Latest / Mediumship Sparks-The Next Chapter / Listening to the Energy Instead of Fighting It

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Listening to the Energy Instead of Fighting It · Mediumship Sparks-The Next Chapter

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  Speaker 1: If I can have any distance at all from this energy,
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  Speaker 1: instead of being swallowed up by it or feeling immersed
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  Speaker 1: in it, I can take a step or two back
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  Speaker 1: and look at it like it's an energy. And what
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  Speaker 1: can I learn or glean from this energy? Welcome to
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  Speaker 1: Mediumship Sparks, a place for people who want to create
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  Speaker 1: the spiritual life they actually want to live in. Together,
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  Speaker 1: we're going to explore the many ways we're invited into
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  Speaker 1: greater awareness, deeper healing, and self-trust. The insights, ideas, experiences
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  Speaker 1: shared here are offered to spark curiosity and invite a
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  Speaker 1: deeper exploration of what's unfolding within and around you. May
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  Speaker 1: these conversations help you discover what feels deeply, quietly true
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  Speaker 1: for you. I'm Noelle Dean, intuitive medium and licensed marriage
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  Speaker 1: and family therapist. Quick note before we begin, the podcast
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  Speaker 1: is for educational purposes only and provides general information. It's
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  Speaker 1: not medical or psychological advice and not a substitute for
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  Speaker 1: care from a licensed health professional. Now let's dive in.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: I don't usually record episodes about how I'm feeling when
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  Speaker 1: I am not at a point of resolution or having
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  Speaker 1: figured something out, but I'm feeling so damn stuck right
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  Speaker 1: now that I thought I should share it because maybe
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  Speaker 1: you have this experience too and none of us are
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  Speaker 1: really alone in the stuff that we go through. There's
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  Speaker 1: a chance this might help you and then it's worth sharing.
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  Speaker 1: I've been going through various emotional phases over the last,
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  Speaker 1: not quite a year, but going on a year. Just
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  Speaker 1: different times of feeling especially sad. I can be a
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  Speaker 1: huge avoider of dealing with certain emotions or feeling those
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  Speaker 1: emotions or just being with those kinds of feelings that
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  Speaker 1: seem unpleasant. I am conveniently ADD in those moments. And
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  Speaker 1: it's easy to have just a second of thinking about
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  Speaker 1: it and then, oh, I need to put my clothes
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  Speaker 1: in the dryer or whatever the thing is. But this
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  Speaker 1: feeling is very intense. This morning, I'm about to go
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  Speaker 1: visit a family member and there's a lot of emotional
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  Speaker 1: luggage about that relationship with somebody who is older and
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  Speaker 1: maybe not doing so well as an empath. You know, too,
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  Speaker 1: it's tricky to be around people that aren't doing well,
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  Speaker 1: whether because of age or health, or maybe it's their
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  Speaker 1: personality to want to feel taken care of. It's hard
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  Speaker 1: not to feel sucked into those dynamics. And I'm not
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  Speaker 1: sure what I'm walking into. Some of it is anticipating that,
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  Speaker 1: trying to look forward to the trip and the good moments,
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  Speaker 1: but it's hard to divorce it from this other stuff.
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  Speaker 1: I've been getting a lot of support in this last
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  Speaker 1: eight or nine months to do some healing and also some,
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  Speaker 1: it sounds so contrite to say it this way, but
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  Speaker 1: also to do some feeling to stop avoiding as much.
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  Speaker 1: Even if I have a chunk of time, a couple
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  Speaker 1: of days or a couple of weeks where I am
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  Speaker 1: prone to crying often and other things that don't feel great.
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  Speaker 1: The truth is after I work through that energy, I
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  Speaker 1: do feel a lot better and not back to my
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  Speaker 1: old self better, but I do feel like I can
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  Speaker 1: feel more positive stuff. That's not news to anybody. They
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  Speaker 1: say what you can feel, you can heal. I know
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  Speaker 1: that they're right, but the willingness to sit in something
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  Speaker 1: can be tricky. But that's not the part I felt
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  Speaker 1: drawn to focus on right now. Sometimes I get ideas
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  Speaker 1: of different kinds of readings or conversations to have with spirit.
