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Transcript

Heavyweight Check In 3 · Heavyweight

• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Pushkin right there.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: I knew I heard the loud.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Simon.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: Hi, Hi.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: When you picked up the phone, I heard voices in
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: the background. What was that?
• 0:33
  Speaker 4: I like just playing videos in the background and listening
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: to them.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: Oh, just for the company. Yeah, so you just kind
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: of listen to them in the background. Like, Simon is
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: ten years old, and like most kids, his school is
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: closed indefinitely, but his parents have jobs they still need
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: to leave the house for. So Simon's home all alone
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: all day except for lunchtime when his dad stops by
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: to eat with him. What kind of lunch do you
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: usually have.
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: I've been having a lot of hot pockets.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, are they really hot inside?
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: Sometimes you gotta let him cool down. One time I
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: had one too hot and they burned the back of
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: my taste buds for like the rest of the day.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Oh my god.
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: You just can't tell when they're hot or not from
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: the outside because they don't steam up or anything. So
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: when you take your first bites, like, am I gonna
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: just swallow it or spit it out?
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah? You got to be patient. Yeah, so your dad
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: comes home, so you guys are able to have lunch together. Yeah,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: do you look forward to that.
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I get really lonely.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Oh you do, huh.
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I didn't realize that I would get this lonely,
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: and only a few days.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Were the first couple of days less lonely.
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah, they because it was just the first time ever
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: being home alone for a full day by myself. Yeah,
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: but then I just got used to it, and then
• 2:03
  Speaker 4: it wasn't so exciting, and then I realized how it
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: was pretty lonely.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: So what do you do when you get lonely?
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: Well, usually I take my mind off it by doing
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: more homework or watching videos.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Do you have advice for other people who are by
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: themselves right now and who maybe aren't used to it.
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: It makes you feel a lot better if you just
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: open up a blind or something like in my living room,
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: we have a big window, okay, and then there's a
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: blind on it. I usually if I get scared, I
• 2:37
  Speaker 4: just open that up and look outside, and then I
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: know that, you know, nothing else is happening, so I'm
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: fine and I can see outside, and it just makes
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: you feel better.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's good sometimes to just remember that there's an
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: outside out there.
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, it's not just you inside, and that's completely it.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so you have lunch, your dad heads back to work,
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: and then what then I do the not the.
• 3:04
  Speaker 4: Homework on paper, but just like where I have to
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: practice my recorder and do some read and all that stuff.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: Oh you play the recorder?
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, that's our music.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Do you have your recorder with you right now?
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: Yes? I actually do. It's just on the automan.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Would you would you be able to favor me with
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: a little a little bit of what you've been practicing.
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: Okay, I'll try, might mess up.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: You're just practicing we've been.
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: Trying to do when the same spot marching in.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, let's hear it. Okay, here we go, Simon. Yeah,
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: that was excellent. And you know what was really really
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: great about it was your sense of timing. It's it
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: sounds tight, is what I'm saying. Your hip to my
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: jazz lingo.
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Well, you know, I've probably kept you from your from
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: your studies long enough.
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: Right, I mean, I really don't care because I would
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: rather not do it.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: But well, I don't want to get in trouble with
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: your parents, so I'm going to let you. I'm going
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: to let you get back to your routine. It's been
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: really nice getting to talk to you.
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you for letting me talk to you too.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Okay, take care Simon you too. Fe Hello, Stevie Lane.
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: This is g.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: I have khalilt khalilt. Hey, I see you've got your
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: showbiz a voice on Khalila.
• 5:29
  Speaker 6: I think this is just my normal voice.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: You just had a You just had a birthday this week.
• 5:36
  Speaker 6: I did just have a birthday. My birthday was very good.
• 5:40
  Speaker 6: I had a Zoom party. Our own Stevie was in attendance.
• 5:46
  Speaker 6: It was very fun, and I tweeted a thing about like, oh,
• 5:53
  Speaker 6: it would be nice if people sent me like photos
• 5:55
  Speaker 6: or stories of like small nice things. Get it to
• 5:58
  Speaker 6: my birthday. People sent me such amazing stuff.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: Can you can you share some of the little moments
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: that you received?
• 6:07
  Speaker 6: So I got a lot of pick of people's pets.
