Latest / Sober Talk SA / Sober Talk SA - Trevor
Transcript
- 0:09Welcome to Sober talk. I'm Dennis and I've lived
- 0:12experience at alcohol. If you or anyone you know is
- 0:16struggling with alcohol, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on
- 0:191300 double 22222 or check out their website on aa.org dot AU.
- 0:28I'll just run through the preamble of Alcoholics
- 0:31Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous is a
- 0:33fellowship of men and women who share their experience,
- 0:37strengthen hope with each other. They must solve their come
- 0:39problems and help others to recover from alcoholism.
- 0:43The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop
- 0:46drinking. There are no dues of fees for a
- 0:49membership. We are self supporting through
- 0:51our own contributions. A is not allied with any SEC
- 0:54denomination, politics, organization or institution.
- 0:58Does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses or
- 1:02oppose any causes. Our primary purpose is
- 1:05stairsleman help other Alcoholics achieve sobriety.
- 1:11Good day everybody. My name is Trevor and I'm an
- 1:13alcoholic. My story begins when I was 13
- 1:21and my mother committed suicide. Put in the boy tones and I
- 1:28rebelled and I kept getting into strike and I finished up down to
- 1:35a reformatory and for I was especially there till I was 18
- 1:42and I finally got out at 7-9 and but from there I progressed to
- 1:55to jails and prisons and I was in and out of jail from I died
- 2:03until I was 24. And every time I've out of jail,
- 2:09I was homeless because I wouldn't spend money on rent.
- 2:14I wanted it for grog. And anyway, when I got out of
- 2:19jail in 1974, I met, which I didn't know at the time, my
- 2:25future wife, and we got married in 1975.
- 2:34We had four children, but I also got a a daughter to another in
- 2:41another relationship. And to try and keep out of
- 2:47travel and keep off the booth or join the railways, the
- 2:52Commonwealth Railways. And I moved out to a place
- 2:57called Haig Out on the western side, Western ferry inside of
- 3:03the Commonwealth Railway in the middle of the Malabar plane.
- 3:09And I was working out there and we got a train once a week
- 3:17called the Tea and sugar. The woods would bring out our
- 3:21food and had a butcher and and also our alcohol and I thought
- 3:29well this will be good if I run out of grog out there, I can't
- 3:36get anymore. The nearest town was 900
- 3:41kilometres away, which was Kalgoorlie and I just couldn't
- 3:48drop everything and just go to town.
- 3:54And anyway, I'm there for for a couple of weeks, maybe a month,
- 4:05and I found out I had a cousin working in the next camp.
- 4:11And in the next camp there was a shop where you could buy
- 4:15groceries and all that kind of thing, but it was full of grog
- 4:18as well. So that finished that and my
- 4:27time was on the grog again more regularly.
- 4:32But then they moved the concrete gang in and they had a wetness
- 4:38and the the wetness was every day and every day I was on the
- 4:47grogs. And once the concrete gang went
- 4:53through, they shut the camp. So we transferred to a place
- 4:58called Manguri, which was 25 mile out of Kuba PD.
- 5:07And so I didn't get my wrong as often, but what I could do was
- 5:15stack up the wrong because there wasn't much to spend your money
- 5:18on, which is that general necessities.
- 5:24Anyway, by this time my wife had two children.
- 5:28And then my wife got crook and we had to move to a town.
- 5:35So we moved to Port Augusta and where she had two more children.
- 5:45Well, anyway, my drinking progressed to more and more and
- 5:53more and I finished up drinking 48 years and the 40th wedding
- 6:08anniversary was coming up and the wife had all these things
- 6:18planned and I, I decided to go on a Bender.
- 6:24So 2 weeks leading up to it, I was drunk.
- 6:28Come the day of the anniversary, I couldn't get out of bed except
- 6:34to go to the toilet. And anyway, two weeks later I I
- 6:43turned 65 and I really poured it on.
- 6:51And anyway in 1982 my brother-in-law tried to get me
- 6:57in the program but I didn't listen to him.
- 7:01But I tried hypnotism, psychologist and pharmaceutical
- 7:12medicine all to stop bringing. I tried on my own I don't know
- 7:16how many times. Nothing worked anyway.
- 7:23Did you try detox? No, I didn't try detox.
- 7:28That's right. And the next day I was laying in
- 7:31bed and was laying in bed and for some unknown reason, I think
- 7:39it was my higher power, which I didn't know at the time, a A
- 7:45popped into me head. Well, I laid there for a bit and
- 7:52then I got out and was wanting to cop my medicine for my wife.
- 8:01And all she said to me was I've, I've been here for 40 years
- 8:06watching you slowly drink yourself to death.
