Latest / Captivate the Mic: Master Public Speaking & Video, Build Confidence and Boost Visibility / Owning Your Power, Style & Voice in the Courtroom & Beyond | Ley Duson | Captivate the Mic

Transcript

Owning Your Power, Style & Voice in the Courtroom & Beyond | Ley Duson | Captivate the Mic · Captivate the Mic: Master Public Speaking & Video, Build Confidence and Boost Visibility

• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Captivate the Mic with Elaine Williams.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: And have you ever just met somebody and you just love their energy?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Who they are on camera, who they are on Zoom, who they are on social.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Just delightful.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is this person that I'm having on the show in this episode is the one of the reasons I wanted to do my podcast.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to have a podcast that was going to help give speaking tips, video tips, more visibility, and also be able to uplift and share other badass women and their stories and the work that they do, and also help my clients with my platform.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: So this woman, her name is Lay, and she is an attorney, a stylist.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: She does retreats, she's done several retreats in Italy, and now she's gonna be doing her own.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: She's just a lovely human being, and I just think it's wonderful when you meet people who are super successful, but they're also genuinely good, decent human beings.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know about you, but sometimes social media can feel daunting and a little dirty.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Most of my feed is very inspirational.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of art, a lot of dancing, a lot of creatives.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: I love women in sports.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's eclectic, but most of my feed is inspiring people.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: I just love it when you meet somebody who's just a genuinely good human being.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that is a beautiful thing.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about the journey of being a short woman in the professional world and taking up space and loving what you do and the fact that you can do lots of different things, and there's gonna be some style tips and some speaking tips.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: This woman is very in her power and she really owns her voice.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are listening because you want to be a better speaker, make sure you listen to how she uses her voice and the way she communicates is very powerful and it's clear, succinct, and compelling, which is something we all want.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for watching.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Please share this with somebody that you love and ask them to share it with somebody they love.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's how we get the word out.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: We're still growing, we're in all these countries, and we get new downloads every single week, which is so cool.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: If I can help one person with their speaking or visibility or video or inspiration, then my life was worth it.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's part of my mission.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks so much for watching, and please enjoy.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna love this episode with Legend.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: I just I call her Lay because that's just easier for people like me who are challenged when it comes to pronunciation, which is silly because you know, as a comedian, when you're the MC, you say a lot of people's names.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: And boy, have I screwed that up before.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, thank you, Lay, for joining us, Lay all day.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: So excited to be here.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for having me, Elaine.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I I just want to know more about you too.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: We have we met through a mutual mentor, and we have a lot of mutual friends in this community, and we have yet to meet in person, but that is gonna change this year.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: I I feel like in the next 12 months, we are gonna be doing some stuff together.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, Lei, you are an attorney, a stylist, you have done so much stuff.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: What led you to law in the first place?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Were you like a little kid playing judge?
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I picture with like your teddy bears, like well, honestly, Elaine.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: I wish it was that deep, but really it was I love law and order.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I want to be like Jack McCoy.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like the main prosecutor on there, for those who don't know from the the original seasons.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I I really was drawn to the whole criminal law aspect, and I knew I didn't want to be a defense attorney.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I want to be a prosecutor.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: So that's it was probably in high school, but that is what led me to law, and I that's what I ended up doing.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: I was a prosecutor for a while, so yes.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Which cracks me up because I think of prosecutors as sort of you know, harsh, tough people, and you're such a love bucket.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like I I'm like, you are a prosecutor.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny you say that because I have been told I have like my regular lay and then my courtroom lay is a little different.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you know, I'm I'm only 4'10 and a half, and so I have to have a certain, you know, I have to have a certain personality to be taken seriously in law in general.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: Right as a female, as a petite female, and so yes, but I do always try to be fair and you know kind and respectful to all parties, all sides.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: But yes, there's definitely you do have to be a little firm and assertive.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: Female attorney.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I I want to come back to the the the height thing in a second.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: One of my favorite yoga teachers was this woman in Bloomfield and Montclair, and she was also a prosecutor, and the judge would tell her they don't even know what's coming, because she would have this very nice, sweet voice, and the judge was like, they don't even know they just got cut into shreds.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then she would do all this stuff with the nuns too.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: She was her stories were hilarious, and she was a great yoga teacher.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: So who knew it could be all those things at one time?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, yes, we all have different sides to us, yes, and I, you know, I'm five two and a half.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Uh when I'm doing yoga, if I work out too much, I become five two.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I get to and people say when they meet me, wow, you seem so much bigger in life, bigger on Zoom.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: And when they see me on stage, I s I come across as tall because I I have this big personality.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that I, you know, people make fun of short people, and I think I've just I think I had a big personality partly because of growing up in the dysfunction that I grew up in, but but I would love to know like do you were you worried about that going into law?
