Latest / Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud / Trevor Noah ROASTS Trump?s ?Bombs For Peace? Logic 😂😂😂

Transcript

Trevor Noah ROASTS Trump?s ?Bombs For Peace? Logic 😂😂😂 · Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud

• 0:00
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• 1:33
  SPEAKER_03: It's been a good week.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_03: It's been a crazy week.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my goodness.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_03: Like I thought the week was just gonna be about comedy in London.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, Israel and Iran happened.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_03: And then we were on like the brink of like World War III.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_03: Like you you here are now Friday crowd having fun.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_03: Monday, Tuesday crowd.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_03: You to try to tell jokes when there's missiles outside.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_03: Like everyone was here, like uh.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_03: Because that would be a weird way, like to be you know what I mean, like at the beginning of World War III.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_03: Like people like, where were you?
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_02: when you're like, uh did you see what happened?
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_02: No, I didn't.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_02: Where were you?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Trevor was telling us about uh about Brixton.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_03: It was such an insane story as well.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_03: Like now I feel like the world we live in.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_03: I I sometimes think uh about like parallel universes and timelines, and I'm not sure if I believe it, but but when I do think about it, I go like I think we somehow slipped into the ludicrous timeline.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_03: Like we were all in a very normal timeline, us as people, and then something happened around like COVID, and then we went into the crazy timeline, and then the other versions of us are now like, wow, things have become very boring and normal.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_03: Because like this is not normal, you know?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_03: Like the week starts off, uh or the wood like I mean it's been like two weeks technically.
• 3:04
  unknown: Right?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_03: Starts off Israel, uh Iran was negotiating a nuclear deal with America, negotiating a deal, negotiating a deal, they're making progress, making progress, they're getting close, they're getting super close, and then Israel was like, uh-uh, no, no deal.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_03: And then Israel started launching missiles at Iran, right?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_03: And then it's hard to make a deal when it's like missiles hitting you, you know what I mean?
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_03: Like you try, it's like when you're like trying to break up with someone at a restaurant, and then the waiter keeps coming.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_03: Is everything great?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_03: Hold just wait.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_03: Just I'm just let me just handle, let me just hand so what I'm saying is I'm just it's how's everything going?
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_03: Look, hey, we'll call you.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_03: It will call you.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_03: We'll call you, please.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_03: So Iran was like, alright, I can't, I can't handle, I can't.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_03: And so then Iran was like, missiles back at Israel, missiles, missiles, missiles, and then Israel was like, missiles, missiles, and then Iran was like, missiles, missiles, and it was going back and forth, back and forth.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_03: Israel was definitely winning it because like Iran has missiles, but not like Israel's type of missiles.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_03: Like is like Iran doesn't have much money and stuff.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_03: So their missiles are like those cheap fireworks, your friends.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_03: You know when your parents would like they'd feel bad.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_03: You'd be like, What are we doing for Guy Fawkes Day?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_03: And then your parents would be like, Ah, do you want these ones?
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: You're like, Do you like them?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_03: They're like, no, just throw them on the ground.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: It's like, pa, pa, pa.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_03: Do you feel like the other kids?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_03: No, I don't at all.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_03: So Iran has those ones, and then they're launching back and forth, back and forth, back.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_03: The whole world was like, ah man, this again, Middle East conflict, Middle East.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_03: And then at the peak of it, everyone's like, oh man, how could this get worse?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_03: Donald Trump was like, hello.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_03: Donald Trump came in and he was like, I'm gonna help.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna totally de-escalate this situation.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna de-escalate this situation.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_03: And we were like, ah my man, you've never de-escalated a thing in your life.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_03: In your life.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_03: From your head to your politics, nothing is a de-escalation.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_03: Nothing.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_03: Trump came in and he was like, I don't like how Iran and Israel are launching bombs at each other all the time.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_03: So many bombs, we can't have this.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_03: It's not right.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_03: Too many bombs, too many bombs.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_03: We gotta stop it.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_03: No more bombs, no more bombs, we gotta stop it, we gotta fix it.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_03: And they're like, Alright, how are you gonna fix it?
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_03: He's like, by dropping bombs.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna drop bombs.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_03: And no one, no one expected it, like the whole world was like, okay, Trump is gonna mediate or he's gonna because he said to them, hey guys, let's sort this out.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_03: Peace deal.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_03: We're gonna do a peace deal, and then he dropped bombs on Iran.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_03: And everyone in the world was like, What the hell?
