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The Calling of a Wife · Passing On The Faith

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: And now because we are united to Jesus and we have new life in him, we can no longer walk as the Gentiles walk.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's what we get to when we get to chapter 4.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: Paul says, you can't walk like the rest of the world walks anymore because you're alive.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: You can't live like dead people anymore.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: What do the Gentiles do?
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: Those that are dead in sins and do not know Christ, how do they live?
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: They walk according to their selfish desires, they fulfill their lusts, they are greedy, they practice impurity, they give way to bitterness, wrath, anger, and clamor.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: But Paul says, But you have not learned Christ that way.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: If you have come to know Christ, if he is living within you, then you can't live this way anymore.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: You can't live like the Gentiles live.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: You're listening to Passing on the Faith, a podcast from generations.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Every week, we bring you a powerful moment from one of our sermons, audiobooks, webinars, or conference talks.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Handpicks to help you build a strong biblical foundation for your family.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: This week's episode is a sermon from an equipping series at Reformation Church of Elizabeth, entitled The Calling of a Wife by Joshua Suisseau.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: Let's stand together to read the Word of God now.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: We're looking at Ephesians chapter 5, verses 22 to 33.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: Ephesians 5, 22 through 33.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: Let us hear now the word of God.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: He who loves his wife loves himself.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ in the church.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: This is the very word of God.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: You may be seated.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: Let's go to the Lord in prayer.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: Our God and Father, we we seek your Spirit's presence and your Spirit's guidance to rightly understand the word and to rightly receive it.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: We pray that all of us would have ears to hear.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: Even as some of us are not wives, pray that this word would be relevant to every one of us, that we would see its importance as we look at Ephesians 5.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: We pray this in the name of Christ.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well, several months ago, Pastor Kevin began a series of equipping messages.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: The goal of these messages is to provide practical direction from the Bible on issues of great importance.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: We want to equip you as the saints for every good work and for the work of ministry in your lives.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: And the conviction around bringing out the scriptures this way is taken from 2 Timothy 3.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: When Paul speaks about the inspiration of Scripture in 2 Timothy 3, he says that all scripture is given by inspiration of God, and it's profitable.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: And in verse 17, he says that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: So our conviction as we preach the Scriptures, as we give you the Word, is that the Bible is sufficient to equip you for every good thing that you need to do in life, for every challenge you face in life as well.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: The word of God is sufficient.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: We are not left without direction or guidance in this fallen world on how to live for Christ and for the glory of our Redeemer.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: The scriptures equip us in practical ways on how to do that.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: The Bible is not just given to us just to be something that we ponder and speculate about and talk about, but something that enables us to live for Christ, to do things for Him.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's a very practical book.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so today I want to bring practical direction on the topic of marriage and the unique and different roles that God has given to husbands and wives in marriage.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: Addressing marriage in this series is important because marriage is a God-ordained human relationship that's unlike any other human relationship.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: It is unique when you think about other human relationships with brothers or sisters or children or employees.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: They're all different kinds of human relationships that have unique elements to them, but marriage is set apart from all of them because it's the only relationship that is a one-flesh relationship.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: It is so unique and so important.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's also important to address marriage because marriage is foundational to the way the world works.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: For better or for worse, in terms of the effects of sin, the way that people view and practice marriage around us shapes the world.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: It shapes society.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: It is foundational to human society because it is the way in which God designed there to become more humans.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: This is the way in which he designed humanity to bring forth children and for there to be future generations.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, many have gone outside of God's design and damaged it.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: But it is meant to take place in the context of marriage.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: Think about this.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: The first two human beings who ever existed were married to each other.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: That's the way it ought to be, of course.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: You wouldn't have any other human beings otherwise in terms of God's design.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: But marriage is foundational to society, it's foundational to the world.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: It shows itself in every human culture throughout history, not always according to God's design, but it's always existed because it is basic to human nature.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's basic to God's design.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: This does not mean that everyone is called to marriage, or that if you're not married right now, or if you never get married, that you're an inferior human being.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, not at all.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's not the case.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: Our Lord Jesus is married to the church.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: He wasn't married to a woman.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: And every human being at least has a temporary calling to singleness in our childhood and early youth, and some are called to perpetual singleness.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: As the apostle says in 1 Corinthians 7, each one has their calling from God.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: So, regardless of whether you are single because you're a child or young adult who's not yet married, or if you are called to singleness perpetually, it is important that everyone in this church has a right understanding of marriage.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: It affects all of us, whether or not we're married or not.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so I want to seek wisdom from the Word on the way in which God has designed marriage.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: And we can find no better place, I think, than to go to one of the central marriage texts of the Bible, which is Ephesians 5.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: So at first, what I want to do is to give you a big picture view of what Ephesians 5 is about and how it connects to the rest of Ephesians.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: And then I want to get into some practical direction as well as some controversial questions around how this passage is to be applied.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: I want to deal with that straight on in terms of how we are to understand it.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm narrowing my focus here in this message and the next message to just a few key points.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: The first aim that I have is that I want us to understand how a Christian marriage becomes a beautiful and glorious illustration of Christ's redeeming love.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: I want us to see that.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: I want us to appreciate that.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: And then, secondly, I do want to address how husbands and wives differ from one another and what God has called them to in marriage, what their particular calling is in marriage.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: And my desire for all of us is that we would have great hope for what our marriages can become by the grace of God.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: I want us to have a hopefulness around what God has intended this to be, and therefore what it can become, even if we're not there yet in different ways.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: And that we would better understand our calling as well, so that we could then fulfill that calling.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: So let's go ahead and get into it here and begin with marriage as a God-designed illustration of Christ's redeeming love.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: We see this, of course, all throughout Ephesians 5, as Paul draws out this analogy about marriage.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: But if you go to verse 32, you'll see how Paul connects these things.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: He's just quoted Genesis chapter 2, the first couple to be married, Adam and Eve.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: He quotes that, and then this is what he says in verse 32.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: What Paul wants us to understand is that marriage is a God-designed illustration or analogy of Christ's relationship of redeeming love with the church.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's an illustration, or we can use the word analogy to describe it.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: And the reason we know this to be the case, in addition to verse 32, is that throughout Ephesians 5, if you go verse by verse, you'll see that there's this constant repeated phrase where Paul says, just as, or he'll say, as.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: He'll say, Christ is this way, and just as Christ is this, so also the husband ought to be this.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: Or just as the church submits to Christ, so the wives should submit to their husbands.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: He does these connections throughout Ephesians 5.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: What Paul is doing is drawing an analogy for us.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: Now, what's an analogy?
