Latest / Open The Gate / Ep. 20 - Blake Bidleman: Parenting, Business and the Art of Saying No

Transcript

Ep. 20 - Blake Bidleman: Parenting, Business and the Art of Saying No · Open The Gate

0:20
Speaker 1: Yo yo.
0:21
Speaker 2: It's been a minute.
0:23
Speaker 1: It's been a few minutes, but today big day, episode 20.
0:28
Speaker 2: 20.
0:29
Speaker 1: 20,.
0:29
Speaker 1: For those of you, number 20.
0:31
Speaker 2: That's a big deal, dan and I you and I talked about this in, I don't know, maybe November.
0:37
Speaker 3: October, something like that.
0:38
Speaker 2: We wanted to get a couple on the board for the end of the year.
0:40
Speaker 2: Yep, here we are in August and we're 20 episodes in.
0:45
Speaker 2: During a crazy real estate market, busy life, kids, yeah.
0:49
Speaker 1: Starting your own business.
0:50
Speaker 2: Yep Starting my own business.
0:52
Speaker 1: Celebrating anniversaries.
0:54
Speaker 2: All the things.
0:55
Speaker 1: And surviving the heat.
0:57
Speaker 2: Surviving the heat's been a big one.
0:58
Speaker 2: I went full Britney here a while ago.
0:59
Speaker 2: You guys can't see, but I shaved my head and I don't blame her.
1:03
Speaker 2: Actually it was.
1:03
Speaker 2: It was pretty good Deliberating.
1:06
Speaker 2: Huh, yeah so she didn't have 110 degree heat probably every day, but man it was really nice.
1:10
Speaker 3: I think that was more of the meth, probably.
1:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, it could have been.
1:14
Speaker 1: How many pools have you accidentally fallen in?
1:18
Speaker 2: Only one completely I've.
1:20
Speaker 2: I've had some close calls like up to the knee Like I start going in.
1:26
Speaker 1: I do like a fosbury flop to like you know, not falling in the pool, yeah, but just one full on in the pool and it was, that was on video, right, it was and it was in like january yeah, it was not warm my day was not done yet yeah, it was not awesome so we haven't.
1:40
Speaker 1: You haven't been like running late, your day is getting away from you.
1:43
Speaker 1: It you've gotten, you're're still working, it's 105 outside and you're like screw it, I'm just going to accidentally fall in this pool.
1:49
Speaker 1: I'm falling in today.
1:50
Speaker 2: Well, actually funny story I did last week get into a client's pool, but I was at the same pool that I fell in before.
1:57
Speaker 2: You met again who interestingly owns a pest control company.
2:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, I recognize the pool interestingly owns a pest control company.
2:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, I recognize the pool and I got I got smashed by a bunch of wasps on my arm after I did a repair.
2:10
Speaker 2: I was trying to turn something back on and apparently I'm allergic, which I did not know.
2:13
Speaker 2: So a few minutes later, you know, and again we're talking, it's so hot out that I was thinking, oh, I'm just kind of itchy, whatever.
2:20
Speaker 2: My crotch started getting really itchy, my hands, my back and I'm like 15 minutes in this is this repair went great, it went kind of quick, and then of course, I have to turn this thing on, these things to just keep bombing me, and so I got stung probably five or six times and, uh, fast forward, I'm like I'm full on having a allergic reaction here.
2:40
Speaker 2: So I have another client right down the road and I bombed over their house and by the time I got to their house, two, three minutes later I was like head to toe red hives, oh, my goodness, did you have to epi yourself?
2:52
Speaker 2: I did.
2:53
Speaker 2: I don't.
2:53
Speaker 2: I didn't have an epi pen, I didn't know.
2:54
Speaker 2: I was even allergic.
2:55
Speaker 2: So I go to their house.
2:56
Speaker 2: I get up, you know, I knock on the door, the little 12 year old opens and he's like just is your mom here, I gotta get some benadryl is your firefighter brain, just like totally taking over exactly, and so I started like down their children's, you know their entire thing of benadryl, pop, a couple things, and I'm starting to lose my mind a little bit at this point, like I'm so itchy, it is unbearable, and I I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go jump in the pool.
3:20
Speaker 2: So I don't know why I thought that would help, but it does not help actually at all.
3:25
Speaker 2: I just was under underwater like a little fetus, just like scratching myself, and I got out of the pool and I can start to feel my mouth and my face start to swell up oh, you're like on the path to anaphylactic yeah and I'm like you know, the one thing you can't do in this situation is call the fire department.
3:41
Speaker 2: It's the only rule, like as a fireman, it's call the fire department.
3:43
Speaker 2: It's the only rule.
3:43
Speaker 2: As a fireman, you just cannot call the fire department.
3:44
Speaker 2: So I walk back over to the house, I grab a towel and I say, hey, does my face look kind of weird?
3:49
Speaker 2: And they just look at me with this weird face and I go, that's probably enough.
3:54
Speaker 2: And I said you better call.
3:57
Speaker 2: I could start feeling my tongue, I didn't have a problem breathing.
4:01
Speaker 2: But then I hear that, you know, the fire engines come in.
4:04
Speaker 2: Then I hear they're coming from the other side of the King Road in Loomis.
4:08
Speaker 2: I hear the train, so they get stopped by the train dispatchers on the phone with me and you know it's crazy.
4:14
Speaker 2: It's like I was never worried.
4:15
Speaker 2: I was going to go down.
4:16
Speaker 2: My blood pressure, I could feel was starting to go.
4:18
Speaker 2: I was getting a little dizzy, but I never had trouble breathing.
4:20
Speaker 2: But they got there and I took like five shots, like those little peel off catch-ups that they have.
4:25
Speaker 2: You know they kept popping those open of Benadryl and then which makes you, you know, drowsy antihistamine.
4:31
Speaker 2: Then you get epinephrine which constricts everything.
4:33
Speaker 2: It's basically just adrenaline that helped a ton.
4:36
Speaker 2: But by that time I got that I had like white blotches all over my it was kind of nuts, and then they made me go in an ambulance to Sutter and it's pretty crazy.
4:47
Speaker 1: Right you take all these you didn't tell them you were a firefighter.
4:50
Speaker 2: I didn't but my buddy goes oh he knows what's going on.
4:54
Speaker 2: He's a fireman and then everyone looks at you and then it's the walk of shame it is the biggest walk of shame, more than like the college girl on creek row you had like multiple bee stings to show Like it wasn't like.
5:06
Speaker 2: Oh, this one little bee, you know what's so weird is I literally could not find them on my arm, oh wow.
5:11
Speaker 2: So I don't know if it was like 12 monkeys or inception or something.
5:14
Speaker 2: Maybe this was all a dream within a dream, but um yeah.
5:18
Speaker 2: So when I get to the hospital I'm all amped up right on the epi stuff, like.
5:22
Speaker 2: But when I'm all amped up right on the epi stuff like, the highs went down and I felt so much better by the time I even got to Sutter, but I still had like raised red everywhere.
