Latest / The Inner Wealth Podcast / Ep230. ’Tis the Season to Feel What You Feel—Christmastime with Mike and Angie.

Transcript

Ep230. ’Tis the Season to Feel What You Feel—Christmastime with Mike and Angie. · The Inner Wealth Podcast

0:04
SPEAKER_00: You ever wake up feeling like there's something missing in your life?
0:07
SPEAKER_00: You ever feel the need to escape your business?
0:10
SPEAKER_00: Are you running your life or is your life running you?
0:12
SPEAKER_00: I'm my Kitco and I'll help you design and bring the life so authentic and aligned with who you really are, you'll get excited just to wake up.
0:19
SPEAKER_00: I'll help you create real wealth, success, and freedom from the inside out.
0:24
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Inner Wealth Podcast, where we learn and choose to live inspired each and every day.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: Angie has her Christmas, her llama Christmas sweater on today.
0:42
SPEAKER_00: So you could probably guess that means that today is Christmas Eve.
0:49
SPEAKER_01: Today is Christmas Eve.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: But tomorrow, and when the day this podcast episode drops, is Christmas.
0:55
SPEAKER_00: So this is our Christmas Day episode.
0:58
SPEAKER_00: Probably our first official Christmas Day episode.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: I don't think we've ever done.
1:03
SPEAKER_01: I think we did we do a Thanksgiving one this year.
1:06
SPEAKER_00: I think I think it was just me.
1:08
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
1:09
SPEAKER_00: And I think because those are my like gratitude.
1:12
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I think we talked about doing the Thanksgiving Day one together because of a lot of what we're gonna talk about today is what we were talking about Thanksgiving.
1:20
SPEAKER_01: So uh, and I I think I was shopping or something, and we you just had to get it done.
1:24
SPEAKER_01: So anyway.
1:25
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, but anyway, um, this is our first official I you should say, you could say holiday, Christmas, uh seasonal episode.
1:34
SPEAKER_00: And this is probably not going to be what you expect.
1:39
SPEAKER_00: And it's not what this season isn't what we expected, it's not what we have come to know, and that's kind of what we want to share.
1:46
SPEAKER_00: We want to share a little bit about this Christmas season and and how we used to operate and function in Christmas, and then what this year has been like for us.
1:56
SPEAKER_00: And then we got a we got a message and you know, some learning that we're gonna wrap in this, but we just want to share this with everybody so you know exactly where we are and that it's okay to be wherever you are.
2:06
SPEAKER_00: You want to talk about where we've been?
2:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, and it's it's um, you know, great, great way to start this.
2:12
SPEAKER_01: Is we I think we've been going through some some deconstruction over the hot over Christmas specifically, well, over the years.
2:20
SPEAKER_01: And this year we did it with Thanksgiving, and we did, we did the episode from Baltimore.
2:25
SPEAKER_01: We did.
2:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but well, that was that wasn't Thanksgiving Day.
2:27
SPEAKER_01: You're right.
2:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that was the next week.
2:29
SPEAKER_01: Um but yeah, I feel like we've been over the years, it's been a slow deconstruction process around what is expected of the holidays, of what tradition really is.
2:42
SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, Mike likes to say tradition is simply peer pressure from dead people.
2:48
SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, over the past few years, we've been Christmas Day has been changing.
2:53
SPEAKER_01: We went from the traditional, at first it started with something very simple was listening to Christmas music.
3:01
SPEAKER_01: Mike used to not allow Christmas music in the house until Thanksgiving Day.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: They uh sitting down the Thanksgiving day.
3:09
SPEAKER_01: Thanksgiving dinner, and it was the same soundtrack, Scottish Christmas, because that's every year.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: That's how it was supposed to be.
3:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it was it was actually a soundtrack from a a show that we had gone to see together back in Frederick, Maryland, back in probably 1990, 2000.
3:25
SPEAKER_01: Um, and we purchased a CD.
3:27
SPEAKER_00: So I still love it.
3:28
SPEAKER_01: Still love it, still great.
3:29
SPEAKER_01: Scottish Christmas, check it out.
3:31
SPEAKER_01: Um, and then it shifted from that to it was we we were we started listening to Christmas music early, and then it was the Christmas tree didn't go up, and Christmas decor didn't come up until Thanksgiving night.
3:44
SPEAKER_01: We started taking decor out.
3:46
SPEAKER_01: Thanksgiving weekend, the tree came out and I decorated.
3:48
SPEAKER_00: Right after Thanksgiving dinner, right?
3:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:50
SPEAKER_00: We would start taking Thanksgiving down and fall down, and I'd come down the basement while all the girls were upstairs taking everything down.
3:59
SPEAKER_00: I would come down the basement and start getting everything out.
4:01
SPEAKER_00: So it was like it was like robotic, it was traditional.
