Latest / Scam Goddess / The Inventing Heiress with Nicole Byer (Fraud Friday)
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Scaled, Come Robbaby and Frill Scared, Come.
- 0:13Speaker 2: Robby and froll Cab Goddess. What's Popping? Congregation is Schagirl
- 0:21Speaker 2: Lacy mostly aka scam Goddess and Guys, I'm so I
- 0:25Speaker 2: always say what do we say? Say it with me?
- 0:26Speaker 2: I'm so excited for today's guests, but for real, y'all, Okay,
- 0:31Speaker 2: this is the first time that we've had a repeat guest.
- 0:34Speaker 2: Uh the one the only I think for the whole season,
- 0:38Speaker 2: this will be the only repeat guest. Guys. She is
- 0:41Speaker 2: the Emmy nominated hilarious queen, one of the amazing hosts
- 0:49Speaker 2: of Nailed It. You love her podcast, Why Won't You
- 0:52Speaker 2: Date Me? You love her podcast best Friends, you love
- 0:54Speaker 2: her and everything that you freaking see. This is Nicole
- 0:57Speaker 2: Byer Guys, what's up, Nicole Lazy?
- 1:01Speaker 3: What a beautiful intro. And I love that you tell
- 1:03Speaker 3: people to say things with you because I would love
- 1:06Speaker 3: to see someone like in their car just being like
- 1:10Speaker 3: just talking with you, feeling themselves.
- 1:13Speaker 2: I love it, right. I feel like, especially now, podcasts
- 1:16Speaker 2: are like you're just kind of talking to yourself, So
- 1:20Speaker 2: I want you to feel like I'm talking back, like
- 1:22Speaker 2: what did I say y'all so crazy. We would just
- 1:25Speaker 2: had a moment, so y'all get to keep that. Well,
- 1:29Speaker 2: we've talked about scams, Nicole and your relationship with scams,
- 1:34Speaker 2: and yes, yes, yes we talked. I remember you telling
- 1:37Speaker 2: me that you've you've fallen for some scams, right, have
- 1:40Speaker 2: I fallen?
- 1:41Speaker 3: I don't know if I fall I scammed. We talked
- 1:43Speaker 3: about me scamming my dad.
- 1:45Speaker 2: Ohkay, yeah, we did talk about you scamming your dad.
- 1:47Speaker 2: I thought it was a scam that you fell for.
- 1:48Speaker 2: Maybe I was wrong, Maybe I was wrong.
- 1:51Speaker 3: Maybe I don't remember, and I'm trying to rack my brain,
- 1:56Speaker 3: but I mean, I just bought a shitty bike from
- 1:58Speaker 3: a shitty company, and I think that that was a
- 2:00Speaker 3: fucking scam bikebury dot com. I got very drunk and
- 2:06Speaker 3: was googling bikes and you know, they paid for those
- 2:09Speaker 3: ads to pop up first, so I clicked on that
- 2:11Speaker 3: paid for ad. I found this purple bike that like
- 2:14Speaker 3: said it was a cruiser, But then I got it
- 2:16Speaker 3: there was a hole in it. So then I took
- 2:18Speaker 3: a picture there was a hole in the box, and
- 2:22Speaker 3: I sent that picture to the company and they were like, oh, well,
- 2:27Speaker 3: the thing that's poking through the box was there just
- 2:30Speaker 3: in case there was damage to the box during shipping.
- 2:32Speaker 3: I said, well, I don't know if I really want
- 2:34Speaker 3: to open the bike and like figure out other stuff
- 2:37Speaker 3: wrong with it. And they were like all right, and
- 2:39Speaker 3: you know, bat on me for not reading their return
- 2:41Speaker 3: policy where it's like you paid for the ship and back.
- 2:43Speaker 3: I don't know how much shipping is for a fucking
- 2:45Speaker 3: bike on my set. You know, it's probably probably it's
- 2:49Speaker 3: a heavy it's like seventy I don't know, not seventy pounds,
- 2:52Speaker 3: sixty pounds, forty pounds, I don't know. And then you
- 2:54Speaker 3: pay like a fifteen percent restocking fee. And I was like,
- 2:57Speaker 3: so I'm still gonna be out like fifty sixty maybe
- 2:59Speaker 3: eighty on this two hundred dollars bike. I might as
- 3:02Speaker 3: well just put it together. Put it together. This thing
- 3:06Speaker 3: is so fucking janky, like the gears just twist around.
- 3:10Speaker 3: And I didn't put it together. I can't do that shit.
- 3:12Speaker 2: I had a man, did you put it together? I
- 3:15Speaker 2: was about to be like, okay, this is that. That
- 3:19Speaker 2: was the scam right there.
- 3:20Speaker 3: You put the bike together, had a man put it together,
- 3:24Speaker 3: and he was like he followed the directions to a
- 3:26Speaker 3: tea and we could like the gears just spin. It
- 3:29Speaker 3: is such a shitty bike. So then I post about
- 3:31Speaker 3: how shitty it was and they're like, well, we started
- 3:34Speaker 3: a return for you, and I was like, yeah, but
- 3:36Speaker 3: I also told you I was gonna open it and
- 3:38Speaker 3: see how it was. And I opened it and this
- 3:40Speaker 3: is a piece of shit bike. I'm very entitled to
- 3:42Speaker 3: that opinion. And I'm like, so now you want me
- 3:44Speaker 3: to disassemble it, put this fucking shitty ass bike back
- 3:47Speaker 3: in the box. You want me to pay fifteen percent? No,
- 3:50Speaker 3: I'm just gonna donate it. Jacobaizaki was like, you should
- 3:53Speaker 3: donate it, and I was like, oh, yes, so I
- 3:54Speaker 3: might be able to use the frame because the frame
- 3:57Speaker 3: isn't bad.
- 3:57Speaker 2: The wheels are bad, the handles are bad. I thought
- 3:59Speaker 2: you were saying you're gonna donated to a place where
- 4:01Speaker 2: it was like gonna be some little keyd riding this
- 4:03Speaker 2: junky ass bike. I'm like to go that right.
- 4:06Speaker 3: Imagine I donated to like kids and need a bike
- 4:11Speaker 3: and then they die on this Bikeberry dot Com bike.
- 4:16Speaker 2: Also, I feel like a bike is something that most
- 4:18Speaker 2: people buy in person. Am I crazy? I feel like
- 4:20Speaker 2: this is very ambitious of you to like buy a
- 4:23Speaker 2: not a do it yourself bike.
- 4:26Speaker 3: I know, I know. It was very ambitious. I thought
- 4:29Speaker 3: I was getting a good deal. But you get what
- 4:31Speaker 3: you pay for. Uh.
- 4:33Speaker 2: John was like.
- 4:34Speaker 3: My roommate was like, yeah, you have to go sit
- 4:36Speaker 3: on the bike and see it in person.
- 4:38Speaker 2: I suck.
- 4:39Speaker 3: All right, I give up, I'll go I'll go sit
- 4:41Speaker 3: on a bike another day.
- 4:44Speaker 2: I think that's the right choice, because look, I won't
- 4:46Speaker 2: even do a sour dough starter. So you are very brave.
- 4:49Speaker 2: You are very brave to buy a whole bike in
- 4:51Speaker 2: a box. It's my bike and a box. It's a
- 4:54Speaker 2: bike and my box. Oh goodness. Let's get into what's
- 4:58Speaker 2: hot and fraud. I need to name Nicole for this person.
- 5:03Speaker 2: Mm hmmm. This person probably identifies as a woman, but
- 5:07Speaker 2: I don't care. You can it can be any name
- 5:09Speaker 2: you want in the world. Okay. I love that you're
- 5:14Speaker 2: really giving this a lot of thought.
- 5:16Speaker 3: Okay, you just just a name, just a name for
- 5:20Speaker 3: a person. Okay, let's call her Teresa. What a basic name?
- 5:28Speaker 3: You did all that, I think all that time, and
- 5:31Speaker 3: I came up with Teresa. No, she'll sh Shamika. That's
- 5:36Speaker 3: my cousin.
- 5:38Speaker 2: I like, I know some Shamika's. They're nice, most of them.
- 5:41Speaker 2: They can fight. Can your cousin fight? Does she does?
- 5:44Speaker 2: She look like you can fight.
- 5:45Speaker 3: I think Shamika could take you on on a fight.
