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Transcript

THE FINAL DISCARD: Do Narcissists Ever Truly Leave You Alone? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So you've blocked them. You hit that block button, you
• 0:04
  finally cut them off. You change the locks in your
• 0:07
  house, you change forwarded their mail elsewhere.
• 0:11
  But some reason you're still waiting for that text message
• 0:15
  from them that says, hey, what you doing?
• 0:18
  I miss you. Hey, big head, hey big butt,
• 0:21
  whatever it is, right? Hey, hey dukey, hey, hey dukey
• 0:23
  butt whatever. They got some kind of pet pet
• 0:25
  playful nickname that they give you.
• 0:26
  Are you waiting around for that right there?
• 0:29
  You waiting around for a fake Instagram message or something
• 0:31
  like that? You really truly want to know?
• 0:34
  Do they ever truly leave you alone?
• 0:37
  Will a narcissist ever leave you alone?
• 0:41
  Will they ever leave you? Because I get a lot of times in
• 0:43
  the conversation they say Lee you're a diagnosed narcissist.
• 0:46
  Can you answer this question for me?
• 0:47
  Will a narcissist ever truly leave you alone?
• 0:50
  Please leave please please please.
• 0:51
  That's what we talked about today y'all.
• 0:54
  The cold hard truth about narcissist and hoovering leaving
• 0:57
  you leaving you alone and other stuff like that but keeping it
• 1:00
  hot and ready. Narcissist never forget you.
• 1:05
  I'll leave with that right there.
• 1:07
  A narcissistic person will never ever forget you right?
• 1:12
  So no, yo, all the other stuff, they would never ever forget
• 1:16
  you. That's not how it work.
• 1:17
  The mind of a narcissist does not work like that.
• 1:19
  I can't just forget anybody like that.
• 1:22
  Like if I spent some quality time with you, if I've known you
• 1:26
  now if it's if it's a one night stand or something like that,
• 1:28
  you might be forgotten. I don't know like that you might
• 1:31
  very well be forgotten. I don't make the rules, right?
• 1:34
  But if it's deeper than that, if we've been together for a while,
• 1:38
  we've dated for years or whatever, we shared something,
• 1:41
  they know they're not going to forget you.
• 1:44
  Now, forgetting and leave you alone, two different things,
• 1:48
  right? They will never, ever forget
• 1:50
  you, but that doesn't mean that they will always bother you,
• 1:55
  right? Just because they don't forget
• 1:57
  you, it doesn't mean that they will always bother you, that
• 2:02
  some of them will absolutely leave you alone, right?
• 2:05
  So I'm going to just kind of get into more detail and explain the
• 2:08
  difference between like being deleted or being put on a shelf,
• 2:13
  put on a supply shelf, so to speak, right?
• 2:16
  The supply shelf and things of that nature.
• 2:20
  You know what I mean? I've been trying to book your
• 2:23
  time for an hour. I had to check my site, my site,
• 2:25
  my website, mentalillness.net for all things Lee Hammock.
• 2:30
  Welcome to the live, y'all. Welcome to the live.
• 2:32
  Welcome to the live. But yeah, we're going to hop
• 2:35
  right into it, y'all. No, no, no waiting around, no
• 2:37
  nothing. Again, the we're going to talk
• 2:40
  about, we're going to call this the supply shelf.
• 2:41
  The shelf, the shelved supply. To a narcissist, people are kind
• 2:48
  of like apps on a cell phone, right?
• 2:51
  You can download an app on a cell phone, you know what I
• 2:53
  mean? We might close the app.
• 2:56
  We might or like like window, like windows on a browser or
• 2:59
  apps on the phone. We might close the app or close
• 3:02
  the window, but it still might be running in the background,
• 3:06
  right? It's not deleted.
• 3:08
  It's still there. It's still in the search
• 3:10
  history, right? I might, I can close the window
• 3:12
  on my computer right now and but it's still in the search
• 3:15
  history. All you got to do is click you,
• 3:17
  you click in the the line we put your type of stuff in.
• 3:21
  It pops right on up, isn't it? It pops right up search history.
• 3:25
  You're still there like so some people are, they will put you on
• 3:29
  the shelf. It doesn't mean that they get
• 3:31
  rid of you. So they put you on the shelf,
• 3:33
  right? It doesn't mean that that
• 3:35
  typically they're not going to leave you alone.
