Latest / The Hannah Hammond Show / Growing Up Poor Was The Best Thing That Happened To Me! What I Did to Make Millions | DJ Thielen

Transcript

Growing Up Poor Was The Best Thing That Happened To Me! What I Did to Make Millions | DJ Thielen · The Hannah Hammond Show

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I think growing up poor like was a huge blessing growing up, you
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know, single mom, no dad in the mix, ADHD, you know, had some
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abuse and different things. My mom, she would work during
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the day and then usually she and then she would bartend at night.
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So I saw that growing up like that was just familiar.
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People say, how do you learn how to work so hard?
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And I'm like, I don't know. But then I, I look back, I was
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like, Oh, it's because it was familiar.
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I saw my mom do it like in the 3rd grade, I wrote down on a
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piece of paper, it's this big. And I found it when, when our
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mom died in 2010. And it said, what do you want to
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be when you grow up? And I wrote down, I want to be a
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professional baseball player. My favorite players are Dave
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Parker released our jewel. They play for the Pittsburgh
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Pirates. And I was, I was in like shock
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because what I realized at that point was manifestation is real.
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Like I wrote this down one time in the 3rd grade and it like it
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didn't manifest exactly like I wrote it, but I got to play pro
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ball, right? And then I do a ton of business
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out of the Pittsburgh area, right, with real estate and
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stuff. So it didn't manifest exactly
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like I wrote it, but there were so many similarities and I and I
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thought, damn, I only wrote this one time in the third grade.
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So I'm here today with my friend DJ Thalen, and he is such an
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incredible person. You know, he's in the real
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estate industry now doing over 3500 transactions, over $350
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million in real estate deals throughout his past 20 years in
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the industry, right? Yeah.
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And you also used to play. You were the number six draft
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pick for the San Francisco Giants in baseball, not in New
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York Giants. A few years ago.
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Yeah, a few years ago. And yeah, so and you, you came
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from really, really humble beginnings.
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And so I'm really looking forward to hearing your story
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because I know you went through a lot of pretty massive
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challenges. And you know, you, you were
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raised by a single mom. You didn't have a strong father
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figure. Obviously you struggled with
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some things like I have like ADHD and difficulty learning in
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school or paying attention in school.
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And then you did go on to become like one of the best athletes of
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all time, right? Playing professional baseball.
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So I'm just really excited. And you also didn't come from
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money either, or you mentioned that you had very low income
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growing up and now you're, you know, very successful.
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And had some some mindset monsters I called.
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Right there I I can't wait to learn about him so but thank
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you. Thanks for flying.
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Out here. Thank you, my friend.
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Yeah, yeah, this is awesome. Cool.
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So tell me about your story, like take it all the way back to
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your earliest memory and what what was your life like and what
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pain were are you dealing with? And what was it like to be
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abandoned by your father at such an?
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Age, I mean, you know, I think Hannah, I think that so many
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times people, people don't want to go through hard times, right?
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But that's like when you're going through them, they suck,
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right? Or they can.
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I mean, now I look at it differently, but it's, it's like
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growing up, you know, as single mom, like you mentioned, right?
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Single mom, she was Italian, my biological dad was German, but
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we grew up around the Italian culture with my grandma and
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stuff and, you know, 9 uncles and and Uncle Rocky and all
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that, right? So, so we grew up around that
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culture, very loving, very, very friendly, like welcoming to
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everybody, you know. And so but yeah, I mean, growing
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up, you know, single mom, no dad in the mix, ADHD and, you know,
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had some abuse and different things.
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But I think that like for me, I can look back now, like a lot of
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people that listen to this and are going through that it, it,
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it's not fun, right? It's not a, a joyous time.
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And you can say, well, just change the way you look at it,
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right? And I do believe that if you
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change the way that you see things, the things you see will
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change 100%. Like that's one mindset hack
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that I use all the time. But I think that like so many
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people that are going through stuff just know, like this is
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what I tell my team, right? And my, my son and everyone, at
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some point, what you're going through is going to be fine.
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You're going to get past it. Maybe it's a week, maybe it's a
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day, maybe it's a year, maybe it's longer, maybe it's shorter.
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But at some point, that pain that that tough time, it's going
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to, you're going to get beyond it.
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You know, everything has a starting and the end, right?
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So I think that, but yeah, growing up, yeah, we didn't have
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a lot of money like you mentioned, right?
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Thank God for my grandparents. My mom didn't drive a car.
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My mom never drove a car her whole life.
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Imagine that like nowadays, right.
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So, and we were my brother and I were super active.
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My brother's two years older, Derek, so he's 55 and 53 and.
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But yeah, my mom, yeah, just just work 2-3 jobs, right.
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She would, she would work during the day and then usually she and
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then she would bartend at night. So then so I saw that growing up
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that I think like that was just familiar, right?
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Like people, people say, why do you, how do you learn how to
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work so hard? And I'm like, I don't know, like
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I don't. But then I, I look back, I was
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like, oh, it's because it was familiar.
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I saw my mom do it. Like that's all I knew, right?
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Like I got to go to work. I got to go and put in the time.
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So but yeah, growing up with those challenges, I mean, thank
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God, I was like super athletic and got drafted, like you
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mentioned in the sixth round by the San Francisco Giants in 91 a
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few years ago. And and So what is that now 30?
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I even know I wasn't good at math, but a long time ago.
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So, but got drafted and that was really, you know, that was
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really the, the beginning of a journey that I didn't think that
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I was going to go down right. Because you when you're young,
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like in the 3rd grade, I wrote down Kristen has it.
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I wrote down on a piece of paper.
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It's this big. And I found it when, when our
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mom died in 2010 and it said, what do you want to be when you
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grow up? And I wrote down it was in Miss
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Harris class that said, when I grew up, I want to I want to be
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a professional baseball player. My favorite players are Dave
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Parker, Willie Starr, Jewel that play for the Pittsburgh Pirates.
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So I find this piece of paper, right.
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I'm the best player in the minor leagues, right?
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Like, no, no, no belief problems, right?
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Which which is a big like part of success, right?
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You have to put the beliefs aside.
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But I looked at this Hannah and literally like my brother was
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there. Our mom's laying on the couch
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still gone right dead. And so and I and I'm looking for
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the I'm, I'm look, I find this and she had a drawer with his
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memorabilia in mind, like a baseball card stuff she kept.
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So I'm, I'm looking through this and I find this old sheet of
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paper. I'm like, what's that?
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And I pull it out and I couldn't even talk.
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Like they thought like I was having a stroke.
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They're like, dude, what's wrong?
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Are you, what happened? You know, and I was, I was in
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like shock because what I realized at that point was
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manifestation is real. That's what I realized.
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Like I wrote this down one time in the 3rd grade and it like it
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didn't manifest exactly like I wrote it, but I got to play pro
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ball, right? And then I do a ton of business
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out of the Pittsburgh area, right, with real estate and
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stuff. So it didn't manifest exactly
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like I wrote it. But there were so many
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similarities and I, and I thought, damn, I only wrote this
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one time in the 3rd grade. Like what if I started writing
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my, my vision down and what I wanted all the time and really
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giving it energy and really believing that like that's
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already done, right? How fast can I now attract
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things into my life? How fast can I create the life
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that I want, the things I want? And so that led me on a journey
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to really the a lot of the manifesting stuff, gratitude and
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things that we'll talk about. But yeah, that was like the kind
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of the beginning of the journey of understanding how strong our
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mind is and how the universe works and, and, you know, being
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a believer in God and all that, That's like my number one.
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But then also, you know, I think you have the spiritual, you have
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the physical. So you got to take care of your
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body, You got to take care of your spiritual side and
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relationship. And then you have to take care
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of your mental side, right. And mental, I kind of, I think
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energy and stuff like that is I, I put that in the mental side.
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And so, yeah, it's like you if you can, if you can figure out
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and, and I would say master, but just keep working on those and
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get better and better and better.
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Pretty soon you look up and you'll be so aligned and things
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start happening in your favor all the time.
