Latest / Zone2Speak Podcast / From Anorexia to the Finish Line: Leona Kringe’s Story of Healing and Endurance

Transcript

From Anorexia to the Finish Line: Leona Kringe’s Story of Healing and Endurance · Zone2Speak Podcast

0:00
I always was a really like strong child. Then I struggled with anorexia when I was like 11 or 12.
0:07
It started like I really wanted to lose some weight and it got worse and worse.
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And I was like, OK, I really have to get smaller and thinner.
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And I really want to prove myself and others that I'm like disciplined enough
0:22
to be as thin as possible.
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And yeah, that really turned into the anorexia and the eating disorder.
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And this is something that like i
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think i struggled almost 20 years with
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it it's like since three or four years
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i really can say i'm i'm healed and my body healed as well and for this i really
0:44
needed to to gain weight just to to heal not only my mind because you you really
0:51
need to to gain weight to like think more clearly about things.
0:59
Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Zone to Speak podcast. I'm your host, Juliana.
1:07
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2:27
Now, let's get into the episode.
2:31
Today on Zone to Speak, I am joined by Leona Kringa, a creator,
2:36
adventurer, and truth-teller who splits her time between rugged trails,
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YouTube, and chasing honest growth.
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Leona has been open about her journey with body image and what it takes to find
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strength, not only in her muscles, but in her mind.
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From ultra-challenge like the
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Via Race to daily rides, her content is more than just beautiful views.
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It's about resilience, authenticity, and using the bike and the camera as both
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sanctuary and platform.
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I am honored to dive into the highs and lows with her and explore what it means
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to paddle toward purpose, even when the road is steep. Leona,
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welcome to Zone to Speak.
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Hey, great to be here. I'm really honored already hearing your word.
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Thank you nice to be here yeah so happy you're here we met at via race and i immediately.
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Liked you and your vibe and what you stand for
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and i knew i wanted to have you on the podcast as
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a guest because i think you are an amazing writer an
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amazing member of our community and you
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do have a very amazing journey and
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message so thank you for being
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here so you have
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been really open about your challenges with weight
4:00
and body image which in a world of filtered content can feel rare and important
4:05
can you walk me through what your relationship with your body has looked over
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over time what were some of the hardest moments and how did you begin to reshape
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the narrative with yourself.
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And for yourself yes that's quite a
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long story i really tried to
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like form it a bit i think i from when i was a child i always had a really like
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bad image of myself or with my body i always was a really like strong child
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and then i struggled with anorexia when i was like 11 or 12 it started.
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I really wanted to lose some weight and it got worse and worse and I was like, okay,
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I really have to get smaller and thinner and I really want to prove myself and
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others that I'm disciplined enough to be as thin as possible.
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And yeah that really turned into
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the the anorexia and the eating disorder and
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this is something that like i think
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i struggled almost 20 years
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with it it's like since three
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or four years i really can say i'm i'm healed and
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my body healed as well and for this
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i really needed to to gain weight just
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to to heal not only my my
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my mind because you you really need to to
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gain weight to like think more clearly
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about things like this and the eating disorder to be strong enough to break
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through your your old habits your really destructive thoughts and stuff like
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that But I also needed to gain weight just to heal the consequences like osteopenia.
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I lost my period for about 20 years.
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I just gave my period back like one and a half years ago.
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It's crazy.
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And for this, I really needed to gain this weight. But this also...
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I needed to change my body image just to know that I'm strong,
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although I'm heavier than before.
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And especially, I think in cycling, that's really just a tricky thing because
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you always have the numbers.
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You're like, okay, if I'm smaller or thinner, I'm faster, especially on the
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climbs and stuff like that.
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And what really helped me is to that
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I started to lift weights to go in the gym really
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put muscle mass on and it's always
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a bit of a conflict with the cycling stuff but
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I really try to to trust myself and to
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just focus on health and performance and
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really in the long-term thing and yes
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that's bit the story behind of my my body
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image and my wish to really be
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as authentic as possible
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about it because i really know i'm not the
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only one who struggles no you are not there are so
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many especially women but also men
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out there who struggle with this and who
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never step out of this struggle just
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stay in this like safety of being
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thin or smaller or eating less and stuff like that
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that's really sad yeah well thanks
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for sharing that and i think it's important that we talk about it and hopefully
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start to create change which is not easy because it's it's an inside job it's
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like a daily conversation with yourself to be healthy and that i don't know
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i I grew up on the Kate Moss era.
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Which, you know, you needed to be as skinny as possible.
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And now it's a little bit better.