• 6:10
  Speaker 6: Here's one that says, my small nice thing soup and
• 6:14
  Speaker 6: sandwich and soup and sand which are two cats that
• 6:17
  Speaker 6: are like cuddling together on the bed. Here's one that
• 6:21
  Speaker 6: says I was at the pharmacy and a sweet old
• 6:25
  Speaker 6: man in front of me announced to all the pharmacists,
• 6:27
  Speaker 6: I'm so in love with each and every one of you,
• 6:29
  Speaker 6: and there's nothing you can do about it. Someone sent
• 6:33
  Speaker 6: a video of a birthday party they threw for their
• 6:36
  Speaker 6: dog and they're like presenting him with a dog charcouterie
• 6:39
  Speaker 6: board and the dog's really excited.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: This had to be a Brooklyn dog. No, probably. And Stevie,
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: how have you been? What have you been up to?
• 6:53
  Speaker 5: Last night, we were kind of flipping through the channels
• 6:55
  Speaker 5: and Panic Room was on. Have you guys seen Panic.
• 6:57
  Speaker 6: Room a long time ago?
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: Is that with Jody Foster?
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's about home invasion and Jodi Foster and Christian Stewart,
• 7:04
  Speaker 5: her daughter, locked themselves in the Panic Room and they
• 7:08
  Speaker 5: like go out because the bad guys are out there,
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: and like there's this one moment where Jodie Foster realizes
• 7:15
  Speaker 5: she left her cell phone just outside the panic room,
• 7:17
  Speaker 5: and so she like opens the door the Panic room,
• 7:22
  Speaker 5: darts out, grabs her cell phone, and like runs back
• 7:25
  Speaker 5: in and closed the door. And I was like, I
• 7:27
  Speaker 5: feel like that's like our trips to the grocery store.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: It's like, yeah, oh, this is such a weird parallel.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:43
  Speaker 5: I do feel like there are all these small signs
• 7:46
  Speaker 5: of nature re asserting itself. Just I feel like I've
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: been seeing so many birds, like so many blue jays
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: and red card too.
• 7:55
  Speaker 6: Actually I identified a bird call this morning. I was like,
• 7:59
  Speaker 6: you know, I hear that bird all the time, and
• 8:01
  Speaker 6: I'm gonna find out what kind of burd it is?
• 8:04
  Speaker 5: What does it sound like?
• 8:05
  Speaker 6: I'm sure you guys have heard it. It's that one
• 8:07
  Speaker 6: that's like, dude.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Dude, do do do do?
• 8:10
  Speaker 7: Do?
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: Do?
• 8:10
  Speaker 6: Do you know that word?
• 8:12
  Speaker 5: Yes?
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: I do know that part.
• 8:13
  Speaker 6: I hear that bird all the time. And I was
• 8:15
  Speaker 6: finally like, what is it?
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: And so how did you do that? Is there a
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: hizam for bird call?
• 8:21
  Speaker 6: I googled like a descending note bird trill and I
• 8:26
  Speaker 6: had to click around some but I found it. It's
• 8:28
  Speaker 6: a white throated sparrow.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: Obviously, Like, this isn't affecting everybody the same way, but
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: do you feel like there's comfort in the idea that
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: everybody's going through it and everybody's in it together.
• 8:54
  Speaker 6: I think there is comfort in like sort of that
• 8:56
  Speaker 6: feeling of like community, and like it's funny just how
• 9:00
  Speaker 6: many people I've talked to you that are experiencing the
• 9:02
  Speaker 6: same things, and like one of them is that everyone
• 9:06
  Speaker 6: seems to be having really weird, vivid dreams yeah, And
• 9:09
  Speaker 6: I don't totally know why that is, if it's like
• 9:12
  Speaker 6: a stress response or like where it's coming from that
• 9:14
  Speaker 6: it's happening to so many people.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And are you guys dreaming about this moment, like
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: about the virus specifically?
• 9:23
  Speaker 6: Sometimes a little bit. Yeah, But what was actually nice
• 9:27
  Speaker 6: was last night I had a stress dream about trying
• 9:29
  Speaker 6: to catch an Amtrak train and like not being able
• 9:32
  Speaker 6: to get to the right track, and like I woke
• 9:34
  Speaker 6: up and I was like, oh, like nostalgic for the
• 9:38
  Speaker 6: days that I was trying to catch trains.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Stevie, are you what are your dreams?