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: Well, an analogy is something that has some resemblance to another thing.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't resemble that other thing in every respect.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: Usually an analogy means there's differences between the two things, but there's similarities as well.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: Now, to properly understand the analogy, we have to identify the parts that bear resemblance to one another.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: And Paul does that for us.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: He says, This resembles this, this resembles this.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: Now we know there are differences if you think about husbands and wives and Christ in the church.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: You might think of a few of those differences and say, now, wait a minute, there's differences between these things, aren't there?
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: We know that husbands are not the Son of God.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's obvious.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: They do not have all authority in heaven and on earth.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: They're not sinless like Jesus.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: Those are differences.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: Wives, similarly, they're not exactly the same as the church either.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: They're not a corporate entity.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: Wives are not redeemed by the blood of their husbands.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: But there are points of connection, and it's important for us then to say and understand, ask Paul as we read Ephesians 5, Paul, what does what is the connection?
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: Where does that analogy exist between Christ and the church and husbands and wives?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: And Paul really does that for us quite clearly throughout.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: Now I want to make sure that we keep this connection to Christ in the church as we look at the practical questions about marriage and our own marriages.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's very important that we keep these things connected.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I have two points of application concerning this connection that Paul makes.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: The first is that our marriages, because of this analogy, they have the potential to be one of the most beautiful illustrations of the gospel in all the world.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's true that in general, as Christians, that our lives should more and more reflect Christ.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: We should all become living illustrations of what Jesus does to redeem people, right?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: Our lives should become more and more filled with the fragrance of Christ.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: And yet there's something unique about marriage's capability to illustrate these things because marriage is designed to picture it in harmony.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: We learn from Ephesians 5 that marriage is uniquely suited to portray the saving love of Christ and the redemptive beautification of the church.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: That's the two sides that are brought out here Christ redeeming, sacrificial love, and then the church being redeemed and beautified, made more beautiful all the time.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: And marriage, our marriages have the capability by the grace of God to do this.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: Jesus is the Lord and the Savior of the church.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: He is redeeming the church, he is sanctifying the church.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: And the bride is becoming more beautiful.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: The bride is becoming cleansed of every impurity and made obedient to Christ.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so as our marriages grow more and more into the picture of Ephesians 5, they become one of the most striking and captivating illustrations of the gospel.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: Our marriages, they bear witness to the love of Christ.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: They benefit those around us.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: They benefit our children, of course, first and foremost, they're seeing this living illustration that should more and more become like this relationship.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: But it goes out from there.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: It blesses the church, it blesses extended family, it blesses friends.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: They can see in this husband and this wife, redeemed by the grace of God, love, sacrifice, honor, holiness.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: They see all these things coming together in harmony, and they think, what enabled this to take place?
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: And we must say it is the Lord Jesus Christ that enabled such a relationship to exist.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: So that's the first application concerning this analogy that Paul draws out.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: Now the second application is this, and it's very important for how we go into applying Ephesians 5.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: Our marriages can only become like Ephesians 5 if the rest of Ephesians 1 through 5 is true of us.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: We need all of the rest of what Ephesians teaches to be true of us if we will live out the vision of Ephesians 5.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: Now, one thing I've learned in recent years as I've studied this passage is something quite simple and quite important.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: It seems almost too obvious to say, but it's very important.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: What I came to realize is that Ephesians 5 comes after Ephesians 1 through 4.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: Seems obvious, but I don't think I had grasped the importance of it.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: And perhaps this happens that we can disconnect Ephesians 5 in our minds from Ephesians 1 through 4 because we might read a marriage book that talks about Ephesians 5.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: We might do a marriage teaching about Ephesians 5 like I'm doing right now.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: And the risk is that we decouple it from all that Paul laid out in this grand vision of God's redemption through Christ in Ephesians 1 through 4.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: We also could therefore risk thinking that we can live out Ephesians 5 without the redemption of Ephesians 1 through 4 that's already been described.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: And the reality is we can't.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: Let us grasp the importance of this.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: Our marriages will fail to picture the beauty and glory of Christ's saving love unless Jesus Christ has begun to transform us as individuals.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: Unless you and I are in Christ, we will fail to reflect the redeeming love of Jesus in our marriage relationship.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: It must be true of us that we have received this great salvation, that we are living out the spirit-filled life of Ephesians 1 through 4, if Ephesians 5 will ever become true in our marriages.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to just sketch again what did we learn in Ephesians 1 through 4?
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: I can't go through the whole pat the whole chap all those chapters, but I want to once again remind us.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: What did Paul lay down as a foundation before Ephesians 5?