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I mean, of course, there's like the filtered of the social world.
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But, you know, I think maybe it's a little bit better because we have different
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role models out there with different body types.
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But it is an inside job of accepting. Like when I, I never had an eating disorder,
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but I definitely struggle with wanting to look a different way.
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And I think sports really helped me, even though I know in cycling there is
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or many other sports, you know, you have to, oh, you don't look like a cyclist
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or, you know, you need to be lose weight to to to be faster.
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But it helped me in a way to tell myself to be
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kinder to myself and say look what your body is doing
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you are riding your bike a
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hundred kilometers or you are doing an ultra race or just trying to be kinder
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that like this body is enabling me to do so many incredible things and I shouldn't
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be treating it so poorly you know I shouldn't hate it I should worship it Yes,
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totally.
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But I think it's really important to be aware of how we think we should look
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like or how the perfect cycling body should look like or athletic body.
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There's no really way of, like, when I look at someone and I think,
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like, oh, perfect body, this person has to be really fit.
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But that's not the truth. But I think we all are tending to think like this
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And so not only for others But also especially for ourselves Yeah,
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100% agree And we have to think as well That it's just like We are weakened
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warriors in a way I know a lot of us are doing a lot of efforts out there And
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being much more active than a regular person But we're not pros You know,
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we're not like in the world tour and even the world tour athletes gain weight
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off season because their body type is not sustainable.
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Yes. Yes. So, yeah, just keep on telling that to ourselves to know that this is not the norm.
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Yes, totally. Yeah. Yeah.
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Yes. So many endurance athletes talk about weight in terms of performance or
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aesthetics, but you have made it clear that the mental side is just as big.
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So how have your perceptions of fitness and ideal body or what should I look
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like shifted as you do more endurance sports like your rides, ultra races?
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How do you balance pushing yourself athletically without internalizing harmful expectations?
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Yes I'm honest I'm still trying to find the right balance in it but I just.
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I think I needed to learn through some injuries to really change my mind towards
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the performance and just to think about more about the long-term stuff.
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I had some stress fractures some years ago.
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I really broke my bones due to just a normal fall down the ground.
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And all of these things just lead towards
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the change of my mind that i really thought like okay this
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i don't want this to be my my future i just want to have fun on my bike really
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want to do this long term for the next like 20 30 years and so on and then i
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really and i also realized that my.
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Mind is like limited I just don't want
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it to to be limited every
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day just focusing on on weight
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on what do I eat how can I be smaller
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and stuff like that I just thought about this
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is not my life I don't want to to live
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like this anymore when I realized this I
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just stepped aside thought about
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it and then i just started working with some experts especially
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nutritionists and they helped me with with
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all of my training and stuff like that and just teach me
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how to fuel myself better just not at the daily baseline so especially to for
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for my training and stuff like that yeah and i think also the first time when
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i had some diagnostic performance diagnostic with or ergometry and stuff like that.
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And I really realized the first time in my life that I really have like, that my body is amazing.
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Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, okay, that's, I'm just, yeah. It was like a miracle for me.
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Well, I'm so happy you came to that realization because some people keep on
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chasing something that it's probably never achievable.
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I'm a wellness coach and I talk a lot about that with my clients that you need
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to come to their realization that wellness is not having certain looks that
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are not sustainable or sometimes even achievable.
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And I also talk a lot about loving yourself. You know, when you look in the
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mirror, you cannot look at a part that you hate and continue to hate yourself on a daily basis.
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You need to look at the parts you love and start there and then eventually becomes
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a habit that you are grateful for your body and you start to love your body.
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But of course, you need also, like you said, you have coaches and you start with a nutritionist.
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It takes sometimes a village for you to have the narrative in your mind in a daily basis.
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Yes. Yeah. And also this work just gave myself the trust to eat more in training and stuff like that.
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Yeah, women, we're so ingrained not to eat as well.
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And we need to eat, especially when you are riding or doing any endurance activity
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or any activity. You need to eat and you need to eat all macros.
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They are macronutrients for a reason.
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Carbs, fats, and protein. It's not just protein. Yeah, definitely.
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Let's talk about VIA. VIA is such a high stakes, raw environment.
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It's a 4,000 kilometer race.
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It has exposure, unpredictability. It's a crucible for both body and mind.
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What was your VIA race like, both physically and emotionally?
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Were there moments where you felt your insecurity surfaced more strongly or
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how did you manage those?
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Yes, so VIA for me was totally different than expected.
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Like, I mean, two or three months before VIA, I just felt like,
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okay, I'm really in a really good shape.