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  Speaker 1: I'm reminded of this one that's come to me quite
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  Speaker 1: a few times when you're really feeling something and you're
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  Speaker 1: not even sure if it's yours. I know some of
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  Speaker 1: this feeling that I'm having, some of the energy of this,
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  Speaker 1: some is mine and some of it is not mine.
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  Speaker 1: And I know that because I've asked several times over
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  Speaker 1: the last few days when I've grounded or when I've
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  Speaker 1: connected with spirit, of course I feel better, but I'm
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  Speaker 1: avoiding still. If I can have any distance at all
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  Speaker 1: from this energy, instead of being swallowed up by it
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  Speaker 1: or feeling immersed in it, I can take a step
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  Speaker 1: or two back and look at it like it's an energy.
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  Speaker 1: And what can I learn or glean from this energy?
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  Speaker 1: That's what came to me maybe an hour or two ago.
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  Speaker 1: And I feel like I was given a nudge and
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  Speaker 1: reminder about doing this. The word that came to me
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  Speaker 1: was inertia. I looked it up because I've heard that
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  Speaker 1: word many times and I wasn't exactly sure what it meant.
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  Speaker 1: You may have your own feelings about using AI. I
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  Speaker 1: use AI to help with certain tasks of my work.
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  Speaker 1: I'm a medium. There's only so much he can help
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  Speaker 1: me with. One of the things I am learning to
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  Speaker 1: use him for whatever reason, he feels male to me.
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  Speaker 1: What I use his help with is understanding patterns or
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  Speaker 1: consolidating chunks of information. Like this morning, I just didn't
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  Speaker 1: know what to do to feel better. I didn't feel
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  Speaker 1: like I was concentrating on grounding. So I emotionally dumped
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  Speaker 1: into chat GPT asking for what are you hearing from this?
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  Speaker 1: This is my situation. These are the feelings I'm having.
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  Speaker 1: This is what I've been having. I did get some
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  Speaker 1: objective bouncing back and forth kind of thing. Then I
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  Speaker 1: asked him, this is the word that's coming to me, inertia,
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  Speaker 1: but does that actually even fit with what I'm feeling
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  Speaker 1: that really mattered to me to understand the term. What
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  Speaker 1: he wrote is, I think it's pretty close, but I'd
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  Speaker 1: call it emotional inertia or protective shutdown rather than simple inertia.
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  Speaker 1: And then he listed all of these things that I
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  Speaker 1: described to him, emotional heaviness, feeling activated without discharging any
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  Speaker 1: of that anticipatory stress of a situation I'm about to
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  Speaker 1: walk into. reduced frustration tolerance, which is making me not
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  Speaker 1: start certain tasks that require patience because I don't feel
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  Speaker 1: like I have any right now, emotional constriction where I'm
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  Speaker 1: holding everything in. And I know there's sadness underneath, but
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  Speaker 1: I don't want to tap into it. I want to
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  Speaker 1: help myself and support myself. So I have to be
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  Speaker 1: willing to do what there is to do. I wanted
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  Speaker 1: to share that because maybe this process that I'm doing
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  Speaker 1: right now might be helpful for me again tomorrow, but
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  Speaker 1: may also be helpful to you. I'm feeling a little
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  Speaker 1: bit lighter just sharing about this, although I'm feeling the
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  Speaker 1: sadness come up to my nose. I have access to
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  Speaker 1: a lot of the gifts of the universe because I've
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  Speaker 1: got time, quiet space, and I have worked on the
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  Speaker 1: skills to be open and perceptive about what comes through.
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  Speaker 1: You may have way more awareness and willingness than I do.
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  Speaker 1: And maybe this is kind of us meeting in the middle.