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And you're like, Oh my gosh, like, how do you know what I
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mean? Like you were used to be like, I
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can't believe that happened for me.
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Now you're like, like expecting it, you know what I mean?
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So it's just, yeah, my mindset change.
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But yeah, I think that I think growing up poor like was a huge
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blessing, huge blessing. It taught me how to be creative.
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It taught me how to think out-of-the-box.
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I learned how to play video games at 10 years old.
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You know, the the old school video games with the with the,
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they have the corn return at the bottom, little plastic door.
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I know, you know, so yeah, yeah, yeah.
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They have like the plastic door you put the quarter in, if you
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hit it, there's a door. What?
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They don't have the plastic door on it, right?
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I'm going to get a lot of people in trouble.
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But if you don't have the plastic door, you can take a
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penny and there's a slot and you can flick it up in there and it
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will hit the same part as the quarter.
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So from an early age, I didn't realize this until I got older,
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I literally was wired to look at everything backwards like which
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was a massive blessing right in my life.
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So had I not grown up that way, I would have never learned how
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to do that or play video, you know, video games with straws.
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Like I learned how to do like all these things that were so
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out-of-the-box. So thank God that I had those
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things because it got me to be, I was, I've always been like an
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outside of the box thinker. And it's, you know, as an
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entrepreneur, like now, it's like, Oh my God, thank God, I
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went, I, I grew up that way because it serves me so well
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now, you know, but, but when you're going through it
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sometimes, like people don't realize when they're going
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through hard times, that those hard times down the road will
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probably be your big, one of your, one of your biggest, lead
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you to your biggest strengths and be so beneficial for you
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down the road. But you just can't like someone
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that doesn't have a dad, right? Like if you don't anybody I know
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they have a dad was just pissed off growing up.
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Like just anger it, you know what I mean?
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Like quick fuse, like me and, and so, but you know, but then
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as I got older and I started to understanding how to control
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that and, and right and all that.
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And it was, and it took a long time, you know what I mean, to,
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to shed the my mom would say, yeah, DJ, he's a loving kid, but
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he's got a quick fuse, right? And I'm like, thanks, Ma.
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You know, like, like kind of like not on purpose, but like,
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man, just speaking like kind of death, you know, on your, on
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your mind, right. So I think that happens to a lot
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of people is the parents don't understand these things and
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they, they speak these things on to on to the kids.
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And then the kids grow up believing like, Oh yeah, we
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like, hey, we can't, you know, many times I heard we can't
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afford that. So as I got older and I and I
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would hit these income ceilings and it was because I believe
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subconsciously I felt like I didn't, I couldn't afford it or
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didn't deserve it or whatever. You know, probably a lot of
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probably both of those, yeah. But yeah, yeah, that's some
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that's that's hopefully that helps a little.
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Yeah, and I, I, I love digging into the childhood and the story
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and all these things because I think, you know, so many of us
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have so much trauma from such a young age, whether it's severe
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trauma or whether it's smaller trauma, like not being seen,
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heard or protected by your parents, right?
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Something simple like that. And all a child wants is to be
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seen, heard, protected and have some level of like, freedom and
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identity. That's all anybody wants, right?
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And a child or adult. And so, you know, I think when
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we don't have, like, the prominent male figure is the
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most important figure that any child has in their life.
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And so when that is removed, which is very common,
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unfortunately, a lot of times we are raised thinking that we're
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unworthy, we're unloved, We're not, you know, not wanted, we're
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not good enough. We have to prove ourselves.
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And society in general reinforces positive, you know,
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we, we get positive reinforcement when we're a good
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boy or a good girl or we get good grades or we do better in
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sports or we don't complain, right?
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And so we learn to make ourselves small or overachievers
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or all these things. And then paired with the limited
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belief system of we can't afford it, we don't have money.
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Don't forget who you want, don't forget where you came from and
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those just really strong core beliefs that are ingrained from
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such a young age. It drives us to go one way or
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the other, right? And obviously you did you feel
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like you weren't worthy or you weren't loved or you had to
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prove yourself like as a child or like what was your?
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Yeah, you know, I, I, I like. Not that this was healthy and I,
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and you know, I know a lot of people talk about this.
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I, I don't know, long term, it's like taking something that's
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like, it's OK for you now, but long term it's going to like rip
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your liver apart or something, right?
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Like, I don't know if it's if it was good for me long term, but I
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just wanted like when I was young, I wanted like two things.
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I want to get to the big leagues, retire my mom and I
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want to prove and I want to, I want I don't, I basically want
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to show my dad like, like you, you screwed up, right?
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You know what I mean? Like it was almost to prove to
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him, you know, from the abandonment and all that to
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prove to him like, like, gotcha, you know, you should have, you
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should have been there. Now look what you're missing out
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on. And so I think like that's kind
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of where I operated from and I and I don't, and I really don't
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believe that long term that's healthy, right?
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Because then you get there, like let's say that you get there and
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then and I've talked to people that have even and and it's
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like, now what? Now I've proved it.
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Now, now, now how? Now what do I latch onto to keep
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me driven, to keep me like going forward, right?
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It's like I've I've got, I got there, right?
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So like, OK, yeah, I got you. But like, now what?
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Now what? Now?
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What's your anchor? You know, so I think, I think it
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it, I think you can use it for fuel for sure.
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Like I think like a lot of kids grow up poor inner city single
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mom, no dad. And they use that to fuel them.
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Like I'm going to, I'm going to show him or I'm going to like
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I'm going to, I'm just going to make it and take care of my mom.
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Like for me it was both and, and so, yeah, I think I use that.
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I think sometimes, you know, you, you said something, I heard
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a story of two brothers. You probably heard this or maybe
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you haven't. And one was super successful.
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They were sitting next to each other, right?
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And one was, you know, on drugs and strung out and, you know, on
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the living on the streets. And they asked them why did you,
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you know, what was it that allowed you to turn out like you
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turned out? And both of them said it was
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because of how my father was right.
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So I think that I think that you, you either got to be the
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victor or the victim. You can't be both.
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And I think people go through life blaming victim and they
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and, and you're in I, you know, you're in like a, like a rut,
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like you're in a track that you're, it's, it's like a train
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track. It's like hard to get out of,
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right? But I think that people need to
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understand that I, I truly believe gratitude, right?
17:08
I start my morning with prayer, gratitude, obviously swimming
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exercise, all that. But you, if you're not putting
17:17
good stuff in your mind on a consistent basis constantly, the
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it's we all default. We all have a default nobody,
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you know, people will say, Oh no, I'm, I'm sharp as iron and I
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don't think negative thoughts, man.
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I do like I have stuff come through me.
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I'm like, where'd that come from?
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Like that's kind of what I think of it now when it happens.
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I'm like, why would I believe that?
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Where did that come from? Right?
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That's not true. It's the monkey mind.
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It's the survival brain. Yes, yeah.
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And then I'm like, no, no, no, no, that's not true.
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So when you're, you know, the first step in transformation is
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awareness. So once people become aware that
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there's got to be humble enough and lose the ego.
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I think in especially with social media and all there's,
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there's so much, so many egos out there and everybody makes
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entrepreneurship especially look like it's way easier than it is,
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right. And then people get in and they
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get punched and they're like, damn, that hurt.
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I want to do that again, you know what I mean?
18:15
And so, so I can circle back to that.
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But yeah, I, I think that if people can realize like the a
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lot of times, the messes that people look at Oprah Winfrey,
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right? There's tons of stories, abuse,
18:31
raped, you know, I think by her uncle or something.
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And she went through all this stuff and had and became a
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billionaire, right? In fact, I think most, most of
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people that I know, we were talking about some of them like
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they've been through some crazy crap, like, you know, like
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crazy, like going to jail, like, like smoking crack, you know,
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like I'm like, Dang, man, like, like think I didn't have it that
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bad. Like I just didn't have my dad
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around, you know what I mean? Like I didn't smoke crack.
