Latest / Anele and the Club on 947 / If someone dies, do you tell the family at 2am or wait until the morning?

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If someone dies, do you tell the family at 2am or wait until the morning? · Anele and the Club on 947

0:00
Speaker 1: Wake Up with a fang, wake Up and the Club on.
0:05
Speaker 2: Nine four seven. This one has us split down the middle.
0:09
Speaker 2: And I'm not surprised because when this happened, this conversation,
0:12
Speaker 2: conversation happened on Twitter about a month and a half ago,
0:16
Speaker 2: and this was at the center of it me because
0:20
Speaker 2: somebody had tweeted that somebody in her immediate family passed away, right,
0:27
Speaker 2: and she was notified via tics that just said hey, yes,
0:31
Speaker 2: actually was her mom. Her mom passed, and then she
0:34
Speaker 2: was notified via text. I said, hey, Mar's dead.
0:38
Speaker 1: Worry when what?
0:40
Speaker 2: Okay? So then my thing was whoa hang on? Where
0:44
Speaker 2: is the This is continuing the conversation around etiquette. Where
0:48
Speaker 2: is the etiquette around how you inform people if they've
0:53
Speaker 2: lost a loved one. Granted, this person lives in the States,
0:57
Speaker 2: the family lives here, right, Okay, okay, But I also
1:02
Speaker 2: feel that there's a way you call them, hey, what
1:05
Speaker 2: are you doing?
1:07
Speaker 3: Oh?
1:07
Speaker 2: You you find people around them, because I mean, if
1:10
Speaker 2: you've lived in the States, whether you're studying or working,
1:12
Speaker 2: surely we know somebody else besides you that's on that side.
1:15
Speaker 2: So let's say Frankie and I now are there and
1:18
Speaker 2: we have to tell Frankie that somebody in his family
1:20
Speaker 2: has passed. Then people get hold of me, Hey where's Frankie?
1:23
Speaker 2: Oh Frankie is there? Are you able to get to him? Yes?
1:26
Speaker 2: I am in how long? In an hour? Okay, here's
1:30
Speaker 2: what's going on. You know his mom has passed or whatever,
1:33
Speaker 2: whatever whatever. Then we are now as the family asking
1:37
Speaker 2: you to be the one to tell him. But you
1:39
Speaker 2: must be there for him. You don't know where Frankie
1:41
Speaker 2: is just dropping a text that says, hey, Ma's dead.
1:43
Speaker 2: Am I the only one l has?
1:44
Speaker 3: That?
1:45
Speaker 2: Also changed?
1:45
Speaker 1: No, that's that's so weird. Like for me, I cannot
1:50
Speaker 1: imagine that even if I wasn't because there's a big
1:52
Speaker 1: time difference between us in America. So even with the
1:55
Speaker 1: time difference, then you wait it so it's morning for
1:58
Speaker 1: that person or where ever, and then you phone them
2:01
Speaker 1: and you tell them you can't just set you can't
2:03
Speaker 1: send a text number one ever.
2:06
Speaker 2: Ever.
2:06
Speaker 4: I know someone who is out at the shops in
2:09
Speaker 4: a grocery store when they've got a call about their
2:11
Speaker 4: grandmother's passing. So can you imagine you're walking through a
2:16
Speaker 4: retail store, your shopping, and someone says, I've got something
2:19
Speaker 4: to tell you to your point about can we at
2:21
Speaker 4: least establish where you are and take it slow. I mean,
2:23
Speaker 4: I know, for example, in my family, they say, if
2:27
Speaker 4: someone is dead and you're in a different city, what
2:31
Speaker 4: they'll say to you is, oh, so and so's in hospital.
2:34
Speaker 4: It's not looking good. Are you able to get home?
2:36
Speaker 4: A person's already passed, But they're just buying you enough time.
2:39
Speaker 4: I mean, you sort of emotionally prepare you to the core,
2:44
Speaker 4: but they wait for you to either get home or
2:46
Speaker 4: like you were saying, for someone nearby, a friend or relative,
2:49
Speaker 4: to also be with you to help break the news.
2:53
Speaker 3: I just think we live in a time where people
2:55
Speaker 3: are just have this morbid fascination with being first to
2:59
Speaker 3: tell somebody that somebody has died.
3:02
Speaker 2: So you're so.
