Latest / Ridiculous History / Ridiculous History Presents: A History of "Adult" Toys, Part 1

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Ridiculous History Presents: A History of "Adult" Toys, Part 1 · Ridiculous History

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Speaker 1: Ridiculous History is a production of I Heart Radio Breaking news.
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Speaker 1: Special announcement, Fellow Ridiculous Historians, it's your it's your pals. Uh.
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Speaker 1: Super producer Max and Noel and I'm Ben. We are
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Speaker 1: doing something a little bit different this week, and we
0:39
Speaker 1: wanted to give you a heads up that this this
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Speaker 1: week's episodes are there's something special. They might not be
0:48
Speaker 1: for everyone. And s f W and s f K
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Speaker 1: just just unsafe. No, actually, I mean they're they're safe.
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Speaker 1: You know, sex is a thing that people, that's that's
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Speaker 1: that's existence about history throughout the species, you know, I mean,
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Speaker 1: how else would we have continued to exist and thrive
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Speaker 1: on this planet if it weren't for the sexy private
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Speaker 1: times and that we go into that in detail in
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Speaker 1: today's episode. You might hear men and I say some
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Speaker 1: things that you're not used to hearing us say, because um,
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Speaker 1: we joined Diana and Elive Ridiculous Romance and discussing the
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Speaker 1: history of sex, not just sex, but sex toys, implements
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Speaker 1: used not only for procreation but for pleasure. Yeah, well said.
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Speaker 1: And I don't know about everybody else, but I definitely
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Speaker 1: learned some things and we enjoyed we enjoyed this episode
1:38
Speaker 1: so much, this two part episode with Ridiculous Romance, that
1:42
Speaker 1: we wanted to put it directly on our feed and
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Speaker 1: we got Diana Analizes permission, so so they're great with it.
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Speaker 1: But this is also a great way for you to
1:52
Speaker 1: get a taste of what you can encounter on Ridiculous Romance.
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Speaker 1: It's not always I feel like they want us to
2:01
Speaker 1: say this, it's not always about sex toys, but come
2:06
Speaker 1: for the puns and then check out check out their
2:08
Speaker 1: fantastic show as well because it legit is hilarious. And
2:13
Speaker 1: then seriously, this is probably on par with you know,
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Speaker 1: I know, when we do stuff with Jack and Miles,
2:17
Speaker 1: we kind of allow ourselves to untuck our shirts a
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Speaker 1: little bit, let our hair down, our hairs. This one
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Speaker 1: kind of takes that to the next level. I would say,
2:27
Speaker 1: so more on par with the George Carlin episode that
2:30
Speaker 1: we did where um, there was about a list of
2:33
Speaker 1: of blue words that were banned in broadcasting. This is
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Speaker 1: kind of like that. So definitely not a co listening
2:39
Speaker 1: experience unless it's you know, you and your and your
2:42
Speaker 1: lover that would be good. So without further ado, let's
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Speaker 1: dive into the history of sex toys. Hey, their friends
2:51
Speaker 1: come listen. Well, Elia and Diana got some stories to tell.
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Speaker 1: There's no match making a romantic tips. It's just about
2:59
Speaker 1: particulous with the ships a love. It might be any
3:02
Speaker 1: type of person at all, and abstract cons that don't
3:05
Speaker 1: a concrete wall. But if there's a story where the
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Speaker 1: second plans Ridiculous rom a production of I Heart Radio. Hey, guys,
3:15
Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on the show. Right,
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Speaker 1: I too, am very excited and enthused, So I'm sorry. Yeah,
3:23
Speaker 1: we woke these guys up at three am and told
3:26
Speaker 1: them they had to come jump on the show. Sorry,
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Speaker 1: sorry for interrupting. And I was like, can I can
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Speaker 1: I bring clothes with me? I didn't get an answer,
3:35
Speaker 1: but I found I found a T shirt. Um, So
3:38
Speaker 1: I'm just not going to stand up while we record
3:40
Speaker 1: out of respect for one. Yeah, but I know that
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Speaker 1: we were massively excited first off, big big fans of
3:48
Speaker 1: ridiculous room massively yes, massively excited, uh positively vibrating with
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Speaker 1: pleasure because this is a this is a know uh
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Speaker 1: one thing we love about ridiculous romances, uh your ability
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Speaker 1: to explore things in a way that we often don't
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Speaker 1: in ridiculous history when you agree no explore Sorry yeah, no, no,
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Speaker 1: definitely this is going to be a journey, voyage of
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Speaker 1: self discovery. Uh yeah, I mean we you know, we
4:23
Speaker 1: we try to keep it pg. Thirteen And honestly, like,
4:26
Speaker 1: there's no reason that the history of sex toys can't
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Speaker 1: be pg. Thirteen. I mean, it's history. These are things,
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Speaker 1: These are artifacts, These are historic relic sometimes sacred in
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Speaker 1: many cases. Yeah, the history itself definitely p us talking
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Speaker 1: about it. We'll say I love it though. Yeah, this
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Speaker 1: is us. This is like me and Ben's chance to
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Speaker 1: really let it all hang out. We take you guys
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Speaker 1: off the leash, and we'll see what happens. Okay, wait,
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Speaker 1: what do we is this? I trust you guys, Diana
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Speaker 1: hel Is this a uh? Is this a episode where
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Speaker 1: we need a safe word? Or where are we at
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Speaker 1: with that? You know, a safe word is always a
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Speaker 1: good idea if you ever feel uncomfortable. Definitely, just you know,
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Speaker 1: I don't know, scream at the top of your lungs.
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Speaker 1: Hard word, that will be our safe word, right, hard
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Speaker 1: is a great safe no potential for misunderstanding there. I
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Speaker 1: always just preferred. I think we've mentioned on the show
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Speaker 1: before that. I just think the ultimate safe word is
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Speaker 1: just safe word. Why did you or something? When you're like,
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Speaker 1: look safe word, it says it all. It's safe word.
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Speaker 1: Safe word. You're done. I'm done. I'm not going to
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Speaker 1: accidentally say safe word in passion in the moment if
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Speaker 1: I don't mean it, unlike pineapples, which comes up a lot. Well, yeah,
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Speaker 1: kindly stop ram rotting. Sorry, the safe word must be
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Speaker 1: submitted in writing in triple kit. This is a question
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Speaker 1: that I think is on both my mind and and knowles. Uh,
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Speaker 1: what are some of the like you guys have gone
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Speaker 1: into some really um it's at times controversial territory for
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Speaker 1: a lot of people. So one of the things that
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Speaker 1: I think you always approach from such an empathetic human
6:07
Speaker 1: angle is the idea of people's sexual explorations, right, I
6:15
Speaker 1: think because we call it ridiculous romance, and you've had
6:18
Speaker 1: stories that are almost entirely just just the romance. Right.
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Speaker 1: But today when you when you when you all came
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Speaker 1: to us with this idea of sex toys, I at
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Speaker 1: least I can't speak for unial. I knew they were
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Speaker 1: ancient because people have been into this for a long time.
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Speaker 1: But I don't think I grasped, uh grasp whatever. I
6:41
Speaker 1: don't think I understood how like how intertwined with society, past,
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Speaker 1: present and future these things have been. And is it
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Speaker 1: true like are we at a did we just as
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Speaker 1: a society get out of a period where these things
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Speaker 1: were taboo? I have so many questions. Uh yeah, I
7:00
Speaker 1: think so. I mean especially dildos particularly were vilified. At
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Speaker 1: one point in history. They were very, very common and
7:11
Speaker 1: awesome and everybody loved them, and then they were like, wait,
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Speaker 1: do you think my wife will like this dildo better
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Speaker 1: than me? And then they kind of fell out of
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Speaker 1: favor with a gentleman. What am I going to be
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Speaker 1: a better lover? It's it's remarkable how frequently male in
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Speaker 1: security shape's history so remarkable, so remarkable, almost too much remarkable. Um.