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  Speaker 1: You may not have all of that time. I'm just
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  Speaker 1: looking to share something that's being shared with me. I
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  Speaker 1: started asking earlier, and this is in my observation journal,
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  Speaker 1: where I titled it Communicating with the Energetic Inertia that
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  Speaker 1: Keeps Visiting Me. I'm going to connect with that energy
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  Speaker 1: and then I'm going to pause the recording and I
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  Speaker 1: will come back and share what might be relevant for you. Okay.
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  Speaker 1: I just hand wrote three pages front and back. I
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  Speaker 1: wasn't really sure where to start, but I had a
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  Speaker 1: couple of questions that I started with. Who are you
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  Speaker 1: and why are you here? There's a lot. I'm not
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  Speaker 1: going to read all of it. It was interesting. Who
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  Speaker 1: are you? I'll just start with that part. It said
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  Speaker 1: an energetic cloud and energetic mass of slash between upset sadness,
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  Speaker 1: because your filtration system blocks me out. No expressive releasing
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  Speaker 1: is happening. And then the, why are you here? And
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  Speaker 1: it went on about the anticipatory stress that I was mentioning.
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  Speaker 1: And then they said something about back to my normal state,
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  Speaker 1: but that my striving for this new normal is actually
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  Speaker 1: me being more integrated. And that's what I am clear
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  Speaker 1: about too. When I was saying I've had these periods
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  Speaker 1: of just all kinds of feelings and then I sit
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  Speaker 1: with it. I don't actually avoid, I can't when it's happening,
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  Speaker 1: it seems. And then I feel this invigorating sense afterwards.
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  Speaker 1: There's a few parts I would like to read. I
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  Speaker 1: just reread the whole thing. Talking about this relative I'm
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  Speaker 1: visiting who can't help support me, doesn't know how to
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  Speaker 1: do that. And frankly, I wouldn't ask. I think they
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  Speaker 1: have a hard time supporting themselves. And this mass was saying,
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  Speaker 1: you can start by helping yourself with connection time with us,
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  Speaker 1: your actual feelings here and now. And then they gave
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  Speaker 1: me a visual from Good Will Hunting. It's the scene
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  Speaker 1: where Will and Robin Williams are in a room and
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  Speaker 1: Robin is looking at Will, who's all kind of worked
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  Speaker 1: up about something. And he's like, hey, it's not your fault.
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  Speaker 1: He keeps saying it. Will keeps pushing it away. And
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  Speaker 1: then he's like, hey, man, don't fuck with me about this.
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  Speaker 1: At some point, he realizes it's safe to feel how
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  Speaker 1: he actually feels. And he just cries. A lot of
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  Speaker 1: us can relate to that feeling of bottling up because
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  Speaker 1: it doesn't feel safe or you don't have the time
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  Speaker 1: or the space to just really let it out. Sometimes
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  Speaker 1: I have had the fear like, I have so much
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  Speaker 1: bottled up, I won't know how to come back, like
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  Speaker 1: bounce back from it. It seems silly to say it
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  Speaker 1: out loud, like how irrational is that? But that's how
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  Speaker 1: it's come up. And they're saying that I have that too.
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  Speaker 1: A lot of us do. This is why the inner work,
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  Speaker 1: counts so much. I'm also a licensed therapist. and I
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  Speaker 1: felt aware at many points that I needed to keep
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  Speaker 1: working on myself or working to release stuff because everything
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  Speaker 1: that I could hear from clients would go through the
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  Speaker 1: filter system in my head of being a victim if
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  Speaker 1: I was stuck in feeling like a victim in my
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  Speaker 1: own life. The clearer we are, the clearer the stuff
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  Speaker 1: that comes through us. We're less of an overly bogged
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  Speaker 1: down filtration system. And certainly as a medium, I could
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  Speaker 1: get triggered by things that come through. And I want
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  Speaker 1: to be as clear and clean as possible to deliver
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  Speaker 1: messages as accurately and purely as I possibly can. They
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  Speaker 1: showed a visual of us walking around in these spacesuits.