- 5:47Speaker 2: She's tall.
- 5:48Speaker 3: Oh, Okay, she's a tall woman.
- 5:50Speaker 2: I've never met a Shamika that couldn't fight, so that
- 5:54Speaker 2: that's just something they're skilled that. Okay, it's not the
- 5:56Speaker 2: wrong with that. So Shamika says, I did this scam
- 5:59Speaker 2: a decade ago when I was a young, broke adult
- 6:01Speaker 2: and it worked out well at the time. Okay, she says,
- 6:04Speaker 2: in my state home state of Montana, Smika. Okay, Shemika
- 6:09Speaker 2: is definitely white. I just looked at the Google photos
- 6:16Speaker 2: said also, she said my homestate of Montana, and that
- 6:18Speaker 2: made me shoot my eyes back up to the photo
- 6:20Speaker 2: because I was like, yeah, is there black in Montana.
- 6:23Speaker 3: I went to Billings, Montana once, and to get to Billings, Montana,
- 6:28Speaker 3: I think I flew to whatever their capital is or
- 6:31Speaker 3: whatever their big city is, and then got on the
- 6:33Speaker 3: tiniest fucking plane to get to Billings and the black
- 6:36Speaker 3: flight attendant looked at me as I got on the
- 6:38Speaker 3: plane and said honey, you going to the right place.
- 6:40Speaker 2: And I was like, well, if she's asking, I don't know.
- 6:43Speaker 3: Then I got there and I was like, m now
- 6:45Speaker 3: I know why she was.
- 6:46Speaker 2: She was worried about me. She started smiling and the
- 6:48Speaker 2: tears came. Yes. She was like no, no, no, no
- 6:51Speaker 2: no yes, she was no, no, no, Get get off
- 6:54Speaker 2: the plane, get out. I feel like you went to
- 6:57Speaker 2: one of those towns where like they have a popular
- 7:00Speaker 2: sign and then it like goes up when you get there.
- 7:03Speaker 3: Yep, uh huh, I goes right back down when I
- 7:05Speaker 3: left the next day.
- 7:07Speaker 2: Were you there for work or something? Why were you? Okay?
- 7:10Speaker 3: I was doing a show at a college. College shows
- 7:12Speaker 3: have truly taken me to the wildest, most racist, smallest
- 7:18Speaker 3: towns I've ever been to.
- 7:19Speaker 2: And it's funny because they hired you. Correct now, now,
- 7:23Speaker 2: I'm you are very funny and you're very talented and
- 7:25Speaker 2: very beautiful and the cole But part of me wonders
- 7:27Speaker 2: if they hired you because they were like, this is
- 7:29Speaker 2: our one chance to lay eyes on a black person.
- 7:31Speaker 2: We're gonna have to pay them, but they will come.
- 7:34Speaker 3: A lot of campuses are pretty liberal, like you'll be
- 7:39Speaker 3: smack dab in the middle of like Confederate flag country,
- 7:42Speaker 3: like I was in Arizona, got off the plane, tons
- 7:45Speaker 3: of Trump flags. This is in twenty fifteen, and like,
- 7:49Speaker 3: you know, Confederate flags. I saw like a people of
- 7:51Speaker 3: swastika somewhere and then got to the campus and it
- 7:54Speaker 3: was like hippy dippy people with like neon hair, and
- 7:57Speaker 3: I was.
- 7:58Speaker 2: Like, what the fuck did I do.
- 8:00Speaker 3: It's so it's like once you crossed over into the college,
- 8:02Speaker 3: they're like higher learning, We're inclusive, we want to love everybody.
- 8:07Speaker 3: So but also maybe it is just to see a
- 8:10Speaker 3: black one one time.
- 8:12Speaker 2: I'm sure it was because you're very funny, but also
- 8:16Speaker 2: I'm sure afterwards they were like, Wow, that's what it's like, guys,
- 8:20Speaker 2: a black person. Oh my god. Did you do meet
- 8:23Speaker 2: in person?
- 8:24Speaker 3: Uh?
- 8:25Speaker 2: Yeah, I usually do meet. They got to talk to you.
- 8:28Speaker 2: They did. They did.
- 8:29Speaker 3: In one college, a woman gave me lotion and I
- 8:32Speaker 3: was like, is this a dig?
- 8:35Speaker 2: I was like, am I?
- 8:37Speaker 3: I guess I'm notoriously ashy. I always post pictures and
- 8:40Speaker 3: I look so ashy. And it was a white lady
- 8:42Speaker 3: and I was like, oh no, if they know, no,
- 8:45Speaker 3: not if they know.
- 8:45Speaker 2: Look, white people don't know about ashness. They don't know
- 8:47Speaker 2: about it, but I will say that Jaquith says that
- 8:52Speaker 2: it's racist when people don't have lotion in the bathroom
- 8:55Speaker 2: because black people need lotion after they wash their hands.
- 8:57Speaker 2: So maybe maybe she was just trying to help you out.
- 9:00Speaker 3: Maybe maybe she was. She was like, there's no lotion
- 9:03Speaker 3: in Billings, Montana. Not one Walmart carries a single drop
- 9:06Speaker 3: of lotion.
- 9:10Speaker 2: White people do need lotion. They do, but they don't
- 9:13Speaker 2: know that they need it. Oh you know what, now
- 9:15Speaker 2: it's their chance, y'all lotion. Everybody needs it? Yes, everybody. Wait,
- 9:20Speaker 2: here's the indication. Okay, I think this is gonna be
- 9:22Speaker 2: indicative if she was being shady. Was it like a fragrant,
- 9:25Speaker 2: like a nice lotion or did she give you some jargons?
- 9:30Speaker 3: No, it was actually very nice lotion. I cannot say
- 9:32Speaker 3: the name of the company. I've been laughed at before.
- 9:36Speaker 3: Leoctane lost Oh my.
- 9:39Speaker 2: God, yep, no, no, no, no, listen. I didn't know either.
- 9:44Speaker 2: I had a boyfriend in college and he spoke fluent
- 9:46Speaker 2: French and one time I was like, oh, I love
- 9:48Speaker 2: Octane was.
- 9:52Speaker 3: I was like, oh, luxititumb that's so I'll never remember
- 9:56Speaker 3: that name luxit doom.
- 9:57Speaker 2: What a treat lux it dom rolls off your tongue
- 10:00Speaker 2: though you're giving me face, remember it? Well, No, that
- 10:05Speaker 2: she was trying to flegs. She went and got you
- 10:06Speaker 2: some good lotion. I think that was a shade. That
- 10:09Speaker 2: was a shade.
- 10:10Speaker 3: Okay, she was being nice, all right.
- 10:12Speaker 2: So back to Shamika, who was definitely white. She says,
- 10:17Speaker 2: in my state of Montana, we have a quit line
- 10:19Speaker 2: you can call for free anti smoking items like gum
- 10:23Speaker 2: and patches. I took it upon myself to call the
- 10:26Speaker 2: quit line and have the short conversation about my smoking habits.
- 10:30Speaker 2: They agreed to send me the patches, and every two
- 10:32Speaker 2: weeks I need to have a fifteen minute conversation with
- 10:35Speaker 2: them to check in on how I'm doing. That's interesting
- 10:39Speaker 2: to me because it's like, if people want to quit,
- 10:40Speaker 2: then why do I need to Like they're like, oh, hey, yeah,
- 10:42Speaker 2: you want to quit. So how was this week? How
- 10:45Speaker 2: many cigarettes did you have? How much to like, how
- 10:48Speaker 2: much tobacco did you lick on?
- 10:49Speaker 1: Like?
- 10:50Speaker 2: What is this conversation? Lick up? Well, quitting is very hard.
- 10:54Speaker 3: I've tried to quit smoking, uh no, less than four times,
- 10:58Speaker 3: ten times one hundred times.
- 11:00Speaker 2: Uh, and it's hard. I will say that I was
- 11:03Speaker 2: never into smoking cigarettes, but for a four month period,
- 11:07Speaker 2: I was jeweling like I was a fifteen year old.
- 11:15Speaker 3: Well yeah, you just puff on them inside. It was
- 11:17Speaker 3: that's so wild that you weren't a smoker, but you
- 11:19Speaker 3: were like, but jewel, I'll do that, tell.