4:05
SPEAKER_00: It was the way you were supposed to do it.
4:07
SPEAKER_01: And then I think, and then the next iteration of that was uh Christmas dinner.
4:11
SPEAKER_01: It was ham, yeah, Thanksgiving with ham.
4:14
SPEAKER_01: Let's just leave it at that.
4:16
SPEAKER_00: We had and we had the we had a scripted Thanksgiving day with the same food every year because that's the way you're supposed to do it to do it.
4:24
SPEAKER_00: Then we had Christmas growing up when I was what excuse me, when I was a kid growing up, it we had Thanksgiving Day with ham instead of turkey.
4:34
SPEAKER_00: So I reconstructed that.
4:37
SPEAKER_01: Then one year we decided let's do something different.
4:40
SPEAKER_01: And we started having different dinners for Christmas Day.
4:43
SPEAKER_00: The first year was like tacos, tacos, yeah, or pasta.
4:45
SPEAKER_01: We went tacos, pasta, lasagna.
4:47
SPEAKER_01: We did it, we've done a few.
4:49
SPEAKER_01: Again, this has been progressive over the years.
4:51
SPEAKER_01: And now this year, however, it has been a just complete uh turnaround from what normal tradition has been.
5:00
SPEAKER_01: Um yeah.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: We didn't even have Thanksgiving dinner this year.
5:05
SPEAKER_00: We were in Baltimore and we had crab cakes on on Thanksgiving Day, but that was at lunch because we were going to the Ravens game that night, so we didn't even have Thanksgiving dinner.
5:14
SPEAKER_00: And frankly, I didn't the only thing I missed was making it because I love cooking it and I love preparing it.
5:19
SPEAKER_00: That's one of my favorite things to do.
5:21
SPEAKER_00: But I didn't miss Thanksgiving dinner.
5:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:23
SPEAKER_00: And and this year for Christmas, we're we're having the girls ask for grilled chicken, and they they do want the stuffing and the mashed potatoes from Thanksgiving.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: So they they miss that.
5:37
SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna have some Brussels sprouts with bacon and some butter because we we love that.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: But it's like we we redefine this year what Christmas dinner is for us, and we did something, we kind of got into a groove for a couple years.
5:50
SPEAKER_00: Well, Christmas dinner, we're gonna do something weird in terms of spaghetti and and um tacos, and we started doing these weird things or to us weird for Thanksgiving.
6:01
SPEAKER_00: And this year we're just going back to okay, let's go grab some foods that we didn't have on Thanksgiving and let's go enjoy those on Christmas Day.
6:08
SPEAKER_01: And the grilled chicken is because it's going to be 70 degrees here in St.
6:12
SPEAKER_01: Louis on Christmas Day, which is just insane.
6:15
SPEAKER_01: Swackadoodle.
6:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's not typical.
6:17
SPEAKER_00: Yep, it'll be global warming until it becomes global freezing.
6:23
SPEAKER_00: So, and you know, if you're I'm a child of the 70s, so I remember global freezing.
6:27
SPEAKER_00: And I remember everybody freaking out global freezing, global freezing.
6:31
SPEAKER_00: And then when it got warm, it was suddenly a big pivot in the switch.
6:34
SPEAKER_00: Then when it started, you know, there was global warming, and then when it got really cold again, it was like, okay, climate change.
6:40
SPEAKER_00: Now they got you across the board.
6:41
SPEAKER_00: They're just fear mongers waiting to make you scared so you do exactly what they want you to do, whoever they is, and if that makes sense.
6:50
SPEAKER_00: Whoever controls the fear controls the world.
6:53
SPEAKER_00: There we go.
6:54
SPEAKER_00: Yes, there's okay, there's my Christmas message.
6:56
SPEAKER_00: The point being is the same thing, it can be said with tradition.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: Tradition is just kind of like a what we've learned is tradition is just kind of like a control mechanism.
7:07
SPEAKER_00: And then so I say, when I remember one time I was at a speaking engagement and uh and we were in a room full of folks, and I said that I was I was like answering a question, and I said, tradition is just peer pressure from dead people, and you could feel the a gasp, a gasp in the room, because you know that's that's exactly what it is.
7:25
SPEAKER_00: But and that's why we started deconstructing that, saying, are we doing this?
7:29
SPEAKER_00: Are we doing these things because because we're inspired to do them, or is it from some sense of obligation?
7:35
SPEAKER_00: And I think what we found it was it was a mixture.
7:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:39
SPEAKER_00: So we put up the Christmas tree, but what we traditionally used to do is after Thanksgiving, put it up the day after Thanksgiving or or after Thanksgiving dinner.
7:50
SPEAKER_00: Now we put it up like way earlier.