5:29
Speaker 2: And then I got in their bed soaking wet Cause I I just had my shorts on and my underwear that I jumped in the pool in, so I'm sitting here, I look like I pissed myself and I'm super uncomfortable, and then I get started getting real drowsy because the adrenaline wears off and you have all that.
5:42
Speaker 3: Benzo so.
5:43
Speaker 2: I'm trying to like take off my finger thing.
5:46
Speaker 2: It was just ridiculous and the whole time I was thinking I just don't have time for this, I'm too busy.
5:51
Speaker 2: I wasn't even grateful that I didn't have like die, I was just like I'm too busy to be here in the hospital.
5:56
Speaker 2: My wife came and she's like it's going to be all right.
6:03
Speaker 2: We were supposed to go to the River Cats game that night with my kids and I was like, oh, we can still go.
6:09
Speaker 2: And she's like you're going to be asleep before we get out of here.
6:12
Speaker 2: But you know, it just kind of harkens to today's episode, a little bit of like my life's been so busy that that was the first thing I thought of was like I don't have time to sit in this hospital bed.
6:21
Speaker 2: Yeah.
6:22
Speaker 1: I think that's all I could think of, as you're telling that story is how perfect the overlap really is.
6:28
Speaker 1: And you know, I think you know truth be told, we'll just let the cat out of the bag.
6:33
Speaker 1: I mean, it is a little bit of a somber tone to the podcast today.
6:37
Speaker 1: Blake is going to be stepping away from the podcast, which obviously, you know, one door closes, one opens.
6:43
Speaker 1: So we're going to actually introduce a former guest to the podcast as our new co-host, Ms Kaylee Cornell.
6:52
Speaker 1: We're expecting her to carry all the weight, like Blake has done, through the first 19 episodes, I hope you've been doing your leg work, so when I get about nine months before I start having panic attacks.
7:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly that's when it sets in.
7:04
Speaker 1: We had to beg her one to come on board and two to go back and actually listen to some of the stuff that we've created.
7:09
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, you guys will do great.
7:13
Speaker 1: So we are a little off script.
7:14
Speaker 1: But, Blake, why don't you go ahead and play that song?
7:19
Speaker 2: I will.
7:19
Speaker 2: I'll play myself in, I'll play in our next.
7:21
Speaker 1: You've got to play yourself in.
7:21
Speaker 2: You can play yourself in Our next guest.
7:23
Speaker 2: I'm not going to lie.
7:34
Speaker 2: It's a good thing that today's my last day, because that sounds terrible.
7:39
Speaker 1: I definitely did something wrong with that.
7:40
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's me.
7:40
Speaker 2: You know what I did?
7:41
Speaker 2: I took it off.
7:42
Speaker 2: I took it off my Bluetooth, yeah.
7:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's me.
7:44
Speaker 1: You know what I did.
7:44
Speaker 1: I took it off my Bluetooth.
7:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it.
7:45
Speaker 2: Well, whatever, freaking John Denver, it's full of shit anyway it's full of shit anyways.
7:49
Speaker 1: Absolutely, that's very fitting though Odyssey.
7:52
Speaker 2: that just sums up everything that's going on.
7:54
Speaker 2: So it was Country Roads by John Denver, if you can't tell.
7:59
Speaker 3: And that's it.
8:05
Speaker 1: We're going to take you home.
8:05
Speaker 1: Yeah Well, it's been a hell of a ride.
8:06
Speaker 1: I've loved every minute of it.
8:07
Speaker 1: To be perfectly honest, Today is, yeah, a little bittersweet.
8:11
Speaker 1: Like I said, the structure for today is pretty wide open.
8:15
Speaker 1: We definitely want to hit on some of the things that we always hit on, the staples for the pod, but I think, you know, let's just kind of jump in man.
8:22
Speaker 1: So, Blake, what's been going on?
8:26
Speaker 2: Well, first I'll say sitting here with us is Kaylee Cornell.
8:28
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, say hi to everybody, because we're kind of weird here.
8:31
Speaker 3: Hi everyone, hi everyone.
8:33
Speaker 2: So if you don't know Kaylee, kaylee was already on the show, I think the number one.
8:37
Speaker 3: I'm neck and neck I'm tied.
8:39
Speaker 2: Oh, she checked again.
8:41
Speaker 1: One of our top rated she hasn't yet sent it to enough people to say can you just play this five minutes so I get the download credit?
8:49
Speaker 1: Yep, Please.
8:50
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know how I'm spending my afternoon, yeah.
8:53
Speaker 2: Today Email blast and, honestly, there's nobody I could think of better to kind of take over for me.
8:59
Speaker 2: So, yeah, long story short, just my life has gotten exponentially busy.
9:03
Speaker 2: Dan and I kind of talked about starting this podcast.
9:05
Speaker 2: Um, right before I started a pool repair business, um, I still do mortgages, I still am a firefighter in the city of Seattle and have three kids.
9:14
Speaker 2: So, um, what was something that I kind of laughed off when people were like you're crazy and that's, you're too busy for really, the last couple of years, like, I have found myself now to a point where I'm just totally slammed and things like this that are connected to my work life but are not, like, absolutely vital I just have to cut out, because I'm to the point now where I have to make decisions about, like, do I do this, or do I go to my kid's soccer practice, or do I do this, or can I be present at home for like one movie with the kids without being on my phone, because I can cram that time in at five in the morning to do all my invoicing.
9:49
Speaker 2: So, um, yeah, it's, it's bittersweet for me too, because this has been awesome.
9:54
Speaker 2: It's been a great way to meet people.
9:55
Speaker 2: We did.
9:56
Speaker 2: You know, actually, all three of us were at that awesome sacral producers event and I wouldn't say it's it's necessarily the end, but it's definitely like.
10:04
Speaker 2: Um, I don't say it's necessarily the end, but it's definitely like I don't know.
10:07
Speaker 2: It's like adios, not see you later.
10:08
Speaker 1: It's goodbye for a little while Until next time, ttfn.
10:11
Speaker 1: Is that the old way, tata, for now.
10:16
Speaker 2: If I'm giving you the Winnie the Pooh vibes, then I've failed at every aspect of my life, but that's it.
10:22
Speaker 2: I mean, really, I've loved this.
10:23
Speaker 2: It's been great, um, but I have been so busy and it's funny.
10:32
Speaker 2: I started that business and it's laughable now, but I just didn't think it was going to be this hard.
10:34
Speaker 2: It's been, it's grown faster, it's been better in a lot of ways, um, I've learned more in a shorter amount of time, but it's been.
10:41
Speaker 2: It's really, really hard.
10:42
Speaker 2: So I've talked about being an entrepreneur before, but, um, all the stuff that you and I have sat here and talked about, like the mindset, things like it I've almost had to listen to myself to coach myself back up, to like get on the horse, get through the day, and then you and I, before the podcast, talked about being super stressed out and just like trying to eat the elephant one bite at a time, and I've I've been squarely looking at just the elephant for for a while here instead of instead of chewing.