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But so I think that I think that there's like there's different
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levels, but a lot of times if you, if people choose to be the,
19:15
the victor, they can use that, that the the mess is the message
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when they, you know, to help, to help other people look at like
19:23
the online coaching space. It's huge right now because
19:27
people are using their mess and to basically help people fix
19:33
their prop. Like I'm going to you know what,
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what I needed to learn or needed to know when I was younger, Like
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I'm just going to create a signature program to show and
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teach people how to do what I did.
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But I had to go, you know, it took me 20 years, right?
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I'm going to show people how to do it in, in 90 days or
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whatever. So we call that collapsing
19:53
decades into days. And so, you know, that's
19:56
important. But yeah, I think you know, the
19:59
the challenges that I don't remember, I was just telling
20:03
this to and I think this will help a lot of people that are
20:08
watching this. When we I came to this
20:12
conclusion on my own. When we grow up and we're in
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school, what happens like when you were in school?
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Do you ever get an F? No straight A my whole life.
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I knew it. I know you're too smart.
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So yeah, I. I had no self worth I had
20:29
thought I had. That was the only place that I
20:31
felt worthy in over performing in school.
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Well, I did, yeah. So, so like I can speak from
20:38
experience, so. And yeah, I mean, listen, my mom
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was Italian, had the, had the freaking metal spoon.
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Like, I mean, my fingers are bent, probably broke my feet.
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I mean, she would go ham on us. Like, like, and this thing was
20:52
like, not metal, like steel, you know what I mean?
20:56
Yeah, she would, she would be, I mean, you know, now you, you say
21:00
a man, she would whip my butt, right.
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And we needed it for sure. I mean, I don't say we didn't
21:04
deserve it, but I, I say that to say when we were grown up, if
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you failed, if any, even today, if somebody fails in school when
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they're young, what happens? Massive trouble.
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They get punished, right? So these kids, even in school,
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they get suspended. They get, they got to stay after
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they got to go to detention, right?
21:28
Whatever. So there's some form of
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punishment, right? Like you said.
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So people grow up subconsciously and go, well, like they're
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scared to fail. They're so scared to fail that
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they will stay in a comfort zone and not try things because it's
21:46
safer there. Then man, if I fail, I'm going
21:49
to get in trouble. There's going to be pain
21:50
associated with that failure, right?
21:53
And so like for me, thank God I picked, I was blessed to play
21:58
baseball because you're failing 7 out of 10 times, right?
22:02
At least, I mean, some days more, some days less, some days
22:05
you're failing 100% of the time, like, right.
22:08
So like I had to, I, I was wired from an early age that I'm not
22:15
going to win all the time. Like it's and, and I'm going to
22:18
strike out. I'm going to, you know, like not
22:21
get a hit, whatever, right. But then I'm going to hit my
22:25
home runs, I'm going to hit the grand slams.
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I'm going to, you know, pitch a no hitter, whatever it is,
22:30
right? Like, and so like for me, I, I
22:35
didn't care about school. I just wasn't, I, I just wasn't
22:38
engaged. I just wanted to go out on
22:40
recess, to be honest. Like that's what I thought
22:42
about. And so and be with my boys.
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But but yeah, I think that so many people, I think that's
22:49
where the the fear comes from is childhood and that we were, we
22:55
were, we were punished when we failed.
22:57
And then as entrepreneurs, people.
22:59
So now somebody fails and they're like, Oh, I'm not going
23:03
to do that again, right, man, I bought AI, bought a piece of
23:06
real estate and oh, nothing, man.
23:08
I that's not for me. Oh shit.
23:10
I've everything I buy is out of state.
23:12
That's how I started. So I'm like, like if you buy a
23:16
property in it and something doesn't work out, like usually a
23:20
lot of times it's the people you dealt with.
23:23
It doesn't have anything to do with like something you did
23:26
right. You dealt, maybe dealt with the
23:27
wrong people. Usually that's what I found.
23:30
So, so it's just like, no, like real estate is good.
23:34
That deal is good. But so, you know, but people
23:38
quit, right? They throw in the towel.
23:40
They're like, oh, no, it's not for me.
23:43
Like that's out of my comfort zone.
23:44
That's out of my and it's like, Oh my God, if I had done that, I
23:48
bought 10 homes for 50 grand in 2005, a solar company.
23:53
That's how I got into real estate.
23:54
I fly out to Pennsylvania, first time I go to is torn down.
23:57
There's no home, right? Like it's gone.
24:00
I'm calling the guy freak and his numbers disconnect and I'm
24:02
freaking out. And because everyone was like,
24:05
you're an idiot, you're going to lose your money.
24:07
So guess what plays in here? Maybe they were right, right?
24:12
That whole that voice, maybe they were right, man, I don't
24:16
know. And then the athlete brain kicks
24:19
in and it's like, no, dude, you're good.
24:22
You'll figure it out. It's, it's fine.
24:24
It's, it's going to who cares? Like you failed, just keep
24:27
swinging, right? So, yeah, I think, I think
24:31
that's, I think that's why so many entrepreneurs get paralyzed
24:36
and they don't take risks and they don't take chances or they
24:39
quit at the first sign of resistance.
24:42
I just believe that firmly. What do you think?
24:45
Oh, I agree. I think one of the biggest
24:47
things, I mean, that sets a successful entrepreneur apart
24:51
from a non successful entrepreneur or just anybody is
24:55
being courageous enough to take action even though you're scared
24:59
shitless and it's OK to fail over and over again.
25:03
And I always just saying, like Dory from Finding Nemo, just
25:06
keep swimming. Just keep swimming.
25:08
Yeah. And that, you know, that's what
25:10
it is. And we are taught from a young
25:12
age that don't fail, don't make mistakes, do it this way, follow
25:15
the instructions, obey the rules.
25:18
And entrepreneurship is the opposite.
25:19
It's like create, fail, try things, innovate, test the
25:25
limits, question the way it's always been done and all of
25:28
those things. And it's you have to be OK with
25:32
it. And I think something like so
25:34
many entrepreneurs, they say 90% of entrepreneurs have some sort
25:39
of pretty severe trauma that's happened at some point in their
25:42
lives. And I think a lot of the, the
25:45
pursuit of excellence through entrepreneurship, business,
25:49
sports, any, any mass pursuit of excellence like that usually
25:54
stems from a desire for fulfillment, right?
25:58
There's something missing in US. Like there's that void inside of
26:02
us. And we want that.
26:04
And, and we think that when we pursue excellence and once we
26:08
obtain excellence, then we'll feel fulfilled.
26:11
And then we'll feel fulfilled and that'll continue to drive
26:13
excellence. But what I found was that the
26:17
pursuit of fulfillment and the pursuit of excellence are two
26:19
separate pursuits. And when I finally every time I
26:25
achieved excellence like I hit another goal or broke through a
26:28
ceiling or. I got a new a different car.
26:30
Right, like some sort of achievement that I hit.
26:34
It was that short brief period of joy and dopamine and
26:39
satisfaction, like a like a hit of a drug.
26:42
And then it was immediately followed by anxiety and fear.
26:44
And like, now what? Now I got to do bigger, now I
26:46
got to do more. And now I got to go do this
26:48
again. Like, what do I do next?
26:49
Right. And so when that habit, that
26:52
pattern continued to repeat, I realized, like, OK, excellence
26:55
isn't going to fulfill me. Like this is a separate pursuit.
26:59
And so then I started pursuing fulfillment, which took me down
27:02
the path of healing therapy, plant medicine fix, like
27:07
releasing the, the traumas from my father and my brothers and my
27:10
mother and all these different situations that we all have
27:13
inside of us. And that's where that anger
27:15
trigger comes from. Like when when you have traumas
27:18
in your body that are unhealed, your nervous system is it reacts
27:24
like when something even small happens, like somebody flips you
27:27
off on the freeway, you might freak out because your nervous
27:30
system is holding on to these unhealed trauma and all this
27:33
stuck energy inside of you. Like as you start to heal that
27:36
and release that, then my meditation coach said, like
27:41
when, you know, most of us, when we're doing things in our daily
27:45
lives, let's say someone flips you off on the freeway or, or
27:48
cuts you off or whatever, it's like drawing a line in a rock in
27:52
our nervous system. Like it's permanent inside of
27:54
our nervous system. And it, it's, it's very
27:59
triggering and it's, our body holds it.
