Latest / Carmedy / Episode 13.5 - San Diego, Naked Customers & Spidey maynee

Transcript

Episode 13.5 - San Diego, Naked Customers & Spidey maynee · Carmedy

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Carmedy Podcast, where comedy meets you or slash my commute.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Dave Thompson.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: This is episode 13.5, which is actually episode 26, I think.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: What episode is this?
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: 26?
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: I just got a thing saying congratulations on 25 episodes.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, yo, that's pretty cool.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, thank you guys.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: I have got support and listeners on every show that I've released ever since the very first show, so thank you.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: I have never had an episode released with zero.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: I have never had an episode with less than ten.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think there's one episode with less than twenty, but that was like towards the beginning.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: But yes, all my episodes have had a great listenership.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Is that a word?
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Shout out to the new cities that it shows are listening.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Whittier California, Kyoto, West Hollywood.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: I see you, whoever you guys are, wherever you're listening, thank you so much.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Dave Thompson.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a comedian that lives here in Southern California.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: I run all kinds of comedy shows, produce comedy shows all over Southern California with uh I.e.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: comedy, and when I say with, I mean I am I.e.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: comedy.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's a page that I have on Instagram where I promote comedy that's happening in the inland empire.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: And if local producers or comedians tag me and stuff, I'm more than happy to repost it because I love supporting my local community.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: We have a really, really great group of funny people out here, and I love supporting them and supporting that.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: So, with that being said, if you are a local comedian, you want me to repost something, please tag me in it.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be more than happy to repost it as long as it's within reason.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: If it's not something like crazy, if you're like, ah, I hate the Jews, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, la la la la.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I won't repost it.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because you know, I can't have everybody knowing I hate the Jews, you know.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Can't have everybody knowing that.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm just kidding.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: I love the Jews.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know why?
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because God tells me to love the Jews.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, I'm gonna get myself in trouble.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Who cares?
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: What are you gonna do?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Not listen to my pod.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: What are you gonna do not listen to my free pod?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: I love you guys.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Car medians, shout out, fist bumps all around.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: I love you guys, you guys are amazing.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Uh big shout out to the public defender.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't forgotten.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: My goodness.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Alright.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: So, tonight I'm headed to La Jolla.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: I am booked, and by booked, I mean I was chosen.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: And by chosen means it was a random lottery, and by random lottery means I'm lucky.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: I have been picked, plucked out of the bucket at the La Jolla Comedy Store.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm headed down there today.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's a Tuesday.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Headed down there, and it's gonna be a ton of fun, because that room is always fun.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: La Jolla store, if you guys have never been there.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Every Tuesday, you can call in between noon and five.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Put your name on the list.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Just kidding.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Put your name on in the bucket, and they pull names for the following week.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: And they have something even cooler that they started doing now, which is whoever gets the set of the night gets another set the following week on friends and family, which is freaking cool! That's so cool! That's so cool.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm hoping that this will be great.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Man, somebody just tried to call me.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, it's gonna be a fun night tonight.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Probably gonna head down to trailer park after dark, which will be cool.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Little Madhouse Comedy Club, which will be cool.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: All that fun shtif.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: All that fun shtiff.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, what else about me?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Last night I spoke.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I spoke.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Have you spoken?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I spoke.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: At the city council for UKIP last night?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: My city council meeting with the mayor and the deputy mayor and the council and city manager and city attorney.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Wow! This is pretty wild.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: I went up there, I was so nervous.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: I was so nervous.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: Why was I so nervous?
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Why was I so nervous?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: I was super nervous.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: I was just geez.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of unbelievable when you get up in front of a bunch of people that are like I don't know how to say it.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Important people?
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, these people work for the city?
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: They're important people.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: So, I don't know.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: I had a great time.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: I did three minutes, or almost three minutes, and just kind of talked about some stuff.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: They were talking about closing the performing arts center.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that would be terrible.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because not only would I never have the chance to do comedy there, because it's something I've always wanted to do, uh, but the city wants it.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: All the constituents, right?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: All the people of the city are like, yo, I want, I want it.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Give me the Y pack, I want it.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: We want the dancing.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: We want the singing.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: We want the joke, joke, laugh, laugh comedy.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: We want it all.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: And they're gonna get it too, because they they approved to uh not shut it down in a temporary budget to keep it operating until it's self-sufficient.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go! Power to the people, hashtag freedom of speech.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: We love that.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: We love that.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: We love the freedom of speech.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: The speech is so free, the free is so speech.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, we love that.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh new bits.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what it is today.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Something going on with me, I don't know what.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Can't stop yawning.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I've been working on some bits.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I haven't looked this one up.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if anybody's done this before, but uh about the the horn on your car.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, some people look for you know cool colors, some people look for the type of you know, design, the look of the car, and they won't buy it unless it has the right look, you know.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Some people want, oh, I won't I only want to buy this car if it has a certain amount of space.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Or whatever.