Latest / Homeschool Insights - Biblical Home Education Inspiration in Under 10 Minutes! / Your Child’s Bad Choice Is Not Your Failure - Rachael Carman
Transcript
- speaker-0: He wanted them to choose to love and obey him like he had lovingly created them. And they chose against him. In the midst of perfection, they chose against him. speaker-1: So we talked about our stuff, but why is it when we our kid let's let's look at the f the side of it when moms, we start assuming that like every struggle, every weakness, every wrong behavior in our kids are somehow our fault. Like we take it upon ourselves. So can you talk to that and how we can kind of start, you know, separating that out? speaker-0: Yeah. So again, I think there's a truth that it would behoove us. I'm I'm here to resurrect old words. I love the word behoove. It would behoove us to remember that our children are free agents. They are free agents. They get to choose. And here's the deal. This has been true of all mankind since the garden. Real love gives Is truthful and says, here are your choices. This is this is a loving God, right? He says, Adam and Eve, here's the deal. I love you. I've provided for you. You are now in a perfect space. And here's one thing I want you to not do. Here's all these things you can do. Here's one thing I'm gonna ask you not to do. And I'm gonna tell you that in the day that you do, there are serious consequences. speaker-1: Buente speaker-0: He loved them so much that he didn't make them puppets. He wanted them to choose to love and obey him like he had lovingly created them. And they chose against him. In the midst of perfection, they chose against him. It ought not shock us, right? When our children, not in perfection, I'm not perfect. I'm not a perfect mom. Our context here at home was never perfect, right? When our children choose against us, that should not be shocking. It should be like, ⁓ well, that was that was bound to happen, right? Because they're free agents. They get to choose. And I think so often we think when our kids choose poorly, and and just you know, spoiler alert, they will, they will choose poorly. And in varying degrees, right? So once your kids become young adults, so my oldest is 34 and my youngest is 22. ⁓ how I long for the days when the most dangerous thing, consequential thing that my children could do would be to play in the front yard fire ant pile. that that day would return. That my biggest concern for the afternoon would be. that they wouldn't stay away from the fire ant piles. We are so far past fire ant piles, right? Yeah. It it's progressive in nature. And and some children are more more willing to push those buttons. I I've discussed it here more than once, the whole idea of that child, the ones that come out of the shoot just in defiance, just wanting anything that you say up, they're gonna say down. Anyone anything that you say don't, they're gonna do. I mean, it's just like they are just, they just came out that way. Right. Mm-hmm. The glory of that is those kids are the raw material for for true world changers. Because if if if and it's not all on you, if though through your diligent you're identifying them as such, but your diligent discipline of them and the work of the Holy Spirit for them to embrace the work of the Holy Spirit because they have to participate too. And dare to become what God has planned for them to be with that strong will, you're talking about the makings of a Bonhoffer or a Wilberforce. I mean, people who literally defiantly stand against culture and say, Yeah, no. And we need those people, right? So if you've got one of those, congratulations. And that can be and that can be a marvelous thing. However, speaker-1: You're blessed. That's it. speaker-0: They may not choose to cooperate with the with the Holy Spirit. True. Right. And and it and acknowledging that they have the choice to make is a very difficult thing when you realize. I I used to tell my kids, I used to say, and not because we were perfect, but I think you'll understand. I used to say, you know, like no excuses. Like we take you to church on Sunday, your mop. My your dad and I love each other. We have free meals together a day. We spend time together. We vacation together. We read good books together. We laugh together. We play together. Like, no excuses. You blow this, that's on you, right? ⁓ and it kind of became a joke. But the reality is that's true for all of us. If you know Jesus, like that's on you. If I mean, if God has blessed you with, all of the things that he blesses all of us with to live in this country at this moment in time, why do we ever choose poorly? And yet we do. We do. We choose poorly. And so I think for the mom, and I I'm talking to the mom 'cause I mean, it would be interesting to have Davis on and to get the father perspective because I know it cuts deep and kind of in a different direction for the dads. Yeah. To see your children. make poor decisions. But I think they they make the poor decisions, they get that choice and it and it's it's a pain point. And I think acknowledging it as such is is a helpful thing. ⁓ just for yourself, that it it does hurt. And I think to also realize that it also hurts the heart of God when I make that same choice. Yeah. And so true. It's it can be very sobering when your children make varying degrees of poor choices to remember I do that too. I do that too. Yeah. And to grieve over their choice, certainly, but also to personalize it and realize I I do that too. And I think I think we can use it as an opportunity not to blame or be little, but to sober us in our own walk, in our own disciplines with what we're doing with God. speaker-2: This episode of Homeschool Insights is brought to you by BJU Press Homeschool, CTC Math, and the Explorer Bible for Kids. Visit the show notes to learn more about these excellent resources. And for more encouragement, listen to the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast at Schoolhouseroct.com.