Latest / The Entrepreneur's Wife: Finding Purpose as the Helper of a Small Business Owner in a Feminist Obsessed World / Stop Making Excuses & Start Building the Life You Desire

Transcript

Stop Making Excuses & Start Building the Life You Desire · The Entrepreneur's Wife: Finding Purpose as the Helper of a Small Business Owner in a Feminist Obsessed World

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: What is up, guys?
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Entrepreneur's Wife Podcast.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Carly Rains.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, I do have the hiccups.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: If you're new here, this is a podcast where we talk about finding purpose as the helper to our small business owners in this feminist obsessed world.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: And today we're gonna talk about a pretty heavy topic, um, and that is excuses.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: We as humans come up with a lot of different excuses for a lot of different reasons.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, again, I do have the hiccups.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and we justify these reasons as to why or why we didn't do XYZ.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I wanted to talk about this because my husband, Briston, is very um adamant about eliminating excuses, owning up to why you did or why you didn't do something, um, and making us as an organization with Texas outlaw and just people in general understand that you're not achieving your goals probably because you're coming up with too many excuses.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Excuses limit us from actually achieving what we want to achieve.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I think in the moment we think an excuse is going to, you know, it's it's basically justification for, like I said, why or why we didn't do something.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: So in the moment you think, oh, well, this is a valid reason.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: But over time, if it's repetition and if you're not figuring out a way to get to where you want to be, the excuse is really the obstacle that is limiting you from living a life that you want.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I realized this when I um kind of this season, I'm currently getting pursuing a doctorate in English at Liberty University, and we study great literature, we study the greats that came before us.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And as we're studying these greats, I am realizing that if I want to be a great writer, if I want to be a great author, if I want to be a great speaker, if I want to be a great runner, if I want to be a great wife, a great Christian, um, fill in the blank.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: If I want to be a great business owner, whatever it is, a great friend, a great person, I I have to mimic the greats that came before me.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: I have to look at what did they do that worked, what did they do that didn't work, why did it work, what were their priorities, what were their mindsets, what did they focus on?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like I need to study them, study what made them so great, and then do that.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And the great artists, um, I think about them because when I was in graphic design school, I learned that the great artists back in the day would actually copy the techniques of those who were great before them, and then once they got down those techniques, then they could go out and adventure on their own and come up with their own techniques, but they first studied the successful techniques of the artists that came before them, and I think too often we are looking at our life and we are saying, whether we know it or not, we're saying, I can't achieve this goal because of this obstacle that's in my way.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: And rather than take like a student mentality and a student mindset and learn and adapt and adjust, we're just gonna sit in our excuse and we're gonna let the excuse be the reason, and we're gonna blame the excuse, and when we're on our deathbed, we're gonna look back and we're gonna have a bunch of excuses.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: We're not actually going to have the life that we want.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: I it's funny because we talk about business, you know, because this is the entrepreneur's wife podcast.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about business, but this can be applied across the board.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: This can be applied in your faith.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Why why aren't you more mature as a Christian and growing deeper in Christ than you are?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, you know, we have kids.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm I'm busy.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: My job is just taking up so much time, you know.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, fill in the blank, right?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, what about your fitness?
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, when was the last time you worked out?
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I don't have time to work out.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Well, why don't you have time to work out?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, you know, we're just busy as a family.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: We're we're going here, we're doing there, I work all day, I have a full-time job, you know, but they have activities in the evening, whatever it may be, right?
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Those are your valid reasons.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, financially, okay, why don't you have a savings account?
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Why are you not investing in retirement or investing at all?
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, you know, we we had to buy this house or we had to buy this car because of XYZ, right?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: There's always a reason.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: There's always a reason, there's always an excuse.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I've learned this with friends where, you know, maybe I didn't agree financially with a decision that they made, and I asked them like why did you make that decision?
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: They will always come up with a reason for why they made that decision.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just saying, guys, that we if we're not willing to put in the work and if we're not willing to sacrifice what the greats did before us, how can we expect to have that great life that we think we want?