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I'm really feeling strong.
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And yeah, I have some plans and goals. And I think I really can make them.
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And then just right before VIA, I got sick.
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And then we detected an iron deficiency and I really felt like more tired just
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in training, but in daily life.
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And this is what I took with me into VIA.
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And I really was struggling with a lot of fatigue and I was really like tired.
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I really had to sleep much more than I planned to.
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I remember we talked just before the just
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before the start and i was like okay i really want to to ride
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very efficient and i just want to sleep like
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two or four hours because i know my
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my body can handle this and yeah i
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mean you don't work that way no like for two
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yeah two nights it was fine and then my body
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really felt like okay i'm knocked
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out and already in italy i was like okay maybe
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i just it's just not my
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race i maybe i should do in
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dnf just should stop right
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now because i really felt like really off
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not not the way of of being
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tired in the ultra race i mean i i know this feeling
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and this was just like from another space
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but i really didn't want
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it to to stop or I really
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didn't want to not continue because I really was
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looking forward to the to the race itself to to
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the route that I planned to checkpoints then it
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was like okay just just keep going day by day just as long as you have joy as
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long as you be happy every day on the bike just keep going and this is what
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I did and I finished pretty much later than expected but I finished.
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And yes, it was really a great experience, but totally different than expected. But yeah.
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Yeah. Well, I'm happy you kept going. I'm happy you decided to enjoy and,
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you know, reset, readjust.
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I felt you were a little bit disappointed with yourself that it didn't go as
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you planned and you finished.
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After the goal you set for yourself, but I hope you realize that you did something monumental.
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It's not easy to line up.
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It's not easy to get through and it's not easy to finish a 4,000 kilometer race
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that you also do your own routing and you're completely self-sufficient.
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So I am in total awe of you. I think you are amazing.
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And especially that you were being I
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felt that you're being hard on yourself and questioning
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yourself and I think you did amazing I know you it
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was a little bit longer than what you planned but for me
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it's still an amazing time I mean what what did you average
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more than 200 kilometers a day yeah yeah
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yeah it's a lot it's a lot yes for
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like what do you finish in 17 or 18 days
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i think 70 yeah i i
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finished on monday in the evening yeah the
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longest 200k of my life in the netherlands i was
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just just 200k to go and i it took like forever in the flat it was a tough one
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it was a tough one and it also started with so much climbing and then you had
19:05
the flats which should be a relief, but then you have to keep on pushing.
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You don't have the down hills to do any recovery.
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So congratulations again on that finish.
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Thank you. Yes. Did you get any of that in camera?
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I know you have your Tubi channel, which is a space where you share polish and raw moments.
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How has creating video content, showing your rides, victory setbacks play a role in your journey?
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In VR, I really just.
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Took some videos with my phone and not with the camera i just focused on myself and i'm,
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i'm i'm really happy i did so and
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i just didn't put the pressure on me to to create
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some content i'm a bit sad about it
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but i but this was just the right thing for me
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to do in this race yeah i planned otherwise but yes i think i will do like a
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follow-up with the just some pictures that i have and yeah yeah i think sometimes
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it's healthy to put the camera down and just be with yourself.
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Yeah are you going to do via again next year you think or what do you have what are you planning,
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while i was riding via the chapter two
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i was always thinking like oh i have to
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come back next you so i really
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would like to come back to chapter three i think
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it depends on the checkpoints and the route
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i think some of the the route is clear that it finishes in norway and stuff
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like this this would be amazing but this means for me some tricky stuff like
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mosquito and stuff like this I already cycled two times in Scandinavia,
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and I have a big allergy against the mosquitoes. Okay.
21:05
So this is a thing that's a bit tricky for me or can be a bit risky.
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We'll see. But I really would like to go back because the community, it was just amazing.
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Oh my gosh. I really loved being there. Yes. And I really was like so sad that
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I missed you at the checkpoints or the team or the finish itself,
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the finisher party. I was like, no!
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Oh, yeah. It would be great to come back next year. Yeah. Just to see everyone again.
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Yeah. Yeah. I would love to be there as well, but not writing, not writing.
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I would love to write a little bit, but for a thousand, it's still a big challenge far away for me.
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I don't think I would take that
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up anytime soon, but total admiration for everyone doing that. Yes. Yeah.
22:00
What has been the most unexpected lesson you have learned from writing and adventuring
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on your own terms? The most unexpected, pretty good question.
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I'm stronger than I think I am, that I really can go much more further than I expected.
