Latest / Reformed Thinking / Learn to Fly in the Fellowship
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to Reformed Thinking, the deep dive designed to
- 0:02sharpen your perspective. Today we're taking a look into
- 0:06some really thought provoking sources.
- 0:09They challenge how we might normally think about Christian
- 0:12relationships and specifically the huge part listening plays.
- 0:16We're mainly drawing from David Mathis's Habits of Grace and
- 0:20also insights from Bon Hoefer. Both kind of paint this picture
- 0:24of what real Christian fellowship can look like.
- 0:26Yes, that's right. And we'll be digging into this
- 0:28New Testament idea, quinonia. It's a Greek word that, you
- 0:32know, carries so much more weight than how we usually use
- 0:34fellowship today. Our goal here is to kind of
- 0:37unpack its electric reality, as Mathis calls it, see how it
- 0:40functions. Is this, well, vital way God
- 0:42gives his grace? And crucially, how listening,
- 0:45something we maybe don't think about enough, is right at the
- 0:48center of it all. This isn't about, you know, just
- 0:49showing up for coffee hour. It's described almost as a life
- 0:52and death group effort all centered on Christ.
- 0:54We want to show you how these concepts really affect your own
- 0:57spiritual life, your vitality, and how you live within the
- 0:59Church, the body of believers. OK, so let's start unpacking
- 1:02that. The sources seem to say our
- 1:05modern idea of fellowship. It's maybe lost its edge a bit.
- 1:08Maybe watered down, like when we hear the word.
- 1:11Maybe we picture pizza nights. Or as one source puts it, a
- 1:15common love for pizza pop and a nice clean evening of fun among
- 1:19the fellow certified. But what's the actual biblical
- 1:23idea here? Why are these writers pushing us
- 1:25to see past that casual picture? It's really fascinating,
- 1:28actually. They pull us right back to that
- 1:29Greek word quinonia. And it's not about just liking
- 1:33the same thing superficially. It signals A commonality, yes,
- 1:36but also partnership, shared mission.
- 1:39For the first Christians, the core of it was, and I'm quoting
- 1:41here, their common Christ and their common life or death
- 1:44mission together in his summons to take the faith worldwide in
- 1:47the face of impending persecution.
- 1:49Just hearing that definition, you can immediately sense how
- 1:51different it is from just a casual get together.
- 1:53It's serious. It's purposeful.
- 1:54Right, so definitely not just, you know, comfortable chats with
- 1:58snacks and drinks. The sources used some really
- 2:01strong images to make this distinction clear.
- 2:03Don't they? They say it's not shummy hobnob
- 2:06with apps and drinks in a game on the Tube that really hits
- 2:09home, differentiating it from just regular friendships.
- 2:12Could you maybe flesh out those comparisons?
- 2:14They use the ones that set Koinonia apart so vividly.
- 2:18They really do use powerful pictures.
- 2:20They say. True fellowship is less like
- 2:22friends gathered to watch the Super Bowl and more like players
- 2:25on the field in blood, sweat and tears, huddled in the backfield
- 2:28only in preparation for the next down.
- 2:32You feel the grit in that right? The shared effort, the struggle,
- 2:35the focus on the next play, not just passive enjoyment.
- 2:38Yeah, definitely. It's active, not passive.
- 2:41Exactly. And another one that's really
- 2:42striking, it's more the invading troops side by side on the beach
- 2:47at Normandy than it is the gleeful revelers in the street
- 2:50on V Day. I mean, think about that,
- 2:53contrast Normandy versus VE Day. One is about the ongoing battle,
- 2:57the shared danger, the absolute reliance on each other.
- 3:00The other is the celebration after the fight.
- 3:03These images highlight an all in life or death collective venture
- 3:07in the face of great evil and overwhelming opposition.
- 3:10It's not some casual club you dip in and out of.
- 3:13It implies this deep binding connection needed for a really
- 3:16serious ongoing task. It requires everyone being
- 3:19engaged, looking out for each other, moving forward together.
- 3:22That's a world away from just liking the same church
- 3:25activities. It makes you think the
- 3:27foundation for that kind of collective effort must be
- 3:29incredibly solid. Where does that deep connection
- 3:32come from, according to the sources?
