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Confidence That Sticks: Build It. Feel It. Keep It. · The Nadia Chapman Show

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  Music.
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  Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the Nadia Chapman Show. If you are new here,
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  I'm Nadia Chapman, your go-to mindset coach,
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  farm girl, figure skating coach, and just a lady wearing so many hats and who
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  is deeply passionate about helping you get out of your own damn way and step
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  into a life that you actually want to live.
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  Life is short, and yet here we are again, overthinking our every move,
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  second-guessing ourselves, and just letting fear run the show.
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  Why do we play small so often?
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  And we live like we've got all the time in the world, but we don't.
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  So I'm here to help you, press pause, cut through the noise,
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  and take that power back.
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  Because like I say, mindset work, it's like physical fitness.
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  You can't do it once and just accept results all the time. So you've got to
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  train it. You've got to build it.
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  You've got to strengthen it every single day. Okay, let's go.
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  Let's dive into today's topic. And it's all about confidence.
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  It's something we all need. So whether you're chasing a dream,
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  or you're walking into a boardroom, or you're building a business,
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  or just simply trying to feel good about what you see in the mirror,
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  feel good about yourself.
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  My goal is that by the end of this
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  episode, you see yourself completely differently, but most importantly.
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  Start acting more confidently so it changes the way you see yourself,
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  changes your behavior, and the way you approach things in life.
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  And I'm not talking about fake it till you make it.
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  I mean, deep-rooted, unshakable belief that you can trust yourself,
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  that you can handle what comes,
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  that you are enough as you are and able to do so much more than what you've
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  been allowing yourself to believe.
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  So buckle up, buttercup. Let's get into it.
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  Let's start with the bad news, the lie you've been sold about confidence.
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  And we're going to start here because most people get confidence completely wrong.
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  We think that confidence is something that we're born with, that it's a personality
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  trait, that some people just kind of have it and others don't.
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  But that's false. Confidence is not a trait, guys. It's a skill.
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  And I'm going to explain why. It's something you built and it grows over time.
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  And yes, strengthen over time. It's the result from taking small,
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  bold actions over and over again, especially when you don't feel ready.
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  Because confidence is not the loudest person in the room.
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  Now you think Jimmy right there is confident because he's the loudest, well, think again.
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  It's not pretending to be so cool or important or, you know, better than anyone.
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  Confidence is not arrogance either.
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  Confidence is actually quiet. Yes, it's not in your face like you think it is. It's calm.
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  Confidence is not, oh, they will like me. Confidence is more like,
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  you know what? I'll be fine if they don't like me.
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  Confidence is in walking into a room thinking that you're better than anyone
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  and being arrogant it's walking in that room not having to compare yourself
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  to anyone at all it's being comfortable with who you are what you do and just loving who you are,
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  and that voice within you that confidence you built it so let's be honest for a second.
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  You weren't born lacking confidence.
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  That's actually a bit sad if you think about it.
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  Did you ever watch a toddler try to dance or sing or ask for what they want?
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  They don't care who's watching. They don't apologize.
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  They certainly don't hesitate and they don't overthink, right?
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  They just go. They do it. So today's lesson is act more like a toddler.
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  I'm just kidding. But seriously, so what happened over time? You know what happened?
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  It's actually pretty sad. But what happened with time is that you were taught to doubt yourself.
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  You were taught to play small. You were taught not to be too much.
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  You were taught to stay in your lane. You were taught to only take action after you feel ready.
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  And then life just happened. Slowly you get older. You got criticized. Maybe you got rejected.
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  Maybe you got laughed at. And you started to compare yourself to others,
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  dimming your own light, maybe, thinking that maybe you're not that good.
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  Maybe you're not that great.
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  Maybe you're not that beautiful. And then you started to focus on other people's
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  opinion, the feedback from people, and maybe look at other people's result in
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  life and think that, you know what, I'm behind.
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  Maybe you told yourself, I can't do this. I'm not enough.
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  Maybe you fell once and it just struck with you for a while and maybe even still to this day.
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  So now today, well, you wait, you hesitate, you shrink.
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  Maybe you second guess everything you do. But the good news is that today I'm
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  telling you and teaching you that you can take that confidence back.
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  Because you see, confidence is built through action.
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  It's almost like a muscle. Confidence doesn't just show up before the thing
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  you want to do or that action you need to take that scares the crap out of you.
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  Confidence shows up because you did the thing.