• 9:43
  Speaker 5: Like, I've just been having this thing where every single
• 9:48
  Speaker 5: moment of waking up has been like awaking from a dream,
• 9:53
  Speaker 5: and I've been enjoying them. Like none of them have
• 9:55
  Speaker 5: been bad. They've all been sort of like that kind
• 10:00
  Speaker 5: of like wonderful dream where you're.
• 10:02
  Speaker 7: Just like.
• 10:05
  Speaker 5: Enjoying being somewhere else or like in some strain world
• 10:10
  Speaker 5: in your head.
• 10:13
  Speaker 6: That's nice.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that is nice. It seems that right now there
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: are a lot of people who are feeling lonely and
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: lonely in a particular kind of way where they're just
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: yearning to reach out to people that they have lost
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: contact with in ways that they feel remiss about. They
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: don't understand why they drifted, and they just want to
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: get back in touch. So at the end of our
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: last check in, we put a call out to people
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: who wanted a little help. So people reached out to us,
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: and a lot of a lot of the emails that
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: people sent and voice messages were very touching and compelling,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: so I talked to a few of them. Hey, Jonathan, So,
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Caesar lives in downtown Los Angeles, and like all of us,
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: he's cooped up at home in his apartment, and lately
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: he finds himself thinking a lot about an old best
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: friend of his, a friend from college named Army.
• 11:23
  Speaker 8: We hung out basically every day. We hung out in
• 11:27
  Speaker 8: her dorm all the time between classes, and we graduated,
• 11:31
  Speaker 8: and she actually helped me get on my feet despite
• 11:34
  Speaker 8: not having much space. She allowed me to stay in
• 11:38
  Speaker 8: her living room on her couch for no money. She said,
• 11:42
  Speaker 8: you know what, just save up towards a deposit, save
• 11:44
  Speaker 8: up towards getting your own furniture, so don't worry about
• 11:47
  Speaker 8: paying me rent. She would go to work and she
• 11:50
  Speaker 8: would sneak. She worked at Mimi's Cafe, which is like
• 11:52
  Speaker 8: a chain restaurant. Okay, she would bring me back like
• 11:57
  Speaker 8: my favorite muffins from there, and I don't know. She
• 12:00
  Speaker 8: was a very encouraging and helpful friend, and I don't
• 12:03
  Speaker 8: feel like I even met her halfway.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: So Armie was dealing with a lot at the time.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: She was an undocumented immigrant from Mexico trying to start
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: a life in the US, and then she started dating
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: a much older man named Mark.
• 12:17
  Speaker 8: She was constantly arguing with him because she felt like
• 12:21
  Speaker 8: it would be beneficial to her if he would marry
• 12:25
  Speaker 8: her so she could get her citizenship squared away and
• 12:29
  Speaker 8: get a job and really get her career going, but
• 12:32
  Speaker 8: he was afraid to do it.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: Caesar says Army would obsess over her relationship with Mark,
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: just replaying the same conversations they had over and over.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Now Caesar's able to see how the relationship with Mark
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: was tied to army sense of security, but at the
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: time he just found it exhausting and so he began
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: to slowly pull away. I, unfortunately, was more of a
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: fair weather friend at the time. I guess what was
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: also going on at the time was that Caesar was
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: coming to terms with the fact that he was gay.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: He wasn't ready to come out yet, but Army and
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: her boyfriend Mark, we're pressuring him.
• 13:10
  Speaker 8: Her boyfriend was the one that was always like poking
• 13:12
  Speaker 8: fun at me, and he would always be like, oh,
• 13:15
  Speaker 8: just come out and say it already.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: So I felt like I.
• 13:18
  Speaker 8: Couldn't because honestly, I didn't want to prove them right.
• 13:20
  Speaker 8: I didn't want to be like, Okay, fine.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: You're right.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So the breaking point came in the form of
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: a missed dinner date. Army had booked the reservation months
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: in advance, but Caesar completely forgot all about it, and
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: instead he went to Disneyland, and Army called him from
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: the restaurant while he was online at Space Mountain.