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Speaker 1: I also did learn too that because it allowed gay men,
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Speaker 1: dildos allowed gay men to have sex without you know,
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Speaker 1: without actually uh putting their own body parts in each other.
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Speaker 1: They were able to have sex when they had HIV,
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Speaker 1: and so they became synonymous with having HIV for as well,
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Speaker 1: if you had a dildo meant you were you were
7:55
Speaker 1: like had a deadly disease, which is very weird. But
7:59
Speaker 1: obviously that change to make all right. Well, you know,
8:02
Speaker 1: they were trying real hard to make everyone very scared
8:05
Speaker 1: of gay people. Um, that's true during that period, so
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Speaker 1: I think they were trying anything, and they were trying
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Speaker 1: anything with stick speaking of sticks, Speaking of sticks. Early
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Speaker 1: on though, I mean, like the attitude towards sex was
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Speaker 1: pretty la fair, like I mean the earliest days, and
8:22
Speaker 1: then it went through the kind of puritanical phase and
8:24
Speaker 1: then sort of his come full circle. Um in the
8:27
Speaker 1: modern day. I know we're going to get there, but
8:29
Speaker 1: why don't we take it back to like antiquity and
8:33
Speaker 1: like the discovery of the first mystical dildo of the gods? Well, yeah,
8:40
Speaker 1: we I mean, we have been digging up dildos for
8:42
Speaker 1: a very long time. They think the first one humans,
8:46
Speaker 1: not us personally, We've only been digging up dildos for
8:51
Speaker 1: a couple of months. But humans your backyard, it's weird.
8:56
Speaker 1: I have no idea how they got there. It was
8:58
Speaker 1: the oldest house on the street, they tell us. So
9:01
Speaker 1: there was nothing but farmlance every dildo have. Everyone would
9:06
Speaker 1: hide their dildos in our backyard. No, yeah, human beings
9:10
Speaker 1: have been digging up dildos for a very long time.
9:12
Speaker 1: They think they found the very first dildo in a
9:15
Speaker 1: cave in Germany that dates back to the Ice Age,
9:19
Speaker 1: so twenty eight thousand years ago, and it's made of
9:23
Speaker 1: chalk chalk, I guess you gotta stay warm, but jeez,
9:26
Speaker 1: feels dry though, doesn't it like something like that? Why
9:29
Speaker 1: would you want to put but you something? But I mean,
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Speaker 1: I guess we're really desperate and the ice ages, so
9:35
Speaker 1: you could really leave your mark, chalk it up, chok
9:41
Speaker 1: it after you a lack of supplies. I don't know
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Speaker 1: what couldn't lead. It's a fashioned one out of like
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Speaker 1: a block of ice, just kind of make it like smooth.
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Speaker 1: I guess it would melt, but it would take you.
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Speaker 1: Do you want to put a block of ice like
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Speaker 1: inside your butt? Because I can tell you I would
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Speaker 1: not like it could be interesting? Who knows? I mean?
10:00
Speaker 1: And stimula. It was the Ice Age. They were very
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Speaker 1: used to that feeling. Whatever. Isn't there another old one
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Speaker 1: that was discovered? Um, I believe somewhere in like Syria
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Speaker 1: that was like made of stone. There were like stone
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Speaker 1: ones as well, ste ivory, jade, probably bones. I imagine
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Speaker 1: I feel like that's a that's an obvious one to make,
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Speaker 1: a sure um. And if you look up prehistoric dildos,
10:29
Speaker 1: they have a wide variety of sizes and girths and
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Speaker 1: different foreskin like options. They even came with tattoos or
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Speaker 1: little illustrations carved in them. So I love that there
10:42
Speaker 1: was some art. They're like branded. They were branded, they
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Speaker 1: were like dildo. They probably had a close personal relationship,
10:50
Speaker 1: you know. I assumed that even in more uh collectivist
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Speaker 1: early societies, there were still things that were considered kind
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Speaker 1: of like your personal property, like hey, this like a
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Speaker 1: like a two shot, you know, or like you know,
11:09
Speaker 1: or your button plug or your dildo. But so, by
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Speaker 1: the way, I'm a mistake, I said Syria just kind
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Speaker 1: of off the top of my head. It was Germany,
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Speaker 1: I believe where they found this, these collections of silt
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Speaker 1: stone Germany. Some of these were like monogram Germany. The
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Speaker 1: early forefront of this techno makes sense exactly of anywhere
11:28
Speaker 1: in the world where would you look for a dildo?
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Speaker 1: But Germany. You listened to your show, that's awesome. So
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Speaker 1: so there's another thing, you know, Diane, you found this
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Speaker 1: in your Researchen's something that really stood out to me
11:41
Speaker 1: because you think a lot about not to get two
11:43
Speaker 1: in the weeds, so you think a lot about uh,
11:46
Speaker 1: material science to put it in the lamest way possible, Like, uh,
11:52
Speaker 1: it makes sense that there would be something like a
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Speaker 1: smooth stone or ivory your bone or even would that
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Speaker 1: would make sense and probably have less of a risk
12:01
Speaker 1: of injury or irritation. But what's up with the incredibly
12:07
Speaker 1: silly name The Holdest Boy b O? I by pretty
12:24
Speaker 1: good brandy, But yeah, what's the deal with that? This
12:26
Speaker 1: is a dates back to ancient Greece, I believe, and
12:29
Speaker 1: then carried over to some other adjacent culture. Oh yeah,
12:33
Speaker 1: they were stuffed phalluses and they were made of polished leather,
12:37
Speaker 1: and I guess that partly Sometimes you would even find
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Speaker 1: the stone ones with like a leather sheath so they
12:42
Speaker 1: would be warmer and softer when okay there, um, so
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Speaker 1: that's part that was smart. I feel like they were
12:49
Speaker 1: really thinking about comfort at some point, and they were like,
12:52
Speaker 1: you know, while we're making coats and shoes, let's go
12:55
Speaker 1: ahead set some aside. Somebody said, ladies, siltstone just isn't
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Speaker 1: doing it for me. A lot of russage and they
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Speaker 1: didn't work. Yeah, leather. Well, speaking of chafe, the ancient
13:11
Speaker 1: Greeks would also use olive oil as a lubricant, So
13:17
Speaker 1: there goes your chafing problem. You just get that bad boy,
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Speaker 1: that bad alive boy dipped in some olive oil. Surely
13:24
Speaker 1: that that enters into the etymology of the word, right,
13:27
Speaker 1: does that all his boy referencing oil? I wonder they
13:31
Speaker 1: just I don't know. I always do this where I
13:33
Speaker 1: see two vaguely similar words and I'm like, they must
13:35
Speaker 1: be related. There's no way they're not. Pretty incidence because
13:40
Speaker 1: I believe this is the first version of this that
13:41
Speaker 1: was called this, and there were other cultures that used
13:45
Speaker 1: that that term as well. It makes me think of
13:47
Speaker 1: have you guys ever seen the movie Caligula? You know,
13:50
Speaker 1: I didn't watch. Yeah, it's it's it's a lot. It
13:54
Speaker 1: was produced by the publisher of Penthouse and they wanted
13:57
Speaker 1: it to be like full Front Orgy or Giastic rat City.
