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Happy Hour #64: The Villain · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stephane.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Never told your protection of I Heart Radio, and welcome
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: to another happy hour. As always, drink responsibly if you
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: choose to do so. Um and yeah, we just hope
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: for these to be kind of moments for you to
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: take in your day, hang out with us, have some
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: some conversations. Um, what are you sipping on, Samantha, Oh,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: I went back to my trustee hat in Stormy, Yeah,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: which is essentially dark in the Stormy with Helpanos shake up.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: It's delicious, delicious. I love it. I'm jealous. I am
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: currently out of liquor, so I am just on the
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: box red wine and it's nice read. It happens every time.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, No, it's in your contract. I know. So
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: this one I tease this one and the last one
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: that we did. This one's a bit of an unhappy hour,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: but I don't think it's going to be that sad.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: It is storming outside, so it's like perfect um for
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: this conversation. I like, you've got the halt and Stormy,
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: I've got my red wine. I feel like we're setting
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: the scene. It's appropriate. But before we get into the meat,
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: of what I wanted to talk about. We do have
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: something we want to follow up with. On the last
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Happy Hour that I did, UM, that was about kind
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: of how we view villains, the gender differences in villains,
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: and I was making the point that in our media
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: at large, I feel like we give a lot more
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: space to forgive UM and explain male generally white male trauma.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: And both of us had follow up thoughts, so we
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: want to include it in here. M So, Samantha, what
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: you're telling me about a show that has a bit
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: of a different, a different vibe going on. So one
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: of the shows that I love dearly and is now
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: on my repeat list with Supernatural, New Girl, Parks and
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: rec is Once Upon a Time or Once, which is
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: a Disney ABC show. I think they've gotten new pickups
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: and I know people know it, people love it. Um.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: It was the same creators that did Lost, so it
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: was a whole different look. But essentially it is fairy
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: tales that come into the reality today's world and what
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: does that look like? But for those of you who
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: may have seen it, it has snow white, uh, the
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: evil Queen, Prince Charming, and of course a spell like
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: the All the Dark stuff. You have characters like Rapunzel,
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: you have Rubbel, stilt Skin. You have all of those
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: characters as a part of it. You'll see Mulan eventually
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Elsa comes through. Um. Yes, all of them come through Loot.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Which of the East come through like so many things.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: The Wizard of Oz is in there, Peter Pan all
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: of that. But the biggest villain in the first two
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: seasons is Regina, who is the evil queen to snow White,
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: and her origin story is much different other than just
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: you know, being jealous of snow White's beauty. Um. But
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: she ends up having a redemption art at the beginning
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: of the second season. Into the first season, you don't
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: see the redemption art except for that she does feel
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: love for someone and willing to sacrifice for someone, and
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: then it turns into her becoming Uh. The hero as
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: they say, literal plot is villain versus hero, and she's
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: trying to get her story rewritten to be a hero
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: because she can't have our happy ending until she does.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: But within the entire show you have all of that.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: So Selina, who plays her sister Uh as a villain,
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: and then she gets a redemption arc because she does live.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Also an an our featured with Hans and all of them.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: But they bring in the Snow Queen, who is a
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: villain who also gets a redemption arc but she does die.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: Like you said when we were off the mic, a
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: lot of the redemption arca is that they don't survive
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: to actually, but she she her happy enning is going
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: with her sisters who had who had died, so she
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: gets to be with her sisters essentially. But yeah, it
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: has the entirety of the thing, but it kind of
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: does the ebb and flow of redemption. And a lot
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: of them are women. That's interesting. I'll have to check
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: that out. I know you've you've told me about that.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: And has Sebastian standard all right, yes, which, by the way,
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: we're gonna talk about this later on a different episode.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: But he plays his creepy character in this and I
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, yeah, he does. And I need you
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: to watch that episode. Oh lord, all right, we'll do
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: an exchange because I'm making you watch the Mark Camel episode.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: I'll watch that. It's gonna be great, Okay, okay, exchange.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I think it is perfect. One thing that I forgot
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: to mention um, like you said, is that the redemption arc.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: I kept using that term when we were talking about
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: male villains and the examples I gave for I gave
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: a lot but three of them, like Kyle Wren, Darth Vader,
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: Separate Snake. They do have these redemption arcs, and in
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: some ways you could even argue, like the main theme
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: of like whatever property they're in is their redemption arc
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: or one of the main themes anyway, And redemption is
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: almost like not the correct term because what happens is
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: they die before they're redeemed, and then they die before
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: they do any of the work of possible redemption. Because
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: you know, if you've done these terrible things, I'm not
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: saying you shouldn't try to fix isn't even the right word.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: But try to be better and try to do what
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: you can to help. But like as we've said, a lot,
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: forgiveness is not up to you, is up to the