28:00
It's like that rage inside of us, right?
28:03
Because we already have unhealed trauma.
28:04
We have all this thing that we never cleared.
28:06
But as you start to heal and you start to clear this stuff, then
28:09
it, it ultimately will then become like a line in sand where
28:14
it bothers you and effects you, but you're able to maybe
28:16
meditate or do whatever, go to therapy and clear it out.
28:19
And then it becomes like a line in water.
28:22
And then it eventually becomes a line in air where like nothing
28:26
in life can take you down and these things happen.
28:30
And let's say you're this is a stupid example, but let's say
28:34
your friends didn't invite you on a girls trip or a guys trip
28:37
that they all went on and they didn't invite you like to a non
28:41
emotionally intelligent, non healed, traumatized person that
28:46
might like really, really affect them and that might really
28:48
emotionally cause them anger, rage, screw them, right?
28:52
But someone who has healed and is emotionally intelligent and
28:56
is, has done the work, they'll be like, OK, like it's no big
29:01
deal. You know, it's not the end, It's
29:03
not a big deal. Like clearly I'm not investing
29:05
in those relationships. And clearly that I have other
29:08
relationships that are more important or whatever.
29:10
And there's no like resentment or rage or or ill will or pain
29:14
that's caused by. That.
29:16
So yeah, I think just being able to not be so attached to the
29:20
outcome, like OK, if I fail, I fail.
29:23
So what? Like, what's the worst thing
29:24
that's going to happen if I lose it all?
29:27
Am I going to, am I going to live?
29:29
You know? And I think people are so afraid
29:32
of failure when in reality, even the worst outcome that could
29:35
possibly happen, they're still going to be OK.
29:37
They're still going to make it. But that fear is so great, that
29:40
emotion is so intense, that they just can't take action.
29:46
Yeah, even even. I think some people too, are
29:50
even fearful of success. Yeah.
29:53
Like even the opposite, you know, like that wasn't me, but
29:58
and I think too, like, you know, that's why it's you know, we all
30:01
have mentors, right? I'm sure you do.
30:03
We have, you know, a bunch. Kristen, my fiance has a bunch,
30:07
so probably too many. But but her on her end, on her
30:13
end. But but no, but like, but it's
30:17
like, that's what like the ultimate hack is finding
30:22
somebody that I think when you find a mentor, you need to find
30:26
somebody that's done what you want to do that you're aligned
30:29
with that you like. It's not just find someone
30:32
that's done what you want to do and learn from them.
30:34
No, dude, you got to be you got to like them and you got to like
30:38
to be around them and you got to like their energy.
30:40
Like there's more to it that I found, at least for me, is it's
30:45
not just about because it's not about just the money.
30:47
It's the whole, it's the, the whole, the whole enchilada,
30:51
right? It's like, do they have a
30:53
successful relationship? How are they with kid?
30:55
How are they with people? Are they friendly?
30:57
Are they kind? Are they giving?
30:58
And so like, it's, it's more than just, hey, they were
31:02
successful in this, but maybe they're a shit show at home and
31:05
their marriage is falling apart and they're having an affair and
31:07
all these things like why would it?
31:08
Why would you want to learn from somebody like that, right?
31:10
They're going to you're going to get to that point financially
31:14
and then you're going to go, Oh damn, I sacrificed all these
31:18
things that were really the most important, right?
31:22
And now what right. And now it's like, and so I
31:26
think you realize like, damn, I, I climbed the wrong ladder, you
31:30
know, like a lot of people and and I've done that.
31:33
I've been like, I, you know, a grinder.
31:35
So like I have to like even with Kristen, I have to like learn
31:39
like, OK, mate, like I'll I'll turn my phone off or you know,
31:43
I'm I'm getting better at it. I'm not.
31:45
I'm still like a work in progress, right, But it's like
31:49
she told me for, you know, a cup I we need a date night where we
31:53
play. I want to play, I want to go
31:54
putt putt. I want to do something.
31:55
I'm like, OK, and finally I after, you know, her harping on
32:00
me a little bit, which I deserve, right.
32:03
But again, you said you at the nail on the head.
32:05
If I wasn't in a state, it'd be like, God, you know, what's this
32:11
person? You know, why are they coming at
32:12
me? Why would you know what I mean?
32:14
And you're the way the way that you're looking at situations
32:17
they're going. Yeah, you know what that that's
32:19
important to her, then that's something I need to work on and
32:22
get better at, right. And so, and not like this year.
32:25
I have, you know, we've we've done stuff.
32:27
But yeah, I think that I think what happens, Hannah, is a lot
32:31
of people, and I did this and I know a lot of people would do
32:34
this. We compartmentalize, we take the
32:38
pain and the trauma and the childhood stuff and we suppress
32:44
it and we put it in a, we put it in a, a treasure chest and we
32:50
throw locks around it and we throw that thing at the bottom
32:52
of the ocean and think it's just, it's not there, but it's
32:55
there. And then guess what comes out?
32:57
What happened to me in 2011 or 2012?
33:00
Driving my car down the road, black out right?
33:03
I thought I had a heart attack. I pulled over, my legs are numb.
33:06
I was like, what the heck ended up being panic attack.
33:10
So I had to deal with that, right?
33:11
Like how to like, why did this happen?
33:13
Because you're pressing down, you're taking on too much,
33:17
right? You're redlining like you're
33:18
just redlining. You're always on.
33:20
You're never shut down. You're not your sleeps
33:22
interrupted, you're not sleeping good, which is huge, right?
33:26
And all these things. And then it's like, oh, damn,
33:31
you know. And so my body was like, like
33:34
shutting down for me, like, OK, right.
33:37
And I think, and that was one of the, that was one of the best
33:39
things that ever happened to me. Like, it really was, but it
33:43
sucked like going through it, right?
33:45
Like, God, why? Like, Yeah.
33:47
And my, my doctor's like, dude, you need to, you need to like
33:52
take some time off. And I was like, no way, no,
33:55
there's no way. I can't right, like us
33:57
entrepreneurs, right? Like, dude, what do you mean
33:59
take time off? You, you know, no way.
34:01
Like you take time off, right? But then you start realizing
34:05
like, OK, I think, you know, it's and I don't think it's.
34:10
And then, oh, and then and then a Doctor Who's a a investor of
34:13
mine told me. He said, I, I said, how do you
34:16
deal with his name's Fred, awesome guy, Fred James and, and
34:21
doctor Fred and we still stay in touch.
34:23
And he said, I said, I called him renowned Dr. like like
34:26
surgeon. And I said, Hey, man, he's
34:30
retired said, you know, I'm dealing with this is what I got
34:32
going on. What would you recommend?
34:33
Like how do I, how, how can I not have stress in my life?
34:36
He goes, I'm going to tell you something.
34:38
You're always going to have stress.
34:41
It's how you, it's how you deal with it, right?
34:44
You just have to learn how to cope and how to deal with it.
34:46
That's the line in air. Yeah, that's exactly right.
34:50
So it was like, oh, no one ever told me that, right?
34:55
Why didn't, why didn't, why didn't my, why didn't my doctor
35:00
tell me that? Right.
35:01
Like, Oh yeah, you know, they just throw in the medication and
35:04
that's the, you know, that's the obviously.
35:06
And sometimes it's needed to get over that hump.
35:09
But, but I, I just think, yeah, I think, you know, those things
35:14
are like, yeah, you can, you can push it down, but at some point
35:19
that thing is going to come up and it's going to come up in a,
35:22
in an explosion, right? In a, in a, in some situation,
35:27
someone goes off the rails and blows up a cyber truck.
35:30
Look at all the crazy stuff that goes on, right?
35:32
Like not saying all of them have childhood trauma, but there's
35:35
probably a good chance, right, that there's some shit that was
35:39
not healed in these in these guys.