14:01
Speaker 1: But it's also like, you know, a really expensive, you know,
14:04
Speaker 1: period movie with Malcolm McDowell playing the titular psychopath Emperor
14:09
Speaker 1: of Rome. And there's a scene where he um he
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Speaker 1: uses olive oil uh to loop up his fist a thing. Yeah,
14:19
Speaker 1: like like, I've got the etymology because the thinking of
14:23
Speaker 1: this as well, and you know English being such a
14:27
Speaker 1: language of the lazy and plagi plagiaristic people of the world. Uh,
14:33
Speaker 1: we end up with a lot of things that may
14:35
Speaker 1: seem like they are falsely related. But according to this
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Speaker 1: all his boy, which is the funny one is the
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Speaker 1: plural of olibos, which is ancient Greek for to slip,
14:48
Speaker 1: to glide. You know, like that slipping slide commercial in
14:51
Speaker 1: the eighties, right, you take a jump and take a die. Yeah.
14:58
Speaker 1: I was like what And then Eli, you and I
15:02
Speaker 1: are the olds in this conversation, whereas yeah, where I
15:07
Speaker 1: as I believe olive is unrelated etymo logically, but dang
15:12
Speaker 1: it again, Olive exactly like a game boy this. I'm
15:23
Speaker 1: going to go retire to be with my olive boy.
15:26
Speaker 1: There's another interesting thing here. We're talking about the cyclical
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Speaker 1: ups and downs of sex positivity for lack of a
15:36
Speaker 1: better word, throughout human history. One thing that surprised me
15:40
Speaker 1: in the research here is that the Greek men, to
15:45
Speaker 1: your point about male insecurity, like the Greek men who
15:48
Speaker 1: would go off to fighting wars were actually on board
15:52
Speaker 1: with giving giving an olive boy to their partners. That yeah,
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Speaker 1: they thought that if women were left too long without
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Speaker 1: an injection of sperm in them, at some point, they
16:06
Speaker 1: would eventually get hysteria or something called a wandering uterus.
16:13
Speaker 1: Which I know. It's a tough time around the house
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Speaker 1: when my uterus jumps out and starts. It starts around myself,
16:20
Speaker 1: you know, we get we always get calls from the neighbors.
16:23
Speaker 1: Uterus is loose again, you know, a little buddy. You
16:26
Speaker 1: just need a higher fence. I keep saying. I thought
16:28
Speaker 1: I felt a little lighter, trying to find itself, you know,
16:31
Speaker 1: it's just trying to understand who it really is, Like
16:33
Speaker 1: what am I doing. I gotta say that this this
16:37
Speaker 1: concept though, of like leaving the women with a dildo
16:40
Speaker 1: so that they wouldn't you know, the uteruses wouldn't wonder.
16:42
Speaker 1: It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase left
16:44
Speaker 1: to their own devices. We have to have to noculate
16:50
Speaker 1: you with sperm or else we will go insane, which
16:54
Speaker 1: is so funny, and that I mean. It's noted here,
16:56
Speaker 1: of course, that hysteria and sex toys have at a
17:00
Speaker 1: very long historical link, mostly for women. You know, doctors
17:04
Speaker 1: would uh do a pelvic massage for women that would
17:08
Speaker 1: result in a paroxysm. Uh I was supposed to cure
17:13
Speaker 1: them of hysteria, and I bet a lot of women
17:15
Speaker 1: were like, yeah, I feel so hysterical today. I don't
17:18
Speaker 1: know doctor showing me how I could do this maybe
17:24
Speaker 1: at home for myself when a hysteria just comes on.
17:30
Speaker 1: He's like, no, I think you need a professional. Was
17:34
Speaker 1: this kind of like a like a slow shift, because
17:37
Speaker 1: it seems like at first these sex toys are purely
17:40
Speaker 1: meant for kind of you know, the most hedonistic of pleasures, um,
17:44
Speaker 1: and then it starts to be more functional, where it's
17:47
Speaker 1: like I am the man. I I you know, you
17:49
Speaker 1: are my property and I'm going to give you this
17:51
Speaker 1: as a stand in for me while I'm away. But
17:53
Speaker 1: then it kind of started moving more towards like being
17:56
Speaker 1: a medical device, right or we maybe we're not quite
17:58
Speaker 1: there yet, but I think vibrators more specifically, we're we're
18:03
Speaker 1: marketed as medical devices and dildos were not. So I
18:07
Speaker 1: think that's why dildos actually had more controversy on them
18:12
Speaker 1: than vibrators ever did, because vibrators never really had Yeah,
18:16
Speaker 1: vibrators never really seemed to be a problem for people.
18:18
Speaker 1: They were like, cool, whatever, get your steampowered thing and
18:21
Speaker 1: have at it. But like, but it was like a
18:24
Speaker 1: medical thing because ladies are so crazy they have to
18:27
Speaker 1: have something, I guess. But with dildos it was more
18:30
Speaker 1: about like actual penetration and men could use them, and
18:35
Speaker 1: you know, lesbians used them and stuff, so it became
18:38
Speaker 1: like more of a I guess I could see that.
18:41
Speaker 1: You know, if you've got something the vibrates, then the men,
18:45
Speaker 1: you know, well I can't do that, so at least
18:47
Speaker 1: that's a different device. But if it's just a dildo,
18:49
Speaker 1: I've got a perfectly good dick right here. What's the
18:52
Speaker 1: problem you want to you want to dick in you?
18:54
Speaker 1: I can make that happen. Yeah, getting a little more
18:58
Speaker 1: aggravated about the diage. Maybe this is a great spot
19:01
Speaker 1: for a break, So we'll be right back. Welcome back everyone.
19:09
Speaker 1: So there's another question that I had that was a
19:12
Speaker 1: very I guess, practical question, Like, obviously a chalk like
19:19
Speaker 1: a dildo devised the chalk. It sounds like it's what
19:23
Speaker 1: the person had to work with at the time. But
19:25
Speaker 1: when you're thinking about people in the natural world where
19:29
Speaker 1: there's not nearly as much technology as there is today
19:32
Speaker 1: in two as we record this, wouldn't the natural world
19:36
Speaker 1: already have some kind of like phallic thing you could
19:39
Speaker 1: mess with, Like I don't know, I'm gonna make the
19:43
Speaker 1: laziest choices like I was. No, we're not gonna tell
19:47
Speaker 1: that story, Like, okay, I'll say it. So I was
19:51
Speaker 1: in a grocery store during the height of the lockdown.
19:56
Speaker 1: Will only go out from necessessin's whatever be massed up
19:58
Speaker 1: and everything man been out in public in a while,
20:01
Speaker 1: and the entire I think I mentioned to you guys
20:04
Speaker 1: off air, the entire grocery store was filled with a
20:08
Speaker 1: weirdly unnecessary sexual tension because people hadn't seen each other
20:13
Speaker 1: in a while. Everybody's got an aura of mystery because
20:16
Speaker 1: you know, two thirds of their faces covered. And I
20:19
Speaker 1: was in the produce aisle and this, uh, there's a
20:22
Speaker 1: person there, and I can tell you much more about
20:24
Speaker 1: them who saw me, like selecting cucumbers for some stuff
20:30
Speaker 1: I was gonna cook, and we're staring at me hard
20:33
Speaker 1: to the point where I just put down the cucumbers
20:36
Speaker 1: and thought, I'm gonna cook something else because this this
20:40
Speaker 1: person is reading this more into this situation than you know,
20:44
Speaker 1: my lay mass salad or whatever. And why I think
20:48
Speaker 1: of that? You know, we like it's a trope in
20:51
Speaker 1: it's a trope in so much Western Eurotica as well,
20:55
Speaker 1: like watch this person eat fruit or whatever. So did
20:59
Speaker 1: that play a role in the history of sex toys?
21:02
Speaker 1: Most definitely. They're like ancient texts like Arabian Nights that
21:06
Speaker 1: talk about fruit and vegetables and just any penis shaped object.