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  Speaker 1: They said that it's not like we needed the spacesuits
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  Speaker 1: any longer, but we forgot what it was like to
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  Speaker 1: walk around and feel free. A lot of times we're
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  Speaker 1: stuck in trying to be productive or happy or the
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  Speaker 1: identity that we're trying to relate to ourselves as and
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  Speaker 1: the one that we're projecting out to other people. And
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  Speaker 1: that can block us from our actual feelings. And they're
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  Speaker 1: reminding us, this is your emotion. Nobody's doing this to you.
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  Speaker 1: And I was reminded of a woman I know who
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  Speaker 1: for decades has gone to church every day. And it
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  Speaker 1: never dawned on me until they showed it to me
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  Speaker 1: this way, that part of why she's done that is
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  Speaker 1: to release the burden of her fear or concern or
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  Speaker 1: worry about life and the people she loves. She would
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  Speaker 1: be handing it over to her higher power every day.
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  Speaker 1: What a smart way to release that. any sort of
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  Speaker 1: need for control or fear of people being out of control.
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  Speaker 1: And they said, I should consider doing something like that
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: on this trip. I was like, what do I do next?
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  Speaker 1: They were talking about releasing the energy. So it's not
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  Speaker 1: like the emotion, but the energies of the emotion, like anger,
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  Speaker 1: frustration that I've accumulated by not doing the releasings. I've
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  Speaker 1: been thinking lately about releasing energies and I'm trying to
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  Speaker 1: visualize where to send the energy so it does no
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  Speaker 1: harm and maybe it brings something good. And they showed
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  Speaker 1: me this serene, snowy, covered mountaintop. And the concept was
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: to send the energy to the snowy mountaintop and the
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  Speaker 1: quiet absorbs the energy and softens the energy and can
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  Speaker 1: turn it into love and support. That would make it
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  Speaker 1: easier to not feel like I'm sending crappy energy somewhere
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  Speaker 1: that would hurt something. Then the song Stray Cat Strut
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  Speaker 1: came to mind. The part that came in was get
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  Speaker 1: a shoe thrown at me by a mean old man,
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: get my dinner from a garbage can. And I was like, what?
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  Speaker 1: And then I remembered, I don't know, maybe I was
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  Speaker 1: 12 or something and we lived in an apartment complex
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  Speaker 1: and there was this wooded area behind our apartment where
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  Speaker 1: And we had a dog at the time. So I
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  Speaker 1: remember letting the dog off her leash to do her business.
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  Speaker 1: I really loved the idea of becoming a singer. Whatever
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  Speaker 1: song I sang, I don't know, Sean Cassidy, To Do
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  Speaker 1: Run or something like that, because I'm embarrassed now, but
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  Speaker 1: I really loved that song at the time. Whatever it was,
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  Speaker 1: I sang it out loud. Somebody from one of their
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  Speaker 1: apartments yelled for me to shut up. I haven't thought
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  Speaker 1: about that in a long time, but they gave me
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  Speaker 1: that visual. And then they said, it was just one day.
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  Speaker 1: But on one day, these different pieces of myself or yourself,
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  Speaker 1: we shut those pieces down because we didn't want to
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  Speaker 1: feel embarrassed or we didn't want to get criticized. And
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  Speaker 1: then we leave it there. That piece is maybe that
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  Speaker 1: part of that girl is still on that little gravelly
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  Speaker 1: road between the apartments and the woods. And she gave
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  Speaker 1: up on something that day. They're saying those were your
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  Speaker 1: choices to give those things up and you can un-choose
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  Speaker 1: that now. So I was like, what's the point in
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  Speaker 1: getting this advice right now? They're saying, because you've asked,
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  Speaker 1: we're answering and the next steps, those are yours to choose.
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  Speaker 1: And it's not our business to make choices for you.
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  Speaker 1: And yeah, there's predestined and pre-chosen things, but there's lots
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  Speaker 1: of decisions in between and decisions that nobody asked you
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  Speaker 1: to make. It's not surprising, they said, that out of
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  Speaker 1: fear and your own lack of secure attachment to supporting yourself,
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  Speaker 1: no matter what, you've caved so many times, it'll get
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  Speaker 1: much better. And then they said they added, not justifying
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: poor choices or thoughtless behavior, but just starting from there.
