Latest / I Do, Part 2 / An Unlikely Friendship with Lala Kent and Ambyr Childers

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An Unlikely Friendship with Lala Kent and Ambyr Childers · I Do, Part 2

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Hey there, everybody.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Welcome to this edition of Amy and TJ, where I've
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: already messed up the word everybody. But that's what happens
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: when I start podcast. TJ, why do you let me
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: start podcasts?
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: Because you were excited about this one, and you girls
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: were chopping it up. This is a first of its
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: kind episode for us, so I can see why you're
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: a little nervous.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I got nervous, a little intimidated.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: Folks are about to talk to yes, because they have
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: a podcast called Unlikely Affair, and I just want to
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: make sure nobody.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Thinks that's the new name of our podcast. Let's not
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: confuse anybody.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: An Unlikely Affair, Laala Kent and Average Childers and they
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: just started this podcast a month ago, so with their podcasters,
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: or at least we know that Lala has her podcast.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: And obviously everyone knows Amber and Lala, because yes, they're
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: on your television screens, they're in movie theaters, they are everywhere,
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: and now they're together, which is a huge part of
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: the story. I don't know where to begin. Maybe we
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: begin with Amber. Amber, you're married, you got two kids.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Tell me what happened?
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: What year was this was it twenty seventeen is when
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: it all started to unravel.
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: Well for everybody else, it started unraveling the day I
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: said I do, I went to say I don't, but
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: I am.
• 1:24
  Speaker 5: Something just came out.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: In all seriousness. Really, do you really think you may?
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: You could go back to your wedding day and think
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: this was a mistake all that day. You felt that,
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: not later.
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: But yeah, and I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why.
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: When you when you get married, you think, as a woman,
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: you think, oh my god, this is going to be
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: so romantic. And we eloped and I agreed to Elope,
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: and that was all. I didn't want to be a
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: princess walking down the aisle. That was like not my thing.
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: But when you go home at night and.
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: You're like, all right, let's we're gonna have like sex
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: for the first time as a married couple, and like
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: it's going to be sexy, and oh, it's going to
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: feel so different and passionate because now we're like one
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: and we're married. And you look over at your partner
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: and you say hey, and he's like, I'm too tired.
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: Not tonight. You're like, I think I just made the
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: biggest mistake of my life.
• 2:13
  Speaker 5: That's called coke. Actually, thank you, We're welcome coke.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: Oh got fine?
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: So on your wedding night, you were like, what have
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: I done? Get that? So how how do you think?
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Because you were married for technically what seven years or so?
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, almost eight, I think by the time. I think
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: almost eight by the time everything was finalized.
• 2:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: You you know what, I think a lot of my
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: mentality back then. And it's so I feel like I'm
• 2:47
  Speaker 4: talking about a separate person, right, because the person that
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: you are today is you look back and you're like, wow,
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: I just want to like go hug her or slap her, right.
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: I I grew up in a Mormon family, so for me,
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: I had all these values of what a marriage should
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: look like. And obviously my ex was not Mormon, but
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: I still valued marriage. My parents, you know, met when
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: they were in high school and still to this day
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: that they're married. So divorce wasn't even in my vocabulary.
• 3:16
  Speaker 5: And I'm a fighter.
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: I wanted to keep fighting for my marriage from the
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: first time, you know, things started to go wrong and
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: I was just.
• 3:24
  Speaker 5: I believe in love.
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: I was sold the fairy tale that you know, Walt
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: Disney sold every little girl sitting on their couch going
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: that Prince Charming is going to come rescue me, and
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: you're like, wait no, maybe he'll come the next chapter
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: of my life, or maybe maybe this baby will help it,
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: or maybe this trip will help it, or maybe you
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: know what. You just make all these excuses up, and
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: eventually you end up becoming the sick person. Because that's
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: essentially what happened. I was became a broken human being
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: where I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. I
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: didn't know who I was anymore. I completely lost my identity.