35:40
If you're going to blow yourself up.
35:42
So, so like I, I just think that so many entrepreneurs chase the,
35:48
the money, right? I did.
35:49
I want the big, the bigger house and, and another car and I had,
35:53
I had, I had four cars in Los Angeles.
35:56
I had some buddies that I had Aston Martin and we would take
35:59
them down a Malibu Canyon, right kind of run them.
36:03
And I was only one with an Aston, but everyone else had a
36:06
Ferrari. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to
36:08
get a Ferrari. I like 4 cars of mine and then
36:11
other car right that Mike's had. And it was like, what the heck?
36:14
And I went out and bought and got a red Ferrari, I swear to
36:16
God. And then I look back go what a
36:18
moron, you know what I mean? But like none of that stuff,
36:22
like you said, don't mean it. It's cool for a quick SEC and
36:25
then you're like, oh man, like that was stupid.
36:29
Why did I do that? Like literally a month later I'm
36:31
like, Oh my God, why did I do this?
36:33
Now I got this payment and like, I like my other car better and
36:36
you know what I mean? And like the stereo sucks and I
36:39
was just like, what the heck. But we think we chased the
36:43
bigger house and it's good to have those things trust like I,
36:45
I'm all about that. But I, I think that it's got to
36:50
be it. We got to start.
36:51
People got to start looking at the whole picture, right?
36:54
And talking about their health, there's their spiritual
36:58
relationship, their mental status, right?
37:02
How's their mental, how's their mental game?
37:05
You know, practicing gratitude, vitamins, nutrition, right?
37:09
All of these things you got to like, it's a, it's a whole
37:12
thing. It's not just if if you if
37:13
people just chase money and let their health go and their
37:17
mindset sucks and they're going to end up on cocaine binges and
37:22
freaking in jail like that. That's what happens to those
37:25
people. Like they just go.
37:26
They just they just go sideways. Yeah, you know.
37:30
Yeah. And I think when, you know, when
37:32
these these difficult things happen in our lives, it causes
37:36
us to disconnect from ourselves, right.
37:40
And so it's my therapist uses the example of like, have you
37:44
ever heard of a mother who was able to do some superhuman
37:46
things, like she has a, you know, broken legs where she's
37:48
able to run and grab her baby in a car?
37:50
Accident or lift a car or. Something right, like some crazy
37:53
things, right? And so like when that traumatic
37:55
event happens, like a car crash, you disconnect and you're able
38:00
to do all these other things like function in life or build a
38:03
big company or become a famous athlete or all these things.
38:06
But in order to heal, you have to reconnect to the pain.
38:12
You have to go back to that event.
38:14
You have to realize that you're hurt.
38:16
You have to realize that you need help.
38:18
And you have to like seek professional help from someone
38:20
whose attention is on you because we as children have to
38:26
give up our authenticity to be loved and taken care of by our
38:30
parents because we don't have an option.
38:32
We can't stand up for ourselves. We can't say, Oh no, this is who
38:36
I'm going to be like, right? As a child, we're helpless.
38:39
So we're like, OK, if I act this way, I get rewarded, I get
38:43
loved, I get praised, I get whatever.
38:45
And so we lose who we really are from such a young age that we
38:49
don't when we grow up, we don't even know who we are anymore.
38:52
We've just become, we've become this person that we got
38:55
continued to get rewarded to become.
38:57
And then we wonder why we're so disconnected and why we're such
39:01
addicts. Like we're all such addicts.
39:03
So everybody's on drugs of some, even if it's medic prescription
39:06
drugs, like almost everybody's on antidepressants, anti
39:09
anxiety, sleeping pills, caffeine, nicotine, weed, work,
39:15
money, sex, like everything. Everybody I know, especially in
39:21
the high performing entrepreneur space is an addict and they
39:25
don't even know we're an addict. And like that, that was the
39:28
realization I had. Joe Paul, she just met him a
39:30
few. Minutes ago.
39:30
Yeah, he's great. He's the one that made me
39:32
realize that I was an addict like when I joined Genius
39:35
network and he talks a lot about addiction cuz he used to be an
39:38
addict as well. And I was like, Oh my God, I
39:42
didn't even know that I'm just a functioning addict.
39:44
Like I'm addicted to success and I'm addicted to money and I'm
39:46
addicted to relationships and I'm addicted to, you know, these
39:50
things that the society might not perceive as a negative
39:53
addiction like food and all these things.
39:55
But in reality, if you strip everything away from me and you
39:59
just and I just lay down alone with no stimulation at this, at
40:05
the time I was miserable. I was anxious.
40:08
I grab your phone. I well, yeah, I couldn't be
40:11
there like just me and my thoughts.
40:13
Yeah. It was like, shoot me, right?
40:15
And I was like, I don't want to live like this.
40:17
I don't want to be chasing the next thing just to stimulate me
40:21
or give me another dopamine head or always like in this fight or
40:24
flight, this feeling of fear and scarcity and I need more and I
40:30
need like this, this will fulfill me.
40:32
And the easy thing for us to do is be like, OK, well, that felt
40:36
good for 10 minutes, so now I don't feel good again.
40:40
So the easy thing to do is just set a bigger goal and just go
40:43
for the next thing. But once I started to like step
40:46
back and realize I don't want to be all these people that I know
40:51
who are in their 50s, sixties, 70s, and they're all empty.
40:55
You know, they may have a billion dollars or $100 million
40:59
or 10, whatever the case may be, but they're empty or may maybe
41:02
they look. Great.
41:03
Right. Yeah, right.
41:04
They're not fulfilled. And they have that like that
41:06
fear, that anxiety or that unfulfillment or that desire for
41:10
more, right? And so that's kind of like that
41:14
different journey, like that pursuit of fulfillment versus
41:17
the pursuit of excellence. But then it's kind of I've been
41:19
an identity crisis for me DJ, because then it's like, well,
41:23
shit, now I'm I feel pretty good, Like I don't really have a
41:27
desire to go get more, you know, like I don't.
41:30
It doesn't that that drive for the excellence starts to just be
41:34
like, I don't really have it right.
41:37
Like I feel pretty good. I feel pretty content.
41:39
Like I'm happy. I like to work out.
41:41
I like to journal, I like to podcast, I like to do my things.
41:44
And I don't need to be a billionaire anymore.
41:46
But you know, six months, maybe a year ago, I was like, oh, I'm
41:49
going to be a billionaire because I was just like grabbing
41:52
on to that next thing. Yeah, Yeah.
41:55
Oh, yeah. That's good.
41:57
That's true. Oh yeah.
41:59
I mean, and I think, wow, that's good.
42:04
Yeah, I I've, I've, I mean, it's kind of like, you know, you, you
42:10
hit something like identity crisis, right?
42:12
Like IA lot of guys, I went through it like so many
42:16
athletes, right? You look at the suicide rate
42:20
after they leave the game and whatever sport they're playing,
42:22
women, men, whatever, it's really high.
42:24
A lot of people don't know this because all you were like that
42:29
was your identity and now you were like like, like for me,
42:33
right? I was kind of like this top
42:35
prospect, kind of can't miss kid, right kind of thing and and
42:40
like pull a different path, right.
42:42
And so then when I left the game unplanned, but to raise my son
42:46
and all that, yeah, I didn't want to go around my friends.
42:50
I didn't want to go back to my own college and see my own
42:52
coach. I didn't want to be around
42:53
anybody because all he wanted to ask me was what happened?
42:57
What happened, man, you should go back.
42:59
No, you know what I mean? And it's it was like I was
43:02
stuck. I was like in this like, because
43:05
that was that was all I knew was baseball, like forever, right?
43:09
My whole life until 25 or whatever, right.
43:14
And so like for, for, you know, from the time I started playing
43:18
20 years of my life, like that was my identity was like, I'm a
43:21
baseball player, like that was it, right?
