I Never Had An Off Switch With Alcohol....My First Drink Was A Blackout

Rise Above with Kevin Lanning · Oct 4, 2026 · 1h 56m

Elena Sanders grew up anxious, highly emotional, and feeling like she never quite fit in — a sensitive kid carrying far more than any child should. By the time she was a teenager, she'd found the one thing that finally quieted her mind: alcohol. She drank alone, blacked out from the very first time, and never had an "off switch." What started as escape spiraled through weed, psychedelics, pills, and eventually cocaine — the first line of which made her think, "I never want to feel any other way." Deep in Birmingham's rave scene, she was spending everything she had to stay high, calling out of…