Latest / He's Hot but Something's Off... / HHBSO 122: How to Hit On Me (Or Completely Piss Me Off)

Transcript

HHBSO 122: How to Hit On Me (Or Completely Piss Me Off) · He's Hot but Something's Off...

0:02
Hello, welcome to He's hot, but something's off all right.
0:09
If you're watching the video version of the podcast, which is
0:12
available on my YouTube channel, Just Joey T, you're in for a
0:16
little bit of a treat. I have my hair done today.
0:20
I know most of the time when I record a podcast, my hair is not
0:26
done. As in my hair will look like
0:30
whatever it is when I wake up. You know, I don't do my hair.
0:35
I don't put product in it and I don't make it look like
0:38
anything. It's that's literally the hair
0:40
that I woke up with. And with the headset, the
0:43
headphones that I use for podcasting, it kind of sort of
0:49
makes it look half decent on camera because it kind of it's
0:54
like headband and it kind of pulls down the weird puffiness
1:00
of my hair. My hair has a lot of natural
1:02
volume in it, which I've never liked.
1:04
But people always going on about volumizing the hair, especially
1:10
people with longer hair, a lot of times they want to do
1:14
something to add more volume. There's so much volumizing
1:18
shampoo and conditioners that I see on store shelves and
1:23
there's, they sell all these things to give your hair more
1:26
volume. And I'm one of those people.
1:28
I want less volume in my hair because my hair just becomes
1:31
poofy. When I had longer hair and I
1:35
grew my hair out during COVID, like end of 2020, early 2021, I
1:43
was growing out my hair and I used to have kind of long hair.
1:48
There are photos of me when I was, I don't know, 11/12/13,
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where I had the centre part hair, very Nick Carter from the
2:00
Backstreet Boys from that time era at the centre part hair.
2:05
I don't think I have that photo, but I, I remember just like a
2:10
specific photo that was taken of me when I was 10 or 11 and the
2:16
camera would just straight on to my face.
2:18
And I had this like centre part hair.
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And I had that for quite a few years.
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But early on in the pandemic, I did grow it out and I've never
2:27
grown my hair out that long before since I was since I was
2:32
like 11 or 12, since way back then.
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And I found out that, oh, it's actually kind of nice for my
2:36
hair to be that long because the extra hair weighs my hair down
2:42
and my hair isn't puffy anymore. So I've been kind of sort of
2:47
keeping a longer haircut for like the year or two in like
2:53
2022-2023, I kind of sort of kept it longer.
2:56
And then more recently I've gone a little bit shorter because
3:01
keeping it longer. Also, the lot more hair you
3:03
have, the more kind of maintenance you need to give it.
3:05
But I kind of enjoyed having that longer hair anyways, what I
3:09
wanted. One thing I wanted to talk about
3:11
today, I'm going to get on to some other topics possibly.
3:14
We'll see how long it runs. The government shutdown has to
3:18
be pissing me off. That's not the main topic we're
3:20
going to talk about today. If we have some time, I'll bitch
3:22
about that later. But anyways, I was at the gym,
3:28
as I do. And sometimes at the gym, you
3:36
know, when you are out and about somewhere and you can feel that
3:44
someone is checking you out, but they're checking you out in a
3:52
way that feels a little bit creepy.
3:55
Have you ever had that in public?
3:57
You're at the gym, the coffee shop, on the subway, walking
4:00
down the street, whatever it is. You know, sometimes I get the
4:05
feeling that, yes, someone is looking at me, that I don't know
4:08
who they are. And for whatever reason, it
4:12
feels a little, it feels a little creepy.
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They're not really doing anything.
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They're just looking. They're not staring, they're not
4:20
making any faces. They're just like stealing
4:22
glasses. And I do that too.
4:23
I check out guys all the time at my gym.
4:26
I can't describe it. I don't know what it is that
4:29
makes it feel like sometimes when certain people are, I think
4:34
they're checking me out. It it could be they're checking
4:37
me out or I have a booger on my face.
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I have no idea. I don't really doll myself up
4:42
for the gym and but sometimes you kind of can tell someone's
4:48
looking at you and it just feels a little creepy.
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And I don't talk to anyone at the gym.
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I mentioned this before, I don't talk to 1 at the gym.
4:56
And then there are other times where I feel like a piece of
5:02
meat when someone's looking at me.
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Have you ever been to a club or a bar?
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I think the way someone looks at you from across the dance floor,
5:14
that's where that's the situation and the setting where
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if someone looks at me like a piece of meat, I'm OK with that
5:22
because it's appropriate for that setting, if you will,
5:29
right? But in a more everyday scenario,
5:36
like at the gym or at coffee shop or Subway or whatever, I
5:40
don't know, it feels a little weird when someone's looking at
5:44
me like I'm a piece of meat. Do you guys understand when I
5:47
say someone looks at you like a piece of meat?
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Like someone is looking at me like they want to bend me over
5:55
purely for my body. It, it feels, it feels so weird
6:00
to say that, but that's not necessarily bad.
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I just feel like sometimes it's weird to get looks like that in
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broad daylight at a everyday place, like the gym.
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And then very rarely, very rarely, you can tell when
6:17
someone's looking at you as if they are generally wanting to
6:26
get to know you better. It's not like it's not creepy.
