Latest / Sex, Lies, and Spray Tans / It’s Getting Hot in Here with Richard Marx and Daisy Fuentes

Transcript

It’s Getting Hot in Here with Richard Marx and Daisy Fuentes · Sex, Lies, and Spray Tans

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hey, hey, I do part two.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: It's Richard Marks and my gorgeous wife, Daisy Fuentes. Hi.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: And today we are excited to dive into a topic
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: that is taboo for many to discuss, which is but
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: also an important factor in any healthy romantic relationship.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: Taboo for some, but so exciting for me.
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: I am so psyched that I cannot wait to dig in.
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: Today we're joined by sexologist, sex expert, TV personality, and
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: author of The Game of Desire, and host of the
• 0:48
  Speaker 4: podcast Lovers by Shan.
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: It's Shan Boudram. Yes!
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, baby!
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: It's like you popped out of the cake at that one.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Can I start?
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: I know it should be ladies first. But on the
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: way here- Men usually do come first.
• 1:01
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: Ain't that the truth?
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm really at a loss for words.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: The truth is true. We got to have it. We
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: got to go there.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: Daisy can attest to this. 20 minutes before we even
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: got here to the studio, I asked the question, how
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: do you become a sex expert? I mean, I have
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: an idea, but- How do you become a sexologist? Tell
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: us your path to that.
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 1:35
  Speaker 6: I am a sex educator versus a sex expert because
• 1:38
  Speaker 6: we are all sex experts.
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: Oh, I mean, not all. We all are. I dated
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: some men. Well, of our own body, of our own anatomy,
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: or at least a portion of it.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Very much in kindergarten.
• 1:48
  Speaker 7: Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:50
  Speaker 6: You know, you can tap in. Most of us can
• 1:52
  Speaker 6: tap in with how we feel. We have an understanding
• 1:54
  Speaker 6: of our sexual selves, our sexual identity. Even if we
• 1:57
  Speaker 6: don't have the words for it, we kind of know
• 1:58
  Speaker 6: what we like, what we don't like. You know, when
• 1:59
  Speaker 6: you eat something and you can't really quite disguise the flavor,
• 2:02
  Speaker 6: but you know if you like it or you don't.
• 2:03
  Speaker 6: So that's, at least we have that tacit knowledge. So
• 2:05
  Speaker 6: everyone is a sex expert, a sex educator. I went
• 2:09
  Speaker 6: to school for psychology. I got a master's in psychology.
• 2:14
  Speaker 6: And then I became a certified sex educator through ASECT.
• 2:17
  Speaker 6: And then I went to Sexual Health Alliance. I also
• 2:19
  Speaker 6: became a certified sex educator there. And I'm an ABS
• 2:22
  Speaker 6: certified sexologist. So I teach about sex. But am I
• 2:25
  Speaker 6: the best lovemaker in the world? Yes, you are.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: No, I'm not. It depends on who you ask. Always
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: for everyone. Isn't that the case? It really depends on
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: who you ask because, you know, we are all great
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: in someone's eyes. And we're also always the villain in
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: someone's story. At some point, you've been the best someone
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: ever had.
• 2:49
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 2:49
  Speaker 6: Even if you're your first, when you touched yourself at
• 2:52
  Speaker 6: that moment, you were the best you ever had. At
• 2:54
  Speaker 6: some point, we have all been the best someone has
• 2:56
  Speaker 6: ever had. I just, I can't say it enough because
• 2:59
  Speaker 6: I think sometimes we feel like we have to, we're
• 3:00
  Speaker 6: gatekept from basic human rights and your sexuality is a
• 3:04
  Speaker 6: basic human right. And you don't have to qualify for that.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: And I think that one of the reasons why many people,
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: including myself, love these types of conversations is because we're
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: in many areas of life. They say comparison is the
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: thief of joy. Well, this is the one area in
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: life where we really don't have a lot of comparisons
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: to make. Like we can only compare what we know
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: from our own experience in the past. Like we don't
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: know what other people know. We can't compare to other
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: people's experiences. And so whenever you have the chance to
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: learn and get some insight on that, to really measure
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: it against like, oh, I have felt that way or
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: I've thought, oh, I didn't know that people do that
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: or feel that or that you could.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: You know, and that's why it's such an interesting topic
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: because we're all interested in what everybody else is doing.
• 3:58
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: Even if you, and this is what I love about
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: kind of where we are in society, that we can
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: have such a more open conversation. conversation about these kinds
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: of things. But even other people's experiences or proclivities or
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: interests or turn-ons that I go, wait, what? I'm still
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: really interested in like, was there an origin to that?
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: Or so how do you, like, if you're into something that's,
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: you know, maybe what's the right terminology, less mass.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: Appeal, Yes.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Yes. Kinky.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: One person's kinky is another person's.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: But I love the idea. I love the idea of
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: asking and finding out how do you navigate that in
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: a relationship or how do you navigate that just in
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: a hookup or how do you, how do you comfortably
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: ask for what you want and how scary is that?
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: You know, um, it's all very, I think that this,
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: this sexual, um, um, interaction between human beings is endlessly fascinating.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: Although you correct me if I'm wrong, but I think
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: that the younger generation today has a better grasp on that.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: They are so much more open. And I guess just
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: because of information being so available.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: Because of people like Shan.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: Yes. And because there, there is more conversation. They're much
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: more comfortable. I only had Dr.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Ruth.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: Exactly. But the younger gen, I.
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: Can't believe you still remember that. You were paying attention.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: RIP to a legend, man. But for those who are
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: older and maybe navigating sex after divorce, after they've been
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: married for a long time, It's still, I think, a
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: difficult thing to navigate. What do you think about that?
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: And how should people approach that?
• 5:59
  Speaker 6: You guys threw a lot at me right there.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 6:00
  Speaker 8: You did.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: And it was good. You can handle it. I feel confident.
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: I think we're just going to.
• 6:06
  Speaker 6: There's a difference between thinking and feeling. What I think
• 6:10
  Speaker 6: right now is I'm watching your face. I'm watching your expressions.
• 6:13
  Speaker 6: Is she understanding me? Am I talking too long? What
• 6:15
  Speaker 6: I feel? This chair is kind of comfortable.
• 6:17
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 6:18
  Speaker 6: Oh, I'm a little hot. My armpits are kind of
• 6:19
  Speaker 6: sweaty if I think about it.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: Or I feel a little.
• 6:22
  Speaker 6: I can feel the weight actually drop down to my
• 6:24
  Speaker 6: bottom right now.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: Do I have to go pee?
• 6:25
  Speaker 6: That's what I feel, right? So sex is a thinking
• 6:29
  Speaker 6: thing when it comes to safety, when it comes to
• 6:31
  Speaker 6: family planning, when it comes to risk assessment, consent. Yes,
• 6:35
  Speaker 6: it's a thinking thing. You have to think about those things.
• 6:37
  Speaker 6: You have to consider other people. But when it comes
• 6:39
  Speaker 6: to grading the experience, it's a feeling thing.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: It's just.
• 6:44
  Speaker 6: It doesn't matter if somebody is eating Chipotle right now
• 6:48
  Speaker 6: in the world and somebody else is eating the most
• 6:51
  Speaker 6: rare baked in 24 karat gold filet mignon. When they
• 6:56
  Speaker 6: both bite that and it tastes amazing to them, it's
• 6:58
  Speaker 6: the same thing, right? So the thinking and the comparing
• 7:01
  Speaker 6: yourself to other people is so irrelevant. Because you can't compare.
• 7:06
  Speaker 6: We can't compare pleasure. You will never know if your
• 7:08
  Speaker 6: friend who has sex hanging from the ceiling and has
• 7:10
  Speaker 6: a sex bedroom and a sex dungeon and is, you know,
• 7:13
  Speaker 6: has foods and all these other toys.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: They go to sex parties.
• 7:17
  Speaker 6: You're never going to know if their orgasm is better
• 7:19
  Speaker 6: than your little rose orgasm at home alone.
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: There's no possible way of knowing the feeling.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: No two orgasms are the same anyway.
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: Exactly.
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: Exactly. So I don't have to think and compare. I
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: just ask myself the question. However, there are still, and
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: I know from my conversations with my girlfriends, there are
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: still people who can't separate the two. There are still
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: people who are so much in their head that it
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: gets in the way of the feeling.
• 7:46
  Speaker 6: How do you navigate that? Or what do you suggest? Well,
• 7:50
  Speaker 6: I'll ask you guys both the question. What are you
• 7:51
  Speaker 6: thinking and feeling right now, honestly?
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: I'm feeling really close to her because when we get
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: to kind of revisit the origin of our relationship, which
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: we did in the episode before you got here, talking
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: about our history. Because we met later in life. We've
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: been married 10 years, together 12 years. I was actually
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: sitting here having this conversation with her, and what I
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: was feeling was this rush of how.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: Attracted i am to her in somewhat the same ways
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: that i was when i first knew her but now
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: that she's my family and we've been through a lot
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: together i was just feeling so grateful that that's my
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: person but that's how i'm feeling right now isn't.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: He isn't he just the best he's.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: A keeper i was just.
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: I would marry you i would marry you again.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: I hope so.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: I got to say, it's the wrong answer, Richard.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 8:58
  Speaker 7: Sorry.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: You were thinking about that.
• 9:03
  Speaker 6: You were thinking about it and you were remembering the feeling,
• 9:06
  Speaker 6: which means she's good. You weren't presently here, which is
• 9:09
  Speaker 6: the actual perfect response because you shouldn't be here.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: No, no, I disagree because there was thinking involved in
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: the tracing of it, but the feeling that I had
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: just looking at her and factoring that all in was
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: an absolute, Rush of feeling. It wasn't a rush of thinking.
• 9:25
  Speaker 6: Yeah, but in this exact moment, you're still feeling that?
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: No, not right now.
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: I think what she means is like- Well, right now
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: you're probably feeling like, bitch, what?
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: So right now, right now I'm feeling like my feet
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: are cold because it's cold in here.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: That's what you mean. I'm a little chilly, yeah.
• 9:39
  Speaker 6: Yeah, or like you're feeling, or you could be feeling sentimental, right?
• 9:43
  Speaker 6: Because you're like, and then if I asked you, why
• 9:45
  Speaker 6: are you feeling sentimental?
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: Because of that, what just happened.
• 9:47
  Speaker 6: Yeah, because you're thinking about that, right? So there's a connection,
• 9:50
  Speaker 6: I guess, in that case, right? But then if you
• 9:53
  Speaker 6: thought about some of the other bodily feelings of temperature,
• 9:57
  Speaker 6: of feeling sensation, of comfort, right? So things like that
• 10:00
  Speaker 6: are sensory attached, right? What you're smelling, what you're seeing
• 10:04
  Speaker 6: right now, are you feeling tired? What's your energy level?
• 10:07
  Speaker 6: So there's the feeling in terms of, I think, the emotion,
• 10:10
  Speaker 6: and that's the difference of an emotion, but the feeling,
• 10:13
  Speaker 6: what's like actually here. So I think with sex, that's
• 10:16
  Speaker 6: kind of the problem is that often we don't really
• 10:18
  Speaker 6: know how to be like what's my left toe doing?
• 10:22
  Speaker 6: What's my right side of my clitoris doing? What's the,
• 10:26
  Speaker 6: what's my gooch doing, right?