- 8:09I'm not hanging around for 41. Yeah, that was a wake up call.
- 8:15Another wake up call for me because she'd kicked me out a
- 8:19zillion times. But she never threatened to
- 8:22leave me. And that sort of shocked me.
- 8:27But I didn't tell her what I was planned because I I told her in
- 8:31the past, her and the kids what I planned and and everything was
- 8:39didn't work. And so I tried not to tell her.
- 8:47Anyway. I rang a A on the Monday in Port
- 8:50Augusta and the meeting with Troy.
- 8:54But I'm just grateful that I was that crook that I didn't want to
- 8:58drink anyway. Because if I wasn't that crook,
- 9:01I wouldn't have made it day. Because boy, Wednesday I was
- 9:06being back on the piss, back on the Grogs.
- 9:11And anyway, Troy come around and I got ready, had a share, got
- 9:27dressed and and I come out all ready to go and the wife said
- 9:36where are you going? I said a A the first time I
- 9:39mentioned it and she turned to me and said bull crap, you're
- 9:45going to pub. And I said, no, I'm going a, A
- 9:50Anyway, we were standing there arguing back and forth.
- 9:53And I, I just thought, why am I standing here arguing?
- 9:58So I left her arguing with herself because I walked out,
- 10:03jumped in the car and I went to me first a, a meeting.
- 10:07And that was the greatest thing I could have ever done because
- 10:11the senator walks through them doors was like a great weight
- 10:16lifted off me. And anyway, at home about two
- 10:21hours later, and then she started again.
- 10:26But while I was at the meeting, they gave me a beginner's
- 10:29wallet. And I had that in my back pocket
- 10:34where she couldn't see it. And anyway, she said, what are
- 10:41you doing home? I said the meeting's finished.
- 10:44And again, bull crap, you've run out of money haven't you?
- 10:52I said no, the meeting for me. She said well don't look at me,
- 10:57I'm not giving you no money. I said I don't want any money
- 11:02anyway. She was starting to carry on a
- 11:06bit, so I handed her the wallet and she looked at it and she was
- 11:14sort of shocked because it was a A.
- 11:19The thing was, even though I started a, A, the family and and
- 11:26my wife, they weren't sure because of all the other
- 11:30Band-Aid fixes I'd tried that didn't work.
- 11:35And but I'm grateful because we had a really strong group in
- 11:42Port Augusta and without them people to support me, I probably
- 11:49would have went back out drinking.
- 11:50I don't know. But my sobriety date is the 5th
- 11:57day, sorry, 28th of June 2015. And I've just passed 9 1/2 years
- 12:07sober and it's been the best 9 1/2 years of my life and my wife
- 12:14and my family because now they believe me.
- 12:21At 15 months sober, my daughter got married and I walked her
- 12:29down the aisle. But I don't know if you know the
- 12:33Flinders Rangers at all. She got married up and the
- 12:36Flinders Rangers at a place called Ticklebelly Hill.
- 12:41And anyway, I did the right thing.
- 12:45I've got everyone's number. No problem.
- 12:49Ring us, we'll be there to support me.
- 12:54And anyway, walked her down the aisle.
- 12:59Oh, but me walked her down the aisle.
- 13:02And lo behold, after the wedding and that I went and asked the
- 13:09bloke running Ticklebelly Hill. I said playing coverage up here,
- 13:15no phone coverage. Well, I told my my son and my
- 13:24son-in-law that just got married to my daughter and they kept
- 13:28their eye on me all night and so did my wife.
- 13:32But I had no drama. They're more worried about peer
- 13:36pressure, you know, people trying to get me to have a beer.
- 13:401 won't hurt and all that, this kind of thing.
- 13:44One beer actually will kill me. And if I didn't join a A at the
- 13:51time I did because I was just drinking for Blue Oblivion and I
- 13:59would have been dead within 12 months, I would have been dead.
- 14:03I honestly believe that. So I'm just so grateful to this
- 14:10program and I was told by my first sponsor, if you're asked
- 14:15to share, you get off your royal and get up and share.
- 14:20And ever since then, that's what I've done.
- 14:24Sometimes I do a a reasonably good share and next time I do a
- 14:29crap one because I I'm I'm getting dementia and it's it's
- 14:40progressing and so I am. I struggle with a lot of things.
- 14:51I think I'm autistic as well. I haven't got a clue, but my
- 14:56brain just doesn't work like normal peoples.
- 15:01But I was someone all my life struggled to fit in.
- 15:06I didn't fit in. I was always an outcast.
- 15:08Even in my family, I was an outcast, the black sheep of the
- 15:12family. If anything went wrong, who got
- 15:17the blame? Me.
- 15:20And I mightn't have even been there and I still get the blame.
