Latest / Quick Wins for ADHD Moms - Short Episodes, Real Solutions for Burnout and Overwhelm / End the Burnout Cycle: The ADHD Secret to Cycles and Seasons | 016

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End the Burnout Cycle: The ADHD Secret to Cycles and Seasons | 016 · Quick Wins for ADHD Moms - Short Episodes, Real Solutions for Burnout and Overwhelm

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: Well, hey, this is Quick Wins for ADHD moms.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Jess, and today, today is really fun.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: We have a special guest, and I've already been chatting with her, and she's amazing.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: You are, you're gonna love her.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: This is Ada Gore.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: She's a public speaker and guided journal creator with a background in conflict management and consulting for dental practices and entrepreneurs.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: She's passionate about helping people get clear on what they want and how to move forward.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we get in our own brain and we just can't figure it out.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: And it's nice to have people like Ada who can help us get out of our own brain, get clear on what you want, and learn how to move forward.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: So today, Ada brings a gift to women everywhere, especially for those of us ADHD moms, through her lineup of guided journals and her inspiring talks.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: Her mission, her message is simple but very transformative.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: When we align with the natural rhythms of our bodies, we can biohack our way to greater productivity, deeper rest.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: Who doesn't want deeper rest?
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: And a life that feels more abundant and fun.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I would like to introduce Ada.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for being on the show.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm glad to be here.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: So tell us about your quick win, and then we're gonna go in and let you explain it.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: So the quick win is permission slips.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Permission slips per inner season.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: And to give you just a quick rundown of what an inner season is, it's a way of looking at your menstrual cycle through the four seasons rather than luteal and follicular and all these words that don't necessarily have a place to land.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's looking at it as winter, spring, summer, fall, back into winter.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: So winter is when you're menstruating, into spring, when all your hormones kick back online and you start to blossom into summer when you are just full of energy, full of estrogen, full of progesterone, ovulating, and then into fall when it starts to get chilly again and the leaves are falling off and you're wanting to retreat back inward and you might be a little bit spicy into your winter.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I like that.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: The pumpkin's spicy.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, pumpkin's spicy.
• 2:22
  unknown: Yeah.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's perfect.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's a wonderful way to look at that.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I um well dive in it a little bit more and tell me how you know how do you track that or know what season you're in and things that you look for.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: So with ADHD or ADD, I don't I don't have the hyperactive part, but my husband and all my children do.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and our time blindness that a lot of us can have.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: What I struggled with when I was younger is understanding, you know, when you're in your summer, it's and you are so capable and you can get so much done, but then that drops off into fall and you're pre-menstrual and you're cranky and you're tired and you're wanting to eat more food.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're not paying attention to your menstrual cycle, and as I wasn't, I just kind of knew when my period would come and that it would come each month.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like that was important to me.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't tracking all the changes that happened, and so I would have these expectations of myself to always be who I am in summertime, to always have all the energy, to always be able to overcome my time blindness, to always be able to organize and food prep and all those things.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so tracking this, very lightly tracking it with like, oh, I'm in my winter, oh, I'm in my spring, I'm in my summer, I'm in my fall, and attaching a permission slip so that you don't have another thing to guilt yourself out about.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like when you leave your summertime, which was like just yesterday, it was summer, you know, and all, but now it's like I'm cranky and I don't want to eat healthy, and I don't, or or I d I don't want to deal with this person right now, or why are my children driving me up the wall?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like who, why all of a sudden do I just suck?