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, wow, I'm gonna have to be a prosecutor, and not really.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I have, I will say from a young age, I've always been pretty confident.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: I've always had, you know, leadership positions in school and things like that, and I have had never had a problem taking up space.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I wasn't worried about that.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, not really at all.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: And then law school prepared me to be a good litigator.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I I felt pretty confident going to the courtroom.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, you know, when you're a younger prosecutor, you're going against more seasoned attorneys and you will make mistakes and you will learn things.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: But overall, I wasn't really worried about that.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: And also I because I felt prepared, you know, I researched cases and all that.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I felt like as long as I was well prepared, you were good, I would be okay.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you know how we have stories in our head.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: So for the longest time, I'd feel like people don't respect me because I'm short and cute, or because I'm so warm and you know.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then I met this woman who had taught biology to pre-med students in the 70s.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: And she was shorter than me.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: And she was just a pistol.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: She was kind enough to to host me when I was I spoke for a I was a keynote speaker for a high school gala thing, and she was hosting me because my cousins were out of town or whatever.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember thinking, this woman commands the room, and she is shorter than me.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I remember just thinking that story just got blown out of the water, Elaine.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Basically, it's who you're being.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's who you're being.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll tell you too, Elaine.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: I use it to my advantage because you know, court reporters or people to be like, oh, sweetie, what do you need?
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, especially when I was a lot younger, they treat me like a kid, which is fine to me, because I would get what I needed.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: They were super friendly.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I took advantage of it.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if you want to call me sweetie, that's fine by me.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um if you're gonna get me my filing or whatever I need, then great.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: So, yes.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: So it's it's funny.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: I don't, I've never found it to be a detriment whatsoever.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like the size.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I've only used it for its advantages.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I want to have a t-shirt that says, go ahead, underestimate me, please.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: Love that's happened a lot.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, well, that's great because you know, I think, and I love, yeah.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm I I'm so excited.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, I want to ask all these questions.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, so you go into law, you you become a prosecutor, and was this in Maryland?
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: I was a prosecutor in Baltimore City.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: In Baltimore City, and then after X amount of time, you're like, okay, I need something different.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: So, what happened was Elaine, so after four years of being prosecutor in Baltimore City, I just I thought I wanted to be a judge.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I said to myself, okay, well, to be a well-rounded candidate, I want to have criminal experience, but I also want to have civil experience.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: So after that, after the four years in the Baltimore City State's attorney's office, I went to work at a law firm to get some civil experience.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I worked at one law firm doing insurance defense, and then I went to another law firm doing insurance defense.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that was like 2018 to 20 maybe 22-ish.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: I did um private practice.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: And then during private practice, it was COVID, and I was living by myself, and I just hated billable hours and the whole thing, right?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh, this is not for me.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to be a judge.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: For a second thought, right?
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yeah.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so I started this Instagram that was public and it was food, it was travel, it was restaurants, three things that give me joy.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: And as I started posting the outfits, people would DM me or comment, do you do styling?
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I just kept saying no, because I didn't.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I've always loved fashion, but I didn't do styling.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I would give suggestions to friends and family, but that was it.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, style myself.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so after about the fifth person, I thought, should I do styling?
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, so that's you know, that brings us how we're here today and how we met.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: But yes, that ultimately led to what is now lay-all-day personal styling, but it was never a thought.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: I thought I was gonna be a career prosecutor, and you know, that was all I was gonna do.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: So it's funny how you know life will throw throw you for a loop.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I I like to call those happy accidents.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just telling a new client, like, so many times just taking the action, moving forward towards that.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: So many times I didn't get that, but I fell into that.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I wouldn't have been able to be there for that opportunity had it not taken the first step.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that's been for me, that's been half of my life.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I wanted to be the next Merrill Streep.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: I moved to New York City, everyone's like, You're funny, you're funny.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, no, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not trying to be funny.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: People are like, that's funny.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I I stand-up comedy was never on my radar, you know?
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then I had nightmares about it when I finally before I started studying it and taking a class.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then, same for, you know, I wanted to do comedy on college markets, and people kept saying, Well, didn't you have all those addictions?
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: Can't and those life coach sort of, you know, can't you talk about all of that?
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Oh, like, you know, just things that hadn't occurred to me that are like natural.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yeah.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I I completely agree.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I you know, what was funny was so, you know, a few people, you know, said, Do you do signo styling?