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: My family was not happy. I truly couldn't come to
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: them and tell them about everything that was going on
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: in my marriage because my dad would have shown up
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: with a shotgun in two second. Listen, I wanted you
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: to feel some pain too. You had to go through
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: it as well.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: All right, that's that's We should have put a disclaimer
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: at the beginning that this is a crossover and therefore
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: some language here you're going to hear that you're not
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: used to hearing them.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: We dropped some curse words every now and then. Trust me,
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: one kind of has a ring to it.
• 4:40
  Speaker 5: I feel like there's a song.
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: So so essentially, yeah, I I you know, I just stayed.
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: I stayed because you know, I tell people this all
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: the time. I stayed because of my kids. I really did.
• 4:52
  Speaker 5: I didn't know.
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: I didn't want them to come from a broken family.
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: And ultimately I stayed shooting any you know, years and
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: eventually the tape that I witnessed and saw was it
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: for me.
• 5:07
  Speaker 5: And I decided one day.
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: I was like, if I needed to leave for my kids,
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: I wanted to show them a good example. And I
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: said this to my kids, sometimes two homes are better
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: than one. And really that was a hard thing for
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: me to accept. And I'll never forget sitting down with
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: the kids and telling them that we were going to
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: get divorced. It was awful, awful, you know. My Riley,
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: my youngest one, was so little. London understood and she
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: was very emotional about it. Who It's hard, but ultimately
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: it was the best decision. You know. It's like those
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: really painful moments that you because then it wasn't about
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: me or him or Laala at that point, it was
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: about the kids, right, yeah, thank you.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: How so we get to listening to what you're saying.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: Folks didn't see that moment. But Laala is the one
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: that just put her hand on your back to comforts
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: you as you're in tears. Now, can you all explain
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: how unlikely and incredible the idea is that this woman
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: is comforting you right now, given we haven't gotten into
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: a lot of you mentioned the tape you saw and whatnot,
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: but just how incredible it is the fact that you
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: all are sitting here supporting each other. And this is
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: where we get into some of the story that some
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: people know and some people don't know.
• 6:24
  Speaker 5: Yeah, well, I feel like her story was shared.
• 6:28
  Speaker 6: You know, we talked about this when you guys were
• 6:31
  Speaker 6: on our podcast about you know, people taking control of
• 6:35
  Speaker 6: your narrative.
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: Amber's story was very much.
• 6:39
  Speaker 6: Hijacked by a reality TV show called vander Pump Rules.
• 6:43
  Speaker 6: And as much as our story has so many nuances,
• 6:50
  Speaker 6: you know, you at some point.
• 6:51
  Speaker 5: Have to just call it what it is. She was
• 6:53
  Speaker 5: his wife. I was his mistress.
• 6:56
  Speaker 6: I was twenty five at the time time of getting
• 7:01
  Speaker 6: into a relationship with him, and he had portrayed that
• 7:04
  Speaker 6: he was going through a separation that was going to
• 7:08
  Speaker 6: end in divorce. And I feel like every time my
• 7:12
  Speaker 6: gut spoke to me, I silenced it with alcohol.
• 7:18
  Speaker 5: And I've talked about this before.
• 7:19
  Speaker 6: I don't want to say that my alcoholism came from him,
• 7:25
  Speaker 6: because I think it was alive and well within me
• 7:27
  Speaker 6: for many years. I just think it became when I
• 7:30
  Speaker 6: pinpoint when it got out of control. It was when
• 7:33
  Speaker 6: he came into my life. And I'm now over seven
• 7:38
  Speaker 6: years sober. Congratulations, Thank you so much. And when I
• 7:41
  Speaker 6: when I hear her talk about these times, and you know,
• 7:46
  Speaker 6: her talking to her kids, you know, there's so much
• 7:49
  Speaker 6: shame that comes, and I've tried.
• 7:51
  Speaker 5: To work through it. I'm crying again. I'm sweet.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: Sorry, But you know what, I think it's so beautiful Laala,
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: that you're able to to own it and say I
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: was twenty five, I made a mistake. I feel deep
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: regret and shame for how Amber feels right now, but
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: I think it's a beautiful thing that you're able. Look
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: at the two of.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: You right now, it's pretty incredible, unbelievable story.
• 8:16
  Speaker 5: It is an unbelievable story.