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: person who you've wronged. So doing that hard work of
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: trying to be better, they never show that part. They
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: just are like, oh they're good now, good bye, they're dead. Um,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Like severa safe is a little different because you kind
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: of get this like flashback thing where you're like, oh,
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: he's been doing this, but still you don't really see it. Um,
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: it's sort of like mentioned like, oh, yeah, he has
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: been doing this stuff behind the scenes of trying to
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: safe Harry, but he was doing it. I mean not
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: to dismiss it entirely, but he was doing it for
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: very selfish reasons. Um. So that's the point I meant
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: to make and forgot to make. And I do think
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: that's important because it's kind of like we see all
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: of the terrible stuff they do and then they do
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: one thing where you're like, oh, okay, which is why
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: I think I do like Once upon a Time, there's
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: a lot of that. It's like it's continual miscommunication all
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: the time and back and forth. And it does try
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: to contrive on the idea that there's no just playing
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: good and evil. People have the mix. Um. But the
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: fact that Regina's story of trying to become a hero
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: or good last pretty much the entirety until the last season,
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: which that was like a big turn and I just
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: recently watched it because I hadn't seen that part. But
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: it jumps to Shark, where the main young character who
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: starts all of this uh as like an adult and
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: he has his turn to do all of the work, which,
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: by the way, in that as well, in the new
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: the last season, they have a new version of Cinderella
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: and the wicked Stepmother who was the villain, also has
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: a redemption arc. So there's a lot of women evil
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: women that kinda has a different conversation, different turn. I'm
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: sure there's a lot of the problematic things that I
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: have not noticed that like what, But the heroes and
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: the heroins are typically all women m hmm, with some
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: bad characters. So I do appreciate that. Yeah, yeah, and
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: that's good to know because I did research this and
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: people had a lot of examples, but a lot of
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: it was stuff that, um, I kind of had to
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: take their word for it because I hadn't seen whatever
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: thing they were talking about. So in my own experience,
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: I do agree that generally we're way more forgiving of
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: male characters and female characters, especially villains. But I'm happy
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: to know that exists. And I know there's a big
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: fan base for Once upon a Time, which is why
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: it lasted as long as it did. Um, And people
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: love Regina her character. That's awesome. Yeah, And I mean
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: I said, like I love Hella and getting the critiques
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: against her, But I love Hella, and there's been plenty
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: of women who are villains that I have loved. I
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: believe her name is Lana Paria. I'm so sorry if
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: I'm saying this wrong, but people love her like her
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: because she does evil. She has this deep, gravelly voice
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: and when she has that smirk. I don't know if
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: anybody could play this character better than her, like she
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: does an amazing job. And of course we have Jennifer Morrison,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: who used to be on a House and you know,
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: pretty famous, as well as Jennifer Goodwin and Josh Dallas
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: who was in the first Thor movie as the blonde
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: friend I can't remember. There you go the way I
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: like to eat cross restaurance, my shows and movies, I
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: love it. I love it. I often think of you
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: whenever someone's like it's this person from there, I'm like, ah, yes, Samantha, Okay,
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: So I'm glad we had that up. Bit. So this,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: this whole idea that I wanted to talk about, I'm
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: not going to go into it too in depth, is
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: something that kind of came to a fruition because I've
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: had a lot of family drama recently, and I just
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: got it in my head that like, what if I'm
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: the problem here, Like what if I've been looking at
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: this the entire incorrect way and in instances where I'm
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: trying to help, maybe I've been hurting and it's that
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: whole like from a certain point of view. Obi wan
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: Kenobi nonsense, I get what you're saying, man, but jeez,
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: and I test. I was thinking about it, and I
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: so one of the traits particularly in question, is I
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: am someone who I feel I struggle with expressing negative
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: emotions even when it would be healthy to do so.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: And because of that, and there's a lot of reasons
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: for that, and I believe I've talked about it before,
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: but one of them is I feel like women are
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: generally socialized to not be negative, um, to kind of
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: be these like positive life of the party socializers. I'm
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: going to make sure everything's fine, um and move on.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: And I just with some things that have recently happened,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: I started getting in my head of like what if
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: that did so much more damage than I ever realized
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: when I thought I was trying to help. And then
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: you know, then you go down to like, well, I've
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: been raised to be this way, um, and how many
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: other women feel this way? And then like what if
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: the other version of the events that's people in my
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: orbiter telling is that I am the villain of the story. Um.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: And then I got all my head of like, you know,
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: that makes sense for a certain extent. If you have friends,
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: they are going to be on your side if they're
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: good friends, unless you did something really terrible and then
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: they should rightfully call you out. So there's a part
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: of me that's that's like gets it. But then there's