• 3:38
  If you're on the shelf, they won't leave you alone.
• 3:41
  Y'all know if y'all been following me?
• 3:42
  I use the Toy Story analogy, right?
• 3:45
  Always tend tend to use the Toy Story analogy of how would you
• 3:48
  in in the Toy Story movie, we're going to say Andy is a
• 3:52
  narcissist. I'm not saying that Andy is a
• 3:54
  narcissist, but in Toy Story, Andy is a narcissist, right?
• 3:58
  Andy has his favorite toy. Woody.
• 4:01
  You, you are Woody in this situation.
• 4:03
  You are the current supply. I get the most validation from
• 4:06
  you, from Woody, right? But all of a sudden, out of
• 4:10
  nowhere, new shiny supply, Buzz Lightyear comes into play.
• 4:15
  You know, Buzz Lightyear is the new supply.
• 4:18
  I might put Woody in the toy in the toy chest, just like just
• 4:22
  like Andy did in Toy Story, put him in the toy chest.
• 4:24
  But he didn't get rid of him. He played with Buzz, Buzz, Buzz,
• 4:28
  Buzz Lightyear at the rescue, right?
• 4:29
  Buzz flying around the room. You know, all that type of stuff
• 4:33
  happens. He got rid, he didn't get he put
• 4:35
  Andy on. He put Woody on the shelf, but
• 4:37
  he didn't get rid of Woody. Woody was still there.
• 4:40
  He just was playing with Buzz more Buzz with a shiny new
• 4:43
  supply. But he didn't want to just give
• 4:46
  Woody away so anybody else could have Woody.
• 4:49
  He put Woody away so that he can play with him when he needed to.
• 4:52
  Some of y'all if if you're on the shelf, there are still
• 4:55
  reaching out to you. They're they are still
• 4:57
  contacting you, they're still messaging you, calling you,
• 5:01
  liking your stuff on Facebook. Sometimes you are still, you are
• 5:04
  still sleeping with them right? Even if even if they moved on to
• 5:09
  a new supply, you are still sleeping with them.
• 5:12
  I hear y'all be surprised how many times I hear that story
• 5:14
  right there. Lee, they left me for Lee.
• 5:17
  They left me for someone else, but like Lee Lee, they left me
• 5:20
  from someone else, but they came back to me and said that they
• 5:23
  made a mistake and now we've been sleeping together, but they
• 5:26
  won't leave the new supply. They keep me.
• 5:28
  They keep me around, though. What should I do?
• 5:30
  I was like, first of all, stop fucking them because that's not
• 5:33
  going to help anything. Because if you're asleep with
• 5:34
  them while they're with somebody else, they think that you're OK
• 5:38
  with being the side piece. Because are you not?
• 5:43
  Are you not? I jumped off the shelf and left
• 5:46
  the house. Are you not?
• 5:52
  I don't make the rules. You see what I'm saying?
• 5:54
  That's what ends up happening right here.
• 5:55
  This one goes on. So sometimes if you don't have
• 5:58
  to contact them and you're done with them, if you feel like
• 6:00
  you're on the shelf, you have to block them.
• 6:08
  There's no other way around it right?
• 6:09
  What's going on Tammy? There's no other way around it.
• 6:12
  Hey, what's going on Mama Mama Morp, what's up, but there's no
• 6:15
  other way around it. If y'all just join them live on
• 6:16
  YouTube, whatever Facebook make sure I hit the thumbs up button
• 6:19
  drop a comment in the comment section.
• 6:20
  I'm in the comments as well. Y'all, as y'all can see, I've
• 6:23
  been going live a lot more having a I've been going live a
• 6:27
  lot more. I like talking to y'all like
• 6:28
  answering these questions and stuff like that because I took
• 6:31
  myself off the shelf yes, but just think about it like that.
• 6:33
  That's what ends up happening. Like if they are, if you're
• 6:37
  consistently dealing with them while they have someone else,
• 6:40
  they're going to keep you at on the side, they're going to keep
• 6:43
  you on the shelf, right? Y'all know, my, it's some of
• 6:46
  y'all might have taken my course.