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Or, you know, why am I so tired?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: So these permission slips, the idea is it's a very simple mantra, and you can write it down, which is really helpful, you know, to get it out of our prefrontal cortex and to calm us down.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Put it on a page or on a sticky note, put it on your mirror, or just say it as a mantra.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I'm in my spring, it's okay to start new things.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know, sometimes it's like we kind of get down on ourselves, especially when we have ADD and we're moms and we're busy.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like we start all these projects, but we don't maybe always finish them.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: We lose steam on them.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's okay.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay for me to start something fresh.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have to finish it right now.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: I can just start it.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I can trust that I'll finish it at some point.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: And in my summer, it's okay to shine.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like right now, I feel frisky and fun, and I want to go, I want to go out of the house, and that's okay, and I can make space for that in my life.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: And when I'm in my winter and I'm menstruating, it's okay to rest.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay, it's okay for me to rest.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: And just reminding yourself that you're not like this forever.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: You're not like this all the time.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: Even though it feels like it.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: Winter feels so long, and it feels like I guess this is the new me.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I guess I'm just a swamp who stays in my pajamas and bleeds and doesn't do anything.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: And my kids are just like, I'm not having like wonderful meals that I'm cooking for them.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, sometimes it's like hamburgers and fries.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't remind yourself, like, I am a woman, I follow the moon, I have inner seasons, and they're okay.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: They're actually perfect and really well designed for me.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm supposed to rest right now, and my kids are okay.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: And this the spring chicken, she's coming back, you know, and then the summer queen, she'll be back too.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: And everything can wait.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay to rest.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay to start new things.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: And in fall, this is like a nice way of saying I have my own personal mantras that I won't share here because this is G-rated, but it's okay to edit is a is a way to look at it.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like to so in your fall, it's wonderful to think about like in the fall, you know, all of a sudden like the trees are naked and bare.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like that's what becomes true in our life is all our relationships and things that aren't working, they're naked in front of us when we're in our fall.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: All of a sudden it's like, you know, something that a week ago would not have bothered me does bother me in my fall.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that's by design.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's for me to look at it and say, well, maybe it bothers me because there's something not working here for me.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's that I haven't put a boundary in place or that I'm pushing too hard in my summer, and I maybe need to like dial things back, or it might be like I'm not supposed to be in this position, in this career, in this whatever.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: And when I'm in my fall, I have the clarity.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: The truth is laid bare, and it's okay to edit and pay attention to that.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, the reflection part I think is so important to move forward and also to to not have to take action on anything.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe this is just a time of getting clarity, but we don't have to take action on it until we've been through winter, and then maybe summer self can take care of that in a very tactful way.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's you that you nailed it, Jessica.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's exactly right.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like I always say, and I this is I inherited this from the people that have taught me, but bleed about it.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: Bleed about it.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know, bleed about it.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's gonna come up in fall, and you you know, in my younger days, I just rushed right into all that conflict.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, like I've got conflict management as my degree field for a reason.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: But learning I'm an expert.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Uh learning how to just witness it in the fall, it and and then bleed about it because you get clarity when you slow down and rest and you get quiet and you allow yourself to rest instead of being upset of like, why can't I just be on all the time again, you know, especially if you have that hyperactive m model, it's like you still need rest, and maybe even more so.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: So finding ways to dial that in.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: So that's one of the reasons that I have guided journals, and my number one, the the journal that I it's my favorite, is called Sacred Seasons, and it's a journal that's made for ADHD or ADD women because it doesn't have a ton of structure, it's a lot of blank open pages with just gentle prompts if you need them, but otherwise just pour your heart out.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Little there's a little bit of structure, but not a lot, because I hate that.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um it it's just it helps you, it compartmentalizes the seasons.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: So you just journal, you know, if you're in spring, you journal spring and you journal the day of your cycle, and what's up?
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, are you how are your hormones?
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: How are your how are your emotions?