- 11:22Speaker 2: Me because you know, we do comedy and we'll be
- 11:24Speaker 2: outside of bars and shit afterwards, and you know, you
- 11:26Speaker 2: have a few drinks and then people would be like
- 11:28Speaker 2: jeweling and I'd be like, sometimes back in the day,
- 11:29Speaker 2: I would like bum a cigarette. So it wasn't like
- 11:31Speaker 2: a big deal to like, you know, do that. So
- 11:34Speaker 2: I was like, oh, shuel. Then I was like, oh,
- 11:36Speaker 2: it's not sanitary, just like puff someone else's jewel. I'll
- 11:38Speaker 2: just go grab my own for whenever. And then I
- 11:41Speaker 2: meg up and the call, I kid, you not jewel
- 11:45Speaker 2: pods everywhere like fucking chargers everywhere. And I didn't know
- 11:49Speaker 2: when I had become this person. I had a jewel
- 11:52Speaker 2: charger in my car, so I really plug it in
- 11:56Speaker 2: my car and keep the jewel charged all day. I
- 11:59Speaker 2: had no idea idea that I was so ridiculously addicted
- 12:02Speaker 2: to it.
- 12:02Speaker 3: So the commercials are real when there's a team that's
- 12:05Speaker 3: like it started with one puff and next thing I
- 12:08Speaker 3: knew my life revolved around jewel.
- 12:10Speaker 2: I was sucking dick for jewel, like it.
- 12:14Speaker 3: You know, that's when times it was rough, when you
- 12:17Speaker 3: were sucking dick for a cigarette or a jewel.
- 12:21Speaker 2: They're not cheap either, And those pods are not cheap.
- 12:24Speaker 2: How much are those pods? Those pods? Depending on what
- 12:26Speaker 2: story you're going to, some stores will really rip you
- 12:28Speaker 2: off and they'll be like thirty five for a four pack, yam,
- 12:31Speaker 2: and then some places it's twenty seven for a four pack.
- 12:35Speaker 3: Damn. You know, I missed the days where you could
- 12:37Speaker 3: share a cigarette with a friend or drink after a friend.
- 12:41Speaker 2: Never again, Never again.
- 12:43Speaker 3: We was fucking nasty now, like you know, like now
- 12:46Speaker 3: that I think about it, like I kind of like
- 12:48Speaker 3: wearing a mask, especially like working, because like people get
- 12:52Speaker 3: so close to you, to mike you, and now it's
- 12:53Speaker 3: so nice that like we're not breathing on each other.
- 12:56Speaker 2: I think it's great. I also think it's a wake
- 12:58Speaker 2: up call to people who had hot ass bread and
- 13:01Speaker 2: we can never tell people that they breath hot, Like
- 13:03Speaker 2: can we normalize telling people that their breath as hot
- 13:05Speaker 2: as fuck, because there's people sending my eyelashes off and
- 13:09Speaker 2: now I know they gotta smell that. They gotta have
- 13:10Speaker 2: it own, not just right back up.
- 13:14Speaker 3: And there I was at a protest and I was like,
- 13:17Speaker 3: oh no, I think I have bad breath. And then
- 13:20Speaker 3: so she was like, did you wash? When's the last
- 13:22Speaker 3: time you washed your mask? And I was like wash.
- 13:28Speaker 2: But now I'm in it. I'm in the game. I
- 13:30Speaker 2: realize it's like.
- 13:32Speaker 3: Clothing, you gotta wash it every couple of days.
- 13:34Speaker 2: So I'm in it. Yes, I've had I've had to
- 13:36Speaker 2: go out with a funky mask once or twice and
- 13:38Speaker 2: I was like, this is fucking torture. Just it's awful scarce.
- 13:46Speaker 1: God.
- 13:48Speaker 2: But yeah, so, oh my god, I've never admitted. Am
- 13:50Speaker 2: I gonna maybe I'll cut that out. About the duel thing.
- 13:52Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm ready to tell you guys
- 13:53Speaker 2: that I was doing that, but I was, I was.
- 13:56Speaker 2: I guess I'll be honest. I mean, you don't have to.
- 13:58Speaker 2: Don't do juil. You don't want the information out there.
- 14:01Speaker 3: I rarely talk about smoking because people look down on
- 14:05Speaker 3: you so much and they're like, just quit it's not good.
- 14:09Speaker 3: And I'm like, you don't think I know we're in
- 14:11Speaker 3: a pandemic and I'm hiding in my house because I'm
- 14:14Speaker 3: more susceptible.
- 14:15Speaker 2: To like I have bad lungs. I know, I know
- 14:18Speaker 2: what I've been doing, right, And it's like and people,
- 14:20Speaker 2: but that's what Maybe this will be a cautionary tale
- 14:22Speaker 2: for someone out there. Guys, don't jewel. Don't jewel, it's bad.
- 14:25Speaker 2: Don't jewel. Don't start. Don't start, No for real, don't start.
- 14:28Speaker 3: It's like I had to learn how to smoke. I'm
- 14:31Speaker 3: not an inherent smoker, so I would like sit in
- 14:34Speaker 3: my garage and like inhale and then cough and then
- 14:38Speaker 3: slowly inhale halfway hold the other half in my mouth.
- 14:42Speaker 2: It was why for what?
- 14:44Speaker 3: And now it's you know, twenty dollars every couple days,
- 14:48Speaker 3: just so I can get my little fixed.
- 14:50Speaker 2: Oh, it's a thank you, Big Tobacco. That's a scam, right, oh,
- 14:55Speaker 2: the biggest, one of the biggest. It's crazy that Big
- 14:57Speaker 2: Tobacco also pays for all the ads that warn you
- 15:00Speaker 2: about cigarettes. Because that's like doy, that's like they're rule,
- 15:04Speaker 2: like there are a thing with the government is like
- 15:06Speaker 2: Philip Morris, like they have to pay for those ads.
- 15:09Speaker 2: They pay for the truth. Yes, with the little black
- 15:11Speaker 2: kids like I would never smoke because I can't let
- 15:14Speaker 2: my hood down. And now we about to dance play basketball?
- 15:22Speaker 2: Why are those commercials like that.
- 15:24Speaker 3: That? I mean, yeah, black commercials. Sometimes I'm like, who
- 15:28Speaker 3: did this? Was it a black person or is this
- 15:30Speaker 3: a white person projecting what they think black culture is.
- 15:34Speaker 2: If you want to see a TV show where you
- 15:36Speaker 2: can very much tell where everyone on it was white
- 15:40Speaker 2: who was writing for the black people? I highly recommend
- 15:44Speaker 2: In the Dark. I think that's what it's called on Netflix.
- 15:46Speaker 2: That's the show about the blind woman who becomes a detective.
- 15:52Speaker 2: They don't even.
- 15:53Speaker 3: Sound right, but I'm not being ablest, but maybe I
- 15:58Speaker 3: am being ablest.
- 15:59Speaker 2: I feel like that would be just a real uphill.
- 16:01Speaker 2: Bad it is, and that's why the show was fun
- 16:03Speaker 2: to watch, because you're watching her like she's impressive, but
- 16:06Speaker 2: then she she saw in the murder of her her
- 16:09Speaker 2: little black friend who saved her once from a mugging.
- 16:13Speaker 2: But he's a drug dealer. But like he's clearly a
- 16:16Speaker 2: British actor and the whole thing is written by white people.
- 16:21Speaker 2: You can just tell that they never they'd never heard
- 16:23Speaker 2: of drug dealers before they did. They probably watched the
- 16:26Speaker 2: wire a little bit, and we're like, I can do that.
- 16:29Speaker 3: I once did a McDonald's commercial where McDonald's, you know,
- 16:34Speaker 3: perhaps to them, they have a whole website four black people.
- 16:37Speaker 3: It's called McDonald's three sixty five and they and it's
- 16:41Speaker 3: like they talk about black history all year round.
- 16:44Speaker 2: But I that's.
- 16:45Speaker 3: How, you know. But I did this voiceover. It was
- 16:51Speaker 3: me and uh two or three other black women, and
- 16:56Speaker 3: I don't remember if I had auditioned for it, but
- 16:58Speaker 3: they were like, all right, let's go for it. And
- 17:00Speaker 3: my line was don't steal my French fries. So I
- 17:02Speaker 3: said don't steal my French fries, and they were like
- 17:04Speaker 3: can you? And then I was like, sass it up.