• 13:43
  Speaker 8: She got really, really, really upset, and I thought, Okay,
• 13:48
  Speaker 8: I just need to apologize. I'll reach out to her
• 13:51
  Speaker 8: later because I feel like she needs maybe a minute
• 13:53
  Speaker 8: to cool off. And that minute turned into I don't know,
• 13:58
  Speaker 8: I think it's been like five six years now. I
• 14:01
  Speaker 8: think about her all the time, and I feel I
• 14:04
  Speaker 8: just feel ashamed, and but I just don't know how
• 14:09
  Speaker 8: to how to approach it.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: So what do you want to do? Do you want
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: to you want to you want to try to reach out.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I do.
• 14:18
  Speaker 8: I've been I've been contemplating doing it for years.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: Do you want to just try cold calling.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: Right now?
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: Let me see you still have her phone number?
• 14:35
  Speaker 8: So I do, but I don't know if it's still
• 14:38
  Speaker 8: her phone number. Let me send her a text. I'm saying, hello,
• 14:46
  Speaker 8: is this still Army's number?
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah? So yeah, we just we just wait and finally
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: he gets a text back and it says, what's up. Sorry,
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: my nine month old keeps me away from the phone,
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: and yeah, so Caesar writes back to her, Wow, you
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: have a baby. That's so nice to hear. He explains that,
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: you know, he lets her know that he's talking to me,
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: and he asks if we can give her a call,
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: and the text is marked red. But he doesn't hear
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: anything back from Army. So we just continue to wait
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: and still nothing, and so finally we just figure, you know,
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: that it couldn't hurt if we just try giving her
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: a call.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: Hello, Hey Army. Yes, Hey, what's up. It's nice to
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: hear your voice. It's been way too long.
• 15:51
  Speaker 9: No, but I'm not promising anything because it's Conor's nap time.
• 15:55
  Speaker 9: So he might get a little loud.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: He's a little crazy, So okay, well let me jump
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: into it. Then.
• 16:03
  Speaker 8: I've been thinking a lot about you throughout the years,
• 16:07
  Speaker 8: but especially more recently, and I wanted to reach out
• 16:13
  Speaker 8: again and apologize for being a crappy friend, for not
• 16:19
  Speaker 8: knowing how to listen to you when you were struggling
• 16:23
  Speaker 8: with figuring out what to do with your life, with
• 16:26
  Speaker 8: your legal statage, with your relationship, forgetting about our freaking
• 16:30
  Speaker 8: dinner reservations at bestie. I left you hanging, and I
• 16:34
  Speaker 8: when I was embarrassed.
• 16:36
  Speaker 9: You see, And when you did that, it was like
• 16:38
  Speaker 9: to me, like you always had so so many friends,
• 16:42
  Speaker 9: ca sir, I did not until this day, I still don't.
• 16:47
  Speaker 9: So when you left me was it was? It was bad?
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: So I just turned away and I have always felt
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: bad about it.
• 16:59
  Speaker 8: I was feeling really awkward about coming out to you.
• 17:04
  Speaker 7: And why were you feeling about coming out to me?
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: It's not like I was home, like.
• 17:09
  Speaker 9: I was like totally open and like.
• 17:13
  Speaker 7: Like I you know, I wasn't going to reject you
• 17:15
  Speaker 7: for that.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: Remember what you told me? You said, I will.
• 17:19
  Speaker 9: Never forget like I told you, Like we're gonna laugh
• 17:21
  Speaker 9: about this like when we're old, you know, and I
• 17:24
  Speaker 9: told you that I will always be there for you.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: That's how I remember it.
• 17:27
  Speaker 8: And I know it sounds really.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Shitty, but I was really I was really afraid to
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: face Mark.
• 17:37
  Speaker 9: And he always says the most inappropriate things, but that's Mark,
• 17:40
  Speaker 9: you know, his sense of humor.
• 17:41
  Speaker 7: So to us, it was just like, just do it,
• 17:43
  Speaker 7: come out of the closet, you know.
• 17:45
  Speaker 9: And I think we were not sensitive to that.
• 17:48
  Speaker 7: Yeah, we're still together and we have a we got married,
• 17:51
  Speaker 7: we have a baby together, So you did, Yeah we did.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, congratulations.