• 6:47
  I have a course called understanding the seven stages
• 6:50
  of a narcissistic relationship. This stage I called, I called
• 6:54
  the recycle stage or this like I call it actually called storage
• 6:57
  or storage or recycle. They put you in storage, they
• 7:01
  keep you there, right? You know they put you in
• 7:03
  storage, they keep you there. They do all this type of stuff
• 7:06
  because it benefits them to have backups.
• 7:09
  One person very rarely is enough for a narcissist.
• 7:13
  If y'all want to check out my course
• 7:15
  courses.mentalillness.net, you can find my courses there,
• 7:17
  right? But they very rarely are just
• 7:21
  going to be able to deal with one person, you know, so they
• 7:24
  like having backup supplies. Sometimes they when they, when
• 7:27
  they are, when they are with you, they have a backup supply
• 7:31
  that is someone else. You know, they have a backup
• 7:34
  supply that is someone else. But when they're with somebody
• 7:36
  else, they might have a backup supply that is you.
• 7:40
  And some of you are willfully in the backup supply position
• 7:43
  because something's going on, right?
• 7:45
  We, we're trauma, trauma bonded. Something is going on.
• 7:49
  Something is going on. I'm down with my RC.
• 7:50
  Yeah. Power up, power up.
• 7:52
  If you're new to this channel, I surely know what you're talking
• 7:54
  about. Appreciate that 7.
• 7:56
  But yeah, they are. This is what they got going on.
• 7:59
  This is what happened. This is what they do.
• 8:01
  So you have to get into this space right here.
• 8:02
  Mine had hundreds, hundreds of supplies.
• 8:04
  Damn. He tried to triangulate me with
• 8:08
  the new supply and I walked. Good for you, good for you.
• 8:11
  Because if you are, we are you. If they are able to get a
• 8:13
  reaction from you or to triangulate you, they're going
• 8:16
  to keep doing the same things over and over again.
• 8:19
  Even if you are married to them. Yes, absolutely.
• 8:21
  Even if you're married to them, they can have a backup supply
• 8:23
  and sometimes you might be the backup supplier even.
• 8:25
  Like they might leave you, stay refused to divorce you and stay
• 8:29
  married to you and have you on the side.
• 8:31
  You see what I'm saying? That happens too.
• 8:34
  It's this type of stuff. Sometimes you got to worry
• 8:35
  about, man. Like they will play in your
• 8:37
  mind, it will play in your face. This is what they do sometimes.
• 8:40
  They do all this playing and messing with you because a lot
• 8:43
  of narcissistic people enjoy it. They get a rise out of it,
• 8:46
  right? They absolutely get a rise out
• 8:48
  of messing with you and doing the things that they are doing
• 8:51
  to you because they, it makes them feel empowered.
• 8:53
  It empowers them to do more because they feel like they can
• 8:57
  get away with it, right? That's the baby steps they had
• 9:00
  to take right there. So some of them will absolutely
• 9:03
  not leave you on. They'll put you on a supply
• 9:05
  shelf. But on the flip side of things,
• 9:08
  on the flip side of things, there are a lot of narcissists,
• 9:12
  right? You know they will leave you
• 9:14
  alone. You know they will leave you
• 9:16
  alone. A narcissist will leave you
• 9:21
  alone if they feel like they cannot get any type of supply
• 9:24
  from you anymore, right? When it when they stop, when
• 9:28
  they stop getting reactions from you, when you stop reacting,
• 9:31
  when you start taking your power back, when you stop giving them
• 9:34
  energy, when you stop responding to them.
• 9:36
  Sometimes when you even when you Gray rock them, you know, it's
• 9:39
  like it's not necessarily always about going to a contact that
• 9:41
  disappearing on it. When they are, when you Gray
• 9:43
  rock them and they are no longer getting that emotional reaction
• 9:47
  that they are used to from you, that can lead to this going on
• 9:50
  as well, right? This can happen too.
• 9:54
  So you sometimes you got to think about it in that position
• 9:56
  in that space right there of this is how it works out as
• 10:00
  well. You know, you grey rock them,
• 10:02
  you take away the supply that they're getting and then like,
• 10:05
  look, when you are, if you're grey rocking them, you don't
• 10:09
  imagine your cell phone going imagine your cell phone going
• 10:11
  dead, right? You know, right before it go
• 10:13
  dead, especially you got an iPhone, the battery, the battery
• 10:15
  light turned red, don't it? It's red.