11:06
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think, I think that that's a perfect segue to kind of open the conversation to mental health in this industry, not just in this industry, but in all industries that entrepreneurs and families face, especially in this economy right now, in this global presence.
11:23
Speaker 3: It's, it's.
11:24
Speaker 3: I don't think we talk about it enough.
11:26
Speaker 3: There's times when you know tragedies happen and we talk about it for a little bit, but then the conversation fades and we all go back to the grind and we all go back to that facade of we have our shit together.
11:37
Speaker 2: Yeah.
11:37
Speaker 3: But ultimately we are all struggling with our own stuff and you're brave and courageous enough to share with us today about that.
11:45
Speaker 3: Um, but I think, I think we all need to make time for ourselves and our happiness.
11:52
Speaker 3: What brings us joy?
11:53
Speaker 3: I mean the, what I felt when you said in the hospital bed.
11:59
Speaker 3: All you could think was I don't have time for this.
12:00
Speaker 3: I'm like wow yeah yeah, that's it.
12:04
Speaker 3: That's exactly why I'm stepping in for you, to give you some time back and I appreciate that very much big shoes to feel, though I mean that metaphorically and literally, because you're like a size 11 11 and a half, which is we don't Blake and I don't like to discuss shoes yeah, we don't, uh, pretty normal for our height actually, um, and make, make whatever correlations you want.
12:25
Speaker 2: Probably true, this is a very Irish shoe size.
12:27
Speaker 2: So yeah, you know, it's just and to be honest it's funny Like I had waited like weeks to even bring it up to Dan.
12:36
Speaker 2: I'm not good at letting people down, I'm not good at saying no to things.
12:40
Speaker 2: I mean in this last year, like somebody asked me to run for school board, I mean in this last year, like somebody asked me to run for school board somebody.
12:51
Speaker 2: I mean there was a million things in my head.
12:52
Speaker 1: I want to do them all you know and and I just can't.
12:53
Speaker 1: So I saying saying no.
12:54
Speaker 1: There there is a degree of of of liberation in saying no, um, and obviously I mean all of us having a background in a sales environment.
13:01
Speaker 1: Saying no is really hard.
13:03
Speaker 2: Yeah.
13:03
Speaker 1: Because it's scary and so totally understand.
13:07
Speaker 1: I think, like we were talking about, I mean, the mental health and the imposter syndrome and the correlation between the two.
13:14
Speaker 1: We were talking about it before the podcast.
13:17
Speaker 1: Just opening up Instagram, open up TikTok, and you see all these people in their perfect lives, and we talked about it Like no, we've all got shit going on, like it's just, you know, a matter of one, if you're willing to to open, open that box with yourself and then if you're willing to open that box with with others, or we could say open the gate open the gate a little bit.
13:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, a hundred percent Great segue.
13:40
Speaker 2: You're going to do great.
13:40
Speaker 2: You're going to do great.
13:41
Speaker 2: Well, that's true.
13:42
Speaker 2: I mean to hit on that like I had Instagram for before I was in mortgage.
13:46
Speaker 2: So about five years ago I did not have an Instagram or Facebook.
13:50
Speaker 2: I had had them in college and as a young adult and then I just I have a really hard time.
13:56
Speaker 2: I think, probably like everybody, I just got sucked into it a lot and so I shut it down and I gotta be honest, I did not miss it at all, I didn't.
14:04
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm sure I didn't know all the memes, I didn't know.
14:08
Speaker 2: Honestly, that was where I was probably getting most of my media for the world, so I didn't know what was going on as well, but I can't say that I was any less happy getting in the mortgage.
14:17
Speaker 2: I kind of convinced myself, um, this is something that you got to do and, quite honestly, like it was a way I connected probably, kaylee, with you for the first time, dan, maybe even with you, uh, certainly with other referral partners, with all sorts of people, and I built up this great facade.
14:31
Speaker 2: Truly is what it was and it is for all of us.
14:33
Speaker 2: Um, and I spent a ton of time putting up every mortgage that I closed and you know new tips for people, and I just had this spotlight syndrome I think of.
14:45
Speaker 2: Like I thought people were like really looking at that and I needed to make it and ultimately, like I shut that down a couple months ago just for my own mental sanity.
14:54
Speaker 2: I was wasting too much time.
14:56
Speaker 2: Um, again, like I had to choose.
14:58
Speaker 2: Like is this time I'm going to like zone out on this when my wife's talking to me or has it?
15:02
Speaker 2: Time I'm going to zone out cause on this when my wife's talking to me or has it?
15:04
Speaker 2: Time I'm going to zone out because my kids are here or am I going to be like on it in my car while I'm driving, um, and it was not making me any happier, um, so I I did shut it down, and I'm not saying everybody needs to.
15:14
Speaker 2: I do feel like a isolation from the mortgage world a little bit with that.
15:18
Speaker 2: I do feel like man, I'm going to lose some business because of that.
15:21
Speaker 2: There's a lot of kind of demons in my head about that, but ultimately it was you know, these purging these things.
15:28
Speaker 2: I just had to say no to something and realistically, I think probably it was two, three hours a day between picking my phone up a hundred times, looking at Instagram and going down something about like the best tryouts for British, you know whatever, britain's got talent or something like that, right.
15:39
Speaker 2: So all that to say yeah, britain's Got Talent or something like that, right.
15:42
Speaker 2: So all that to say yeah, there's just a lot of facets of mental health now, like where we're spending our time and, if you think about it from, like, the perspective of humans, like we've had 24 hours a day, for I don't know, I'm not an anthropologist, but like in our modern history, right.
15:57
Speaker 3: Since the beginning of time.
15:58
Speaker 3: Since the beginning of time.
16:09
Speaker 2: But in the last let's call it 10 years, or since the invention of the iPhone, we have so much more we're expected to do in that time, like you're expected to catch up on all your emails and, probably for most of us, a business account and a personal account, if not multiple, multiple social media pages.
16:19
Speaker 2: That if you're in business, you have to kind of keep up on multiple text messages and phone things.
16:23
Speaker 2: And then I don't even I'm old, I didn't know what this stuff is, snapchat or whatever else that you have these personas on all these platforms.
16:29
Speaker 2: Or if you're looking for reviews, like your Zillow profile and everything else, and so all of a sudden you get through the day of like just the checkoffs that are kind of equivalent now to like brushing your teeth or putting on your makeup, whatever it is.
16:40
Speaker 2: It's just a lot to do and it kind of it has to come from somewhere.
16:50
Speaker 3: It's.
16:50
Speaker 3: It's hard because, as an entrepreneur, you feel this obligation to have a presence there, right?
16:52
Speaker 3: We have these demons inside, like you mentioned, that are telling us if you're not there, you're, you're missing out.
16:55
Speaker 3: And it's so easy to manipulate these microseconds of life that we see as we're surfing through it and scrolling through it, and we don't have the capacity to, as we see it, you know, work through our brain and say that isn't their real life.
17:10
Speaker 3: So our brain is taking what we see and making it mean like that's how it looks for them all the time.
17:15
Speaker 3: Man, my life doesn't look like that.