- 3:33Is it just that people agreed on things or is there something
- 3:36more defined behind it? Oh it's absolutely presented as
- 3:38divine and origin. The sources pointed back to Acts
- 3:41like Acts one point 1.4 and 2.42 where the first Christians
- 3:45devoted themselves to fellowship right alongside the word.
- 3:47The apostles teaching in prayer. That grouping tells you
- 3:51something. Fellowship wasn't just a social
- 3:53add on, it was a core spiritual practice and his foundation was
- 3:57primarily in Jesus, as First Corinthians 1.9 says, and in his
- 4:01spirit mentioned in 2nd Corinthians 13.12.
- 4:04It wasn't based on human compatibility alone.
- 4:06So it's Christ centered in spirit enabled fellowship.
- 4:09Precisely through Christ, they became fellow heirs of the
- 4:12divine inheritance. You see that Romans 8IN
- 4:14Ephesians 3, they even remarkably shared all things in
- 4:17common, as Acts 2 and 4 described.
- 4:19Think about that level of sharing.
- 4:21And it broke down huge social barriers.
- 4:23Jew and Gentile became fellow citizens, as Ephesians 2 puts
- 4:26it. The point is, the gospel itself
- 4:28creates community like no other. It's a spiritual reality brought
- 4:31about by God's work, not just human effort or shared
- 4:34interests. God makes the bond.
- 4:36OK, so if it's this deep, divinely created partnership
- 4:40grounded in Christ and the Spirit, what does that actually
- 4:44mean for us? It's clearly more than just
- 4:46hanging out. It sounds like there's a real
- 4:48objective, a purpose to this partnership.
- 4:50What is that shared aim that binds people together in this
- 4:54unique Koinonia? That's a great question and the
- 4:57sources are very direct about it.
- 4:58The aim is explicitly a partnership in the gospel, as
- 5:01Philippians 1.5 puts it. It's not fellowship for
- 5:04fellowship's sake. Believers are described as
- 5:06giving their everything to advance the gospel, like Paul
- 5:09says in Philippians 1.12. They're knit together for the
- 5:11progress and joy in the faith of others, as verse coming 5 says.
- 5:15And Paul considers them partakers with me of grace in
- 5:18the defense and confirmation of the gospel in verse seven.
- 5:20So the fellowship itself is a vehicle, a means to an end, and
- 5:24that end is spreading and upholding the good news about
- 5:26Jesus. It fuels the mission.
- 5:28And it's not meant to be turned inward, right?
- 5:31Like some exclusive holy huddle, the sources talk about an
- 5:34outward focus and even use this really strong phrase, the final
- 5:38apologetic. That sounds significant.
- 5:40What does that mean? How does this Koinonia relate to
- 5:42people outside the Christian faith?
- 5:44What is this final apologetic? Yeah, that's a critical point
- 5:48they make. This fellowship is no isolated
- 5:50commune or static mutual admiration society.
- 5:54It's inherently outward looking. In fact, real fellowship will do
- 5:57precisely the opposite of forgetting the lost.
- 6:00It must, Mathis insists, it laborers to win the lost.
- 6:04The idea is profound. The medium of our relationship
- 6:07is the message of salvation, how believers treat each other
- 6:09because a living demonstration of the Gospels reality.
- 6:12So the way Christians love each other actually communicates the
- 6:15message. Exactly when the fellowship is
- 6:17genuine, the depth of affection isn't a sign of being cliquey or
- 6:21inward looking. Instead, it becomes the ultimate
- 6:24proof, the final apologetic. Jesus himself said it in John
- 6:2713.35. By this all people will know
- 6:30that you are my disciples if you have love for one another.
- 6:34Usually when we talk apologetics, we mean giving
- 6:36reason defenses for our faith, like logical arguments,
- 6:39evidence. Right.
- 6:40Defending the faith intellectually.
- 6:42But the sources point to this final apologetic as something
- 6:45perhaps even weightier. It's the undeniable, visible
- 6:49evidence of Christ's life changing work seen in the love
- 6:52within the community. That observable affection, that
- 6:54mutual care, that unity across differences.
- 6:57That's what ultimately shows the world that Christ is real and
- 6:59that his gospel changes lives. It's the proof.
