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Do Narcissists have a 1 that got away · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of the narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite self aware narcissist Mr. Lee Hammock
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  better known as Mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This is the first time I see my
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  face and hear my lovely voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and there's my platform on social media to
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  raise awareness for NPD, get more people into therapy and
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  also validate the victims, survivors and thrivers of said
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  disorder, said toxic people said toxic traits.
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  Today's episode is going to be about the narcissist.
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  Have a one that got away. Silence.
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  Do narcissistic people talk to people?
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  Ever have a one that got away? Before we hop into today's
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  episode, y'all make sure you check out my selflove journal
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  that's available on Amazon. Lee Hammock.
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  I love Me a selflove journal to help you rebuild their selflove.
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  And I have a selflove course coming out here pretty soon as
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  well. But y'all so truly, truly, truly
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  get to ask yourself that question.
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  Do narcissists have a one that got away?
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  And the simple answer to this question is yes.
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  Y'all. I think a lot of people exclude,
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  you know, a lot of people exclude narcissists from being
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  people and having feelings. Because I know that a lot of
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  narcissistic people hurt people. You know, there's a lot of term
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  narcissistic abuse going for. A lot of narcissistic people
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  hurt people. But a lot of arsenals, you
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  included myself, we do feel like there's, you know, I married my
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  wife. You know I'm married.
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  But there is. Sometimes when you don't succeed
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  in life or when you feel like you're settling for someone new,
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  you do have a one that got away. Like, damn it, I messed that.
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  I messed that up. I really ruined that
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  relationship. I did that.
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  Like, I can't believe I'm not with this person anymore.
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  I never, ever thought that person would leave me.
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  I never thought that we would break up.
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  I never thought our relationship would end per se, but it did.
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  It did end. And there's a lot of shame
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  that's associated with the one that that got away.
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  You see what I'm saying? Especially like because I meet
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  me personally, I do that. They think that there can be a
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  transition. And the one that got away, like,
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  say there's what? Like the narcissists might
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  regret doing something wrong with somebody, might regret
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  treating somebody badly, and they that person breaks up with
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  them. And then for a few years the
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  narcissist is single or in a bunch of desolate relationships,
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  and they might find somebody that fit them better down the
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  road. But there is that one person
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  that they're like, damn, not all of them have.
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  Not all narcissists have this y'all, but a lot of them have
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  like, damn, I messed it up. I can't believe I did that.
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  But that does not mean that they would treat that person better.
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  They just if they got caught cheating, if they went over the
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  top and beat on them or something like that, they it
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  doesn't mean that they would stop doing it.
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  It just means that they would try not to get caught.
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  They were trying to try not to get caught up.
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  They would try to avoid that. They would try to avoid the
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  accountability that ended the result of them getting left.
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  You see what I'm saying? It doesn't mean that they would
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  treat the person better. It just means that they would
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  try to avoid that accountability that comes along with that.
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  So they would just try to, you know, move forward with
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  something else. But yeah, there is the one that
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  got away, y'all and they it hurts and it sucks.
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  And you know, you remember people from way back in the day.
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  I don't think the narcissist will ever forget people.
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  Like forget people today. They've been like, not, not
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  necessarily. Like one night stands and just
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  wait. We clap cheeks one time and that
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  was it. I'm just saying people that
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  we've shared love with. People that we've shared dreams
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  and goals with, people that we've built stuff together with.
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  And then the relationship ends abruptly because of something
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  that I have done. Something, you know, it just
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  fell apart. But yeah, they got it.
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  They they got away. And but here's the dynamic.
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  The narcissist might start in the in the minds of us.
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  We might start thinking like, Dang, I messed it up.
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  Dang, I can't believe I did that.
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  Dang, I wish I could take that back.
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  But then y'all know I told you, I told y'all about the mental
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  gymnastics that a lot of narcissists do, right?
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  The mental gymnastics that come along with a lot of Narciss is
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  like they will start blaming the other person for whatever they
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  did to them, even if you are the one or two or three that got
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  away. Because they could be more than
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  one that got away. Different stages, y'all they
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  could be different stages and whatnot.
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  But if you wanted the one of the ones that got away, they're
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  going to blame you for what happened.
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  Like because if I don't blame you, I I have to sit in the
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  shame of what I've done. If I don't blame you, if I don't
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  hold you accountable for what happened to us, then I have to
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  sit in the shame. And I have to deal with the
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  shame that's associated with us breaking up.