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_03: And a lot of people in my life were like, oh man, I can't believe that Trump did this.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_03: I can't believe, and they were so stressed.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, Yes, but look, look on the on the bright side, and they're like, What bright side?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, on the bright side, Trump also can't believe that he did this.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_03: Like, that's that's the one glimmer of hope that I get from Donald Trump is that like he also doesn't know what he's doing.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_03: He's in it with us, which is a nice change.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_03: Oftentimes we're at the mercy of those in power, but he's in the mercy with us.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_03: Like we're all locked in a prison cell, but he's holding the key and he's like, we're all trapped, we're all trapped.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_03: What are we gonna do?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_03: We're like, you use the key.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_03: What?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_03: What are you talking about?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_03: And the reason I say this is because Trump came out and he hosted a press conference about it.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_03: It was so wild.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_03: He hosted a press conference about dropping the bombs.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_03: And he was shocked in the press conference.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_03: He came out and he's like, earlier today, the United States military, that's us, that's us, launched missiles, bunker busters, launched missiles on Iran on other nuclear facilities.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_03: And boy, you don't understand, you don't understand.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_03: You've never seen, never seen bombs like that before.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_03: Baking, never dropped them those bombs, bro.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_03: I couldn't believe what those bombs were doing.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_03: I couldn't believe it.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_03: I couldn't believe it.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_03: And I called, I called, I'm the one who called.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_03: I said, drop the bomb.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't know I was gonna call.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_03: I said two weeks.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_03: I said two weeks.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_03: I told everybody two weeks, it was gonna be two weeks.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_03: And then I was on the plane, then I said, I'm calling, drop the bombs, and the bombs were dropped.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_03: I never seen bombs like that.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_03: I said, Whoa, we're never dropping bombs like that like that.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_03: I never seen bombs like that.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_03: Those bombs were dropped, and now it's over, now it's over.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_03: We're all good, we're all good.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_03: And so now because America had dropped bombs on them, then Iran had to respond, but then Iran didn't want to get into a fight.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_03: No one wants to get into a fight with America, you know what I mean?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_03: And so, like, Iran was like, uh, we are going to retaliate against you, and then they launched missiles at an American base in Qatar, but then they phoned America first.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_03: They did, they were like, All right, uh, we're launching uh bombs against you in like 45 minutes, an hour maybe.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_03: You tell us how long you need, then we will launch, we'll launch the bombs.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_03: And then the Americans cleared out their base and everything important, and then the bombs fell.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_03: And then Trump, very like in an interesting way, he responded to Iran.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_03: Then he wrote on on his like thing online, on his profile, he was like, Thank you to Iran for giving us notice about the bombs.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_03: Now it's over, it's all over.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_03: There will be peace.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_03: And then he said, Iran, Israel, peace.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_03: And they were like, Alright, peace, peace, peace.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_03: All good.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_03: Then Trump went to sleep.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_03: And in the four hours that he was sleeping, Israel, like out of nowhere, they came and they were like, Iran, launch more missiles, and then everyone was like, Wait, what missiles?
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_03: And Israel was like, You launch missiles! And everyone was like, no-uh.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_03: And then Israel was like, Too late, we're coming for you with more bombs.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_03: And then the world was like, What?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_03: And then Trump woke up, and this was the moment when I can safely say I have felt more connected to Donald Trump than I've ever in my entire life.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_03: Because that man is not a normal human being.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_03: Very seldom have I looked at Trump and thought, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can relate to this.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_03: But he came out after Israel was about to launch a full-scale bombing attack on Iran.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_03: And he came out, he heard about this.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_03: Man didn't even put on a tie, came out of the White House half dressed, ran straight into reporters, and he went into it.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_03: He was like, I heard about what Iran is doing and what Israel is doing, and let me tell you, I'm angry at Iran, but I'm more angry at Israel.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_03: They said peace, and I said we're gonna do peace, and they're launching, and I'm sick of them.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_03: Israel, you better not do you don't do it, Israel.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_03: I said peace, you don't do it.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_03: He looked like a dad who had kids that were fighting in the backyard, and he was just going back and forth.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_03: He said, Like, Israel, shut up, baby.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_03: Come up, shut up, shut up.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_03: How many times do I have to tell you again that you're not gonna?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_03: I'll tell you once, and I'll tell you again.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_03: And then he looked at the reporter and he did something I've never seen an American president do in my entire life.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_03: He cursed live on TV into the camera, looked at the camera, and he was like, They were like, What do you think, Mr.?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_03: He's like, I'll tell you what this is.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_03: You've got two countries that have been fighting so long, they don't know what the f they're doing.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, oh, dad is mad.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_03: Dad is mad.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't know what was crazier.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_03: The fact that he cursed on live TV as an American president, or the fact that that somehow became bigger news than the actual bombs that were dropped.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_03: The bombs was like half a day of news.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_03: The biggest bombs ever dropped on a country randomly out of war was barely any news.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_03: And then Trump came out and he swore every news outlet Guardian, BBC, Al Jazeera, CNN, you name all of them, all of them.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_03: Trump curses, Trump swears, Trump says F word, F everywhere.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, damn, so the F bomb was more important than the bomb bomb.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_03: Everyone on TV, we've never seen this before.