7:53
SPEAKER_01: Well, now we put we put it up when it early in the season, but we then we have to we still enjoy our our daughters, Katie and Megan are 23 and 21 now.
8:02
SPEAKER_01: Katie does live back at home with us.
8:04
SPEAKER_01: Megan is still a uh lives on college campus.
8:07
SPEAKER_01: Um, but now it's okay, tree's up, and but I still want to decorate the tree with our daughters because that tree is theirs.
8:14
SPEAKER_01: It's a tree of their memories.
8:17
SPEAKER_01: It's all the things that they've made.
8:18
SPEAKER_01: Our tree isn't like this curated, beautiful rafflerin, uh Christian uh fancy ornament tree.
8:25
SPEAKER_01: It's it's literally a collection of their memories, our memories.
8:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
8:29
SPEAKER_01: Um, it's 27 years of memories.
8:32
SPEAKER_00: Um are you inspired to put up the tree or is it out of obligation?
8:36
SPEAKER_01: Well, putting the tree, I the tree I'm still inspired by.
8:40
SPEAKER_01: I do enjoy the tree.
8:41
SPEAKER_01: It was this year though, we had some hecticness.
8:44
SPEAKER_01: We literally had a three-hour time window having both girls home where we were able to decorate it.
8:49
SPEAKER_01: So it was just that that was a lot this year.
8:52
SPEAKER_01: Um but going back to like all the things you're supposed to do for the holidays, like we're supposed to be holly and jolly, and we're supposed to want to go to all the Christmas parties, and we're supposed to want to shop, and we're supposed to be excited about going and buying a fuck ton of shit and I and crap and junk.
9:11
SPEAKER_01: And that's what we're supposed to love to do.
9:14
SPEAKER_01: And I think my Christmas llama sweater, for and those of you who aren't watching, um, he's very apathetic and he is really disgraced.
9:23
SPEAKER_01: He's really he is vaped.
9:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he's actually really he looks really stoned.
9:27
SPEAKER_01: And the funny story is our daughter Megan bought this for a Christmas party in I think it was early middle school.
9:35
SPEAKER_01: We went to Walmart and she picked this one out.
9:37
SPEAKER_01: And I looked at it, I went, oh my gosh, that llama is stoned.
9:41
SPEAKER_01: Um, but she still worked to her holiday party, and this many years later, every all the girls in the in the family have worn llama sweater.
9:50
SPEAKER_00: Christmas llama.
9:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
9:52
SPEAKER_01: So uh, but but he I'm not baked, but he looked, he also looks very apathetic because that might that might be an emotion that comes up when you're baked, and he really conveys that emotion for me and how I felt this entire Christmas season.
10:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we enjoyed putting up the tree.
10:10
SPEAKER_00: I think we enjoyed that, and I'm I'm still inspired by by my by our tree.
10:14
SPEAKER_00: For the last three years, every year, Angie's thrown away more and more Christmas decorations and our our collection, and because we used to have like every surface had some something Christmassy on it, every wall had something Christmassy on it.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: It's like it's like Christmas threw up in our house.
10:31
SPEAKER_00: And every year, Angie uh at the end of the season throws away a little more stuff and we keep narrowing down.
10:37
SPEAKER_00: And this year is the the the least amount of decorations we even we ever put up.
10:41
SPEAKER_00: And there's a lot of things that we got to a point where we were like tying up the loose ends of putting together or putting putting all the Christmas decorations up.
10:51
SPEAKER_00: And I think Angie and I just got to a point where fuck it, we're not doing anymore.
10:55
SPEAKER_00: Like we were done.
10:56
SPEAKER_00: It was just that spirit that we normally have, that enthusiasm that we normally have to put all of our decorations out, it just wasn't there.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: For me, the tree, decorating the tree, watching the girls decorate the tree, the spirit was still there, but it's pretty much the spirit of Christmas for me.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: You can speak for yourself, but the spirit of Christmas for me just hasn't been the same as it as it always was.
11:25
SPEAKER_00: Right.
11:25
SPEAKER_00: And and you can speak to that for yourself, but for me, that's been that's been not a challenge, but it's been an opportunity of growth for me because I always tried to force myself to feel Christmassy.
11:42
SPEAKER_00: I always tried to force myself to feel in the season.
11:46
SPEAKER_00: And this this season, it's like Angie and I, we've had conversations.
11:51
SPEAKER_00: Should we be going out to do things to try to capture that feeling of the Christmas season?
11:57
SPEAKER_00: And we're like, no, I'm just not feeling it.
12:00
SPEAKER_01: We don't want to.
12:01
SPEAKER_01: Like we have, and and I think for me, it's been same, and it's just been a season of, and I've been in this space for a few months now, probably most of this year.
12:13
SPEAKER_01: It's just been a season of just stillness and yeah, just stillness.
12:18
SPEAKER_01: Like we have our daily routines that just it's simple.