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I think this is really the point that always blows my mind again and again,
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just to realize that I can shift limits when I don't think about them,
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just focusing on riding or just continuing. And then you are just like, oh, wow.
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I'm really like, I went this far. It's amazing.
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Yes. It is pretty incredible. Because before Via, you also did,
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it wasn't a race, I think you did on your own across Europe.
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Yes. The European, the Weichfeld. That's an official bikepacking route across Europe.
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It's off-road, like about 70% off-road from Portugal to Norway,
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or the other way you can choose. Yes. And I did it.
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Three or four years ago, yes, from south to the north, it's over 70,000 kilometers long.
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Wow. How was the experience?
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It was amazing. It was really like one of my best times on the bike.
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It was the first time after school, after studying, after my PhD that I really
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had like three months of off time just cycling and being on my own.
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And it was also my like
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changing point in my anorexia
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history because after that
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i really less i really focused on
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healing myself and my body because after that my body was really like a bit
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craft and i realized okay i really can't continue like this is that when you
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started Cycling or you were already riding before that? No, I was already riding before. Okay.
24:07
Yes. And I did some longer bikepacking trips on my own, crossing the Alps and stuff like that. Yes.
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I was already really into bikepacking and the long distance stuff.
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Nice. Yeah. And on the Europe Divide, were you taking your time and really enjoying it?
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Or were you on a plan that you wanted to finish at a certain time?
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And how long did it take you either way? It took me two months.
24:35
Nice. Yes.
24:38
I mean, I really tried to give myself a lot of time, but I always felt a bit
24:46
like being in a hurry. I really was a bit performance-driven, right?
24:53
I better said I was restless and I just needed
24:56
to to ride my bike all day long and I think
24:59
it was the right thing to do at this
25:02
moment but I didn't really stop or took
25:06
longer rest than maybe one day or
25:09
half day it was pretty long
25:12
yeah it was really like
25:15
after all of the stress and some injuries just
25:18
a few weeks before leaving i broke
25:22
my collarbone and yeah i
25:25
just was happy to just like all day
25:28
long but yeah i think there was the side of
25:31
performance driven and this is the reason i realized
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okay i think i really need to change something.
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I'm i'm still running a bit away
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from myself and i don't want this anymore wow you
25:44
are very aware of a lot
25:47
of your feelings this is really impressive i
25:50
feel like i think being aware
25:53
of all those things you're like more than halfway there to
25:56
to find you know i guess peace peace within
25:59
yourself yes do you still feel now that you're
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running from something when you're on the bike or you're finding more
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peace finally i'm finding more peace
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yes it really took a long time and
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i really needed to to break through all
26:17
of these habits from the anorexia because
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i really needed to to fuel my rights to see training
26:24
not as something to to burn
26:27
calories and stuff like that just to really
26:30
change a few at it
26:33
and just needed a lot of work it.
26:36
Was really it was really hard i'm sure
26:39
i'm sure it was really like i don't need to train
26:42
i really can just like take rest days and i'm happy with it and i really feel
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like really calm now good no guilt yeah no guilt just knowing okay i really
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need this and I really feel confident and good about it.
27:01
But like two or three years ago, it was like.
27:04
Impossible for me. I needed to ride my bike every day or at least getting up
27:11
of bed and just doing like some HIIT intervals.
27:15
I just, yeah, all of this, running away.
27:21
Some listeners may be anywhere in their journeys,
27:26
starting, stalled, cycling, content creating,
27:30
or just dreaming what are some practice or mindsets or routines that you have
27:35
adopted that help you when your self-criticism was creeping in like is there
27:43
anything that you think you could share that might resonate with somebody else
27:47
what always helps me is to.
27:50
Surround myself with people who know me
27:54
really well and who trust
27:57
me or give me the feeling of being just
28:01
enough and additionally i
28:05
think it's really important to to
28:09
be okay with myself just to be not not
28:13
just putting the mobile into your hand
28:16
just keep on scrolling through social media
28:18
just put everything down go for
28:21
a walk in the forest just keep with you just
28:25
write down your thoughts or do some meditation
28:28
some yoga just the basic stuff um
28:33
like cooking or stuff like that just to to
28:36
come back to yourself in a really simple
28:40
way for me that's being at
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home just being surrounded with my my horses
28:46
this is something that really grounds me yes and i think that's really rare
28:51
and in a time like today yeah and i think this applies to anything in life to
28:58
you know to be honest i think that's my experience because also when i'm having some type of.