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: It's so hard to, that's what I mean. It's hard
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: to be in the moment, to go with the feeling.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: And especially when you're coming out of a long-term relationship
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: that you've been in this, you've gone through the marriage,
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: you've gone through the kids, you've gone through like being
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: hot for each other to just like being basically roommates
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: to then the divorce. And now all of a sudden
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: you're back in the dating pool. And you're almost like,
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: it's almost like you're picking up where you left off.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: But your kids are grown.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: His kids are grown. Your kids are grown.
• 10:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 10:59
  Speaker 6: Now you have all the time in the world to love.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 11:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 11:03
  Speaker 7: Heaven.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And to love with a lifetime of experience behind you. Yes.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: Of what your deal breakers are, maybe, or what you
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: won't settle for again in terms of lack or- For me,
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: it's always about don't repeat behavior that didn't serve you
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: or don't repeat experiences that didn't serve you. And I'm
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: so grateful about this relationship because I would hate to
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: have gone through the rest of my life always thinking,
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: I never felt that thing or I never got to
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: do that or be comfortable enough to ask for this or,
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: you know, that's, that's where a lot of my gratitude
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: lies in this relationship. But I think that a lot
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: of people to ask for what I want, but I
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: think a.
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: Lot of people who've been in marriages for a long,
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: who've been married for a long time are probably at
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: some point they've gone through that thought. And that doesn't
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: always mean you have to get a divorce or the
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: relationship isn't going to work out. So people who have
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: been married a long time and are feeling like, Oh,
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: I thought there was going to be more. And a
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: lot of that is the sexual chemistry that is lost
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: in a, in a long-term relationship. How do you, how
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: do you bring that back? Or is it, it, should
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: you be expecting to bring that back? Or is there
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: just another level that you can blow in?
• 12:34
  Speaker 6: I mean, there's an infinite amount of answers to that,
• 12:37
  Speaker 6: but the end of the day is you don't know
• 12:40
  Speaker 6: till you try. If you've lived life a certain way
• 12:43
  Speaker 6: for a period of time and your result is that
• 12:45
  Speaker 6: you don't like it, you try something else. If you
• 12:47
  Speaker 6: meaningfully take stock and say, I've tried every reasonable thing
• 12:50
  Speaker 6: that I can try and the results aren't changing.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: There you go.
• 12:54
  Speaker 6: It's actually not much more complicated than that. And sometimes
• 12:58
  Speaker 6: people need that. It's a beautiful relief to let somebody
• 13:01
  Speaker 6: go who you guys just can't seem to grow together, right?
• 13:05
  Speaker 6: Like there's, you're trying your best, the intentions are there
• 13:08
  Speaker 6: and that sucks. It's such a heartbreaking thing. But the
• 13:11
  Speaker 6: only way that you guys get to be together now
• 13:13
  Speaker 6: and experience what you just freely said on camera is
• 13:17
  Speaker 6: by letting something else go.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 13:19
  Speaker 6: It's just not possible elsewise. And so, again, but I
• 13:22
  Speaker 6: do think something very important. When I got married, I
• 13:25
  Speaker 6: got married thinking, I'll just get divorced if I need to.
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: That was my thought.
• 13:29
  Speaker 7: Me too. Yeah.
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: I was like, I do until I don't.
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: A hundred percent. And that is valid for every marriage.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: It is valid, but I.
• 13:41
  Speaker 6: That meant that every time I got into an argument,
• 13:43
  Speaker 6: I had to go to myself and say, is this
• 13:46
  Speaker 6: the divorce argument?
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: Oh, because divorce is an option.
• 13:49
  Speaker 6: It's not that it can't be an option, but let
• 13:53
  Speaker 6: your decision be a decision for some period of time.
• 13:55
  Speaker 6: That's what marriage is suggesting. Maybe lifetime is too grandiose.
• 13:59
  Speaker 6: If marriage was, I do for the next four years,
• 14:01
  Speaker 6: you would just tell yourself for four years, I'm going
• 14:04
  Speaker 6: to give this a try.
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: I'm already here anyways. I have four years.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: I can do four years.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: I can do four years.
• 14:09
  Speaker 6: And then at year four, I decide again. Maybe it's
• 14:11
  Speaker 6: two years for you or whatever it is, but making those,
• 14:14
  Speaker 6: not keeping the option constantly open in your mind really
• 14:17
  Speaker 6: takes stock. Have I done everything I can? Yes, I have.
• 14:21
  Speaker 6: Have I tried, exhausted all the, what I really want
• 14:24
  Speaker 6: to put in here is reasonable options. Assumption's not reasonable.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: It's like we say to each other sometimes when we're
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: just having a playful moment of being in love and
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: one of us will go, I just hit resubscribe. I'm resubscribing.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: And you just said something that I was like, you're
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: like your husband. What is it like to be your
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: husband and get into an argument with you? Cause that's like,
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: he's not going to win that. No, he does. Oh
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: my God.
• 14:57
  Speaker 6: I got to take the most embarrassing moment. I actually
• 15:01
  Speaker 6: technically was right in this argument. It was like, I
• 15:03
  Speaker 6: was trying to talk about something very vulnerable to him.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 15:06
  Speaker 6: And when talking about something very vulnerable, he closed up
• 15:09
  Speaker 6: a little bit. And so then I was like, and
• 15:12
  Speaker 6: then he closed up and I gave him an out
• 15:13
  Speaker 6: and he took the out. Like, let's just watch the
• 15:17
  Speaker 6: sports or let's.
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: Just clean the kitchen.
• 15:20
  Speaker 6: He was like, yeah, let's clean the kitchen. And it
• 15:21
  Speaker 6: wasn't vulnerable about me. So I have to say that
• 15:23
  Speaker 6: had nothing to do with me. I just wanted to
• 15:25
  Speaker 6: feel the intimacy of us being able to talk about anything.
• 15:28
  Speaker 6: And he didn't give me that. And so I went
• 15:29
  Speaker 6: upstairs and I'm like, I don't.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: Know how that felt.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: And then he comes upstairs and then he was just like,
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: what's going on?
• 15:40
  Speaker 6: I was like, nothing. I'm just, I'm a little frazzled
• 15:43
  Speaker 6: right now.
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: He said, why are you frazzled?
• 15:44
  Speaker 6: I said, well, because I was trying to talk to
• 15:46
  Speaker 6: you about something and I share everything with you. So
• 15:48
  Speaker 6: I just kind of felt like you put a gate up.
• 15:50
  Speaker 6: And he was like, it wasn't a gate. I just,
• 15:52
  Speaker 6: I haven't thought about that yet. So I'd have to
• 15:53
  Speaker 6: get back to you once I thought about it. And
• 15:56
  Speaker 6: then I was like, well, think about it now. He
• 15:57
  Speaker 6: was like, well, I don't want to.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: And then I'm like, how about now?
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: And so he just was like, oh, you know what?
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: I have to go to sleep.
• 16:06
  Speaker 6: And usually, even if I'm wrong, he'll be the person
• 16:09
  Speaker 6: to be the first to come back.
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
• 16:12
  Speaker 6: Like we're going to separate. He's usually the first person
• 16:14
  Speaker 6: to come back. But this time he didn't. And I
• 16:16
  Speaker 6: sent a text. I was like, are you still awake?
• 16:18
  Speaker 6: And then I didn't get a response. Then I had
• 16:20
  Speaker 6: to go downstairs and be like, okay, well, I'm wrong
• 16:23
  Speaker 6: and I'm upset, but I just don't think we should
• 16:26
  Speaker 6: sleep separately.
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: Do what you want. So I'm an idiot a lot, too.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow.
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: That's really interesting. That's really cool.
• 16:34
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: Because there must be times when you just like everything
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: that you've learned, all your education.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: That would be intimidating.
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: Like it doesn't come into play. Because you're just being human.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: I'm not thinking.
• 16:47
  Speaker 6: Sometimes I don't have the capacity to think because I'm
• 16:50
  Speaker 6: in fight or flight. So I'm just raw instinct. I'm
• 16:52
  Speaker 6: just feeling.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: You're being human.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: Sometimes I suck. So what has your husband taught you
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: about sex and relationships that you didn't know?
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: How long have you been together?
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: 10 years.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 17:15
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: 10 years.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: Okay. You guys were young.
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 17:17
  Speaker 6: Well, I'm 40. So I was 30.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: You're 40?
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: She looks amazing.
• 17:22
  Speaker 8: Crazy.
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: Skincare secrets later.
• 17:26
  Speaker 6: So I met him, I, you know, I had done
• 17:27
  Speaker 6: a lot of, of life, but it was actually the
• 17:31
  Speaker 6: very first time that we were intimate together. The, and
• 17:34
  Speaker 6: it wasn't like penetration. It was just the, it was,
• 17:36
  Speaker 6: it was second base depending on what country we're in.
• 17:40
  Speaker 6: It was second base. And I got to see his
• 17:42
  Speaker 6: face while he was at second base. And the look
• 17:45
  Speaker 6: on his face was like that of like a painter
• 17:48
  Speaker 6: on canvas.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
• 17:50
  Speaker 6: But like, not like a painter who's thought I'm going
• 17:52
  Speaker 6: to go and, paint a smiley face. One who's like,
• 17:55
  Speaker 6: what am I going to paint today? What am I feeling? Like,
• 17:57
  Speaker 6: it was like, so I don't know how to describe it.
• 18:00
  Speaker 6: And I was like, cause you're just so accustomed to
• 18:02
  Speaker 6: men having the porn face.
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 18:03
  Speaker 6: No, no, the porn face.
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 18:08
  Speaker 6: The porn face. And so you're like, Oh, I know
• 18:10
  Speaker 6: the porn face. I don't know this face. Like that
• 18:13
  Speaker 6: moment on, it was so intriguing. And if that point on,
• 18:15
  Speaker 6: I also knew sex could never be boring because we
• 18:17
  Speaker 6: would always be responding to each other in the moment.
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: And we're different.
• 18:21
  Speaker 6: Every single moment.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: That's so interesting. Now, is it true that you guys
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: have an open relationship? It is true. Oh my God,
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: I have so many questions. Just go.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: Just tell me everything.
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: It was always open.
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: It was a discussion, obviously.
• 18:36
  Speaker 6: Yeah, well, it was kind of like, I think a
• 18:38
  Speaker 6: lot of it, I wonder about your guys' take on this,
• 18:40
  Speaker 6: but I think a lot of commitment comes in hindsight.
• 18:43
  Speaker 6: A lot of titles come in hindsight. Like rather than
• 18:45
  Speaker 6: us thinking we're going to build a building. We're just
• 18:48
  Speaker 6: having fun playing with blocks. And all of a sudden
• 18:50
  Speaker 6: we look like, oh, this is a building. So that's
• 18:52
  Speaker 6: kind of what happened with our relationship in the beginning
• 18:54
  Speaker 6: is that it was just not the right time for
• 18:56
  Speaker 6: either of us. I was kind of on the fritz
• 18:57
  Speaker 6: of deportation. So I wasn't sure about my status in
• 18:59
  Speaker 6: the country and I couldn't legally work. He had just
• 19:02
  Speaker 6: moved somewhere new. So we were just looking for something
• 19:04
  Speaker 6: super casual. And in that, I think the lack of
• 19:07
  Speaker 6: we're doing this thing and more we're enjoying each other.
• 19:09
  Speaker 6: And if we're not, let's just check in because maybe
• 19:11
  Speaker 6: this is not a thing we keep doing. We just
• 19:13
  Speaker 6: kept kind of like building an intimacy, very small stuff.
• 19:15
  Speaker 6: I'm going away for the week. Would you mind watering
• 19:17
  Speaker 6: my plants? I come back. My plants aren't dead.