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you get what you put in, you put in hard work, you're gonna get hard work.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: You put in the work, you're gonna get it in return.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: But I sadly I feel like we are so comfortable with blaming others and being lazy that we don't take and and I want to clarify when I say being lazy, don't get me wrong.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: You're busy.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: I know you're exhausted, I know you're tired, I know you're sitting there and you're like, Carly, I'm not sitting on the couch doing nothing.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: I I am doing something all the time, 24-7.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: There's something going on.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I get it.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: That is our life too.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's very easy to have a busy life.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's very hard to have a productive life.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm learning that.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's so easy to fill my day up with stuff.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: And by the end of the day, you know, Briston comes home and he's like, hey, what did you do today?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh, I did this, this, this, this, right?
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: And it and it's like, well, hang on.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Did I actually do anything productive?
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh or was I just busy?
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: So when I say lazy, I really mean intentional.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, are you intentional with your time or are you just lazy with your time?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And you're like, my time's gonna fill up with whatever it is that comes first.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: You learn this in management.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: So when you're I did like a management training course, and they do this in like leadership trainings.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you learn this, it's a graph.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: I forget what the graph is called, but you have at the top, you have four boxes on one side, you have one box that is important and urgent.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Uh next to it, you have important but not urgent.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Below it, you have not important but urgent, and then you have not important and not urgent.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: And when you go through a leadership training, they tell you you are supposed to categorize your tasks in these appropriate boxes.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, for instance, feeding my kids breakfast, okay.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: That is important, and depending on how hungry they are, that might be urgent, but that is an important task, okay?
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, taking out the trash, okay, that's not necessarily super important, but it might be it might be urgent because the trash might be overflowing and I need to replace it.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um going through emails and answering emails.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: That might be urgent, but is it important?
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: So it's figuring out what are my important tasks that are gonna take time that aren't necessarily urgent, but they are important.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: And what are the things that are might be urgent but might not be important?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then what are the things that are not urgent and not important that I'm just filling my time with?
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: So a lot of times we come up with excuses because we actually aren't planning and scheduling our life how we should.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I really do think about when I set out the goal in college to write a book.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: I set out, I would love to read, and I set out a goal.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, you know what?
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: I want to write a book, I think I can do it.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: I love creativity, storytelling, all the stuff.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: I had all the passion behind it.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: When you get an idea and you want to do something right, I had the drive, the passion, the motivation, and it was all there, inspiration, all of it.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I sit down to start this book idea, and y'all, it's hard.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just I'm just gonna say the path to success, whatever that success is, whatever that goal is, whatever that objective is, it is hard.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's not an easy path to get there.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so I sit down to work on this book, and I realize very, very quickly this is an important task to me, but it's not urgent.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: I have homework assignments that are urgent.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: I have I was in college athletics, I have practice that is urgent, I have other stuff, laundry and just other stuff, sleep, food, eating.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: I have other stuff that technically is more urgent than writing a book.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And slowly over time, because I did not schedule in to write a book, it got thrown on the back burner.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: I never, I never really would work on it during the semester.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I kept telling myself, this was my excuse, guys.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: I kept telling myself, well, I'm gonna have more time during you know, winter break and summer break, and I'll have more time to work on it.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Well, guess what?
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Winter break, summer break would come and I would get a full-time job and I would be really busy again, and other things would take priority, and I would work on it some, but not as much as I should have made time for it.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: And again, the excuse of well, I'll have more time when the semester starts back and I go back to school and I can have more time to work on it.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: This was the cycle that I went through.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: My excuses that I went through over and over and over again.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: And guys, I dreamed and imagined and daydreamed about this book.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I wanted in my head, I wanted this book to come to fruition.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to write the book, but I did not plan my life accordingly to make that happen.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I see this across the board when it comes to fitness, but really just any goal that you're setting, you can't rely on motivation.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Motivation is the spark, but in order to keep the flame fired and aflamed and keep it going, you have to have wind, oxygen, wood, gasoline, like fuel to the fire.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: And your fuel to the fire, if it is motivation, it is going to dwindle.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: So my first tip for us is really evaluate what are my excuses?
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are the things that I want to accomplish?
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I was always taught in college there is the seven F's.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: And the seven F's incorporate your entire life, and that is your faith.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: And you set goals based on these seven F's.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: So that's your faith.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: What goals do you have for your faith for growing closer to God?
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: What goals do you have for your finances?
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: What goals do you have?
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Family goals, whether that's marriage goals or with your kids, friends.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: What friend goals do you have?