12:22
SPEAKER_01: Like we we get up, we do our work, we have the same place we go every evening after we're kind of just shutting down for the day.
12:30
SPEAKER_01: We go out and grab a bite and hang out with some you with some friends that we've we've met.
12:34
SPEAKER_01: And it's like every single day, like that's what we do.
12:36
SPEAKER_01: And that's really all I've been inspired to do.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's the word.
12:42
SPEAKER_00: That's all you've been inspired to do.
12:44
SPEAKER_01: And there have been a couple days where I'm like, yeah, no, let's just stay in home.
12:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but but it's like we and we talked about this last week.
12:51
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we live in St.
12:52
SPEAKER_01: Louis right outside of St.
12:53
SPEAKER_01: Louis, Missouri, and there are some amazing things to do in St.
12:55
SPEAKER_01: Louis.
12:55
SPEAKER_01: There's the Garden Glow, there's Grants Farm, there's uh Anne Heisberg Busch, and we were talking about this last week.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: They take the whole brewery, the the first A B brewery, and they they decorate it with lights everywhere, and it's wonderful.
13:11
SPEAKER_01: And it's beautiful.
13:11
SPEAKER_01: You get to see the Clydesdales, but we neither of us have we talked about it, but it's like, do we want to go?
13:18
SPEAKER_01: And eh, no, we really don't.
13:20
SPEAKER_01: So we we haven't we we haven't been doing it and eat down even with the gifts.
13:26
SPEAKER_01: The girls, like I used to go crazy with gifts.
13:30
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
13:32
SPEAKER_00: Crazy with gifts.
13:33
SPEAKER_00: And and in the past, I because I have uh I I have been at points in the past where I was I was trying, I didn't feel Christmassy as Christmassy as as I as I did when I was a kid and when we got together.
13:51
SPEAKER_00: I didn't feel as Christmassy, and I literally tried to force it, and I tried to make that feeling show up.
13:58
SPEAKER_00: And and and by making it show up, by forcing it, it it did kinda.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: But this year, I think the the the growth was uh there was no force.
14:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's just like let it go.
14:10
SPEAKER_00: If if we're not feeling it, let's not try to feel it.
14:13
SPEAKER_00: If we're if we're feeling like we can want to continue our routine that we we exercised and demonstrated before Thanksgiving, before Christmas and after Thanksgiving and after Christmas, if we want to do that same routine, let's do it through Christmas.
14:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and and I yes, that and what one of the biggest growth moments for me this year is that I would even just last year, Christmas Eve, I would be in panic mode, concerned that I'm going to disappoint the girls, they're not gonna get enough gifts, um, I'm gonna let someone down.
14:49
SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna get someone something that they wanted.
14:52
SPEAKER_01: Um, and I would have myself in an emotional wreck.
14:56
SPEAKER_01: And I don't, this is the first year, and I haven't felt, I mean, I've had little glimmers of it, but that came when we were there was one time we were at the mall, and I said we were at uh we weren't going to get your new sambas and we were at West County, and I saw there was this mom and dad, and they were talking about what they were getting for their kids.
15:14
SPEAKER_01: And I said, Okay, I'm starting to have the gift, but gift guilt.
15:18
SPEAKER_01: I don't think we've ever called anybody.
15:20
SPEAKER_00: But I don't think we've ever called it.
15:22
SPEAKER_01: No, I said I said present anxiety.
15:24
SPEAKER_01: There you go.
15:24
SPEAKER_01: I said present anxiety, and I like gift guilt.
15:27
SPEAKER_01: Gift guilt is good to know.
15:28
SPEAKER_01: They're they're they're both good, gift guilt, and present anxiety.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: But and I I said it out loud to Mike, and I was like, okay, I'm pulling myself back, pulling myself back.
15:35
SPEAKER_01: So I've had to pull myself out of it a couple of times, but for the most part, like right now, I'm sitting in total calmness.
15:42
SPEAKER_01: I haven't wrapped a single gift yet, and because there aren't that many, I'm like, I can do it later.
15:48
SPEAKER_00: I I would say I would say that in in the past we had a checklist of what Christmas is.
15:56
SPEAKER_00: And for me, that checklist also included watching all of my favorite Christmas movies and kind of forcing all of my favorite Christmas movies and in at times binging them because I was running out of time, and I wanted to make sure I was checking all the boxes of what I was supposed to do at Christmas.
16:18
SPEAKER_00: And this year I haven't watched one Christmas movie, and the only one that I'm inspired, I'm I'm gonna watch it today.
16:25
SPEAKER_00: You know what that is?
16:26
SPEAKER_01: I sure do.
16:26
SPEAKER_01: Which one?
16:27
SPEAKER_01: It's the Charlie Brown Christmas.