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: Cool.
• 19:21
  Speaker 6: Oh, I have a football party thing.
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: Do you want to come?
• 19:24
  Speaker 6: I go to the football party thing.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: I'm not weird.
• 19:26
  Speaker 6: It's not weird.
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: Cool.
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: Come to those.
• 19:27
  Speaker 6: It just kind of built like that. And so because
• 19:30
  Speaker 6: that we never had exclusivity mapped into this arrangement, didn't
• 19:33
  Speaker 6: make sense. So by the time that we had like
• 19:36
  Speaker 6: moved in together, cause it just made sense. We were like, well,
• 19:39
  Speaker 6: what should we call this? Cause now our parents are like, who.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: Do you live with? What's this thing?
• 19:43
  Speaker 6: And what's this thing? And this is like about nine
• 19:45
  Speaker 6: months later. And so I'm like, okay, this is an
• 19:47
  Speaker 6: open relationship because this dynamic has worked really well for us.
• 19:50
  Speaker 6: There's freedom, there's trust. What I do for a living,
• 19:54
  Speaker 6: I am naturally, which I'm very mad right now as
• 19:57
  Speaker 6: I touch myself, I did not oil myself up. I
• 20:01
  Speaker 6: actually have oil in my bag. If we want to
• 20:03
  Speaker 6: do the rest of this.
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: Podcast the right way.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: Your skin is gorgeous.
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: You don't need to. Okay.
• 20:06
  Speaker 6: I do have oil spray in the bag, but this
• 20:08
  Speaker 6: is part of my fun, right? Like, so I've had
• 20:11
  Speaker 6: partners in the past where they don't find it very
• 20:13
  Speaker 6: fun to date a woman like that. So I love
• 20:16
  Speaker 6: the fact that he found it fun and like, let
• 20:18
  Speaker 6: me be me. And so I let him be him.
• 20:20
  Speaker 6: And when we let each other be each other, it
• 20:21
  Speaker 6: didn't actually bother me what he chose to do.
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: So you always were into open relationships. That's something you
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: always felt comfortable in, believed in and wanted to do?
• 20:31
  Speaker 6: Well, it was 2016. So girl, I didn't know it
• 20:33
  Speaker 6: was a thing. I think I had to Google it.
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: Like, what do we call?
• 20:38
  Speaker 6: Maybe I knew because of Will and Jada, there had
• 20:40
  Speaker 6: been rumors about their relationship. So I think the word
• 20:43
  Speaker 6: was a little bit in the zeitgeist, but it definitely
• 20:45
  Speaker 6: wasn't what it is today. At the time, I mean,
• 20:48
  Speaker 6: I'm a pioneer in this. I've gone through I've been
• 20:51
  Speaker 6: dragged by, ooh, Steve Harvey tried to drag me about this.
• 20:54
  Speaker 6: The View tried to drag me about this.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: Drag you in like that it's bad?
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: It could never work. You are this.
• 21:01
  Speaker 6: I can't believe you're promoting this. What you're promoting is dangerous.
• 21:05
  Speaker 6: This is dangerous. People shouldn't consider this.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: Why do you think people are so triggered by it?
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think it's the fear that.
• 21:15
  Speaker 6: It's like if you hear a human doing, or it's
• 21:17
  Speaker 6: something that very extreme, you're just afraid someone's going to
• 21:19
  Speaker 6: ask you to do it.
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: Huh?
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Like I don't, I don't know that it's something
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: I would ever be comfortable with, but I am so
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: intrigued by it. And I'm so wanting to know how
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: people navigate it because I want to understand that. And I,
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: and I love when I meet people who are doing
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: things differently.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: Well, I really want to know if you, and it
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: seems like you're willing to share.
• 21:41
  Speaker 6: Um, let's go.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: You're an open book. Seems, um, I'm fascinated by the
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: emotional risks of it. Because I've known people over the
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: years who have not really open marriages, but there's sort
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: of like a don't ask, don't tell kind of thing.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: Especially I'm in the music business. So I know a
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: couple of guys who tour, have toured for decades. They've
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: been married, but their wife knows that it's basically like,
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: just don't embarrass me.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: I know you're going to be away for all that.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: I don't expect you to be.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: Monopolyamory. Yeah.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: But to have an agreement and a real understanding and
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: a seemingly a loving understanding of an open marriage, what
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: are the emotional risks of that? Or is it just
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: sort of like, hey, if I fall for somebody, I
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: fall for somebody. It's like, that's just part of the
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: part of the deal.
• 22:37
  Speaker 6: Oh, for sure.
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: I mean, that's a, that's a risk always.
• 22:40
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 22:41
  Speaker 6: You can never mitigate that risk or you could try
• 22:43
  Speaker 6: to put rules in place, but do you want the
• 22:45
  Speaker 6: rules there? If that meant that that person would have
• 22:47
  Speaker 6: done something different otherwise. I mean, and if it does
• 22:50
  Speaker 6: prevent it, I mean, there's something to that. I mean,
• 22:53
  Speaker 6: but also then even that's what an open relationship offers
• 22:55
  Speaker 6: is that if you meet somebody who does catch you
• 22:58
  Speaker 6: and you're like, it's worth the risk, then go experience that,
• 23:01
  Speaker 6: find out. I mean, of course there's a risk. There's
• 23:03
  Speaker 6: always a risk. And that is something to be considered.
• 23:06
  Speaker 6: And there's, like anything else, whenever you experience something new,
• 23:09
  Speaker 6: you're like, ooh, how do I feel about this? And
• 23:11
  Speaker 6: what's my thought about that? And then you unpack it
• 23:13
  Speaker 6: and you're like, eh, I think that's okay. Or you
• 23:16
  Speaker 6: see other sort of benefits of it. Like I'd asked
• 23:19
  Speaker 6: my husband this because I was like, I love a
• 23:21
  Speaker 6: little flirt buddy. I always have a little flirt buddy
• 23:22
  Speaker 6: on the side. So if I lose one, I got
• 23:25
  Speaker 6: to find a new one. And so- I was asking him,
• 23:28
  Speaker 6: I'm like, does it kind of bother you about me
• 23:30
  Speaker 6: that I like have this like, you know, this thing? Like,
• 23:31
  Speaker 6: would you rather I didn't? Would you rather that? And
• 23:34
  Speaker 6: he was like, it's hard to say because I love
• 23:37
  Speaker 6: the little uh that it gives you. The little za
• 23:39
  Speaker 6: it gives you in the world. Like feeling desirable, how
• 23:42
  Speaker 6: you put yourself out there.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: I've had two kids.
• 23:44
  Speaker 6: I'm in my forties. I'm like, I'm reaching into a
• 23:48
  Speaker 6: season where it's just not a given. It's something you
• 23:50
  Speaker 6: have to take or like take command of or want.
• 23:53
  Speaker 6: And so not to say that that is what gives
• 23:55
  Speaker 6: me that. Put a little.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: Za on it.
• 23:58
  Speaker 6: You know what I mean? It just puts a little
• 23:59
  Speaker 6: za on it. So I think that he's like, I
• 24:01
  Speaker 6: love that about you. And on top of that, I've
• 24:03
  Speaker 6: never had physical sex with anybody else. So that, there
• 24:07
  Speaker 6: we go. That might be an O for why it's okay.
• 24:10
  Speaker 6: And for other people, it might be the opposite.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: Was that a choice on your end or was it
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: part of the agreement?
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: It's a choice on my end. And what about for him,
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: the same?
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: No, he has.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And how does that work?
• 24:24
  Speaker 6: I mean, at first you're like, how does that make
• 24:26
  Speaker 6: me feel? And then you're like, I think I'm okay
• 24:29
  Speaker 6: with it. Nothing in my life changes. And they got
• 24:32
  Speaker 6: a little involved. I mean, it's at the end of
• 24:35
  Speaker 6: the day too. It's also important to note that I
• 24:37
  Speaker 6: have been a sex educator for 20 years.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 24:41
  Speaker 6: So I've been exposed to different communities. I've been in
• 24:44
  Speaker 6: different groups. I've heard different stories. So I'm not trying
• 24:48
  Speaker 6: to ask anybody to take the, all the time and
• 24:50
  Speaker 6: the work and the effort and the, groups and the
• 24:52
  Speaker 6: exposure I've had and apply that to their everyday life.
• 24:55
  Speaker 6: It's an extraordinary amount of work, but I love the
• 24:58
  Speaker 6: work and I like the result. And I'm also paid
• 25:00
  Speaker 6: to do the work. You know, I'm monetarily inspired to
• 25:04
  Speaker 6: learn about these things and have these kinds of conversations.
• 25:07
  Speaker 6: So I'm not by any means saying this to say
• 25:09
  Speaker 6: to anybody else, like, well, then you should be more
• 25:12
  Speaker 6: okay with it. Why would you be? That doesn't, you
• 25:14
  Speaker 6: do so many other things incredibly that I can't do
• 25:17
  Speaker 6: that you spend all your time on. I would never
• 25:19
  Speaker 6: compare my results to yours. Um, cause I know that
• 25:22
  Speaker 6: if I wanted to work at that, I could, but
• 25:24
  Speaker 6: I just don't want to.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: So I don't. I have a lot more respect for
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: people who have what they call an open marriage than
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: the people who don't and cheat on their partner.
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure. And, and we know there's a lot
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: of that. What's one thing you believed or even, um,
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: taught or or suggested when you first started that you've
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: changed your mind on your mind on now.
• 25:51
  Speaker 6: Oh so much good one honey so much i mean
• 25:54
  Speaker 6: i think any time that was a good question thank
• 25:57
  Speaker 6: you listen y'all just make out a little quick i
• 26:00
  Speaker 6: know we do we do for me maybe later i
• 26:07
  Speaker 6: would like to see.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: I'll totally plant one on it right in front of.
• 26:10
  Speaker 6: You yeah There's a meme by the actor Monique that's
• 26:13
  Speaker 6: like that, where she's like, I'd like to see it.
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: So somebody right now put that in the comment section.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: I think so much.
• 26:20
  Speaker 6: I think it's just the, someone said this to me actually,
• 26:23
  Speaker 6: which I thought was like the grandest compliment, but they
• 26:25
  Speaker 6: were like, it's so fascinating because the older you get,
• 26:27
  Speaker 6: the more humble you get. And sometimes humility means like
• 26:31
  Speaker 6: life has, life has flattened you. And it has, you know,
• 26:34
  Speaker 6: when you become a mom and you experience different things
• 26:36
  Speaker 6: or you sort of have different kinds of conversation, you're
• 26:39
  Speaker 6: sort of, I know best, or I know what I'm doing,
• 26:42
  Speaker 6: or this person's good, that person bad. That thing kind
• 26:44
  Speaker 6: of erodes because, I mean, I always think about this
• 26:47
  Speaker 6: like human and humility, right? It's the hum.
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: And the hum is the consistency, like the, hmm, like.
• 26:55
  Speaker 6: That means we're all the same. It's just consistent frequency.
• 26:58
  Speaker 6: So I think now that I see the world like
• 27:00
  Speaker 6: that and I see it less, you know, even like
• 27:03
  Speaker 6: before I used to have a lot of hatred towards men,
• 27:06
  Speaker 6: not men in particular, but certain types of men online
• 27:09
  Speaker 6: that you encounter and, The men that women often complain about.
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: And now I don't.