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They don't look at you just like a piece of meat.
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They look at you like, oh, they they seem like a nice person.
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It's not creepy. And they look at you as if they
6:40
actually want to talk to you and actually get to want to know
6:43
you. That's like the 1% for me.
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Don't think people look at me like that.
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I have RBFI know I can come off as standoffish.
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Just like when I'm doing my thing, especially at the gym,
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I'm just focusing on my exercises.
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I'm not there to look pretty and approachable for other people.
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So at the gym is for me, it's very like I'm going there to
7:06
work out. When I'm done working out, I
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leave. It's not a, it's not a place to
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build relationships for me. It's just like I'm there for the
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equipment. I'm it's nice to have eye candy
7:19
when I'm working out, but it's just eye candy.
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I am not there to make it look like I'm approachable and A and
7:27
a nice person. It's not about me.
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It's just, I'm, we're just working out.
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So the thing I wanted to talk about and thinking about all of
7:36
that, when I was at the gym, I was like, if I wanted someone to
7:39
hit on me, what would that look like?
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Because friends have told me, like, you don't really look
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approached or like, the first time I met you, you were like
7:49
standoffish. But there have been times where
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people have like come up and talk to me, which is not that
7:56
often, to be really honest. I sometimes have fans on the key
8:02
inside on the only fan side. Sometimes I said, sometimes we
8:05
kind of sort of talk around. They don't come up and say, they
8:07
don't message me and say, how do you like to be hit on?
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But you know, sometimes I from like the fans, from from only
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fans would be like, oh, I would love to meet you, blah, blah,
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blah. So I feel like people have
8:19
sometimes a certain preconceived notion of what I would be like
8:25
if they were to meet me in person for you know, for someone
8:30
who's never met me before, they all have a previous just for my
8:33
online presence. But I thought it would be fun to
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talk about if you were if if a person, if someone not you
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specific, but if a person were to approach me and try to hit on
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me, what will work and what would not work?
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Because for me, I'm always, so I'm curious because I'm never
8:57
usually the one to make a move. However, you know, if I were to
9:00
make a move on someone, I would have an idea of like how I would
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want that to that interaction to be like, even if they were not
9:12
interested in me at all. I've learned that there are good
9:18
and bad ways to reject someone and let someone down what they
9:22
hit on you. But.
9:25
I, I think in the ideal world, like if someone were to approach
9:29
me to try to like hit on me, OK, they found me attractive in some
9:34
way, shape or form, and they want to like approach me, to
9:37
like hit on me, what would that interaction look like and how
9:42
can someone successfully hit on me?
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But then also on the flip side, how can someone try to hit on me
9:48
and just completely turn me off? I thought it'd be an interesting
9:52
exercise. So OK, I think the way I would,
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I think what would work, one thing that would work is just to
10:04
say like hi. You can just say hi, but have
10:09
something have some sort of like small talk that is befitting the
10:16
moment to don't just say hi and be like hi, I'm so and so and
10:21
they're like, that's that's the whole thing.
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You need to have a little bit more.
10:24
However, don't crack jokes. I I think jokes are a little bit
10:29
of a risk. And if we don't have the same
10:33
kind of humor, I'm just going to look at you be like, I don't
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have no idea what this you're just saying and to just like
10:39
blurt out a joke right off the bat, even before that's the very
10:43
first thing you say. I feel like for me, I'm not even
10:46
going to hear what you're saying in a gym.
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Let's take the gym situation. In a gym situation.
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I think if you were to talk to me, your initial thing is, is
10:59
something about working out or gym equipment.
11:02
It's like you want me to spot you or you're asking me, oh, am
11:05
I still using? How many more reps do I have?
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How many sets do I have? Am I still using those
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dumbbells? I think if you make it more like
11:13
that, because that's like a those, the very natural things
11:17
to say to someone else. That's a very common and
11:20
expected thing to interrupt someone at the gym for.
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I just had someone, people don't usually talk to me at the gym
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and it's no surprise, but I just randomly had someone a few weeks
11:33
ago ask me to spot them and that was completely fine.
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They weren't trying to hit on me.
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They just literally wanted someone to spot them and that
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was fine. And you know, like, obviously
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there's there's there's just like the barest bit of like
11:44
small talk from that, which was which was actually good.
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So I think if you were in the gym situation and you wanted to
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talk to me for whatever reason, I think the best way to do that
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has to be some sort of workout related thing.
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Like you want me to spot you on exercise?
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I'm on a piece of equipment that you want to use.
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So you're asking me hiding more sets, do I have it?
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It has, I think that's where you can start.
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If you just come up and say hi and there's nothing else that
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you're going to say, that's very awkward.
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Feel like when you hit on somebody has to fit the
12:25
situation like the first thing that you say so you can say hi,
12:29
are you using this equivalent or like how many more sets you
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have, blah, blah. And then from there you can try
12:36
to like extend the conversation. I do think a lot of people like
12:40
to crack jokes right off the bat.
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I again, I just feel like it's so 5050.
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If I don't get the joke, I'm just, it's just going to be
12:47
super awkward. I'm just going to be standing
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there. You know what, I'm probably just
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going to fake laugh if I, I need to detect that it's a joke 1st.