43:24
And then and then that now you're, you're, you're, you're
43:28
like you, you, you're lost. So I think that the same thing
43:31
happens, right, when people chase the if it's only about the
43:34
money or if it's only about the success or hey, let me get a
43:40
bigger house or bigger car, right?
43:42
And we know a lot of mutual people, I will mention them on
43:44
here that have done that only to have their marriage blow up,
43:50
only to have like, you know, affairs to have like, you know,
43:54
drugs, right? And maybe and maybe suicide, you
43:58
know, or even in jail, right? Like just went down a bad path.
44:03
Remember, I think sometimes people that don't fix that they,
44:08
they literally create more pain because they're used to it.
44:13
It's familiar, right? Like I, I talked to Ryan Steuman
44:16
once and he, he's great. And Ryan said to me, dude, I
44:20
would dig. I would be so far done down
44:23
digging. And I'm like at the bottom,
44:25
everyone's like, dude, he can't go any lower.
44:27
I'm like, no, I can go lower. You know what I mean?
44:29
Like like digging. And it's like, that's what
44:32
that's what we do, right? It's like until that, until that
44:36
that trauma get fit. I, I love, we're talking about
44:40
this because everyone always wants to just only talk about
44:43
real estate and I'm like, oh God, like, you know what I mean?
44:46
Yeah, we were talking about that.
44:48
This is what this. Is what?
44:50
Yeah, like you, you can't control a lot of external
44:53
things, but you can control a lot of internal things.
44:57
I control what I believe and what I don't believe.
44:59
I can control my actions. I can control my habits, I can
45:04
control my routine. I can control who I want to be
45:08
friends with, who I want around me.
45:09
Right. Like there we have so much
45:12
control over over our lives that I don't, I think people, well,
45:18
I'm just going to leave it to God and trust me.
45:20
I'm I love Jesus. I'm, I'm like, I'm that's first
45:24
in my life. But like there's, you know, you
45:28
have the spiritual side and you have the mental side.
45:31
You got to sharpen both axes, right?
45:33
You can't just have like, I'm just going to, you know, and
45:36
whatever happens, happens. Well, I mean, you still have to
45:40
do the work, right? You still have to take action
45:42
and, and you have to have faith and take that risk and go, hey
45:47
man, I'm going to, I'm going to go for this.
45:49
And like, if it's not meant to be like, if it doesn't work, I'm
45:53
good with that. But like, I just, I just think
45:57
like so many people, it's, it's, it's a world of self sabotage,
46:01
self sabotage, limiting beliefs, lids on the on the thinking
46:05
right. And all of these things until
46:08
people go, OK, how do I how do I I I watched, I watched.
46:16
I just told Greg this, this is great.
46:18
This is good. I I watched a end my life when
46:21
he asked me in 2021 when my divorce was finalized, we were
46:25
together 18 years. What was it that that that what
46:31
you know, that got me to take that jump, load up A2 seater
46:35
Mercedes and everything else went into storage and I moved
46:38
across the country with what I could fit in a two in a little
46:41
convertible, right. I know why I didn't keep one of
46:44
my other cars, but whatever, that's another story.
46:47
But it's like, wow, man, like I I thought like leaving ball to
46:52
raise my son was difficult. That was like crazy.
46:57
Like I didn't realize. It's like jumping off a Cliff in
46:59
the in the dark thinking the water's 10 feet and you're
47:03
falling and you're falling, you're falling.
47:04
You're like, oh, shit, like this is like harder than I thought,
47:07
right. But if you want a different
47:10
life, like you can't keep doing the same thing, expect a
47:13
different result. And some people need to burn the
47:16
damn boat. And just that's the sometimes
47:19
that's the only solution. It is it easy?
47:22
No, if it was easy, everyone would do it.
47:24
But sometimes not saying every time, but sometimes certain
47:28
things, if they're not healthy for you, dude, you need to burn
47:32
the boat. And like there's no I'm I'm
47:35
storming and taking the island or I'm going to die, but I ain't
47:39
I can't I ain't going back. Like you just don't give
47:41
yourself another option, right? I think I think more people just
47:46
need to burn the boat. I do it.
47:48
It's not easy, but the only like now I look back.
47:51
I met my soul mate, right, who you know, Kristen love you,
47:55
honey. I met Kristen.
47:57
I, you know, met a lot of great friends, you know, and just and,
48:02
you know, have a great extended family with her family.
48:05
And it's just like, like that would have never happened had I
48:09
not cut this off and cut off the old in order so the I could have
48:15
the new. Because you can't straddle the
48:16
fence, you can't play, you can't do both right.
48:19
So yeah, I just, I think more people just need to just burn
48:24
the boat. Yeah, I, I live.
48:26
I used to be. It was so difficult for me to
48:30
make decisions. I like, especially in
48:32
relationships, because of the fear and because you don't know
48:37
what you don't know, you don't know what's on the other side.
48:39
You like I was like, who's going to love me?
48:41
Who's going to be there for me? Who's going to take care of me?
48:43
Like I've always been alone, like all these limiting beliefs,
48:46
right? And all this fear.
48:47
But I hired a my first coach mentor type person and he's just
48:54
like, if it's not a hell yes, it's a hard no.
48:57
Done any decision in your life. If it's not a hell yes, it's a
49:02
hard no. And I started living by that
49:05
moving forward. Who was that, if you don't mind
49:06
me? Asking William Poet.
49:08
OK. William Poet, he teaches
49:10
energetic intelligence and he's the one that started to open up
49:14
my whole mind to energy and protecting your energy and being
49:18
in tune with what you do on a daily basis or who you're around
49:22
or what work you're doing or whatever that energizes you and
49:26
makes you expansive or. Or takes it away.
49:28
Takes it away and that's how I knew I was like, OK, I was
49:32
engaged at the time. I've been engaged.
49:34
I say 2 1/2 times, but there's a whole story to that.
49:39
We'll go with it. We'll go with.
49:40
It yeah, 2 1/2 Beyoncé's right. And it's the same thing.
49:43
It's like the embarrassment, the shame, the fear, the destroying,
49:48
burning the boat, everything I've built, like ending the
49:51
businesses we've built together, going back to a, a life that I
49:56
didn't know without this person. And you know, it was just, I was
49:59
so afraid. But when I heard that line, if
50:01
it's not a hell yes, it's a hard no.
50:04
And I knew right in my gut I was like, it's not a hell yes.
50:08
And I left my fiance. And, and when you and when you
50:11
when you do that and you burn the boat and you do it once,
50:16
guess what happens the next time?
50:17
It's easier, right? Right.
50:19
And now you trust yourself, you gain confidence, you gain
50:22
clarity. And now it's like you have
50:24
another decision. It's like, oh, well, I made this
50:27
hard decision. Like I'm yeah, this is going to
50:29
work out, right? And that's kind of I, but so
50:32
many people, I mean, it's crazy at your age how intelligent and
50:36
how, how you went to really dive into work on the mindset.
50:40
Like I, I, I think until somebody's 30, I think that's
50:45
like the number one thing they should focus on is, is, is
50:48
healing trauma, working on their mindset, their energy,
50:51
practicing gratitude and really just, you know, really working
50:56
on them, right? Because if you can, if you can
50:59
get that done, But if you do everything else and and chase
51:03
the money and build it, but you don't have that, it was it's
51:07
like building a house on on. Saying yeah.
51:11
It's going to collapse right at some.
51:13
So but if you work on that first, but that's so hard to
51:16
teach to tell young kids because they're seeing 22 year olds on
51:19
on IG driving Lambos, right? So it's kind of like, yeah,
51:24
that's, that's they want that. So, so they go out and chase
51:28
that, but then they don't work on this and they don't work on
51:31
this, and then they get it and then eventually down the road,
51:35
at some point, they're just chasing empty, empty dreams.
51:40
Right. And you know, all we ever have
51:42
is this moment right now, like there's no past, there's no
51:45
future. All we ever have is right now,
51:47
right? And so if we can create a world
51:52
where right now feels good and not just like a dopamine hit
51:56
pleasure good, but like the things we're doing right now, we
52:00
know is not going to harm us in the future either.