- 17:07Speaker 3: And then the other women laughed and I was like.
- 17:08Speaker 2: Don't steal my French fries.
- 17:10Speaker 3: And then the other women sounded just like me, and
- 17:13Speaker 3: they were like a girl, that's my call.
- 17:17Speaker 2: I'm gonna keep it in a French fry year.
- 17:20Speaker 3: And then after all three of us did it like that,
- 17:24Speaker 3: the whoever, I guess it was, whoever, like the producers
- 17:28Speaker 3: or whatever, the buyers were like, Okay, let's just go
- 17:30Speaker 3: back to your normal voices. And I was like point made.
- 17:33Speaker 3: I like, I love that we made that point because
- 17:35Speaker 3: it was like, if you want a minstrel show, that's
- 17:39Speaker 3: what you can have, or you can have like just
- 17:42Speaker 3: three black women talking.
- 17:45Speaker 2: It was why I'm gonna take that with me because
- 17:47Speaker 2: that is an excellent wage. Not who's also like, why
- 17:51Speaker 2: are the lines like y'all getting robbed? Your bet don't?
- 17:57Speaker 2: Because I know you, like what why are you getting
- 18:01Speaker 2: robbed in this commercial?
- 18:04Speaker 3: So sheher has a pretty good joke about it. I
- 18:06Speaker 3: can't remember. It was like the Black Blinds to Go
- 18:08Speaker 3: where it was like.
- 18:09Speaker 2: You can't see in my house.
- 18:10Speaker 3: It was based on a commercial. And then I have
- 18:13Speaker 3: a joke about McDonald's and how my god. Sometimes they're
- 18:17Speaker 3: just like my baby daddy took me to get a
- 18:18Speaker 3: mc rib and I was like they both back and
- 18:21Speaker 3: You're like.
- 18:21Speaker 2: What fu fuck they go back.
- 18:25Speaker 1: I'm leaving.
- 18:26Speaker 2: I'm leaving. I have to go home, and I'm at home,
- 18:32Speaker 2: So guys, what a wild tangent. But to wrap up
- 18:36Speaker 2: Shamika White Shamika's letter, uh huh. White Shamika says after
- 18:41Speaker 2: she would have her conversations where she talked about how
- 18:43Speaker 2: hard it was, and actually we just talked about how
- 18:45Speaker 2: hard it is, and so I understand these conversations now.
- 18:49Speaker 2: She said, I received all three stages of patches, not
- 18:52Speaker 2: sure how many in total, but as soon as I
- 18:53Speaker 2: got them, I put them up for sale on eBay,
- 18:56Speaker 2: and I had no problem selling them for thirty or
- 18:58Speaker 2: forty dollars a box. I know I made a few
- 19:00Speaker 2: hundred dollars doing this, and eventually I just ignored their
- 19:03Speaker 2: calls and quit getting the patches. I'm terrible, signed Shamika.
- 19:10Speaker 2: Just in case you forgot what we were talking about
- 19:12Speaker 2: when we went on these tangents. I did Shamika maybe
- 19:17Speaker 2: never smoked cigarettes, or if she did, she didn't quit,
- 19:21Speaker 2: or she just called the quit line, got the very
- 19:25Speaker 2: expensive free quitting materials, and then she went to eBay
- 19:29Speaker 2: and she slanged them.
- 19:31Speaker 3: You know, I don't knock the hustle.
- 19:34Speaker 2: I really don't, Shamika. I fucks with you like I think,
- 19:38Speaker 2: come on in Montana. Yes, get it, Shamika.
- 19:42Speaker 3: I think Shamika is an entrepreneur.
- 19:44Speaker 2: Yes, she's a what are they calling when you're a
- 19:46Speaker 2: woman entrepreneur? A entrepreneur. I thought we had a word
- 19:49Speaker 2: for that, do we were? We just put her in
- 19:52Speaker 2: it or something? Entrepreneur?
- 19:58Speaker 3: Entrepreneur truly sounds like something wrong with like a herniated disc.
- 20:01Speaker 2: Yeah, oh disc. Yeah, you're right. It's not very motivating, don't.
- 20:05Speaker 2: We don't need that one. So this is my favorite
- 20:10Speaker 2: segment of the show, Historic Hoodwinks, where I will regale
- 20:13Speaker 2: Emmy nominated Nicole Byer with I just have to sprinkle
- 20:17Speaker 2: it in like seasoning a.
- 20:18Speaker 3: Little bit, because honestly, it truly is such a wild thing.
- 20:22Speaker 2: Who would have thought I would have? Who would have thought?
- 20:26Speaker 2: Black Queen? I love it. So I'm gonna regale her
- 20:29Speaker 2: with the Historic Hoodwink and we're just gonna get her
- 20:31Speaker 2: thoughts and opinions along the way. Today we're talking about
- 20:35Speaker 2: a man named Jonathan Walton, a producer on American Ninja Warrior.
- 20:39Speaker 2: That's that show where the athletic people hurt themselves. Yeah,
- 20:45Speaker 2: and they do an obstacle course, so you watch it
- 20:48Speaker 2: hoping that they fall. Yes. So he was conned out
- 20:52Speaker 2: of nearly ninety thousand dollars by his best friend. Gonna
- 20:55Speaker 2: put that in quotes Mayor Smythe mayor claimed to be
- 21:00Speaker 2: a royal Irish heiress waiting to inherit five million euros.
- 21:05Speaker 3: So wait a minute. If I ever met somebody, if
- 21:10Speaker 3: I ever met somebody who was like, just see you know,
- 21:13Speaker 3: I'm an heiress and I'm gonna inherit five million dollars,
- 21:16Speaker 3: I'd be like, so you good with money?
- 21:18Speaker 2: I don't have to give you shit, right, good, you're
- 21:21Speaker 2: about to get it. But I'm about to get it though, girl, Like,
- 21:23Speaker 2: I just need the texts and fees.
- 21:26Speaker 3: No, don't worry about it. You can pay for all
- 21:27Speaker 3: that once you get your inheritance.
- 21:30Speaker 2: So I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you some things that
- 21:32Speaker 2: are gonna make more sense as to why maybe this
- 21:34Speaker 2: worked on him. Okay, So the first time that Jonathan,
- 21:37Speaker 2: who was forty five, met this woman who became his
- 21:40Speaker 2: best friend and turned into his worst enemy, obviously, she
- 21:43Speaker 2: was offering to help with his building's pool. So Walton
- 21:47Speaker 2: lived in a bunker Hill apartment complex in downtown Los Angeles.
- 21:50Speaker 2: Where is bunker Hill here? I don't know where bunker
- 21:53Speaker 2: Hill is, but it says downtown LA. I don't live
- 21:56Speaker 2: down there, so it says they lost access to their
- 21:58Speaker 2: stunning pool. Amid a dispute with another building. These are
- 22:01Speaker 2: a Champagne problems. So we're like, we lost the pool. Also,
- 22:05Speaker 2: what do you mean to dispute with another building? Y'all
- 22:08Speaker 2: was fighting that building. I really want to imagine people
- 22:13Speaker 2: punching brick, but I know that's not what's happening. So
- 22:17Speaker 2: when Walton, an earnest and animated former news reporter, held
- 22:21Speaker 2: a meeting about the incident in his living room, about
- 22:24Speaker 2: thirty people showed up because they're trying to get the
- 22:26Speaker 2: pool back. Guys, I guess. So that meeting is where
- 22:30Speaker 2: he met forty something year old woman with jet black
- 22:32Speaker 2: hair in a pixie cut. Ooh, she's a manic pixie
- 22:35Speaker 2: dream girl who soon took charge of the conversation. She
- 22:40Speaker 2: was dressed in pastel colored clothes, shoes that looks high end,
- 22:45Speaker 2: and she spoke with the slightest trace of an accent,
- 22:48Speaker 2: which I'm assuming is an Irish accent, which is a
- 22:50Speaker 2: hard accent to do.
- 22:52Speaker 3: Yeah, did you just like a trace of I would
- 22:54Speaker 3: think it's harder than just fully getting into it.
- 22:58Speaker 2: The only think saying I want the pool to come back.
- 23:02Speaker 3: I don't whoop whoop wood.