• 27:14
  Speaker 6: There was Love Island came out this year. And the
• 27:18
  Speaker 6: most toxic person was this guy named Sincere. He was
• 27:21
  Speaker 6: such a F-boy and a liar and a manipulator. His
• 27:23
  Speaker 6: name was Sincere.
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's ironic.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: But it's also kind of tragic and sad. Yeah.
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: He didn't get the memo.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: I feel like he did that on purpose though.
• 27:34
  Speaker 6: No, it means his parents were like, you only call
• 27:37
  Speaker 6: your kids something that you like don't really have. Like
• 27:39
  Speaker 6: you want to give it to your kid. And maybe
• 27:42
  Speaker 6: you just like lived in a very dishonest world and
• 27:44
  Speaker 6: you never really felt you could trust people. And so
• 27:46
  Speaker 6: you're like, I want to give my kid this gift
• 27:48
  Speaker 6: that I just don't really see is in the world
• 27:49
  Speaker 6: right now. So, but then the thing is, if you're
• 27:52
  Speaker 6: born of parents who are not around that, they may
• 27:54
  Speaker 6: not know how to teach that. So then I don't
• 27:56
  Speaker 6: hate the men as much. So I think that's the
• 27:58
  Speaker 6: difference is I have a lot more tolerance now.
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: Than I used to that's interesting do you think sexual
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: confidence is something that gets better and stronger with age
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: or is it the other way around I mean you're
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: 40 let's all answer it for ourselves no way as
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: women I will actually push your chair over girl I
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: will shove your chair over.
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: I may have been fishing for a compliment a little
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: bit but no 60 is actually wild So I wanted
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: to ask also about that.
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: Congratulations. But for women, as we get older especially, but
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: for everyone, is sexual confidence something that comes with age
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: or something that we lose with age? You just said
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: we get more humble as we get older. What does
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: that mean for sex?
• 28:43
  Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, you look so good with your age.
• 28:45
  Speaker 6: I couldn't even listen.
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: Oh my God, you're so cute. Thank you. I always
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: say that too, because it's like, you know, people say
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: you look good for your age. It's like, you look
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: good with your age.
• 28:52
  Speaker 6: Like 60 looks so good on you.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: Thank you. And that also makes sense for like your energy.
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: It feels good. Like you feel like, bitch, I've been here.
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: I have. Don't play with me. Bitch, I have. to say,
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: I've been here, and I'm not going anywhere. Oh my gosh,
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: I love that. That's so great.
• 29:17
  Speaker 6: I have no idea what you asked, I'm so sorry,
• 29:19
  Speaker 6: but yeah.
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: Oh, about sexual confidence. About sexual confidence. Does it get
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: better with age, or do we become more insecure as
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: we become maybe a little more humble? Because that's one
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: thing with age is that I, you're right, when you're young,
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: you feel like you know everything. Then as you get older,
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: you're like, God, I really don't know anything and I
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: want to know everything. I want to learn. At least
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: I have become more and more and more curious about everything.
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: So with sexual confidence, what does that mean sexually? Honestly,
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: I already know the answer to this, but have you
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: ever felt more sexually confident?
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: Never. Obviously.
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: Obviously not. Yeah.
• 29:57
  Speaker 6: Because the sexiest thing that anyone can be is curious.
• 30:01
  Speaker 6: That is the hottest thing. Like that, when you make
• 30:06
  Speaker 6: love like a tourist, what?
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: This place is amazing. Hold on, let me get a picture.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: What does that do?
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: Oh my God, let's try this. I've never tried that before.
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: Have you tried? Let's try something else. Oh my gosh.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: Sangria's for everybody. Like that's how you make love. And
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: then you're just like, you're not, you're just a tourist.
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
• 30:26
  Speaker 6: You're not expecting to be the spotlight and the it.
• 30:29
  Speaker 6: Maybe when you're younger, you're like, there's a phrase on TikTok,
• 30:32
  Speaker 6: whichever they like right now, it's called I'm the birthday
• 30:34
  Speaker 6: or are you the birthday?
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: Which means that like, oh, you think that you're the
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: center of attention. Right. So it can kind of be
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: a drag. Yeah.
• 30:41
  Speaker 6: Like, oh, girl, you the birthday.
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: Like, we get it. You're here, Daisy. You're the birthday.
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: Or you're the birthday. But I think when you're younger
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: and you have sex, you're like, I'm the birthday. That's right.
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: Look what I'm doing. Look at my face. Look at
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: my face.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: Look at my face.
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: Look at my tits. And then you're just like, sorry.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: No, it's okay. You can't phase me. I'm older than her.
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: I don't even want to know. Yeah, but you're the
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: boy with two like crazy girls. And so you get
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: a little shy at that moment. I know him. Okay.
• 31:15
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: Anyway, carry on.
• 31:17
  Speaker 6: So I think when you're older, you're like, it's everyone's
• 31:20
  Speaker 6: birthday or what's a birthday.
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: You know, Cree Summer came.
• 31:24
  Speaker 6: On my podcast and she is an iconic voice actor
• 31:27
  Speaker 6: and as well as an iconic actor, also Canadian as myself.
• 31:32
  Speaker 6: But she turned 50 and she said, there's something so
• 31:34
  Speaker 6: freeing about it because everything kind of just is where
• 31:36
  Speaker 6: it is now. When you're younger, you have the responsibility
• 31:39
  Speaker 6: of trying to be perfect because technically you could be.
• 31:42
  Speaker 6: So you're like, oh, I could be perfect. But when
• 31:44
  Speaker 6: you're like older, you're like, it's just not going to be.
• 31:46
  Speaker 6: This is what it is. And that freedom just allows
• 31:48
  Speaker 6: you to be so much more curious.
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: Here's what's crazy about that. That as that is happening
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: for women also, as you get into your 50s and
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: your 60s, you're also dealing with so much change. And
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: that is not, you may feel that in many areas
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: of your life, but when it comes to sex, that
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: can be where it's really a problem because things do change.
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: And all of a sudden, the woman who was very sexual,
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: all of a sudden either has no interest for it
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: or it doesn't feel the same. There are things happening
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: with her body and her hormones and her mind that
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: And that can be that not can be that is
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: a real issue for so many women. And I'll tell you,
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: for me personally, I decided to take charge of that
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: and do a lot of research and ask a lot
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: of questions and find all the things that I can
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: do to get back to feeling as most like myself
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: as I could. So many women. And when they do
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: reach out for the help, they're told, oh, you'll get
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: past it. And they end up spending their 50s and
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: their 60s not like themselves, not enjoying sex.
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: And unhappy.
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: Unhappy.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: And misunderstood.
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: And the relationship suffers. So while we're getting all this
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: strength in one area of our lives, sexually it's a
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: different story.
• 33:19
  Speaker 6: Can I ask you a question just for an honest answer?
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: Sure.
• 33:22
  Speaker 6: Is there any way for a woman to mentally... I
• 33:24
  Speaker 6: hear women talk, I'm 41, so it's coming for me.
• 33:28
  Speaker 6: I think I know what you mean. Is there any
• 33:30
  Speaker 6: way for me to know what you mean?
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: Not at 41.
• 33:32
  Speaker 6: No. I can't know?
• 33:34
  Speaker 7: No.
• 33:34
  Speaker 6: Not even after having kids or anything? It's going to
• 33:36
  Speaker 6: be like a shock.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: It's a totally different thing.
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: Because I'll tell you something. When I was 40, even
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: when I was 45, I was feeling my most powerful...
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: woman independent and sexually alive self ever and then you
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: get into your 50s and just goes down happens it's
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: like oh wow who am I what is happening I've
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: lost total control What do I have to do? And
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: today the conversation is much more open than it was
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: even 10 or 15 years ago when I started going
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: on that journey.
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: But you also met it so head on.
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: Because of your personality, she was not going to be
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: a victim to it in the same way that some people,
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: some women have to be. First of all, she has...
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: means an opportunity to, and she seized those. She was like, no, no, no, no,
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: this is not okay. And I know that there's something
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: I can do to help all of this stuff. So
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: I'm doing it. She was so proactive.
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: Like I was too young and I had just gotten
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: married and I was too young to be like, oh,
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: this is what my life is now. This is what
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: I have to deal with. Like, yeah, we have to
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: go through that part of our life, but it doesn't have,
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: you don't have to suffer through it. And I think
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: so many women don't, understand that and how much that
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: change within you as a sexual woman can affect all
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: parts of you you know so when you have a
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: relationship where you know sex is a great part of
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: your relationship but now all of a sudden it's changing
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: and you may have a partner who doesn't really understand
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: or doesn't care to understand because I think that's another
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: problem is that men aren't that interested when they have
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: a problem they go get a little pill for almost
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: nothing and their problems are over And it's not the
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: same for women. So it's a real, I think it's
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: really interesting that we're in our most powerful stage in
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: one area and feel so lost in another one.
• 35:50
  Speaker 6: It's so heartbreaking to hear that because you just want
• 35:53
  Speaker 6: to feel like, is it ever over? The suffering, like,
• 35:57
  Speaker 6: Is the turmoil and the change and the upside down
• 36:00
  Speaker 6: and the chaos ever over? But then I think back
• 36:02
  Speaker 6: to your answer when I asked you if you've ever
• 36:03
  Speaker 6: felt more confident and you were like, yeah.
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: This is it.
• 36:07
  Speaker 6: Was it worth it?
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: Um, I don't know. I mean, I don't know if
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: worth it for me.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: Because I, I think I figured it out as much
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: as I could for myself. Um, Is it worth it
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: for women to feel powerful in one area but be
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: struggling with how they feel and who they're becoming and
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: feel helpless? That's not a good situation. So I think
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: that for women, even though the conversation is more open
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: today than ever, for these second chance relationships that happen
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: a little bit later in life, whether you meet someone
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: like I did when I was 46, or whether you
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: meet someone when you're in your fifties or in your sixties,
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: I think that it's really important for men to also
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: understand what women are going through and to really know
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: what their place in that is sexually, because it can
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: change the whole dynamic of the relationship.
• 37:12
  Speaker 6: And that's goes back to the thinking and feeling thing,
• 37:14
  Speaker 6: because Richard and I are in the same boat. We
• 37:16
  Speaker 6: can think that we know what you're talking about. Just
• 37:19
  Speaker 6: haven't felt it.
• 37:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah. So, and, but, the acceptance of that is
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: really important too. And that's why in whatever ways I could,
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: I would just ask her, like, how are you feeling?
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: What do you, what can I do to help that? Or,
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: you know, she was so take charge about it though, because,
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: and we're not talking about just sexually, because the number
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: that it does on a woman's body and her physiology is,
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: you know, it was devastating. Brand new information for me.
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: And it made me, again, really be grateful that I'm
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: a guy because we really don't have anything like that
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: to deal with. Yeah, we have our, you know, men
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: go through, you know, a version of menopause or whatever
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: you want to call it, but it's not, there's no comparison.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: And so for me, to husbands out there or partners
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: out there, be supportive, ask the right questions and just
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: understand that this is the last thing that your partner
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: wants to be dealing with. You know, it's really frustrating
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: for them. You know, and.
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: The last thing when you're going through that is the
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: last thing you need is for your man, your husband,
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: the person you're with to be like, oh, you know,
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: it's just not the same. Like, you're not the same
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: that you used to be. Like, is it me? Like,
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: are you just not into me anymore? Yeah. It's like,
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: it ain't always about you. This is not about you.
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: You're not the birthday. But yes, you are not the birthday.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: But that only, and that's so typical and it's so common.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: So I think, you know, it's so important for men to- Not.