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: Well, in 2 Corinthians 5, you remember Paul says, if anyone is in Christ, he or she is a new creation.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: Old things have passed away, behold, all things have become new.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: That must be true of us if we will live out Ephesians 5.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: And the new creation, it changes everything about us.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: Because we are alive in Christ, everything starts to change in our lives.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: What did we learn from Ephesians 1 through 4?
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: Well, going back through all the way to chapter 1, we must be those who have received redemption through Christ's blood, the forgiveness of sins.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: We must be those that have received the downpayment of our inheritance, the indwelling Spirit of God, which we received when we believed the gospel.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: We must be those who were once dead but now have been made alive in Christ, risen with him.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: We must be those saved by grace through faith.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: We must be those that have that Spirit of God dwelling within us, enabling us to more and more comprehend the immeasurable love of Christ for us.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: And now because we are united to Jesus and we have new life in Him, we can no longer walk as the Gentiles walk.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's what we get to when we get to chapter 4.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: Paul says, you can't walk like the rest of the world walks anymore because you're alive.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: You can't live like dead people anymore.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: What do the Gentiles do?
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: Those that are dead in sins and do not know Christ, how do they live?
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: They walk according to their selfish desires, they fulfill their lusts, they are greedy, they practice impurity, they give way to bitterness, wrath, anger, and clamor.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: But Paul says, But you have not learned Christ that way.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: If you have come to know Christ, if he is living within you, then you can't live this way anymore.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: You can't live like the Gentiles live.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: You are called to live and walk worthy of this high calling that you have in Christ, where there used to be, when you did not know Christ, lying and deception.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: Now Jesus teaches you to speak the truth to your neighbor.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: Closest neighbor being your wife, of course, or your husband.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: Where there was once bitterness and wrath, now we've learned to forgive one another as God in Christ forgave us, especially our husband or wife.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: Where there was once wrath and anger and selfishness, now we've learned the, we are learning the life of Christ to lay down our own interests, to look to the interests of others in humility.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_01: This is what's happened now that we are in Christ.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: Now, Paul says we are children of light and we put off these sinful things.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: Now we are we are filled with the Spirit.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: And because we we are filled with the Spirit of God, we there's all these things that begin to happen to us.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: We begin to become thankful people.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: We're grateful people.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's enjoyable more and more to be around us because we're grateful, and it just flows out of our speech, and we we start singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: And as Paul brings it to the marriage passage, these are some of the things that he's laid down as a foundation.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: He has said all these things, and they're very important to understanding Ephesians 5.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: The marriage relationship sketched in Ephesians 5 only works when we have Ephesians 1 through 4.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: Imagine trying to do marriage without the command, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_01: Is it possible to do Ephesians 5 without Ephesians 4.32?
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_01: Don't try it.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_01: You'll need Ephesians 4.32 and everything else that came before it.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: It won't be possible.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: Now, what Ephesians 5 gives us as it goes into Ephesians 6, ignoring the chapter division, since Paul didn't have those, is what the spirit-filled life looks like.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: We need to understand that this is an application of the spirit-filled life to particular callings that God has given different people.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so my exhortation in terms of this analogy point is this: do not try Ephesians 5 without Christ.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: It will not Work.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: Do not forget Ephesians 1 through 4 as you think through the applications of Ephesians 5.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: So now I want to get into the specific instructions that Paul gives in verses 22 through 24 to wives in particular.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then next week, Lord willing, we will address that larger section addressed to husbands.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_01: Now, what Paul does is he transitions from the general calling of every Christian, because that's what Ephesians 4.32 is, for example, every Christian should apply Ephesians 4.32, right?
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's not distinct to husbands or wives or children.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: We all forgive one another as God in Christ forgave us, just as one example.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: But what Paul does as he shifts to verse 22 is to begin laying out what we call particular callings.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_01: Every Christian has general callings that we have to live out as Christians.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_01: But then we have particular callings that are distinct and unique to the particular place that God has given us.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: If we're husbands or wives or children or servants in a household, as Paul speaks about in Ephesians 6.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: So he lays out these particular callings, or we could call them particular duties.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: Now, when people hear the word duties in the modern day, they sometimes resist that word.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I understand why some people resist the word.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's probably because I read a lot of the Puritans that the word doesn't bother me because they talk a lot about duties.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: But it's important to remember that duty does not contradict delight in Scripture.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: Duty is not contrary to affectionate love.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the word duty may be a helpful word to recover.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_01: Husbands have duties, wives have duties, children have duties to do.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_01: We want to remember that because if you recall that marriage is a covenant relationship, it has vows.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: Those are obligations that you have promised before God.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: They are things that you must do.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: They're not negotiable.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_01: But the duties that God has given us in Ephesians 5 will not be burdensome drudgeries when the Spirit of God empowers us to apply them.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: The Spirit of God makes us to love the truth of God and to do his will joyfully.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's what we want.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_01: So let's go now to the particular calling of wives that is laid out in these verses.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_01: Now, as I looked at Ephesians 5, I wondered, why doesn't Paul address husbands first?
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: I thought, well, if husbands are the head of the home and they're responsible and they're to love.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: And since Jesus initiates everything in terms of his relationship to the church, I thought, why doesn't Paul do husbands first?
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: And the reason I'm doing wives first is because Paul does wives first.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's what Ephesians 5 gives us.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: So why is that?
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: Well, as I as I pondered verses 21 and 22, I think the answer lies with what Paul is doing in explaining and applying verse 21.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_01: So let's go back to verse 21 and read it with verse 22.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: Verse 21 says, Submitting to one another in the fear of God.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: Wives, submit to your husbands, to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: So what this brings us to is the question of what does verse 21 mean?
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: What is verse 21 applying to?