52:04
It's going to it makes us feel good.
52:05
Like whether it's the relationship that we're in, you
52:07
know, if we're constantly feeling bad in the now with the
52:10
partner that we're in, we have to leave that partner.
52:13
Or if we're constantly feeling bad in the now with the business
52:16
that we're in that we think we need to be in because our
52:18
parents told us to or because it's the best money or whatever,
52:22
or the job that someone told us to be in that we never feel good
52:25
in. And like poet would teach me 90%
52:30
of your now you should feel good.
52:33
You know 10% of your life's going to suck because there's
52:36
death, there's loss, there's pain, there's all these things,
52:39
right? But if you get a 90%, that's an
52:41
A in life. And if you know that 90% of my
52:44
days of my moments of my life and my now are good, like that's
52:48
the best life I could live. It doesn't matter what all the
52:50
other stuff is, whether I made this much or I looked this good
52:54
or whatever. It's like if you can feel good
52:56
90% of the time, then that is a really, really good life.
53:01
And it makes the decisions so much easier because it's like no
53:04
matter how scary leaving your comfort zone is or leaving
53:11
whatever situation you're in is, if it's not a hell yes for you
53:16
and you are not feeling good 90% of the time.
53:19
It's a hard no. It's a hard no.
53:21
And there's a better, there's something better for you out
53:23
there. And I know like once I've
53:25
started, I remember that feeling of that, that immense fear, like
53:29
I'm gonna die if I leave the situation.
53:31
Like I am so afraid. But I'm in so much pain being
53:35
here. Like the only thing harder than
53:36
leaving is staying right then. But looking back, I'm like, Oh
53:40
my God, thank God that I left. I can't imagine if I hadn't like
53:43
now I have an amazing partner and I have an amazing life and
53:46
an amazing business and I feel good truly 90% of the time.
53:50
I would say I'm probably closer to like 95.
53:53
But yeah. And it's just just getting over
53:56
that fear and taking like having faith in if it's not a hell yes,
54:00
it's a hard no. And it's not like giving up the
54:02
first sign of difficulty. But it when you try and try and
54:06
put the effort in and, you know, try to make the business work as
54:10
much as you possibly can, try to make the relationship worth work
54:13
as much as you possibly can. But at some point, Insanity is
54:16
doing the same thing over and over, expecting different
54:18
results. Love is patient, love is kind,
54:21
is slow to anger, doesn't keep record of right and wrong.
54:24
All those the you know, the biblical definition of love.
54:29
When I when my brother told me this, he's like, dude, you
54:32
weren't in love. That's not what you had was not
54:35
love. You might say I love you, but
54:37
that was it. And I was like, Oh my God, it's
54:40
right in front of me, right? So if we can, if we can look at
54:44
that and say, this is what, you know, for believers, right?
54:47
This is what the Bible says love is.
54:48
If it's not, if it's the opposite of this, I need to get
54:51
out like that's that, like it's not.
54:54
Believers are not believers. That's what love is.
54:56
Yeah, yeah. And well, true.
54:58
Yeah, Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
55:00
So I think, I think that and then the energy audit, right.
55:03
I learned this from Trevor Mock. My buddy is taking your write
55:07
down all the things you do and then on the left hand side, draw
55:11
a line down the middle and on the right and then you start
55:15
moving things over. That's still your energy.
55:18
Because a lot of times entrepreneurs and business
55:20
people, we do things to make money, but we freaking hate
55:23
doing it right. So either.
55:25
So I always tell people you got to find what you, you got to
55:29
find something you love and what you have to do until you can do
55:32
what you love to do every day like you just do, even if you
55:36
don't like it, you have to find something that you love in it.
55:40
And because that's a mindset, right?
55:43
And now you're training your mind like I'm always looking for
55:46
the good and anything that I do. So I think I always tell people
55:50
that, but it is, it's an energy audit.
55:52
We get stuck as we're growing a business or whatever, doing
55:55
things that don't fire us up. Like for me, I know what fires
55:59
me up. It's it's helping my team be
56:02
better. Like I used to think it was
56:04
other things. It's helped my team be better
56:05
people, right? And closing deals.
56:11
It's cool helping people, coaching and mentoring them.
56:14
That's that's my fire. Like that's what that's my jam.
56:18
Like call me, I'll help you close it, right?
56:20
Kind of thing. Like that's where that that
56:23
fills me, right? So I think is as you especially
56:27
entrepreneurs, you got to understand that, yeah, you have
56:30
to do certain things that you don't want to do when you're
56:32
first starting especially. But as you, as you get, as you
56:36
get, as you're growing a business, you've got to start
56:39
looking at, hey, what are the things that that one I'm really
56:43
good at, but you might be really good at something, but hate to
56:46
do it. Well, probably shouldn't do it.
56:50
Right. That's like the buy back your
56:51
time by Dan Martel and doing the audit.
56:53
Yeah. And as you grow and scale, you
56:56
start to hire out the things that you're either not good at
56:59
or that you don't like and you start to scale.
57:02
And then eventually you're just doing what you're really good at
57:05
and you love to do. And then you have a team because
57:08
what what you're not good at or you don't like to do, other
57:10
people are good at and do like to do.
57:12
So like that's their unique gift.
57:14
And you start to delegate and and buy back your time from
57:17
hiring and and building a. Team people think well you know
57:20
they're stuck right my mind monsters well if I got it you
57:23
know I've heard well if it's got to be done right I got to do it.
57:27
I used to think that like oh if I got it no dude dummy record a
57:32
video DJ and like save the video on how to do it and then
57:39
eventually teach somebody how to do it.
57:42
The biggest mistake that I made, Hannah, is I would tell every
57:46
entrepreneur watching this, when you're building a company, even
57:49
if you're solo initially record every freaking thing that you're
57:53
doing from a training standpoint.
57:55
When you have sales calls or training calls with your team,
57:58
record all of them and create SOP's out of those and things,
58:02
right? But create a video library.
58:04
Now when you grow your team, you already have like they can go on
58:07
and watch the video training instead of you constantly
58:10
training people, right? I didn't do that until recently.
58:12
And now AI can help you build all those things.
58:16
God. Yeah, you can have an AI clone
58:19
now. Joe has one.
58:21
You can ask him anything, and it has everything Joe's ever said
58:23
in his entire life. You could ask his clone.
58:26
It's amazing. But I know we have to wrap up
58:29
here soon, but I want to ask some of these questions that are
58:33
just kind of tactical for people.
58:35
So do you have a daily mindset, practice or routine that helps
58:38
you always stay on top of your game and like get over any
58:40
obstacles that come your way? Yeah, from a Oh yeah, from well,
58:45
when I, when I have my routine in the morning, right, the the
58:48
praying, the meditating, the gratitude, the swim, having my
58:51
coffee like, and in doing my manifesting, that sets me in
58:57
like a happy vortex, right. So that kind of creates my like
59:00
a Ramix that creates my vortex around me like a like the
59:03
tornado that OK, I'm good. And then and then now I just try
59:07
to carry that as as far as I can through the day.
59:11
And when something hits me because it it does every day,
59:16
knowing one that, hey, it's OK, like I've got a great team and
59:20
this and it and at some point this is going to be fine and
59:23
it's all going to work out. So I'm not going to sweat it,
59:26
right? I'm not going to get super
59:27
worked up on it, right. So I think I think knowing like
59:31
for me that the hack is knowing that it's it's all going to work
59:36
out at some point. It doesn't matter.
59:37
A tenant didn't pay you're you have to evict someone, someone
59:40
tells your you know, on your team member, you know, screw
59:42
yourself, you're going to have to evict me.
59:43
I'll see you in court, whatever it is, right.
59:46
Like it's like, OK, at some point, dude, it might be a
59:49
month, it might be two months, it might they're going to be
59:51
they're going to be out. We're going to have the place
59:53
fixed and it's going to be re rented to the right person.
59:55
So like just go through the process.