17:16
Speaker 3: And then the comparison rolls in and that's when our all of our joy gets stolen.
17:20
Speaker 3: So it is one of those necessary evils of like yes, for business it can be really profitable, it can be really helpful, but how do you balance, how do you maintain a presence there without losing yourself, without losing hours of your day, with it still being productive for your business and for your mental state, right?
17:38
Speaker 2: And I feel like Dan, you're the great master of the calendar and Diane, like you, probably have a better handle on that.
17:43
Speaker 2: I couldn't handle it very well.
17:45
Speaker 1: You know, honestly, I think for me, like as you guys are talking about this, my role in our organization is to be that guy.
17:51
Speaker 1: So so, living in that social media space and world and, you know, touching on reviews and things like that, and multiple direct messaging platforms or mass text messaging platforms, is really the world that I live in and it's always there because my phone's always there.
18:11
Speaker 1: I do, I have to exercise a lot of discipline.
18:14
Speaker 1: I probably have my phone available a little too late in the evening and I probably go to it a little early in the morning, I think, little too late in the evening and I probably go to it a little early in the morning.
18:26
Speaker 1: Um, I think for me, though, it's also just a response, understanding of my responsibility in this role.
18:29
Speaker 1: I mean, we have 30 plus employees and if I'm leaving stuff there, you know it's not just me, that that um that suffers from that Um, but at the same time, like I've, I'm also like pretty, pretty good about drawing lines.
18:47
Speaker 1: Um, I don't miss a ton of my kids stuff for work things.
18:49
Speaker 1: I make sure that I prioritize and balance my schedule, but I think it does go back to like my discipline with with my schedule my calendar.
18:55
Speaker 1: I'm a huge one of the when I first got into this world, like one of the, the Keller isms right, like if it's not in your calendar it doesn't exist, and and I grabbed on onto that concept because I was super unorganized before that and I and I just use it and I mean, like it took a while, it took a couple of years of you know, going back and forth with my wife, who's who's a little more laissez-faire about stuff.
19:18
Speaker 1: She, she likes to show up with things right on time where I'm typically, you know, 15 to 30 minutes early, because I get anxiety if I'm running late and um which is why we're such a good pair.
19:26
Speaker 2: I think this is the first episode I've ever been on time.
19:28
Speaker 2: That was one minute early.
19:32
Speaker 3: Yeah.
19:33
Speaker 1: But uh, but you know even even like that, like just just the adaptability and learning how to?
19:38
Speaker 1: You know, instead of beating my head against the wall trying to get her to.
19:40
Speaker 1: You know, it's like I just slowly started introducing the calendar and you know, we have we use a family calendar, which really helps because my kids are super involved in stuff now and, unfortunately, you know, they they're not old enough to drive themselves to things, so we have to get them to most of their things.
19:52
Speaker 1: Um, so it's just, it's just, it's an evolution, it's, it's hard because I just feel for you, man, like my heart, my heart goes out, like I want to, like my, my personality, I want to just, you know, give you a big hug and do anything I can to help you out.
20:12
Speaker 1: And, um, you know, sometimes you just I can't do that, and it's so, it's.
20:17
Speaker 1: It was hard being on the other side of the phone, you know, knowing that you're having those struggles and things you're going through, and you know the best advice I can give you is stop staring at the fucking elephant man.
20:26
Speaker 1: You know, like, yeah.
20:28
Speaker 2: And that's it.
20:28
Speaker 2: Like you know, it's like that, that balance between, like you have to look down the road, right, If you just look down a path, you don't really know where you're going.
20:37
Speaker 2: So I think for me that's it right now.
20:39
Speaker 2: Like I've been fragmented, I've I've done a lot of things.
20:41
Speaker 2: I don't feel like I'm in a position to really give anything up.
20:45
Speaker 3: Um, and yeah it's crazy.
20:47
Speaker 2: It's like I mean, when I say it out loud of, okay, I have a job, that's a more stressful job and work, you know, a base schedule of 60 hours a week, and it's not even in this state, and then I started a business in this state and then I'm still doing loans, Like it.
20:59
Speaker 2: It sounds great, and I'm married and I have kids, and so, you know, everybody in my life is suffering because of that.
21:04
Speaker 2: So, um, it's just something to figure out.
21:07
Speaker 1: I was really hoping I'm going to kind of force it to come up today.
21:10
Speaker 1: It's like it's the life stages, friends who have, who have older kids that have, that have just flown through high school.
21:24
Speaker 1: Like I mean my business partner, his son's a senior right now and I'm like dude, when we teamed up, like he was in seventh grade, so we've gone through like this this time warp, and I'm like he's a young man now and I've been able to observe that and my, you know, I've been hoping my daughter's going into high school She'll be a freshman in about a week and a half and, um, everyone tells you, slow down, enjoy the ride.
21:38
Speaker 1: You know, take your time, it's going to go fly by.
21:40
Speaker 1: Like I feel, like I fully embrace that, like I'm fully aware that it's going to fly by and it's just like, okay, don't, don't miss, don't miss it.
21:48
Speaker 1: And um, but again, like, even generically, like my kid, my son will be 12 this month, my daughter's 14.
21:57
Speaker 1: Like they can stay home, like they can, they can be home by themselves, they can.
22:01
Speaker 1: They can, for the most part, cook a meal and sustain for themselves for a little while without you know, without us being totally terrified of them burning down the house, like that's not your situation, like I don't have, we don't, we don't, we don't.
22:16
Speaker 1: My kids went to daycare when, when my wife and I were both working and it was basically eliminated, basically my income at that time to just offset that.
22:26
Speaker 1: For me it was personal, like I couldn't, I couldn't do that, like I couldn't be home with all those times it just wasn't enough.
22:34
Speaker 2: I didn't love my kids.
22:34
Speaker 2: I just couldn't.
22:35
Speaker 2: No, it's a grind.
22:35
Speaker 2: Five and two-year-old.
22:36
Speaker 2: So we are, you know, we're in it.
22:39
Speaker 2: And it's awesome, it's great.
22:40
Speaker 2: But even this morning she was trying to take them to the beach and like everyone was crying and no one was listening and my little dude's throwing stuff off the top of the stairs and calling me a poopoo nuts.
22:51
Speaker 2: So you know it's nuts, because it's hard, because I think for the stay-at-home parent it's intangible.
23:02
Speaker 1: There is no reviews, nobody who hasn't hoed that road knows what it's like.
23:06
Speaker 1: When we moved back from Kansas City, my daughter was three and she was tough.
23:13
Speaker 1: Three-year-old they say terrible twos.
23:16
Speaker 1: I'll tell you right now.
23:19
Speaker 1: I always thought threes were way worse than twos.
23:21
Speaker 1: She was tough.
23:21
Speaker 1: My son was six months old and I was home.
23:23
Speaker 1: I was out looking for work and I was like I swear to God, I was going to take the.
23:27
Speaker 1: I was going to take the first job that came to me because I it was so hard.
23:30
Speaker 2: It's hard.