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: Some read verse 21 to refer to a general call to every Christian in the church to have a sense of general submission to one another.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: That we have this spirit of deference to one another.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I believe there's other passages that would give us that kind of attitude, right?
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: It would teach us to not look to our own interests, to be humble, to look to the interests of others.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: Those would all be things that do call us to a spirit of general deference to one another.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: But I I wonder, uh I have wondered if verse 21 means that.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I will suggest to you that I believe that a better understanding of verse 21 is to see verse 21 as a general command that is then that is then explained in detail in particular callings that follow.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: So let me explain that further.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: Verse 21 gives the general command to the spirit-filled church.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_01: It says, submit to one another in the fear of God.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: And then it goes to wives, submit to your husbands, and then it goes to children, obey your parents, and then it goes to servants, obey your masters.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's the sequence of the structure.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_01: And what I think Paul is doing is as he lays out this household table, is he is explaining how verse 21 is to be specifically applied in these different relationships.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_01: Let me read Peter O'Brien's commentary.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: I think he does a good job of explaining this.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_01: He says, the flow of the argument, verse 21, being submissive to one another in the fear of Christ, is a programmatic statement which introduces the topic of submission.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: And this is developed in the household table of 522-6.9.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's as though the apostle is saying, Submit to one another, and what I mean is, wives, submit to your own husbands, children to your parents, slaves to your masters.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_01: And this would make very good literary sense of what Paul is doing because he always addresses the person that is submitting to another first.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: Wives, children, servants.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_01: And then he addresses the other group there: husbands, fathers, masters.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_01: Now, if we were to take the idea of mutual submission and to try to apply it to the household table as a whole, I think we would make nonsense of what the passage is saying.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_01: If we were to take verse 21 and say, well, it just means mutual submission, everybody to everybody, everybody submits to everybody, what would happen to the rest of the household table if we were to convert it?
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: We could apply it to the passage on children, and would it make any sense to say, parents, obey your children, for this is right?
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_01: That makes a total uh overturning of what Paul is teaching here.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't make all of these statements in the household table convertible one to the other.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't have uh the statement, masters, obey your servants.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: No, there's actually an authority structure here.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: And servants are to obey their masters, but masters have obligations before God.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_01: They're to love their servants, treat them justly, and so forth.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so when it comes to the marriage relationship, uh there's not an exception to the way that Paul has laid this out.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_01: He is describing wives submit to your own husbands as a particular application of verse 21.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: Now you might think, well, aren't there differences between a wife and a child and a servant?
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely there are.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_01: There are very significant differences.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_01: Marriage is fundamentally unique from those other relationships.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's a one-flesh relationship, it's a companionship, it's a friendship.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_01: A wife is the helper of her husband right alongside him.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_01: Furthermore, a wife also has a measure of authority in the home, as she is a household steward and manager.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: She has authority over the children.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: And in the ancient world that Ephesians was written to, a wife also had authority over the servants in the home if there were any that were there.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_01: She had quite a bit of authority.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: But even in that relationship, Paul is saying, Wives, you are to submit to your husbands as the church submits to Christ.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_01: So let's look at verses twenty-two through twenty-four and just make a few more observations here.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_01: Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church, and he is savior of the body.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_01: Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_01: So this is the particular calling that is laid out under the inspiration of the Spirit for wives.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_01: This is the emphasis of Ephesians 5.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_01: Now you might say, well, doesn't the marriage relationship have a lot more than just this topic of submission?
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_01: Aren't there other things?
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_01: There are.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_01: There's Ephesians 1 through 4.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_01: All of those apply to marriage as well.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_01: All of these other one-another commands and living out the Christian life.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_01: These are very important.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_01: But what is worth noting here is that the three New Testament passages that give direct instruction to wives all emphasize the same thing.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_01: Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, 1 Peter 3.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_01: They all say the exact same instruction.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_01: Wives submit to your husbands.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_01: And then they sometimes add explication beyond that.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so clearly this is not a peripheral matter.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's central to the New Testament teaching on the way marriage is structured and designed by God to work.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to make a few observations here so we have a right understanding of what the text says and what it does not say, then by implication.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, it says wives submit themselves to their own husbands.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_01: Now I added the word themselves because the particular verb in Greek is in the middle voice, and that's actually important here because what it means is the one to whom the verb is commanded is themselves to fulfill that command.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_01: The wives are to voluntarily fulfill this command of Ephesians of Ephesians 5.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_01: This means that it's not the duty of the husband to enforce this command.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_01: The command wasn't given to him, it was given to her.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_01: Wives render voluntary submission to their husbands in obedience to the word of God.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_01: We'll get to the calling of husbands in detail more next week.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: But you'll notice that Ephesians 5, nor any other New Testament passage, never says, husbands, make your wives submit to you.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: There's no command that says, husbands, make your wives will subservient to you.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: There's no instruction in the New Testament about that.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_01: The call is given to wives, and then husbands have their calling, the calling of love.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: And as they fulfill the calling of love, these things begin to work in harmony.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_01: So my exhortation here is wives focus on the command God gave you, and husbands focus on the command God gave you.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: That's a really good focus for you.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's what God gave you and his wisdom.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_01: He knew where your temptations would lie, and so he gave you wise instruction under the inspiration of the Spirit.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_01: Second observation, wives are commanded to submit to their own husbands.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_01: I think this should be clear to everybody, but wives and women in general are not commanded to submit to any man in general.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_01: They submit to their own husbands.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_01: Thirdly, submission is done as to the Lord.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_01: As to the Lord.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's a very important phrase for understanding this command, as to the Lord.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_01: What does that mean?