3:02
Speaker 3: Quick to message like, oh my gosh, Timbequilla, so sorry
3:06
Speaker 3: to hear about your mom. Maybe Tembequilla hasn't heard yet,
3:09
Speaker 3: because maybe you've received the message. And I'm not saying
3:11
Speaker 3: you should immediately message to the person, but just hold
3:14
Speaker 3: back a bit because maybe the family hasn't had time.
3:16
Speaker 3: And this is exactly what happened when my dad died.
3:18
Speaker 3: Words spread like before I even knew it spread so fast.
3:23
Speaker 3: I obviously didn't find out from other people. I found
3:25
Speaker 3: out at the hospital, but I had to quickly. I've
3:29
Speaker 3: just I'm processing the news, but make sure I phone
3:31
Speaker 3: all my uncles and aunts and cousins first before they
3:34
Speaker 3: hear via text, because it's only etiquette to hear via
3:37
Speaker 3: phone call, right, And and you you toy with the
3:42
Speaker 3: idea of and then you think about this years years
3:45
Speaker 3: down the line, and you go, okay, cool. If it
3:47
Speaker 3: had been a big moment on that day for our family,
3:49
Speaker 3: so let's say there had been a wedding, et cetera,
3:50
Speaker 3: et cetera, I would have waited till that celebration was
3:55
Speaker 3: done and then broken the news to whom ever so,
3:58
Speaker 3: because so you don't want people to be on the day,
4:01
Speaker 3: do you know what I'm saying.
4:02
Speaker 4: But I also understand why people now are in sort
4:06
Speaker 4: of this rush against time to let you know, because
4:08
Speaker 4: what also happens is the people who do know start
4:11
Speaker 4: putting your pictures on their WhatsApps stories it's broken heart,
4:14
Speaker 4: fly a bird. So your family sort of wants to
4:17
Speaker 4: get to you before you find out by accident.
4:21
Speaker 3: So now you're trying to phone your uncle to tell him,
4:25
Speaker 3: but you can't. You can't say, are you somewhere? Let
4:28
Speaker 3: me buy him an hour because it spread so fast,
4:31
Speaker 3: he's going to get a text before you have a chance.
4:33
Speaker 3: You have to phone them and tell them immediately.
4:36
Speaker 2: Can we just hold back a bit on the posting.
4:38
Speaker 2: Can you give it to twenty four hours? Because the
4:41
Speaker 2: posting is not doing anything. The only person is satisfying
4:44
Speaker 2: is yourself, you know. Can we just take a breather,
4:50
Speaker 2: Let the family also deal with it right that that
4:54
Speaker 2: first twenty four hours is just so important, so that
4:57
Speaker 2: the family feels okay, this carpet that's been pulled, this
5:01
Speaker 2: rug that's just been pulled from up and out underneath
5:04
Speaker 2: our feet. Now we are starting to feel steady. Now
5:08
Speaker 2: we can This is why they say, can we give
5:10
Speaker 2: the family privacy whilst they deal with this moment? Can
5:13
Speaker 2: you just give them that before you rush to post
5:16
Speaker 2: that flying doves?
5:18
Speaker 1: But because the thing is also maybe we as a
5:20
Speaker 1: family have decided that my sister, for example, is busy
5:24
Speaker 1: with something that's very important, right, so we're we're going
5:27
Speaker 1: to let her finish this thing first. Maybe she's doing
5:30
Speaker 1: some kind of producer. Ryan was telling us about this
5:33
Speaker 1: he was doing the August right when he's grandpassed, and
5:36
Speaker 1: the family wanted him to finish the.
5:38
Speaker 2: August because it meant a lot to him, because it
5:40
Speaker 2: meant so much, so much for it for yees, and
5:43
Speaker 2: so they wanted that to finish before they told him,
5:46
Speaker 2: and then afterwards there was someone there to you know,
5:49
Speaker 2: to be with him when they told him.
5:50
Speaker 1: But that's the thing. Maybe maybe as a family, we've
5:53
Speaker 1: decided that now you quickly to quick to message everyone
5:56
Speaker 1: and now oh one one.
5:58
Speaker 2: Eight thirty eight nine four seven, what's your take on this?