• 17:57
  Speaker 7: We're actually pretty happy. We don't find like cats and
• 18:00
  Speaker 7: dogs anymore. We're pretty happy now, so oh good.
• 18:04
  Speaker 8: I'll be right behind you. I got married in September.
• 18:08
  Speaker 8: I got married to a man, surprise, surprise. His name
• 18:11
  Speaker 8: is Henry. And we've been working to make a baby too.
• 18:15
  Speaker 8: So right now we're in the process of being matched
• 18:18
  Speaker 8: with a surrogate. But yeah, everything's on hold because of
• 18:24
  Speaker 8: the pandemic. Well, honestly, what I wanted to do was
• 18:33
  Speaker 8: just connect and apologize. And I know it's sort of
• 18:41
  Speaker 8: a crummy time with COVID nineteen and everything that's going
• 18:45
  Speaker 8: on and social distancing but you know, I'm hoping maybe
• 18:50
  Speaker 8: in the near future we could see each other again,
• 18:54
  Speaker 8: that can meet your baby and you can be my husband.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: And yeah, I love interesting.
• 19:03
  Speaker 7: Yeah, maybe when all this thing clears out, that'll be
• 19:06
  Speaker 7: an interesting, interesting thing to try.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to say it's not going.
• 19:12
  Speaker 7: To be awkward, but yeah, you'll be had be something.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Okay, thanks again for hearing me out a yeah, well,
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: you take care and I'll talk too soon. Okay, bye bye.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: Do you think you're gonna do you? I mean, do
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: you do you think you will reach out to her again?
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 19:40
  Speaker 8: I will, definitely will. I want to see what a
• 19:42
  Speaker 8: kid looks like and I want to.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 19:47
  Speaker 8: I feel like she made it clear to me that
• 19:50
  Speaker 8: maybe I'm gonna have to be the one to make
• 19:53
  Speaker 8: more of an effort.
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm okay with that.
• 20:05
  Speaker 5: It is funny that people are thinking about reaching out
• 20:08
  Speaker 5: to people and reconnecting at this time when like there's
• 20:14
  Speaker 5: no chance of actually like doing that in a real
• 20:17
  Speaker 5: way for the foreseeable future. You know, like I feel
• 20:21
  Speaker 5: like there's some safety in that almost Yeah.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And also like it just I don't know. One
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: of the things that I felt in listening to the
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: two of them talk is that there's a certain kind
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: of permission that these times grant, but then there's there
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: are certain things that it just cannot do.
• 20:41
  Speaker 5: You know, like she's not just going to forgive him
• 20:43
  Speaker 5: because we're under quarantine.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, it just seems like Caesar is going to
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: have work to do. So there's one more call that
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: I made to somebody that I'd wanted to reach out
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: to and had been meaning to, someone that I'm fond
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: of and whose work I admire. He's an author, podcast host.
• 21:25
  Speaker 6: Even better, V blogger, vlogger, blogger, blogger with a V.
• 21:30
  Speaker 6: Is that a word in the twenty first century?
• 21:32
  Speaker 8: It sure is?
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: All right, what a glorious time we live in.
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: Hello John Green, Hi, how are you good?
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: I assume I'm catching you at home?
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, we're in the library in my house and
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: we set up a microphone, and so.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: I am talking to you from a closet in my basement.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: The only desk that would fit into the closet isn't
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: a desk, a piano bench, And the only chair that
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: would fit under the piano bench is my three year
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: old's child sized chair. And like to pile the indignities on,
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: like I actually had to barter with him to get
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: it from him, you know, Like he was like, but
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: that's my chair, and I was like, I know, but
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: Papa has to go downstairs and earn his keep. How
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: are you faring.
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: Up and down? It has been really hard for me
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: at times, just because I know myself to be alarmist.
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: I know myself to be anxious, I know myself to
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: be a catastrophizer. But you can usually look to the
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: people in your life who don't look at the world
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: the way you do, and you can take their temperature
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: and be like, Okay, well that must be the real reality. Yeah,
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: And now I look at those people and they are
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: not community getting to me that everything is okay, like,
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: you know, like they are freaked out.
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: Like my brother is the sanest person I know and
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: always sees the good side of things, like never acts
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: as if he's under stress even when he is. And
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: he hung up on me yesterday like for the first
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: time in fifteen years, And then I called him back
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: and he was like, sorry, I'm under a lot of stress.