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  I have to sit in the shame and deal with the shame that's
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  associated. Because that comes along the
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  territory of us not being together anymore.
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  Of my my my heart, my little narcissistic heart being broken,
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  My toxic heart being broken. You see what I'm saying?
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  I don't want to sit in that shame.
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  I don't want to deal with this shame.
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  Shame sucks. Shame.
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  Y'all Shame sucks. Shame absolutely hurts.
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  Shame is painful as hell. Shame is y'all.
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  Shame is absolutely painful. It sucks.
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  It hurts so Dang gone bad. I don't want to sit in the
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  shame. I don't want to deal with the
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  shame at all. That's not what I want to do.
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  That's not what I'm you know That's not what I'm built for.
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  That's not. That's absolutely not what I
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  want to do. So I will blame you for us
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  breaking up. I will blame you for me
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  cheating. I will blame you for me yelling
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  and screaming at you. I will blame you for me drinking
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  or gambling. I will.
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  Whatever my vice is, whatever caused us to break up, I will
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  blame you for our emotional disconnect.
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  I will blame you for our lack of communication.
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  I will blame you for everything that is possible for me to blame
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  you about. Because that's how I feel better
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  about myself. That's how I feel better about
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  the relationship in it. That's how I survive.
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  And that's literally what a lot of narcissists are trying to do.
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  Y'all they are just trying to survive.
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  They're trying to make it through day by day, mentally,
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  emotionally, physically and things of that nature.
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  So it's like I said, you could have been the one.
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  Like if you're the one that got away, it doesn't let me let me
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  say this right here, just because you might be the one
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  that got away doesn't mean that they will try to Hoover you or
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  get back with you. Sometimes they will absolutely,
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  absolutely let you go and let you free and go move on with
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  their lives. Pride and ego are big with
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  Narciss as Y'all, Pride and ego are huge, huge.
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  With Narciss as Y'all, pride and ego are big as hell, huge.
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  And they do this thing with narcissistic people.
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  Y'all just. I'm just telling you, pride and
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  ego run rapid with narcissistic toxic gas, people.
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  And that's one of the things that that we have to deal with.
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  You know, pride and ego take over.
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  Pride and ego destroy us. And they might keep us from
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  reaching out to the one we got. They got away.
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  They might keep us from going to therapy and working on the
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  relationship. They might keep us from actually
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  offering a genuine apology and taking accountability.
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  That pride and ego is too big. Y'all and shame as well.
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  Pride, ego and shame. Pride, ego and shame.
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  That's that's what there's right there, Pride to ego and shame.
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  Destroying our statistic people from the inside out.
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  It prevents us from doing so much.
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  It prevents us from living lives of of genuine nature of of love
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  and kindness and growth. It prevents us just yeah, it
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  just it it just prevents us from doing a lot.
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  But again, y'all. So if you made it this far in
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  this video, y'all if you're looking for a sign to go back to
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  the narcissist, the person in your life or you might think you
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  would want to get away, this ain't it.
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  Y'all I hate. I keep having to reiterate don't
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  go back to you and talk to relationship because you see me
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  making this video. If that person hasn't been any
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  it done any kind of serious work on themselves that person is not
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  committed to going to therapy. That person not committed to
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  making any kind of positive behavior alterations in their
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  life. Then that's.
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  Yeah, unless you're going to put up with the crazy put up with
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  the craziness you've been through.
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  Because if they hadn't got, if they haven't gotten better and
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  you reach out to them, you're it's kind of like damn, I'm I
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  you must be accepting and tolerating of the way I treated
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  you. So that's what a lot of
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  narcissistic people will do right there.
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  Y'all that because you you because you come back and they
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  think you're okay with the behaviors.
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  And this is not me saying that you're okay with the behaviors.
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  This is me saying that because you come back there's a
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  narcissistic mind that's narcissist mind you mean you you
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  you're hey, are you not okay you came back to me or you're not
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  okay with the behaviors because if you weren't okay you could
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  have just left me alone. You know what I mean?
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  But that happens a tremendous amount in these toxic
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  relationship dynamics. In these toxic relationships
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  spaces, y'all you might be the one that got away, like or do
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  what? We might be one of the ones that
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  got away, but it doesn't mean you have to go back into that
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  space. Y'all because they're not
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  apologetic. They might feel bad for a little
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  while, but again, they're going to blame you.