• 8:17
  Speaker 6: I think that you hear a lot of people, you know,
• 8:20
  Speaker 6: going through divorces, and then each person finds their person
• 8:23
  Speaker 6: and then they end up all liking each other. It's
• 8:25
  Speaker 6: very weird that the wife finds her husband and a
• 8:30
  Speaker 6: sex tape with me on it, and we're the ones
• 8:33
  Speaker 6: that end up together non romantically, but we're the ones
• 8:36
  Speaker 6: still standing and he's, you know, wherever he is.
• 8:41
  Speaker 5: And people ask me like, how could you not know
• 8:44
  Speaker 5: that he was married?
• 8:47
  Speaker 6: And I can't answer that because I think had I
• 8:49
  Speaker 6: not been drinking, I would have I would have known.
• 8:52
  Speaker 5: I didn't know. I just chose to silence my gut.
• 8:56
  Speaker 6: And forget about all of the red flags that were
• 8:59
  Speaker 6: right in front of me. And actually, after I got sober,
• 9:03
  Speaker 6: and this was lightly covered on vander Pump Rules. After
• 9:06
  Speaker 6: I got sober, I remember saying to him, you know,
• 9:11
  Speaker 6: I have this scarlet letter that I'm wearing and I
• 9:15
  Speaker 6: needed to go away. You know, I'm labeled a home
• 9:17
  Speaker 6: wrecking whrror and I need to know for a fact
• 9:20
  Speaker 6: that you were not married and that I did not
• 9:23
  Speaker 6: wreck this home.
• 9:24
  Speaker 5: That is weighing heavy on me.
• 9:26
  Speaker 6: And he said, I have worked with a therapist and
• 9:29
  Speaker 6: we are going to fly to Arizona and she is
• 9:31
  Speaker 6: going to tell you, because she's been with me from
• 9:33
  Speaker 6: the beginning, that you did not wreck my home. We
• 9:37
  Speaker 6: fly out to Arizona, we work with this woman. She
• 9:40
  Speaker 6: tells me the marriage was over, you did not wreck anything.
• 9:44
  Speaker 6: I left feeling so great that that was the validation
• 9:47
  Speaker 6: I needed.
• 9:48
  Speaker 5: Cut to.
• 9:51
  Speaker 6: October fifteenth of twenty twenty one. My daughter is seven
• 9:55
  Speaker 6: months old. The picture surface of my ex and this woman.
• 9:58
  Speaker 6: My gut speaks to me. I'm sober now, I go
• 10:01
  Speaker 6: somethingate right. I end up leaving him. I get Amber
• 10:05
  Speaker 6: on the phone to make amends. We start, you know,
• 10:08
  Speaker 6: slowly but surely, having communication.
• 10:11
  Speaker 5: I asked her about this therapist.
• 10:13
  Speaker 6: She goes, that was our couple's therapist when Randall and
• 10:17
  Speaker 6: I were working on our marriage. I called this therapist
• 10:20
  Speaker 6: you guys, and I tell her, you know, this is
• 10:24
  Speaker 6: what I've been told. And she goes, well, I can't
• 10:26
  Speaker 6: discuss Amber because she was, you know, my patient.
• 10:29
  Speaker 5: I said, well, you.
• 10:30
  Speaker 6: Certainly had no problem discussing her when I came to
• 10:33
  Speaker 6: visit you with my ex. Her response to me, I
• 10:36
  Speaker 6: just don't understand how this is a problem for you, Lola.
• 10:39
  Speaker 6: We had many great sessions. I said, this is not
• 10:42
  Speaker 6: a problem for me. This is a huge problem for you.
• 10:46
  Speaker 6: I was like, I got a lot on my plate,
• 10:47
  Speaker 6: but I'm going to come back to you. I will
• 10:49
  Speaker 6: come back for you girl.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: This is it.
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: She still working as a therapist.
• 10:52
  Speaker 5: I have no idea. My plate got really full. I
• 10:56
  Speaker 5: was like, I can't worry about this.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: Therapist conversations that you decided to reach out, is that
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: the first time you all had interacted. You said you
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: decided to reach out slowly and you started talking. But
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: was that the first time you all started interacting.
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: We had an interaction a few separate times, you know,
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: we attempted I think one or two birthday parties.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: It was just really.