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, all right, so I it's funny how the worlds collide.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: So what I did was I asked my friends who have their own law firms, I said, Well, how did you do your LLC?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: What business bank did you use?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, just to get some feelers and to see if it would be feasible to start a business being a full-time attorney.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: And like you said, it's just the action.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I I thought about it.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: I said, you know what, I'm just gonna try it.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: And we'll see, right?
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, four years later, here we are.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I I it is you just have to, you know, believe in yourself, take that action and try because you never know what's gonna happen if you do.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: And did you did you study?
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: I think you said that you have a mentor, a style of a style mentor.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: So shortly after I started the business, so officially I launched October 2022.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: So I got my first client, and maybe four months later, I was on Instagram and I saw an ad for so it was, you know, some styling workshop or something, it was a free workshop.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so I joined, I watched the webinar, and the woman, her name's Kate Taylor, and she's a stylist, and she's also a style like coach for younger stylists, and teaches you the business of styling because that's not really something that's taught comedy.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um and so I joined Kate's program, and it really helped me kind of fine tune.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: So it taught me that I was in the right space.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: I had the framework and the foundation down, but it really helped me fine-tune um aspects of my business.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm still Kate is still my mentor, I'm still in her programs, and she's amazing.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: She's she's really great.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so that that was really like the perfect timing to find her a few months in to make sure I was starting everything on a good foot.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's great.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm such a fan of coaches and mentors.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, if you, you know, you can do it yourself, but you're gonna make a lot more sta mistakes.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be lonely and frustrating, and it's gonna take you a lot longer.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Or you can hire somebody who's been where you want to go, who has something that you want, and you're not gonna be so alone, and you know, I'm just a huge fan, as I'm sure you are too.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, I don't also I don't, I'm juggling to career, so I don't have time to reinvent the wheel.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I am very much like you, and I've always been a proponent of investing in yourself.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: And mentors, coaches, they are just investments in yourself and in your future.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: And if someone has the blueprint, why would you not pay them to give it to you?
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's a little silly.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, I mean, I'm not one who loves to struggle.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: So uh, yeah, I'm all about mentors and coaches, and I've found some really great ones who have really helped elevate my business.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm super grateful.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: Me too if I met you through one of them.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: So well, and a lot of times sometimes the coach isn't always the greatest, but you meet the coolest people through them, or like, you know, sometimes like I I'm like, well, that mentor, oh, but I met Katarina through her.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, sometimes you go and it's not the actual thing you went to, but you have all this other fallout in a good way.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: So yes, absolutely I love that.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: So you're still uh an attorney?
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_01: So I went back to the government uh because I I am a government attorney at heart.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I went back to being a prosecutor for three years for working for the state of Maryland.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I was dealing with um corruption of public officials and law enforcement, and now I work for the Baltimore City Law Department, and I'm responsible for misconduct for police officers um in dealing with those hearings.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so still in the thick of things.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, it sounds like law and order to me, like DJ.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I'm back in Baltimore and I love it, and yeah, so it's nice.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: I really do like having the law for the cerebral aspect, and the styling is that creative side that I didn't even think I had.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: So you didn't even think you had elements of the two.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: I have a joke, Leigh, that I'm the only actress in the whole New York City area who did not work on Law and Order.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's in everybody's bio in Broadway.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's like, oh yeah, I had an under five, which is under five lines.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: And and uh I worked with a DA.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: I did a comedy show on Broadway at Carolines with a guy, and he was like, Okay, listen, everybody, it does not look like the TV show.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: People have no teeth, people have, you know, like nobody's attractive.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, nothing gets solved in 30 minutes, and you know, it was just he had a it was hilarious.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: His that is so funny, yeah.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: So funny because they have to, you know, they have to do it quick.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: So, okay, so you're so you're doing the style thing and you're doing the attorney thing.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me about the retreats.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, okay, Elaine.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: So once again, never planned on doing this either.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: But because our our mutual coach Katerina, Katarina's really big into retreats, and she said, you know, you should think about adding that as part of your business.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Okay.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: So I went to I did Katerina's Thrive with Retreats program, and I learned a lot about retreats, and then um actually last year I really love Italy.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_01: So last year I went to Italy with my best friend to kind of test out, see what it would be like to do a women's retreat there, and I loved it, fine-tuned the activities and everything I wanted to do.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: And then this year I took a group of five women and we went to northern Italy, and it was an amazing week.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: We did uh most time in Torino, and then we finished up in Style Capital of the World, Milan, one of them, and it was really fun.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm doing it again next year, Elaine.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I can't wait to bring another group.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: I love what, and you know, Paola is I introduced Paula to Caterina, so I don't know if you know that, but yeah, I think you did say that, yeah.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and so I got to be like her first sort of test retreat person when and we were shooting content in these beautiful museums and with these beautiful Georgina, and oh my gosh, it's such a beautiful part of Italy that's very different.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's I love it.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's quieter, it's more, you know, slower than city life and Milan.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: Milan's great, but you know, it's a completely different part of neutrino.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: I have to say, I, because I'm, you know, big city girl, I the people in Milan were all so gorgeous, and even though it was so hot, they all were still dressed to the nines with beautiful Italian shoes, beautiful purses and wallets, and all the men were wearing like navy suits.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I I kept trying to take pictures of just people because they were just gorgeous.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: They don't mess around with the style there, they really don't.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I love it.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: The people watching it's so good, so good.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: Magnificent, yeah.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I love it.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: So you you know, one of the things I love about retreats is just the minute you leave your normal environment, it can give you a new perspective, right?