16:32
SPEAKER_00: That movie, and I love all of them, but that's the only one that I'm inspired to watch right now, and I'm I'm excited to watch it, but I'm not excited to watch the others.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: I love them though.
16:41
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean it doesn't mean I have lost my love of them.
16:44
SPEAKER_01: It means that I I haven't felt the need to check that box each other but okay, but also who said that you can only watch Christmas movies at this time of year?
16:53
SPEAKER_01: Like, why can't you watch the Polar Express and the Deadass of Summer?
16:57
SPEAKER_01: Like, who taught who decided?
16:59
SPEAKER_00: That's a good point.
17:00
SPEAKER_00: It there is there is an element that I am usually excited and inspired to listen to Christmas music, and usually the day after Christmas, I don't want any more Christmas music in my life.
17:15
SPEAKER_00: Right.
17:16
SPEAKER_00: And I I think I feel that way about a lot of things at Christmas.
17:19
SPEAKER_00: It's like I I I have so much of it during the season, it's the day after.
17:24
SPEAKER_00: It not that I would want to tear all the we had a neighboring Oregon that it would get a real tree.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: And literally Christmas night, the the tree was on the side.
17:37
SPEAKER_01: We used to laugh so hard.
17:39
SPEAKER_01: We would we would look out our window, we would watch Mindy, and and we're still great friends with with the Denver.
17:44
SPEAKER_01: He's got family here in Missouri.
17:46
SPEAKER_01: He'll come by and see the family periodically.
17:48
SPEAKER_01: So we love you.
17:50
SPEAKER_01: We love you, Mindy.
17:51
SPEAKER_01: We would watch her.
17:52
SPEAKER_01: She would drag that tree out.
17:53
SPEAKER_01: You could just tell she was done.
17:55
SPEAKER_00: She was so done.
17:59
SPEAKER_00: Watching watching them tear down Christmas so fast.
18:03
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm not in, I don't have that much urgency of getting rid of Christmas and getting done with the season.
18:08
SPEAKER_00: But the point is, is when I'm done, I'm I'm done.
18:12
SPEAKER_00: It's just when it didn't turn on, I felt it it should have.
18:17
SPEAKER_01: Well, it's gonna be interesting because in past years, for gosh, I can't, I don't even know how long, it's kind of been like our tradition that the tree comes down the weekend before Super Bowl.
18:29
SPEAKER_00: Right.
18:30
SPEAKER_01: It's always been the weekend before Super Bowl.
18:32
SPEAKER_01: So I'm curious to see how that ends up this year.
18:35
SPEAKER_00: If we we might leave it up to August, we might take it down like tomorrow, who knows?
18:40
SPEAKER_00: Or the day after Christmas.
18:43
SPEAKER_01: We'll see how that goes.
18:43
SPEAKER_01: I mean, with 70-degree weather, we may as well just take it all down.
18:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I again it uh just it's this it's this series the way we've lived life and and the way we were taught, and now me and you put a lot of our own traditions together.
18:58
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
18:58
SPEAKER_00: So, but I brought a lot of my childhood traditions, and I know you didn't have a traditional childhood, so you didn't have a lot of traditions, but I do remember when we first got together, especially when we moved out to Oregon, because that's where we spent our real family's first Christmas together.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: Uh when when we moved out there, you were literally trying to force it.
19:18
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I was trying to force traditions.
19:20
SPEAKER_01: I was trying to, I would make, yeah, I absolutely I was looking for something, anything to make mine, make ours, because I did grow up with no traditions.
19:29
SPEAKER_01: And really, um yeah, yeah.
19:33
SPEAKER_01: And I I think a whole other episode could be the the expectations that we place on ourselves for others, and then the response we expect to receive from others for the expectations we put on ourselves.
19:46
SPEAKER_00: That's all that's all the the the expectation pretzel, right?
19:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, oh yeah.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: But but the I think the the point there is when we didn't But I did it both, is what I'm saying.
19:56
SPEAKER_01: Is like I was forcing traditions, I was trying to make up for my loss.
20:00
SPEAKER_01: Childhood.
20:00
SPEAKER_01: I was overbuying gifts for my children.
20:02
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'll have to go back and repost these pictures on Facebook sometimes.
20:06
SPEAKER_01: But I mean, our living room was so filled with gifts.
20:11
SPEAKER_01: Like it would take them all day to open their gifts.
20:13
SPEAKER_01: And I this is not an exaggeration.
20:15
SPEAKER_00: It was slow.
20:16
SPEAKER_00: It was slow, but literally there were times that when it was, it was almost their bedtime when they were a kid, eight, nine o'clock at night, and they were opening gifts.
20:24
SPEAKER_01: And we would make them go slow and then we would make them take breaks.
20:27
SPEAKER_00: Because that's what that's what we wanted, and that's what served our purpose.