• 10:18
  That's how it is when you're grey rocking the narcissist,
• 10:20
  their supply battery is on red. You know, it's red as hell.
• 10:25
  It's absolutely red and it's it's red and it's flashing 10%.
• 10:30
  They try to go on power save mode.
• 10:32
  So they do that type of stuff right there and they keep doing
• 10:34
  it over and over again to try to get a reaction from you, to try
• 10:37
  to find a, a way to get a supply from you, a way to get something
• 10:40
  to drag something out of you. And does it work sometimes?
• 10:42
  Yeah. That's why grey rocking is so
• 10:44
  important. That's why taking it like figure
• 10:46
  out, figure out the type of supply that they are getting
• 10:51
  from you and take it away from them.
• 10:54
  If it's emotional supply, take it away from them.
• 10:56
  If it's sexual supply, take it away from him.
• 10:58
  Is it physical supply, physical intimacy, take it away from him.
• 11:01
  If it's financial supply, take it away from him or limited
• 11:03
  right slowly. Sometimes it's very difficult to
• 11:06
  just turn it off, turn it down. Whatever you're doing, turn it
• 11:10
  down. Sometimes you have to turn it,
• 11:12
  turn it down right. You have to turn it down.
• 11:15
  If y'all just join in on YouTube, make sure y'all hit the
• 11:17
  thumbs up, hit the like button. Also drop a comment as well.
• 11:21
  Subscribe as well if y'all just pop it up over here.
• 11:23
  You ain't subscribed go what stopping you from subscribing?
• 11:27
  You know? So Gray rocking is a way to take
• 11:30
  the power back from them and give it no supply.
• 11:32
  But also if you cause a narcissistic injury which leads
• 11:35
  to a narcissistic collapse. Sometimes that's how you get
• 11:38
  deleted. Sometimes that's how you get
• 11:40
  them to leave you be there. Sometimes they'll leave you
• 11:41
  alone forever if you cause a narcissistic injury right?
• 11:46
  A narcissist or leave. What is a narcissistic injury?
• 11:50
  I'm glad you asked. A narcissistic injury is when
• 11:55
  you do something to crush their ego.
• 11:57
  Their ego is smacked ferociously.
• 12:01
  You do something to ferociously smack their ego.
• 12:04
  You either move on and find somebody that makes them feel
• 12:08
  this big or you just be at. You show that you don't need
• 12:12
  them, You live without them, You're happy without them.
• 12:14
  That's also crushes their ego because narcissists at the end
• 12:16
  of the day want to be needed. We want to be needed.
• 12:24
  So if our ego, if, if we, if we, you see, you don't need us.
• 12:28
  That crushes the ego. But the best and most efficient
• 12:31
  way to crush a narcissist's ego is to expose them.
• 12:35
  Let's keep it high and ready. The most efficient way to crush
• 12:37
  a narcissist's ego is to expose them in some way, shape or form.
• 12:41
  How can I contact you? It's on the screen, right?
• 12:43
  You can find me at mental y'all, Everything is at
• 12:44
  mentalhealthness.net. Even my, even my e-mail address
• 12:46
  is on there. Mental healthness.net,
• 12:48
  everything is on there. They will like a lot of times
• 12:51
  they will leave you alone if you cause a narcissistic injury that
• 12:54
  they cannot recover from, right? If they cannot recover from it,
• 12:57
  it causes a narcissistic injury and it does some damage, right?
• 13:01
  But you have to be careful. It's always a but, isn't it?
• 13:04
  You have to be careful causing a narcissistic injury because as
• 13:06
  you know, some of them will lose their damn minds, right?
• 13:09
  You cause a narcissistic injury, they might try to retaliate.
• 13:13
  They're gonna you, you injure me.
• 13:14
  I need to injure you back times 10, right?
• 13:18
  He still follows me on social media on a fake page that he
• 13:20
  won't tell me about. Oh, yeah.
• 13:23
  If he's following you. This is weird.
• 13:24
  Yes. So you know, I'm watching on
• 13:25
  social media from a fake page. I told denar he can't reject me.
• 13:31
  He rejected me. He rejected himself.
• 13:33
  Yeah. Be safe.