6:02
Speaker 2: Should we wait all? You can easily say it? Because
6:05
Speaker 2: when I say this on Twitter, people came for me
6:07
Speaker 2: like a swarm of peace to be like, it's twenty
6:08
Speaker 2: twenty six and then get over it. I was like, Okay,
6:11
Speaker 2: I sorry, my mistake. But I just grew up in
6:14
Speaker 2: a space where they are trusted people by the family
6:18
Speaker 2: who deliver the news to a person, and families know
6:22
Speaker 2: each other, they know exactly that. For instance, me, it
6:24
Speaker 2: has to be my aunt. My dad's no bond. She
6:27
Speaker 2: if anything happens, she is the one who's going to
6:29
Speaker 2: come to me, no one else. Now that I'm married,
6:32
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure that they'll enlisted on my husband, right,
6:35
Speaker 2: but before that, definitely, no, I don't want to hear
6:38
Speaker 2: anything from anyone else. It's my dad, it's my husband
6:40
Speaker 2: or bund how does your family do it? And then
6:43
Speaker 2: let's chat about this posting thing. Maybe we should have
6:46
Speaker 2: a blanket rule just in Jay for everyone to be like, guys,
6:49
Speaker 2: give you twelve hours, guys give you twenty four.
6:52
Speaker 1: Hours, just so that the important people or the close
6:54
Speaker 1: people find out first before they find out on Facebook.
6:57
Speaker 2: And then the text one as well. Hey, mass's dad, sugh.
7:02
Speaker 3: My text is quite honestly the most unclassy thing you
7:05
Speaker 3: can the most unclassy way you can ever tell somebody.
7:07
Speaker 3: I think that is that is terrible.
7:10
Speaker 2: Oh one one eight eight thirty eight nine four seven
7:13
Speaker 2: zero eighty four double zero double zero nine four seven.
7:17
Speaker 2: I always say the thing about death is is an
7:18
Speaker 2: equalizer because we all deal with it. There's not a
7:21
Speaker 2: single one of us that is walking this year planet
7:24
Speaker 2: Earth that has not dealt with it, that is going
7:27
Speaker 2: to deal with it. It's an equalizer. No one makes
7:30
Speaker 2: it out of here alive. So I think whilst we hear,
7:33
Speaker 2: let's have the conversation about it.
7:34
Speaker 5: When my dad posts in twenty twenty one. The hospital
7:39
Speaker 5: phoned my mother at about half past seven in the
7:43
Speaker 5: evening and the nurse asked, my mother, can you please
7:47
Speaker 5: come identify the body.
7:49
Speaker 2: In the morning.
7:50
Speaker 5: The morgue is open from nine.
7:52
Speaker 6: How do you do that?
7:54
Speaker 2: Hospitals case? When my dad passed away, they called me.
7:58
Speaker 7: I was at sin upon at Chris that I didn't collapse.
8:01
Speaker 8: That my dad was in hospital and the situation was
8:05
Speaker 8: very dire and everybody was sort of expecting it. I
8:09
Speaker 8: sent a dove and the time of departure on the
8:13
Speaker 8: family group chair.
8:17
Speaker 2: No, no, a dove. I hate those doves. I really hate.
8:23
Speaker 2: As soon as I see that dove anyone on social media,
8:26
Speaker 2: I just hate it. It's a dove climbed face and
8:29
Speaker 2: then a broken hat. Always another poor lady Snaportish ruined
8:33
Speaker 2: forever for her.
8:34
Speaker 4: I would have bought extra though, because I will need
8:37
Speaker 4: a snack. I'm still gonna be stressed.
8:41
Speaker 9: I need to eat.
8:42
Speaker 2: Good morning, Refeler you in Springs. Welcome to an l
8:44
Speaker 2: M the club.
8:46
Speaker 10: Hi Emila, how are you?
8:47
Speaker 2: We're good? How are you refeeling?
8:49
Speaker 10: First time on radio?
8:51
Speaker 2: I don't know, guys, sir about it?
8:56
Speaker 10: Sorry, buddy's situation. Yeah, I found out my mom passed away.
9:04
Speaker 10: I was four most pregnant, twenty one with my first child.
9:08
Speaker 10: I'm with my boyfriend going to check up on my
9:10
Speaker 10: mom at the hospital. Before we're getting to the ward,
9:14
Speaker 10: into the ward by the door, I get a call.
9:17
Speaker 10: It's my dad and our neighbor. I pick up the call.