20:31
SPEAKER_00: And there's I don't want to give the impression that there's anything wrong with tradition.
20:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
20:36
SPEAKER_00: I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
20:38
SPEAKER_00: There's there's this isn't a knock on tradition.
20:42
SPEAKER_00: We're still having our cinnamon rolls tomorrow morning, which was one of the traditions that I we we didn't even, we didn't even like force that.
20:49
SPEAKER_00: No.
20:49
SPEAKER_00: So I was at the grocery store.
20:51
SPEAKER_00: I I love buying groceries.
20:52
SPEAKER_00: I love the grocery store the day before Christmas and I love them all and I love being in that atmosphere.
20:57
SPEAKER_00: I just love being in that energy.
20:58
SPEAKER_00: That is that is where I feel a little spark of the holidays.
21:02
SPEAKER_00: But uh when I was at the grocery store, that wasn't on the radar to get cinnamon, cinnamon rolls.
21:08
SPEAKER_00: And the girls, Angie texted me and said, Hey, the girls asked for cinnamon rolls.
21:13
SPEAKER_01: Well, I it in all fairness, so I just I was thinking breakfast and I yelled up.
21:17
SPEAKER_01: I said, Hey girls, do you are you gonna have jacks?
21:19
SPEAKER_01: They've been going to Jack in the Box the past few years for breakfast.
21:22
SPEAKER_01: So I said, Girls, are you gonna do Jack in the Box tomorrow or do you want cinnamon rolls?
21:25
SPEAKER_01: And they both said, cinnamon rolls.
21:27
SPEAKER_00: So and then they did the same thing last year, and then they'll go to Jack in the Box anyway.
21:31
SPEAKER_00: So so let's not you know, let's there still might be Jack in the Boxes.
21:35
SPEAKER_00: There will be because Katie likes her double sausage sandwich on on Christmas Day.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: But uh there's nothing wrong with tradition.
21:42
SPEAKER_00: We're not trying to give that uh give that air.
21:45
SPEAKER_00: We're not trying to, we're not trying to create that in as a belief or as a structure.
21:51
SPEAKER_00: What what we're talking about is the forcing of tradition when it's not inspired.
21:57
SPEAKER_01: It's are you inspired to do something or are you doing it out of obligation?
22:02
SPEAKER_00: And then it associating a feeling with a season and thinking there's something wrong when that feeling of that season that we've assigned to the season when it doesn't show up, it's forcing that feeling.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: And it's learning how not for us, learning how not to have a checklist, or if we do have a checklist, not needing to check it all off and not needing to force something that's not ready to be present.
22:33
SPEAKER_01: Yep, and being okay with I think just in the internal feeling, the emotions, being okay with it.
22:39
SPEAKER_01: I mean, who knows?
22:40
SPEAKER_01: Next year we might be the jolliest assholes, this side of the nut, whatever the phrase is, you know.
22:46
SPEAKER_01: But for this year, I'm just ba humbug.
22:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm just yeah, and for years, I'll I'll talk, I'll take it back to Angie didn't have a child, a traditional childhood.
22:57
SPEAKER_00: They didn't have Christmases like this, they didn't have a steady home where you decorate.
23:02
SPEAKER_01: We were lucky if we had a home.
23:03
SPEAKER_00: You'd be lucky if you had food.
23:06
SPEAKER_00: But they they didn't have a traditional childhood, they didn't have a traditional Christmas, they didn't have routines and they didn't have things like this.
23:13
SPEAKER_00: So Angie tried to force these things.
23:16
SPEAKER_00: And one thing I remember, and and maybe we can talk about this and and and close it out in case you know this shows up for anybody else on Christmas Day, um, if you if you practice Christmas Day, but uh I remember the expectation for you for the number of gifts, for the amount of gifts, for what I gave you, it was extraordinarily high and it could never be satisfied.
23:40
SPEAKER_00: I remember trying to just have a certain number, uh, a big number, because that's what you did for the girls, is you wanted them, you focused a lot on the number of gifts they had, not always the quality of the girls.
23:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was quite it was 100% quantity of requirements.
23:55
SPEAKER_01: And I did it to you too.
23:56
SPEAKER_01: Like I would buy you.
23:57
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, for sure.
23:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for sure.
23:58
SPEAKER_01: And I think that that wasn't that was definitely it, there was an unspoken expectation there in me that of expecting reciprocity, right?
24:08
SPEAKER_01: But that was you, you I didn't give you a list or anything.
24:15
SPEAKER_01: You were just, I think you were some, you were just trying to like match my unspoken expectation.
24:20
SPEAKER_01: For sure.
24:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
24:20
SPEAKER_00: For sure.
24:21
SPEAKER_00: I I was I literally spent from you know before Thanksgiving till Christmas Day uh worrying and obsessing and trying to find trying to find stuff to buy because you never I there was no list in there.