23:31
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm soft, but it was, it was.
23:33
Speaker 1: it was harder than any occupation I've ever had, it is.
23:36
Speaker 2: And I think that there's a level of guilt that I'm not a mom, right?
23:40
Speaker 2: Actually, when Melissa and I first got married, prior to moving to California, so really until about three years ago I was doing mortgages and I was doing the fire department.
23:49
Speaker 2: We lived in Washington.
23:50
Speaker 2: She did hair, and so I would literally get off shift, drive 60 miles home, get there just in time for her to go to her clients.
23:59
Speaker 2: I would literally get off shift, drive 60 miles home, get there just in time for her to go to her clients.
24:01
Speaker 2: She would do that all day.
24:02
Speaker 2: And I'd be with Waverly, my oldest, who literally I was remodeling a house at a time I mean, I was not the best dad I would sit her on a Home Depot bucket and put an iPad in front of her and I'd caulk windows and paint, trim and do all that stuff.
24:19
Speaker 2: Because for me at that time too, like I definitely did do a few years of the day, the swapping off with mom at home, and it is, it's a grind.
24:23
Speaker 2: You're by yourself, really.
24:23
Speaker 2: You know, like you, you're not really enjoying a meal with anybody.
24:25
Speaker 2: You're doing the same thing over and over, and so I try to be cognizant of that too.
24:30
Speaker 2: It's like I'm working really hard and then I come home to someone who's been getting their ass kicked and I'm kind of out there getting my ass kicked.
24:35
Speaker 2: So everyone's just getting their ass kicked all the time.
24:38
Speaker 2: And then that stage of life too, right, we're laughing.
24:41
Speaker 2: But yesterday was my anniversary and, to be honest, we were both pretty tired and stressed out about stuff and my wife actually, to her credit, did an awesome job kind of pulling it together and we had a pretty decent day.
24:51
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's just a stage of life that is just kicking my ass, for lack of a better term.
24:57
Speaker 2: A stage of life that is just kicking my ass for lack of a better term.
24:59
Speaker 2: And it's not, it's not bad things, it's first world problems.
25:01
Speaker 1: And hopefully someone said this to you, but like it's going to pass, You're going to get through it.
25:07
Speaker 1: It's not going to it's not going to beat you, it's not going to.
25:09
Speaker 1: It's not going to overwhelm.
25:10
Speaker 1: It might overwhelm you, but it's not going to win.
25:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know.
25:22
Speaker 2: Well, and I appreciate friendships like you guys.
25:23
Speaker 2: I mean I truly do, because it's sometimes when you're in this and for those of you who don't know, like I've struggled with anxiety, depression, I've been medicated before off medication, self-prescribed, all the things Guilty, and you know what's interesting about that I have a unique perspective for anybody that's listening that deals with that, or somebody that does deal with that, because in the fire department, believe it or not, it's, it's something we deal with a fair amount with patients and and I don't mean patients, like you know, having patients, although that it takes that as well but we have a lot of people that we go and see that are, that are having a panic attack and it presents itself in very presents itself in very multitude of ways, but like very impressible, impressionable ways that aren't physiologically observable.
26:07
Speaker 2: So I have so many people that I work with who will say this is bullshit, why are we here?
26:12
Speaker 2: This is dumb, like just snap out of it and it.
26:15
Speaker 2: It's something I can kind of say like I gotta be honest, man, like it it's the worst Like when you're in it and I can't sleep.
26:20
Speaker 2: You're up at three in the morning like this sense of impending doom.
26:23
Speaker 2: So I stopped sweating a few minutes ago in here.
26:26
Speaker 2: But like I was sweating.
26:27
Speaker 1: I'm still sweating.
26:28
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but you're always sweating, so it's um it's tough.
26:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it comes and it goes when it when it decides to um, and you can't talk yourself out of it necessarily, and then it takes its toll on your spouse has to deal with you in that way and so, and then life keeps going right.
26:44
Speaker 2: If you're a young single person, you want to pull the covers up over your head on a Saturday and, you know, watch old chocolate and chill out.
26:51
Speaker 2: Um, I guess you can.
26:52
Speaker 1: But we really wants to go hit balls off the tee.
26:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, that would be a great thing, right, I still had a business to run and do all the things, and so it's just, um, it's tough, and I my heart goes out to anybody that's dealing with that too and and so that was kind of the impetus for, like, I had to take some stuff off my plate, even though I don't feel like, you know, I'm at the buffet and I'm out of room and I'm only halfway down the line but it's you know, the plate is full and and ultimately just having to go back to my kind of core, I got to take care of the five of us and my little family first and then and kind of go from there and some of those things just are not removable in our life.
27:27
Speaker 2: They got to stay on the plate.
27:27
Speaker 2: But all that to say like this is this has been super fun for me and it's going to continue to be an awesome episode and thing and, to be honest, like I'll get to listen to it now and yeah, I mean in a year or so, like polar pool professionals, is going to be able to afford to be a sponsor.
27:42
Speaker 1: And then we'll plug, you guys.
27:47
Speaker 1: I mean live.
27:48
Speaker 2: I know it'll be great, so, um yeah, but I'm excited you're here, Kaylee.
27:52
Speaker 2: Thank you.
27:53
Speaker 2: Yes, and I won't talk about your first 90 days in real estate, cause that's what we were supposed to do.
27:58
Speaker 3: I know I'm just.
27:59
Speaker 3: I'm really honored to be here.
28:00
Speaker 3: I feel a huge responsibility to carry on the Blake energy in this podcast and I'm really excited to do that because I know that I am capable.
28:10
Speaker 2: Oh, you're more than capable.
28:12
Speaker 3: But I just I want to tip my hat to you for for raising your hand and saying that I need to do this.
28:18
Speaker 3: I think the burden of high achievers is like you mentioned.
28:22
Speaker 3: It's really hard to let people down, but we never think about what we're doing.
28:26
Speaker 3: That is letting ourselves down like ever.
28:29
Speaker 3: We never prior prioritize ourselves and you're doing that right now and it's not easy.
28:33
Speaker 2: But I appreciate that.
28:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not, thank you.
28:36
Speaker 1: Well, there's there and you know I mean from the other side of the table.
28:39
Speaker 1: There's no letdown here.
28:40
Speaker 1: I mean it's not.
28:42
Speaker 1: You got an upgrade pretty much.
28:43
Speaker 2: It's like a firmware download.
28:44
Speaker 2: You just got the new iPhone here.
28:46
Speaker 2: He's got all the buttons, yeah, yeah.
28:50
Speaker 3: Yep, I have Yep.
28:52
Speaker 2: Yep.
28:54
Speaker 3: We'll sail past that so.
28:56
Speaker 1: I'll sail past that.
28:59
Speaker 1: So let's touch on this because I think it's been an underlying theme balance.
29:04
Speaker 1: I think we talk about that work-life and balance and I think what we've all learned is nobody's definition of balance or vision of balance is probably the same.