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: But me, I want to buy a car based off of the horn sound.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: I want a car, I think I think the horn sound should match the driver.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like you got a little pip squeak, pip squeak guy, a little, you know.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: But then you got some big boy in a truck.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Sound like a dead guy.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: That was crazy.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: So uh yeah, door dashing is fun.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I had a a woman order some groceries from Food for Less and deliver them to a townhouse.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I delivered them, and as I was delivering them, the very first trip I made from the car to her front door of the townhouse, she opens the front door as I'm walking up, presumably, I would assume, to greet me as I'm walking up at the groceries that she knows I'm arriving with.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you arrive, Doordash gives you a message like, hey, your driver's here, blah blah blah blah blah.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: But she's not.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: It looks like she's setting out a package, but I'm like, not that far away from her.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm walking up to her door, and she's in her unmentionables, and she's like setting a package out, and she's like, Oh my goodness! And she like covers herself up and then like closes the door.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just like, Did you not know that I was gonna be here?
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Did you not know that I was walking up?
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't you didn't hear your phone?
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: You just like, oh yeah, I ordered it, it'll come sometime.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's not gonna be here right now.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Let me just full open my door in the unmentionables.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: Of just full open so that everyone can see the unmentionables, and then act weird once somebody sees me.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's the weirdest part.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if you opened the door just like a crack and you put your arm through to drop a package outside for someone, I can't believe that.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: I could believe that.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: But you're not exposing yourself at all.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: But to fully open, I mean fully open the door, having yourself exposed in your undergarments, uh garments, garments, garments, garments, and then being like, oh my gosh! Like, you know what I'm saying?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's just it's such weird behavior.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's just it's just it's just lousy behavior.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's really what it is.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: But that was also like the first time that a woman has ever done something like that.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Generally, when people open the doors and they're in their undergarments, they're usually dudes that are trying to expose themselves to me.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and a lot of times they don't even have on undergarments, they are just literally out and and and wanting me to see.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what it is.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: I've literally I think it has something to do with these headphones.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta get new headphones because I have yawned like 15 times on this app, and I apologize.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: As the episodes get higher, you know, like 13, 14, 15, like that's how many yawns you're getting per episode now.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: I don't understand it.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's gotta be something with my with my brain.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's gotta be something with my equilibri equal equal equal rights.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's gotta be something with my equal rights.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: My equilibrium equab equ equab equ equilibrium.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: There we go.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, that was a big word.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: Good job, Dave.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: That was a big word.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Good job, buddy.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, sometimes I gotta be my own dad.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Since my dad is a freak, I gotta be my own dad.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: You guys are like, why is there so much background noise?
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Why do you have the ACR?
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's freaking hot! It's 101 degrees outside right now, and I'm driving towards the beach.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm driving towards San Diego so that I can go enjoy the weather, and uh not only enjoy the weather, but perform at the La Hoya Cabadistor.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: My name's on the list.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like 15th tonight or whatever.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Whew! What a day, what a time.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: What a day, what a time.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, a lot of things going on right now in the world.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Spider-Man comes out this week, in two days, Spider-Man comes out.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think you're gonna be hearing this tomorrow, so maybe Spider-Man comes out tomorrow.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Spider-Man, Spider-Man does whatever Spider-K.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: I've seen Spider-Man through many iterations, right?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: We had Toby Maguire, three movies with Toby Maguire.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Love that.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: We had an Andrew Garfield with the Amazing Spider-Man Part 1, Amazing Spider-Man Part 2.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: We love that.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Two movies.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Then we had this new kid.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: The frick's his name! What's the name of this new kid?
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: He's with Zendaya or was married to Zendaya?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Are they still married?
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Are they still going steady?
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: What's his name?
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: I freaking forgot his name.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Tom?
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: Tom?
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I thinking Tom?
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Is his name Tom?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Tom Hiddleston no, Tom Hiddleston's the other Marvel guy.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: What the freak is Tom Holland.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: Is that his name?
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that's his name.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: For some reason I'm thinking Tom Holland.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so Tom Holland.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: He's had a couple movies now.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: Two movies, three movies.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: And this is fourth movie?
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Third movie?
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how many movies.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: But then he also has the other movie with the other Spideys.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: If you haven't seen it yet, spoiler alert, but yeah, get your tickets now.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: Spider-Man's gonna be nuts.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you haven't seen the Odyssey yet, you gotta go see it.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I've been told.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't seen it yet.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta go see it.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: So gonna spend some time in the movies this week for sure.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: Gonna be working a lot for sure.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: No shows this week besides the spot that I have tonight.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a show, but um no shows this week.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Just uh promoting my show at UKIPA.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm headlining Brew Kaipa with the Heat Wave Comedy Tour Friday, August 7th at 7 p.m., which is gonna be a ton of fun.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: And what else?
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah, be good to each other.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: Freaking try not to yawn as much as me.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um God is good.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's a really stinking good one.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: Uh freaking I miss Kmart.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: I miss the fact that you could go into Kmart and smell Little Caesar's Pizza, if I'm being honest.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: I miss that.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: I miss that a lot.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: You guys, thank you so much.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: My name's Dave Thompson.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for listening to the Carmody Podcast.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Love you guys till next time.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: See ya.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Goodbye.