21:11
Speaker 1: But the best one I saw was from this Ming
21:14
Speaker 1: dynasty writer Taut sung E. And you know, we don't
21:17
Speaker 1: speak Cantonese, but we try. Circuit thirteen sixty he wrote
21:22
Speaker 1: about something called the Cantonese growing, which was a route
21:27
Speaker 1: sufficiently penish shaped to be used as a dildo, mostly
21:30
Speaker 1: by peasant women in like the country, rural areas. And
21:34
Speaker 1: interestingly it was also called an olspos, So they probably
21:38
Speaker 1: got that from ancient Greece. I imagine such a similar name,
21:43
Speaker 1: yeah right, such a similar name. It must have been
21:46
Speaker 1: the legend of this Cantonese groin is quote. In the
21:51
Speaker 1: pastures of the Tartars, wild horses often copulate with dragons.
21:56
Speaker 1: Drops of the semen will fall down and enter the earth,
21:59
Speaker 1: and at for some time put forth shoots resembling bamboo
22:03
Speaker 1: sprouts of pointed shape and covered with small scales close
22:07
Speaker 1: together like the teeth of a comb, and with a
22:10
Speaker 1: network of veins, making them very similar to the male member. Okay,
22:15
Speaker 1: do you guys have teeth of a comb on your dad?
22:20
Speaker 1: For you to ask me that, well, to be fair,
22:25
Speaker 1: I mean not to get to you know, anatomically correct,
22:28
Speaker 1: but why not. There is a seam, you know, on
22:31
Speaker 1: the bottom of of of a penis that is vaguely
22:35
Speaker 1: comb like or it's like a ridge kind of things,
22:38
Speaker 1: zig zaggy kind of you. But yeah, the veiny part
22:44
Speaker 1: is always just you know, sometimes I get these sweet
22:49
Speaker 1: potatoes everything store that have all these veins up along
22:51
Speaker 1: the side of them. It's very very upsetting trying to
22:54
Speaker 1: say sweet potato, that's a very sweet any of the
22:58
Speaker 1: produce section in general, you just got it. Don't go
23:04
Speaker 1: when you skip cucumbers, where do you go? Because almost
23:07
Speaker 1: everything well, it's so funny. The emoji is eggplant, which
23:11
Speaker 1: is the one I would probably not turn to you
23:13
Speaker 1: in a crisis. And actually another ming writer named Lee
23:21
Speaker 1: you wrote a theatrical play about a lesbian couple who
23:25
Speaker 1: use a double elise bos so they had double sided dildos,
23:28
Speaker 1: like as far back as the thirt hundreds, and this
23:31
Speaker 1: was a stick made of water ivory with two silk
23:34
Speaker 1: bands attached to the middle. I guess you like pull
23:37
Speaker 1: on it? Yeah, well you need a grip, right, something
23:40
Speaker 1: to grip on. That makes sense. So I assuming we
23:43
Speaker 1: I haven't seen these this play, I've not. I don't
23:46
Speaker 1: think there's been mounted in a while. Hasn't been mounted?
23:51
Speaker 1: Is it? Is it double sided? Like? Like? Yeah? They
23:58
Speaker 1: were saying in this the in this uh book about them,
24:03
Speaker 1: the main writers that female homosexuality was very common and
24:08
Speaker 1: considered to be a fine, normal thing, no problem ladies
24:13
Speaker 1: have at but male homosexuality was very frowned upon at
24:18
Speaker 1: the same time, which is so interesting to me, the
24:20
Speaker 1: gendered wells about homosexuality. It's interesting because there was also,
24:25
Speaker 1: especially in the upper class, there was a uh, some
24:28
Speaker 1: pretty distinct sharp lines around gender division. Right, so you
24:32
Speaker 1: could end up being, you know, some wine of noble birth,
24:37
Speaker 1: and you're you're not gonna meet a lot of dudes
24:40
Speaker 1: who are not, you know, either working for you or
24:45
Speaker 1: or your relatives. So maybe how far historically, is this
24:49
Speaker 1: after ancient Greek? And ancient said it's a long time. Yeah,
24:57
Speaker 1: because I mean, like you know, in those in those days,
24:58
Speaker 1: the moment, I mean it was like almost like like cool,
25:03
Speaker 1: not cool to be by or by curious or have
25:06
Speaker 1: like a stable being penetrated. You had to be a
25:12
Speaker 1: tops only, which is so funny because if everyone is
25:14
Speaker 1: a top, then where were they putting it? By the way, guys,
25:19
Speaker 1: what's a power? Bottom? Somebody explained to me, what a power?
25:22
Speaker 1: Have you not seen this explanation? Okay, I'll just maybe
25:30
Speaker 1: maybe some ridiculous romantics. We'll get a we'll get an
25:34
Speaker 1: answering machine on a later episode. Yeah, but it wasn't
25:39
Speaker 1: just vegetables and fruit that people used. Um. Speaking of
25:44
Speaker 1: ancient Greece. In a book called The Joy of Sexist Love,
25:49
Speaker 1: Less Lust, Love and Longing in the Ancient World by
25:53
Speaker 1: Vicky Leon, breadstick dildos were a common thing. Were the bottomless? No,
26:01
Speaker 1: they all found the bottom? I think, yeah, I don't
26:09
Speaker 1: think any of us absolute. Okay, So first off, I
26:13
Speaker 1: always shout to Larry David, but the crumbs, right like croms,
26:18
Speaker 1: This is my first question exact. Plus, I guess you
26:22
Speaker 1: have to have enough bread that you would let one
26:24
Speaker 1: sit by get stale enough to do the job. Plus
26:28
Speaker 1: plus I'm thinking you bust out the olive oil and
26:31
Speaker 1: there's a and there's a loaf of bread. I'm not
26:33
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna do anything, but immediately it's gonna be
26:36
Speaker 1: gone black pepper in there. Yeah, yeah, no, I wouldn't.
26:42
Speaker 1: It's food is just gonna come before sex for me. Also,
26:47
Speaker 1: I have a real um not phobia, but I'm just
26:50
Speaker 1: sort of squigged out a little bit by incorporating food
26:54
Speaker 1: stuffs into sex stuff. Say, I just don't think the
26:56
Speaker 1: twain should should meet. Like I don't even like like
26:59
Speaker 1: like sexy rawberry use that's just no, just yeah, don't
27:02
Speaker 1: care like inviting ants to hang out in your bedroom
27:06
Speaker 1: and he's already going to be stickiness eventually anyway, But
27:10
Speaker 1: that's how you know it's over. You don't want sticking
27:11
Speaker 1: this in advance, how you know we're dead. Oh man.
27:16
Speaker 1: I also don't like the idea of putting yeast anywhere
27:19
Speaker 1: near your vagina to the issues down there. But apparently
27:28
Speaker 1: this happened when at an ancient bakery, when quote a
27:31
Speaker 1: gal with time on her hands started full around with
27:34
Speaker 1: bread dough for like a loose woman hands right while
27:42
Speaker 1: listiviously daydreaming. She created an ossbo colics, the bread stick dildo,
27:48
Speaker 1: the sex industry's first green product. Well done, very important
27:54
Speaker 1: to be sustainable in our sex toy expliration. I'm sure
27:58
Speaker 1: that was your primary con cern thousands of years. Yeah,
28:05
Speaker 1: people are gonna go plastic waste. I'm onto something. You
28:09
Speaker 1: guys are calling me weird, but just wait one day,
28:13
Speaker 1: we're going to want to get power from the sun.