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: How are your whatever you need to say, whatever you need to focus on, whatever you're looking at as you're learning to pay attention to your cycle, it's also a great place to write your permission slip of like, you know, I listened to one of your episodes where you were talking about time anchors.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: And this is kind of like that.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's a little bit of a time anchor about remembering that you have a menstrual cycle.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: You were talking about it's okay going into your, you know, you're gonna be going into your um fall season.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so giving yourself permission to enter that.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, permission slips.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: This is a it's it can be, you know, that whatever, you know, we talk about on your show.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: I've been listening, I've been like binging all your episodes.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but just talking about what little things can land that that make you a little bit better, that make make it a little bit easier to be you and enjoy it.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so for you, I I love hearing other people what they do because I have my own little weird things.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: But like, so for you, what are your little anchor points or what are the things that that like keep you grounded?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Well, this has been a huge one.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Just I lived so much of my life, like not even really being cognizant or aware of how important my hormones and my menstrual cycle were.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: I just it just was not something that was taught to me.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: And or, you know, other than track it.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: You need to know that you're having it monthly, you know, you need to kind of know when it's coming.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: And for most of my life, honestly, it'd be like, I would get my period and I'd be like, oh yeah.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why I've been so, you know, tired or wanting to eat so much.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not just a fat slob, you know, that's why.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I'm tired.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's why, you know, like it was a shocker every month when that would happen.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: It still is for me.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm terrible at writing stuff down.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, there it is.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, hello.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: I have my beard.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so being like shocked by that every month was not serving me, especially as a mom with my kids, because now when I give myself permission to like be a woman, to have a cycle, to have hormonal changes, to have different needs than what my husband has, to have different needs than what the workplace tells me I should have, to really understand that actually I'm a woman and I'm a mom.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that means that I need to slow down a lot more than I thought.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I need to nourish myself with more food than I needed in the summertime.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: When it was summertime, I was active and I was doing all these things.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't even hungry.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: But I still need to nourish myself, obviously.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: But in the fall and in the winter, I need a little bit more because my body is is shedding and having these drastic hormonal changes.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that's all okay.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like sometimes I tell myself it's okay to eat.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because I get all weird about like, well, but you know, three days ago, like just a salad for lunch was totally fine.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Why is it all of a sudden I want to I want bread?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just like, you know, so these permission slips, they help for me, they really help anchor me into my body and into the time of my body instead of having it constantly be a surprise that I'm different every day.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not that we're the moon.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: We're not the sun.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Men run on that solar, you know, they have their high testosterone in the morning, it dips a little, they have a trough in the afternoon, then they have a resurgence in the in the you know, evening, and they get more energy.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: We also have that, that circadian rhythm, but a larger governor for us is like the moon, where it waxes and it wanes, it comes following, it becomes new.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: There's we're every day changing.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: If you watch the moon, every day it's a little bit smaller and then it's gone, and then it gets a little bit bigger and then it's huge.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's us.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: We're more like that, we're different every day.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so with our time blindness and all the other layers, it's so easy to forget that.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so this helps anchor me into my body and then into like my life.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, okay, I gotta manage my inner season, be aware of my inner season, give myself permission to be in my inner season, and then I can go about my life and like remember how to do that.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, that's it's amazing.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I think with ADHD, we do have that disassociation with our bodies, right?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: And so many people have told me, like, oh, have you done yoga?
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: You you would love, like it would be so good for you.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I don't have the patience to just go slow and stretch.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yes, it feels good.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's wonderful, but like to do that every day, I right?
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: But it's a it's that connection that brings slows your brain down, connects your body to your movement.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so I love this.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: Anytime you can get a have a little bit of a structure and have a flexible structure.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: And this definitely fits within that.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, it's just a natural flow, and our hormones are slowly going up and slowly going down, and it's just like this beautiful rhythm.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I love how you brought out if we can just work with that, like it just can take away some of that mom guilt and give us permission, give us permission to live a full life.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: And again, like if you're oh sorry, but if you're if you're a high, if you're a high performer, yes, like if you're uh if you're that achiever, if you're that harness this, like take a look at it and just know, because like we always, you know, with our time blindness, we're like, there's only now, and then there's everything else.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: But actually there are seasons, and if you can, it's been really hard for me, but I've slowly been able to, I'm not, I'm not perfect at this either, but I have slowly been able to look at my calendar because I track it, obviously, and I journal it, and understand that like when the summer comes, that's when I take the kids to the zoo.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's when I do all those things.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's when I to that's when I go on a podcast because I actually want, you know, to get in energy and excitement.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: My body is really supporting me in that.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't want to schedule a podcast during my winter.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, because it I'm I'm gonna be like, oh God, why did I do this to myself?