59:57
So I think knowing like when you run into obstacles, that's where
1:00:03
having. The right mindset, so people
1:00:05
people want to like professionals practice more than
1:00:10
they play, right? And most people go on and all
1:00:14
they do is play, but they're not practicing.
1:00:16
So they're not prepared for when those things come up.
1:00:19
But if you're prepared when those things come up, now you
1:00:24
now you're prepared now it's they're easier to handle, right?
1:00:27
So I think being prepared for unforeseen and knowing in
1:00:31
advance, like, hey, if something comes up, I'm just gonna deal
1:00:34
with it. I'm gonna stay positive.
1:00:35
I'm gonna do my best not to get worked up or get pissed off or
1:00:38
whatever, and I'm just gonna deal with it, right?
1:00:40
I had to deal with that last week.
1:00:41
My son missed his flight. I was like, wow DJ, stay calm.
1:00:46
Stay calm. You know what I mean?
1:00:48
Like and you just want to go, dude, that's the that's right,
1:00:53
What the hell, right, like what the hell?
1:00:55
But then it's like, no, just just chill.
1:00:58
It's cool and, and literally within 10 minutes, I was like
1:01:02
completely over the whole thing, like like I didn't have the, I
1:01:05
wasn't holding on to the motion. I was enjoying time with my
1:01:09
assistant and people that I was with.
1:01:10
And it was, it was, it was great.
1:01:12
You know, so I think I think that what if, if you can work
1:01:16
on, I call it in baseball, we call it leading the bat at bat,
1:01:20
the bat at bat, it's a bat at bat.
1:01:23
I got to detach no and no, I have two or three or four other
1:01:26
at bats and I have to go play in the field.
1:01:29
So I can't take this in the field because then I'm going to
1:01:31
Jack the right. I'm going to make an error right
1:01:33
or whatever. So everything compounds right.
1:01:37
So the good compounds, especially with people that,
1:01:42
that are it, well, in sports, you see it a lot, but it happens
1:01:46
in business when good, when things are going good, the good
1:01:49
stuff's compounding. When things are going bad, the
1:01:51
bad stuff's compounding. So you got to be able to reset
1:01:54
quickly and, and take that deep breath and have something that
1:01:58
you do that resets you so you can, you can get back to that
1:02:03
vortex, right? And, and now you have the the
1:02:07
mindset and the space and energy to attract the things you want
1:02:10
instead of the things you don't want, you know?
1:02:13
That's so good. And when you're in a state of
1:02:15
flow, I love like the morning routine and just anything in
1:02:17
life, right? It's when things knock, when
1:02:20
you're in a state of flow, like an athlete hitting every ball,
1:02:24
right, where you just keep hitting, you keep having the
1:02:26
outcome that you want, then you're five times more
1:02:28
productive. So you can work less and you can
1:02:30
do a lot less time and still be more productive.
1:02:33
And so it's important to have your employees try to be in a
1:02:36
state of flow too. So I have that same morning
1:02:38
routine, like I get by myself, so peak performance and in the
1:02:41
best state I could possibly so I can perform the best in my work
1:02:45
and have the best life possible. And when something knocks you
1:02:49
out of flow, that ability to recognize like, OK, that was a
1:02:53
trigger. My son was his flight.
1:02:54
I'm feeling these, you know, this, this, these emotions.
1:02:57
How quickly can you get back into a state of flow?
1:03:00
So it doesn't knock you off your.
1:03:02
Yep, that's it. Yeah.
1:03:04
So that's it. And then what is?
1:03:09
If you could give advice to your 20 year old self, what would it
1:03:13
be? Stop chasing women.
1:03:17
Yeah. That would probably be the
1:03:19
number one thing. Like, dude, dude, they're gonna
1:03:21
be there. Trust.
1:03:22
Me. You were quick to answer that
1:03:23
one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:03:24
That was that was my Achilles heel.
1:03:27
Probably every man, right? That's the honest answer.
1:03:31
But no, I think, I think I would.
1:03:34
I would tell my younger self, one, everything's gonna work out
1:03:41
right? 2 is that you, you know the, the
1:03:48
thing I talked about earlier that you have so much more
1:03:51
control over your circumstances then you then you even realize,
1:03:55
right? So DJI want you to understand
1:03:58
that you can control what you believe.
1:04:01
You can control your energy, you can control your routine, you
1:04:05
can control the effort that you put in everyday.
1:04:08
You can control all of these things.
1:04:11
So instead of like focus on the controllables, right?
1:04:15
So many times we, we give energy and, and, and focus on the
1:04:18
things we can't control. But if people could realize the
1:04:22
things I can control, I'm going to just focus on giving as much
1:04:25
energy as I can to those. And the things I can't control,
1:04:29
I'm going to let them kind of just kind of run off my back the
1:04:31
best I can because I can't, I can't control it.
1:04:34
So getting sideways on it and giving it a bunch of energy and
1:04:38
frustration and all that. Why can't it?
1:04:40
It's I can't control it anyway, right.
1:04:42
So I think like really, if I told my younger self like it's
1:04:47
going to be good, you're going to have a great life and
1:04:50
everything's going to work out. And then and then 2 is, well,
1:04:57
one is stop chasing women, right?
1:04:59
But but, but you know, yeah, just control the controllables
1:05:04
and the things that you can't control, just let them go.
1:05:09
And and you know, I think like that to me, that would have
1:05:13
served me the best as an entrepreneur.
1:05:16
And so that's why I say that because people give so much
1:05:20
energy to like, you know, I need more leads and the leads sucker.
1:05:25
I don't know what whatever, you know, like in real estate,
1:05:27
right? And it's like, it's like, you
1:05:30
know, and also I would tell my younger self, dude, you need
1:05:36
this. Actually, this is probably the
1:05:38
number one thing I would have told my younger self, you ready?
1:05:41
I would say whatever you want to do in life, you need to believe
1:05:49
at such an insane level that people think that your swagger
1:05:55
is like a little arrogant, right?
1:05:58
Like, like, dude, you have to believe you're so much better
1:06:01
than you are at whatever you do. And if you do that, if you only
1:06:06
do that and that's all you do, you're going to have a great
1:06:10
life, you know, So I think, I think that, you know, the, the
1:06:15
belief is, is it's, it's where everything stems from.
1:06:18
You believe you can, you believe you can't, You're right.
1:06:21
So I think, I think the, the belief is, is probably the
1:06:25
biggest thing. And that would have helped me
1:06:27
when I was young and I wouldn't have had the high highs and low
1:06:30
lows. I would have been able to go no,
1:06:32
man, I'm good, I'm great. Like I'm going to I'm going to
1:06:35
be in the Major League. I never saw myself in the major
1:06:37
leagues. I had a tough time seeing myself
1:06:40
and as I started playing pro ball and I don't know why I
1:06:43
don't know why, right, some self sabotage, whatever.
1:06:47
I don't talk about it much, but like that's one thing I would
1:06:50
have said no, dude, like dude, do you know I had to do coaches?
1:06:53
Do you know how good you are, dude?
1:06:55
Like you're, you're like, you're better than Matt Williams at his
1:06:59
age, who was a Giants third baseman All Star of a year,
1:07:02
leading league in home runs RB. Like, dude, you're better than
1:07:04
Matt Williams when he was 20 years old.
1:07:06
Do you realize that? And I was like, no, but it
1:07:09
didn't hit me, you know what I mean?
1:07:11
Didn't hit me. So I think, yeah, I think the
1:07:15
the belief is like you just you've got to find that dig down
1:07:22
and you just got to start. People say, well, how do you do
1:07:26
it? Well, you just do it.
1:07:27
Yeah, I mean, right, so. Yeah, that's what I just posted
1:07:31
on my story a couple days ago is almost every successful person
1:07:34
in the world had, has, or had a delusional belief in themself
1:07:39
it. Yeah, that's it.
1:07:42
Yeah, that's it. Well, thank you.
1:07:44
I appreciate you being here. And.
1:07:46
Excited to get to know you more and share this podcast?
1:07:49
Yeah, yeah. Thank you.