Latest / Your Utmost Life / My Day Is Just Full (Why It’s Not Your Season, It’s Your Design)

Transcript

My Day Is Just Full (Why It’s Not Your Season, It’s Your Design) · Your Utmost Life

• 0:00
  Misty Celli: Pull up your calendar for tomorrow.
• 0:01
  Misty Celli: Not the one that you dream will happen, but the one steeped in reality.
• 0:05
  Misty Celli: There's the appointment you're driving your mom to, the call you said you take at 10, the groceries, the thing your husband asked about last night, and the three things you didn't even write down because you'll just handle them.
• 0:15
  Misty Celli: Now look for your name.
• 0:16
  Misty Celli: Not your name next to a task, but your name on a block of time that belongs to you.
• 0:21
  Misty Celli: You don't see it, do you?
• 0:23
  Misty Celli: You're probably telling yourself the same thing that you've been telling yourself for a while now.
• 0:27
  Misty Celli: My day is just full.
• 0:28
  Misty Celli: That's this season of life.
• 0:30
  Misty Celli: Your day isn't full because you're bad with your time.
• 0:33
  Misty Celli: But here's the deal squeezing one more thing into it will never fix it.
• 0:38
  Misty Celli: Your day fills up before you've ever had a turn for a reason.
• 0:41
  Misty Celli: And once you see it and understand it, you can't unsee it, but you can do something about it.
• 0:47
  Misty Celli: By the end of this episode, you'll understand why this season keeps lasting so long and two simple shifts that put you back in control of your day, starting today.
• 0:56
  Misty Celli: Stay with me because at the end, I'll show you exactly where to begin.
• 1:00
  Misty Celli: Do you ever look around your own home, your own calendar, your own day, and realize there isn't much of you in it?
• 1:05
  Misty Celli: Or catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and barely recognize the woman looking back, the one who once dreamed big with passion and purpose beyond meeting everyone else's needs?
• 1:14
  Misty Celli: You keep the meals planned, the bills paid, and the whole household moving.
• 1:17
  Misty Celli: But somewhere along the way, you left yourself off the list.
• 1:20
  Misty Celli: If you have ever had that quiet thought, is this really all there is?
• 1:23
  Misty Celli: And then immediately pushed it away because even thinking it felt selfish, you're in the right place.
• 1:28
  Misty Celli: You were never meant to disappear into your roles.
• 1:31
  Misty Celli: You are more than everyone's everything.
• 1:33
  Misty Celli: You are someone.
• 1:35
  Misty Celli: And somewhere inside, you already know that.
• 1:37
  Misty Celli: This is where you remember who you are, not who you've had to be for everyone else.
• 1:42
  Misty Celli: And you start designing a life that actually includes you, one on purpose, fully alive.
• 1:47
  Misty Celli: Welcome to your Up Most Life Podcast.
• 1:49
  Misty Celli: I'm Misty, an identity and self-leadership coach for women.
• 1:52
  Misty Celli: If you haven't hit follow or subscribe yet, do it now because you deserve a life that includes you starting today.
• 1:58
  Misty Celli: Now let's get into it.
• 2:00
  Misty Celli: If your calendar is so full that you've stopped looking for yourself on it, there's nothing wrong with you.
• 2:04
  Misty Celli: And I am so glad that you are here.
• 2:06
  Misty Celli: You can probably see a day like that right now.
• 2:08
  Misty Celli: You're up before everyone else and moving the second your feet hit the floor.
• 2:12
  Misty Celli: The list runs through your head before the coffee even starts.
• 2:15
  Misty Celli: By lunch, you've answered a dozen texts, handled two things no one had on their radar, and have completely forgotten about the protein bar that you threw in your purse for lunch.
• 2:23
  Misty Celli: And somewhere in the middle of it, you heard that quiet little voice say, I'll get to me later.
• 2:28
  Misty Celli: Later never comes.
• 2:30
  Misty Celli: You know exactly what 10 o'clock at night feels like.
• 2:32
  Misty Celli: You finally sit down, feel the weight of the whole day settle into your shoulders, and realize you've moved everyone else's life forward and never actually got to your own.