• 13:34
  Be safe, Natalie. But that's what goes on y'all
• 13:36
  like in the mind of a narcissist, like sometimes they
• 13:38
  will leave you be. Like, it's not impossible.
• 13:40
  I know some people just like it's impossible.
• 13:41
  They don't know some narcissists.
• 13:43
  Yeah, I'm just telling you, sometimes y'all not just dealing
• 13:45
  with your regular run of the middle narcissist.
• 13:47
  Some of y'all are dealing with psychopaths.
• 13:49
  Some of y'all are dealing with crazy narcissistic people that
• 13:51
  are out to try to hurt you and bring pain to you.
• 13:54
  That's just the truth of it right there.
• 13:55
  Some of them are out here trying to hurt you and brain and just
• 13:59
  disrupt your life, disrupt your peace.
• 14:01
  And some of them are so broken that they won't leave you alone,
• 14:04
  right? Who's it that Yep, perfect word,
• 14:06
  perfect word right here. Obsession.
• 14:08
  Like they become obsessed with you to a certain extent and they
• 14:11
  just drive some crazy. It really does drive them crazy.
• 14:15
  Sociopathic. Yep.
• 14:17
  Do they perfectly? Some of them absolutely
• 14:18
  purposely trigger you to try to make sure that they still can
• 14:21
  get some type of try to make sure that they have some type of
• 14:24
  control over you so that they can get that narcissistic supply
• 14:27
  from you, right? Some type of validation from
• 14:29
  you. Because if you give me a
• 14:30
  reaction, Nikita, if you give me a reaction, I think I still
• 14:34
  have, that validates me, letting me know that I'm in some type of
• 14:37
  control right over here, right. Oh, Theresa, I saw your e-mail.
• 14:40
  I meant I meant to respond to you today 'cause I saw you.
• 14:42
  You're local. I saw you from, I think you said
• 14:44
  Tarboro. I saw, I saw, I got caught up.
• 14:46
  I responded to you. I promise.
• 14:48
  I did see your e-mail. I did see it, yes.
• 14:51
  The malignant ones are crazy. The malignant ones, I just.
• 14:54
  I just had a call right before I have done this live, but that's
• 14:57
  why I was at 110 and not 1:00 with a young lady.
• 14:59
  She's dealing with a malignant narcissist.
• 15:00
  That's stalkery and crazy. That's what happened right
• 15:02
  there, y'all. So now that's what ends up going
• 15:04
  on. Yes.
• 15:05
  Obsessed. Yup.
• 15:07
  Are they on ADL? Some of them are ya?
• 15:09
  Yeah. Some of them absolutely are not
• 15:10
  all. Some are.
• 15:12
  Some are. It's the blaming me for
• 15:14
  cheating. Yeah.
• 15:16
  They always find an excuse and do stuff like that.
• 15:18
  They always find an excuse to cheat or whatever, right?
• 15:22
  She said she doesn't know me. Well, she's the one who's been
• 15:24
  in my house. Can you clean my house?
• 15:25
  But she's cleaning your house. He left me six months ago.
• 15:29
  I cut him off. Yep.
• 15:30
  Sometimes you have to like, yo, sometimes you have to force the
• 15:34
  narcissist to leave you alone. You have to force them to leave
• 15:38
  you be. If how do you force them?
• 15:41
  Sometimes you got to Sometimes you like you got to wind up.
• 15:46
  You got you got to hit you got to sometimes you got to hit him
• 15:48
  with the YIYI order. You got to wind it up and clock
• 15:54
  them right now. Be careful.
• 15:56
  Call the police. Document everything you
• 16:01
  absolutely have to document. I did a wind up.
• 16:05
  You absolutely have to document everything that's going on.
• 16:08
  You have to visualize it and document it in order to, to
• 16:11
  protect yourself. You absolutely do.
• 16:14
  Documentation is necessary. Sometimes it's recording them,
• 16:17
  sometimes just writing things now.
• 16:19
  So sometimes that leads to get in a protective order like
• 16:22
  Nicosia said, like you, they leads to you happen to get a
• 16:26
  protective order or something like that.
• 16:28
  You rather have it and not need it than to need it and not have
• 16:32
  it. Documentation is absolutely
• 16:34
  important because you don't wish you wrote this stuff down.
• 16:35
  You're like, damn it, I should have wrote that down.