- 23:05Speaker 2: That was really good. That was better than anything I
- 23:08Speaker 2: could do. I literally went to They're magically delicious, like
- 23:14Speaker 2: I could never they.
- 23:15Speaker 3: Stole me like of charms and took away at my pool.
- 23:20Speaker 2: Well this worked. Also, I feel like he must have
- 23:23Speaker 2: equated her just casually wearing pastels as someone who's like rich.
- 23:28Speaker 2: I'm trying to think. I don't see a lot of people,
- 23:30Speaker 2: just like unless you're at Coachella, you don't just see
- 23:33Speaker 2: people who are walking around in full past not like
- 23:36Speaker 2: head to toe in pastel.
- 23:38Speaker 3: But now I'm thinking about maybe I gotta get more
- 23:41Speaker 3: pastel in my life.
- 23:42Speaker 2: Right? Is that how I shall people?
- 23:43Speaker 3: I'm a real fancy holl is me like I got
- 23:47Speaker 3: manny I'm wearing lavender?
- 23:48Speaker 2: Maybe because I really don't see it that often. So.
- 23:52Speaker 2: She said during her conversation where she had taken over
- 23:56Speaker 2: that she was a luxury travel agent and her boyfriend
- 23:59Speaker 2: was a prominent real estate lawyer. She said that she
- 24:01Speaker 2: had sued their own apartment complex a couple of times,
- 24:05Speaker 2: and one, oh, how do you ever needed to sue
- 24:07Speaker 2: your apartment? Well, I mean you live in a house,
- 24:09Speaker 2: but when you lived in an apartment, did you need
- 24:11Speaker 2: to sue them?
- 24:12Speaker 3: No? No, no, no no. Although my landlord. Oh maybe
- 24:18Speaker 3: I talked about this last time. My landlord was running
- 24:21Speaker 3: a scam, so he was like, you can give me
- 24:23Speaker 3: or the super your rent. And then a couple of
- 24:26Speaker 3: years down the line, there was a note on the
- 24:29Speaker 3: building that was like, do not let Lewis in the building.
- 24:31Speaker 3: He was in buzzling money. And then in the paper
- 24:33Speaker 3: we were like, oh shit, Yeah, he was like in
- 24:35Speaker 3: buzzling money and send his kids to private school, which
- 24:37Speaker 3: I was.
- 24:37Speaker 2: Like, you know, that's nice. That's a nice kid. You
- 24:41Speaker 2: know that's nice. We need to children, let them lead
- 24:44Speaker 2: the way.
- 24:46Speaker 3: Yes, but no, I've never had to sue my apartment.
- 24:48Speaker 3: I don't pay rent. I never paid rent on time.
- 24:51Speaker 3: This is the first time in my life where I've
- 24:52Speaker 3: paid my living expenses on time because it comes out
- 24:55Speaker 3: of my bank account.
- 24:56Speaker 2: Oh right, because it's like auto withdraw. Yeah, I'm childish.
- 24:59Speaker 2: I won't that, and I know that I could withdraw
- 25:02Speaker 2: forever and I'd probably be fine. But I every month,
- 25:04Speaker 2: I just get the email and I begrudgingly go over
- 25:07Speaker 2: there and like hit the payment button. And I don't
- 25:10Speaker 2: know why I do it. I think I get like
- 25:12Speaker 2: high from it. Sometimes I'll wait because I only get
- 25:14Speaker 2: till the third. I don't even get till the fifth
- 25:16Speaker 2: before you get a late fees. So I'm like, you
- 25:18Speaker 2: only get to the third third, girl, they don't play.
- 25:22Speaker 3: My apartment in New York, when I finally moved out,
- 25:24Speaker 3: I would also never pay rent on time. I would
- 25:27Speaker 3: pay like three months at a time. After the three months,
- 25:30Speaker 3: and then when I finally moved out, they were like,
- 25:32Speaker 3: your last month of rent is due. And I was like,
- 25:35Speaker 3: that's why you bitches have security and they're like, no,
- 25:38Speaker 3: the security's covering all your late fees.
- 25:40Speaker 2: And I was like, I don't.
- 25:41Speaker 3: Live here no more, so I this is pay dable.
- 25:45Speaker 2: You really are a scammer. She was like, that's why
- 25:47Speaker 2: you got that deposit, but bye mate. So she's very charismatic.
- 25:53Speaker 2: She's bantering with the neighbors. She sued the building a
- 25:56Speaker 2: bunch of times. I imagine her going to like Judge
- 25:58Speaker 2: Joe Brown suing the apartment building. I hope that's where
- 26:01Speaker 2: it happened, and her story is that she in time
- 26:05Speaker 2: would also mention that she was palsed with Ashley Judd
- 26:08Speaker 2: and show him a closet full of allegedly thousand dollars
- 26:11Speaker 2: designer shoes and share that she had a psychic gift. Now,
- 26:16Speaker 2: I know what you're thinking. If you met somebody and
- 26:19Speaker 2: they were like, hey, I'll be sawing my apartment buility
- 26:21Speaker 2: every other Thursday. I own thousand dollars shoes. Ashley Judd
- 26:26Speaker 2: is my homegirl, and also I'm a psychic. Like, if
- 26:31Speaker 2: you heard all of that at one time, you would
- 26:32Speaker 2: be like, bitch, what's going on?
- 26:34Speaker 3: I would be like, I should stay away.
- 26:37Speaker 2: From this fucking person. This is too much. But they
- 26:39Speaker 2: were friends for four years before she scammed him.
- 26:44Speaker 3: Honestly, bravo, this is bravo.
- 26:47Speaker 2: What a long time, right. I was very impressed. So
- 26:50Speaker 2: I get how over the years, if you have a
- 26:53Speaker 2: casual conversation, like my homegirl would be like, girl, you
- 26:55Speaker 2: know I'm a brew ha, And I wouldn't think that's crazy.
- 26:57Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, you're a brewha. But I know
- 26:59Speaker 2: her for years. I was like, sure, you're a brewhaw.
- 27:01Speaker 2: She hasn't asked me for ninety thousand dollars yet, but beware, right,
- 27:06Speaker 2: but she has shown me some nice clothes, she is
- 27:07Speaker 2: friends with some famous people, and she's a brewhaw. So
- 27:10Speaker 2: technically I already know somebody like this I'm just saying
- 27:14Speaker 2: she worked it in a way. I was like, all
- 27:16Speaker 2: seems legit seems normal. So she unwound her story over
- 27:21Speaker 2: many many meetings, like we were just talking about and
- 27:23Speaker 2: later on, in a visit to her apartment, Walton glimpsed
- 27:26Speaker 2: at a small frame printed on what Smith said was
- 27:30Speaker 2: the Constitution of Ireland. So it's her last name is Smith.
- 27:33Speaker 2: So he looked at this frame and then he was like,
- 27:35Speaker 2: what is this And he was like, oh, this is
- 27:37Speaker 2: the Constitution of Ireland, you know, casual hanging in my
- 27:40Speaker 2: living room. She said that her great uncle had signed it,
- 27:43Speaker 2: she explained, pointing out his signature. Later, she said that
- 27:47Speaker 2: the same great uncle had just died and stood to inherit.
- 27:51Speaker 2: She's sit inherent part of his twenty five million dollar
- 27:53Speaker 2: euro or excuse me, a million euro inheritance, which is
- 27:57Speaker 2: about twenty seven point five million dollars mm hmm. So,
- 28:01Speaker 2: in keeping with her image as a wealthy and worldly heiress,
- 28:05Speaker 2: she occasionally showed Walton texts and emails from her friends,
- 28:08Speaker 2: like Ashley Judd, whom she had met in college. Ashley,
- 28:11Speaker 2: I'm so sorry.
- 28:14Speaker 3: Yeah, truly that her name is dragged all over this.
- 28:17Speaker 2: Also like, is she like read labeling somebody's number in
- 28:21Speaker 2: her phone Ashley Judd and texting her fribubly.
- 28:25Speaker 3: But also what a wild person to pick no shade
- 28:29Speaker 3: to Ashley Judd. But she's not well, I guess, honestly,
- 28:33Speaker 3: what a smart peck because she's not super famous. But
- 28:36Speaker 3: like we all know Ashley Judd's name.
- 28:38Speaker 2: Well, didn't Harvey Weinstein her career? I think that's why
- 28:43Speaker 2: Ashley Judd, girl, I could be absolutely wrong about that.