29:16
Speaker 1: I would say, you know, and I can't speak for you, but running two businesses and being a public servant in the fire department, which you travel, you know, basically a full day each four to fulfill that job, like your definition of balance is going to be way different than mine.
29:31
Speaker 1: My definition of balance would be like you know, I'm not willing to miss, you know, two of my kids' activities per week and I'm going to find out how to figure out how to get the work done, whether that means I'm up at five, 30, getting stuff done or whatever.
29:44
Speaker 1: Um do you want to talk about?
29:46
Speaker 1: About you?
29:46
Speaker 2: know what you're doing right now.
29:48
Speaker 2: Well, I can dovetail on something Kaylee said.
29:50
Speaker 2: Kind of right, because especially in a market like that's tough right, like stock market's kind of tanking today, people are nervous about a lot of things up today.
29:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, real estate is has been funky, for lack of a better term.
30:03
Speaker 2: I think there's a lot of people are are struggling, so I don't mind talking about my own.
30:06
Speaker 2: Um, although I am so distracted I lost my train of thought.
30:10
Speaker 2: Balance, balance.
30:13
Speaker 2: Um, I think that I have not put like really good blinders on, like like you have, of saying like or stops, so to speak, like there hasn't been one.
30:24
Speaker 2: I obsess about my business.
30:25
Speaker 2: I I like literally physically like shake, thinking about it and I got to go downstairs middle of the night and like I forgot to invoice this thing and I've got to get it on.
30:33
Speaker 2: So getting better systems like to to help me have some balance and trust in those things.
30:38
Speaker 2: And you know, to be honest, like I'm a startup, that is what it is, so it's been.
30:41
Speaker 2: I just don't think that's a time of balance, so to, so to speak, um, but then also like like you talked about Kaylee, is I'm I'm nervous to like not take on a new client or not answer the phone immediately, or like we get a fair amount of business from Google or reviews, certainly, like anybody that, um, there's some like Loomis Facebook posts, like people I got to follow up on that right away, and there's some truth to that.
31:02
Speaker 2: But I've also taken my time a little bit on like trying to be more selective on who my clients are.
31:07
Speaker 2: I'm not saying yes to everybody.
31:08
Speaker 2: I actually have a goal, which I shouldn't say out loud, but like I want to like drop five clients by the end of this year, and so that may or may not happen, but in my head I like built this list and it's not like a hatred thing, it's just where am I spending my time that's not yielding things for my business and my family and my health.
31:26
Speaker 1: Well, every high-level business is going to analyze that as well, and obviously the bigger you are, I don't know if it's ever easy to turn away a client or a customer.
31:35
Speaker 2: It's really not.
31:36
Speaker 2: No, Mentally it's really challenging.
31:39
Speaker 3: Especially when it's a relationship.
31:39
Speaker 1: But I, you know it's funny, when I was, when I was in, I was on the streets doing, uh, food sales door door, like a cisco company, like a cisco um, I was in kansas I can see you right now like a do-rag.
31:50
Speaker 2: Hey man, you want to buy some canned tomatoes?
31:52
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what walking and walking into, walking into, like restaurants.
31:56
Speaker 1: Walking into restaurants while the you know, while the chef's sharpening his knives and trying to solicit some business from him, is a pretty exciting endeavor.
32:05
Speaker 1: But the reason I bring it up is the first sales manager I ever had.
32:10
Speaker 1: One of the first pieces of advice and this was as I made my transition out of restaurants and into the sales world.
32:16
Speaker 1: He said there's clients out there that you want your competition to have and and I've never forgot that that was almost 20 years ago and uh, he said they will, they will, they will be a time suck.
32:27
Speaker 1: He said they will sell you down the river.
32:29
Speaker 1: For, you know, at the time we were selling, you know, selling hamburgers.
32:31
Speaker 1: So he's like, for a penny, a pound, he goes, what are they?
32:34
Speaker 1: Are they buying a million pounds?
32:35
Speaker 1: Like you know, is it even still be?
32:37
Speaker 1: What 10 grand Like is it?
32:39
Speaker 1: Is it really worth it?
32:40
Speaker 1: Um, if they don't value you like that.
32:43
Speaker 1: So and that's always kind of stuck in the back of my head and I've always kind of approached the business that way Like it's, is it a mutually beneficial thing?
32:51
Speaker 1: Like if, if someone's just just sucking up all your energy and cause, because they always get the positive energy first.
32:57
Speaker 1: Right, because you're afraid to unload the negative energy on them, because you know, and maybe you should, maybe maybe at that point they, they choose to walk away and it's you.
33:06
Speaker 1: Don't even have to make the choice.
33:07
Speaker 2: But I think I've shifted the mindset a little bit, if I had some.
33:09
Speaker 2: You know, we're in a customer service industry and we try to do a really good job, but that's just it's.
33:22
Speaker 2: It's super hard for me to let people down and I want to be super accommodating on everything.
33:24
Speaker 2: Of course we messed up.
33:25
Speaker 2: This is that.
33:25
Speaker 2: And then I realized, like actually, you know, I've had a couple instances where I had a client accused one of my employees of lying about something that he did.
33:33
Speaker 2: That I know he did and I know he did it correctly, because we have a system to document all that.
33:37
Speaker 2: And so it's that delicate balance to have, like professionally responding to the client and also having the back of your people and then finding a solution too.
33:44
Speaker 2: So there's some growth opportunities in there too that I felt good about, like as a business owner to hey, I'm going to kind of put this person on the warning a little bit of like, hey, no, we're really fulfilling the obligation that we want.
33:56
Speaker 2: If there's a standard that you want us to meet that we're not, like, I kind of need to know about that.
34:01
Speaker 2: But in the meantime, like we're not going to say somebody is a liar, this crew, because that's kind of not the case, and being willing to be like that person could tell me to F off and I'm going to go find somebody new and it's nice to be in a spot, at least to be like I'm okay with that, I'm okay with that, I'm okay with that Cause.
34:16
Speaker 2: If that's how you're going to handle that, then that's not something I really want to be afraid of anyway.
34:20
Speaker 3: Yeah, in terms of balance, some advice that I was given and I can't even remember who told me this I wish I did, cause it's something that stuck with me.
34:29
Speaker 3: But sometimes the concept of balance seems impossible, especially when we have so much on our plate, and what they told me was that life isn't so much about balance, it's more like a pendulum and it swings to the area that needs your attention the most at that time, and right now you're.
34:48
Speaker 3: You know you're babysitting two new businesses.
34:51
Speaker 3: One of them you've had a little bit longer, but you're also working in other business, out of state.
34:54
Speaker 3: Like you, have so much going on, and your family too, that, like your pendulum, is just swinging where it needs you to focus the most.
35:01
Speaker 3: So you know, maybe it isn't about balance, maybe it's just that healthy swing and making sure that the pendulum doesn't get stuck on one side so much Um.
35:11
Speaker 3: But I wonder what it would be like if you treated yourself as your best client.
35:18
Speaker 3: You know how would you prioritize your life?
35:19
Speaker 3: What would you say yes to?
35:20
Speaker 3: What would you say no to if you thought it would hurt the relationship with your best client being yourself?