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And the number of times that someone has tried to make small
12:59
talk with, with me and then early on they try to make some
13:03
joke that I don't get. It's like the majority of the
13:06
time it's, I don't know if it's them or me, but it's, it's just,
13:10
I think with me, it's not worth making a joke.
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I think it's better for you to just, yeah, something
13:16
situational. And then you can say hi and then
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you can extend a conversation in the sense that if you go to that
13:25
gym all the time and you've seen me there tons of times, it's
13:28
like you can say someone like, Oh yeah, I see you.
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I see you all the time at the gym, you know, Do you come
13:35
everyday? I think you can kind of I think
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that would work for me. That would be fine to make small
13:42
talk like that now on my end, regardless if I am interested in
13:48
you back. But that's the other thing.
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When you hit on someone, are they interested in you?
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Are they is it reciprocal? Are the feelings somewhat
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mutual? Is there some level of traction
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that goes both ways? I think either way, unless you,
14:04
you generally, if someone does that to me, I'll, I'll carry on
14:09
the small talk and the fact that someone would go up to someone
14:14
else and try to hit on them. I feel like that takes so much
14:17
bravery that if I'm the receiving person of that, I at
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least want to, I don't want to shut them down.
14:25
I want to be at least like nice and courteous.
14:27
I don't want to be like just don't talk to me or or like give
14:30
them a cold shoulder because I feel like it's kind of rude.
14:33
We can try to volley, but I think as you're do making a
14:37
small talk with me, how you can tell if I'm interested is
14:42
eventually I would just say oh, oh, oh, have a good workout to
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like end the conversation if I don't want to continue.
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For me, it's very like black and white for most people that I
14:55
meet. I think within the 1st 5 or 10
14:59
seconds of our interaction, I'll know whether I want to keep
15:04
interacting with you or not. It's I don't, I don't have like
15:08
a Gray area. It's like, OK, I want to keep
15:10
interacting with you or I don't. But if I keep interacting with
15:14
you, it doesn't mean that I, I want to like go on a date with
15:16
you. It might just mean that, oh,
15:18
what, we can be friends, we can have some sort of relationship.
15:22
Even though it might not, it might not be romantic or sexual.
15:26
It's nice, I think in theory at least, to have people you know
15:30
at the gym and you can chit chat or whatever.
15:32
I think that's fine. But a?
15:35
Lot of the times I will put the kibosh on it fairly quickly.
15:40
You try to hit on me, you make small talk, that's fine.
15:43
I'm I'm receptive to that. But.
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After the five. Or 10 seconds when I know
15:48
whether I want anything to do with you.
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If I don't, I will say something like, oh, have a good workout or
15:54
have a nice day or something like that to like nicely.
15:56
But. Quite clearly.
16:00
Indicate to you there's, there's, this is it, This is the
16:05
end. There's nothing more.
16:08
There's no more. This is it.
16:13
So I think that's pretty clear, but I don't want to.
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I want to send clear signals without telling you no to the
16:22
face. And the clearest way I can do
16:26
that is if you're just making small talk and you're not trying
16:29
to explicitly ask me out, I will just find like a really nice way
16:34
to say goodbye to you. If you.
16:38
If you are, if you keep trying to make conversation with me and
16:40
I don't want to do that now, on the on the flip side, if I am
16:45
interested, then I won't do that, then I'll like ask you
16:48
questions as well. You know, if that's just very
16:50
common, like small talk convention etiquette is if both
16:55
sides are asking each other questions and the answers are
16:59
not short. That's how you know the other
17:02
person's interested. Even if it's not someone you're
17:04
hitting on. It could be some sort of
17:06
networking event. That's like a a work industry
17:08
networking event. You're networking with other
17:10
people. The way you can tell when
17:12
someone else is interested in interacting with you and
17:16
continuing to do that is if there's actual conversation.
17:22
Read the Room. Honestly, if you're trying to
17:25
make small talk with someone and the answers are short, that
17:27
means they don't want to talk to you.
17:29
I think for. Some people, that's too subtle.
17:32
But I just want to throw. It out there if you are ever
17:36
trying to make small talk with someone and their answers are
17:39
short. That.
17:41
Means it's kept your losses. They don't want to talk to you.
17:46
Doesn't mean you are the problem.
17:49
Sometimes people are like not in a good mood.
17:51
Sometimes the people don't want to be hit on.
17:53
Sometimes people just. Don't want to be hit on.
17:55
It's not because they don't find you.
17:57
Well, they they're probably not attracted to you otherwise they
17:59
keep behind you. But you know, when I'm working
18:01
out, a lot of the times I don't really want to be bothered.
18:04
Like I'm there to work out again, I'm not there to
18:07
socialize. I'm not there to be hit on.
18:09
You know, a lot of straight girls, sometimes they prefer to
18:12
go to a gay club because they don't want there to be guys
18:17
hitting on them. You know, like sometimes girls
18:20
want to go out and they just want to like drink, dance the
18:24
music, just have a dance floor and just like do that.
18:28
If they go to if, if girls go to a straight club, a stereotypical
18:31
straight club, guys are competing on them.