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  And sometimes y'all you've been the one that got away, sometimes
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  the other. They will Hoover you.
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  They will try to suck you back to a relationship.
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  They will try to make your life harder, especially if y'all
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  still have ties together. Businesses, kids, money,
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  whatever, tied up together, houses, whatever it is.
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  Do you still have ties to this person?
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  They will make it. They're going to make it
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  extremely hard for you to leave them be.
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  They will make it your life extremely difficult for you to
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  separate from them. And if you to get free of them,
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  they're not going to make it easy because they want they want
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  you. They want you to be part of
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  their lives. So they're not going to make it
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  easy for you to leave. You know what I mean?
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  If I want you as part of my life, why would I make it easy
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  for you to leave me? That doesn't make sense at all.
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  You know what I mean? So like just telling people in
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  these situations, in these spaces, you have to be like you
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  have to be the one, even if you are the one that got away.
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  Even if they tell you y'all, even if they open their mouths
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  and say the the terminology that young folks use nowadays is I
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  fumble to you like fumble to football.
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  I fumbled you, I fumbled. That doesn't mean that you need
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  to be let them recover the recover the fumble and run it
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  back the other way. Y'all it means you turn over on
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  downs. Let the other team have it.
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  You know what I mean? This was you don't have to go
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  back into the toxicity. Y'all because you you love them
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  and care about them. Just because you love them and
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  care about them does not mean that they that they have changed
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  their behaviors at all. This is still them.
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  At the end of the day, they're still going to be toxic.
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  They're still going to be manipulative.
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  They're still going to try to do whatever they need to do to you.
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  They get over on you again. Y'all.
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  I'm not trying to hurt y'all feelings.
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  I know people just like, well, I'm the one that got away.
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  I'm not. Yeah, if you got away.
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  A lot of people want to be the one that got away because get in
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  the way. Listen to the Listen to the
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  operative words there. The one that got away, got away.
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  That means you survived. That means you're no longer a
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  victim. You survived you.
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  That you can thrive. You got away.
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  You don't want to be the one that stayed in it and got
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  treated horribly and didn't get the ability to live your life to
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  the fullest extent possible. The one that got away, got away,
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  got away. You see what I'm saying?
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  The one that got away, you be the one you want to be.
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  The one that gets away, the one that survives and whatnot,
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  survives and thrives. They want you want that to be
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  you, like I said, because they you know, they might narcissist
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  the person, especially if you reject them BI.
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  If you reject their advances after they after the breakup
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  ends, after the relationship ends, they could become obsessed
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  with you. They could stalk you, they could
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  try to harm you, and they might just say this is coming from a
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  place of love. You mean they might just tell
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  you that this is coming from a place of love, but you know damn
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  well that is not coming from a place of love.
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  It is absolutely not coming from a place of love.
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  It's coming from a place of hurt and a place of despair, a place
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  of insanity. Sometimes y'all just be careful
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  in these relationship spaces, Y'all just because they say they
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  fumbled you or you the one that got away or they really messed
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  up, that doesn't mean that they're going to change and be
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  better or treat you better at all.
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  That doesn't mean that at all. Y'all.
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  They're just saying that's word play.
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  That's what they call word play, Word play.
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  They're playing with their words and you.
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  They're playing with their words and they're playing with their
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  food. They're playing with you.
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  Don't let them play with word. Don't.
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  Don't let them play with you. Y'all be with y'all about how
• 10:47
  about this thing. Make sure you subscribe to the
• 10:49
  newsletter already if you haven't.
• 10:50
  Y'all. Also, I have a kids book coming
• 10:52
  out. It's about done.
• 10:53
  My kids book is coming out to help kids and toxic relationship
• 10:57
  spaces. Kids are coming from Lack.
• 10:59
  Yeah, it's it's going to be a great kids.
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  But me and my wife coauthor the book, so I'm excited about that.
• 11:03
  It's our first big project together, so subscribe to the
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  newsletter if you haven't already.
• 11:07
  Y'all the links in the description of every video and
• 11:09
  podcast that I do. I'm super grateful for y'all
• 11:11
  like and subscribe for more Mythicalness is out.
• 11:13
  Please thank you so much for making it to the end of my video
• 11:16
  Y'all. If you haven't already, make
• 11:17
  sure you hit that like and subscribe button so you don't
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  miss any uploads. Turn on that notification bell
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  as well. Thank you so much.
• 11:24
  See you later.