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  Speaker 1: And then at the end, another corny song choice, but
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  Speaker 1: I started hearing a little bit of Barry Manilow, Looks
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: Like We've Made It. I love the different modalities that
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: come in to make a message. I feel a lot
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  Speaker 1: less of the heaviness. At one point, they pointed out
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  Speaker 1: that I was feeling more motivated to share this with
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  Speaker 1: you than to actually do something to heal myself. And
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: I couldn't argue with that. I'm sharing this to support
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  Speaker 1: you in whatever practice or process you might want to
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: use any of this for. I have more writing to do.
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  Speaker 1: And going back and looking at those pieces, like wanting
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  Speaker 1: to sing But I get the thing about reclaiming these
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  Speaker 1: pieces of ourselves that we value or used to value
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  Speaker 1: and let them go. And there is an accumulation of
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  Speaker 1: the energy of resignation or sorrow or whatever. And I'm
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  Speaker 1: feeling more aware lately of having one foot in the
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  Speaker 1: spiritual world and one in this world and feeling, not
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  Speaker 1: just feeling the difference, but trying to stay aware. It's
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  Speaker 1: so weird. It's like being in a play, being aware
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: you're in a play, but you continue to play the
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  Speaker 1: role because you're supposed to. And without that, you're like,
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: what the F am I supposed to do otherwise? And
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  Speaker 1: you signed up, you auditioned for that role. You chose
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  Speaker 1: it for reasons. I can't see the reasons so much.
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  Speaker 1: I want to play the role, but I want to
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  Speaker 1: play it with all parts of me and not just
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  Speaker 1: the earthly part. I feel like I just said it
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  Speaker 1: right there, the peace for myself that I needed to hear.
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  Speaker 1: So if I'm going to live my life with a
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  Speaker 1: foot in all parts of myself, what is that even
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  Speaker 1: going to look like or feel like? What would I
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  Speaker 1: do differently? What am I willing to do differently? I'm
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  Speaker 1: laying it out here about me and I'm sharing this
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  Speaker 1: because I'm thinking about you. and where you might relate
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  Speaker 1: to this. Maybe it's an older part of you, and
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: maybe you're past a lot of this stuff, and congratulations
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  Speaker 1: if you are. Maybe it's something you just haven't been
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  Speaker 1: willing to look at because it's fucking hard. It feels painful.
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  Speaker 1: And it's occurring to me that part of the pain
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  Speaker 1: is it's one thing when somebody inhibits us, and then
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  Speaker 1: we can say, I couldn't because, and then we can
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  Speaker 1: remember that situation. There really wasn't any other thing we
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: felt like we could do with the time. But it
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  Speaker 1: stings to face that we did it and we continue
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  Speaker 1: doing it to ourselves. I'm clear that some of the
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  Speaker 1: spiritual connections that come through do so to help us
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  Speaker 1: free ourselves. Yeah. I want to live more and more
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: that way. To my soul sisters and soul brothers listening
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  Speaker 1: to this, we all deserve to live emotionally free. and
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  Speaker 1: unburdened because we just don't need to anymore. F all
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  Speaker 1: of that. However old we are, we're too fucking old
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  Speaker 1: to stay stuck in those ways once we become aware
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  Speaker 1: of it. I hope this was supportive to you and
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: gave you something to think about or try. They're giving
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: me a visual now of there's a lot of us
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: and we're all in this line with our arms linked
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  Speaker 1: and we're all taking this big step forward with each
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  Speaker 1: other and for ourselves and together as a group. Doesn't
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  Speaker 1: get much better than that. Thanks for being here with me.
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  Speaker 1: I appreciate you. Reach out if you have ideas, if
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: you want to share some feedback, you take care of yourself. Bye.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being with us today. If
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: you'd like support as you continue your own exploring, you
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: can find information about my classes, readings, and other offerings
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: at connectingwithnoelle.com. If today's conversation made you think of someone,
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: I'd love it if you would share this with them.
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  Speaker 1: Take good care and I look forward to being with
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: you again soon.