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  So stop waiting to feel confident in order to do the damn thing.
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  You want more confidence?
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  Stop waiting for it. It's that simple. Take the step. Take the leap.
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  Speak up at the next meeting. Launch that idea.
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  Say what you actually think. Leave the thing that drains you.
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  Learn to say no. Set some boundaries.
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  Try the thing that you've been afraid to fail at. Just do it.
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  Go for it. I don't know. Sign up for the talent show.
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  Every time you act in alignment with that version of you who is confident, your brain rewires.
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  You prove to yourself that, you know what? I can handle this.
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  You prove yourself that you won't die of embarrassment and that rejection won't break you.
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  Confidence is the reward of courage.
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  There's your writer downer for this episode. Write this down.
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  Confidence is the reward of courage.
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  And courage, well, that's just action in the presence of fear. That's all it is.
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  Action in the presence of fear gives you courage, and as a reward, you get more confident.
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  I swear, it's like a mathematical equation.
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  So play with me for a second. Close your eyes unless you're driving.
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  Please don't close your eyes if you're driving. And imagine this.
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  Who would you be if you were showing up as your most confident self?
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  What would you say yes to? What would you say no to?
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  What would you stop apologizing for? What would you wear? What boundaries would you finally hold?
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  And what rooms would you walk into and own.
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  And I really want you to think about it. Think about that version of you and feel it.
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  That version of you is not louder, not perfect.
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  That version of you is simply just not carrying the weight of that self-doubt anymore.
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  Isn't that a beautiful thing? Just trust yourself.
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  Just show up fully and stop seeking permission.
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  That version of you is already inside of you. It doesn't need to be created.
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  It just needs to be uncovered.
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  And you get that version of you by taking action anyway.
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  So I'm going to give you six tools today to help you step into your most confident
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  self today. So grab a journal.
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  Trick number one is the five second rule. Yes, the Mel Robbins tricks.
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  So when you feel the nudge to act, but you're hesitating, count down five,
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  four, three, two, one, and go.
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  Don't wait for confidence. Move first. Confidence will catch up.
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  Secondly, change your posture. And I'm not kidding. Power posture, please.
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  And do a little breath reset. It's going to take you a second.
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  Stand tall, shoulders back, feel grounded.
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  Inhale four counts, hold for four, exhale for six.
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  And tell that nervous system of yours, I am safe, I am able.
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  Confidence starts in your body before it shows up in your mind.
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  So hands on your hip, warrior pause, trick your brain into thinking you are
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  the most confident warrior in the world.
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  Number three, confidence evidence journal. What does that mean?
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  Well, every day for maybe a week or two, I want you to write down one thing
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  you did well, one thing that you were afraid to do, but you did anyway.
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  And then one compliment someone gave you, or maybe a compliment that you gave yourself.
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  And by doing this, you're slowly building proof that you are confident because
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  confidence is built with self-trust, but also evidence that you can do hard things.
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  Number four, change the way you talk to yourself. That's your self-talk script.
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  So catch that inner critic and reframe it. Instead of saying,
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  I'm not good enough, say I'm learning and improving every day.
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  Or instead of what if I mess up? What if this is the moment it all clicks?
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  Confidence is built on reputation. So speak to yourself like someone you believe in. Okay.
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  Number five, I want you to start acting like the future you.
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  So think of the most confident version of yourself.
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  How do they walk? How do they speak?
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  What do they say yes or no to? And now, today, I want you to start showing up like them.
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  Number six, what's the worst that could happen to you? Exercise.
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  So write down your fears and then write down the worst case scenarios and ask
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  yourself, could I handle this? Or what would I do next?
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  Most of the time, the worst isn't actually that bad. You probably already survived
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  worse. So these are just fun, practical tools that you can set in place to help
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  you build more confidence.
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  But before we wrap this up, here's the truth.
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  You don't need to be fearless to be confident. You just need to move anyway.
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  Because confidence is not something that you wait for.
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  It's something that you build over time again and again, step by step.
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  So this week, I want you to stop overthinking and start moving.
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  The confident version of you is already here.
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  It's within you. It's closer than you think. If this episode hits home,
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  send it to someone who might need a reminder today.
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  And if you are putting in place some of the tools that I'm giving you and you're
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  getting great results, please let me know.
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  I love hearing back from everybody. I'll see you next week on the Nadia Chapman
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  Show And until then, stay brave, stay bold, and stay youthful.
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  Music.