• 2:42
  Misty Celli: I've lived weeks like that, more of them than I can count.
• 2:45
  Misty Celli: So whatever you're carrying in from today, you can set it down for a minute.
• 2:49
  Misty Celli: You are in the right place.
• 2:51
  Misty Celli: Here's what I imagine that you've been telling yourself.
• 2:54
  Misty Celli: My day is just full.
• 2:56
  Misty Celli: That's this season of life.
• 2:58
  Misty Celli: It's busy.
• 2:59
  Misty Celli: But once mom is settled, once the wedding is over, once his work calms down, once the holidays pass, then I'll have room for me.
• 3:08
  Misty Celli: And you mean it every time.
• 3:10
  Misty Celli: But somewhere underneath, you've started to notice that one season keeps running straight into the next, and you are no longer sure when yours will actually get to start.
• 3:20
  Misty Celli: Sound about right?
• 3:22
  Misty Celli: So many of us believe our full busy days are just a season.
• 3:27
  Misty Celli: And I want to pause and look at the truth behind that belief.
• 3:30
  Misty Celli: My day is just full, and that's this season of life.
• 3:34
  Misty Celli: It makes sense that we'd believe it because seasons are real.
• 3:38
  Misty Celli: A parent's surgery is real.
• 3:40
  Misty Celli: A daughter's wedding is real.
• 3:42
  Misty Celli: A husband traveling three weeks out of the quarter is real.
• 3:46
  Misty Celli: You've carried every one of those seasons out of love and you've carried them well.
• 3:50
  Misty Celli: No one in your life would say you didn't show up and handle it all.
• 3:54
  Misty Celli: But if we pause, we can see what this belief has been costing you and what it will cost you in the end.
• 4:00
  Misty Celli: Today it costs you your turn.
• 4:03
  Misty Celli: Not one minute of your day will be just for you, the woman, not the role.
• 4:07
  Misty Celli: When you go to bed tonight, you'll feel like you did a lot, but you won't feel refueled or settled.
• 4:12
  Misty Celli: You'll go to bed wondering where the day went.
• 4:15
  Misty Celli: Underneath that, the cost is quieter.
• 4:18
  Misty Celli: When this season becomes the answer every time, you stop hoping for any time that includes you.
• 4:25
  Misty Celli: You stop looking for yourself on the calendar because you already know you won't be there.
• 4:29
  Misty Celli: Little by little, the woman with her own plans and rhythm fades into the background of her life.
• 4:34
  Misty Celli: Does that sound familiar?
• 4:36
  Misty Celli: And 10 years from now, if nothing changes, there will still be just a season.
• 4:41
  Misty Celli: There always is.
• 4:43
  Misty Celli: Your kids will be grown and gone.
• 4:44
  Misty Celli: Your parents will need more from you, and you will keep telling yourself that once the season is over and the calendar is clear, you will finally have your turn.
• 4:54
  Misty Celli: And when you look back over the decades that you spent in just a season, you'll feel that gut punch with tears wailing up in your eyes, and you'll immediately dismiss the pain with a pat on your own back for handling it all like an all-star.
• 5:08
  Misty Celli: You have won the MVP award every season for decades, and the future looks like one more season to win it again.
• 5:15
  Misty Celli: Let that land for a second.
• 5:18
  Misty Celli: But let's be honest, a real season is short.
• 5:21
  Misty Celli: It's a week of company, a few days of sickness, a trip, a wedding.
• 5:26
  Misty Celli: It has a beginning and an end.
• 5:27
  Misty Celli: When a season stretches into years, it quietly turns into a design.
• 5:31
  Misty Celli: It just isn't a design that you chose with full intention or awareness.
• 5:35
  Misty Celli: That's the part that people never talk about.
• 5:38
  Misty Celli: Every day has a design, whether you build it or not.
• 5:41
  Misty Celli: If you don't design yours, something else builds it for you.
• 5:45
  Misty Celli: Whatever feels most urgent, everyone else's needs, or the habits nobody's questioned.
• 5:50
  Misty Celli: Most full days aren't built on truth.