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: Positively, it does mean that this submission that Paul calls for is a comprehensive thing.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_01: He says, just as the church submits to Christ in everything, so wives should be subject to their husbands in everything.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_01: He draws that analogy there together.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's a comprehensive command.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_01: However, you might think, well, wait a minute, what about this everything or that everything?
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_01: I could give you particular examples where one might question whether that's appropriate.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_01: Well, going back to verse 21, it says, submitting to one another in the fear of God.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_01: That means that all submission that is rendered must be done in the fear of God.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_01: And what that means is that there are things that wives cannot and ought not to submit to should their husbands ask them to do so.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: If those instructions of their husbands are contrary to the will of God.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_01: Husbands may not ask their wives to do things contrary to the commands of God, and wives do not have to submit to husbands that ask them to do such things, because they cannot submit to such things in the fear of God.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_01: It would be to violate conscience and to violate the word.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_01: If a husband will not change his mind, she may appeal to other lawful authorities to help in resolving that disagreement.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_01: And if needed, the elders of the church, or in extreme cases, the police, if such a terrible and extreme situation had developed.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_01: So how should we define this submission?
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm kind of taking for granted what it means, but I want to read William Gouja's definition.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: This is in his book on the household passages of Ephesians 6 and 5.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_01: He says, Submission consists in two things.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_01: First, in abstaining from doing things against her husband's will, and secondly, in doing what her husband requires.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_01: All, of course, in accord with the will of God and the commands of God.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so Ephesians 5 lays out this priority for Christian wives.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_01: It is the specific imperative that is given to them, and it is the way in which they more and more illustrate this beautification of the bride of Christ that Ephesians 5 lays out.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_01: And Paul draws the analogy.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_01: He says, just as the beautified bride, the church, is obedient to Christ in everything, so also the Christian wife is subject to her husband in everything.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_01: Now, in our modern day, that's so saturated with feminist ideals, to even use this word is considered offensive by many.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, I would say just to read Ephesians 5 or 1 Peter 3 without commenting on it is offensive to many.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: I've been at weddings where Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3 are read, and you'll find people afterwards they're scoffing, oh, you read that passage about Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: People just immediately scoff at this teaching because it's so far removed from our experience and the practice of secular society.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_01: But I want us to all consider a question as we confront this teaching of Ephesians 5 for husbands or wives.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_01: And the question is: do we love the Word of God?
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_01: Do we believe that the Word of God is inspired by the Spirit and profitable?
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's good for us.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_01: For those who love the Word of God and nourish by it, we shouldn't have reservations in dealing with this passage or any other passage of Scripture.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_01: Now we want to deal with it thoughtfully, wisely, conscientiously, sensitively in terms of those that have been hurt by wrong teaching, but we we cannot avoid the word of God.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_01: We need to address what it says and seek to live it out in every good work.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_01: And for the Christian wife who loves Christ and his word, she will joyfully embrace the calling that has been given to her here in Ephesians 5.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_01: She looks to the Lord for her direction.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_01: She doesn't look to herself, she doesn't even look to her husband ultimately, she looks to the Lord for what she is called to do.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_01: In doing this, she indicates that her trust is in God.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_01: She believes the word.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_01: She believes that God has given her the very wisest path to follow.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_01: She knows that it is a good path.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_01: However, if wives disregard the instruction of Ephesians 5, they act pridefully and rebelliously, and by their actions they preach a false gospel.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_01: A rebellious church is not what Jesus Christ died to redeem and to beautify.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_01: Jesus, the Savior of the body, redeemed the bride, and he's beautifying her, and that bride more and more bends her own, her will, the will of the church bends to the will of Christ.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_01: And thus a wife who fights against her husband is by her actions contradicting the gospel that she professes and disregarding the calling that God has given her.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so, friends, I would ask us this question: do we believe that what Ephesians 5 gives us is good?
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_01: Do we believe it is a good design?
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_01: If we truly believe that Ephesians 5 is the inspired word of God, we're going to acknowledge that this is the wisdom of God.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_01: It is the very revelation of the gospel in picture form.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_01: We love this passage.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_01: It lays out for us such a glorious vision.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_01: Now I want to deal next with some objections and misunderstandings of this command, wives submit to your own husbands.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to deal with these objections and misunderstandings for a few reasons.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_01: One is certainly that to the degree that any of us press against what the word teaches, we need to reckon with that.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_01: We need to say, Am I not humbly receiving what the Word of God says?
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes the issue is one of a rebellious heart.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_01: Any one of us, as we read the Word, we can have a rebellious heart to what the Word says and say, I just don't like what this says.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_01: There are also at times hurting hearts as well.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_01: I know that there have been women who have experienced wrong applications of the teaching of Ephesians 5 and other biblical passages.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_01: And in the midst of the suffering that they have experienced, they can struggle more so as they interact with this passage and say, I have concerns, or I have reservations, or I have objections.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so as we look at some of these objections or misunderstandings, it's for all of us to examine our own hearts as to what our demeanor is.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_01: Do I have a rebellious heart?
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: Do I, or am I, am I suffering?
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_01: Am I misunderstanding the word?
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_01: Am I somewhat pressing against it also because I have suffered in the past?
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_01: That is for each of us to consider as we look at these objections and misunderstandings.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_01: And in looking at these, I want, I hope that by doing it this way, we will gain clarity on the positive teaching of what Ephesians 5 is giving us.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I just have uh three objections or misunderstandings to speak about here.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_01: Here is the first one.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_01: This could be a concern that a wife would have.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_01: She might say, My husband is unloving.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't understand my concerns, doesn't seem to care about my concerns, doesn't seem to love me very much.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_01: How can I submit to someone like this?