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, especially when we're as adults and we get a job, it is you have to be so intentional to hang out with adult friends.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: You don't just accidentally hang out with adult friends, you have to make time for that.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, your fitness, what are your fitness goals?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: And again, we are so busy with all these other things that we have put our health on the back burner.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, as Americans, we do not take care of ourselves like we should, and it shows with how much heart problems we have and just medicine and all that guys, a lot of the issues that we're facing today um could be solved just simply by eating a well-balanced diet and moving your body every day for at least 20 to 30 minutes.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that would solve half of our medical problems, I'm sure.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, what are your fitness goals?
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what are your fun goals?
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: What's a hobby that you have always wanted to do?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's sewing, maybe you wanted to start a business, maybe I mean, fill in the blank, okay?
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, your finances, what's a finance goal?
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: If I missed an F, I'm sorry.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: But these are the seven F's to your life.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: You can look them up.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you make a goal for each one.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the key is planning.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: We have to actually plan and schedule out how and when we are going to work on these goals.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: So it actually took me scheduling in writing time in order for me to start working on this book.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because for the longest time, I would say, Oh, I will work on it when I finish my homework, or again, during the summertime when I have more time.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, more time never came.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't know.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I was just very ignorant thinking, I thought more time would come, the perfect time, if you will.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's a big thing with our excuses, is we make excuses because we're expecting a perfect time or a perfect scenario to come.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: And and we live in a fallen world, guys.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's like it's never gonna come.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's never gonna come.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: We're always going to have other things that are going to challenge or try to take the time that we want to use towards whatever goal we're wanting to work on.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we have to be aware of that.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: I think we have to be aware of what are my excuses, okay?
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: So a big excuse with fitness is I have kids and I'm exhausted.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: I also have narcolepsy.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: So not to like one up people who don't have narcolepsy, but narcolepsy, you don't get good sleep.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: You can't control whether you're awake or you're asleep a lot of the times.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I could use the excuse that, oh, I can't work, like I can't do anything productive.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: I, you know, have to be a vegetable because I have this condition and I have kids.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Or, you know, I can't exercise because I have this condition, or I can't further my education and get a doctorate because I have this condition, right?
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: Fill in the blank.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: But what I found is yes, you might have circumstances that are an a hindrance to your goal.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: For instance, narcolepsy.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: It is a hindrance to my goals.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of authors write when their babies and their toddlers nap.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Well, because I have this condition, that is a time that I have to take to also nap.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: I nap when they nap.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: So that 30 minutes to an hour that other authors are getting on a daily basis to write, I don't have.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I could say, well, I'm not gonna be an author.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: My excuse could be because I have to take a nap.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it is a valid reason, but I could also look at that and say, you know what, I do have to take a nap.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is factual, I have to take a nap.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm not going to use my nap as an excuse to not get any writing done because there are 24 hours in a day.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm sure I can find some time, whether it's 20 minutes or whether it's an hour and a half, I can find some time to work on my writing.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I will say, Briston and I have had to have those conversations where sometimes in the evenings after dinner, I'm like, hey, babe, I've watched the kids all day.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: I want to get some stuff done.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Can you watch the kids?
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a conversation that we have.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: But I think it's being proactive.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: You you it's moving towards finding a solution, not just focusing on the problem.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because if we continue to always focus on the problem, we're never actually gonna solve any of the issues that we want to solve.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: I believe we all want to be fit, we all want to look good, right?
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: We all want to be in shape, we all want to be financially stable and secure, we all want to have these certain things, a great marriage, a thriving family.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: We we all want these things, right?
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: A successful business.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: And but the issue is are we actually looking and trying to create solutions towards these things, or are we just simply using our problems as excuses for not moving forward?
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that's a question I really want us to reflect on.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: I have this quote Um, we have to want the process as much, if not more, than we want the outcome.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: And the process is hard.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I have never written, I mean, now I have, but at the time when I was in college, I had never written a book before.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: And if you go on this quest to write a book, you find out very quickly it's not as easy as it looks.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually very difficult, especially finishing the book and following through.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I had to realize I was dreaming of what it was like, right?
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like all the pros.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: You just you dream of all the pros of oh, being a best-selling author and going on book tours and doing book signings, having people post about your book and all the fun, exciting stuff, right?