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: also a part to be that has that sort of
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: trained women have to be liked unless you're a terrible person,
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: and then I don't care, But like, I have to
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: be liked and I have to do what's right and
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: I have to all these things. And we talked about
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: that in the episode we did on UM Villains and Heroes.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Is that you know, the story of the heroes that
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: they're selfless, which is fine, but it has been weaponized
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: against women, which we've talked about in past book clubs
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: and stuff. And then I just started thinking about how
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: that could look to other people and how that could
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: impact other people. So I don't know, I just I've
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: always tried to do like make people happy, and I
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: thought that was a good thing, but maybe it wasn't.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: And I'm doing some real self reflection on it. Uh lately,
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: I think we talked about We did talk about the
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: fact that I said, you're the Bruno of Vancanto, meaning
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: the mystery that really made no sense that he was
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: ostracized or blamed. It really didn't make any sense other
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: than he was just there, but they all wanted to
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: place this blame on him for no reason. And of course,
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: and then as we've grown up and come back and reflect,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: people are like, wait, you're right, You're not the problem.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: We're so sorry, we just needed to blame something. And
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: I'm saying this as in like not knowing much, not
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: just knowing the bits about your life, but like sitting
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: with you and kind of going through it, I'm like, wow, yeah,
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: for me, as someone who you, you're more likely to
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: make it sound worse than it is, as where some
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: people fluff it up to try to not sound as bad.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, it doesn't make sense. But essentially, it's
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: like it just happened to me. You were there and
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: it became a focal point and also kind of like
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: a lot of these stories that I get so frustrated by,
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: but they are miscommunicating and so because their secrets or
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: things that they can't be unfolded, that's things that can't
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: be said, Assumptions are made, and it becomes pretty big
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: plotline slash tragic in the overall because what you're doing
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: is trying to protect others, which is what happens in
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: these stories as well. And it's like if you got
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: only But of course it's not that simple. It's never
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: that simple. But that's that character too, of like, yeah,
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: you follow suit and that I'm trying to protect by
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: me protecting myself, I get hurt and get caught in
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: the crossfire and there's nothing I can do because you're
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: afraid of the results of being honest, which is a
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: whole different conversation, but yeah, it becomes that story. Yeah,
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: And I think, I mean that is a good point
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: because definitely, in examining this, it is kind of a
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: tragedy of everybody trying to protect everybody else and it
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: just escalated in a terrible way. But I also have
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: a lot of fears that I do think are very
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: sexist in nature, that like, I'm afraid that, but won't
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: believe me when I tell them things, and that's I've
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: been called out for stuff, and it's like I've literally
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: shut down, and I'm like, I don't know how to
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: prove this to you, but it happened to me, like
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: I don't. And then then I get all in my
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: head about like what if my brain is messed up
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: and I remember remembering things and you're remembering it correctly,
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: like all the intricacies of memory, and that freaks me out.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: But also I feel like women and marginalized people in
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: general are much more likely to just kind of turn
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: this the blame on themselves, like I should have done better,
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: should have done more. And so that's a part of it,
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: to where it's become very like and I'm trying to
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: get better, but it's become a very negative thing. It's
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: like all my failure is like a list of like, oh,
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: you're right, I did screw this up and this up
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: and this up and this up and all this happened
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: when I was a kid, and it's culminated. But um,
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: I think that is a part of it too, and
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: it just don't know. Sometimes something reaches a point where
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: it's so hard to to go back and talk about
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: it because you've just sort of part of your survival
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: is we don't talk about this, right, you don't talk
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: about Bruno. You don't talk about Bruno. But I don't know.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: I I imagine a lot of people who have gone
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: through trauma can connect to this some wave. I mean,
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: we even talk about it with victim blaming. It's kind
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: of related to that of like you're turning it in
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: on yourself and then all of the the kind of
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: ripples and how it impacts people who weren't at the
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: center of whatever um trauma. You can feel guilt for
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: that that you brought it up, or that you talked
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: about it or anything. I mean, it doesn't help when
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: you do have people in your life that you feel
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: like you can't share because they're not ready to hear it.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: Quote unquote. I think I told the story about I
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: literally got shut down because I was talking about work,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: um and my work was not pretty, but I was
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: kind of happy and literally got chastise because I made
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: someone who has never felt that way before feel bad.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: And again, yes, the Debbie down her content. I get it.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: It's not necessarily nice and you don't want to hear
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: that all the time, and I do have I did
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: have to like absolutely filter myself, but people would ask me,
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: how are you, and then they would ask questions and
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: I am not good at fake I'm good, How are you?