35:25
Speaker 2: That's pretty interesting.
35:26
Speaker 2: I don't know if I have a good answer for that.
35:29
Speaker 3: Oh, maybe it's a rhetorical question.
35:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, food for thought yeah, food for thought, the one thing I mean a couple of things that I can do.
35:35
Speaker 2: Kelly and I talked before the episode about some of these challenges and you know, some things you just can't control right.
35:39
Speaker 3: You can't control the market, can't control really what it comes down to is you literally can only control yourself and your thoughts and your actions.
35:46
Speaker 3: You cannot control the outcome of that.
35:49
Speaker 3: You can't control what other people are going to do.
35:51
Speaker 3: Think like the only thing we can control is within this meat sack of our body.
35:56
Speaker 3: And sometimes even that seems impossible, but worrying about all of the other possibilities of what could go wrong, what they could do, I mean we could worry ourselves to death in a day or that.
36:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's something I've just really struggled with a lot lately and so you know, one of the things I learned from one of my coaches in mortgage was his daily ATMs.
36:15
Speaker 2: We call them actions that mattered and I've talked about them a lot in the past and I really haven't been doing them.
36:19
Speaker 2: So, like some of the great things are like, when you get these coaching things in the past or you build up relationships like we have here and you learn little quips about what other people go uh or makes them go, you know you can get away from those and then they're still there to kind of go back to and revamp and the cool thing is like they're not brand new, right, it's the same shit, it's the same stuff that works.
36:38
Speaker 2: So for me it's like the actions that matter, like I have to work out.
36:42
Speaker 2: I mentally don't feel great, but I've got to get up and and go for a run or go lift weights or go do something.
36:48
Speaker 2: And it's not because it's not a physique thing or even a health thing.
36:50
Speaker 2: It's like if I don't do that I don't even have a chance mentally for the day, like I've got to do that.
36:54
Speaker 2: So trying to focus on those things where I can.
36:57
Speaker 2: My little dude wakes up in the morning.
36:59
Speaker 2: I try to go get him every morning because I know no matter what else is going on.
37:02
Speaker 2: I get to hold my little guy and we get to hang out and laugh for a few minutes and the rest of the day could just be a grind, and sometimes it is.
37:10
Speaker 2: But I'm going to make sure he's two.
37:19
Speaker 2: He's out of diapers, so he's two, but he's in diapers.
37:20
Speaker 1: The Bidelman's got a quite a while.
37:21
Speaker 1: I won't even lie.
37:22
Speaker 1: He's breastfeeding still.
37:23
Speaker 3: So it's two and a half but I know he's going to be a strong guy, I guess so.
37:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you can, you can infer what you will, but yeah, so just trying to trying to focus on the things that I can.
37:32
Speaker 2: But I will be honest, I guess there's other people that are your mind's running wild on on all the what ifs.
37:38
Speaker 2: Um, somebody did tell me that my mom actually told me this one time.
37:41
Speaker 2: She goes what if, what if?
37:42
Speaker 2: Instead of thinking about all the things that could go wrong, what have you thought about all the things that might go right?
37:46
Speaker 2: You know, and I think about my business.
37:48
Speaker 2: I'm like gosh, what if?
37:49
Speaker 2: What if my employee?
37:50
Speaker 2: This is my newest fixation.
37:51
Speaker 2: What if my one of my employees quits and I've't?
37:55
Speaker 2: I can't fulfill it.
37:57
Speaker 3: And she goes, yeah well, that would suck.
37:59
Speaker 2: I don't know what to tell you.
38:00
Speaker 2: Like I don't know what you'll do, but like what if you just keep on growing and you just keep attracting people that aren't going to do that and then you hit your goals?
38:07
Speaker 2: Like what if that happened?
38:08
Speaker 2: And I it's funny like we just don't, we just don't fix it on those things.
38:12
Speaker 3: Naturally I don't think psychologically it's a lot easier and maybe more gratifying for the brain to focus on the negative.
38:18
Speaker 3: It's always been a psychological phenomenon that we naturally focus on the negative.
38:24
Speaker 3: It takes more work to be positive.
38:26
Speaker 3: I think fear is also a great motivator.
38:29
Speaker 3: It's also protected us as a species for so many years.
38:32
Speaker 1: You're obviously a highly motivated human, so, yes, I would imagine that, yes, like that, fear is something that motivates you.
38:39
Speaker 1: Okay, like how, how do I prepare myself, position myself to to not let this overcome me.
38:44
Speaker 1: You know what's, what's the, what's the escape plan, or whatever.
38:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so you know that's just, and then at the end of the day, it's like that's just part of being a business owner.
38:51
Speaker 2: I think, now that I am, that I have such a greater profound respect for entrepreneurs.
38:58
Speaker 2: I mean, it's a lot of entrepreneurs.
38:59
Speaker 2: They're all pretty much independent business owners in the real estate world, even down to the lenders and you know, they're at the end of the on day one.
39:18
Speaker 1: If they don't have a deal in the pipeline, they don't have a paycheck coming.
39:21
Speaker 3: So it's all you as an entrepreneur no one's coming right.
39:24
Speaker 3: You're on your own in every way, financially, you know, with your advertising with your business business management, client management all of that is on you.
39:38
Speaker 2: Which?
39:38
Speaker 2: Puts a ton of tons of stress on every decision that you make because, yeah, there's, there's no like 40 hour clock out and you know you did a mediocre job this week and you still get paid right, it's not a full-time job, it's an all the time job.
39:45
Speaker 2: It is.
39:45
Speaker 2: I mean that's funny.
39:46
Speaker 2: I mean we've all heard this, but somebody told me last year about real estate.
39:49
Speaker 2: They're like you know, I quit my nine to five so I could worry about my business 24, seven and it's true, yeah, it's, it's, um, it's true.
39:58
Speaker 2: But to talk about balance, bring that back is I can't worry about my business 24 seven right?
40:03
Speaker 2: Because you know, maybe Steve jobs, as amazing as he was sound like, he had some pretty flawed relationships and maybe that's kind of that.
40:11
Speaker 2: You obsess about some 24 seven.
40:12
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that I am Apple, but, um, I work hard and I want to work hard so that I can do things for my family and spend time with my family.
40:23
Speaker 2: And so trying to be aware of like okay, where is this pendulum?
40:26
Speaker 2: And swung over this way for like so long that.
40:29
Speaker 2: Or you know, I'm missing those things, like if I can't even assistant coach a team for my kids or make it to most long that.
40:33
Speaker 2: Or you know I'm missing those things Like if I can't even assistant coach a team for my kids or make it to most of the games, or if I'm so exhausted at night cause I'm so stressed in the morning I get up early, I can't, you know, watch a show with my wife or hang out.
40:43
Speaker 2: Then you know what's it all for, kind of.
40:46
Speaker 2: And so I think you know again, you just can't let go of all of the obligations, but you've got to pare down the things that you can and then do the actions that matter where you can.
40:56
Speaker 1: What I want to circle back to.