18:33
And sometimes you don't want that.
18:35
So I I totally, 100% get it. Sometimes for whatever reason,
18:41
you just don't want to be hit on.
18:44
Yeah. So I, I think that's the only
18:46
way it could really work with me.
18:48
You know, what's the maybe better thing for the not
18:50
everyone can go up to someone and just start talking.
18:53
Like I said, that takes a lot of bravery.
18:55
If you message me on I'm suggesting this but I'm laughing
19:00
because the chances of this working is so slim for me but I
19:06
I don't know what. If you.
19:07
Message me on Grinder. I will.
19:10
Reply if I'm interested. However I say that, but the
19:19
statistic is that out of 100 messages or 100 people that
19:25
might message me on Grinder. 1. Percent of the time, like one in
19:30
those hundred, I will reply. It's 99% of the time it's
19:33
someone I look at the profile, I'm not interested in them.
19:36
I just delete the message. I just don't reply.
19:39
However, if you would like to have like a low low investment,
19:45
low cost way to hit on me and you happen to see me on grinder
19:49
yeah do that. But I.
19:53
Just don't have. The I don't value Grinder enough
19:58
to send nice rejection messages to everyone that I'm not
20:01
interested in on grinder. Like I do not take Grinder
20:04
seriously. I just delete the.
20:06
Messages to keep my inbox lean. There are some guys that have
20:10
messaged me on Grinder. Where?
20:13
I'm looking at the. Profiles.
20:14
The Grinder profile is not that informative.
20:18
A lot of Grinder profiles are kind of barren, but there are
20:21
like a few guys where I don't delete their messages, but like
20:24
I just kind of sort of keep them in the inbox.
20:27
For months at a. Time.
20:28
I don't really kind of messaging them, but it's just like I'm
20:31
like, I could maybe be interested but I'm like probably
20:34
too lazy to hear anything about it.
20:36
So you can message me on Grinder and that's OK.
20:39
If I'm interested, I will reply on Grinder.
20:41
However, don't expect me to hook up with you.
20:46
That's the next thing if you ever hit on me.
20:49
To try to hook. Up with me.
20:51
Just don't, I think even in like a circuit party, nightclub,
20:56
whatever situation, that's where I pointed out.
20:58
That's the situation where, you know, guys who look at each
21:02
other like pieces of meat and that's OK.
21:04
And like, I do that too. And sometimes people talk to me
21:06
like but doesn't mean I want to have sex.
21:10
I. So rarely would just want to
21:13
hook up with someone these days anyways you know years gone by
21:16
might be a different situation. But if if you message me just
21:20
don't want to hook up with me, don't because I don't the.
21:25
Chances that I. Want to hook up with you?
21:28
Like also stop. Sending me Dick pics please stop
21:32
sending me Dick pics I don't every almost every Dick looks
21:37
the same to me like the there's no the number of times.
21:40
Where I get a message. On grinder is no hi, no text no
21:47
nothing is just literally a Dick pic.
21:50
It's just blocked because I What's so special about your
21:54
Dick? Nothing.
21:56
I don't even know. What your face looks like trash
21:58
like gone out of my inbox, out of off of my phone.
22:02
It's completely useless. I if I wanted to hook up with
22:06
someone they still need to come complete and popper on grinder.
22:11
Even if it's just grinder. If you want to hit on me it's
22:14
like you better have a face pick a body pick.
22:17
I don't really need to see your Dick.
22:19
I'm not really interested in Dick pics personally, but you
22:23
still need to like be somewhat. Polite and.
22:28
Courteous, you know, you don't need to write me a paragraph and
22:32
be like, good afternoon, Sir. How you do is you don't need to
22:35
be like formal, but you can't just send a Dick pic and not
22:39
even say hi and expect any sort of response from me.
22:42
That is that has never worked for the however many years I've
22:46
had grinder, which is like, I guess since it came out that has
22:49
never worked. So like, just don't even try.
22:53
But if you want to. Like yeah, but I I think grinder
22:56
is OK. If I'm interested I will reply,
22:59
but I think the the. Odds of.
23:02
Me being interested in someone that messaged me on grinder
23:06
historically has been extremely low so but it's fine.
23:12
However, don't message me on like don't message me on
23:15
Instagram and expect me to reply back or like my Twitter.
23:21
So my Twitter is just for Kian. My Twitter is just for like only
23:24
fans. People like fans that follow me.
23:27
They do try to message me there and like their fans like that's
23:30
fine. But like I don't reply back
23:32
because. For me.
23:35
For Kian, For Kian specifically, chatting with Kian is a paid
23:41
service. OK?
23:43
You need to be subscribed with money to chat with Kian and part
23:50
of it is because Kian is a business.
23:54
That's one. Reason the other part of it is.
23:58
I can't and don't. Want to spend time and effort?
24:05
Talking to. People.
24:09
When it's not. Even a conversation, because I
24:12
just know that the people just randomly message they're, they
24:15
follow my Twitter and that's fine.
24:17
That's great. It's out there for people to be
24:18
followed. Awesome.
24:20
But the people that they don't even have anything super
24:22
interesting to say. That, that, that's.