- 7:02Wow, that really elevates the stakes for how we relate to each
- 7:05other within the church. And it gets even more intense
- 7:07because the sources also say this fellowship serves to keep
- 7:10fellow Saints saved. That sounds huge, like our
- 7:14relationships are actually part of God's plan to preserve our
- 7:17faith. How does that work?
- 7:19How can a community play such a vital role in someone's
- 7:22individual salvation? It is a weighty concept, and it
- 7:26ties into this idea of fellowship as a means of grace.
- 7:30In Reformed thinking, we understand that God uses certain
- 7:33ordinary, appointed ways to deliver his grace to us.
- 7:36Things like His Word being preached, the sacraments,
- 7:39prayer, and crucially, the active life of the Church
- 7:42community. It's not that the community
- 7:44earns grace, but God sovereignly works through the interactions,
- 7:47the encouragement, the correction within the body to
- 7:49sustain his people. The sources highlight two key
- 7:52passages in Hebrews. They call them the twin texts of
- 7:54Christian fellowship that show we're not meant to try to access
- 7:57grace as isolated individuals. God uses the community, his
- 8:01people, to keep each other from drifting away.
- 8:03It's a corporate safety net woven by God himself.
- 8:06OK, let's look at those two texts from Hebrews.
- 8:08The first one you mentioned is Hebrews 10.2425.
- 8:12It talks about stirring up one another to love and good works.
- 8:15What does that look like practically?
- 8:17How do we actually stir someone up in that way?
- 8:19That sounds pretty active. It is active, Hebrews 10.2425
- 8:23says let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good
- 8:26works, not neglecting to meet together as is the habit of
- 8:30some, but encouraging one another.
- 8:32And all the more as you see the day drawing near the really
- 8:36striking instruction there is. Consider how it implies sought
- 8:39intentionality. It means we need to look past
- 8:42your own nose to the needs of others.
- 8:43When we gather, it's not just about showing up, it's about
- 8:46engaging with specific people. The sources unpack it like this.
- 8:50Know each other, get close, stay close, go deep, and then
- 8:53consider particular persons and interact with them such that you
- 8:56exhort and inspire them to love and good deeds specifically
- 8:59fitting to their mix. So it's personalized
- 9:01encouragement, not generic platitudes.
- 9:03Exactly. It requires knowing someone well
- 9:05enough to know what specific encouragement or challenge they
- 9:08might need at that moment. This is how fellowship becomes
- 9:11this potent and personal means of grace.
- 9:15Think about it. A brother or a sister who knows
- 9:17you, really knows you, speaks the truth and love.
- 9:20Like Ephesians 4.15 says, they give you a word that's good for
- 9:24building up as fits the occasion, that it may give grace
- 9:27to those who hear. Quoting Ephesians 4.29 that
- 9:30specific, timely word from someone who cares, That's an
- 9:33inestimable grace. The sources call it a priceless
- 9:36gift God gives through others. It shows we need each other.
- 9:40That makes sense. And the second twin text,
- 9:42Hebrews 3.1213, sounds even more serious.
- 9:45It talks about daily exhortation to prevent being hardened by
- 9:47sins. Deceitfulness.
- 9:49How does the community handle that responsibility, especially
- 9:51if someone is maybe unaware they're drifting?
- 9:53That sounds like a delicate but vital task.
- 9:56It is delicate and incredibly vital.
- 9:58Hebrews 3.1213 warns, Take care, brothers, lest there be in any
- 10:03of you an evil, unbelieving heart leading you to fall away
- 10:07from the living God. But exhort one another every day
- 10:10that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
- 10:14Now notice where the responsibility lies.
- 10:16The sources point out that the primary charge here lands not on
- 10:19the drifting St. to get himself back on the path, but on the
- 10:22others in the community. That's interesting.
- 10:24The community is responsible for the exhortation.
- 10:27Yes, it implies the community needs enough proximity to him,
- 10:30awareness of him, and regularity with him to spot the drift.
- 10:35And not just spot it, but to war with him for him against the
- 10:38sin. That strong language warring for
- 10:41someone against sin? It's presented as the body's
- 10:44role to take up discipline on behalf of the wanderer, to
- 10:47mediate grace to the struggler, to preempt apostasy by putting
- 10:51words of truth and grace into his open ear hole and praying
- 10:54for the Spirit to make them live.