- 15:25And my sisters, my two older sisters, me.
- 15:28And did they get me into a lot of crap?
- 15:30I got flogging after flogging because they blame me for crap
- 15:35they done. And anyway, I've I've made
- 15:39amends to my family. I've forgiven because I didn't
- 15:44invite any of my friend family to my wedding.
- 15:48I said to my future wife, if any of my family are sitting in here
- 15:53when I walk in to marry you, I'm gone.
- 15:56I'm out the door. That's how much I didn't like my
- 16:02family today. I get on well with them and
- 16:09it's, it's so brilliant to have them in my life, you know, But
- 16:17it's only through this program and working the steps that I've,
- 16:23I've got, I've got, I've got an outlet.
- 16:31I can step up. I'm getting confused here.
- 16:34I'm sorry, I've, I've got a program, that's what I meant to
- 16:40say. I've got a program where I can
- 16:42handle most things and what I, what I can't handle, I'll ask my
- 16:51higher power for help. I've always believed in a higher
- 16:55power because some of the scrapes and car accidents and,
- 17:00and you know, just some of the dumb things I've done.
- 17:03I should should have been dead years ago, but I knew back then
- 17:10something or somebody was looking after me.
- 17:14So I've always believed in the high pair.
- 17:17I just didn't know what he was called.
- 17:20It's only coming in the program that I, I finally could give him
- 17:24a name. I had a little bit of trouble
- 17:30with the word God in the program because as a kid I got punished
- 17:37for not reading the Bible. And because I got punished, I
- 17:43was in a boy's home and I got teeth the hell.
- 17:48And I got in a lot of scrapes. So that brought on more
- 17:52punishment and and I just hated religion, hated God.
- 18:04But I tell you what, some of the things I got into, who was the
- 18:08first person I called on my mate God.
- 18:14So, you know, even atheists, they believe in some sort of
- 18:23God. You know, it might be the Bible
- 18:25God, which I don't believe in. My higher power is I'm actually
- 18:33sitting in a place called Taruna Bay and on an AA camp, and it's
- 18:39so peaceful and serene here. It is unbelievable.
- 18:43It's so beautiful. And this is the type of things I
- 18:49missed out on because of alcohol.
- 18:52I've never seen anything beautiful.
- 18:55It was all droll. And yeah, you know, my family
- 19:03had a horrific time with with me with me alcohol.
- 19:09My kids missed out on a lot, you know, because I had to have my
- 19:16alcohol. But thanks to this program, I am
- 19:21so, so grateful. And I do service in a, a like
- 19:30Dennis just called me out wiping dishes to do this talk.
- 19:38And yeah, but I, I'm being secretary.
- 19:42I'm neo treasurer of my group, you know, and I, I just love
- 19:48doing service, you know, and I'll, I'll pick up a broom or
- 19:53whatever's needed. And I'll do this without being
- 19:57told because. You tell an alcoholic they're
- 20:02not going to do it. You ask an alcoholic and I will
- 20:06do it because our program works on suggestions, not you will.
- 20:14And that's another thing I love about it.
- 20:19And the people are incredible. One thing I love about the
- 20:23people, if they can't help you, they won't harm you.
- 20:27And that to me, and these people were all strangers to me.
- 20:33When I come into pro, I didn't know anybody.
- 20:37And the amount of friends I've made and will do anything for me
- 20:46within raising a course, it's just, it's just incredible.
- 20:52It's just so hard to explain. I'm, I'm grateful I am an
- 20:57alcoholic because without being an alcoholic, I wouldn't have
- 21:01what I've got today, which is peace, serenity.
- 21:07And I just love it. Am it?
- 21:09Look am it? Good.
- 21:13They were fin finish up and I just spoke to Dennis and he said
- 21:20it's time for me to finish up. So yeah, I'm just so grateful to
- 21:28be in the program and to be able to share my story.
- 21:35And yeah, I'll just leave her that.
- 21:36Thanks. And if you're in the program,
- 21:39keep coming back. But on your trap.
- 21:44Thank you. We have local meetings for the
- 21:50full week in the local area. Monday is Gala meeting at 8:00,
- 21:55Tuesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00, Wednesday is Elizabeth E at
- 22:018:00, Thursday is 2 Wells at 8:00 and Friday is Salisbury at
- 22:078:00. There's a meeting at Devon Park
- 22:10at 12:00 and on Sunday there's a maintenance Salisbury at 7:00
- 22:14and many of the meetings in the area.
- 22:19For details of your local meetings, please phone 1300
- 22:24double 22222. And once again, if anyone you
- 22:28know is struggling with alcohol issues, please call Alcoholics
- 22:31Anonymous on 1300 double 22222. The website isaasa.org dot AU.