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: Uncomfortable and really at the end of the day is
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: he didn't want us close and I at some point
• 11:26
  Speaker 4: I was like, you know what, let's just make this
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: work right. And it was. It was a constant intervening
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: by his part, in addition to at some at some
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: points we were especially during the pandemic, and we were all,
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: you know, trying to just survive. Her and I had
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: our few disputes. But I even said to you yesterday,
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: I always wanted to be, you know, close with you.
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: I didn't I wouldn't need to be best friends, but
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: you know, for the sake of the children and now ocean,
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: and it's like, let's make this work for everybody and
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: put our anger and bitterness aside.
• 12:01
  Speaker 6: That was not easy though. I was very intimidated by her.
• 12:06
  Speaker 6: You know, she was an actress. I was on reality
• 12:09
  Speaker 6: TV acting a damn fool. She had talent, she was
• 12:14
  Speaker 6: on Red Car, but she was like everything I was
• 12:17
  Speaker 6: not on top of the person i'm with has two
• 12:22
  Speaker 6: children with her, and we're all parents now we know
• 12:24
  Speaker 6: that that love is like and I like blamed her
• 12:28
  Speaker 6: for that.
• 12:29
  Speaker 5: I'm like, you gave him what I have not given him.
• 12:32
  Speaker 6: Now that I'm in the I'm like, if someone were
• 12:34
  Speaker 6: to come like, I hate them, right, you.
• 12:36
  Speaker 5: Don't got to worry about him. She is my everything.
• 12:39
  Speaker 6: He's you know, background noise. But I looked at her
• 12:42
  Speaker 6: and felt very intimidated, and I think I was jealous.
• 12:46
  Speaker 6: And then you add the alcohol and it just fueled
• 12:49
  Speaker 6: a part of me that was it would just.
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: Breed toxicity.
• 12:54
  Speaker 6: Every moment that you know, her name was mentioned and
• 12:57
  Speaker 6: I chose to drink to numb things. I was a
• 13:00
  Speaker 6: person that I was not proud of. And even though
• 13:04
  Speaker 6: we had moments when I was with him where we
• 13:07
  Speaker 6: could have you know, productive conversations, it always ended in flames.
• 13:13
  Speaker 5: Whether it was his fault or not, it didn't matter.
• 13:15
  Speaker 6: The day that I left him and I had to
• 13:18
  Speaker 6: really sit with myself and go it was I would
• 13:20
  Speaker 6: be myself up.
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: I'm like, you deserved this.
• 13:23
  Speaker 6: You stepped in, You ruined someone's home, and now you
• 13:28
  Speaker 6: know what she.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: Was feeling because he stepped out on you.
• 13:31
  Speaker 5: Correct.
• 13:33
  Speaker 6: But it also made sense when she told me you
• 13:35
  Speaker 6: saved me because I looked at this girl who I'm like,
• 13:37
  Speaker 6: I'm angry at you, but also you saved me because
• 13:39
  Speaker 6: I did not like this person.
• 13:41
  Speaker 5: I didn't want to be with him. Isn't it wild?
• 13:44
  Speaker 5: Because then you go, why do you have a baby
• 13:45
  Speaker 5: with him? And I'm like, I don't really know. I'm
• 13:48
  Speaker 5: really glad she's here, though.
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: Well, this idea that this that this pattern is underway,
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: that you were married to him, he's dealing with you.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: You saved her.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: From him, This other woman saved you from him, and
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: maybe some other woman is going to come along and
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: save this new That's weird that you all have put
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: it into well context, that is insane. What beefs did
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: you all actually have? You talk about jealous but as
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: far as conflict, did you did you blame her for
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: what was happening in your marriage for sure.
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: Well I really blame both of them, but of course
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: I wanted to because there was this love that I
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: had with my ex right there was. I didn't ever
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: love her. I loved my ex and I wanted my
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: family to stay together. So for the longest time, I
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: I would find any reason to be mad at her,
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: you know, and especially when another woman is stepping in.
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: Not only did she, you know, take over my family
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: and my marriage, but now she's stepping in and taking
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: care of my children. So it's like, okay, you could
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: take care of him, but now you're coming in and
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: Mama Bear's going to come out and now.