- 10:56It's this picture of active, vigilant corporate care.
- 11:00It's about safeguarding each other's faith, recognizing how
- 11:03sneaky and hardening sin can be, and knowing we can't fight it
- 11:06alone. That idea of the community
- 11:08actively spotting drift and intervening?
- 11:10That's powerful. The sources also call this
- 11:12function a glorious backstop of grace.
- 11:15Can you unpack that image? What does it mean for us when
- 11:17we're really struggling? Maybe feeling distant from God,
- 11:19low on spiritual energy? How does this backstop work?
- 11:22That backstop image really captures how God uses community
- 11:26in our weakest moments. It asks, how does God step in
- 11:30when we can't seem to reach Him? The sources suggest fellowship
- 11:33may save your life in the dark night of your soul.
- 11:37Think about those times when your own desire to avail
- 11:40yourself of hearing His voice and the Word has dried up.
- 11:42Maybe reading the Bible feels impossible, or when your
- 11:45spiritual energy is gone to speak into His ear in prayer.
- 11:48You just don't have the strengths to pray in those
- 11:50moments, the sources say. God sends His body to bring you
- 11:53back. So others step in when we can't.
- 11:56Yes, it's typically not the Wanderers own efforts that
- 11:59prompt his return to the fold, but his brothers.
- 12:02Referencing James 5.1920, the community becomes that priceless
- 12:06means of God's grace, the invaluable backstop.
- 12:09It catches you when you're falling, even when you didn't
- 12:11initiate the return. This just underscores that the
- 12:14grace of God cannot be quarantined to individuals.
- 12:16It flows through the body. That's why a spiritually healthy
- 12:19Christian, whether they're introverted or extroverted,
- 12:21whatever their personality, shouldn't try to minimize
- 12:24relationships in the church, but maximize them.
- 12:27Because God has guilt us each other to be to each other an
- 12:30indispensable means of His divine favor.
- 12:33This fellowship isn't optional. It's described as an essential
- 12:36element of the good work God has begun in US and promises to
- 12:38bring to completion. As Philippians 1.6 assures us,
- 12:41God uses people to finish His work in US.
- 12:43OK, so this isn't just about having friendly chats.
- 12:46It sounds like there needs to be a more solid structure for this
- 12:49kind of backstop fellowship to really work.
- 12:52The sources mentioned covenantal fellowship.
- 12:54What makes that different from just having, you know, good
- 12:57Christian friends? How does that formal pledge
- 13:00create the safety net? That's a key distinction the
- 13:03sources make. They argue that the deepest,
- 13:05most durable sum of fellowship is covenantal.
- 13:08This means it's between parties that have made formal
- 13:11commitments to each other. The analogy uses marriage, a
- 13:15public binding pledge. It signifies a level of
- 13:18seriousness, a mutual obligation that goes beyond casual
- 13:21friendship. It's a declared intention to
- 13:23stick together. And how does that play out in
- 13:24the church context? Is this about church membership
- 13:27specifically? Yes, that seems to be the
- 13:29primary application, the sources say.
- 13:32When we make vows and promises to each other in covenanting
- 13:35together in a local church, as members or partners, we don't
- 13:39inhibit the true life of the church but give the truest
- 13:41conditions for its growth and flourishing.
- 13:44So these firmal pledges, like taking membership vows, aren't
- 13:47seen as restrictive red tape. They actually provide the stable
- 13:50environment needed for deep relationships to grow.
- 13:53This covenant community means members are pledged to be the
- 13:56church for each other through thick and thin.
- 13:58Pledged through thick and thin, that's strong.
- 14:01It is, and it stands in contrast to just a network of loose
- 14:05Christian relationships where people might easily drift in and
- 14:08out of the community without that same level of mutual
- 14:11accountability and support. Why are these pledges seen as so
- 14:14helpful? Because, frankly, our hearts are
- 14:17prone to wander and life throws curveballs.
- 14:20Casual connections might not withstand the pressure.
- 14:23A covenant provides a structure, the sources say.
- 14:26Covenant community is like Christian marriage in that it is
- 14:29within the framework of stated commitments and promised
- 14:31allegiances that life in relationship is guarded,
- 14:34nourished and encouraged most to thrive.