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like I just want to be on the couch in my pajamas, you know, and obviously life goes on.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: That does not mean that when it's winter time, you don't have to like go out and yeah, gather firewood and stuff.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like you it's you gotta do the things.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: And it and it does.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: It takes more, like you can still do it, but it just takes more energy out of you, right?
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas summer, it just feels more like a natural, like it gives energy instead of takes away the energy.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so you can you can begin to, as you become aware of this.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: This is like, I never I never would have thought that my mission in life would be like to teach women about their period and their menstrual cycle.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: But it took what third grade, fourth grade, like health class or whatever, yeah.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm like, I want to go talk in schools because I just I was never ever taught.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's just not I don't know if it's just my sphere or if it's like a lot of women are just not really taught this.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: But it's actually really magical and it really serves you really, really well, this whole rhythm.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so important and it's so powerful.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like my soapbox to just be like, track your cycle.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: Not just when you get your period, not just that you get your period, not any of that.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: Just like really track because you can get it down to where like you know that on day 12 you get all your bright ideas or whatever.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: You can really, like you, specifically you have your own rhythm within that, where it's like, okay, you know, on day 20, I'm gonna want to go on a date with my husband.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: I need to keep him like in tune that this is coming, which like that may sound like a lot of structure for a lot of us.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: You don't it does not have to be overnight.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like the very first thing you can start doing is just start looking at it and like this week is my fall, this week is my winter.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: They just just gentle structure.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: I like it.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just week by week it's a season, and you know, I always think about like spring and fall tend to be people's favorite seasons, they're mine, because they're transitions, and transitions actually can be kind of ugly, uh messy, chaotic.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like in the spring, it's like some stuff's coming up, but there's still mud, and in the fall it's like really beautiful, but it's also death and dying, you know, and so it's the same for us, and so like remembering that those transitions, your spring and your fall, are can be chaotic and messy, and that's okay.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's like actually really beautiful.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: So just enough structure if you can just have a little mantra of like it's okay to be messy, or it's okay, it's okay to not have it all together, or you know, I was listening to your episode about um just pick a small area.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, don't do your whole house.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: Don't do your whole house.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's the same thing with this.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: You do not have to all of a sudden be like, I know that on day 12, you know, like just become aware.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe this is the first time that you're hearing about inner seasons, and you're like, oh snap, that's kind of nice.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: I like looking at it that way.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm never, you know, never resonated with the like follicular phase.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: How am I supposed to know I'm in my follicular phase?
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm not a doctor.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: But if you can, we all know the seasons.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: We all have some anchor points for okay, it's colder and I want to be inside, or it's really warm and beautiful, and I want to go play in the water and it's messy, whatever.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: Just become aware of that and start to see how it bears fruit in your life as you give yourself permission to be a woman and have inner seasons.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, Ada.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: I think what you've said, it it just simplifies a complex process, a complex natural process, but you just simplified it.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I love how you tied it to how our ADHD brains work and how we can biohack it, you know, in a way.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you so much for being on the show today.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: If someone wanted to reach you, how can they find you?
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Well, so I these journals are kind of new.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: I just rolled them out.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I've got an author page on Amazon and it's just Ada Gore, Guided Journals by Ada Gore.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: And on Instagram, it's Ada Gore444.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: We'll link to those in the show notes to make sure everybody has those too.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: So we all can connect with each other too.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: You know, just we all have our own little specialties, and I just love that we could just support each other with information, with encouragement, with ideas, with anchor points, with all of the things.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: So Ada, thank you so much for being on the show today.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate it.