9:21
Speaker 10: My dad says, did you yeah? Did I? Yeah? Oh,
9:25
Speaker 10: your mom passed away?
9:28
Speaker 7: Like okay, do.
9:30
Speaker 10: You understand that you are calling your daughter, You're telling
9:33
Speaker 10: her about your mom, the mom passing away, and what
9:37
Speaker 10: did you say? Always at that moment, I went too stericle.
9:42
Speaker 10: I went into the wood. But when I got home,
9:45
Speaker 10: it was everybody had her because the church people had
9:49
Speaker 10: gone before to go check up, to go actually take
9:52
Speaker 10: prayers for her at the hospital, and then they found out.
9:55
Speaker 10: But they went to my house, like you know in
9:57
Speaker 10: the township, they'll come after yearing just to sit with
10:01
Speaker 10: the family. I got home and everybody was staring at me.
10:06
Speaker 2: That time.
10:06
Speaker 10: I had my own moment, which first came as a shock,
10:09
Speaker 10: as how do you call me and ask me that
10:11
Speaker 10: you hear year from who? Because you are my.
10:13
Speaker 2: Dad who I've heard from?
10:16
Speaker 10: You were supposed to deliver the news correctly or awesome,
10:19
Speaker 10: ask one of the elderly mothers in the family to
10:22
Speaker 10: actually call me and actually things properly if maybe you
10:26
Speaker 10: didn't know how to say it.
10:27
Speaker 2: And have you ever addressed this with your dad?
10:33
Speaker 6: My dad?
10:34
Speaker 10: Is those adults that you don't address.
10:35
Speaker 2: Oh okay, okay, we've got okay, dictator, all right then,
10:39
Speaker 2: sorry men refiel here, Well, how long ago was this?
10:43
Speaker 10: This was twenty eleven, fourteen years ago?
10:46
Speaker 2: Okay?
10:46
Speaker 11: And is it?
10:47
Speaker 2: Has it gotten better?
10:49
Speaker 10: It's it's gotten better. It's just like real reliving with it.
10:53
Speaker 10: Because my sister also still confessed to Actually we had
10:57
Speaker 10: a discussion about how she found out. She said she
11:00
Speaker 10: didn't know, she wasn't told she does so everybody they're crying.
11:04
Speaker 10: And when she asked my dad what's happening? My dad answered,
11:07
Speaker 10: this is stay out of adult's business.
11:11
Speaker 2: That sounds like a wonderful person. He must be, he
11:15
Speaker 2: must be. He must be a hitter at parties. Thank
11:20
Speaker 2: you so much, thanks to the qui filler. We're sending
11:22
Speaker 2: your hugs, oh man. And now her first time on
11:27
Speaker 2: the radio was her talking about this thing?
11:31
Speaker 3: Is it?
11:31
Speaker 2: Joette? What a name Jolette, it's joe Lette. Yes, joe Lett,
11:36
Speaker 2: your parents are fancy, my angel. What do you think?
11:39
Speaker 2: What do you think about the conversation?
11:41
Speaker 7: Horrible situation I had last year my mother passed a
11:45
Speaker 7: wife suddenly. Long story short, I was with her kids
11:50
Speaker 7: and my brother's kids are in Johannesburg. I'm in George passing,
11:56
Speaker 7: so we need to decide that Karin, can we tell
11:58
Speaker 7: the kids so that I out of school and the
12:02
Speaker 7: whole situation, And unfortunately, my sister in law had to
12:07
Speaker 7: get notified because the skid startes with her. She notifies
12:10
Speaker 7: her parents. The mom by accident, posted this base on
12:15
Speaker 7: the group call of the family, and the next minute,
12:21
Speaker 7: my brother's daughter found out that her grand died. And
12:24
Speaker 7: the worst of all is my daughter's best friend knew
12:28
Speaker 7: that my mother passed before she did. It was absolutely devastating.
12:35
Speaker 7: So we try to keep it and we had to
12:37
Speaker 7: keep on telling my dad. He's like, but she's not
12:40
Speaker 7: even there yet because she had an aneurysm, but she
12:43
Speaker 7: basically passed. But he's like, why are you saying this?
12:47
Speaker 7: And I'm like, Dad, sorry, this is the world of
12:49
Speaker 7: social media. It spread like wildfire. I cannot tell you, guys,
12:54
Speaker 7: the people. I even got a message from a random
12:57
Speaker 7: person telling me condolences before I even said anything to
13:02
Speaker 7: any anyone.