• 16:37
  Damn it. I should have recorded that.
• 16:39
  Damn it. Damn it, damn it.
• 16:41
  Right. And that's what ends up going on
• 16:43
  right there. How do I make him give me a
• 16:45
  document? Give me a divorce document.
• 16:47
  I see what they're doing. Like, sometimes you'd like, it's
• 16:49
  tough because sometimes they don't want to.
• 16:51
  They don't necessarily want to let you go.
• 16:53
  It really depends on the situation Right there, right?
• 16:55
  It really does. I started acting like him and he
• 16:59
  didn't like it. Yeah.
• 17:00
  If you start, if you, when you, when you feed a narcissist their
• 17:03
  own medicine, typically they spit it back up, right?
• 17:07
  Typically they spit it back up. Document paper, trail,
• 17:11
  protective order, video record, camera screenshots, everything.
• 17:14
  You can document it and put it in the place where if you still
• 17:17
  with them and you're not, if you're in the house with them,
• 17:19
  document everything and put it in a place where they cannot
• 17:23
  find it. They cannot find it, right?
• 17:29
  Because you don't want to get in.
• 17:31
  You don't want to have some great documentation, everything
• 17:33
  you need, videos, recordings, everything, voice notes,
• 17:35
  everything. And then guess what happens?
• 17:37
  They find it deleted. Throw it away, right?
• 17:41
  But also, before you video record somebody or phone record
• 17:43
  them, make sure that whatever state or country you're in, make
• 17:47
  sure to check out the laws, right?
• 17:48
  You don't want to record somebody to get in trouble like
• 17:52
  one party or two party states. Make sure you make sure you're
• 17:55
  in the one party consent state before you record somebody.
• 17:57
  Because you've been a two party. The recording don't help you
• 18:00
  out. It's just the recording is just
• 18:01
  for personal use only. You can't use it in court or
• 18:03
  anything like that. I have documentation on my
• 18:06
  phone. He keeps calling, I don't
• 18:07
  answer, then he starts texting me BS.
• 18:09
  Yep, keep ignoring. Like I said, you're taking the
• 18:11
  power away. I currently disagree with my
• 18:16
  covert narcissist on something insignificant and he went full
• 18:18
  tilt blame me for everything. Yep there I go.
• 18:20
  Something little. A small disagreement, a small, a
• 18:24
  small rock, a small Pebble can cause a can cause a huge crack
• 18:29
  in your windshield, right? A small Pebble can cause a huge
• 18:33
  crack in the windshield. So imagine the narcissist's ego
• 18:36
  is that windshield, right? Imagine the narcissist's ego is
• 18:41
  that windshield and whatnot. You know what I mean?
• 18:45
  This what ends up happening. This literally ends up happening
• 18:48
  so much and this is how it goes right here.
• 18:51
  So I would be very careful in this situation.
• 18:53
  Just watch it like that. You want to get yourself
• 18:57
  arrested, call the police. They will arrest you.
• 18:58
  Yeah, That's like you have to remain calm.
• 18:59
  If you were snapping and the police get there, they're going
• 19:02
  to look at you like you're the antagonist, right?
• 19:05
  They're going to look at you like you're the problem in the
• 19:07
  situation right here. So yeah, in conclusion, they
• 19:10
  might not ever leave you alone in their head, but you can make
• 19:12
  it so they never bother you. In real life, peace is a choice
• 19:16
  that you continuously have to make.
• 19:17
  And you've reaffirmed yourself with, right, Not a permission
• 19:20
  slip that they give you. You're not asking them to give
• 19:22
  you peace. Sometimes you have to take
• 19:24
  peace, sometimes pieces worth fighting for.
• 19:26
  Sometimes you have to go to court.
• 19:27
  Sometimes you have to get the asses locked up.
• 19:29
  Sometimes you have to take out child support or whatever the
• 19:30
  case may be. Sometimes you have to do it.
• 19:33
  You're going to ruin my life. You're going to ruin my.
• 19:35
  No, you're not ruining their life.
• 19:37
  They are ruining their own lives.
• 19:39
  They don't have to mess with you.
• 19:40
  They can choose to leave you alone.
• 19:42
  They're intentionally being antagonistic.
• 19:44
  They're intentionally messing with you and whatnot.