24:25
The thing someone tried to like. Someone replied to an Instagram
24:30
story of mine with like a, like a nice message and, and I'm not
24:39
going to go into this, but I, I did reply just because of like
24:42
the type of a post in the circumstance and like the, the
24:44
reply that they had, but then very quickly evolved into like,
24:48
I would like to meet you. And I'm like, OK, this is not
24:51
what this post is about. And then they send, they send a
24:53
photo of themselves. I'm like this is.
24:56
Not I I see what you're doing, but like I'm never going to do.
25:03
That you can't start a conversation with me in response
25:06
to like a post and they completely turn around to an
25:08
attempt to try to meet me in person, but I I'm never going to
25:10
do that. I'm never going to like you're,
25:15
you're kind of sort of twisting the conversation basically.
25:18
So that didn't work. If there's honestly, there's so
25:23
many ways to turn me off. If you smoke, don't try if like
25:30
niceness. Just if you.
25:32
Just be yourself and just be kind of like do your thing and
25:37
just be chill and don't try to look at me like I'm a piece of
25:42
meat. When you approach me.
25:44
I think you'll do OK because even if I don't want to like go
25:49
on a date with you, it's I can still have a conversation.
25:53
I might shut it. Down just be like, you know,
25:55
have a have a nice day or have a good workout like whatever it
25:57
is. But for me I.
25:59
Just know some people might call that a a standoffish, but like,
26:03
I don't want to beat around the Bush because it's for me.
26:06
It's so annoying. I don't want to.
26:11
This sounds super. Harsh rejection is part of life
26:17
and if I'm hitting on someone and they're not interested in me
26:20
personally, I just want to know about it.
26:23
There's. There are nice ways to reject
26:25
someone, like I said, and over the years I've learned that so
26:30
and and I've learned it by being rejected myself.
26:34
I tell, I tell you guys something.
26:36
At a place I had I lived before, some person in that building
26:41
had, I think we had somehow I met one of my neighbors in the
26:46
building because of like there's like some building related
26:49
thing. And we just texted.
26:52
It was just purely texting about some building thing.
26:56
That's it. And it was like very short.
26:59
And then at some point at the end of that, what really should
27:04
be like a one time conversation. At the end they asked if I would
27:08
like to go to lunch with them. And for me it was like, OK, this
27:14
is clearly not a building thing. Like even if this was someone
27:17
who is like very neighborly, like, you don't randomly not,
27:22
not not in San Francisco. Or not in.
27:26
One of not in like a major city in a, in a, in like a rental
27:29
building where you randomly like be talking about some building
27:32
thing and it's suddenly you're like, you want to go have lunch?
27:34
It's like, that's just hitting on me And like, that's fine.
27:38
I, I respect and appreciate the effort and putting yourself out
27:42
there. And this is where.
27:46
I had. To let them down and just just
27:48
basically be clear about I'm not interested without being mean or
27:54
rude about it. So my standard reply for
27:59
something like that. Is.
28:02
I don't think we're compatible and that's that's that was the
28:06
way I was rejected once and when this is like years and years ago
28:13
when I was younger, I guess I miss I sent a message to someone
28:16
on grinder and then they said I don't think we're compatible
28:19
something to that extent. You know.
28:22
The. My.
28:24
Initial thought when I saw that message sent to me when I was
28:27
hitting someone, I was like wow, that's a great way to reject
28:30
someone. And I've used it.
28:32
I've put it into my arsenal of canned responses.
28:38
But I need to reject someone that's one of the ones I go to
28:42
if it's like appropriate for the situation is I don't think we're
28:45
compatible. And.
28:48
I think it's clear enough that without having to literally say
28:52
no, which is which can be which could come off as fruit
28:56
depending on the situation, but. It sends.
28:59
A very clear message that you are declining the.
29:06
Come on. And so I said that and the
29:11
person replied with a thumbs up, which was actually good, which
29:13
is great. Like they acknowledged the
29:14
message. They acknowledged that, hey, I
29:16
said we're we're not compatible. Feel free to use that by the way
29:19
and if you have any. Canned.
29:22
Responses of your own of how to nicely but clearly let someone
29:29
down or reject someone. Put them down in the YouTube
29:32
comments for the video. I would love to hear from you
29:35
because everyone's been hit on at some point in their lives and
29:38
everyone has tried to hit on someone.
29:41
You know, 99% of the time when one person hits on someone else.
29:45
The person's not. Interested if you're one of
29:48
those people where you have a better than like, I don't know,
29:55
a. A.
29:55
One in 10 chance, like if you have better than a 10% chance
30:02
that when you hit on someone they are some level of
30:06
interested and want to like continue it on.
30:09
Can you tell me what your secret is?
30:11
But I, I. Feel like.
30:14
I just assume. For most people, 99% of the time
30:18
when you hit on someone 90 something 9596 ninety 8% of the
30:24
time you hit on someone they're probably not interested.
30:28
But however I never I so rarely hit on someone or like go talk
30:33
to someone to hit on them that I.
30:35
Don't. Personally have hard data to do
30:38
it but I feel like the vast majority of the time you know if
30:42
if you hit on someone and most of the time they're interested,
30:45
you must be you must be phenomenal.
30:49
You must be, you must look super hot and is super cute and are
30:54
super put together. You must be like extremely
30:57
charming. I don't know.