• 14:56
  Speaker 5: So that was really hard.
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: But after I let my guard down and just really
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: put my anger aside, and I have said this before
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: on our podcast, she really helped me. My family life
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: at his house was so calm. She made sure the
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: kids went to bed on time, made sure that they
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: had good vegetables, made sure, you know, it was like
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: she was the mother hen And I was so grateful
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: because now I see the dysfunction not having.
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: A woman in the house, and I'm like, would you
• 15:31
  Speaker 5: go back? Would I need you over there?
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: But I am I know.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: I am in awe of both of you, by the way,
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: because we too often hear these stories, and I get
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: it it might be human nature, but cat fights and
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: girls blaming the other woman and not blaming their husband
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: or not blaming who they were actually in a relationship,
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: but always going after the other woman, right, and a
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: younger woman too.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: So it's like your classic moment where you're like, how
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: dare you right? How did you get from?
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: And I know you said you reached out after you
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: left him, but how did you go from maybe tolerating
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: and maybe slightly appreciating maybe what she gave your kids
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: while you weren't there, to becoming a unit, a team
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: and having a deep friendship That seems impossible to me.
• 16:18
  Speaker 6: It is very strange, I'm gonna tell you, and I'm
• 16:20
  Speaker 6: sure sorry to your listeners who don't hear language like this.
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: But was it last night or this morning? When oh,
• 16:28
  Speaker 5: this morning.
• 16:28
  Speaker 6: I was in the shower and we're talking. She's in
• 16:31
  Speaker 6: the bathroom and I'm finished. I opened the curtain and
• 16:34
  Speaker 6: she's on the toilet going number one.
• 16:37
  Speaker 5: But I go, we're really comfortable with each other, aren't we?
• 16:42
  Speaker 5: How did this happen?
• 16:43
  Speaker 6: Like it really is so strange because it's gone so
• 16:47
  Speaker 6: far beyond like the person we had in common. Right,
• 16:50
  Speaker 6: you can have someone in common, it doesn't mean you're
• 16:52
  Speaker 6: gonna connect. We had two separate rooms out here, you guys.
• 16:56
  Speaker 6: We went to the front desk. We were like, we're
• 16:57
  Speaker 6: gonna need us one room a suite because we would
• 17:01
  Speaker 6: like to be with each other.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: That's crazy.
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: That is crazy to me.
• 17:05
  Speaker 6: And I think he obviously had a type, which I'm
• 17:09
  Speaker 6: thrilled about because I really love you.
• 17:11
  Speaker 5: You're very pretty.
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: Sorry, that's amazing. I've seen that naked body. I know
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: why he's slept with you.
• 17:17
  Speaker 5: I would have too.
• 17:19
  Speaker 6: I don't know I'm going to turn reve but I
• 17:22
  Speaker 6: think personality wise too, because we can both go to
• 17:25
  Speaker 6: the mats.
• 17:26
  Speaker 5: We're both very open about talking. I mean I'm a
• 17:29
  Speaker 5: little bit more vulgar than she is, obviously.
• 17:32
  Speaker 6: But like just our conversations, I leave with my cup
• 17:36
  Speaker 6: filling so full after being around her.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: And you guys share daughters. Your daughters are sisters, Yes, yeah, yes,
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: that what a gift to them that you want.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: Because I'm this could make me emotional thinking about how
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: often like my daughter who's nineteen just called me and
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: talking about girls tearing other girls down and she's upset
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: because someone said something about something and oftentimes.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: There's a boy involved.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: Right, So what an example for your daughters to see
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: this bond and this friendship.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: I think it's so beautiful.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: I'm blown away because both of you all had to
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: shed your egos and shed blameing. It's so easy to
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: blame the other woman, right, yeah, to say no, what
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: did I do wrong? Or how can I be like
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: you were even talking about basically saying I need to
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: understand this other woman and not just point the finger
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: at her and see and be with her and have
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: us be a united film just for my kid's sake initially,
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: but then to allow her into your you have to
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: open up your heart and be very vulnerable to do
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: what you all are doing.