- 14:37It's within that pledged framework that Grace has the
- 14:40clearest channels to flow consistently between believers.
- 14:43OK, that sets the stage really well for this final section on
- 14:46listening. The sources call listening an
- 14:47underrated act, but also essential for fellowship and
- 14:50another means of grace. We tend to think hearing is
- 14:53passive easy, but they talk about true, sustained active
- 14:56listening is something much harder.
- 14:58What's the core difference there?
- 14:59Yeah, it's easy to confuse hearing with listening, isn't
- 15:02it? As Romans 10.96 says, faith
- 15:04comes from hearing the word of Christ.
- 15:07So hearing God's Word is fundamental and in a sense,
- 15:11passive reception. But the kind of listening needed
- 15:13for Koinonia, for fellowship, is described as true, sustained,
- 15:17active listening. And that, they say, is a great
- 15:20act of faith and a great means of grace, both for ourselves and
- 15:23for others. Why is it hard?
- 15:25Because in our sin, we'd rather trust in ourselves than in
- 15:28another. Speak our own mind rather than
- 15:30listen to someone else. Our default to self
- 15:32centeredness, true listening requires humility.
- 15:35Sitting aside our own agenda, our own desire to speak, and
- 15:38actually concentrating on the other person.
- 15:40It's an act of choice against our natural inclination.
- 15:42Is there a key Bible verse that guides us here?
- 15:45A sort of charter for Christian listening.
- 15:47There is the go to text highlighted is James 1.1 Tang.
- 15:51Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to
- 15:54anger. Sound simle right.
- 15:56But the sources admit it's simle enough in principle and nearly
- 15:58impossible to live. Because realistically, too often
- 16:01we are slow to hear, quick to speak, and quick to anger.
- 16:04We get it backwards. So learning to listen well isn't
- 16:07automatic. It requires discipline, effort,
- 16:10and intentionality. It's about developing a pattern
- 16:13of little resolves, cultivating the habit to focus in on
- 16:16particular people in specific moments.
- 16:18It's built through consistent small choices.
- 16:20A habit built on small choices. OK, the sources then layout 6
- 16:24specific lessons for good listening.
- 16:26Let's tackle the first Good listening requires patience.
- 16:29What is impatient listening look like and how does patients help
- 16:32us overcome that? Patients in listening.
- 16:35Tough, impatient listening is that kind of listening with half
- 16:40an ear that presumes already to know what the other person has
- 16:42to say. You know that feeling.
- 16:44Someone starts talking and your brain jumps ahead, Oh, I know
- 16:47this story. Or here we go again.
- 16:50Or worse, you're just mentally rehearsing your reply.
- 16:53That's impatient, inattentive listening, only waiting for a
- 16:56chance to speak. The sources say many of us are
- 17:00too preoccupied with ourselves. When we listen, instead of
- 17:03focusing on what's being said, we're busy either deciding what
- 17:06to say in response or mentally rejecting the other person's
- 17:09point of view. Yeah, I can definitely recognize
- 17:11that tendency in myself sometimes.
- 17:13We all can, I think. True patience though, demands
- 17:17concentration. Being in with both ears, hearing
- 17:21the person out till he's done speaking.
- 17:23And this is key. Rarely will the speaker begin
- 17:26with what's most important and deepest.
- 17:28People often circle around the main point.
- 17:30We need to hear the whole thing all the way to the caboose
- 17:33before jumping in patient, listening.
- 17:35Silence is the smartphone, sure, but also silence is the internal
- 17:38noise. It doesn't stop the story, but
- 17:40is attentive, impatient. It looks externally relaxed, but
- 17:43is internally active, focused. It really takes energy to block
- 17:48out the distractions and the many good excuses we might have
- 17:51for interrupting for those naturally quick to speak.
- 17:54It takes real spirit power, patience to keep hearing, to
- 17:57resist fixing and just let the person finish.
- 17:59That leads perfectly into the second lesson.
- 18:01Good listening is an act of love.
- 18:03It's not just about technique, but about the heart behind it.
- 18:06How does listening or failing to listen actually communicate love
- 18:09or the lack of it? Well that half your listening we
- 18:11just talked about. The sources say it essentially
- 18:14despises the brother. Ouch.