24:34
SPEAKER_00: You didn't talk about it.
24:36
SPEAKER_00: And I tried to, I I tried to anticipate and and it was a moving target.
24:39
SPEAKER_00: There was I was never gonna hit it.
24:41
SPEAKER_00: And uh and and we gave the and I never cared one bit if I ever got anything on Christmas Day ever, because this goes back to the love languages too.
24:50
SPEAKER_00: And I was gonna say I was gonna tie that in.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: Go ahead.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: We don't have to, we don't have to get here, but or we don't have to talk about the love languages today, but go ahead and tie it in.
24:57
SPEAKER_01: No, because you know, I gift giving gift giving gives you, I mean, per purchasing gifts.
25:03
SPEAKER_01: And for me too, like the reality is I am I get anxious around going and trying to find the right gift and making sure, you know, trying to make match, find out, you know, get others' expectations met.
25:16
SPEAKER_01: And like there's just a lot of anxiety around that.
25:19
SPEAKER_01: And then here we're trying to force the other person to meet something that gives them gives them anxiety.
25:26
SPEAKER_01: And I that's not that's not love.
25:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well the the the love the the time go ahead, say anything.
25:30
SPEAKER_01: No, so like I I would rather give someone a gift that is that involves quality time because that's one of my love lengths, right?
25:39
SPEAKER_01: And you know, so for years, and I just did this with one of my best friends, like she's an extravagant gift giver for birthdays and holidays and everything.
25:47
SPEAKER_01: And this year I was finally like, her birthday came around, and I was like, oh my gosh, what am I gonna get, Alexis?
25:53
SPEAKER_01: Like, she always gives these great extravagant gifts.
25:56
SPEAKER_01: And I stopped myself and I said, No, we're gonna do an experience together because that's what what I enjoy.
26:02
SPEAKER_01: And that's not me, me, but we had that conversation.
26:05
SPEAKER_01: I explained to her how buying the perfect gift caused me so much strife and how this is what I love to do, and this is how I like to show my love and show my appreciation.
26:16
SPEAKER_01: And it was like, oh, cool.
26:17
SPEAKER_01: And when you when you convey that, so when you actually articulate that to others saying, hey, I don't want to put any undue stress and anxiety on you.
26:24
SPEAKER_01: I love you, right?
26:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I think that's important.
26:26
SPEAKER_00: We could do a we've tal we've talked about the love languages on.
26:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, maybe one day we will.
26:34
SPEAKER_00: And I was just having a conversation with somebody last weekend about this.
26:36
SPEAKER_00: I said, the love languages are awesome to understand, but the way they're taught is often opposite of what creates joy.
26:46
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
26:47
SPEAKER_00: Where people think that that you get to know the other person's love language, and then you force yourself to do those things so that they can feel love.
26:57
SPEAKER_00: Where the love language is when used in a in a healthy and appropriate way, is you you know the love languages and you know people's love language and you receive the love that they're giving when they give you their love language.
27:14
SPEAKER_00: So where quality time, when Angie gives me quality time, that's her way of showing me love.
27:20
SPEAKER_00: When I make breakfast, when I cook, when I clean, when clean up after after dinner, I'm an acts of service guy.
27:27
SPEAKER_00: So that is the way I show love to my family.
27:31
SPEAKER_00: So it and and it's just it just happens to be that my three girls aren't food driven, they're not, they're they're not dinner driven, they're not meal time driven.
27:40
SPEAKER_01: No, but I'm clean the stove driven.
27:44
SPEAKER_00: But that's the way I give love.
27:46
SPEAKER_00: And if someone knows the love languages, they they'll identify my love language and they'll receive the love that I'm giving them when I give it.
27:56
SPEAKER_01: And that's why each maybe that's our Valentine's Day episode this year.
28:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there you go.
28:02
SPEAKER_01: He are too, he he's much more um articulate about that because I just get pissed off about they piss me off so much.
28:11
SPEAKER_01: Um but yeah, that would be a fun conversation to have with my yeah, with your your smoothness and my fire.
28:18
SPEAKER_00: Here it comes.
28:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I don't know if I'll get a whole lot of smoothness out of that one.
28:22
SPEAKER_00: They'll just you just keep cutting me off.
28:24
SPEAKER_00: You get I'm talking about because you're fired up.
28:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm talking in a good way.
28:28
SPEAKER_01: Now you know what you know.
28:29
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm talking about in a good way.
28:31
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna get I'm gonna stoke the fire and get y'all fired up so that you just talked the whole time.
28:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but but it just I think just just to just to to come back to what we're talking about.
28:40
SPEAKER_01: It's it's not forcing these these things that we're taught you're supposed to do.