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: The, I was going to say the other side of it.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: I don't know that you can use the term the
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: other side of it with this topic, but there's a
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: point of navigation through it Where if you're lucky, like
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: Daisy has been where she did get answers that she
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: was searching for. And she did find ways to like
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: vastly improve all aspects of it. It's, that's where your
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: confidence comes from now, I think, because you, you know
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: you navigated some heavy shit yeah and now.
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: You're like I got this and the good news is
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: that like you said everything changes the bad news is
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: everything changes and as women that's that's who we are
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: we are always and forever changing. And I know that
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: there's going to be another change. I know I will
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: change again and maybe again, you know, before my days
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: are over. But I've seen enough changes through my life
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: to know that there's always something interesting on the other
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: side of the change. Like don't fight the change.
• 40:07
  Speaker 6: It's just so hard to do that when you're going
• 40:08
  Speaker 6: through it. Would you say you're on the other side now?
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: Um, I I'm, I'm flowing with it. I don't know
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: what that other side is. I think that, you know,
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: as a, for, for, for women, when you lose all
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: your hormones, which is what drives everything, um, there's always
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: adjustments there. There's, you got to stay on top of
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: how you're feeling.
• 40:27
  Speaker 4: You're going to be really in tune with your body
• 40:29
  Speaker 4: and with your mind. And I'm, I think I'm on
• 40:32
  Speaker 4: the other side of the worst of it.
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I think I found a good flow.
• 40:37
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: And I wish every woman would. Yeah, because I have
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: friends where I have given them this advice and friends
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: who are younger than me who are just starting to
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: feel it. And I'm like, bitch, get ahead of it. Bitch,
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: this is the number. This is what you have to do.
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: This is the patch. This is the thing. This is
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: the treatment. This is the, like, look into all of
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: it because you can feel so much better.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: Daisy's like a guru now.
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: And then I have friends who will go to their doctor.
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: who perhaps maybe is an older, more traditional OBGYN.
• 41:14
  Speaker 8: Male.
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: Usually male, but it happens with females too. Where they're
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: just like, oh, that's totally normal. Don't worry. It'll get better.
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: You don't need to go on all of the things
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: and do. And they won't give them prescriptions. They won't
• 41:28
  Speaker 3: try things. And then my friends will come back home
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: and I'll be like, so did you finally get on
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: the thing? And you feel, oh, no, my doctor said
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: I probably should just, you know, write it out that
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: it'll get better.
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: And it infuriates me. Infuriates me because.
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: It's needless suffering. It's needless frustration.
• 41:45
  Speaker 7: Yes.
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: Life is too short to not really enjoy all of it.
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: What a sermon.
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: Amen. I'm talking way too much. I want to know
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: about sex. You got to ask who to talk about
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: sex more. I need you to talk about sex more.
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: That was so beautiful. Let's just like rain on that
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: for a second. Let that grow.
• 42:04
  Speaker 6: That was so lovely and such a good like teaching
• 42:07
  Speaker 6: lesson for all of us. I think that it is
• 42:09
  Speaker 6: hard when it is constant changes. And that's, I mean,
• 42:13
  Speaker 6: that's what we're all talking about right now too, right?
• 42:15
  Speaker 6: Like after you make those big changes and those, when
• 42:18
  Speaker 6: you're changing while your partner is changing and life is
• 42:20
  Speaker 6: changing and people's perceptions are changing, like how do you
• 42:23
  Speaker 6: find a moment to be stable, be sexy, be present?
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: It's hard. Yeah.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: Well, I have way too many questions. I think we
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: should give somebody else a chance. Should we take a call?
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what do we got?
• 42:45
  Speaker 8: Hi, my name is Rosie and I am newly separated.
• 42:51
  Speaker 8: My soon-to-be ex-husband and I met when I was 21.
• 42:57
  Speaker 8: I'm now 37 and finding myself out there dating in
• 43:03
  Speaker 8: a completely different world. I'm just curious, how long is
• 43:10
  Speaker 8: an appropriate amount of time to be dating someone before
• 43:15
  Speaker 8: you sleep with them. Do I go on three dates?
• 43:18
  Speaker 8: Is it okay on the first date? Like, I just
• 43:22
  Speaker 8: don't really know.
• 43:23
  Speaker 7: Thanks.
• 43:24
  Speaker 8: Love your show.
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: It's not one size fits all. That's for sure.
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: What do you think? I think the most important things
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: are consent and intent. Consent.
• 43:34
  Speaker 6: Do we want to do this?
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: Intent.
• 43:35
  Speaker 6: Why are we doing this? Intent is harder to determine
• 43:39
  Speaker 6: in a short amount of time. So if you're very
• 43:41
  Speaker 6: focused on intent, it's not just the act itself, but
• 43:45
  Speaker 6: what you want it to build towards, then I'd probably
• 43:47
  Speaker 6: have a, whatever rule it is for you. It depends
• 43:50
  Speaker 6: on what you do. Cause it varies from the date.
• 43:52
  Speaker 6: You can go on one date with somebody and you
• 43:54
  Speaker 6: guys don't get chased by the police. And then you
• 43:56
  Speaker 6: bump into your mom and then you're, now you're at like,
• 43:59
  Speaker 6: you know, a family barbecue. And then you're like, no,
• 44:01
  Speaker 6: we did a life together. Let's fuck.
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: I've seen you in a lot of situations. My family
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: has met you. That's one date.
• 44:06
  Speaker 6: But like, oh, I actually, when you tell me, I
• 44:10
  Speaker 6: want to do this with you because yes, I want
• 44:11
  Speaker 6: to get off, but also I want to see what
• 44:13
  Speaker 6: we have. And I just want to kind of build
• 44:15
  Speaker 6: on that chemistry. And you look them in the eye
• 44:17
  Speaker 6: and you're like, you shook my mom's hand.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 44:19
  Speaker 6: I can trust you. But if you're like kind of
• 44:21
  Speaker 6: meh about the intent, you're like, if it has, if
• 44:23
  Speaker 6: they do, they do, they don't, they don't, you don't
• 44:25
  Speaker 6: have to put too much stock on it. You just
• 44:27
  Speaker 6: go with how you feel in the moment. But I
• 44:29
  Speaker 6: think that that's the best sex. The best sex is
• 44:31
  Speaker 6: when consent and intent are both there. And that's, like
• 44:34
  Speaker 6: I said, If you're really good and skilled and good
• 44:37
  Speaker 6: at reading people, maybe you can figure that out in
• 44:38
  Speaker 6: the first date. Most people that probably wouldn't give that advice.
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: I think the most important thing is to not feel
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: like pressured into it or to not feel like, oh, well,
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: I owe him this by this point because of whatever reason.
• 44:52
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: I think that's the most important thing. Because it doesn't
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: come back.
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: We think it's a weird thing. Like the exchange.
• 44:58
  Speaker 6: Oh, he's bought dinner. So then I'll give him sex.
• 45:01
  Speaker 6: And then he'll give me a phone call. It's like, no, they,
• 45:04
  Speaker 6: in his mind, the exchange is done.
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: He got food. He had sex. And the next day
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: you're like, that was not worth it. Right. Because I
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: expected more.
• 45:11
  Speaker 5: Why?
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: Or maybe it was.
• 45:13
  Speaker 4: And maybe you're like, yeah, I want to get with
• 45:16
  Speaker 4: you tonight and don't call me.
• 45:18
  Speaker 6: Oh, for sure.
• 45:19
  Speaker 3: I mean, that's why vacation sex is so great.
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 45:21
  Speaker 6: Because not because the sex is better, but because you
• 45:23
  Speaker 6: guys both clearly define. That's why like a hall pass
• 45:25
  Speaker 6: is amazing because you're actually just going there to have sex.
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And I think that for someone who's just coming
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: out of a divorce like that, maybe that is what
• 45:34
  Speaker 3: she needs is just a casual encounter before she's putting
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: too much pressure pressure on like, oh, when is it
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: the right time to have sex or not? It's like,
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: just girl, just find your mojo again.
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: It's like, I think you should speak to you throughout
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: my relationship with Daisy. She's had a couple of female
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: friends who are mature and either are single after a
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: relationship or have never really had a lengthy relationship. And
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: they get to an age and a, and a, point
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: in today's society where they just go you know what
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: i'm i'm out i give up and daisy's like no
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: no no you can't do that you you need to
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: and i think you you're very eloquent about what you've
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: said to these women and i think that some people
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: who are listening to this probably would benefit from that
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: about you're encouraging women to just remind themselves of their.
• 46:34
  Speaker 4: Sexuality sexuality and I think there comes a time when
• 46:39
  Speaker 4: you're out of it for so long that you're not comfortable,
• 46:44
  Speaker 4: you're embarrassed.
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: I don't know what it is. Is it true that
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: the old, if you don't use it, you lose it?
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: I loved your advice. It's simple, mojo. And you know,
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: mojo is like not one word. It's like Mojo, mojo, mojo, mojo, mojo, mojo, mojo, mojo.
• 46:59
  Speaker 3: It has to compound, right? So it's got to keep going.
• 47:01
  Speaker 6: And so you've got to, if you have sex with
• 47:04
  Speaker 6: somebody to get your mojo, but then you feel awkward
• 47:07
  Speaker 6: and ugly and stupid afterwards, that's not mojo. You didn't
• 47:09
  Speaker 6: get your mojo there.
• 47:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: Which is why, look, my top advice to this person,
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: date ugly people. because they'll be so grateful well it's
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: just not even that it's not ugly.
• 47:21
  Speaker 6: Is not a real thing right it's just subjective right
• 47:24
  Speaker 6: so it's not a real thing but there's preference there's
• 47:27
  Speaker 6: people that you're just not head over heels over but
• 47:30
  Speaker 6: you're just kind of maybe they are to you they
• 47:33
  Speaker 6: really prefer you you don't really prefer them but you're
• 47:35
  Speaker 6: like i can go out with them have a good
• 47:37
  Speaker 6: time talk a little bit practice telling my stories give
• 47:40
  Speaker 6: this person a great opportunity i mean don't do that opportunistically.
• 47:43
  Speaker 6: One of my friends, they have a hit podcast called
• 47:45
  Speaker 6: girls got to eat, which is off the concept of
• 47:47
  Speaker 6: women who just go on these dates to eat. So, um,
• 47:51
  Speaker 6: girls got to eat. It's not bad, but it's more
• 47:53
  Speaker 6: just like I could spend, I mean, I'm not going
• 47:55
  Speaker 6: to have sex with either one of you.
• 47:58
  Speaker 4: I mean, the night's still young, but we're having a
• 48:02
  Speaker 4: lovely time, you know?
• 48:05
  Speaker 6: We're having a lovely time. We made most podcasts. I'll
• 48:08
  Speaker 6: never talk to you guys again. I'll never see you again.
• 48:10
  Speaker 6: I might bump into you somewhere. That's the sort of thing,
• 48:13
  Speaker 6: but we're having an amazing time together. So like, that's
• 48:15
  Speaker 6: what mojo is. So it's, if you may, if you
• 48:18
  Speaker 6: kind of lost your flow, when you want to learn
• 48:21
  Speaker 6: how to dunk a basketball, do you wait until the
• 48:24
  Speaker 6: fourth quarter of the final game to try? No, you
• 48:27
  Speaker 6: practice in a low stakes environment. So don't go for
• 48:30
  Speaker 6: the person that you've been like lusting after at your
• 48:32
  Speaker 6: office for like 10 years, but you couldn't because you
• 48:34
  Speaker 6: were in a marriage and like now it's your shot.