• 19:46
  They're intentionally doing so much stuff to you and all this
• 19:50
  other stuff. This is what they're doing.
• 19:52
  You know what I mean? So you have to prepare for
• 19:54
  yourself in this situation right here.
• 19:56
  It's just like being able to protect yourself, being able to
• 19:58
  go forward, being able to do what you need to do.
• 20:01
  Like they are not in charge of you.
• 20:03
  You are in charge. You absolutely are.
• 20:06
  You know what I mean? 100%, absolutely, 1000% you are
• 20:11
  in charge. Don't let them.
• 20:12
  Don't let them convince you otherwise that somehow, some
• 20:14
  way, shape or form that they are in charge.
• 20:16
  They absolutely the hell are not in charge.
• 20:19
  You are. You hold the power, you hold the
• 20:21
  key. They can't do anything.
• 20:24
  They absolutely cannot do anything to mess with you, and
• 20:27
  that's what ends up happening right there.
• 20:28
  Y'all So right now I got time for a few minutes for AQ and A,
• 20:31
  but then I have to hit the road, y'all, I have to hit the road.
• 20:37
  So drop your questions in the chat and I will be doing it.
• 20:41
  Purple Hearts. I miss him intimately.
• 20:46
  Yeah, you can miss him intimately, but don't don't go
• 20:49
  back to him intimately because he didn't make it harder to
• 20:51
  leave. Go watch my latest video on
• 20:53
  hysterical bonding and why you shouldn't sleep with your
• 20:55
  narcissistic ex, even if even if you I can't get it anywhere
• 20:59
  else. Discipline.
• 21:02
  Appreciate that, Phil, discipline is needed.
• 21:04
  Your life choice. Take your power back.
• 21:06
  Yeah. Will you be doing AQ and a with
• 21:08
  your partner? I'm, I'm not.
• 21:09
  So I haven't done AQ and a with my wife.
• 21:11
  My wife she's going to go live here pretty soon again here
• 21:13
  pretty soon on my channel because my she's going to do it
• 21:15
  on YouTube. So if you're on YouTube or
• 21:17
  whatever, make sure you hit the subscribe button.
• 21:19
  She's probably gonna live go live in the next couple weeks to
• 21:21
  answer do AQ and A and whatnot. Y'all, you're welcome you're
• 21:25
  welcome, you're welcome. I just did a video about NPD and
• 21:29
  BPDI literally just did a a detailed video about the
• 21:32
  difference between NPD and BPD is look I'm I'm gonna share the
• 21:37
  link right here in the comment section.
• 21:38
  I'm gonna share the link in the comment section the comments I'm
• 21:43
  gonna share the link to my my video about MPD and BPD.
• 21:47
  This is it right here. It looks like it's a YouTube
• 21:50
  link Go check that video out right now.
• 21:52
  St. DS ain't fun Hell no.
• 21:53
  I never since I met never met anybody just say hell yeah, STD,
• 21:56
  hell yeah, Woo woo. Mine's told me to go find
• 22:01
  someone to love for me. Joe, I seen I seen your comment,
• 22:04
  but you put the B word in this. I can't put it on the screen.
• 22:07
  It really just depends man like I don't know the whole situation
• 22:09
  in detail, but you really have to It really just depends on if
• 22:12
  it's your stuff. You might have to take it to
• 22:13
  court, right? If it's your stuff, you have to,
• 22:16
  you might have to take it to court.
• 22:17
  You might have to, you know, document everything that's
• 22:19
  missing or everything that she's took or whatever the case may
• 22:22
  be. And you might take it to court
• 22:24
  because what how does it benefit or make it seem like it benefits
• 22:27
  her? If you're still in contact with
• 22:28
  her, how does it benefit her to give you your stuff back?
• 22:32
  You know, is it staying out of jail?
• 22:34
  Is it doing that? Is it doing that?