28:17
Speaker 1: So yeah, this is this is uh fascinating because it
28:22
Speaker 1: sounds like it caught on and became kind of a
28:25
Speaker 1: cottage industry, at least in ancient Athens. Uh. Yeah, there
28:31
Speaker 1: was a There was a note from that interview that
28:34
Speaker 1: Leon did with the Huffington Post where she answered a
28:37
Speaker 1: question that I was a little too hesitant to ask
28:40
Speaker 1: because I'm one of the more immature people in today's conversation.
28:45
Speaker 1: What happens to the bread after yes, you sell it
28:51
Speaker 1: for half price obviously, or you sell it for the
28:54
Speaker 1: price okay on fans. You could probably sell it for
29:00
Speaker 1: some weird Greek guy out there. It's like, I'm that
29:03
Speaker 1: bread were always selling their used underwear and there's someone
29:06
Speaker 1: for some crazy shit. You know. That's the thing. There's
29:09
Speaker 1: always what did you say? Oh did they leon said?
29:14
Speaker 1: These breadsticks were these oldest most colleagues excuse me? Were
29:17
Speaker 1: a custom made to fit and quote even nutritious. Should
29:22
Speaker 1: the need arise? Should a different need arise? Yeah, it's
29:27
Speaker 1: sort of like an elegal bread yeah, functional in edible
29:35
Speaker 1: nutritious though, well bread my question. I mean that's a
29:40
Speaker 1: that's a very broad term, you know, like a multi grain.
29:46
Speaker 1: So there was some kind of friction. Yeah, sure, sure,
29:49
Speaker 1: with or without rise seeds. Dr Ruth is probably this
29:52
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with. Well, it depends do you want
29:55
Speaker 1: it ribbed for her pleasure? And maybe that's what the
29:57
Speaker 1: rides there. You Yeah, there's a reference to using dildos
30:02
Speaker 1: in the playlist is Strata, which is about women who
30:04
Speaker 1: go on a sex strike to stop a warm So
30:07
Speaker 1: they definitely I wonder if they ever used Baggett's and like,
30:11
Speaker 1: I kind of want to do a production now they're like, well,
30:14
Speaker 1: I got we're all set over here. Well, the war
30:16
Speaker 1: is going terribly, but our grain industry is just dominating.
30:22
Speaker 1: Time for a teeny weeny commercial break. We will be
30:24
Speaker 1: right back welcome back to the show, everybody. Okay, I
30:32
Speaker 1: got I'll stop going back to the weird idea that
30:36
Speaker 1: people have to have quote sperm injections to not go
30:39
Speaker 1: crazy because there's there's no sperm involved obviously, right with
30:43
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not a baker, but okay, yeah, just
30:46
Speaker 1: but I suppose if you made like a Neclaire, you
30:49
Speaker 1: know there might be something there for a boy that's
30:55
Speaker 1: my nickname. I said it was cream Field. I didn't
30:57
Speaker 1: tell you what kind of cream I did sell you.
31:00
Speaker 1: No refunds and you're welcome. So we're we're looking. I
31:07
Speaker 1: think it's safe to say that, like what we're already
31:10
Speaker 1: seeing is a long established pattern of people, honestly, people
31:18
Speaker 1: taking some agency for themselves, and people say I don't
31:21
Speaker 1: necessarily need another person and all that baggage that comes
31:25
Speaker 1: with it. Uh. If I already know what I want?
31:29
Speaker 1: Um right, and this this is a trend that content,
31:31
Speaker 1: I gotta say spoiler alert, uh for everybody listening. I
31:37
Speaker 1: am so excited to get to some poetry in a second,
31:41
Speaker 1: because I'm like emotionally nine years old. But I think
31:44
Speaker 1: we've got maybe just something, just another thing to add
31:48
Speaker 1: in here beforehand, which is we've also established past the
31:54
Speaker 1: world of like so past the ancient world. When we're
32:00
Speaker 1: talking about a lot of this stuff, we're talking about
32:02
Speaker 1: people who are probably considered to be people of means.
32:05
Speaker 1: I mean, history itself as we know it is is
32:08
Speaker 1: kind of inherently a history of the literate class, because
32:11
Speaker 1: they're the ones who could write. So are I guess
32:16
Speaker 1: what I'm asking? I'm not sure how to freeze this
32:18
Speaker 1: what we're rich people doing at this point, Like they
32:23
Speaker 1: weren't using bread, that's what the servants were for. No,
32:33
Speaker 1: but you're so right they I don't think they used
32:35
Speaker 1: as many root vegetables and stuff because they had money
32:39
Speaker 1: to pay for nice things and um. By the time
32:42
Speaker 1: of the Renaissance, rich folks had Dildo's custom made from
32:46
Speaker 1: silver and ivory and gold and other like precious materials.
32:52
Speaker 1: So they had like I mean, very valuable sex toys
32:56
Speaker 1: in their possession and probably beautifully decorated. Did don't you
33:00
Speaker 1: think oh you I would think that, yeah, because you're
33:03
Speaker 1: showing them off to the neighbors right herself in your
33:06
Speaker 1: bedroom and you're like, hick, this one has is adorned
33:09
Speaker 1: with garne. There's a certain element of keeping up with
33:15
Speaker 1: the Joneses of course the sex toys aium. I think
33:22
Speaker 1: I really skip this period in history already, but I
33:26
Speaker 1: just wanted to mention something that I though I ran
33:27
Speaker 1: across um in terms of like what the rich we're doing. Uh,
33:32
Speaker 1: there's a rumor. I think it's backed up with with
33:34
Speaker 1: actual findings, archaeological findings. But apparently Cleopatra would use like
33:40
Speaker 1: a papyrus box full of live bees as like first analog.
33:47
Speaker 1: I saw a hollow gourd that she filled with bees
33:50
Speaker 1: and that was the first legend says that was the
33:53
Speaker 1: first vibrator um, which I have never wanted to get
33:56
Speaker 1: off enough to put live bees anywhere close to my body.
33:59
Speaker 1: But if okay, seriously high road people, Diana, geez, Cleopatra
34:08
Speaker 1: it was a different world. She had different things available
34:11
Speaker 1: to her, different available so true, Well, what mean yeah
34:19
Speaker 1: for words? You like? If you feel a loss for words,
34:23
Speaker 1: I think you have perfect timing, my friend, because we're
34:27
Speaker 1: finally getting to a little bit of poetry. And what
34:31
Speaker 1: I love about this kind of poetry is that, just
34:35
Speaker 1: like Beethoven's really dirty songs about farting and stuff, it
34:40
Speaker 1: proves that people back then we're not really different from
34:44
Speaker 1: people today. Uh and yeah, in school we read about
34:48
Speaker 1: we read about the the high flutine, noble stuff. But
34:52
Speaker 1: I think I think sometimes we miss just how potty
34:58
Speaker 1: humor the human population news. I kind of compare it
35:02
Speaker 1: to like, you think your dad didn't look at porn,
35:05
Speaker 1: but he definitely looked at porn and his father and
35:15
Speaker 1: on and on. I mean, that's very true. I think
35:19
Speaker 1: that's an interesting thing about history is remembering that people
35:22
Speaker 1: loved to have sex, people love to make jokes. I
35:27
Speaker 1: remember listening to a Noble Blood episode that podcast Noble
35:31
Speaker 1: Blood is very good, and she was talking about reading
35:35
Speaker 1: some people. She was like, historians take this story really seriously,
35:38
Speaker 1: as this like leader being a bit to her like whatever.
35:42
Speaker 1: But she's like, it's actually clearly a practical joke. If
35:45
Speaker 1: you look at it as a prank, it's just a
35:47
Speaker 1: funny thing she was doing with her court. You have
35:49
Speaker 1: to remember that people did did play jokes on each
35:52
Speaker 1: other back in the day where fully stoic all the
35:55
Speaker 1: time and winning wars or whatever. But yes, speaking of etymology,
36:02
Speaker 1: I know you're an etymology fan, Nol, but the actual
36:06
Speaker 1: word I do love etymology myself, but the word dildo
36:10
Speaker 1: came from our friends, the Italians. Thank you, Thank you Italy.