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're thinking about that, and it's good as motivation, but very quickly I had to learn that I also equally had to think about the writer's block moments and the moments where I read my writing and it sounds like crap to me, and the moments where I don't know how to write this scene, or I don't have ideas on how to get my characters from point A to point B, or you know, like these are the hard moments, and I have to also enjoy that process because that is a is is 50%, if not 75%, of the process.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we have to realize we have to, you know, like they say, it's about the journey, not the destination.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like you have to learn to enjoy and rejoice and be thankful for the journey and the process rather than just focusing on the destination.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, the destination is the goal, but your character and who you are is going to be built in the process.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I think about fitness.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Fitness is a big one.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone wants to finish the marathon and run the marathon, but how many actually want to train for it?
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: Or I think about college athletics, everybody wants to win, everybody wants the gold medal, but how many during off-season actually want to put in the work that it's going to require to get the gold medal?
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: And we come up with these excuses for why we didn't do it.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, my genetics weren't good enough.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I this, oh, I didn't, I that, you know, right?
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope you're seeing my point that I I'm not trying to focus on we're bad people.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just trying to say that we gotta we gotta realize that we are more capable than what we think we are, and in order to be successful in what we want to be capable in, we have to quit with the excuses.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: The excuses gotta stop.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: Another point I want to make is are we too busy?
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, are we focusing actually on the right things?
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: And this is something a great friend of mine and I have had to discuss because we are not good at saying no to things, and just because an opportunity presents itself doesn't mean you should say yes.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I think as Christians, we need to understand that our time is very valuable.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we only have so much time.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know, they uh she went on this mission trip and they were just so blown away by just the focus of discipleship where they went overseas.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: And she was saying, you know, as Americans, we're so busy, like we fill our calendar full to the brim.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: We don't even have time for our neighbor, we don't have time for friends, we don't have time for true fellowship and discipleship like we should, and like scripture talks about.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: And she was saying that the mission trip leaving, coming back to America, it was just she just reflected on like what am I saying yes to that I probably should say no to.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the thing that I want you to understand is I had to learn this and I had to come to terms with it, and I am much better at it now than I was at the beginning of the year, but saying no might be hard, but in order to give your best yes, you have to learn to say no.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: You can't say yes to everything and expect to be great at whatever it is you want.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I I want to be a best-selling author, I want to be a phenomenal author that writes incredible stories and just gives people hope.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: And just I wanna be a great author.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: I want I want my books to be like the great literature that we're studying right now in my doctorate, and that's a desire that I have.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: But it's gonna take a lot of work towards writing, it's gonna take a lot of craft, it's gonna take a lot of practice and.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: If I am saying yes to everything else that throws itself my way, I never will have the time to actually give the thing that I want a chance.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: My plate will be so filled with everything else that I'm only gonna be average.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm only gonna be okay.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, there's talent and yes, there's skill, but at the end of the day, craft, in order for you to master something, it requires a lot of practice.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so learning to say no, I think is something that we have to do.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: And again, going back to excuses.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if you're in the middle of something right now and you know, hey, this is this is taking so much of my time.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: I shouldn't be doing this, I shouldn't be making time towards this.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: But in your head, you're making excuses for, well, like let's just finish it out for this season or let's just do this or let's just do that.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: I really want to challenge us to look at our lives, look at what we're saying yes to, and then actually go to prayer and asking the Lord, what is it that you want me to focus on during this season?
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what do I need to pursue during the season?
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: I I've shared this in multiple episodes, but at the end of 2025, I was so overwhelmed with all these ideas that I wanted to do.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: And the Lord, I was like, Lord, I I have to have direction because it's just too much.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: And the Lord said, two things I want you to focus on in 2026.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to focus on re writing and running, fitness and fiction.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: Those are the two things I want you to focus on.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: My year has been so much more peaceful, intentional, and honestly happier, I feel like more successful than it was because I was trying to juggle and manage too many things that I didn't have time for.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so saying yes to the right things, and I think about eternity and I think about our focus as Christians, especially with that in mind, when we stand before the Lord and we give an account for our life, guys.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like I hope you know this.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: When you die, you're gonna stand before the Lord, you're gonna give an account for the life that you lived.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: I hope we don't have a bunch of excuses as to why we didn't witness to this person, why we didn't make time for this person, why we didn't do this for this person, why we didn't do that, why we didn't become more like Christ, why we didn't this, right?