30:58
It's it is what it is. Anyways, Yeah.
31:01
But if you have any, yeah, like lines that you pull out of your
31:06
pocket that you can use to like nicely but clearly reject
31:11
someone, I would love to hear them so you can put them down
31:13
into the YouTube comments. But that not like we're not
31:16
compatible has worked for me a couple times.
31:18
I was recently recalling some story of like someone hitting on
31:21
me and I was talking to a friend, close fan, and I was
31:25
just telling this little story and I said, oh, I told them
31:29
we're not compatible. And my friend was like, oh,
31:31
that's a that's a great line. So I'm kind of sort of spreading
31:35
the word a little bit. Yeah, we're not we're not
31:36
compatible. I think there are some other
31:38
similar ish things. I have been, I've gone into
31:46
messy conversations before when I wasn't clear enough in my
31:52
rejection. Because if you are like wishy
31:55
washy and you're not clearly communicating that this is not
31:59
going to work. Sometimes the other person who's
32:01
probably the person hitting on you, they will push further and
32:05
more and more. I'm at the.
32:08
Point in my life now where if your feelings are a little hurt.
32:14
You. Know what like.
32:16
Grow up and grow up here. You know, like if I say
32:20
something like we're not compatible and you're hurt by
32:22
that, that's really not my problem.
32:26
You know, it's like I, I if I said no, like literally enno to
32:28
your face, that's different because that's, that's very
32:31
short and rude. And I would not say unless
32:34
someone was literally like harassing me.
32:38
Very few. Like very rarely have I had to
32:42
kind of be very like be more aggressive with my rejection.
32:47
Usually those are the times where it's a party or like a
32:50
club situation and the other person is like drunk or have
32:54
been drinking quite a bit. And when they're in that state,
32:59
they are not processing the rejection properly.
33:05
I don't know about. Want to say alcohol is like a
33:08
good excuse for stuff? I think that's a whole other
33:10
kind of worms, but if I have to tell someone like.
33:15
There's only been like a. Couple of times in my life where
33:18
I had to like. Well, maybe.
33:20
More than a couple of times. Where I had.
33:22
To basically tell the person literally no, like an oath to
33:26
their face, But that's only because they like, they try to
33:31
like reach for my junk at a party or something by Oh my God,
33:38
that's another way to like really turn me off.
33:41
If at a, at a, at a, at a festival or a party or a club or
33:47
whatever, some that type of a setting where once in a while
33:51
someone would just like grab my junk just like, I don't know
33:54
where like sometimes they're just doing like a drive.
33:56
They're just walking and grabbing junk for me.
33:58
That is, that's harassment. For one, that is harassment.
34:04
If you want to hit on someone on the dance floor, like, you know,
34:08
like, try to say hi. Or you.
34:11
You can't just like for me, you can't just go reach for my junk,
34:15
but I get immediately angry. Like literally that split second
34:19
that you try to grab my junk out of nowhere immediately I I go to
34:22
100. I was at.
34:24
EDC last year and it happened like a couple of times and I
34:29
think the times that I happened, I basically like swung my hand
34:33
and just like I use my forearm to like hit their forearm to
34:37
like I, I literally in half a millisecond.
34:41
I, I got angry that they were trying to grab my private parts
34:46
and I wanted to like, I got so angry that I just wanted to hit
34:49
their hand away from my body to make it very clear, like you do
34:54
this again, I will break your F and neck and then and I won't
34:59
stop there. Like I, you are dead.
35:01
So for me. That's like no, no, no, no, no,
35:04
no, please don't do that. Please don't randomly grab
35:08
people's or touch people's private parts for someone you
35:11
don't know that you haven't even talked to.
35:14
Even if it's like a circuit party situation, a gay club,
35:17
whatever. Like, that's not that's that's
35:20
not appropriate. For me.
35:24
I don't have any friends that would think that's appropriate,
35:26
but it's whenever I tell. Sometimes you are real close
35:28
friends, sometimes you tell stories and stuff.
35:30
None of my close friends think that's appropriate.
35:33
So you and you definitely cannot assume that's appropriate for
35:36
someone that you know that you would.
35:38
Absolutely. Do not know.
35:40
You just can't do that. Those are the times where like
35:42
I, I go to serial 100 and I won't apologize.
35:46
Have I ever? I've never had to punch someone.
35:51
I've. Never had to punch someone but
35:53
if you if you grab my junk at a party just randomly I will be
35:58
angry enough to maybe to maybe deck you out because I would.
36:02
I would. I'm just angry thinking about
36:05
it. That would get me so angry.
36:07
OK. So those are the those are the
36:09
ways to like hit on me or not anyway.
36:11
So let's just. Recap if you want to hit.
36:14
On like, by the way, if you're if you're a fan of mine and I
36:18
and I love my fans. I really do, you know, like I've
36:22
got so many Twitter followers and that has contributed to
36:26
Kian's success. And, you know, I, I can't thank
36:31
every one of them individually, but you know what?
36:34
It the combined. The.
36:37
Combined effort of all these people that like they, they,
36:41
they subscribe to me, they follow and they, they like my
36:45
post and they retreat my things, you know, like that, that really
36:48
has an effect, you know, like one person do it and another
36:51
person and another person. Like, that's kind of how it is.