36:16
Speaker 1: If it came from the word do letto, meaning to delight,
36:22
Speaker 1: makes sense, slide and glide and delight the three things.
36:27
Speaker 1: The double D sound is always just a fun it's
36:30
Speaker 1: a delight to say dildo. It sounds like like a real,
36:34
Speaker 1: real silly goofy thing. Yeah, and I've got to ask,
36:38
Speaker 1: so uh beat behind the curtain folks for years, always
36:42
Speaker 1: trying to convince our bosses to let me do an
36:45
Speaker 1: etymology show right in and tell them we should uh
36:48
Speaker 1: and that the four of us will do it. I'm
36:50
Speaker 1: volunteering everybody here. We need your help. But this reminds
36:54
Speaker 1: me another another word that came into English usage from
37:00
Speaker 1: Italian is uh dilettante, And I think it has the
37:05
Speaker 1: same ultimate route right to do. So my question is,
37:11
Speaker 1: even though now we call dilatant, you know, we call
37:14
Speaker 1: the definition a lover of the arts or whatever. Um,
37:20
Speaker 1: did it mean dildo people in the beginning A lover
37:23
Speaker 1: of the dildos? It's people who had way too many
37:28
Speaker 1: in their dildo orium whatever, Like she has a whole
37:32
Speaker 1: other room. Guys, why would I needlock? I don't even
37:36
Speaker 1: have ad dildo let alone, MANI it would accommodate an
37:40
Speaker 1: entire rack. We'll be adding another wing onto the palace.
37:47
Speaker 1: But yeah, we have a really wonderful, hilarious body poem
37:53
Speaker 1: about kind of about the Italian influence here. It was
37:58
Speaker 1: by John Wilma, who was the second Earl of Rochester,
38:02
Speaker 1: and he was apparently well known for his lewd poetry
38:05
Speaker 1: that he would write. And um, we pulled out some
38:08
Speaker 1: select verses from kind of a long poem called signor
38:12
Speaker 1: Dildo that he wrote. That's that's Mr Dildo, right Di Dildo.
38:19
Speaker 1: So yeah, I say, let's head on down to poetry
38:22
Speaker 1: corner and here signor Dildo by John Wilmot. You would
38:27
Speaker 1: take him at first for no person of note, because
38:31
Speaker 1: he appears in a plain leather coat. But when you
38:35
Speaker 1: his virtuous abilities, no you'll fall down and worship Signor Dildo.
38:41
Speaker 1: My lady South ask heaven prosper her fort. First clothed
38:46
Speaker 1: him in satin, then brought him to court, but his
38:49
Speaker 1: head in the circle he scarcely durst show so modest
38:53
Speaker 1: a youth was Signor Dildo. The Countess of foul myth
38:57
Speaker 1: of whom people tell of. It's been wear shirts of
39:01
Speaker 1: a guinea and now might save that expense if she did.
39:06
Speaker 1: But know her lustier swinger you signor del do whoa
39:14
Speaker 1: the pattern of virtue, Her grace of Cleveland has swallowed
39:18
Speaker 1: more bricks than the ocean has slant rhyme right there,
39:23
Speaker 1: I gotta get in. Credit has said Cleveland has sat.
39:35
Speaker 1: But by rubbing and scrubbing so wide does it grow?
39:40
Speaker 1: It is fit for just nothing. But the Senora Dilda
39:46
Speaker 1: our dainty fine duchesses have got a trick to dote
39:50
Speaker 1: on a fool for the sake of his brick. The
39:53
Speaker 1: fops were undone, did their graces, but no the discretion
39:57
Speaker 1: and the vigor of signor dildo. This senior is sound
40:03
Speaker 1: safe ready and dumb as ever was candle, carrot or
40:09
Speaker 1: thumb been away with these nasty devices, and show how
40:13
Speaker 1: you rate the just merit of seeing your dildo? Beautiful,
40:19
Speaker 1: beautiful beautiful. So I want to point out just two things,
40:22
Speaker 1: real quick. First, dumb in that last first great read
40:25
Speaker 1: everybody wait three things, um. Second, dumb in this sense
40:31
Speaker 1: most likely just means silent, but it works, it works
40:36
Speaker 1: very well. Yeah, congratulations himbo. So I also I don't
40:43
Speaker 1: think We said this in the beginning as we were
40:46
Speaker 1: excited about talking about this off air. Um Diana Eli.
40:52
Speaker 1: This is not the full poem. These are excerpts. Have
40:56
Speaker 1: it in the notes as select versus from this poem.
40:59
Speaker 1: My question is how long is this book? Is? Just
41:03
Speaker 1: like also exactly, I had nothing else to do. So
41:09
Speaker 1: this ship went on for like I think it was
41:11
Speaker 1: like eighteen or nineteen stands any name dropped so many
41:16
Speaker 1: people and I'm like, I hope they're real, Like were
41:18
Speaker 1: they here listening? Like are you trying to say that
41:23
Speaker 1: I have swallowed more pricks than the ocean has sand?
41:26
Speaker 1: So specifically people, well, this is I don't know if
41:30
Speaker 1: they're real people, but I think so. I think I
41:33
Speaker 1: think he is at least referring some because this happened
41:37
Speaker 1: a lot in uh In in aristocratic circles. They would
41:41
Speaker 1: write stuff that are roasty kind of like they would
41:46
Speaker 1: they would be writing stuff that's like, you know, they
41:49
Speaker 1: put a different name on it, but everybody knew who
41:51
Speaker 1: you meant. You know, you meant that slutty chick over there,
41:54
Speaker 1: you know, yeah exactly. So it was always like some
41:57
Speaker 1: unders some shade, and he was trying to one thing
42:02
Speaker 1: I love about this style of poetry is it's so
42:05
Speaker 1: smug and self satisfied, like just like I'm gonna do
42:10
Speaker 1: the thing again, like at the end of it. You know,
42:12
Speaker 1: it's just like, yeah, like the fact that there's like
42:15
Speaker 1: the fact that there's so many more stands us than
42:17
Speaker 1: this that we left out just hammers that home even
42:20
Speaker 1: for right on the head. I am just so delightfully
42:28
Speaker 1: body and uh and hilarious. That's what this guy's Oh yeah,
42:32
Speaker 1: he was very proud of this poem. I'm sure very
42:35
Speaker 1: excited to share with all the ladies that he was
42:38
Speaker 1: talking about it, like, hey, I put you in my poem.
42:42
Speaker 1: Oh my god, thank you? What man, you never read
42:45
Speaker 1: it first? Should come to the show. I also wonder
42:49
Speaker 1: if the Countess of Falmouth was like, oh, so I
42:51
Speaker 1: don't have to funck my footman and give him nice stuff.
42:54
Speaker 1: I could just get me a little toy to put
42:57
Speaker 1: in the house. This this is also this is where
43:02
Speaker 1: we see like a turn. So it's widely accepted, even
43:05
Speaker 1: though it might be a little edgy. Right. Uh, this
43:09
Speaker 1: guy's doing insult comedy tail as old as time, right Uh,
43:14
Speaker 1: but as as you guys have been telling us before.
43:17
Speaker 1: Eventually there was there was a time where guys started
43:22
Speaker 1: to promote h dudes, I mean specifically started to associate,
43:27
Speaker 1: but they ran a smear campaign against still those right,
43:30
Speaker 1: it's promiscurity, it's a v D. But at the same time,
43:35
Speaker 1: for the entire time, dudes had their their own toys,
43:40
Speaker 1: right and uh, Eli, I'm just I'm gonna have to
43:43
Speaker 1: go hashtag no pun left behind because it's sincere. When
43:46
Speaker 1: you at the very top of the show said male
43:48
Speaker 1: insecurity because it's been a long day for me, I
43:51
Speaker 1: thought you met a male hyphen I n space security. Yeah.