- 28:46Speaker 2: Let me say allegedly allegedly, and by allegedly, I mean
- 28:50Speaker 2: I thought that. But last time I came on here
- 28:54Speaker 2: and I said that Michael Jackson's song at the end
- 28:56Speaker 2: where they go Mama Sam and Masada Mama Gusa, I
- 28:59Speaker 2: was like, it's actually words, guys, it means I'm gonna
- 29:01Speaker 2: keep going on. I'm not gonna stop. I'm gonna keep going.
- 29:06Speaker 2: I definitely don't anybody that was true And they're like, no,
- 29:09Speaker 2: it's not.
- 29:11Speaker 3: That is I love that you just up on her
- 29:13Speaker 3: lying of people. People be telling their friends facts that
- 29:16Speaker 3: they learn from Lacy and then they're like, girl, that's
- 29:19Speaker 3: not it, that's not no, she's lying to you that.
- 29:22Speaker 2: The scam facts are true, guys, we researched. I swear,
- 29:25Speaker 2: but anything that I say off the cuff could be
- 29:29Speaker 2: a lie. But it's not a lie. I believe it.
- 29:32Speaker 2: I remember. That's how the truth works. I taught you at.
- 29:34Speaker 3: That's what I honestly believe.
- 29:37Speaker 2: So due to her family's money, she said that she
- 29:39Speaker 2: didn't need a job, but preferred to keep busy, working
- 29:42Speaker 2: for luxury tour operators uh sure, Pacific Islands dot com
- 29:47Speaker 2: and later as a psychic. In the time Walton knew her,
- 29:50Speaker 2: she also had several plastic surgeries, including what he recalls
- 29:54Speaker 2: as a nose job, a breast enhancement, and some LiPo section.
- 30:00Speaker 2: She's an LA girl. Yes that lay snatched gating lip fillers.
- 30:07Speaker 2: Uh huh, y as you do. She's she's a housewife.
- 30:10Speaker 2: I love it, not mad at all. So they have
- 30:12Speaker 2: this really close friendship. He opens up to her her
- 30:16Speaker 2: about his family and about his sexuality and how some
- 30:20Speaker 2: people didn't accept him. She understood how painful alienation from
- 30:24Speaker 2: family members, could be, she said, revealing that her cousins
- 30:27Speaker 2: were trying to get her disinherited the drama, so she
- 30:32Speaker 2: showed him nasty texts and emails from these cousins, especially
- 30:36Speaker 2: one named Fenton, who occasionally wrote in Gaelic. Walton was
- 30:41Speaker 2: enthralled with the family drama, so she basically was like,
- 30:44Speaker 2: I wouldn't be surprised if this was like all the
- 30:47Speaker 2: plot of several Tyler Perry movies that she is see.
- 30:51Speaker 3: She puts, I'm gonna do my own. I mean, Tyler
- 30:55Speaker 3: doesn't take too much time to produce them. I think
- 30:57Speaker 3: she took more time to produce a Tyler Perry movie
- 31:00Speaker 3: then Tyler takes to produce his own. To produce these emails,
- 31:03Speaker 3: you might be right, and I'm not being shady, because
- 31:05Speaker 3: he very quickly shoots seasons in the matter of weeks,
- 31:10Speaker 3: and he does which is wild.
- 31:11Speaker 2: And I know actors who work for him, and they
- 31:13Speaker 2: work very hard. It was like shout out to y'all
- 31:17Speaker 2: because who long days, long long days. And wigs the
- 31:21Speaker 2: wig wigs on wigs on wigs, the wigs. Just if
- 31:27Speaker 2: you could manifest struggle into a hair piece, those wigs.
- 31:34Speaker 2: They're rough bub run. So basically, she moves to a
- 31:43Speaker 2: new loft and they call each other all the time,
- 31:46Speaker 2: tell each other that they love each other. So now
- 31:49Speaker 2: let's get into her inheritance by April twenty fifteen, homegirl
- 31:57Speaker 2: had come to Walton with tears, cats skating down her face,
- 32:02Speaker 2: asking for a loan. So the first loan that she
- 32:07Speaker 2: got was for forty two hundred dollars. Then she came
- 32:11Speaker 2: back and says she needed another fifty eight hundred dollars
- 32:14Speaker 2: to pay rent at her new loft, which is crazy
- 32:18Speaker 2: because she had an inheritance.
- 32:20Speaker 3: Right yes, and she's a psychic, so she didn't see
- 32:22Speaker 3: it coming, and she didn't move before she couldn't afford
- 32:24Speaker 3: to pay it.
- 32:25Speaker 2: She did not move before she could afford to pay it.
- 32:28Speaker 3: Okay, it out.
- 32:29Speaker 2: She said that her great uncle's will contain a claw
- 32:31Speaker 2: stating that anyone with a convicted felony would be exempt
- 32:34Speaker 2: from the will. Walton voiced his fears that Smith's cousins
- 32:37Speaker 2: might frame her to push her out of the will.
- 32:41Speaker 2: So this is one. So in twenty fourteen, walton speculation
- 32:44Speaker 2: seemed to come true. He received a collect call from
- 32:47Speaker 2: a detention facility that Smith had been arrested on charges
- 32:50Speaker 2: that she had stolen about two hundred thousand dollars from
- 32:52Speaker 2: Pacific Islands dot Com, which is the travel agency that
- 32:55Speaker 2: she worked for. So she basically sold this his life, like,
- 33:00Speaker 2: my cousins are setting me up. That call that you
- 33:04Speaker 2: got from jail, that's fencing in them? Was it in Gaelic?
- 33:10Speaker 3: I mean this is exhaustly honestly, the amount of work
- 33:14Speaker 3: she put in, she could have just gotten herself a job.
- 33:18Speaker 2: This is this is work, this is what. That's the
- 33:20Speaker 2: thing about scamming. People think scamming is not work. Scamming
- 33:23Speaker 2: is an employment. It's a profession. I'm honestly upset that
- 33:27Speaker 2: scammers can't get unemployment right now because they have been
- 33:30Speaker 2: self employed. And you know that's something we need to
- 33:33Speaker 2: work on. H they won't. They need they stimulus too.
- 33:36Speaker 2: We need a scam.
- 33:37Speaker 3: Stimulus for robbery.
- 33:40Speaker 2: Okay, how you gonna be doing robbery when everybody in
- 33:42Speaker 2: their house?
- 33:43Speaker 3: Truly, I was just thinking that the other day. I
- 33:46Speaker 3: was like, how do you rob a house if everybody
- 33:49Speaker 3: is home?
- 33:50Speaker 2: So, just like hairdressers can't do hair in person, robbers
- 33:53Speaker 2: can't do their normal robbers exactly. So everybody's really hurting
- 33:59Speaker 2: right now. So I feel for I feel for my
- 34:02Speaker 2: I do. So cut back to She's crying to him,
- 34:07Speaker 2: like I need this money. I gotta go down to
- 34:10Speaker 2: the Attorney's office because they done froze my bank accounts,
- 34:14Speaker 2: the LA District attorney froze my coins up because they
- 34:16Speaker 2: think that I did this robbery at this job that
- 34:18Speaker 2: I definitely worked at, But really was my cousins who
- 34:21Speaker 2: had set me up. But for some reason the jail
- 34:23Speaker 2: called you. But it was my cousins who had put
- 34:27Speaker 2: me in jail from Ireland. This makes sense.
- 34:32Speaker 3: I mean, the favor that he felt for that is
- 34:34Speaker 3: so wild.
- 34:35Speaker 2: She was thrown a lot at him at once. It
- 34:36Speaker 2: was probably a lot to process, yeah, you know, and
- 34:39Speaker 2: he's like, but that's my pastel friend, right, and she
- 34:43Speaker 2: he came out to her about his lifestyle like she
- 34:45Speaker 2: accepted him. So they had an emotional relationship. So it
- 34:49Speaker 2: makes sense. So he wrote her a cashier's check, which
- 34:53Speaker 2: those are the checks that.
- 34:54Speaker 3: Go that's money that's liquid.