• 48:36
  Speaker 6: When like your mojo is way down right now, you
• 48:39
  Speaker 6: want to get that engine up so that when you
• 48:41
  Speaker 6: do those things, it's good, but be ethical and kind
• 48:44
  Speaker 6: along the way.
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: Especially to yourself.
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So what percentage of sex problems are actually sex
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: problems related? and not like relationship problems dressed in lingerie
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: what's because there's a fine line there isn't.
• 49:00
  Speaker 6: There yeah I mean yeah it's a fine line it
• 49:05
  Speaker 6: depends for some people it's not a fine line it's
• 49:07
  Speaker 6: very like they're in boxes and for some people they're
• 49:09
  Speaker 6: the same thing so I think that it would depend
• 49:12
  Speaker 6: I mean if you're having I mean it's obvious answer
• 49:14
  Speaker 6: if you're having erectile dysfunction if you're having vaginismus or
• 49:17
  Speaker 6: pain if you're feeling really dry like there's obvious, very
• 49:20
  Speaker 6: physical things. But then again, those physical things can be
• 49:23
  Speaker 6: a result. I always tell people this, like if you're
• 49:26
  Speaker 6: bracing for me to punch you in the arm right now, right?
• 49:28
  Speaker 6: You're going to lock up so that the impact will
• 49:31
  Speaker 6: be different than if you were relaxed. Now it's a massage, right?
• 49:35
  Speaker 6: So the way that my body interprets, it depends on
• 49:37
  Speaker 6: my state, my emotional state there too. So I just
• 49:40
  Speaker 6: think that it's, it's hard. It's too hard to answer
• 49:43
  Speaker 6: that question.
• 49:43
  Speaker 3: Just, are you happy? Are you good?
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: Do you feel fulfilled? Do you feel like the best
• 49:48
  Speaker 3: version of yourself is possible with them?
• 49:50
  Speaker 6: You know what I mean? Do you like yourself around
• 49:52
  Speaker 6: that person? Do you like your body around that person?
• 49:55
  Speaker 6: Are you curious about your body? Are you curious about theirs?
• 49:58
  Speaker 6: And then, yeah, there's a bunch of other, you know,
• 50:00
  Speaker 6: you can, you can decide where the problem is, but
• 50:02
  Speaker 6: you just know you've got a problem.
• 50:04
  Speaker 3: Is there something when it comes to sex that couples
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: normalize that you think is an actual problem? Like disdain.
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: What do you mean by that?
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: Disdain.
• 50:13
  Speaker 6: Like you're kind of like put off by the person.
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 50:16
  Speaker 3: Like there's a little bit of like.
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: In terms of sex, your sexual relationship, what do you mean?
• 50:21
  Speaker 3: It could even be that.
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: Just having sex with somebody that you really don't like anymore.
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: You're just not curious about anymore.
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 50:27
  Speaker 6: And like you're almost like, I think when I think
• 50:29
  Speaker 6: of disdain, I think of I'm anticipating your next move
• 50:32
  Speaker 6: and I'm already rolling my eyes.
• 50:34
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: This is great. So how do you keep, I don't
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: want to ask that same cliche question. How do you
• 50:40
  Speaker 3: keep the fire alive? But how do you keep that
• 50:42
  Speaker 3: interest alive with someone who like knows where your Spanx is?
• 50:46
  Speaker 6: You're so unknowable. So like if knowing where your Spanx is,
• 50:49
  Speaker 6: is their opinion of knowing you, they don't know.
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: Well, he doesn't even know where the ketchup bottle is.
• 50:54
  Speaker 3: So he definitely doesn't know where my Spanx is.
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
• 50:58
  Speaker 6: I mean, sometimes the truth of the matter is we're
• 51:00
  Speaker 6: so unknowable. There's always more to know. I mean, obviously
• 51:02
  Speaker 6: the more you do, the more new information you get back. So,
• 51:05
  Speaker 6: you know, if you've, if you're not leaving the house,
• 51:07
  Speaker 6: you don't have any friends, you don't have any hobbies
• 51:09
  Speaker 6: or interests, maybe you are completely knowable because you're not
• 51:12
  Speaker 6: getting any new information or input. I mean, as long
• 51:15
  Speaker 6: as you have curiosity, you are unknowable. Like your perspective
• 51:18
  Speaker 6: is going to change from one moment to the next
• 51:19
  Speaker 6: and even feelings, right? Like I could assume that you're
• 51:22
  Speaker 6: still feeling sentimental. You might be feeling hungry now.
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: So yeah. There's the switch.
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: There we go.
• 51:29
  Speaker 3: I feel like we're in tune.
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: We got to flow.
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: Let's take another call.
• 51:44
  Speaker 7: Hi, I've been with my partner now for about five
• 51:46
  Speaker 7: years and I have a very vulnerable sex question. He
• 51:51
  Speaker 7: loves going down on me and I don't love it.
• 51:55
  Speaker 7: What are some tips that you have that can make
• 51:58
  Speaker 7: me feel comfortable for him to go down there?
• 52:04
  Speaker 6: First and foremost, you know, if you like it, at
• 52:08
  Speaker 6: the end of the day, sometimes things swing. So when
• 52:12
  Speaker 6: I first started as a sex educator, the big thing
• 52:14
  Speaker 6: was where's the clitoris? Everyone's like, you can't find that thing, right?
• 52:19
  Speaker 6: And now we all know where the clitoris is. And
• 52:21
  Speaker 6: then we all, many people understand that most women are
• 52:23
  Speaker 6: going to orgasm from outer clitoral stimulation versus penetration. And
• 52:28
  Speaker 6: so I think some men know this information.
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: Not according to porn.
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: Not according to porn. And also not according to everyone.
• 52:35
  Speaker 6: For some people, the head of the clitoris is actually
• 52:38
  Speaker 6: so sensitive that they prefer penetration because they get less
• 52:42
  Speaker 6: direct stimulation of the clitoris, which is the argument that
• 52:44
  Speaker 6: it's all clitoris. It's just in terms of, is it
• 52:46
  Speaker 6: the inner clitoris or the outer clitoris? So some men
• 52:50
  Speaker 6: are like, I have read Cosmo and I know women
• 52:53
  Speaker 6: like clitoral stimulation. So I'm going to give you the
• 52:55
  Speaker 6: best Oh, you know, outer clitoral stimulation, maybe for you,
• 52:58
  Speaker 6: it's your nipples, or maybe for you, it is penetration,
• 53:01
  Speaker 6: or maybe it's the booty, right? Like, so maybe your
• 53:03
  Speaker 6: partner is trying to like be a tour guide on
• 53:06
  Speaker 6: your body. I've read this article, women like this. And
• 53:09
  Speaker 6: then you're like, but I don't. And I know you're
• 53:11
  Speaker 6: trying to.
• 53:12
  Speaker 3: Do a good thing.
• 53:12
  Speaker 6: So if it's that, then that's a different conversation of
• 53:16
  Speaker 6: just like, you know what my friend does? She said
• 53:19
  Speaker 6: that she always tells her partner like things that he's
• 53:22
  Speaker 6: done that he's never done before. Like, I loved it
• 53:25
  Speaker 6: when you were just like going crazy on my nipples.
• 53:28
  Speaker 6: I loved it. And he's like, oh, did you? And
• 53:31
  Speaker 6: he's like, he has not done that. But that's kind
• 53:33
  Speaker 6: of inception. So if you want to steer him in
• 53:34
  Speaker 6: a different direction.
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: Communication.
• 53:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: Well, you can also do it in a kind way.
• 53:38
  Speaker 6: You don't have to do it like, sometimes we think
• 53:40
  Speaker 6: we're talking about sex means talking about what we don't like.
• 53:43
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 53:44
  Speaker 6: And talking about sex should be just like having sex. Fun, spontaneous,
• 53:49
  Speaker 6: curiosity driven.
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: Cool. Hot.
• 53:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 53:52
  Speaker 6: So you can deliver the message without being like, the
• 53:56
  Speaker 6: way that you're licking my vulva is unpleasurable. I want
• 54:00
  Speaker 6: you to stop.
• 54:00
  Speaker 3: So do you think that that is maybe the problem there?
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: Is it that?
• 54:04
  Speaker 3: It could be that or shame. Or shame. Could be shame.
• 54:07
  Speaker 3: It could be as simple as maybe.
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: Or maybe, like, it sounds like the tone of her
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: voice sounds like she was, like, loving about it, about him.
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: But when she said, he loves going down on me,
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: but I don't like it. Could it also be that
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: he's not doing it right?
• 54:24
  Speaker 6: This is why calls don't really work.
• 54:26
  Speaker 3: Where are you at? What's the details?
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: What's the callback number?
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: We need to call you back. Because, yeah, there could
• 54:32
  Speaker 3: be so many different.
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: Wait, so describe what he's doing.
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but sometimes you could. Is it all the time?
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: Because sometimes you could just be like, you're not in
• 54:39
  Speaker 3: the mood for that.
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 54:41
  Speaker 3: And there's nothing wrong with that. You know, if you're
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: just not in the mood for that at that moment,
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: it's different than I don't like it.
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: This sounds like an ongoing problem.
• 54:50
  Speaker 3: But also, if you don't like it, how is that
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: a problem? It's not a problem. You have to say, hey,
• 54:57
  Speaker 3: that's not something I enjoy for this reason or that reason.
• 55:02
  Speaker 3: And is there anything wrong with that? There's nothing wrong
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: with that. Not everybody has to enjoy the most wonderful
• 55:08
  Speaker 3: thing ever. Yeah. Some people don't like pizza. Yeah, they're
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: not my people. We don't eat pizza. Some people hate dogs. No, no,
• 55:23
  Speaker 3: that's exactly what I'm saying. So how do you, that's,
• 55:26
  Speaker 3: but that's, that's fine.
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 55:28
  Speaker 6: I mean, if, like I said, if it could be
• 55:29
  Speaker 6: that it's just too sensitive, that's not her thing. And
• 55:31
  Speaker 6: that's not a bad thing. You can steer somebody somewhere else.
• 55:34
  Speaker 6: You can also, vulnerability is always such a great tool too.
• 55:37
  Speaker 6: Like rather than I don't like, it's like, I don't
• 55:39
  Speaker 6: know what I like. You know, I'm feeling a little
• 55:41
  Speaker 6: bit this pleasure mapping is really great with your partner.
• 55:44
  Speaker 6: Can we have a pleasure mapping session? I've been really
• 55:46
  Speaker 6: curious about my own body of lay. I'm not really
• 55:48
  Speaker 6: quite sure what I like. I'm changing right now. Let's
• 55:50
  Speaker 6: just like go slow and touch everywhere. And then ask
• 55:53
  Speaker 6: her the questions, hard or soft, slow or fast, lube
• 55:57
  Speaker 6: or no lube. Do you want it hot or cold?
• 55:59
  Speaker 6: So wet or dry. So you can ask a bunch
• 56:02
  Speaker 6: of questions and then you map. I also think pain
• 56:04
  Speaker 6: mapping is a really good exercise.
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 56:07
  Speaker 6: Especially like if you're dealing with somebody who has any
• 56:09
  Speaker 6: type of changes for me after having kids, pain mapping
• 56:13
  Speaker 6: was very important because I'm like.
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: Again, the tense up thing.
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 56:16
  Speaker 6: There's a part of my cervix that now really hurts and,
• 56:20
  Speaker 6: And because you don't know where it is, I tense
• 56:22
  Speaker 6: up whenever you're in there because I just don't know.