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like I I hope we are not filled with excuses.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: I hope we say, Lord, I had this scenario happen and it sucked, but this is what I did to overcome it and to be more like you.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: I had this happen or this came in my way, but this is what I did to still fulfill the calling that you had on my life, to still fulfill that assignment.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we have to be proactive, we have to be looking for ways on how we can achieve what we want to achieve in life.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I go back to saying calling us lazy.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: I think really what I mean is that we want to sit in comfort.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: We do not like being uncomfortable, we like our comfort, and so my biggest motivation and just warning for us is we can't be elite if we have average habits.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: And what I mean is I was listening to a podcast and it was they were talking about elite athletes because it was a fitness podcast episode.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: They're talking about elite athletes, their schedule, like how they train, what they do, what they eat, their mindset, their sleep, like all the stuff that encompasses them being a successful elite athlete, and how they are above average simply because of the choices that they make.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: They make above average choices.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: So if you look at your life and financially you're struggling or you're just not thriving like you want to, I want to ask: are you willing to do what elite financial people do in order to have your elite financial life that you want?
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: And if the answer is no, I mean, be honest with where you're at.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: Am I willing, as a wannabe author, published best-selling author, am I willing to put in the work and do what elite authors do?
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because if not, then why the heck would I expect myself to be an elite athlete when I have average habits and systems?
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just doing what everybody else does, yet I'm expecting different results.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that's not how our world works.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so learning to get out of our comfort, one of the values that my husband has with Texas Outlaw is learning to be uncomfortable.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like being uncomfortable is a value that everyone, he strives everyone to have in the company.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: And it's because once you get comfortable, you start getting complacent, you don't start working as hard, excuses start showing up, you get stagnant, you're not really pursuing goals anymore.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's in our uncomfortable uncomfortable ability that we actually look forward and look to where we want to go, and we say, How do I get there as fast as I can get there?
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because right now I'm uncomfortable.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's that's the mindset that we should have.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: But when we're comfortable, it's kind of like, do I really want to take the risk?
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: Do I really want to take the chance?
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I I want to just say this, okay.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: So we talk about finances a lot.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, finances sadly, money drives the world, and finances are a big part of our life.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just want to say that if you're in a situation and you're like, I want my financial, you know, where I'm at financially to change.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: You want to actually have a savings account or actually invest or actually save for vacations and not have to go in large debts for it or whatever you're wanting financially, you know, maybe a nicer house or whatever it is, okay?
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: Newer cars, whatever it is.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I I want you to realize like you're doing the same thing every month over and over again, and it's not working.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're stressing out, or you're running out of money, or you're your XYZ, it's not working.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to realize in order for you to get where you want to get, you have to do something you haven't done before.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because what you're doing right now is not working.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_00: And we have to ask ourselves, am I willing to try something new?
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: We did this, I was in high school, and I remember um my coach, I was a senior in high school, guys.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: So last chance to go to state in high jump.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I was so close, it was like, if I had a really good day, I had a chance to go to state.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so we knew going into the season, hey, she has a really good chance at going far.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: Well, my coach ended up researching about high jump, and he ended up finding out a different technique for how to approach the mat, how I do my J and how I approach the mat, which was very different than how I was doing it.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember at practice one day, he said, We don't have to change it.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: He said, You can keep doing what you're doing.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I looked at him and I said, Why?
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: I said, we we've already maxed out on what I can do with what I'm doing.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: I said, if we try this new thing and God forbid it doesn't work, I can just go back to what I used to do because I know what it's like there.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: I said, but if this thing works, do you know how awesome that is?
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so we tried this new technique, and y'all, it worked.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: I ended up qualifying for state, I ended up jumping like three to four inches higher than I had been before.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it it reaped the benefits, but I had to make the decision: am I willing to change?
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: Am I willing to pivot?
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: Am I willing to sacrifice and do something different?
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: Am I willing to take the risk?
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like that is the question I am asking you.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: Are you willing to take the risk?
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because excuses will be there all day long.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_00: You will always have excuses for why you didn't take the risk, why you didn't try something, why you didn't do XYZ.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: There's always gonna be excuses.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because again, we live in a fallen world.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_00: There's never a perfect scenario.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: You're never gonna have the perfect time to start the business, you're never gonna have the perfect time to have kids, you're never gonna have the perfect time to start saving money, you're never gonna have the perfect time to go for that degree or go for that idea or write that book or do your financial plan or work on that fitness goal.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_00: There's never gonna be a perfect time.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like, am I willing to take the risk?