- 34:57Speaker 2: So he agreed that. She said when she regained acces
- 35:00Speaker 2: to her bank account or received her inheritance, she would
- 35:02Speaker 2: pay him back. In the meantime, she moved back into
- 35:05Speaker 2: Bunker Hill Towers for a relatively cheaper rent. With a
- 35:08Speaker 2: case still ongoing, she asked him for another thirty eight
- 35:11Speaker 2: hundred dollars the next month, for rent. Over the year,
- 35:16Speaker 2: as it passed on and dragged on, with Walton receiving
- 35:18Speaker 2: frequent updates, she was still asking him for money. So
- 35:21Speaker 2: in September twenty sixteen, she finally came and just really
- 35:24Speaker 2: got the bag. She said that, Hey, they're gonna give
- 35:27Speaker 2: me a plea agreement for this money that I didn't
- 35:30Speaker 2: steal from my job, that my definitely my cousins had
- 35:34Speaker 2: framed me from a different country. Great plea agreement. I'm
- 35:37Speaker 2: getting fifty thousand dollars and served jail time, but I'm
- 35:42Speaker 2: gonna need fifty thousand dollars from you.
- 35:45Speaker 3: And this man gave her fifty thousand dollars.
- 35:48Speaker 2: He forked over nearly sixty thousand dollars. Yeah, and he
- 35:52Speaker 2: also loaned her two thousand dollars for the lawyer to
- 35:54Speaker 2: help her avoid eviction. Because then she wasn't paying rent.
- 35:58Speaker 3: Then what was she spending the money on. This man
- 36:01Speaker 3: needed to ask questions. I would be like, what how, No,
- 36:05Speaker 3: he didn't ask a six so he just had sixty
- 36:07Speaker 3: thousand dollars laying around. This man is a smart man
- 36:11Speaker 3: to have that much cash, Like, well, he worked a.
- 36:13Speaker 2: TV so you know he might have been getting the checks,
- 36:17Speaker 2: I mean, damn, And he's why he believed her. He
- 36:21Speaker 2: believed that she was going to repay him. But one
- 36:23Speaker 2: day during her February twenty seventeen sentence, when Walton logged
- 36:27Speaker 2: onto the jail's website to schedule a visit, he clicked
- 36:29Speaker 2: on her profile at the La County Sheriff's website and
- 36:32Speaker 2: he noticed something strange. She had been charged and convicted
- 36:36Speaker 2: with a felony, so she was trying to avoid eviction.
- 36:40Speaker 2: She eventually did have to go to jail, and then
- 36:43Speaker 2: when he was going to go see her, probably put
- 36:45Speaker 2: some money on her books for some ramen noodles and stuff.
- 36:48Speaker 2: He looked and they were like, yeah, she was convicted
- 36:50Speaker 2: of a felony, felony, like she was doing crime. Crime.
- 36:54Speaker 2: So he took a day off work traveled to the
- 36:57Speaker 2: Airport Courthouse near lax to draw up the records on
- 36:59Speaker 2: her case. When he started looking through the records, he
- 37:02Speaker 2: realized that everything that she told him was say it
- 37:04Speaker 2: with me, guys, a lie. The plea agreement meant that
- 37:09Speaker 2: she had pleaded guilty that her bank accounts had never
- 37:12Speaker 2: been frozen. They weren't frozen, they just were empty, empty
- 37:17Speaker 2: I'm gonna start telling you my bank account frozen if
- 37:19Speaker 2: there ain't no money in there. That's it, basically is
- 37:23Speaker 2: the bank won't let me make transfers anymore because they
- 37:25Speaker 2: said it's no money in there, so they stopped. They
- 37:28Speaker 2: froze my transfer they frozen.
- 37:30Speaker 3: So if you want to, you know, paypound me some.
- 37:33Speaker 3: You want to venmo me something so I can get
- 37:35Speaker 3: my transfers back up, that's my god, that's excellent.
- 37:39Speaker 2: Worry if you would have venmoed me money so I
- 37:41Speaker 2: could get my transfers back up, that's the phrasing. That
- 37:47Speaker 2: is excellent phrasing for I don't have no money, Send
- 37:49Speaker 2: me money so I get start spending money again. That's amazing.
- 37:55Speaker 2: So her plea agreement was for forty thousand dollars, not fifty,
- 37:58Speaker 2: and it included one hundred and eight day jail sentence
- 38:01Speaker 2: later reduced to thirty days. Oh god, So basically she
- 38:05Speaker 2: skimmed him. She's like up, she was like, I need
- 38:08Speaker 2: fifty thousand dollars so I can get this time served.
- 38:10Speaker 2: Then she just kept a little tense so she could
- 38:12Speaker 2: get her transfers back up. So she was like some
- 38:14Speaker 2: for the court, some honey, some for me. On the
- 38:18Speaker 2: day of the release, he picked her up, which I'm like, bro,
- 38:21Speaker 2: why are you even still fucking yeah? Why are you
- 38:23Speaker 2: still involved? Because I think he was trying to get
- 38:25Speaker 2: his money back. So he was like, he's been lying
- 38:28Speaker 2: to me this entire time about everything. The next day,
- 38:31Speaker 2: he filed a police report alleging a total theft of
- 38:34Speaker 2: seventy five thousand dollars. Right so, Walton's landlord shared that
- 38:39Speaker 2: Homegirl also was twelve thousand dollars behind in apartment payments
- 38:43Speaker 2: and had delayed them further because she says she had
- 38:46Speaker 2: cancer and that her disability insurance wasn't arriving on time.
- 38:51Speaker 2: She was running all she my god, so where was
- 38:56Speaker 2: the money for rent gone? Because remember he helped her
- 38:59Speaker 2: with an eviction law quote unquote two thousand dollars.
- 39:02Speaker 3: Well, that's how she had that expensive shoes and shit,
- 39:04Speaker 3: she was just buying stuff.
- 39:06Speaker 2: She just can't buy shoes. She's funny. I love her.
- 39:10Speaker 2: They were like, man, we're gonna put you in the street.
- 39:12Speaker 2: She was like, okay, but I really need these lubatants. Also,
- 39:16Speaker 2: my cancer hurts right now, so I might cancer. HER's
- 39:19Speaker 2: so bad, I better go buy a shoe. That's the cure. Yeah.
- 39:22Speaker 2: I can't actually talk about this right now because ooh
- 39:24Speaker 2: that was my cancer. Okay, so I'm gonna close the
- 39:26Speaker 2: door now, bye bye. So background checks reveal that she'd
- 39:31Speaker 2: also been charged with writing bad checks, fraud in Tennessee,
- 39:36Speaker 2: in Florida, a grand theft, among other kunts. She was
- 39:40Speaker 2: also doing San Andreas. I love her, Yes, And then
- 39:45Speaker 2: the jury found that Smith was guilty of grand theft
- 39:47Speaker 2: and sentenced her to five years in jail. So this
- 39:51Speaker 2: is on top of one hundred and eighty days that
- 39:52Speaker 2: she got from robbing her former employment. She did end
- 39:55Speaker 2: up having to go to jail for robbing her homeboy.
- 39:58Speaker 2: And man, there's a lot to unp there that we
- 40:00Speaker 2: just don't have time to pack, you guys unpacking in
- 40:02Speaker 2: your cars wherever you are. But uh, this irishwoman is
- 40:08Speaker 2: a queen. I love her. That's it.
- 40:11Speaker 3: That's like, over the course of four years, you stole
- 40:15Speaker 3: eighty thousand dollars. That's pretty good. That's twenty a year.
- 40:21Speaker 3: That's nice, tax free, that is twenty thousand dollars a year.
- 40:24Speaker 3: That's like pretty decent. And I'm sure that's something only
- 40:27Speaker 3: scam she was running on people. Obviously she can rent scam.
- 40:31Speaker 3: She had grand theft, she had like her whole life
- 40:34Speaker 3: was a grip.
- 40:35Speaker 2: She doing it. She's doing big things. So for Scammer
- 40:38Speaker 2: of the Week, we just want to highlight a king,
- 40:40Speaker 2: a Floridian, a Florida man. You know, if you really
- 40:43Speaker 2: just want trash, if you really just want I can
- 40:46Speaker 2: say that I lived in Florida. It's okay for me
- 40:47Speaker 2: to say that a Florida man bought one hundred and
- 40:50Speaker 2: forty thousand dollars Porsche with a check that he printed
- 40:52Speaker 2: from home on his computer. I don't even know you
- 40:57Speaker 2: think of this.