13:04
Speaker 2: And you know that's the thing. You said something in
13:06
Speaker 2: the very important You said the kids were at school,
13:09
Speaker 2: So we are figuring out how we're going to tell them.
13:12
Speaker 1: Are we going to fix them?
13:13
Speaker 2: And to do that, guys, allow families to just figure
13:17
Speaker 2: it out, and just allow families space to figure it out.
13:21
Speaker 2: Then when you hear from them, the immediate family, then
13:25
Speaker 2: hear how they would like to proceed, and then proceed.
13:28
Speaker 2: Now you're running to look for the picture that you
13:30
Speaker 2: have with them. I need to find out picture. Oh
13:33
Speaker 2: there we are in It's nineteen ninety nine. You know, I.
13:37
Speaker 7: Understand people want to comfort and whatever, but in this situation,
13:42
Speaker 7: you know, the timing was just absolutely I can't tell you,
13:47
Speaker 7: guys how cricket rains. And we were.
13:48
Speaker 10: Asked how, how how?
13:51
Speaker 7: And it was one little mistake.
13:53
Speaker 2: But the thing about wanting to comfort me, you need
13:56
Speaker 2: to know what is comforting to me? Right you can
14:01
Speaker 2: you know, execute whatever it is that you were going
14:03
Speaker 2: to do.
14:03
Speaker 1: I'm going to go as far as to say posting
14:04
Speaker 1: on a Facebook group is not comfort at all, Like
14:07
Speaker 1: you're not comforting anyone on a group.
14:11
Speaker 2: Baking break, what family group?
14:15
Speaker 7: I can understand it.
14:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's exactly Yeah, it's exactly it. If you have
14:21
Speaker 3: to ask yourself why am I actually posting this? And
14:24
Speaker 3: that's got to do with everything in life, Why am
14:26
Speaker 3: I actually posting this, you'll realize that you're posting to
14:30
Speaker 3: comfort in inverted commas is actually your selfish way of
14:33
Speaker 3: being first to post and to be the one who's like,
14:36
Speaker 3: I am so upset, but let me be first to
14:38
Speaker 3: tell everybody without considering anybody else but yourself.
14:42
Speaker 2: It's extremely selfish, and I don't I'm gonna go out
14:46
Speaker 2: on an olympia and speak on behalf of many people
14:49
Speaker 2: in a death in my family. I've never seen somebody
14:51
Speaker 2: else's status and found that to be comforting.
14:53
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying.
14:54
Speaker 12: Nothing.
14:55
Speaker 1: If you're posting on a group and you haven't spoken
14:57
Speaker 1: on the phone to every single person on that group before,
15:00
Speaker 1: you boast nothing about comforty.
15:03
Speaker 9: When my dad passed away, my brother's ex wife called
15:07
Speaker 9: me and asked if I had heard about my dad,
15:09
Speaker 9: and I asked, what about him? Then she immediately hung up.
15:12
Speaker 9: I need to call my mom and find out that
15:14
Speaker 9: my dad had passed away in that the family had
15:16
Speaker 9: decided not to tell me because they knew I was
15:19
Speaker 9: alone at the time. So with all that information, she
15:23
Speaker 9: still founded in herself to call me and ask me
15:25
Speaker 9: if I had heard from far.
15:27
Speaker 1: Don't trust me, get someone close to me to call me.
15:31
Speaker 8: My brother, wow, call my wife.
15:33
Speaker 11: With my uncle, he posted about my aunt's passing on
15:38
Speaker 11: What's Up group Emily WhatsApp group when he got called
15:41
Speaker 11: by the police that she collapsed in town and passed on.
15:44
Speaker 11: He was not even where the incident happened. He just
15:49
Speaker 11: decided to post in real time while he was driving.
15:52
Speaker 11: It was a nightmare.
15:54
Speaker 2: And you know you don't think so, but I'm telling
15:57
Speaker 2: you now, this changes the relationship you have with people
16:01
Speaker 2: for the rest of their lives.
16:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a massive moment.
16:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, it really does. Like fort this uncle or that's
16:08
Speaker 2: existent law, You're never gonna be close to them again
16:11
Speaker 2: because it's just like when you do, you just you
16:14
Speaker 2: don't know, you don't know how to be human to
16:16
Speaker 2: other people. You don't think further than yourself.
16:18
Speaker 1: If it's I have this rule, if it's not your
16:21
Speaker 1: direct family, like I stay out of it if I
16:23
Speaker 1: heard someone's past and it's like it say it's a friend,
16:26
Speaker 1: but it's not a close friend of mine. I don't.
16:29
Speaker 1: I'm wait till I wait till everyone's telling me. Then
16:32
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, cool, we can have a discussion. I'm
16:34
Speaker 1: not getting involved.
16:35
Speaker 2: I wonder what the obsession is with us too. You
16:37
Speaker 2: want to be the first one to tell someone stop it?
16:40
Speaker 2: Halima and Robert Chan, good morning.
16:44
Speaker 7: Good morning.
16:44
Speaker 12: How's everybody doing.
16:45
Speaker 2: We're good, Halima, how are you lovely? Well?
16:48
Speaker 6: Thank you?
16:49
Speaker 2: What's your take on?
16:51
Speaker 3: Yeah?
16:51
Speaker 12: You know, I do. And we all believe that death
16:54
Speaker 12: is life altering and hearing about losing a last one can.
16:58
Speaker 6: Move people forever.
17:01
Speaker 12: Being Muslim, and with our funerals that happened so fast
17:06
Speaker 12: after a person has passed away really impacts on the
17:10
Speaker 12: way you communicate us to people. So we have a
17:14
Speaker 12: group of elderly in our family, and it's always vital
17:17
Speaker 12: that we speak to their oldest child and let them
17:21
Speaker 12: know to communicate it to the elders and then and
17:25
Speaker 12: and that's how it then shots and those elders to
17:28
Speaker 12: their siblings, and then it goes down and then then
17:31
Speaker 12: we go on our family whatspapp groups before we can
17:34
Speaker 12: even take it to larger communities. But that is the
17:39
Speaker 12: way that we manage this. Yes, it's difficulty. Yes, there
17:45
Speaker 12: was a day in a time where there was no WhatsApp,
17:47
Speaker 12: so it was phone calls or the in person ones.
17:50
Speaker 12: Always happened with all the elderlies first, But just that
17:54
Speaker 12: we don't have five days to deal with the person
17:58
Speaker 12: party or later when you actually have the funeral. Of
18:02
Speaker 12: funerals happen quite fast after we passed away, so that's
18:05
Speaker 12: also consideration. I think that you know, in dealing with this,
18:09
Speaker 12: they are sensitivities, but there that's very point. It's about
18:13
Speaker 12: respecting the person who has passed and giving them an
18:16
Speaker 12: honorable funeral and and just focusing on them rather.
18:21
Speaker 1: Than but Alima, I mean, you guys do it right.
18:26
Speaker 1: There's a change, there's a there's a hierarchy and like
18:29
Speaker 1: you say, the closest child needs to tell the parent
18:33
Speaker 1: or you know, it sounds the way even though you guys,
18:36
Speaker 1: even though it's like you're saying, there's an immediacy because
18:39
Speaker 1: it's got to happen before sunset, right, so there's an
18:41
Speaker 1: immediacy around it. But still it's the family first and
18:45
Speaker 1: then we'll get to everyone around it, Like, just let
18:48
Speaker 1: everyone just inform each other first.
18:50
Speaker 2: I really feel we should borrow from Muslims then, and
18:54
Speaker 2: how you guys do it because you already have a
18:56
Speaker 2: set plan in case where it can't just anyone. It
19:00
Speaker 2: can't be my brother's wife, right yeah, or it can't
19:04
Speaker 2: be my cousin's husband who then decided, Oh, I'm going
19:07
Speaker 2: to pick up the phone and call Annelie. I like, Halima,
19:09
Speaker 2: how she's saying it is that that guys, this is
19:11
Speaker 2: how we've done the plan and it works for us,
19:14
Speaker 2: So that's how we're going to do it. Halemah, thank
19:15
Speaker 2: you so much for the school. Thank you you, Raka,
19:18
Speaker 2: thank you. Enjoy your day. Letitia in Rosebank. You' wrapping
19:21
Speaker 2: it up?
19:23
Speaker 4: Hi.
19:23
Speaker 6: How are you guys with great?