• 22:35
  You mean, what are the main challenges you face during your
• 22:38
  healing? Just, you know, I don't know,
• 22:41
  Just like I don't know what the main challenges of me are
• 22:44
  anymore. Like, I'll just say consistency,
• 22:50
  just being consistent, what I ought to do, you know, the
• 22:53
  consistency and discipline. Mine says I'm the narcissist,
• 22:57
  but still wants me back. Yeah, that happens to what is
• 23:04
  trying. I might ask, what is
• 23:05
  triangulation? What is triangulation is when
• 23:08
  they put you, they put two or more people against each other
• 23:12
  by spreading rumors, by comparing and contrasting,
• 23:15
  trying to get people to compete. They might not even know each
• 23:17
  other, right? So I say just a ban of your
• 23:21
  stuff, my dude, is not worth it. It'll message your head knowing
• 23:23
  it. Yeah, sometimes you sometimes,
• 23:25
  like I say, sometimes you have to pay the tax, sometimes the
• 23:26
  taxes, you know, leaving the stuff behind.
• 23:28
  But I don't know the situation, right?
• 23:29
  So I don't know if this stuff is valuable.
• 23:31
  Could be some family heirlooms or something like that.
• 23:33
  I don't know what's in there right there, right.
• 23:36
  You know, I don't know the family, family heirlooms or what
• 23:39
  the situation is. The hard part is figuring out
• 23:41
  who you are as you heal. Yep.
• 23:44
  Who you, who you were at the beginning of the relationship
• 23:46
  and who you are as you heal will be two different people.
• 23:52
  Two different people. Are you proud of yourself?
• 23:55
  Yep. I'm super proud of myself.
• 23:56
  I've came along. I came along way.
• 23:57
  Your customers that you stole your customers.
• 24:00
  Yep. Been through that.
• 24:01
  Yeah. Do they even have feelings?
• 24:06
  Yes, they have feelings and they are very easy to hurt, which is
• 24:09
  why you get a lot of narcissistic rage and silent
• 24:11
  treatment and things like that. self-awareness is what saves
• 24:14
  you. Yeah, not just for narcissists.
• 24:15
  self-awareness on both sides works out for yourself the most.
• 24:18
  Why do they allow themselves to be recorded knowing how bad it
• 24:21
  would make them look? My ex would say I don't care
• 24:23
  what your legal rights is. I would manipulate the system
• 24:26
  all knowing I was videoing him. Yeah, sometimes right there,
• 24:28
  That's that's hubris. That's ego right there.
• 24:31
  You know, that's hubris. That's ego.
• 24:33
  I'm the best I'm going to be able to get out of this.
• 24:36
  That's hubris that that's ego talking.
• 24:38
  That's not real out. That's not reality.
• 24:39
  That's delusional thinking right there.
• 24:41
  I'm the most amazing. Good for you got legal custody.
• 24:45
  Your son walked away from A5 bedroom house and moved to
• 24:48
  another state. So now you got to dip out.
• 24:52
  Why do they Hoover? Really just depends.
• 24:55
  Sometimes they don't want you. It's ownership typically, right?
• 24:58
  It's only they think you belong to them, they think you belong
• 25:01
  to them and whatnot. She cleaned and when she cleaned
• 25:11
  after that, I couldn't find it. What happened before?
• 25:13
  She cleans and then the stuff goes missing.
• 25:14
  I don't know where it is. Oh, she took your papers?
• 25:17
  So again, it really just depends on how you go about doing it
• 25:21
  right there. But I found out she got three
• 25:23
  houses and makes like $1000 a day.
• 25:26
  It's not about the money. Oh, she's just, she's just
• 25:28
  stealing shit. So really just and you might
• 25:29
  have taken the court. If you, if you can prove that
• 25:31
  she got it, you might take it to court because it ask yourself
• 25:33
  the question, how does it benefit her to give you your
• 25:36
  stuff back anyway? Y'all I, I got to hit the road.
• 25:43
  I'll be going live again. I probably will be going live
• 25:45
  again Friday. I'll be live again Friday this
• 25:48
  week. Make sure, look, my courses are
• 25:50
  50% off 50% off courses when you enter the code Mothers or
• 25:56
  fathers at courses.mentalillness.net.
• 26:02
  Check out my courses. My courses go into great detail
• 26:05
  about narcissistic abuse, healing from it, and helping you
• 26:08
  understand what you went through.
• 26:09
  Y'all, it looks like this right here. 50% of the courses Mothers
• 26:13
  or fathers at courses.mentalillness.net.
• 26:15
  Y'all, I got to hit this road. I go to the store real quick and
• 26:18
  then I got to pick my son up. I appreciate all of y'all.
• 26:21
  Hit me up y'all. Peace who, Lord?