- 41:00Speaker 3: But also the dealership was like, ah, it looks right,
- 41:06Speaker 3: but what look?
- 41:07Speaker 2: Times are hard. They trying to sell these motherfucking Porsches.
- 41:10Speaker 2: They said, anybody want to come in here? Yes, so
- 41:12Speaker 2: forty two year old Casey William Kelly. I love that
- 41:15Speaker 2: he has three first names. That's what I'm talking about.
- 41:18Speaker 2: Robbery was charged with a grand theft of a motor
- 41:21Speaker 2: vehicle and uttering a false banknote. According to the Walton
- 41:24Speaker 2: County Sheriff's Office, he allegedly handed over a cashier's check
- 41:27Speaker 2: that he printed from his home computer to buy the car.
- 41:29Speaker 2: The car was later reported stolen to Okaloosa County sheriff Office.
- 41:33Speaker 2: So he so also we just talked about in the
- 41:35Speaker 2: last story, like you do a cashier check. That's as
- 41:37Speaker 2: good as cash.
- 41:38Speaker 3: Pretty much, if it looks real, if it looks legit.
- 41:42Speaker 2: So this is what he did. Shortly after purchasing the
- 41:46Speaker 2: German luxury car. Authority say that Kelly then attempted to
- 41:48Speaker 2: buy three Rolex watches he was loan. Later ride, he said,
- 41:52Speaker 2: where my printer at I get the ink jet? Been
- 41:55Speaker 2: so funny, that is so fucking funny. He handed over
- 41:58Speaker 2: a fraudulent check for six see one thousand dollars to
- 42:01Speaker 2: a jeweler. However, the jeweler kept the watches until they
- 42:04Speaker 2: could determine if the check would clear see because jewelry.
- 42:08Speaker 2: You know, he's a white man.
- 42:09Speaker 3: People don't fuck with jewelry because jewelry goes up in
- 42:13Speaker 3: value sometimes.
- 42:14Speaker 2: So like like a vintage Rolex, those go for like
- 42:18Speaker 2: a like a ton of cash. So smart on them.
- 42:20Speaker 3: But also with the car, I would have done a lease.
- 42:24Speaker 3: I would have given them a fake address. I would
- 42:26Speaker 3: have done I mean, you probably had to put some
- 42:28Speaker 3: money down so you get the fraudulent check for that,
- 42:31Speaker 3: give them a dummy address, and then never park the
- 42:34Speaker 3: car near your house.
- 42:35Speaker 2: And be like, I don't know what you're talking about.
- 42:37Speaker 2: That's a good one, because then it's also like they
- 42:39Speaker 2: might contact you like, oh, this check didn't go through,
- 42:41Speaker 2: but you we got this lise set up, We got
- 42:43Speaker 2: all your info and then you could drive it around
- 42:45Speaker 2: for longer. He's just straight up yes, like stealing it. Okay,
- 42:49Speaker 2: Now I have the perfect plan.
- 42:50Speaker 3: Okay, so we get a fake driver's license with your picture,
- 42:54Speaker 3: different name, different address, because I don't think they do
- 42:57Speaker 3: any sort of background checks. So if you can make
- 43:00Speaker 3: fraudulent checks, write that check for the down payment on
- 43:03Speaker 3: the lease, how will they get to you. They can't,
- 43:06Speaker 3: They can't find you. And then the bank is on
- 43:09Speaker 3: the hook because when you lease a car, the bank
- 43:12Speaker 3: buys the car. You pay the bank, so you are
- 43:16Speaker 3: literally out of it.
- 43:18Speaker 2: Everyone go out there and print your cashier's check. Immy nominated.
- 43:22Speaker 2: The cole buyer has taught you how to do this scam.
- 43:25Speaker 2: That was her ted talk. It was free for you
- 43:30Speaker 2: and for me. I just I think also the jeweler
- 43:34Speaker 2: probably caught on because jewelers deal with criminals all the time, like,
- 43:37Speaker 2: oh yeah, jewelry, like the three rolexes for what for?
- 43:43Speaker 2: What for? Why for? How? So you know what? But
- 43:48Speaker 2: shout out to a three first named king, Casey William
- 43:51Speaker 2: Kelly because I don't even know how you thought to
- 43:53Speaker 2: print out a casher check at your home. Probably been
- 43:55Speaker 2: saying the side too long, coronavirus. She was like, I
- 43:58Speaker 2: could print out of cash your check.
- 43:59Speaker 3: From or maybe he saw Catch Me if you can
- 44:02Speaker 3: that movie with Leonardo DiCaprio running all them scams and
- 44:05Speaker 3: he was like, I can do that.
- 44:06Speaker 2: I'm cute listen and he did and did he did
- 44:09Speaker 2: get the car off the lots. So I'm proud of
- 44:11Speaker 2: this king, but we too, we have reached the end
- 44:14Speaker 2: of the show.
- 44:15Speaker 3: Nicole Lazy, thank you so much for having me back. Honestly,
- 44:19Speaker 3: it's just a treat to talk to.
- 44:20Speaker 2: You is thank you for being here. Seriously, Wait, where
- 44:24Speaker 2: do you want to be found?
- 44:26Speaker 3: I'm hopefully engaged with a nice man now. You can
- 44:31Speaker 3: find me on Instagram, Twitter at Nicole Bayer. I have
- 44:34Speaker 3: other podcasts, Why Won't You Date Me? Best Friends, ninety
- 44:37Speaker 3: day ban Patreon, drag Her with Mono Agapi, where we
- 44:39Speaker 3: talked about drag Race Newcomers with Lauren Lapkis where now
- 44:42Speaker 3: we are watching Lord of the Rings and good fucking Lord,
- 44:45Speaker 3: that movie's a scam.
- 44:46Speaker 2: They're too fucking long. They should have been broken up.
- 44:49Speaker 3: But yeah, you can just Oh and I have a book,
- 44:51Speaker 3: Very Fat, Very Brave. It's a self help guide for
- 44:53Speaker 3: fat women. But if you're a thin and you have low.
- 44:56Speaker 2: Self esteem, I guess maybe you'll help. I don't know
- 45:00Speaker 2: what a sales pitch there. You hate yourself? No no, no, no, no,
- 45:06Speaker 2: I can I can help you your thin self hate
- 45:09Speaker 2: and bitch. No I'm kidding, no no, no, no no.
- 45:11Speaker 2: But it's a good book for just confidence in general.
- 45:15Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's gotten like little comebacks if someone insults you.
- 45:19Speaker 3: The main takeaway of the book, I'll just tell you,
- 45:21Speaker 3: I prefer if you bought it is like if someone
- 45:24Speaker 3: says something about your body, it means you're powerful because
- 45:26Speaker 3: that person had to stop their day to tell you
- 45:28Speaker 3: something and you never thought once about them.
- 45:31Speaker 2: Yes, uh, I love that. Yes, guys, Very Fat, Very Brave.
- 45:36Speaker 2: Oh my god, all the things you have so many podcasts.
- 45:39Speaker 2: As always, guys, email us scamcottspot at gmail dot com.
- 45:42Speaker 2: Snitch on your friends your family and yourself. If you
- 45:45Speaker 2: want to find me d I V A l A
- 45:47Speaker 2: c I d elates. You have all platforms if you
- 45:49Speaker 2: want to support a black queen out there, okay, if
- 45:51Speaker 2: you want to do your activism for today, like uh wait,
- 45:55Speaker 2: I was about to say, like a subscribe b just
- 45:56Speaker 2: sign YouTube, subscribe to our show, give me five star
- 46:00Speaker 2: reviews and talk about how lovely of human being that
- 46:05Speaker 2: I am. That's how you can help me. And then
- 46:07Speaker 2: and then you help the black person. Today you get
- 46:09Speaker 2: to go to bed like I did it. I did
- 46:12Speaker 2: something alright, Congregation, Damn Goddess. This has been in the
- 46:22Speaker 2: Earwook production in association with Team Coco Scam Got His
- 46:26Speaker 2: Stars and it's hosted by me Lacy Mosley aka Scam Goddess.
- 46:30Speaker 2: Our producer is Jessica cis Neros and our audio engineer
- 46:34Speaker 2: is rich Garcia. Research for the show is conducted by
- 46:37Speaker 2: Kate Doyle Stay Scheming