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When should I ask for help with caring duties? · Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Caring for someone can bring real closeness and meaning, and it can also ask a lot of you, often with very little time to rest.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: And many carers wonder when the right moment is to ask for help with care and duties, and many wait a long time because they want to do right by the person they care for, and asking sooner tends to protect both of you.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Now, a good time to ask for help with care and duties is when you notice any of these.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: So you might be feeling overwhelmed and can't coat much of the time, you're physically worn out with ongoing tiredness or pain, your mood is low, irritable, or changing a lot, the person's needs have increased and you're doing more than before, you're missing your own appointments, friends, or hobbies, and often feeling isolated, maybe your daily routines keep falling apart, or you're facing tasks you don't feel skilled for, like managing medication, for instance, or simply because you just need a break.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And any one of these is reason enough to reach out and in an emergency or when facing a tough decision about their care, always ask for help straight away.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now many carers hold the thought of I should be able to manage this myself, and I suggest you try testing that thought.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: What would you say to a friend in your position?
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: As most people would encourage that friend to get support, then give yourself a score from 0 to 10 for how manageable caring feels right now, and whatever that number is, then ask yourself what would move it up by just one point.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: As often the answer is one small specific task that someone else could take on where possible.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: And practical ways to support yourself with this might be to write down your caring duties in a typical week and mark the ones that drain you the most and the ones someone else could do.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: So choose one and think of a person, such as a family member, friend or neighbour, and ask them directly.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: And a specific request like doing the weekly shop or sitting with a person for a couple hours is easier for people to say yes to.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it's also important to plan a regular break into your week and treat it as something that's non-negotiable.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: And you might also want to share how you're really doing with someone you trust as well.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Now it might be best to speak to your GP if tiredness, pain, low mood, or anxiety are lasting or if your own health has been affected.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: There is also your local council that can arrange a carer's assessment, which looks at the support you might need, and local carer services and organisations such as the Carerers UK offer advice, support groups, and information about respite care as well.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: And if the person's needs have changed, their GP or care team can review their care, and a therapist can also give you space to talk through what you're carrying.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: You might want to go back to the app's resources on knowing when to ask for help for further support on this matter.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: If you are thinking about harming yourself or feeling safe, then please seek urgent help by contacting your local emergency number or a crisis helpline.