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: It took a while to get there, but I think
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: for me a big part of it was, you know,
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: getting sober as well. That really changed my life and
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: working a program and it's not you know, I learned
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: about forgiveness when I went to church every Sunday, right
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: or I went to seminary, which is church before school.
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: It was a different I really had to have a
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: relationship with gain a relationship with a higher power to
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: really understand that.
• 19:08
  Speaker 5: Lawless human right. My ex is my ex.
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: You can't change people he is, And I tell my kids,
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: you know, every day we have to love him for
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: who he is where he is. Right Does that mean
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: some days I want to freaking strangle him sometimes? But
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: he is who he is, and we're all human at
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: the end of the day. And there's, like I said before,
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: there's so much stuff going on in the world that
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: if I could just be a little bit of an
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: example or to someone on social media or that is
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: listening to this podcast to know that you can find
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: happiness and love does always win. I didn't want to
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: It's like I didn't want to die, and hating her
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: was killing me. It wasn't doing anything to her. She
• 19:50
  Speaker 4: was going to go live her life no matter what.
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: So I had to make a choice of Okay, you
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: really need to stop and look at the bigger picture.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: Here.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: Can you give, for just a moment to every young
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: woman woman out there listening who ends up in a
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: position where they are targeting or think it's the other
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: woman's fault and they're not I guess putting a lot
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: of responsibility. Maybe on the guy they're in a relationship with.
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: How is it you all were able to do something
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: and not direct all that anger or continue to direct
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: it towards the other woman like we As you mentioned
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: it just women always pit it against each other no
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: matter what it is. It seems like, how did give
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: some advice really to women listening? How do you get
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: past that? Stop doing that?
• 20:38
  Speaker 6: Well? I think women are looked at as like provocateurs, right,
• 20:41
  Speaker 6: Like we walk in and we're like it's.
• 20:43
  Speaker 5: Like we lure them in, and it's like, well, hold on,
• 20:46
  Speaker 5: let's calm down a little bit, and it is. It's
• 20:51
  Speaker 5: very tough to not.
• 20:54
  Speaker 6: Go up against the woman and hold the man accountable.
• 20:59
  Speaker 6: I think time and I think taking a step back.
• 21:04
  Speaker 5: I mean, I'm.
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: She.
• 21:07
  Speaker 6: I think where she and I were different was he
• 21:11
  Speaker 6: had stepped out many times on her, and I'm sure
• 21:13
  Speaker 6: he did on me too. But you really, I think
• 21:16
  Speaker 6: you loved him at some point and you really fought
• 21:18
  Speaker 6: for it.
• 21:18
  Speaker 5: I don't think I ever loved him like that. I
• 21:22
  Speaker 5: didn't really care. It's like, go sleep with.
• 21:24
  Speaker 6: Whoever you want, as long as I don't have to
• 21:26
  Speaker 6: be doing it anymore, Like, go do what you need
• 21:28
  Speaker 6: to do. And so sadly it was the common bond
• 21:35
  Speaker 6: of like being done dirty by this person. So I
• 21:40
  Speaker 6: think if you can take a step back and point
• 21:43
  Speaker 6: out what am I mad about?
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: Here?
• 21:45
  Speaker 5: Am I mad about this woman coming in? Yes? Am
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: I mad that he stepped out on me? You really
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: have to.
• 21:50
  Speaker 6: Pinpoint what it is that has made you feel the
• 21:54
  Speaker 6: way you're feeling. And also, and this is the hardest part,
• 21:58
  Speaker 6: and I think this is sobriety.
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: What part did I play in this?
• 22:02
  Speaker 6: Because my part exists somewhere within this.
• 22:07
  Speaker 5: What did I not give?
• 22:08
  Speaker 6: And it's not taking blame, but when I did remove
• 22:14
  Speaker 6: myself and go, you know this happened because of you two.
• 22:18
  Speaker 6: That is when I was able to see her as
• 22:22
  Speaker 6: my person. You know, because we're women, we have so
• 22:25
  Speaker 6: much in We have more in common with each other
• 22:27
  Speaker 6: when we than we do with these men. I mean
• 22:29
  Speaker 6: that is clear as day. When you can find that
• 22:33
  Speaker 6: that common ground with a woman, I mean, you feel
• 22:35
  Speaker 6: so seen.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: It's true.