• 56:24
  Speaker 6: But if I can tell you it's to the right
• 56:26
  Speaker 6: at the back, now we avoid any position that goes there.
• 56:29
  Speaker 6: I can actually relax again. So pain mapping is just
• 56:32
  Speaker 6: as important as pleasure mapping. We could be answering this
• 56:35
  Speaker 6: question so wrong, but guess what? Hopefully that this person
• 56:39
  Speaker 6: is not dealing with shame. And if they are dealing
• 56:41
  Speaker 6: with shame.
• 56:41
  Speaker 3: Yes. Oh my gosh. That's a whole other thing. Because
• 56:44
  Speaker 3: she sounded very vulnerable. Yeah.
• 56:46
  Speaker 4: She started off by saying, I'm going to ask something
• 56:49
  Speaker 4: that's very vulnerable.
• 56:50
  Speaker 3: So it's making her very. And she said it's a
• 56:51
  Speaker 3: second partner too, right?
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: Was it?
• 56:53
  Speaker 3: No, it wasn't.
• 56:53
  Speaker 6: I've been with somebody for five years.
• 56:54
  Speaker 3: For five years. So if you're with somebody for five
• 56:56
  Speaker 3: years and you're still feeling like, oh, he likes to
• 56:59
  Speaker 3: do this. And every time he does this, I'm like, oh, like, oh,
• 57:03
  Speaker 3: that's got to be horrible. Like you've got to talk
• 57:06
  Speaker 3: about that.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 57:07
  Speaker 6: Or ask, you know, like, how does it taste, daddy?
• 57:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Is it okay down there?
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 57:14
  Speaker 6: What does it look like? You know, even if you're
• 57:16
  Speaker 6: just asking, because sometimes that's it too. We feel like
• 57:19
  Speaker 6: we have to construct confidence alone. This is an intimate experience.
• 57:23
  Speaker 6: If I am struggling with shame, if I'm struggling with confidence,
• 57:26
  Speaker 6: we should be working on this together.
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 57:28
  Speaker 6: Because you obviously think I'm amazing. You're having sex with me.
• 57:31
  Speaker 6: So just say that and express that. And like, here's
• 57:33
  Speaker 6: how I like it to be expressed to me. And
• 57:34
  Speaker 6: then Yes, I'll do the work and go to yoga
• 57:37
  Speaker 6: and look at vulva books and find mine and smell
• 57:41
  Speaker 6: myself every day for a month to kind of figure
• 57:44
  Speaker 6: out my sense.
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: Just get really comfortable with yourself. Get really comfortable with yourself. Yeah.
• 57:48
  Speaker 3: That's easier said than done.
• 57:50
  Speaker 6: I mean, not if you make it operational. Get a
• 57:52
  Speaker 6: swab for a month. Get a calendar. Mark it off.
• 57:55
  Speaker 6: Every day, smell yourself. Every day, look at yourself. See
• 57:58
  Speaker 6: it in different, like, or get a vulva book and
• 58:01
  Speaker 6: look through them. Ask friends about what theirs looks like
• 58:04
  Speaker 6: and be like, can you be honest?
• 58:05
  Speaker 3: Honey, what's it look like? It's gorgeous. Not your own vulva.
• 58:09
  Speaker 3: Not their vulva. They're going to talk about their own vulva.
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: Or ask a friend.
• 58:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 58:14
  Speaker 6: Like, what's your vulva looking like, girl? I'm worried that
• 58:16
  Speaker 6: mine's doing something it's not supposed to. Can we talk
• 58:19
  Speaker 6: about it?
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: Hey, can we get the check and then can I
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: see you in them?
• 58:22
  Speaker 3: Look, is that cute?
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: Just real quick.
• 58:25
  Speaker 3: Also, too, that is amazing. Yeah.
• 58:28
  Speaker 2: Do you know what?
• 58:28
  Speaker 6: They were saying that about Love Island. Again, I didn't
• 58:30
  Speaker 6: watch Love Island, just so you guys know. But there
• 58:32
  Speaker 6: was a a relationship between two guys. It wasn't necessarily gay,
• 58:39
  Speaker 6: but it was very... Bromancy? Romance plus. So it was
• 58:43
  Speaker 6: also compliments about like, you look hot today, bro. You
• 58:46
  Speaker 6: look great. Oh, you look like you get in the gym.
• 58:48
  Speaker 3: You look buff.
• 58:50
  Speaker 6: Don't look at me like that. And it may not
• 58:52
  Speaker 6: have even been sexual. This is just what women give
• 58:54
  Speaker 6: to each other. To just be like, let me pump
• 58:56
  Speaker 6: you up for free. Why would I not do that
• 58:59
  Speaker 6: to my friends? Yeah, just pump each other. So maybe
• 59:02
  Speaker 6: your friends too can be like, your vulva.
• 59:04
  Speaker 3: Looks cute in those jeans. You're like, thanks. Like I'm
• 59:08
  Speaker 3: working on my butt and only my friends.
• 59:10
  Speaker 6: Know that nobody in the real world knows because no
• 59:12
  Speaker 6: one my goal is one day to walk and someone
• 59:15
  Speaker 6: is like that fat ass that's your goal That's my goal.
• 59:19
  Speaker 3: That's my goal too. Because let me tell you something.
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: After menopause, you know, you start losing a little bit
• 59:23
  Speaker 3: of muscle. I've never had a booty. And now I
• 59:27
  Speaker 3: have like booty minus. And so I am like, every
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: single exercise is saved. And I'm like, yes, I need
• 59:34
  Speaker 3: to get a booty.
• 59:36
  Speaker 6: But you see, if you told your friends that, and
• 59:38
  Speaker 6: now that I know that, next time I see you,
• 59:40
  Speaker 6: if I see progress, if I don't, I won't lie
• 59:41
  Speaker 6: to you.
• 59:42
  Speaker 3: I'm going to be like, okay, Junior Whopper. Okay.
• 59:48
  Speaker 6: You know, that's what friends do. Yes, group project getting confidence.
• 59:53
  Speaker 3: Yes, it is. It is. All right, let's do one
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 3: more call.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 5: Hey, so my question is, I'm thinking about bringing a
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 5: third person into the bedroom, but I don't know how
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 5: to even start that conversation with my boyfriend. I don't
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 5: know if he's going to be excited or think I'm
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 5: like slutty or weird or I don't know. I'm just
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 5: trying to spice things up and I've always wanted to
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 5: try it. Just wondering how to even bring that up.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 3: Well, this is right up your alley. Don't do it, girl.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 6: You're wondering how to bring it up, then don't, like,
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 6: that's like being like, I'm trying to get to China,
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 6: but you haven't gone to.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 3: The airport yet. You haven't even bought the ticket. You
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 3: didn't research where you're going. There's no hotel when you
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 3: get there. You know what I mean? You're at the beginning.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 3: There's so many steps between we have sex alone to
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: we now invite another person into the bedroom with us.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 3: Strip club together. Maybe just going out with groups of
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 3: friends and kind of flirting. Going out with another couple
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 3: and talking about your sex life. Did you guys watch
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: The Invitation?
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 3: Which that's not, that's an extreme. It's a Hollywood example.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 6: But even think about that conversation happening after four conversations.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 6: Because in most cases, not on, hey, we came over
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 6: to tell you you're having sex too loud. Are we
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 6: going to now offer to have sex with each other?
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 6: It would just be, you're having sex too loud. And
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 6: then like, but did you like to hear it? And
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 6: you're like, oh, then you breeze past it. Then they
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 6: leave and you're like, she said to me. And then
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 6: now you guys talk, it's slow, right? Like the actual
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 6: buildup to the thing is so, Exactly. So you, we
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 6: had a friend, a couple, were you just thinking about
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 6: the same thing?
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 3: So this was like a newer couple friend and they
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 3: had invited us to their house for a dinner party
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 3: and they were lovely. They really were. And we'd had
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 3: a few cocktails. So by the end of the night,
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 3: when we were saying goodbye, you know, instead of like
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 3: the kiss, like they, they both tried to kiss us,
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 3: like make out with like to, to kiss. You know,
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 3: when you're trying to like turn the cheek and you're like,
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 3: like at first it felt like, Oh, Oh, he just
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 3: missed the cheek. And he was, Oh, it was just
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 3: an awkward, it was nothing.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 3: But then the second time we went, we saw them,
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 3: the same thing happened.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: We talked about it in the car. Cause I forget
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: whether you said it or I said it.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 3: Did he try to make out with you? Yeah.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 2: And by the way, both of them with both of us.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 2: It was so funny. And so I was like, yeah,
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: I felt like, nah, it can't be them.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 3: I was like, I really like them, but not that one.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 7: She did too.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, she did that
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: to me too.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: Whatever.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah. But we kind of clocked it and we were like,
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: that was.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: Kind of interesting.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 3: Maybe they were just a little tipsy and it was nothing.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: But then the next time we saw them.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 3: I was like, I don't know. I think this is
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 3: the thing.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: Here it comes.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 3: So you're right.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 3: This would be like the perfect situation where there is
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 3: a little something. And then now you guys have had
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 3: the conversation. Yeah.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 3: No, not with them or just not.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: No, definitely not with them.
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 4: No.
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 2: And I don't think, no, I don't think that I
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: don't think so.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 3: I don't think so. But why do you not think so?
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 3: Why do you think it is?
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: I think that I'm speaking just for me because I
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 2: think it works well for some people. Um, I would see, um,
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: I feel that what we have is ours and it
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: is a choice to be with each other and not
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 2: with anybody else. Um, I can't imagine a scenario where
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: we would both go, let's do that. Because I would
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: be jealous or I would feel, it wouldn't make me
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: feel good. And I don't have the desire to do
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: it with another woman to the point where I'd be
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 2: okay with that. You know what I mean? And I
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: would just never feel comfortable. First of all, I wouldn't
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 2: want to, but second of all, I wouldn't, feel comfortable.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 2: I just feel like that's not our thing.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think with me, I know some people get
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 3: off on seeing their partner feel things and do things
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 3: with somebody else. And I get that that would not
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 3: make me feel good.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 2: Right. That's what I'm saying.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 3: Like, you know, I'm all for like, I want you
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 3: to feel great and have like your best life.
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 2: You're talking about feeling versus thinking.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 2: I can intellectually understand How that's erotic. I totally understand
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 2: it intellectually. But I know that I seeing that would
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: make me feel terrible. Yeah.
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah. That's not an image that I would enjoy. And
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 3: then there's the other question of, you know, well, what
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 3: about if you just if I know that you're having
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 3: a thing, but I'm not seeing it. I think that
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 3: that's a different situation because then you're getting into the
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 3: conversation of.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but then the pictures in your mind are obviously.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 3: Going to be.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 6: Well, okay, look, let me ask you two more questions.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 6: Would you have sex with another couple in the same room?
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 6: You guys are not touching.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 3: No, I don't think I'd be into that. I think
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 3: I would be too, like, too concerned, too in my head.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 3: I would be too not, like....
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 2: The word for me, I can tell you is intimacy.
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 3: Like I don't play well with others. Okay.
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 6: What about a Tantra group class?
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 3: Oh, that might be fun.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 2: There we go.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 6: There's our first plane ticket.
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 2: I feel like you're being, you're grooming us.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 3: No, no. What I'm saying is that this lady is
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 3: asking for that.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 6: And that's going to be, of course, that's a gut
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 6: check to anybody. I was on a podcast actually. And
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 6: the girl was asking me all these open relationship questions.