• 5:52
  Misty Celli: They're built on what I call the perceived fire rating.
• 5:56
  Misty Celli: You move toward whatever's burning hottest.
• 5:58
  Misty Celli: And when that's how your day gets designed, your name never makes the list.
• 6:03
  Misty Celli: That's why squeezing more in never works.
• 6:06
  Misty Celli: You can get as efficient as you want, but if everyone else is designing the day, efficiency just makes room for more of what they need.
• 6:14
  Misty Celli: The answer is two simple shifts.
• 6:16
  Misty Celli: The first is putting yourself into the design on purpose.
• 6:20
  Misty Celli: That means two me blocks, two pieces of time with your name on them placed in the day first instead of hoping for in the leftovers.
• 6:29
  Misty Celli: And the why behind those blocks matters as much as the time itself.
• 6:33
  Misty Celli: When you know why your me block matters, it can shrink, split in half, or change shape on a hard day and still refuel you.
• 6:41
  Misty Celli: The second is taking one thing out.
• 6:44
  Misty Celli: A drain is anything on your calendar with a weak why or a why that somebody else handed you.
• 6:50
  Misty Celli: A strong why stays.
• 6:52
  Misty Celli: A weak one gets looked at, adjusted, or let go.
• 6:55
  Misty Celli: A drain is personal.
• 6:57
  Misty Celli: For one woman, the hour at the grocery store is a drain.
• 7:00
  Misty Celli: For another, picking out her own fruit and vegetables is something she loves.
• 7:04
  Misty Celli: So the grocery run stays and something else goes.
• 7:07
  Misty Celli: What counts as a drain depends entirely on who you are.
• 7:10
  Misty Celli: That's why designing your utmost life has to come from your utmost self.
• 7:15
  Misty Celli: It starts with your identity and builds on your worth, not an internet search or a schedule copied from someone else's life.
• 7:21
  Misty Celli: You've loved, you've carried, you've shown up for every season, but here's the deal.
• 7:26
  Misty Celli: You were never supposed to stay off the calendar in all of them.
• 7:30
  Misty Celli: And both of these shifts start with knowing who you are, which is exactly where I'll point you at the end of this episode.
• 7:37
  Misty Celli: I want to tell you about two very different seasons in my life because this episode is about what lies between them.
• 7:43
  Misty Celli: Years ago, I worked with two kids in elementary school and my days were packed.
• 7:47
  Misty Celli: But here's the thing: I designed those days, I planned them and I put myself on the list.
• 7:52
  Misty Celli: The kids thrived, my husband thrived, the house ran smoothly, and I still got to work every morning.
• 7:57
  Misty Celli: It was a full life and I was in it.
• 8:00
  Misty Celli: But then life changed.
• 8:01
  Misty Celli: We moved from Montana to Houston and I was home full-time running the household.
• 8:05
  Misty Celli: Somewhere in there, without ever intentionally deciding to, I stopped putting myself on the list.
• 8:10
  Misty Celli: Everyone and everything else came first, and I stopped asking why I was doing most of what filled my days.
• 8:17
  Misty Celli: I stopped asking why I needed to be on the list.
• 8:20
  Misty Celli: Based on false beliefs, I assumed I was doing the right things.
• 8:24
  Misty Celli: Things got done because they were there.
• 8:26
  Misty Celli: I was 30 something, sitting at a red light somewhere between school drop-off and the household tasks.
• 8:32
  Misty Celli: I loved my family.
• 8:33
  Misty Celli: My days were occupied, what you might call busy.
• 8:36
  Misty Celli: And in that ordinary moment driving back home, I realized I couldn't tell you the last time I'd done something just because I wanted to.
• 8:43
  Misty Celli: Not something big, but a single small thing that was mine.
• 8:47
  Misty Celli: Something in me broke.
• 8:48
  Misty Celli: And inside that crack, if I'm honest, was a grief I'd never said out loud because my life was full and gratitude felt like the only acceptable answer.
• 8:58
  Misty Celli: What came after that red light was a season of reflection.
• 9:01
  Misty Celli: I started asking myself better questions and I got better answers.