29:06
Down moment and i just take
29:09
my dog for a walk he resets everything you
29:12
know and and sometimes i don't even want to go on a
29:15
walk it's just because i have to walk my dog but
29:18
then when i get out there I'm like oh my gosh I'm so
29:22
happy I did this so it's sometimes
29:25
we do have to force ourselves it's not something that comes naturally
29:28
like oh I'm just gonna go walk on the forest and everything's gonna be good
29:31
no like you're not gonna want to go out on that walk but go you know and even
29:35
if it's a walk in the city you know if you don't have a forest or your horses
29:39
or a dog just you know I think just getting you know into the world and out
29:44
of our phones and just getting some fresh air,
29:47
It seems silly, but it does make a difference Yes,
29:52
yes, it does Yeah Even if you think like, okay, that's just too simple Yeah,
29:58
it is that simple, but it does make a difference Yeah.
30:04
What's on the horizon for you? More races, stories, adventures?
30:09
How do you envision continuing your impact on your own and for others?
30:15
Yes, I'm thinking about some races next year, but I'm not really sure about it.
30:22
Maybe we are, maybe some others. or maybe
30:26
I really feel like taking some some off
30:29
time just for me to come back to some old
30:34
or own adventures that I did before when I
30:37
just focused on racing like the last two or
30:40
three years and yeah I
30:42
really try to just keep on sharing my thoughts and the stories about all of
30:48
this even though I'm currently a bit struggling with it just because I feel
30:54
like okay sometimes it's just
30:56
good to to keep some things for myself and not directly speak about it.
31:03
Just to save some some energy and then keep on creating because this topic is
31:09
just too important for me to stop sharing my thoughts about it so yeah please
31:16
don't stop I really enjoy your content and your stories and I think it's super helpful.
31:21
Thank you yes I think I always have some thoughts about it but just maybe that's
31:28
the social media stuff you always think like okay my content is not important enough or.
31:35
The other stories are better or stuff like
31:38
that yeah i really need to to step
31:41
over this again and again yeah yeah
31:44
we do you know like i was uh
31:47
interviewing a mountain biker pro mountain
31:51
biker from the u.s her name is sonia she she was a guest in the podcast and
31:55
she also has a podcast and she's also a coach she studied psychology she's amazing
32:01
i love her podcast and she was She told me something that was really helpful and it stayed with me.
32:08
Obviously, I'm talking about it, which is she also was thinking like,
32:12
oh, is my content relevant? How many people are listening?
32:15
How many downloads? But then you don't, you know, then she's just like, you know what?
32:19
What is my value? What is my purpose here with my content?
32:23
And it doesn't matter how many likes, you know, we can't be caught up into that.
32:28
It doesn't matter how many likes. She's doing this for her purpose.
32:31
And if she's touching one person or a hundred or a thousand,
32:36
it doesn't matter because if you're reaching one person and that person is finding
32:40
your content relevant and it's helping them somehow, that's why we're doing this.
32:46
And I think that's you Maybe I'm assuming But I feel you very authentic And
32:52
you're not doing this for likes Or to be popular You're doing this because this
32:57
is important to you And maybe even cathartic to you To talk about it Yes,
33:02
yes, it's true.
33:05
Yeah so i always realize this when i
33:07
get some dms and instagram or emails
33:11
just sometimes the stories are like
33:14
this long and just sharing other people
33:17
are sharing their whole life to me and their story and
33:21
their struggles with anorexia or being stuck
33:24
in in sports how do
33:28
you i'm missing the word addiction yeah
33:31
yeah being addicted to sports and stuff
33:34
like that and i'm just like wow and then they say thank you
33:37
for sharing your story because it helped me
33:40
to think about it or reflect myself or just to get myself help and then i always
33:47
realize okay it's really important to talk about it yeah couldn't agree more
33:53
couldn't agree more well liana thank you so much for sharing your honesty,
34:00
vulnerability, and strength.
34:02
Your story reminds us that cycling and life isn't about having the perfect body
34:08
or the smoothest road, but about showing up for ourselves even when it's messy or hard.
34:15
Anyone listening who has ever felt not enough, not thin enough,
34:19
not fast enough, not strong enough, I hope this conversation reminds you that
34:24
your place in cycling, in adventure, in community is already here.
34:28
And I can't thank you enough, Leona.
34:31
Can't wait to see where your rides and your storytelling take you next.
34:36
And hopefully our paths cross again and I'll see you soon.
34:40
Yes, thank you. It was a pleasure to be here. Thank you. Thank you.
34:47
And that's all for today's episode. I want to thank the listeners for tuning in.
34:53
Your support means everything. If you enjoyed this episode, please consider
34:57
following, leaving a review, and sharing.