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 6: And at one point I had to say to her,
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 6: would you eat ice cream if it fell from the sky?
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 3: I was like, would you?
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 6: She was like, what?
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 3: I was like, girl, what are you asking me? Would I,
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 3: if my husband came home with the basketball team from
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 3: the Sparks, would I allow them to mother my children? Girl,
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 6: That's so far from my reality. So incredible. What if
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 6: he this and that? That's not even been remotely close
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 6: to my experience. He's gone on trips and had experiences.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 6: Other than that, you watch my YouTube channels, you know
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 6: my man is obsessed.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 3: You know we're obsessed.
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 6: Like I don't have to live in that reality. So
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 6: that to be said, like when you're asking someone to
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 6: go to a reality that's so far from theirs, why
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 6: would they say yes?
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 6: So find the reality that's somewhat close. Maybe it's a
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 6: webcam person that you guys just do. Maybe it is
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 6: a strip club. Maybe it's even just talking about your
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 6: old sexual partners. Some couples can't do that.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 3: Not just talking.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 6: Don't talk about them.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 6: Be like, I had this one accent. Like this was
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 6: on a podcast once. And this guy told me about.
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 3: This girl who was like a really great squirter and
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 3: she had this magnificent trick.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 6: And he's like, but I could never tell this story.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 3: I was like, why not?
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 5: You know?
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 6: And it's just like, maybe you can even have those
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 6: conversations with your partner. So that, and then see how
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 6: they react to that.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 3: So is that something we can learn?
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 3: Asking for a friend.
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't.
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 3: I'm asking for a friend.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 6: I just think, you know, it's just, it's gradual, it's slow,
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 6: and it should be that. If it's a gut check
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 6: to you, oh, take it off the table.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: I do think that hidden in this conversation that's an
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 2: important thing is the sexual curiosity. I love that we
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 2: have such an open communication about the topic of sex,
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 2: not just our sex life, but just what people do.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 2: And like, I think a lot of people don't feel
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 2: comfortable talking to their partner about it. And we are
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 2: really fascinated with like, what is everybody doing? I want
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 2: to know what everybody's doing. Oh, that doesn't really appeal
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 2: to me. That's not for me, but I want to
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 2: know everything because we're very curious about it. That doesn't
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 2: necessarily mean curious in terms of participation. It just means,
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 2: but my point is, and I think that what your
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 2: point was, even having that curiosity and having open communication
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 2: about it.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 3: Will tell you where you stand.
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 2: And it's also like a never say never kind of thing. Like,
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 2: you know, I just can't imagine, but.
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 6: No, I've, I've never had a threesome. I've, I've never
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 6: had a sexual experience with a woman before. Never even
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 6: done anal before. I know almost everything. I don't know
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 6: almost everything. I know a lot about sex, but I
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 6: also know myself. I know my body. And I'm curious
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 6: about it and I'm interested in it, but I know
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 6: the conditions that it would make sense for me. And
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 6: I just haven't met those yet. So just because you're
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 6: saying yes to curiosity and to intrigue and to conversation,
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 6: it doesn't mean that you're going to jump into it
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 6: because you also may revere and respect. When I hear
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 6: people talk about three and how amazing they've been I'm
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 6: like I want those conditions and like we went once
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 6: and we met somebody in another city we're like this
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 6: was great I'm like you know we came back home
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 6: I'm like do you think we would, if we ever did?
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 6: And he's like, you know, maybe. And I was like, maybe.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 3: We went back to that place. We hung out with
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 3: that person. And I was like, not feeling it.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 3: He's like, neither am I. I'm like, let's go home.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 3: That's awesome.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 2: Can I tell one is this isn't too personal a
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 2: story because I think it's great. Before we got married,
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 2: but we'd been together for a bit. We went to
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 2: a show in New York that was kind of like, Oh,
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: It was an off-Broadway show. It wasn't a Broadway show.
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 2: It was like in a warehouse. It took place in
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 2: a warehouse.
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: It was an interactive.
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 2: It was called See No More.
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 3: See No More Interactive. You guys have a fun life.
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 2: We do. And the concept was groups of people, like
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 2: we went with a group of like eight people. They
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 2: separate you. So no, you don't get to be with
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 2: any of your people.
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 3: It's dark.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: It's dark.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 3: And you're wearing a mask. So everyone has the same mask.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 6: Eyes wide shut?
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 2: It's very eyes wide shut.
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 4: Very.
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 2: But it's... based on, it's loosely based on the Shakespeare play, Macbeth,
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 2: through all these little hints of that story.
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 3: You become part of that story.
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 2: And at one point, and you just wander. You're not guided.
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 2: It's like a big museum of human stuff going on.
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 3: You can't really tell.
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 2: And some of it's like, ooh, there's a clue there.
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 3: There were a couple of parts that were very sexual.
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 2: Well, there was one.
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 3: Define human stuff going on. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 2: Just human interaction, whether it be conversations or arguments in
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 2: this room. And it was all actors.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 6: Like behind a glass, like a museum?
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 2: Like right there.
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 1: Oh, wow.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 2: And you could wander into these rooms. And in one
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 2: of the rooms, there was a couple, they were simulating sex,
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 2: they weren't having sex. There was a naked woman in
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 2: a bathtub in one room.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 3: Since the actors are carrying on while you're walking in
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 3: and out of the rooms.
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 2: So that night, because we both really enjoyed it, but it,
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 2: You know, not that we needed any help, but it
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 2: heightened our hotness for each other to be in that atmosphere.
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 6: You guys had sex in the car.
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean, it's just, it was, well, the best
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 2: thing is that, you know, everybody's wearing a mask and
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 2: you're separated and there's hundreds of people involved in this, right?
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 2: And at one point I'm standing behind like 20 people
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 2: and I'm looking over to see what they're all looking at.
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 2: And I feel his hand grab my ass.
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 3: No, I grabbed your.
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 4: crotch all right i grabbed your junk i feel my
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 4: crotch i came up.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 3: From behind him and grabbed his junk right.
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 2: And i went like this and i turned and i
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 2: realized it was her what did that feel like it
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 2: was amazing it was so hot but i was like
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 2: how did you know it was me because it's dark
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 2: yeah and she's well i was glad it was you
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 2: she said i know And this was kind of still
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 2: early on in our relationship. She goes, I just looked
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 2: over and I saw you. And I was like, oh,
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 2: I know that's him.
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 3: The way you- The aura, the way you stand, the way, like,
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 3: I know your shadow.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 2: I know you. And it was so hot. But my
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 2: point is- Rewind to.
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 3: She grabbed two other guys by accident before grabbing you.
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 2: I don't like to think about that. Finally, you got
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 2: the right one.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 3: I'm playing it.
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 2: I just, I think it's important to like, And that
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 2: is an indication of sexual curiosity and being open and
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 2: not like, like there are relationships where if I'd said,
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 2: and I think it was your idea to go see
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 2: the show, but there are so many relationships where if
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 2: somebody said, Hey, there's this show and it's kind of
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 2: erotic and blah, blah, blah. And the other person would go,
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 2: why do you need to see that?
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 2: Cause it's all insecurity. You know what I mean? Instead
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 2: of being really like, yeah, let's go check it out.
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 2: I'm fascinated by it.
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but those are the best relationships when you feel
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 3: like you can, you know, you're either both not into
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 3: it or you're curious about it. You guys, this is
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 3: so cool. It kind of is. It's so cool.
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 6: You guys are really cool.
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 2: You're very cool. Thank you.
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 3: You're very cool. You're super cool, man. That's so cool.
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 6: Like, you know, people I know who've been together for
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 6: a really long time are just breaking up. And my
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 6: husband was saying to me, he's like, man, if you're
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 6: trying to break up with me at that point, when
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 6: we get to get to the place where our main
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 6: focus is loving each other, that's our number one job.
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 3: Family's decent. Everyone's kind of good.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 6: Things are at a place where you don't have to be,
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 6: if I don't, then this whole thing crumbles. For so
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 6: much of your life, you're like, if I don't get
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 6: up or if I don't do this, this whole thing
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 6: crumbles if I don't go to work. And now you're
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 6: at a place where you're like, Think everything is decent-ish.
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 6: Now we can just love and experiment and try different things.
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 6: Do the podcast together where we get to flirt the
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 6: whole time. Y'all been flirting the whole time.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 3: We have?
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 6: Yeah, the whole time.
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 6: I actually thought that we should have just ended this
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 6: a long time ago.
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 3: Oh, I love that. I truly did. I love that.
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 3: After your first answer to how you feel, when you
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 3: gave that speech, I was like, oh, life is too
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 3: short not to take this moment and just like walk
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 3: out this door. Pick her up. And just be like,
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 3: let's go get ice cream. And I'll just sit here
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 3: and be like, but I'm good. No, but you're right.
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 3: Life is too short to not enjoy yourself, to not
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 3: enjoy your partner, to not enjoy sex, to not enjoy
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 3: all of it, no matter what stage of life you're in.
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 2: If you're lucky enough to be in a dynamic where
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 2: you really like the person that you're with, but that
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 2: you're hot for them, because believe it or not, I
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 2: think that that's not the norm in most relationships I'm
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 2: aware of. There's love there, or there's Heat, but really not, like,
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 2: I know men who love having sex with their partner,
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 2: but they don't really like them all that much. Yep.
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 2: They don't want to sit and talk to them.
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 3: Life is too short for that. You know, how do
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 3: you get to know somebody in this new version of
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 3: their life? Like, let's say you've been married for a
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 3: long time.
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 6: There's a book that I love. It's called How to
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 6: Know a Person. It's by David Brooks, who wrote a
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 6: book called The Social Animal that I love, The Second
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 6: Mountain that I love.
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 3: Incredible mind.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 6: And it's such a phenomenal book because you're like, yeah,
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 6: why isn't this book handed out in schools? Because we're like, oh,
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 6: I know how to know people.
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 3: Do you?
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 6: Because I listen to people listen. A lot of people
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 6: don't listen. They're already thinking about something else and you
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 6: think that you're listening.
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, what were you saying?
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: Truly.
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 2: I know them.
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 3: And then you ask one trivia question. They don't know
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 3: that shit.
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 6: So you're like, okay, so I think that it's just
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 6: something very beautiful what you guys have.
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 6: Where you're just, the harmony is there, the intention is there,
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 6: the fire is there, and the curiosity. I think that's
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 6: the piece that, you know, when you feel like there's
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 6: nothing interesting left to know. I feel like there's a
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 6: lot of interesting things left to know about you guys.
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 3: I hope so. We're going to keep learning. Yeah. We're
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 3: going to keep asking. We're going to keep listening. I'm
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 3: into it all.
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 2: This was really fun and such a pleasure to meet you.
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 3: Pleasure to meet you too. Isn't that so weird? We
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 3: just sat down as strangers and just went. Oh, I
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 3: love that. There should be more of that.
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 2: If I had a nickel for every time I heard
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 2: the word clitoris today.
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 3: I'd have like 50 cents. Well, what great conversation. I
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 3: could talk to Shan all day.
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, it's an endless topic.
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so interesting.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and she's fascinating and I really, really loved it.
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 2: Hey out there, do you guys need advice when it
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 2: comes to dating after divorce or feeling stuck in your
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 2: chapter two? Send us an email or leave us a voicemail.
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 2: All the info is in the show notes. You can
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 2: also follow us on our socials, The Richard Marks.
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 3: Daisy Fuentes.
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 2: And I do, part two. an iHeartRadio podcast where falling
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 2: in love is the main objective.