19:24
Speaker 2: How are you well?
19:26
Speaker 6: Thanks? Thank you guys for the opportunity to being take
19:31
Speaker 6: My parents passed away in twenty nineteen. They were in
19:35
Speaker 6: a car accident. My mom passed at the scene, my
19:38
Speaker 6: dad was still fine. Got to the hospital and he
19:42
Speaker 6: started asking around like if anyone seen my wife the
19:45
Speaker 6: hospital was he taken to and stuff like that. And
19:49
Speaker 6: the paramedics that brought his personal items, just put it
19:52
Speaker 6: at the foot of his bed and went, oh, sorry,
19:55
Speaker 6: didn't you yea, she passed at the scene.
19:57
Speaker 1: Oh, without compassion, just left.
20:01
Speaker 6: His toe at the foot of the bed and just said,
20:04
Speaker 6: your wife passed at the scene and as a result
20:07
Speaker 6: of that, my dad suffered cardiacorrest and passed us all, oh,
20:12
Speaker 6: that's terrible. And this was before any of the kids
20:16
Speaker 6: had been informed or anything like that. My brother was
20:20
Speaker 6: my dad's next of kin and the doctors were still
20:24
Speaker 6: trying to get hold of him because he was at
20:26
Speaker 6: a cricket match in peter Merrisberg at the time and
20:29
Speaker 6: the accident happened in the three state.
20:33
Speaker 2: I don't know there is a procedure there. I think
20:36
Speaker 2: when you're asking what happened to this person, they're not
20:38
Speaker 2: supposed to tell if they passed away. They're supposed to say,
20:41
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go find out. I understand to be corrected,
20:44
Speaker 2: but they're not supposed to give you a finality, especially
20:47
Speaker 2: if they don't know what the state that you're in.
20:49
Speaker 6: Yeah, they were supposed to be obviously that, but it
20:53
Speaker 6: was not followed and then he was just told no,
20:56
Speaker 6: it was a brand new paramedic there was slim training,
20:59
Speaker 6: so they didn't know the pro teacher.
21:01
Speaker 12: Yeah.
21:01
Speaker 1: Look, my dad passed in a car accident as well,
21:04
Speaker 1: and I mean it was horrible because the car accidents
21:07
Speaker 1: are horrible because you don't know where that person is.
21:10
Speaker 12: Right.
21:10
Speaker 1: So obviously now with phones we can track people on
21:13
Speaker 1: phones and stuff. And I remember clearly because we didn't
21:16
Speaker 1: know where he was. So my sister and I drove
21:19
Speaker 1: to it come U up and down that road. It'd
21:21
Speaker 1: come from work, so we drove to go see maybe
21:23
Speaker 1: he was at work. We couldn't get hold of him, right,
21:25
Speaker 1: so maybe he was at work. So we drove all
21:27
Speaker 1: the way there, and in that time, the police officers
21:31
Speaker 1: came to our house, my mom's house, and so then
21:35
Speaker 1: we got a call from my mom saying the police
21:37
Speaker 1: are here. You guys can come back. But they were incredible.
21:42
Speaker 1: They were in those offices, were in I'll never forget them.
21:44
Speaker 1: They were incredible, the way that they were with the family,
21:47
Speaker 1: told us what happened, etc. Said it was amazing, that
21:51
Speaker 1: was amazing.
21:52
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Letitia, I'm so sorry. How's it going now though?
21:57
Speaker 2: What we got six years in?
22:00
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's really difficult because my siblings and I we
22:04
Speaker 6: four siblings, and we just became often overnight. My baby
22:08
Speaker 6: sister was sixteen at the time and she was in
22:12
Speaker 6: grade eleven, so it was really, really, really difficult. But yeah,
22:17
Speaker 6: I think we're getting through it. You don't ever heal
22:21
Speaker 6: from it, you just learned to live with it.
22:24
Speaker 2: I'm so glad that we are in the backdrop of
22:26
Speaker 2: you learning to live with it and we can every
22:29
Speaker 2: now and then put a smile on your face.
22:31
Speaker 6: Thank you so much, guys.
22:32
Speaker 2: I love you, babe.
22:33
Speaker 12: Bye, love you too.
22:35
Speaker 9: Bye, guys, back to making your morning.
22:41
Speaker 2: On ninety four seven,