• 9:05
  Misty Celli: Why showed up in almost every one of them.
• 9:08
  Misty Celli: I looked back at the calendar of what I'd been calling a season and I wasn't anywhere on it.
• 9:13
  Misty Celli: I saw myself fading over time through the season of busyness that bled into the next until I was no longer seen.
• 9:20
  Misty Celli: Then I watched myself live through every day and realized I wasn't really there either, and that I'd done it to myself.
• 9:27
  Misty Celli: I'd been letting myself shrink.
• 9:29
  Misty Celli: I'd been letting my days slide by, letting my own life fade in color while everyone around me stayed bright.
• 9:37
  Misty Celli: But I was still here.
• 9:38
  Misty Celli: I was still breathing with a soul full of dreams and real expectations for a life that I wanted.
• 9:44
  Misty Celli: I hadn't used up my life or my worth.
• 9:46
  Misty Celli: I just stopped designing for the woman living in it.
• 9:49
  Misty Celli: So I put myself back on the list and I started asking better questions about everything else.
• 9:54
  Misty Celli: Anything with a strong why stayed on the calendar.
• 9:57
  Misty Celli: Anything with a weak why or a reason somebody else handed me got looked at, adjusted, or let go.
• 10:02
  Misty Celli: We hired a yard company and it gave us back hours every weekend.
• 10:06
  Misty Celli: Groceries got scheduled for pickup.
• 10:09
  Misty Celli: None of that was about doing less for my family.
• 10:11
  Misty Celli: It was about making room for what matters most, including me.
• 10:15
  Misty Celli: Now, let me tell you what a real season looks like.
• 10:19
  Misty Celli: Not long ago, we had a stretch of about five months that turned everything upside down.
• 10:24
  Misty Celli: My husband had business trips, family came in from out of state, our daughter got married.
• 10:28
  Misty Celli: There was a few normal weeks sprinkled in between, but my plans and routines got interrupted, shifted, and sometimes forgotten.
• 10:35
  Misty Celli: Workouts got moved or canceled, meals weren't as healthy as we would have liked.
• 10:40
  Misty Celli: My journaling and meditation did not look the same on the road as they did at home.
• 10:44
  Misty Celli: The week before the wedding, my planned schedule went right out the window.
• 10:47
  Misty Celli: I had a long list of must-dos, a list of would like to do's, and a plan for who I was going to be that week.
• 10:54
  Misty Celli: Then family arrived earlier than we expected and stayed longer.
• 10:57
  Misty Celli: My identity blueprint is what helped me hold it together.
• 11:00
  Misty Celli: It started with three words that tell me who I am beyond my roles, and those three words are exactly where I'll point you at the end of this episode.
• 11:08
  Misty Celli: I went through the list and I handled what was truly on fire.
• 11:12
  Misty Celli: The things that would have been nice but weren't needed got moved, and the time I needed to refuel still came, just in ways I didn't expect.
• 11:20
  Misty Celli: That week was amazing.
• 11:22
  Misty Celli: The wedding was beautiful, and the time with family and the memories we made were right at the center of everything.
• 11:28
  Misty Celli: My days looked like nothing on my plan, and yet they still held me.
• 11:32
  Misty Celli: When those months were over, every event of that season had come and gone.
• 11:36
  Misty Celli: The why behind each one was met.
• 11:39
  Misty Celli: The how looked different than I'd pictured, but but the things that mattered most to me were taken care of.
• 11:45
  Misty Celli: And I was still in my own life the whole way through.
• 11:48
  Misty Celli: That's when I knew the difference and with absolute certainty.
• 11:52
  Misty Celli: A full week can be a season.
• 11:54
  Misty Celli: A full life is a design.
• 11:56
  Misty Celli: And the woman who knew what she needed hadn't gone anywhere during all those years when I left her off the calendar.
• 12:02
  Misty Celli: She'd been there the whole time.
• 12:03
  Misty Celli: She was just waiting for me to put her back on it.
• 12:06
  Misty Celli: Some seasons really are full, and designing your day doesn't make them go away.
• 12:10
  Misty Celli: A wedding is still a wedding, and parents' recovery is still recovery.