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_01: I would gladly submit to my husband if he would become more of the loving husband that's described in Ephesians 5.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_01: Well, for any wife who may experience an unloving and uncaring husband, I want to make it clear that that man is doing a terrible job of living out Ephesians 5.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_01: He's not obeying God, if that's really the case.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_01: He is sinning against the Redeemer as he fails to take into account what God has called him to do in Ephesians 5.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_01: But the question here is, is this command from the Lord something that becomes optional or something that we should disregard due to the failings of the husband?
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think we could see the problem with this objection if we were to convert it to the opposite statement.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_01: We could say, if a husband was to say, I will be loving to my wife once she starts submitting to me.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_01: What's the problem with that statement?
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_01: I think we'd all object and say, No, brother, you need to start loving your wife.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's what God commands.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_01: The problem with either statement, either objection, is it's the idea of conditional obedience.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's the concept that we obey God if other people around us are obeying God.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_01: If someone else does their duty before God, I will start doing my duty.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_01: We have this problem sometimes with children when we're trying to teach them to forgive one another, right?
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_01: And uh you say, well, you need to go ask for forgiveness, and they say, Well, he did it first, and and he hasn't asked me for forgiveness.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like, well, just can somebody start, like, it's a can somebody start doing the will of God here?
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_01: This will be really good to see this relationship come together, and you're just hoping somebody will do the first step.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_01: And and in a similar way, in all of our other Christian relationships and in the marriage relationship, we don't want two people, we don't want a husband and a wife saying, I'll start doing the will of God when he starts doing the will of God, or vice versa.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_01: We want to start doing the will of God now.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_01: We want to walk in the way of Christ because it is the good and pleasant and peaceful way for us.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_01: 2 Corinthians 5, verse 9 gives us this mandate for every Christian.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_01: We make it our aim at all times to please him in all things.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_01: This is our mandate.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's the ultimate mandate for each one of us, whether we're a husband or a wife or child or parent.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_01: I make it my aim to please the Lord in all things.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: And so this is what God has given uh wives.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_01: There are, of course, uh ish sensitive issues that may need to be worked through in the marriage relationship and why this may not be working well.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_01: But this is what the Lord has sketched out for wives is wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_01: Now, another way in which we can address this objection is that there was an entire passage written to deal with this situation.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_01: 1 Peter 3.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_01: 1 Peter 3, particularly the first few verses, addresses a situation in which you have a husband that's not obeying the word.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_01: And that particular word for disobedience, it's an interesting word.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_01: It can sometimes be translated unbelief or disobedience.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_01: You'll see it rendered different ways in the Greek New Testament.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: And the reason for that is because it usually refers to an unbeliever, actually.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_01: If you look at all the other references to this particular word, the one who's disobedient to the word, it addresses unbelievers, those that don't know the Lord.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think it's likely that Peter is especially concerned for the Christian wife who's married to an unbelieving husband, very much disobedient to the word of God, and counseling her on what to do.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_01: Now, this is a husband, if he's an unbeliever, who doesn't have Ephesians 1 through 4.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_01: He might have a physical Bible laying around, but he's not living out Ephesians 1 through 4.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't have new life in Christ.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't know how to forgive as God in Christ forgave him.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't have any of those spiritual resources, and even there, what is this Christian wife called to do?
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_01: Wives likewise be submissive to your own husbands, that even if, here's the objection, even if some do not obey the word, they without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_01: So Peter, he's addressing this challenging situation.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_01: It would be applicable if you had a professing Christian husband that didn't have much regard for the commands of Christ.
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_01: He, of course, is acting foolishly and hypocritically in doing so.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_01: But in either case, the Christian wife is given this command.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_01: This is the way of God, this is the will of God for you.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it will be the way in which you might win him to the truth.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so Peter does not counsel separation from such a husband, though there are biblical reasons for separation, as we've specified it in other contexts.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_01: Even here, though, you're dealing with an ungodly man.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_01: He's not living as Christ has called him to live.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yet here, even here, the wife is called to submit to her own husband.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, Peter does counsel the husbands as well, which we'll deal with next week.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_01: So another objection or misunderstanding is sometimes presented this way.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes this is presented, particularly from the outside world, that doesn't have an interest in Scripture, but it could be a thought that any of us struggle with, and there's reasons that any of us could struggle with this thought.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_01: Some would say that teaching wives to submit to their own husbands and everything is a recipe for tyranny and sinful domineering behavior in the home.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_01: They would say, this is a recipe for this.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_01: You're setting it up for this to result.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_01: What should we think of this?
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_01: Immediately in the minds of some to speak about this topic is to produce images of a harsh, tyrannical, domineering, angry husband who subject their wives to harsh treatment and misuse of their authority.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_01: This is what some people think of.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_01: It could be that they experience that.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_01: That might be one reason.
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_01: Or in general, the world has taught us to fear these things.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_01: And this is where the hurting heart might be responding to the teaching of this passage.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I must admit in response that there are ungodly and tyrannical husbands that do exactly those things.
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_01: These same husbands may even appeal and misuse scriptural teaching to justify their ungodly and wicked behavior toward their wives.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_01: And for any such husband who does that, he ought to know that he will face the fierce judgment of God not only for his hateful behavior towards his wife, but also he will face a more severe judgment for mishandling the word of God and misusing it to further his wicked and sinful ends.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_01: Peter warned about those that twist the Scriptures to their own destruction.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_01: Second Peter 3, he says, Consider the long suffering that are of our Lord is salvation, as also our beloved brother Paul, according to the wisdom given to him, has written to you, as also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things in which there are some things hard to understand, which untaught and unstable people twist to their own destruction, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_01: So there are out there unstable people, untaught people that can misuse the Scriptures and misapply them to justify their sinful behavior, and in doing so they sin against God.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_01: An ungodly husband could misinterpret and misapply the command of submission from the first half of the passage and then utterly ignore the second half of the passage which was addressed to him.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_01: And by doing so, he lives like an unbeliever who knows nothing of the love of Christ, if he ignores these things that God has laid out for him.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_01: And if a wife is facing such a situation where a husband is consistently misusing his authority, rather than edifying his wife with a Christ-like use of such authority, he is tearing her down.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_01: But let me be clear, brothers and sisters, that the wrongful use and application of scriptural teaching should not make us avoid the right use and application of scriptural teaching.