36:53
And like I'm very appreciative of the following that I have as
36:57
a whole. But I just have to let you know
37:02
if you want to meet Kean in person as a fan, I don't, I
37:06
don't do that. My subscribers like my paid
37:08
subscribers. I will talk to them on DM all
37:11
day and all night as as long as it's like appropriate.
37:15
You know, it's very popular in like the only fans creator.
37:19
When you Skype to someone's only fans, someone that does
37:22
pornographic content, adult content, it's very popular to.
37:30
DM with. Your creators and talk dirty,
37:33
talk dirty stuff. I don't know.
37:36
This is going on to the platform, so I have to watch the
37:39
wording that I use, but you know what I mean?
37:41
And lots of creators do that and that's fine.
37:44
I I it's not that I think it's inappropriate.
37:49
I'm just not. Good at it so I don't do it.
37:51
Sometimes people DM me like my only fan subscribers, they'll DM
37:55
me sometimes and they'll they'll want to like I can tell they
37:58
want to like talk dirty or whatever.
38:00
It's like I, I. Don't know how to do that and
38:03
I'm horrible at it to the point where.
38:05
I I'm thinking about just putting it somewhere out there
38:10
that for potential subscribers, I have a one pager of like, OK,
38:16
if you, if you subscribe, this is what's in my subscription.
38:19
But before you subscribe something you want to know what
38:20
you're getting. And I have this like whole 1
38:23
pager, that's all this information.
38:25
I think I put it on there's like I, I, I don't do that.
38:28
I won't do dirty talk you can talk to.
38:30
Me as like a person and like I'll I'll talk to you about my
38:35
day. You can talk to me about your
38:36
day. You can ask questions and stuff,
38:37
but like, it can't be like The Dirty talk, like I'm not going
38:41
to any role play. It can't be any sort of like
38:43
sexual type of like Adm. I know like 90% of only fan
38:49
creators do that. And that's part of the reason
38:52
people subscribe. I I.
38:54
I just don't. I'm horrible at it.
38:56
And I. Don't enjoy doing it, so I don't
38:58
do it. All right, so.
39:02
In summary, you you can hit on me in person, but I mean just
39:08
just you can make just do. You can just do small talk.
39:10
Don't try to crack jokes. Just be yourself, Just be chill
39:15
and you know, make make sure that whatever you say is
39:19
appropriate to like the moment and the setting.
39:22
Don't send me Dick pics and I don't grab my don't don't touch
39:27
me, don't touch me unannounced like that.
39:30
That, that that's your, that's a quick thing to turn me off.
39:33
If you smoke, it's it's never going to work and not, not well,
39:37
I mean, if you smoke, I can still be friends with you and
39:40
acquaintance and that's fine. You know, like, you know, just
39:43
because you talk to a stranger doesn't mean that it has to go a
39:48
romantic way. I'd love to make more friends.
39:50
And you know, that's how on the cruises I have made so many of
39:53
my friends from like going to cruises and parties, not because
39:56
they were hitting on me or I was hitting on them.
39:57
It's because like sometimes you can be partying and if there's
40:00
like other people around you meet them.
40:02
You know, they were strangers before.
40:03
Like doesn't mean you have to, everyone you talk to has to be
40:06
in in a romantic way. So a lot of my friends that I've
40:10
met is through travelling, going to parties and events.
40:14
And it's not because. Our initial.
40:16
Contact was one of us hitting on the other.
40:18
It was just like just interacting.
40:21
That's all. All right.
40:24
Let me know if you. Like if if that was like
40:27
entertaining for you. I just want to throw one more
40:31
thing to end this podcast just to get it off my chest.
40:36
And usually I don't talk politics.
40:38
But the shutdown? Has gone on for so long and it's
40:44
obviously not the first shutdown that we've had.
40:47
I just don't. By the way, this a rhetorical
40:51
question. I just don't understand why the
40:56
elected officials cannot get it together to serve what I believe
41:01
is one of their basic duties, which is to like run the, run
41:08
the government, fund the government.
41:12
It's so it, it, it's so annoying.
41:14
I know there's talk about the Republicans want this and they
41:18
want leverage and the the same on the on both sides.
41:21
They both are wanting things and they're they're both sides.
41:25
I feel like in some way, shape or form, at some level is
41:29
holding the country hostage. For me it's.
41:33
Very you know what? We should not have been in this
41:36
situation at all to begin with. But now that we're so deep into
41:41
it. I feel.
41:43
Like. This sounds.
41:45
Horrible. But if you're.
41:48
Going to you've inflicted all this pain on the country and the
41:52
American people, especially the people that are like forced to
41:55
work and not getting paid and the people are getting
41:56
furloughed and some people are getting fired now.
41:59
That can't all. Be for nothing.
42:02
Sometimes in a. Situation like this I'm very
42:04
much for like OK, either like you should have done everything
42:08
in your power to have avoided this but if you if if this is
42:12
the position that you're taking if you have already kind of you
42:18
put your chips down and this is the gamble you're taking like
42:22
don't don't chicken out now because you've basically
42:26
inflicted all this pain we've been in this the second longest
42:29
shutdown that we have you've inflicted all this pain to now
42:32
chicken out you kind of. 'Cause all this.