- 18:16Because it's only waiting for a chance to speak and let's get
- 18:19rid of the other person. It treats them like an
- 18:21interruption. So poor listening rejects, good
- 18:24listening embraces. It's offering the gift of your
- 18:27full presence, which communicates value.
- 18:29Poor listening diminishes others, while good listening
- 18:32invites them to exist and to matter.
- 18:35You're affirming their worth by truly hearing them.
- 18:37And the connection to our faith is direct.
- 18:39Just as love to God begins with listening to His Word, so the
- 18:43beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen
- 18:45to them. Good listening aligns with the
- 18:47mindset of Christ from Philippians 2.
- 18:50Humility, considering others more significant.
- 18:53It flows from a heart that looks not only to his own interests,
- 18:55but also the interests of others.
- 18:57It embodies the patience and kindness of First Corinthians
- 18:5913. So listening isn't just polite,
- 19:02it's a tangible way we live out Christ command to love one
- 19:05another. It says You are important to me.
- 19:07OK, lesson 3. Good listening asks perceptive
- 19:11questions. This sounds more active than
- 19:13just patiently waiting. How do we move beyond surface
- 19:16level questions to ones that genuinely help someone open up
- 19:19and explore what's really going on inside?
- 19:21Right, It's not passive waiting. The sources bring in Proverbs.
- 19:24Here it is the fool who takes no pleasure in understanding, but
- 19:27only in exercising his opinions. Proverbs 18.2.
- 19:31A fool just wants to talk, not understand, and that fool gives
- 19:34an answer before he hears. Proverbs 18.13.
- 19:37We need to avoid that. Instead, Proverbs 20.5 says the
- 19:41purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of
- 19:44understanding will draw it out. Listening well is like drawing
- 19:47water from a deep well. So good listening asks
- 19:49perceptive, open-ended questions.
- 19:52Questions that can't just be answered with yes or no.
- 19:54They gently peel the onion and probe beneath the surface.
- 19:57It means being curious, genuinely wanting to understand.
- 20:00Good listeners also watch carefully for nonverbal
- 20:02communication, tone, body language.
- 20:05But they don't interrogate and pry.
- 20:07The goal is to meekly draw them out, maybe using careful,
- 20:10genuine leading questions to help the speaker see things from
- 20:13a fresh angle. Just articulate what they're
- 20:15feeling more clearly. It's skillful and gentle.
- 20:17Gently peeling the onion. I like that image.
- 20:20Which brings us to lesson 4. Good listening is ministry.
- 20:25We usually think of ministry as doing things, preaching, serving
- 20:28meals, teaching. How is just listening a form of
- 20:32ministry? How does it serve someone?
- 20:34It's a bit counterintuitive for some of us, maybe, but the
- 20:37sources insist there are many times when listening can be a
- 20:40greater service than speaking. Sometimes the most helpful thing
- 20:44you can do is simply offer your undivided attention.
- 20:47It might mean consciously squaring your shoulders, making
- 20:50eye contact, leaning in, and being willing to hear his pain
- 20:53all the way to the bottom. Often good listening diffuses
- 20:58the emotions that are part of the problem.
- 21:00Just letting someone vent, articulate their frustration or
- 21:02sadness can be incredibly therapeutic.
- 21:05Sometimes releasing these emotions is all that is needed
- 21:07to solve the problem. So the listening itself can be
- 21:10healing. Yes, it means putting more
- 21:12emphasis on affirmation than on answers.
- 21:16You don't always need to have the solution.
- 21:18Many times God simply wants to use me as a channel of His
- 21:20affirming love as I listen with compassion and understanding.
- 21:25Just letting someone know they're heard and cared for can
- 21:27be a huge gift. As the sources say, often a
- 21:29person can be helped merely by having someone who will listen
- 21:32to him Seriously. It's a ministry of presence, a
- 21:35validation of bearing a burden by hearing it.
- 21:38That's really freeing, actually. The pressure isn't always on us
- 21:41to fix things. But Lesson 5, good listening
- 21:43prepares us to speak well, reminds us that sometimes we do
- 21:46need to speak. How does listening first make
- 21:48our eventual words more effective, more gracious?
- 21:51Right, it's not always about silence.
- 21:53While sometimes good listening only listens and ministers best
- 21:56by keeping quiet for the moment, usually it does prepare us.
