
Speaker 1: background check and have the FBI investigate you. You're just
21:50
Speaker 1: kind of there and you're doing your thing. You walk
21:52
Speaker 1: in with the solemn face and hopefully you haven't eaten
21:56
Speaker 1: in a while, you got a good appetite, and suddenly
21:58
Speaker 1: you're holding the plate and you're nodding and you're telling
22:01
Speaker 1: stories and all that stuff. And it is true. I
22:06
Speaker 1: had a buddy of mine snuck into Wilt Chamberlain's funeral,
22:10
Speaker 1: just showed up and said, I'm here to more and
22:12
Speaker 1: I know you know so and so and all that,
22:15
Speaker 1: and I know, like if that sounds terrible and all this,
22:19
Speaker 1: and you know it's the whole thing. It's not supposed
22:22
Speaker 1: to work that way. However, in the world that we
22:25
Speaker 1: live in today's world, here a world where you know,
22:30
Speaker 1: my friend is texting me photos of a cheese tray
22:34
Speaker 1: at a shiva, and I'm sitting there thinking, uh, man,
22:38
Speaker 1: and I'm not a big cheese and crackers guy, but
22:40
Speaker 1: that that looks very approachable, very approachable. And now I'm
22:47
Speaker 1: starting to judge the details, like the small little details.
22:50
Speaker 1: I'm like, what am I doing? And I will in
22:53
Speaker 1: the future, when I attend more of these events, I
22:56
Speaker 1: will have this as the standard, you know, go to
23:01
Speaker 1: a wedding, step it up. Corporate function. Come on, those
23:06
Speaker 1: sandwiches are not up to par. If this event has
23:10
Speaker 1: an open bar, what are we doing? So in the end,
23:14
Speaker 1: I come back to this. You know, life is strange,
23:18
Speaker 1: famous song. You know people are strange. Life is strange.
23:20
Speaker 1: It's unpredictable, and every once in a while it's mildly inappropriate,
23:26
Speaker 1: mildly inappropriate. And sometimes when you least expect it, you'll
23:30
Speaker 1: go to an event to mourn and you'll get delicious chickens,
23:34
Speaker 1: heres and pasta drowned in vodka sauce. And that's it,
23:40
Speaker 1: and that's it, and you know why not. I don't
23:43
Speaker 1: know if Jerry took a doggie bag. I believe he
23:45
Speaker 1: was planning on taking a doggie bag. Don't know if
23:48
Speaker 1: he actually did take the doggie bag. Not sure about that. Wild,
23:53
Speaker 1: absolutely wild. And again I want to circle back here
23:55
Speaker 1: because whoever this was, and I don't know this person
23:57
Speaker 1: at all, whoever died, what a wonderful final act. It's like, listen,
24:02
Speaker 1: I'm done, I'm out of here. Let me celebrate life
24:05
Speaker 1: for those that are still around, and I'm gonna have
24:08
Speaker 1: this most amazing experience for you, and I will not
24:11
Speaker 1: eat any of it because I'm dead, but you can
24:13
Speaker 1: have all of this delicious food. It's just going to
24:15
Speaker 1: be wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. Why not? And
24:20
Speaker 1: that was that And hopefully today and I know this
24:23
Speaker 1: is not a cater event. You go buy your own food,
24:25
Speaker 1: a right, buy your own food at the pizza place
24:28
Speaker 1: we're going to be at in Newport, Kentucky two o'clock
24:31
Speaker 1: this afternoon, in beautiful Newport, Kentucky. Hopefully going to the
24:35
Speaker 1: Reds game tonight. Not sure about that. We'll see how
24:38
Speaker 1: the weather goes and all that. The plan is to
24:40
Speaker 1: go there with a group of the Malad militia, so
24:42
Speaker 1: hopefully we'll have a good time with that. And again,
24:46
Speaker 1: if you missed it, I don't know how you could
24:47
Speaker 1: have missed it. Malard Meat Greet, Newport, Kentucky, Strong Sprick
24:50
Speaker 1: Oven Pizzeria two till five will be there. It's the
24:53
Speaker 1: place to be. Be there or get the hell out
24:56
Speaker 1: of here either way and have a wonderful rest. Saturday,
25:00
Speaker 1: we will have the mail bag mail bag on the
25:03
Speaker 1: Big Sunday Podcast. Big announcement on the Sunday Podcast as well.
25:08
Speaker 1: You're gonna want to hear that. No spoilers, no spoilers,
25:14
Speaker 1: I'm not doing it. I'm not gonna spoil anyway. We'll
25:16
Speaker 1: have that for you tomorrow. Have a great day. Thank
25:18
Speaker 1: you if you're coming out to the meet and greet.
25:19
Speaker 1: If not, I know our friend Kathy and Madison. She's
25:22
Speaker 1: doing her own Facebook thing. She's gonna do like a
25:25
Speaker 1: live Facebook performance from her place in Madison, Wisconsin, so
25:30
Speaker 1: that's kind of cool. Anyway, have a wonderful time whatever
25:33
Speaker 1: you're doing today, and I'll talk to you next time.
25:36
Speaker 1: My Felicia