43:57
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do with that pun, but
43:58
Speaker 1: I don't want to leave it out in the cold.
44:01
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, like a guard, some guard who can't uh,
44:10
Speaker 1: you know many securities. Will belos romantics help us out.
44:15
Speaker 1: Just explain that punt to us, the punt. So, uh,
44:19
Speaker 1: this is fascinating because we haven't talked about something that,
44:22
Speaker 1: uh is apparently quite popular. I feel weird saying it.
44:26
Speaker 1: I feel like my mom's gonna come back and find
44:28
Speaker 1: me if I say this. Cock rings yeah, oh god,
44:33
Speaker 1: but they're old to dude. My favorite I do one
44:37
Speaker 1: of my favorite Mr Show sketches like a fake commercial.
44:41
Speaker 1: It's like cock Rane warehouse. Any cock will do, but
44:45
Speaker 1: they're like so bored that they're like, come on down
44:47
Speaker 1: to the Cockrane, the cock Rane new and used, cock
44:52
Speaker 1: Ran vintage. Yeah, I like it. I love that. It's hilarious,
44:57
Speaker 1: it's fantastic. But yeah, they are act pretty old school
45:01
Speaker 1: cock rings. They have been around for a long time.
45:04
Speaker 1: Um part partly, I guess because of that male in security,
45:06
Speaker 1: because they're supposed to help you achieve or keep an
45:09
Speaker 1: erection for longer. So it's kind of part of I
45:12
Speaker 1: guess that where they're like I need something to like
45:14
Speaker 1: make sure UM given her the goods about edging where
45:23
Speaker 1: you're sort of keeping yourself, it's almost like a tantric
45:25
Speaker 1: thing where you're sort of like holding back, you know,
45:27
Speaker 1: you're trying to not you know, climax in two point
45:32
Speaker 1: five seconds, trying to give it some time. There's a
45:35
Speaker 1: book called The Book of Kink Sex Beyond the Missionary
45:38
Speaker 1: by Ava Christina, and it says that in the Gin
45:42
Speaker 1: and Song dynasties in China around a d D, they
45:47
Speaker 1: would make cock rings out of a goat's eyelid because
45:52
Speaker 1: it's already a circle of skin and then they would
45:55
Speaker 1: leave the lashes on the like, can I just say
46:05
Speaker 1: the things we've done to goats on this show, and
46:08
Speaker 1: even when we went on your show last time for
46:10
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day, as we put goats through Yeah, there's some
46:15
Speaker 1: goat vivisection involved in one of those rituals that we
46:18
Speaker 1: talked about. It was it was the goat skins. They
46:20
Speaker 1: would We had a guy marry a goat in a
46:25
Speaker 1: recent episode that we talked about that. But yeah, that
46:29
Speaker 1: we just we are we're putting goats through it. Yeah. Well,
46:32
Speaker 1: it's part of a long history too of looking to
46:35
Speaker 1: the natural world for things that are thought to in
46:38
Speaker 1: one way or another enhanced sexual performance. Right, And even
46:42
Speaker 1: that even exists today with the various different unproven or
46:46
Speaker 1: disproven stories that say, hey, you know what, this thing
46:49
Speaker 1: is an aphrodisiac. I know it sounds crazy. Just let
46:54
Speaker 1: this guy slap you with a goat skin a couple
46:57
Speaker 1: of times and then come back and thank me. Just
47:00
Speaker 1: come back and this entire goats testicle, yeah, will imbute
47:04
Speaker 1: you with the power of the Why is it always
47:07
Speaker 1: the most disgusting, smelly, like unappetizing things that are like
47:11
Speaker 1: this will really turn you on. They're like, otherwise it's trash.
47:14
Speaker 1: I've got to make it a sex or something. Just
47:18
Speaker 1: do tend push up today, you know, just well there's
47:22
Speaker 1: a lot and they're like, no, I don't have time.
47:24
Speaker 1: It's going down in the next room. Just give me
47:28
Speaker 1: the goat give me the goat cock right now, you're
47:33
Speaker 1: right to. I mean, like, I mean, I think I
47:34
Speaker 1: love oysters, but they're obviously really unappetizing. It was it
47:40
Speaker 1: was Hemingway said to me, like was very brave. Was
47:44
Speaker 1: the man who first ate an oyster? You know, like
47:47
Speaker 1: that's meant meant to be an effort. Yeah, I'm acquired
47:51
Speaker 1: taste for sure. How does don't know about that? I
47:53
Speaker 1: don't know if I need an oyster? I mean, like,
47:55
Speaker 1: and I don't know. They say about garlic too, but
47:59
Speaker 1: that's another one. I'm like, does anyone eat a bunch
48:01
Speaker 1: of garlic and go yes? I can't wing to mash
48:03
Speaker 1: my mouth up against hers. I smelled you across the room,
48:10
Speaker 1: and I knew it was a cloud as well. So
48:15
Speaker 1: you know, I'm a big believer in being honest and
48:17
Speaker 1: transparent about learning, and I'm gonna go out and say it.
48:20
Speaker 1: I don't care if I embarrassed myself. I did not
48:23
Speaker 1: know that goat eyelash cock rings were a thing I
48:26
Speaker 1: must have that I must have missed that day m P.
48:30
Speaker 1: And I apologize to everyone. It was a whole day
48:34
Speaker 1: of health class. I kept nudging you, but you were
48:36
Speaker 1: sound asleep. How would you fall asleep during that last
48:42
Speaker 1: So stayed away for the etymology, but not this? So
48:46
Speaker 1: what we all? This also makes me think of um
48:50
Speaker 1: things that people have done, and this I do know
48:53
Speaker 1: about things people have done in pursuit of enhanced sexual pleasure. Uh,
48:58
Speaker 1: including what I would call minor surgery, because yeah, guys,
49:03
Speaker 1: we can say this as dude, We'll do a lot
49:06
Speaker 1: of crazy stuff if they think it gives them just
49:09
Speaker 1: an edge switch. Don't really you have this covered there,
49:14
Speaker 1: But like you know, I mean the Prince Albert literally
49:16
Speaker 1: was created by Prince Albert. You know, you know it's
49:21
Speaker 1: obviously a piercing yeah, through the the through the urethra
49:25
Speaker 1: and out the bottom of the of the head. It's
49:29
Speaker 1: terrifying prospects not worth it, but I guess it is
49:36
Speaker 1: for some I don't know. I don't know. I don't
49:38
Speaker 1: want to yu anyone, but you know, these are some
49:42
Speaker 1: of the ones that you found, Diane. I think are
49:44
Speaker 1: maybe a little more like impermanent, yes, fortunately, but still painful.