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_01: Instead, because we love the Word of God and it's precious to us, we ought to safeguard it.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_01: We ought to treasure it and safeguard it against all twisting, all misuse, all misunderstanding, and uphold its right use.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_01: Let's not disregard Ephesians 5, 22 through 24 because it has been misused.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_01: And let's remember that just about every doctrine in Scripture has been demonically twisted and misused.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's what the demons are doing all the time.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_01: They're twisting things, confusing people, sowing deceit.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_01: And they can do that for any portion of the scriptures.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_01: You have to remember that Satan quoted Scripture in the temptation with Christ, and the demons can quote Scripture and misuse it.
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_01: But let us not allow the demons to take Ephesians 5, 22 and 20 through 24 away from us by their misuse.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_01: Let us rather uphold its right teaching.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_01: So let's go on to the third objection or misunderstanding.
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_01: And this one deals with something that might be the closest to home for any Christian wife with a Christian husband, kind of a day-to-day challenge that could be faced, and a quite understandable challenge.
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_01: A wife might say, It's difficult for me to trust my husband in this way and submitting to him in all things.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_01: He's made poor decisions in the past.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_01: Our family has faced various consequences from those decisions.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_01: I fear the effects that this will have upon our family if I don't push back against some of these things.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_01: Now, what should we think of this?
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_01: Well, of course, I'm not suggesting that husbands and wives don't communicate, don't work through things, uh, and a husband is a fool if he doesn't listen to his wife's counsel and wisdom, and she's a helper that's been given to him.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_01: But what should we think of this concern and this objection?
• 55:35
  SPEAKER_01: Well, a wife's analysis might be correct in this situation.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_01: She might have a husband that is doing some unwise things that have some consequences.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, she might have, on the other hand, she might be wrong in her analysis.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_01: She might just, she might be fearful, uh, might not be really uh respecting decisions that he has made and not receiving them.
• 55:59
  SPEAKER_01: But in either case, I think it's fair to say that in this scenario, a wife is struggling with fear.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_01: Whether her analysis is correct or not, she's struggling with fear.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_01: The fear of some bad consequences that could flow from her husband's poor leadership.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_01: Now, a common response when any of us fear something is to control the situation.
• 56:22
  SPEAKER_01: We can do this in all of our relationships, we can do this in any avenue of life.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_01: If I'm afraid of something, I try to find some way to control it.
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so it also could be with wives and dealing with their husbands, as they might attempt to control the situation or to control their husbands through subtle manipulation, through arguing, through threats, through demands.
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_01: In each case, if she's driven by fear, she might try these other strategies to try to change the situation, but she's not walking in the spirit when she does so.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's not the will of Christ for her.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's the will of Christ that she walk in the fruit of the Spirit.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's the will of Christ that she submit to her own husband as she is filled with the Spirit and walking in those ways.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_01: Now, as I sketch out this scenario, I want to point out that in a healthy marriage, husband and wife should have lots and lots of communication.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_01: Husbands and wives should seek maximal unity concerning the decisions they make.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_01: They should be patient with one another.
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_01: They should pray with one another through important decisions, and where they have a difference of perspective, a husband who is a wise and loving shepherd will gently, patiently shepherd his wife through that challenge.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_01: They are a one-flesh union.
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_01: They ought to more and more reflect the unity that the church has with Christ.
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_01: But there are situations where a decision may be difficult and the husband will make the final call on it for better or worse in terms of the outcome.
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_01: And this can be difficult for a wife who's fearful of the outcome of that.
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_01: And yet it should also be relieving that she's not shouldering all the responsibility for that decision and its consequences.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's noteworthy again that Peter addresses this issue of fear in connection with a wife's submission to her husband.
• 58:15
  SPEAKER_01: 1 Peter 3, verses 5 through 6.
• 58:17
  SPEAKER_01: It says, For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are, if you do good, and are not afraid with any terror.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_01: So, verse 5, it brings it out for general application.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_01: It says, This is the way of the holy women of old.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_01: They adorn themselves in this pattern of Christ-like love and this obedience to Sarah obeyed Abraham.
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_01: And how could these wives, how could they submit to their husbands, even unbelieving ones, even uncaring ones, even foolish ones that Peter is addressing?
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't by trusting in their husbands, it was by trusting in God.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_01: It is faith and the wisdom, the goodness, the power, and the deliverance of God the Father that enables a woman to face such a situation without fear.
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, this is where we need to bring back Ephesians 1 through 4.
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_01: If you're the one who's in that situation and you're struggling with fear, what do you need to remember about Ephesians 1 through 4?
• 59:28
  SPEAKER_01: Remember that you are the redeemed, adopted, beloved daughter of God.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_01: Remember that you have God the Father, who works all things according to the counsel of his will in your life.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_01: Remember that God is there to help you and to deliver you and to grant you the riches of his grace to do his will in all things.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so, wives, you don't need, you should not hope in your husbands.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_01: You should hope in God.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's what Peter counsels.
• 1:00:01
  SPEAKER_01: Hope in God.
• 1:00:03
  SPEAKER_01: Your husbands will not always be so hopeworthy as we want them to be, but hope in the Lord.