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: I'm not good. I don't want to. I don't like
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: that from people, so I don't give that either. But
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: they were also close friends of mine, and it just
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: was like I think at one point we were talking
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: about abuse and my abuse that I had gone through,
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: and the fact that I got mad that she had
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: shut me down and her husband had shut me down,
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: and they were there. It was just a little like
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: smith that really I got shut down that way, and
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: someone making an excuse trying to be good friends to
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: both of us, were like, but you know so and
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: so really can't deal with that stuff like that bothers.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: You know, she can't handle things like that, in which
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: my responses, who the thinks that can? Like, I was
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: so angry. I was in that angry tears because I'm like,
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: you know, what, if you would have asked me before
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: that happened to me, could I have handled it? No? Right, No,
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: No one gets up in the morning and say, man,
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: I could handle that. I can handle asaulter or violence,
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: Let's go. And I'm like, that's so unfair. If I'm
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: trusting you as my friend and you shut me down,
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: you're not my friend. Yeah. But because we've learned these lessons,
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: we have become very guarded and who we trust. And
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: I think that's that's part of all this stuff that
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to untangle, is because you know, we've we've talked,
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: we've been very open about this stuff. But a lot
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: of the trauma experience happy when I was a kid,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: and I like, look back, and there are certain things
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: that I did and said that I hate that I
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: did and said because I didn't understand. I was a kid.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: I didn't understand all these like you know, adult issues
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: around like a diction or whatever it was. And I
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: did shut down and I did become very closed off,
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: especially around like any men, any boys, uh, and kind
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: of combative. But I was a kid. So it's like
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: finding that forgiveness for yourself where like, yes, I regret
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: those things. I wish I hadn't done it, but I
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: was a kid, right, I didn't. And also who was
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: there to protect us? And there wasn't and that should
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: that should be the bigger conversation is that, yes, we
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: have regret as a kid. There are things that I
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: wish I'd never said. There are things that I wish
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: that wasn't done. This was my coping. I didn't know
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: what else to do, and instead of people seeing that
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: I needed help, they blamed me. Yeah, and I know
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: as people of trauma and childhood trauma know that conversation.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: And that's the bigger Like then that was trauma on
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: top of trauma, right, that's the like laying awake at
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: night and just turning these things over and over again
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: into your head and thinking why couldn't have done something different?
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: But you were like fourteen at the time or whatever
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: it is. I don't know. I think, as I've said before,
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: I think I said it in the very first happy
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: hour I did on the Cinnamon Roll. I think it
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: was always really important to me that to believe I
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: could be like as stilly as it sounds, the hero
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: of the story. So this was pretty like I'm glad,
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: I'm glad, I'm thinking about it. I don't think it's bad,
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: but it was sort of a setback. Yeah, it's a
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: lot mm hmmm. Yeah, And I think again, I think
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: those conversations are important to have about what we hold
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: up is like her away can won't we blanize? Um?
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, that's just something that's been on my mind. Um.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: I'm sure I'll have more thoughts. I'd love talking about
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: heroes and villains and all tropes they're in. Well, I'm
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: gonna need you to watch Once upon a Time so
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: we can talk about some of these characters in your
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Women around the World. Oh, okay, I'm into it. How
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: many seasons? How big of an endeavor am I looking at?
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: I think there's seven seasons? All right, so an endeavor.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: But all right, you can pick and choose and I
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: can help you out. You should do what I did
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: for you with Clone Wars. Send me unless first season
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: and then okay we can go because that that bread
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: is the foundation. All right, all right, I'm into it.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: And all I ask in request is watch Star Wars
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: with me all the time and Mark Hambill and what
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: we did the show which I've already started, come on
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: and screams and I'm a terrible friend, not at all,
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: You're not. I'm ready perfect, perfect, Well, here's yes, yes,
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: m Thanks to everyone for joining us. As always, if
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: you have any suggestions, anything you'd like for us to
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: talk about pontificate on. You can send them to us,
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: yes our email, Stuff in your mom Stuff at iHeart
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: mea dot com. You can find us on Twitter at
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: mom Stuff podcast or Instagram, and Stuff I've Never Told You.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: Thanks as always to our super producer Christina also a
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: hero obviously hero, and thanks to you for listening Stuff
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: I Never told the production of I Heart Radio. For
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: more podcast from my heart Radio is the heart radio app,
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.