28:46
SPEAKER_01: And we talk about that so much, and we're just we're living that right now, and we're we're we're feeling it, we're experiencing.
28:53
SPEAKER_01: We talk on a daily basis.
28:55
SPEAKER_01: And you know, I'll say to I'll say to Mike, I'm just not and it's not depression.
29:01
SPEAKER_01: No, it's not no apathy, it's not apathy, it's not depression, it's just it's neutrality, and just it's a and it's a peaceful neutrality.
29:11
SPEAKER_00: It's not contentedness, yeah, yeah.
29:14
SPEAKER_01: And it's it's really cool.
29:16
SPEAKER_00: Me too.
29:17
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
29:18
SPEAKER_00: We just enjoy spending time together, and it doesn't matter if it's Christmas time or not.
29:22
SPEAKER_01: It's pretty gross.
29:23
SPEAKER_01: We spend a lot of time together.
29:24
SPEAKER_00: We spend a lot of time together, and happily, and then sometimes when we're when we like when we go separate ways for 10 minutes, it's like we're gonna miss you.
29:33
SPEAKER_01: Oh no, I remember you all I sometimes all I want is some free time in the house to watch watch my trash television shows.
29:40
SPEAKER_01: And this man doesn't leave the house, he doesn't go anywhere unless it's together.
29:44
SPEAKER_01: It's true.
29:44
SPEAKER_01: And I'm just like, oh my god, please go somewhere for a couple hours.
29:47
SPEAKER_01: And he actually did not go.
29:49
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I miss you.
29:51
SPEAKER_01: Well, I go to the grocery store, but you know that's not time for me to like draw along thicker lives of Mormon Wives episode.
29:57
SPEAKER_00: To bring it to a close, guys, this Christmas season has been extremely different, not challenging, but extremely different for us.
30:07
SPEAKER_00: And this Christmas season has all been about allowing the season to be what it is and to allow us to be what we are within the season.
30:17
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
30:17
SPEAKER_00: Knowing that wherever we are, whatever we feel, however we experience the season is perfect, even if it's not the same as we normally feel.
30:29
SPEAKER_00: Because as we evolve, how we engage with life is constantly evolving too.
30:35
SPEAKER_00: And we're not the same people that we were a couple years ago.
30:38
SPEAKER_00: So why would we expect anything in any given season that's changing to stay the same?
30:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
30:44
SPEAKER_00: Sum it up.
30:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
30:45
SPEAKER_00: Is that good?
30:46
SPEAKER_01: No, that, and I think that we've it's it's allowed us also to recognize another level of growth that we've experienced.
30:52
SPEAKER_01: So it's really cool.
30:53
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, Merry Christmas to all who celebrate.
30:55
SPEAKER_01: Happy everything, happy holidays, merry everything.
30:59
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for watching, thanks for listening, thanks for following along.
31:03
SPEAKER_00: This is um it's we're nearing the end of 2025.
31:08
SPEAKER_00: So we'll have another episode next week.
31:11
SPEAKER_00: Uh, but I think that's what is that?
31:13
SPEAKER_00: Is that closing out?
31:14
SPEAKER_01: Is that yeah, that'll be that that the next episode will drop on New Year's Eve.
31:17
SPEAKER_00: New Year's or New Year's Eve or New Year's, you know what?
31:20
SPEAKER_00: Is it gonna drop?
31:21
SPEAKER_00: Is is New Year's Day on Thursday?
31:23
SPEAKER_00: Because if Christmas Day is on Thursday, then isn't New Year's Day usually Thursday?
31:27
SPEAKER_01: No, I think it's when oh maybe, yeah.
31:29
SPEAKER_00: You might so we don't know, we don't know what any of that looks like, but uh we it'll drop next Thursday.
31:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, next Thursday, whatever it is.
31:39
SPEAKER_00: That's all we know.
31:40
SPEAKER_00: Um, could be the last episode of this year, could be a teaser for the last episode, who knows?
31:45
SPEAKER_00: But anyway, it's all perfect.
31:47
SPEAKER_00: Love you guys.
31:48
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for if it is the last episode of the year, thanks for spending this year with us.
31:52
SPEAKER_00: We we hit the podcast together more this year than we've got.
31:55
SPEAKER_00: We did, and it's been a lot of fun.
31:56
SPEAKER_00: It has been a lot of fun, and we're always looking for ways to to kind of get more involved together in this podcast.
32:02
SPEAKER_00: But Angie's gotta learn to kind of use her words a little bit more without being edge on by me.
32:09
SPEAKER_00: All right.
32:10
SPEAKER_00: Love you guys.
32:11
SPEAKER_00: Have a great holiday season, no matter where you are, no matter who you are, and no matter what you celebrate.
32:20
SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed what you heard and you want to learn more, go to www.innerwealthglobal.com for more tools and resources.