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, Sarah had a difficult situation with Abraham.
• 1:00:13
  SPEAKER_01: He was a fearful, passive, cowardly man at times.
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_01: He was not a very good leader at times.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_01: Abraham led her into some difficult situations.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_01: But yet Sarah is this shining example of this honor and this submission that God has called wives to because she trusted in God.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_01: So, wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord in everything, and do so by trusting God.
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_01: Don't do it in fear.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_01: Do it in faith, in Almighty God, who is working all things according to the counsel of his will for your good and is there to help you.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_01: So it's by the wisdom and purpose of God that Ephesians 5 emphasizes what it emphasizes.
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_01: I've said that many times before.
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_01: And as with all things that God has designed, it works best when we all walk in them.
• 1:01:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so I want to just give a few concluding applications just to every group that's in our church, since not all of us are married.
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_01: I do want to address briefly the wives and the husbands, and all of us as well.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_01: So, husbands, I have this word for you, and I'll say more about this next week.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_01: A lot more about it.
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_01: If you love your wives with the kind of love that Christ pours out on the church, you will make submission for your wives a great deal easier.
• 1:01:37
  SPEAKER_01: While your love will not automatically fix every problem in your marriage, it will go a long way in making this command of submission a sweet and joyful thing.
• 1:01:49
  SPEAKER_01: Wives, if you disregard the word's instructions here, you risk tearing down your own house and bringing destruction to your family.
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_01: But when you joyfully embrace this calling and you put your trust in God, the Lord will take care of you and he will help you in the calling that he has given you to live this out.
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_01: And wives, I would ask you to consider what is your perspective of the Lord's instruction here?
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_01: Do you see the commands of God as burdensome or are they a delight to walk in?
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_01: And what is your attitude toward your husband?
• 1:02:20
  SPEAKER_01: I think you should, wives should consider.
• 1:02:21
  SPEAKER_01: What is my attitude toward my husband, especially as I might think about his failings, his sins, his weaknesses, the things that bother me about him?
• 1:02:32
  SPEAKER_01: What is your attitude about him?
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_01: Are you much more aware of his failings than of the good things that the Lord has done in his life?
• 1:02:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's important that you consider your attitude towards him.
• 1:02:43
  SPEAKER_01: Bethan Lloyd Jones, the wife of Pastor Martin Lloyd Jones, was once asked this question.
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_01: It was kind of a practical question around the marriage relationship and submission.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_01: Woman asked Bethan Lloyd Jones, she says, What if my husband wakes me up at 3 a.m.
• 1:02:58
  SPEAKER_01: demanding I fetch him ice cream?
• 1:03:00
  SPEAKER_01: Am I to go and get it?
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's a very interesting question.
• 1:03:04
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's not very important, is it, to go fetch ice cream?
• 1:03:07
  SPEAKER_01: Seems like a demanding thing to do.
• 1:03:09
  SPEAKER_01: Bethan replied, Yes.
• 1:03:12
  SPEAKER_01: And then phoned for the doctor because he's clearly not a well man.
• 1:03:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I had to think about this response.
• 1:03:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, why did she say it that way?
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think what it illustrates is a love for her husband.
• 1:03:27
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 1:03:28
  SPEAKER_01: She's not quibbling over the silliness of this request.
• 1:03:31
  SPEAKER_01: She's saying, I love my husband, and he's not well.
• 1:03:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to help him.
• 1:03:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's an attitude, it's a demeanor, it's a demeanor of love, it's a demeanor of honor.
• 1:03:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's a silly example, but I think it's helpful to reflect upon.
• 1:03:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I wouldn't counsel any husband in this church to ask such things of their wives, not a good time to do so.
• 1:03:54
  SPEAKER_01: To the singles in our church, whether older singles, young adults, or children, I would urge you to regularly keep the marriages of our congregation in your prayers.
• 1:04:04
  SPEAKER_01: The health of the marriages of our church, it's critical to the health of our church as a whole.
• 1:04:09
  SPEAKER_01: It does affect all of us.
• 1:04:10
  SPEAKER_01: So please pray.
• 1:04:12
  SPEAKER_01: Pray for the marriages of our church.
• 1:04:14
  SPEAKER_01: And to all of us, I want to end with this: that the redeeming love of Christ has the power to fix all of our sin problems in marriage.
• 1:04:24
  SPEAKER_01: Every one of the relational problems you and I have, Jesus Christ's redemption is the solution to that.
• 1:04:33
  SPEAKER_01: He alone can make our marriages beautiful gospel pictures.
• 1:04:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so let us look to him as we take practical application of Ephesians 5 this week and next week.
• 1:04:42
  SPEAKER_01: Let us remember that there is no other way in which we can be saved but the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.
• 1:04:49
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_01: Let's pray.
• 1:04:51
  SPEAKER_01: Our God and Father, we uh we give thanks and praise to you for the good, purposeful design of marriage.
• 1:04:58
  SPEAKER_01: We thank you for all that you've taught us here through Ephesians 5, and I pray for husbands and wives here that we would live out the whole picture of Ephesians 5, that we would see it in connection with your gospel truth, that we would do so as those that are filled with the Spirit, loving Christ in all that we do.
• 1:05:16
  SPEAKER_01: I pray, Lord, that where there is uh challenges, where there are sins in our marriages, where there is hurt in our marriages, that you would bring healing by your grace and make our marriages to reflect this redeeming love more and more.
• 1:05:30
  SPEAKER_01: We pray this in the name of Christ.
• 1:05:32
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 1:05:34
  SPEAKER_01: This has been a production of the Generations Media Network.
• 1:05:37
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