• 22:37
  Speaker 6: I felt so seen by her and so supportive. I
• 22:40
  Speaker 6: mean when I left him, I didn't tell my closest
• 22:43
  Speaker 6: friends where I was staying because I was so terrified
• 22:46
  Speaker 6: he would find me. I let this woman know where
• 22:48
  Speaker 6: I was staying the woman who was like my enemy
• 22:51
  Speaker 6: and for no reason over this man.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: Come on, come on, oh my, this is awesome. So
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: your podcast, as we mentioned, just launched in January. What
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: are you all tackling together? What are your topics?
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: What? What will listeners get when they tune into your podcast?
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: Us We've already been guessed on this brand new podcast.
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: I know we're so grateful. You guys were amazing. You
• 23:18
  Speaker 5: had me crying, laughing, feeling hopeful about love. But that's it.
• 23:23
  Speaker 5: I think that's it. Hopeful in love.
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: I mean for me, I don't want to speak, I
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: don't want to speak for you, but I think for me,
• 23:28
  Speaker 4: for our podcast is and I don't want it to
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: be so sappy.
• 23:33
  Speaker 5: I want to share our story.
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: We could talk about our past, because that's how we
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: grow and we learn. And my biggest like lessons in
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: life have been from those dark moments. But then let's
• 23:43
  Speaker 4: talk about moving forward. Like we're talking about dating. She
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: gives me dating advice. I'm like, you need to.
• 23:48
  Speaker 5: Pick my next guy, and I'm going to pick your
• 23:49
  Speaker 5: next guy.
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: And like it's just we have these funny conversations that
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: you know, it's like she's my sister.
• 23:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that I would have with my sister.
• 23:56
  Speaker 6: There's really no topic that is off limits, whether it's
• 24:00
  Speaker 6: co parenting with a narcissist or you're, you know.
• 24:03
  Speaker 5: Getting getting involved with a new guy. When do you
• 24:06
  Speaker 5: introduce the kids? I don't know.
• 24:08
  Speaker 6: You know, these are all things that a lot of
• 24:10
  Speaker 6: people are dealing with, and I want to make sure
• 24:14
  Speaker 6: that people know that an Unlikely Affair is not a
• 24:17
  Speaker 6: podcast where you come to hear us just bash our
• 24:20
  Speaker 6: X like he's actually very insignificant in the bigger picture.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: Right, I thought that was a compliment.
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: Would ever be a compliment coming out of my mouth?
• 24:33
  Speaker 5: That made that very cool?
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: Wow, she's gonna say something nice about him.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: But actually that was well, I feel that was the
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: best get insignificant.
• 24:42
  Speaker 6: Yeah, And so it's the dynamic and how we started,
• 24:45
  Speaker 6: But ultimately it's like we want to be the podcast
• 24:48
  Speaker 6: you come to to hear about. Like, you know, I'm
• 24:51
  Speaker 6: thirty five, I don't know how to get back in
• 24:54
  Speaker 6: the dating scene.
• 24:55
  Speaker 5: I've got a baby with a sperm.
• 24:57
  Speaker 6: Donor, and like some would give me some freaking invice,
• 25:00
  Speaker 6: I know, I'm not alone.
• 25:02
  Speaker 5: A podcast where you feel a little less alone.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that we will be tuning in. This
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: has been such a pleasure getting to know the two
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: of you, and I love the idea that we can
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: be down, we can get knocked down.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: And seeing people. I think people love to knock people
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: down and to contribute to that.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: But then everyone wants you to rise from the ashes
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: and to be those women that other women can look to.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: You know how many women are going through different versions
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: of what you all, and they've played different roles. But
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: everyone wants to have a good guy and a bad guy,
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: or a good girl and a bad girl, and we're
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: sometimes we're all of the above. Yeah, and if we
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: can just rise above it and join together. I love
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: your story and I think it's so inspiring. I'm so
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: happy that.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: We met you and we're going to be listening for you.
• 25:51
  Speaker 5: Thank you guys so much.