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_03: We've never seen an American president curse on national television.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_03: This has never I I don't even understand what we're seeing right now.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_03: Donald Trump, and I must warn, I must warn sensitive earrings, I must warn sensitive.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yo, you showed footage of cities being leveled by bombs.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_03: You said it just casually.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_03: Let me show you some of the bombs that were dropped here.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_03: Let me show you some of the bombs.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_03: All right, now Trump said something.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_03: I must warn you.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_03: If you have children in the room, you might want to cover their ears.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_03: You might want to cover their ears because he said that F bomb, like people cared more about the words than the There was the wildest thing.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_03: Wildest thing.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_03: I can't believe it.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_03: I can't believe it.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_03: They were doing it as if the people in Iran were just like, yeah, no, no, no, no.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_03: The bombs are one thing.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_03: But what he said.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_03: You guys love your sports out here.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_03: I've never seen more focus put on sports anywhere else in the world.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_03: Americans love their sports back to front.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_03: You analyze them, you you worship them, you you watch the game before the game, you watch the game after the game, you talk about what might happen in the game, you talk about what's happening in the game, and then you talk about what happened in the game and what could have and might have but didn't happen in the game.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_03: It's just the craziest thing I've seen in my life.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_03: It's all about statistics.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_03: Have you seen sports in America?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_03: Nonstop.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_03: Guys, just come out there.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_03: There's no time for smiles or anything.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_03: Just come out.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_03: And ladies and gentlemen, welcome to it.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's the 2012 Miami Heat up against the OKC.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: This is the greatest final we've been waiting for in the NBA Finals.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: LeBron James leading his team out here, averaging 30 points, uh, double-double every single game, uh, 10 points per game just in assist alone.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: This man is just something else, 90% from the free throw line.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: He's just gone in, he's statistically gotten better.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: His team coming in with more Chris Bosch coming in with more assists, really doing well in the last game.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_03: Just like, blah, blah, numbers, numbers, numbers, numbers, stats, stats, stats.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_03: You guys know everything, every stat.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I mean, uh, he's got four out of five, and I mean, if you look at that statistic alone, it looks like he should be, he should be getting forward.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_03: He should be, and then, and then, and then it's just it's just crazy.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_03: You know everything.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_03: You know everything.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_03: And then you switch over to like your business channels and your economy, and you're like, what, what's happening in the economy this year, Bob?
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: Well, no, nobody knows.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, nobody knows.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: We thought the housing market was coming up, but it wasn't.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: But hey, I mean, that's that's the economy.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: You never know, right?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: You never know.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: What about stocks?
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I guess uh stocks, they're up and down.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: I don't really know.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: They're up and down, they could go anywhere.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's um, those are stocks.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: We don't know.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: But the sports, you know, you need to flip that around.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_03: Folk get the statistics in the in the economy, just relax in your sports, have fun.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_03: That's the sports I watch, is relaxed like soccer.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a huge fan of soccer, you know.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, there's some fans here.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_03: I love soccer.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_03: Chilled.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_03: You hear it in the commentators when a game is being played.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_03: There's no statistics at all.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_03: The game starts off, the whistle blows, and welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to this majestic match.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_03: It's Spain playing against Germany.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, and what a wonderful day it is.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_03: Look at the crowd, really excited.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, and the atmosphere's amazing, wonderful weather, and guys will just like, oh yeah, John, you can feel it.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_03: Look, please look great.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_03: It's wonderful.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_03: What do you think's gonna happen today, Martin?
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, nobody knows.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_03: I can't even remember the last time I saw a game this good.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_03: Americans will remember.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_03: Americans will go back to the finest statistic.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_03: The last time a black man scored using his left hand jumping over a mixed race half Indian was in 1967 when the okay, I'm like, what?
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_02: This is madness.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_03: It's all about action in the sports as well.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_03: You know, as much action as possible.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_03: That's all about action in America.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_03: That is so action-focused, you will take the ball away from the other team if they do not give you enough action.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_03: I've never seen that in my life.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_03: That's a horrible way to bring people up.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_03: Just go to the other team.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_03: You go, hey, you guys, you take the ball, and you've got 24 seconds to get the ball in that and that.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_03: 24 seconds! And if you don't do it, we're gonna give the ball to the other team.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_03: You hear me?
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_03: Give the ball to the other team.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we know there's a lot of black guys.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_03: You try and get past them.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_03: That's up to you.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_03: Go! 24 seconds later.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_03: BAAH! You guys, you try, you try.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_03: All about action, you know?