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I and I'm just here to motivate and inspire you and tell you, take the risk.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: You can always go back to the life you were living before you took the risk.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, something crazy Bristol and I did was number one, we moved to Texas taking that risk.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, we moved into a camper, a 20-foot camper, guys, for nine months.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I keep going back to this camper because that was such a monumental moment for both of us.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: We had a baby and we were living in a one-bedroom apartment.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: Our lease was ending, our rent was going up, and we had to decide: do we stay in the one-bedroom apartment?
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: Do we go into the two-bedroom apartment?
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: Even though that's kind of out of our budget, and we're trying to save for a house.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: Do we move into a camper?
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, moving into a camper sounds crazy, but it's gonna cut our rent in half.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so we can reach our goal faster.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah, let's let's try let's try the camper life.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: If worst comes to worst, we'll just go back into the apartment life if it all fails.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: And guys, the camper life was it was so much fun.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: It was we had so much learning and character building, and like I just look at that risk and that sacrifice that we took, and I'm like, man, like if people understood the risk and the sacrifice that you need to take to get where you want to be, it's gonna be worth it.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's gonna be worth it.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: We're living in our house and the business is thriving, and we have a business savings, and we're we're trying to do the right things, and I and I'm just telling you that it was worth the sacrifice.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: Did we look dumb for nine months?
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm sure we did.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure people were like, man, y'all are living in a camper, y'all are struggling.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: And really behind the scenes, we were saving so much money.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: We went and bought a cash car and sold our nice Jeep Grand Cherokee that we had because we didn't want a car payment anymore.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: And we've loved our car, our old expedition car.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's been great.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's a little hot in the summertime because the AC don't work as good.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: But let me tell y'all, other than that, it's it's phenomenal.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, the fitness goals, I think about this.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I have kids, and you're busy as a parent.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, your your life is just consumed with work and kids and all the stuff, right?
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it would be easy for me to every morning when I wake up say, you know what, I I can't go work out.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: I can't go run, I can't go lift, I can't, I can't work out because my kids.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: But I I choose.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_00: I choose to get up a little earlier and put in the work, even on days that I don't want to.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because I know in the long run it's gonna be worth it.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: I am loving how strong I'm getting.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm loving how my legs are starting to look and my arms and how I can I feel stronger.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: And that to me is like it's worth getting up earlier.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so stop with the excuses, guys.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: We got to stop with the excuses.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm gonna end with this.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna end with this challenge, this call to action.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: What are the people who are where you want to be doing?
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_00: What are they doing?
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: What are they reading?
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: What are they watching?
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_00: What are they talking about?
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: What's their mindset?
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: What's their belief standpoint?
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: What do they think about certain topics?
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: What are they doing?
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to find people who are where you want to be, and I want you to study them, study their mindset, study their behavior, study their decisions, study how they think.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_00: Watch them and study them.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_00: The great thing about technology is we have social media and we have YouTube.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_00: Those are the two places I would go: social media and YouTube.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: Find a YouTuber that's living the life you want to live, doing the goals that you want to do.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: They will motivate you, they will keep you motivated.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: Find podcasts by people who are doing the life that you want to do.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: On social media, follow people that are living the life that you want to live and unfollow people who are not.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_00: That is one of the biggest things I've and I I'm probably gonna do a whole episode about this.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: One of the biggest things that I learned when I read the book, Bridges Out of Poverty, was this.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: You are who you hang around, you are who you listen to and the voices you listen to.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're listening to your broke friends who are unsuccessful in creating a business, but you're wanting to create a business and build financial wealth, I I probably wouldn't take their advice.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I probably wouldn't listen to what they say about the topic of business and personal finance.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: I just, you know, you do what you want, but I I'm I I think I would go to someone who understands personal finance, has evidence, fruit of successful savings, investments, mindset towards money, a healthy biblical mindset towards money.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: I would go to someone like that.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_00: I would go to someone who has a successful business of where you want to be.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_00: I would study them and look at them and I would ask them questions.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I would just look at their life.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: What do they focus on?
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: What are they doing?
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I would do that.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you're gonna find that your excuses are actually gonna dwindle.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because in they're setting the standard, is what they're doing.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: When you find these people, they they set a standard, and you realize my excuses they don't they don't matter.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_00: My these people, they don't care about excuses, they're still doing it.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I love what Paul says.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_00: Paul says, he's he's talking, and he says, uh, he wants us as Christians to imitate him as he imitates Christ.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_00: Paul set a standard.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_00: In scripture, as a Christian, he set a standard.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_00: He did not, guys, he did not make excuses.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_00: He was in prison, he was bound by chains, he was hungry.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if anybody has an excuse to make, it's Paul.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, because his his scenario was not the best, okay?