42:36
Pain for no gain. Right, it's.
42:39
For me, it's like, you know what, the chips are down now you
42:42
have to ride it out because if you don't, it's like the worst
42:45
of both worlds. Like we've had this like long
42:48
shutdown. There's been like pain infected
42:51
on so many Americans and you didn't get anything for it.
42:56
That's for me. That's horrible.
42:58
I know that's that's not going to be the most popular point of
43:02
view, but I'm looking at it like.
43:06
You can probably. Tell him I, I, I voted Democrat,
43:08
but you know, I just got my estimate for my Obamacare
43:12
because I'm on Obamacare and actually saw a couple of friends
43:16
post their letters that they got from Obamacare.
43:19
So in California, we have Covered California and that's
43:21
the marketplace for our state. And everyone in like the last
43:27
week, they all just got letters because we now know what the new
43:32
premiums are and we stay on our current plan.
43:34
So someone, just one of my friends just posted like I think
43:38
his was going to like go up by like 2 or 300 bucks.
43:41
It was going to almost double. Mine's going up by like 100
43:45
bucks. So for me, it wasn't like the
43:47
worst increase, but depending on your situation, it's like the
43:51
amount that some people will now have to pay.
43:53
It's kind of crazy just for basic healthcare.
43:58
So there's no perfect solution otherwise.
44:01
You know, we want to be in this situation.
44:03
But I'm of the it's just purely my opinion.
44:06
I have the opinion now. It's like, OK, Democrats, you
44:08
have, you have put down you, you put down your chips to say you
44:14
want the subsidies back for Obamacare.
44:17
You want them to be part of the Whatever deal for the funding of
44:21
the government. Don't back out.
44:25
Now, because if you just back out, it's kind of like, it's
44:28
like the worst of both worlds, you know?
44:31
I I. Don't.
44:33
I can see why on the Republican side, not that I'm anyways.
44:38
I can see why objectively on the Republican side, they don't want
44:42
to, You know, you never want to succumb to the other side's
44:46
demands, right? You're when two sides negotiate,
44:49
they need to find some sort of compromise.
44:51
And it's not. You never want to get the short
44:55
end of the stick. Doesn't matter if it's.
44:58
In politics or just in other areas in life, when you're
45:01
negotiating to find a mutual agreement, a mutual compromise,
45:05
it's always like, no one wants to get a short end of the stick.
45:07
Everyone is so scared about like, oh, I don't want to get
45:09
shafted. I don't want to get the worst
45:11
part of the deal. I don't want to get the smallest
45:13
slice of the pie. You know, that's very natural.
45:15
Like I get it, but for me? I I can only.
45:19
Comment on like I think what the Democrats are trying to trying
45:23
to achieve, which is like, because if for for me, it
45:26
affects me in a very real way. Like I got the letter and it's
45:28
like, OK, I have to pay so much more money for my healthcare
45:33
next year. And it's like if the Democrats
45:37
were to try to use this as leverage for the without getting
45:41
into whether that's the right thing or not.
45:43
They're already in it. There's so it's it's it's the
45:45
chips down is already done. This is what they're saying they
45:50
they need and in negotiations, I feel like I just hope they take
45:55
it all the way now. I think a lot of people will not
45:58
see it that way. A lot of people think like that
46:01
is the wrong thing to. Put your leverage.
46:06
On but they've already done it. So I feel like they with all
46:11
this, all the shit going on, all this pain that's being
46:14
inflicted, you better give me some.
46:16
You better give me the cheaper healthcare because like other
46:20
this whole long ass government shutdown would be for naughty
46:25
like something something good has to come from.
46:28
This. Mess.
46:30
Is what I. I think it's like my ultimate.
46:34
I don't want to say. Hope or wish because it seems
46:36
like such a hopeless situation. I just hope that the if
46:42
something were to to come out of it, I just hope that.
46:47
It benefits. The American people in some way,
46:50
shape or form, Like, I don't want us to have gone through
46:54
this whole effing mess for things to not be better for at
46:59
least some Americans. Like yeah, I'm just so worked up
47:04
about it. I have to.
47:06
Like be careful not to follow it too closely, but also like I
47:09
feel like I need to follow it at least like a little bit because
47:13
it does have an effect on like. But I still find it ridiculous
47:17
that the country is held hostage over stuff like this.
47:21
But every time you have a shutdown, which unfortunately is
47:24
too common, I think, in my opinion.
47:28
OK, well, my therapist would want me to calm down probably.
47:32
At this moment, my therapist should probably prescribe me
47:36
some Xanax. But anyways, thank you for
47:38
listening to another episode of the of the podcast.
47:46
Yeah. So hit on me.
47:48
Just don't be weird, Don't touch my junk.
47:50
And I hope the shutdown ends pretty soon.
47:53
Maybe by the next time I record something good would have came
47:58
out of the shutdown, the shutdown will be over. 1 can
48:00
hope, right? Hope.
48:01
It's not a strategy, but. Well, I guess that wasn't.
48:06
Useful to say that, is it? All right, until next time, bye
48:09
y'all.