• 12:14
  Misty Celli: What design does is keep you inside the season instead of erasing you from it.
• 12:18
  Misty Celli: And a real season ends.
• 12:20
  Misty Celli: If yours isn't ending, that's your sign it has turned into a design.
• 12:24
  Misty Celli: A me block isn't one more thing to keep up with.
• 12:27
  Misty Celli: On a full day, it might be 20 minutes instead of an hour, or two short pieces instead of one long one.
• 12:33
  Misty Celli: When you know why it matters to you, it can bend with the day and still give you what you need.
• 12:38
  Misty Celli: Taking out a drain doesn't mean lowering your standards or letting anybody down.
• 12:42
  Misty Celli: The things with a strong why stay, and those are usually the ones that your family would care about most anyway.
• 12:47
  Misty Celli: What goes is whatever has been taking up room without a real reason, and letting something go doesn't have to cost a thing.
• 12:53
  Misty Celli: Sometimes you shorten it, sometimes you move it, and sometimes you simply stop.
• 12:57
  Misty Celli: If you've tried planners and schedules before and watched them fall apart, that history doesn't prove anything about you.
• 13:03
  Misty Celli: Those attempts started with a calendar.
• 13:05
  Misty Celli: A calendar without who you are underneath it is just a list of everyone else's needs and nicer handwriting.
• 13:11
  Misty Celli: This time you start with identity, and that's what makes the design hold.
• 13:16
  Misty Celli: A calendar built on who you are will hold in a way, a calendar built on urgency never will.
• 13:21
  Misty Celli: So why today and not next season?
• 13:23
  Misty Celli: Because there will always be a next season lined up behind this one.
• 13:27
  Misty Celli: If you wait for the calendar to clear, you'll be waiting for the rest of your life.
• 13:31
  Misty Celli: Today is the only day you can actually design.
• 13:35
  Misty Celli: Picture your Tuesday the way it usually goes.
• 13:37
  Misty Celli: The day starts without you.
• 13:38
  Misty Celli: You're answering, driving, fixing, and handling, and at 10 o'clock that night you sit down and can't find a single minute that was yours.
• 13:45
  Misty Celli: Now picture another Tuesday.
• 13:47
  Misty Celli: You wake up and already know where you are in this day because you put yourself there and you know it will hold.
• 13:52
  Misty Celli: Your first me block is right where you placed it, early before the house gets loud.
• 13:57
  Misty Celli: Maybe it's an hour with a book in the chair by the window, with your coffee still hot in your hands.
• 14:01
  Misty Celli: Maybe it's a walk with the sounds of the neighborhood just waking up.
• 14:04
  Misty Celli: Whatever it is, you chose it and you know exactly why it matters to you.
• 14:09
  Misty Celli: Mid-morning your phone buzzes and it's your mom with a change of plans.
• 14:12
  Misty Celli: The day shifts the way days do, but this time you don't feel the floor drop out from underneath you.
• 14:18
  Misty Celli: Your afternoon me block shrinks to 20 minutes and you take all 20 and you still walk away refilled because you know what that time is for.
• 14:25
  Misty Celli: And you notice the one thing that isn't there anymore.
• 14:28
  Misty Celli: The drain that you took off the calendar is gone, and in its place is a little breathing room you didn't have last week.
• 14:34
  Misty Celli: That evening, your husband asks about your day, and you don't hand him a list of what got done.
• 14:39
  Misty Celli: You tell him about the thing that made you laugh and the thought that you had on your walk because you were actually there for your day.
• 14:45
  Misty Celli: Your grown daughter calls and she can hear it in your voice.
• 14:48
  Misty Celli: She's watching a woman who loves her family and still lives inside her own life.
• 14:53
  Misty Celli: This is what it feels like to move to your own rhythm again, to have your own beat playing inside your soul all day instead of everybody else's tempo blasting on top of each other.
• 15:02
  Misty Celli: The more often you design yourself in, the less often you fade out.
• 15:06
  Misty Celli: One day you'll notice you haven't said, This is just the season I'm in in a long time.