49:49
Speaker 1: I don't know. But yeah. There's this book called Woman
49:53
Speaker 1: and Historical Gynecological and Anthropological Compendium from and it's by
50:00
Speaker 1: Hermann Heinrich Ploss, Max Bartle's and Paul Bartle's and they
50:05
Speaker 1: say that this goat eyelash cock ring thing may have
50:08
Speaker 1: originated in the Indonesian Islands and not in China, so
50:11
Speaker 1: that's a little bit in dispute. And they also noted
50:15
Speaker 1: from various tribes worldwide sex aids like inserting a brass
50:19
Speaker 1: wire into the penis or putting little gold and silver
50:24
Speaker 1: beads under its head and then binding it up with
50:27
Speaker 1: a bit of bird down to tickle the sex partner
50:30
Speaker 1: at the same time. Okay, folks out, you wouldn't put
50:35
Speaker 1: a silver ball on your penis for me. No, I
50:38
Speaker 1: don't need to hesitate on that one. That's just a
50:40
Speaker 1: flat Okay, that's fair. I wouldn't ask it of you
50:43
Speaker 1: to be fair, but thank you. Um. Yeah, so that
50:47
Speaker 1: was an option that you could do. Again, I think
50:50
Speaker 1: that's a ribbed for her pleasure thing, trying to make
50:53
Speaker 1: your dick more special, I guess, or something. I mean
50:57
Speaker 1: sticking of brass. Why, I guess that's for rigidity, right,
51:00
Speaker 1: we're thinking so you can kind of bend them into
51:03
Speaker 1: shapes like a paper clip animal. Oh oh wow, like
51:08
Speaker 1: a like a paper clip animal. Yeah, I can see
51:10
Speaker 1: how that would be possible. But I'm having a tough
51:14
Speaker 1: time with the motivation, you know what I mean, teach
51:16
Speaker 1: the exactly teach. Yes, I don't know. There might be
51:20
Speaker 1: some people out there with very fascinating little giraffes they've
51:23
Speaker 1: built out of their dicks. Well, I guess I'll look
51:26
Speaker 1: at a gallery of it, but not for long. Um, yeah,
51:30
Speaker 1: well I would. I would think also then that aside
51:33
Speaker 1: from those kind of traditions, we already see the idea
51:37
Speaker 1: of wanting to be associated with wealth like gold and silver,
51:40
Speaker 1: the beads, Um, But what about did they ever move
51:44
Speaker 1: on from the goat eyelash thing? Like? How how much
51:48
Speaker 1: of history have I missed? I guess I'm asking was
51:51
Speaker 1: this almost just like a thing that you knew about?
51:54
Speaker 1: Or like no, no, no, no, no, I mean definitely
51:57
Speaker 1: I was aware that, Like I think early condoms were
52:00
Speaker 1: made of sheep skin, But that's the that's the degree
52:05
Speaker 1: to which I was aware of using animal flesh on
52:09
Speaker 1: your member um. But then you know, then you get
52:12
Speaker 1: into what was this the Burmese bell Burmese bells. That's
52:16
Speaker 1: a kind of the next the next level of this, right. Yeah,
52:20
Speaker 1: this is another really interesting one. And this one could
52:23
Speaker 1: be placed either inside the vagina prior to sex or
52:27
Speaker 1: in the penis um. I guess it was for sale goop. Yeah, yeah,
52:33
Speaker 1: it's very good for your vaginal health. Um. But they
52:36
Speaker 1: were called exertion bell or Burmese bells. And this again
52:41
Speaker 1: we're in the Ming dynasty, so this is a lot
52:43
Speaker 1: of ancient Chinese, uh, sex aids, I guess. And they
52:47
Speaker 1: were kind of copper or gold bell or ball shaped
52:51
Speaker 1: objects that contained the sperm of a mythical Burmese bird
52:56
Speaker 1: and apparently had to catch the sperm with like a
52:58
Speaker 1: fake woman made of raw. There's like a whole sounds complicated, Yeah,
53:04
Speaker 1: a whole complicated process to getting this sperm. And the
53:08
Speaker 1: Ching scholar Chaoy describes holding one of these in his
53:12
Speaker 1: hand and he said, quote, I found that as soon
53:15
Speaker 1: as it had become a little warm, it started to
53:18
Speaker 1: move on its own account, and a tiny sound emanated
53:22
Speaker 1: from it. As soon as I put it back on
53:24
Speaker 1: the table, the sound ceased. Oh god, I hope the
53:27
Speaker 1: sound was like, oh, that would be fun. It was like,
53:34
Speaker 1: I know what you're about to do, baby. But that
53:38
Speaker 1: was the one like the bees where I was like,
53:39
Speaker 1: if something starts to jump around and make its own noise,
53:43
Speaker 1: I feel like I would not put it inside my body. Yeah.
53:46
Speaker 1: I didn't go there, Ben. I was immediately just thought
53:49
Speaker 1: this sperm is haunted sperms the man, which some people
53:58
Speaker 1: would be into. It's true. Hey, I think we've done
54:02
Speaker 1: them on this very show, or we will. Holy cow,
54:07
Speaker 1: I'm blushing. But also, you know, I learned a lot
54:10
Speaker 1: about what a ride my body, which is a temple
54:13
Speaker 1: but also apparently a playground it has been throughout history. Yeah,
54:17
Speaker 1: I learned. I I candidly learned some stuff that I
54:21
Speaker 1: can't unlearn. A lot of uh, I can't remember if
54:24
Speaker 1: this is if we already got to this part one.
54:27
Speaker 1: I think we did a lot of stuff about goats.
54:29
Speaker 1: M hm. Yeah. Yeah, it's I mean, mental images that
54:33
Speaker 1: I can't unsee, but I don't want to. I'm if
54:36
Speaker 1: I'm forever changed by them, and I'm okay. With that,
54:38
Speaker 1: you know what an experience? What what a wild ride? Well,
54:42
Speaker 1: and this is only part one, I've got to say though,
54:46
Speaker 1: I can't wait until Thursday when we get part two out. Yeah,
54:51
Speaker 1: we're definitely gonna get it out there. Um. Sorry to
54:54
Speaker 1: anyone who who this topic wasn't for you. UM, well,
54:58
Speaker 1: we'll make it up to you next week with some
55:00
Speaker 1: really really vanilla content, we promise, just kidding. We know
55:05
Speaker 1: there's no prudes in the squad. There's no prudes in
55:07
Speaker 1: the squad in the meantime, thanks to, of course, Vanilla
55:10
Speaker 1: ice Cream, thanks to our one and only super producer,
55:13
Speaker 1: the Man, the Myth, the Legend, Mr Max Williams, thanks
55:16
Speaker 1: to Casey Pegs, Vanilla Ice, thanks to Vanilla Ice, thanks
55:20
Speaker 1: to Millie Vanilli, thanks to our own Millie Vanilli. Uh,
55:24
Speaker 1: the one Man, Millie Vanilli himself, Mr Jonathan Strickland ak
55:28
Speaker 1: the Quister. What do you think about that Street Ban
55:30
Speaker 1: Street Team? You know what they call him, the one
55:32
Speaker 1: Man Millie Vanilly. Well, I mean he does not play
55:35
Speaker 1: well with others, even if there's LIPSTI can involved, So
55:38
Speaker 1: that's on him, I would say. Thanks to Alex Williams,
55:41
Speaker 1: who composed this banging Bob that you're hearing in your
55:44
Speaker 1: ears right this very second. Thanks to Christopher Haciots and Eaves,
55:47
Speaker 1: Jeff Codes here in spirit uh and most importantly, Ben,
55:50
Speaker 1: thanks thanks to you for this opportunity to go on
55:54
Speaker 1: a raunchy ride together. It was a lot of fun
55:56
Speaker 1: and there's more to come. Yeah, big, big thanks. Of
55:59
Speaker 1: course we've said it several times, but can't say enough.
56:02
Speaker 1: Big things to Eli and Diana Banks for making such
56:06
Speaker 1: a wonderful show, Big things to everybody throughout history who
56:11
Speaker 1: got horny enough to mcgiver and experience together for themselves.
56:16
Speaker 1: And of course no huge thanks to you, matt Ah,
56:19
Speaker 1: You're too kind of We'll see you next time. Books.
56:28
Speaker 1: For more podcasts for my Heart Radio, visit the i
56:30
Speaker 1: heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
56:33
Speaker 1: your favorite shows.