- 22:00It readies us to minister words of grace to precisely the place
- 22:03where the other is in need. Our words become targeted and
- 22:07helpful, not generic or off base because we actually understand
- 22:10the situation. Bonhoeffer's quote is key here.
- 22:14We should listen with the ears of God that we may speak the
- 22:16word of God. Listening helps us discern what
- 22:19needs to be said, perhaps even what God wants said.
- 22:22This requires resisting defensiveness, especially if the
- 22:25topic is difficult. It means listening from a non
- 22:28judgmental stance, really training himself not to
- 22:31formulate opinions or responses until the full account is on the
- 22:34table. Only after truly hearing and
- 22:36understanding are we equipped to speak words that are genuinely
- 22:39helpful, truthful and loving. Words that build up, as
- 22:42Ephesians says. Listening with the ears of God.
- 22:45That's a high calling, and it connects directly to the final
- 22:47lesson number six. Good listening reflects our
- 22:50relationship with God. This seems to tie it all
- 22:53together. How does the way we listen or
- 22:57don't listen to people reflect our own spiritual state in
- 23:00connection with God? This is maybe the most
- 23:02challenging insight. Our inability to listen well to
- 23:05others may be symptomatic of a chatty spirit that is drowning
- 23:08out the voice of God. If our minds are always racing,
- 23:12always formulating our own thoughts, always talking
- 23:14internally or externally, how can we possibly hear the still
- 23:17small voice of the Spirit, or even pay attention to God's
- 23:20Word? Bonhoeffer's warning is stark.
- 23:23He who can no longer listen to his brother will soon be no
- 23:25longer listening to God either. He'll be doing nothing but
- 23:28prattle in the presence of God, too.
- 23:29He calls this the beginning of the death of the spiritual life.
- 23:33A failure to listen to others signals A deeper failure to
- 23:36listen to God. Our horizontal relationships
- 23:39reveal our vertical one, he adds.
- 23:41Anyone who thinks that his time is too valuable to spend keeping
- 23:44quiet will eventually have no time for God and his brother,
- 23:47but only for himself and for his own follies.
- 23:50Self importance crowds out God and others.
- 23:53Conversely, embracing good listening makes us channels for
- 23:56God's grace. It's a great means of grace for
- 23:58us, helping us grow, and it allows God to use us as His
- 24:02means of grace in the lives of others.
- 24:04It's fundamental spiritual practice, reflecting our
- 24:07humility and our dependence on God in His body.
- 24:10This has been incredibly rich. We've journeyed from
- 24:13understanding Koinonia not as just casual hanging out, but as
- 24:15this vital gospel driven partnership.
- 24:18We saw how it acts as a glorious backstop of grace, God's way of
- 24:21keeping us close through community, especially through
- 24:23covenant relationships. And now we see how absolutely
- 24:26central listening is to all of it.
- 24:28Not just hearing, but this patient, loving, perceptive,
- 24:31active listening as a ministry and a reflection of our walk
- 24:34with God. Absolutely.
- 24:35And looking at the big picture, it really pushes back against
- 24:38our modern, often individualistic ways of thinking
- 24:41about faith. The health of your spiritual
- 24:44life, according to these sources, is deeply tied to how
- 24:47well you engage with and listen to your brothers and sisters in
- 24:50Christ. It's an act of faith to listen
- 24:52well. It shows real affection.
- 24:54And it's one of the key ways God pours his grace into our lives
- 24:57and threw us to others. It pulls us out of ourselves and
- 25:00into the beautiful, messy reality of the body of Christ.
- 25:04So as we wrap up, here's something for you, the listener,
- 25:07to consider. How might picking just one of
- 25:10these six listening habits, maybe patients, maybe asking
- 25:12better questions, maybe just affirming someone?
- 25:15How might practicing that intentionally this week change
- 25:18your relationship you have in your church community?
- 25:20And even deeper, what might paying attention to your
- 25:23listening habits reveal about your own heart and your walk
- 25:25with God? Maybe, as you suggested earlier,
- 25:28even asking someone you trust to help keep you accountable to
- 25:30being quick to hear. And thank you for joining us on
- 25:33this deep dive into Reformed thinking.
- 25:35May God give you grace to be quick to hear.