• 15:11
  Misty Celli: You're allowed to want this whole day, not a smaller, safer version of it.
• 15:16
  Misty Celli: You don't have to earn your place on your own calendar.
• 15:19
  Misty Celli: Your utmost self already knows what she needs.
• 15:22
  Misty Celli: She's just been waiting for a day with room for her.
• 15:25
  Misty Celli: Can you feel the difference between those two Tuesdays?
• 15:28
  Misty Celli: You've believed your day is just full because of the season that you're in, but a real season is short, and when it lasts for years, it has turned into a design.
• 15:37
  Misty Celli: Dreaming, researching, and planning to squeeze in a little extra won't fix that.
• 15:41
  Misty Celli: Designing yourself back in will.
• 15:43
  Misty Celli: Every day you wait for the season to end before you show up for yourself is a day that you spend fading a little more.
• 15:49
  Misty Celli: Let me ask you a question.
• 15:50
  Misty Celli: The erased woman waits for the season to end so she can finally have a turn.
• 15:54
  Misty Celli: The utmost woman puts her name on the day and lives inside it, season or not.
• 15:59
  Misty Celli: Which woman is planning your day today?
• 16:01
  Misty Celli: Here's what your utmost self does.
• 16:03
  Misty Celli: Look at today's calendar and put your name on two blocks of time.
• 16:07
  Misty Celli: Then find one thing with a weak why and take it off.
• 16:10
  Misty Celli: Two me blocks and one drain today.
• 16:13
  Misty Celli: To design a day for the utmost woman you are, you need to know who she is in words, and that's your first step.
• 16:18
  Misty Celli: The identity starter kit gives you three words to recognize and reconnect with the woman beyond the rules.
• 16:24
  Misty Celli: It's free and it takes 15 minutes, and you are worth the time.
• 16:28
  Misty Celli: You'll use these words to follow through without self-sacrifice, make decisions without guilt, and show up as yourself every single day.
• 16:34
  Misty Celli: And you'll build the daily ritual that makes it stick.
• 16:37
  Misty Celli: This is phase one of three.
• 16:39
  Misty Celli: Discover, design, do.
• 16:41
  Misty Celli: Head to the link in the show notes or go to yourutmost.com forward slash starter today.
• 16:47
  Misty Celli: Now, sometime after you put your name on that calendar, you'll probably hear a voice telling you that there's no room for this right now, or that you're being selfish, or that you can do it once things calm down.
• 16:57
  Misty Celli: That voice is the identity eraser effect trying to write you back out of your own life.
• 17:02
  Misty Celli: You can answer it like this.
• 17:04
  Misty Celli: I am a woman who chose herself today, and I will choose her again tomorrow.
• 17:08
  Misty Celli: Say this with me.
• 17:10
  Misty Celli: This isn't just my season.
• 17:12
  Misty Celli: This is my life by design and I'm in it.
• 17:15
  Misty Celli: Write it down, say it out loud, then go live it.
• 17:19
  Misty Celli: If you saw your own calendar in this episode, would you leave a review?
• 17:22
  Misty Celli: It helps the next woman who's been waiting for her season to end realize she can start designing herself back into her life today.
• 17:29
  Misty Celli: And if you know a woman who's always saying that her plate is just full right now, send her this episode.
• 17:34
  Misty Celli: She isn't failing at her schedule.
• 17:36
  Misty Celli: She just hasn't put herself on the calendar yet.
• 17:38
  Misty Celli: Next week, we're talking about why a good day doesn't stay good on its own and why the women who stay connected to themselves have a rhythm that holds their days together, a few minutes to set the morning and a couple to close the night.
• 17:50
  Misty Celli: You'll find out why that rhythm matters more than any single good day, so you can stay connected to the woman beyond the rolls every single day.
• 17:57
  Misty Celli: If you haven't hit follow or subscribe yet, do it before you go so you're here for next week's episode.
• 18:03
  Misty Celli: Go put your name on today.
• 18:05
  Misty Celli: Until next week, remember you are more than everyone's everything.
• 18:09
  Misty Celli: You are someone, and you are worth living your utmost life as your utmost self.