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_00: And yet, he says, I set a standard that I want you to imitate.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that is the goal.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_00: Who do I want to imitate?
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_00: And let me analyze and look at their life.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_00: So for those Christians back then, they were looking to Paul as inspiration for how they should live.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: For us, we need to find people like that in the church, in the business world, in our fitness, as families, as moms, like wherever it is, you need to find people like that.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_00: The second thing is Jesus.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus set a pretty high standard because he said, be perfect as I am perfect.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that's something I want to want to warn you about is I'm not telling you to pursue perfection.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm telling you that elite people set the bar high.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_00: They set a standard pretty dang high that average people will never be able to meet.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_00: When Jesus said, be perfect as I am perfect, a lot of people actually stopped following him.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_00: He had like 72 followers in the beginning, and then he says something that offends their flesh.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's also another thing I want to say about excuses.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: You can't be offendable.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be teachable, but you can't be offendable.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know if offendable is a word, but and I'm a rudder, but you can't.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_00: You can't be taking offense to everything.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus says something, a bunch of people get offended.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_00: You can go go read it in the gospels, a bunch of people get offended, and they end up stop following him.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then that's where the 12 come in, and he says, you know, I've chosen you 12.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to understand that high standards are going to offend average people.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it is hilarious to look at Dave Ramsay and how high of a standard he sets for personal finance and how much it offends people on a daily basis.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_00: It offends me on a daily basis.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_00: It offend or or my husband Briston, how high of a standard he sets with his discipline and his consistency.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sorry, but but average people don't understand.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_00: They don't understand.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: It offends them.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then they have this excuse for why they're not doing X, Y, Z.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_00: And if we're just honest with ourselves, I want us to ask, where are you at?
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_00: If you're an average person, I want you to go through the seven Fs.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to say, Am I average in this category?
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_00: Am I average in this category?
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you're an average person, it's okay to be honest and say I'm average, but I just want to ask, do you want to stay there?
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_00: The majority of people don't want to stay there.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_00: But are the majority of people willing to put in the work and stop making excuses so that way they can get out of it?
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_00: But we have to have a high standard.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why there's high standards.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um that's pretty much all I got for y'all.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I mean, I've been talking for 40 minutes, so we've captured the episode.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: But I just want to encourage you, in your faith, in your finances, in your fitness, in whatever goal you want to set and in your business and in your family.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_00: Again, 7Fs.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_00: Making a high standard, setting the bar.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_00: Please do not go through life aimlessly.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_00: Please do not go through life with no goals and no objectives.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because that is a dangerous, slippery slope that the devil can actually use against you, and you end up worse off than you actually wanted to be.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_00: How many of us don't set fitness goals and then a year from now we've like gained 10 pounds, we're eating terrible, we can't even run a mile, like it's it's awful, right?
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_00: So set a standard.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_00: Set a standard for yourself and have grace.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_00: Don't expect yourself to be perfect, but do expect yourself to grow.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think the key, like when we're looking at if a Christian is maturing in the faith or not, the biggest kicker is are they growing?
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_00: Are they getting better and more Christ-like on a daily basis?
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like an instant perfect thing that they have to do every time.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's over time, are they maturing in Christ?
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_00: Is there improvement over time?
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's the question you have to ask yourself.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: Am I improving over time?
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_00: Or not?
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't think you should ignore your excuses.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna end with this.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think you should ignore your excuses, but I think you should listen to how you phrase it and what you believe about your excuses.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because just like I said, I have narcolepsy.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_00: It is a hindering factor to almost every aspect of my life.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's a hindering factor to my weight, it's a hindering factor to if I can drive, to how long I'm awake for.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's a hindering factor to a lot of things.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_00: But I have learned that if I make excuses for it, I'm actually never gonna get where I want to get.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_00: But if I recognize, hey, this is the reality of this, now how can I find a solution that combats this struggle?
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_00: Then I'm actually going to achieve what I want to achieve.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I love you guys.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you do hard things.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you grow as a person.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to say you're awesome.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_00: Keep doing what you're doing, and I will see you on the next episode.