40:57
Speaker 1: We were kind of talking about before we started recording too.
40:59
Speaker 1: You mentioned you're working hard, you're working hard, you're working hard, and I kind of said, hey, that's a given, we know who you are, we know your personality.
41:08
Speaker 1: I think the problem might be you're working a lot, you're working too much, and people we hear it all the time oh, I'm so busy, I'm so busy, I'm so busy Well, stop focusing on being busy and prioritize and get organized.
41:20
Speaker 1: But I think that, like for you, you've got three irons burning in one in one fire, and that's a lot.
41:27
Speaker 1: And so stepping back and prioritizing is obviously what you're doing right now.
41:32
Speaker 1: Um, from from where we're sitting, where we see you succeeding and doing well, I mean, yeah, it's got you, it's got it's, it's it's.
41:39
Speaker 1: You're taking your lumps right now.
41:41
Speaker 2: I am.
41:41
Speaker 2: But you know, like I said, I appreciate having great friends and I appreciate that, for whatever reason, that's not something I'm uncomfortable talking about, because it's just, uh, I think if you had to do this and not talk to anybody about it, um, it's tough, like it's, it's too lonely and it's already.
41:56
Speaker 2: Like you take these industries, they're kind of lonely.
41:58
Speaker 2: Running your own business is very lonely, you know it's, it's amazing and you're going to have the Instagram profile or whatever else.
42:05
Speaker 2: But, man, it's a lot of hours of just doing stuff by yourself or planning or figuring out and all the all the grunt work.
42:11
Speaker 2: And when you start something like I have no problem with this.
42:14
Speaker 2: But like you wear every hat right.
42:22
Speaker 2: Like I'm marketing, I'm the CEO, I'm the janitor of the errand boy on the shipping and receiving and invoicing and, um, you know, luckily I hired a bookkeeper, cause I think I'd probably be in jail by now if I hadn't but yeah, it's just a lot, it's just a lot.
42:33
Speaker 2: So I guess part of this too is like a tip of my cap to the entrepreneurs out there, like it's just hard, there's, there's no way about it, and I think that's okay to just say, like man, it's a lot of work.
42:43
Speaker 3: I think this episode is going to resonate with a lot of people, Cause I can think of 10 people right off the top of my head who I've had these exact conversations with over, you know, recent months and years past.
42:53
Speaker 3: It's it's something we all struggle with.
42:55
Speaker 3: Some of us are more comfortable and brave to be able to talk about it as frankly as you do, and but I think nobody is immune to the struggle.
43:04
Speaker 2: And you know, dan, you said that earlier it's like it's it's hard to look around, especially I think this is a, you know, relatively I wouldn't even say affluent, but like well-to-do.
43:11
Speaker 2: There's a lot of achievers in this greater area and so, yeah, it's hard.
43:15
Speaker 2: Like I was telling you guys before the podcast, there's days I just look around and there's a couple hundred thousand people here and I'm like how do you guys do it?
43:21
Speaker 2: Like, how are you parenting, how are you making time for your marriage?
43:25
Speaker 2: How are you taking care of yourself physically, mentally working, promoting, whatever it is?
43:31
Speaker 2: And the truth is like I think that's the we talked about this before on social media is like you have this fallacy that you take all those little pieces and you create this one life online that doesn't really exist.
43:43
Speaker 2: Cause, cause, quite realistically, nobody's doing all of those things very well at any given time.
43:49
Speaker 1: Every I is not dotted or every T is not crossed.
43:52
Speaker 1: We've all, we all stumble, we all stub our toes.
43:54
Speaker 1: Um, I think you know.
43:56
Speaker 1: Like I said, I always come back to what makes you different.
43:59
Speaker 1: As you know, knock down nine times, get up 10 and, uh, not letting those things keep you down and especially when you're running out of breath and the surface is not very near, just hang on and keep fighting.
44:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's.
44:13
Speaker 2: That's kind of what's going on these days.
44:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, fighting away.
44:16
Speaker 3: Yeah Well, we love you and we're really proud of you.
44:18
Speaker 3: You're going to keep kicking it.
44:20
Speaker 2: Thank you very much In the butt.
44:22
Speaker 1: So, so we have the two staples, we have the walkup song, and then we also have the final question, every single, the final question of every single podcast, which is so easy to do, to everybody else.
44:30
Speaker 1: It's so easy.
44:32
Speaker 3: No pressure.
44:32
Speaker 1: So if you could be anybody for a day, dead or alive, who would it be, and why and what would you do?
44:41
Speaker 3: as that person, what would you do?
44:43
Speaker 3: That was a question I could not answer publicly.
44:48
Speaker 2: That is hard.
44:48
Speaker 2: I don't know.
44:49
Speaker 2: I really don't have a good answer.
44:50
Speaker 2: I didn't like prepare for this, even though this is like the staple of the show.
44:54
Speaker 3: You've never thought about it.
44:55
Speaker 2: You asked this question at least 20 times and I've, and I've always been like wow, people have these.
45:01
Speaker 2: Like we've had some very deep answers and we've had a couple of funny ones.
45:03
Speaker 2: Um yeah, I don't know, I might be my future self, like I might be myself at the end and just come back and be like right now I would say like that's who I'd be.
45:14
Speaker 2: I'd come back to today and be like it's going to be all right or you're fucked.
45:19
Speaker 1: One of the two Abort abort.
45:20
Speaker 3: Yeah.
45:20
Speaker 3: Should have stuck with that podcast man.
45:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I could just envision that like I could be the old me, like a day from death, and like just come back and give me like a head nod and a fist pump and be like all right, we're gonna be, we're gonna be good yeah, so I don't know, I guess I have some more time to think about that now you do yeah, I'll phone in my answer well, you'll be our first caller it's a deal I'd be happy to be.
45:47
Speaker 3: Well, I guess that's it ta-ta for now should you have a walkout song, or do you want to?
45:56
Speaker 1: we'll be good well, man, like I said, it's been an incredible ride.
46:02
Speaker 1: I've loved every minute of it.
46:03
Speaker 1: I can't wait for you to come back and then we'll just buy more equipment and this thing will be like you know, the three co-hosts, and we'll just gang up on guests at that point, I guess.
46:15
Speaker 3: They'll never get any word in it.
46:16
Speaker 3: No, no, they won't get most of the jokes.
46:18
Speaker 2: No, you guys are going to do great.
46:19
Speaker 2: Kaylee, you will do fantastic, and I'm super proud to call you guys friends.
46:22
Speaker 2: I mean you truly are friends in every sense of the word.
46:24
Speaker 2: Through some of my struggles here checking in, and, dan, you've always been great.
46:28
Speaker 2: You guys were wishing me a happy anniversary and, um, so yeah, I would say like I'm very, very grateful in a, in an industry where I might speak very frankly, like there's a lot of bullshit, phony relationships, um, you guys have been really great friends and I I super appreciate that and and I think that I see in this industry, like other people that do have really good friends and it makes all the difference, it really does.
46:51
Speaker 2: So I appreciate that, guys and we