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: And I was like what you huh?
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: Are are there things that have been bringing you comfort lately?
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: I drink one diet Doctor Pepper per day.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: Ah. Yeah, I have one.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: Hundred diet Doctor Pepper's and I'm kind of counting down,
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: assuming that this will be over by the time I
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: get to the last diet Doctor Pepper, or at least
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: that it will be better. Yeah, and oh my god,
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: that one Doctor Pepper a day tastes so flipping good.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: Last night, I had a can of Poke zero that
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: I took out for a walk with me, and that
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: was really nice.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah. A couple of days ago, a neighbor rolled me
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: a beer. I was walking by and he said, do
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: you want a beer? And I said sure, and he
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: rolled the beer to me and then it was at
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: my feet and I was like, I guess I have
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: to pick this up, even though there's no way I'm
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: drinking this until I like wipe it down with sixteen
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: different colorox wipes and like wash my hands up to
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: my elbows. But I kind of like raised the beer
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: to him and I was like thanks, and then I
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: put it in my jacket pocket and I did drink it.
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: I really, I really believe that this. You know, we
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: will get through this, but the way we get through this,
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: like there's this Robert Frost quote I think about all
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: the time. The only way out is through, and I
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: really believe that we are going to get through this.
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: But the only way out is through, and we're going
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: to get through it together.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: I think that's really nice. Yeah, it seems as though
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: like right now people are thinking about people that they've
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: lost touch with for whatever reasons and want to reach out.
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I've been experiencing it so deeply. Oh really, Yeah,
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: because I was my best friend from high school. We
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: loved each other so much and we said I love
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: you all the time, and Todd's love for me like
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: held me together in those years. But what I've been
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: thinking about lately is how much it still holds me
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: together even though I haven't talked to him and I
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: don't know seven or eight years, because the gifts that
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: he gave me, the confidence that he gave me, are
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: still with me. Because I was when I was in
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: high school is such an awkward kid, Like I sort
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: of had to learn by memorization what social cues were.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: And I remember like Todd and I would go to
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: a party and then we'd be driving home from the
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: party and he would be like, yeah, so listen. That
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: was good. That was probably better than last time. A
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: couple notes you stand really close to people when you
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: talk to them, and then they take a half a
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: step back, and then you take a half a step forward,
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: and then eventually they're up against a wall and you're
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: kind of still coming. And that feels a little aggressive
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: to people. So when you notice if somebody is like
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: up against the wall, that means that you've cornered them
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: and you should you should take a step back. Wow,
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: and so all that stuff like that. I still use. No,
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: he's good, Oh he was good. Yeah, So I've been
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: thinking about him a lot.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And have you guys just just drifted no particular reason.
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: No reason, Yeah, no I don't. I don't think so.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: But the distance almost becomes like a vicious cycle, because
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: the longer I go without talking to someone, the more
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: it feels like it will break my heart to talk
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: to them, and the more guilty I feel for not
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: having talk to them.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this guy, his name is Todd. Yeah, you don't
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: feel like calling Todd, do you?
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: I don't know that I know how to call Todd.
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: Oh how come I don't know his number?
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: Oh you lost his number?
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: I was just googling him. Let me. I'm hold on,
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: I'm looking. Yeah, I think it might take me. I
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: think I have a number.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, that was quick.
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it might not be right, but it also might
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: be right. I think it's right. Uh. Yeah, I'm nervous now.
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: Uh is it the idea of the idea of calling
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: of calling him on a podcast without having asked if
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: I could call him on a podcast first?
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: Can I call him? Ask if I can call him
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: on a podcast?
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: And then and then if he's game conference me in maybe.
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm so nervous.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: Well, you know what and here here I mean, if
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: you get on the phone and you never come back
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: to the line, I'll just assume that you guys are
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: are talking and are happily talking and you've forgotten about me.
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: That's a great idea. All right, I'm gonna try this number.
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: We'll see if it were.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll be standing by.
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: Oh it didn't work.
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: Oh what happened?
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: There was a It just was wrong the disconnected number.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: Huh did you try it twice? Make sure you had
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: the number? Great point, That's what I'm here for.
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: Hold on, Okay, let me do it again.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: Try it again.