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_03: Because America's different.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_03: It's different from the rest of the world.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_03: And uh you you you don't really know how different America is, though, until you get here.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_03: That's the one thing I will say.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_03: You know, you you think you know, but then when you when you land in America, in your airports, that's when you know this place is different.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_03: Because American airports, unlike airports everywhere in the world, which have a certain level of joy and all around happiness, American airports, they like they're like concentration camps.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_03: You know?
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_03: Just people walking barefoot in single file.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, it's it's no joke.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_03: There's even signs that say no jokes.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and you're like, really?
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_03: That's just insane.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_03: You you walk through those airports and and you have to do things at American airports you don't do anywhere else in the world, you know?
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_03: Like you have to take your shoes off.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_03: Your shoes come off, and you you don't know this as a foreigner, but they don't care.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_03: They're just like, yo, take your shoes off.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, am I what?
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_03: Your shoes, take them off.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_03: Why?
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_03: For safety, sir.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_03: I'm keeping them on for your safety, my friend.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_03: You don't do this anyway.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_03: I remember flying into Dubai one year, and as we get into the airport, this woman, an American woman, started taking off her shoes and her and those guys, I mean, you must understand when you in the Middle East as a woman, you're already a sin.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_03: And now to be taking your clothes off in public, these guys lost their mind.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_03: They were just like, Hilary, what are you doing?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_03: What are you doing?
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yo, what are you doing?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_03: She's like, I'm taking my clothes off.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_03: I'm taking they're like, No, no, no, no, what are you doing?
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_03: She's like, I'm taking it.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_03: Why are you taking your clothes off?
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_03: She's like, So the machine works.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_03: She's like, No, no, this is a machine, not your husband.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_03: You don't need to cut naked.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_03: Put their clothes on and walk through your heart.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_03: They will just, they will, you don't do it anywhere else.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_03: But then you come out here, you have to take off your shoes and you have to take your jacket off to walk through the metal detector.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_03: You and then and they they are mean about it.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_03: They will shout to you, they're like, You, take it off, take it off.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_03: And you don't know what to take off.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_03: You don't take it off anywhere else, so you don't know what to take off.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_03: So you're like, You take it off, take take what off?
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_03: Take it off, sir.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_03: Take what off?
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_03: Take it off now.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_03: What your clothes?
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_03: Take them my clothes, and now you're standing there, this man shouting at you, telling you to take your clothes off.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_03: You feel like a child in a Catholic church, it's horrible.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_03: It's just you're standing there.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I understand the need for security, but they don't need to shout at you.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_03: At least you know, if they tried to be nice, if they were maybe if they chanted instead of shouting, you know, instead of take it off, if they were like, take it off, take it off, take, you'd be like, yeah, woo! Security, safe and sexy.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_03: They don't.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_03: This is a harrowing experience as you come in.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_03: And the worst is when you have to go through passport control.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, as Americans, you don't feel the pain, but as a foreigner, it's a whole different game.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_03: As Americans, you walk through to the US citizens' line and they welcome you back like you on some secret mission.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_03: You're just like, Welcome home, sir.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_03: You know?
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_03: When you're a foreigner, you have to wait in a super long line, you know, and then they tease you.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_03: The line goes right to the front, and then it comes back, and it comes back, and you finally get there, and you have to wait for that, you know?
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_03: And they're standing there, and the guys are like, sir, sir, come on, come on, sir, step forward, forward, step forward, sir, step forward, forward, forward, forward, back, back, behind the line, sir, back, get back, sir, get back.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_03: You know, this is a stress, you're standing there, and now you have to answer questions.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_03: Horrible, like you don't understand.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_03: It's a stress, you know?
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_03: You're standing there and you don't want to get any of the questions wrong because it's like school, they'll send you back.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_03: So you stand there and you have to answer them into a microphone that's placed strategically low, almost so that you have to bow to the American as you answer every question of his.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_03: They ask you these questions.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_03: Questions you feel like you know the answers to, but when you're there, I mean, I just handed the man my passport, to which he replied, Is this you?
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_03: Never before have I felt so much pressure to look like myself.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like I was younger then.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_03: This is horrible.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_03: And then he starts rattling them off.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_03: It's your first time in the United States of America, sir.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: Your first time, sir, is that correct?
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_03: Uh yes.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: Sir, what is the duration of your visit out here?
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_03: I am going to be here for six months.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: Six months, sir?
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: Is that correct?
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_03: Sir, what is the purpose of your visit in the United States of America?
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_03: I'm here for holiday.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_03: Holiday, sir.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_03: Which one?
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_03: My one.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_03: You elaborate, sir.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_03: Holiday.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, what do you mean?
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_03: Holiday, sir.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like holiday, like holiday.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_03: Holiday.