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then did you see people having like aha's about themselves or their journeys?
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: And it was fun because you know, I I carefully curated this group of women.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't post about the retreat on my website, you know, the public couldn't really join it.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: So anyone who was interested, I either knew them or they were a friend of a friend.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, I vetted, and I really wanted this group to mesh well together because if you're gonna spend a week with people, you want them to get along and like each other, and that's what happened.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: So some people knew each other, others didn't.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: There was one woman I didn't know at all, she was a friend of my friends, um, but she ended up being great.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: And my goal and what I hoped was that everyone, you know, would become friends and form their own relationships.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm happy to report it happened.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know, some people they were super into fitness and we would go on walks together, or you know, like people would kind of pair off and do different activities and free time, and that gave me so much joy.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you know, for this group of like-minded women to find other like-minded women and have this really, really great once-in-a-lifetime experience.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: So, yes, people had aha's, and I did a really long feedback questionnaire after, and I loved the responses of you know, why they, you know, why they decided to go on the retreat, what they learned.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, some people, this was one of one of my friends who Came as well, you know, she had had a bad um accident and she was really into horseback riding, but she can't do it anymore.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so she said that you know she felt kind of lost, and so coming on the street like reignited something for her.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: And we did movement some mornings, and she does belly dancing.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so I'd asked her to do a lesson for us.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: She did, she brought us the the belly scars, you know, the hip scars and all that.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: And when we came back, she said, you know, Lei, thank you so much because this has reignited me wanting to do this, and she's gonna in the fall start teaching at like a center, the belly dancing classes.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_01: So even though she can't do the horseback riding anymore, she's found this new passion for this, and like it just made me so happy.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that we could all support her with like getting back into that, and so it yes, it was it was a really great trip.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: That is amazing.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you got to go to Prada.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, wow.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'd never been, so it was great.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: It was it was really fun.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: That is so crazy.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: There used to be this really cool store in Soho that had been part of the Guggenheim, and and then they changed it into the Prada store, and it was I would tell all the tourists like go down there.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's so crazy.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's so crazy.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: $30,000 for a dress or whatever, but yes.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, awesome.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then, so how do people work with you?
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: So people work with me in an in different ways.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_01: So I have one-on-one clients a lane, and you know, I clean out people's closets, I take people shopping, I'll make looks for them for work, for vacation, for travel, you know, whatever's going on, and they can work with me if they're in, I'm in uh Maryland.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: So if they're in the DMV, DC, Maryland, Virginia, uh, I do everything in person if they'd like.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: And if they're in the DMV or wherever they are in America, I can also do virtual.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so I I style one-on-one.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: And then I also have a monthly membership.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're if you're like Lay, I don't need full styling, but I want outfit inspiration.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: I have the Lay All Day Style Club where I send outfits and lookbooks, and then you can just shop the pieces you like.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_01: You just click on them and shop whatever you like.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I have a men and women's version of the style club.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: I have the retreats, which enrollment will start next week for 2027.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_01: So if anyone's interested, you know, of course, let me know.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: And let's see, am I missing anything, Lane?
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: One-on-one style club retreats, and I speak.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I really love educating about style and fashion.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I speak at law firms, I speak for organizations, businesses, bar associations, you know, women's groups, whatever it is, about image and confidence and why it's so important as professionals.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: So they're all the ways that you can work with me, Elaine.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: Lots of whatever, whatever you need, uh, those are the ways.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: I love it, Lei.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I, for people listening, so I've had the privilege, I've had several clients who were stylists, and I feel like it's God saying, Okay, we gotta help you.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: So, because I, you know, for me, shopping is a lot of times I find it stressful.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like, oh, this is so fun.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I've learned there's so much about the line and the cut and what and knowing like what is gonna go great with your body type, even if your weight has gone up or down a little bit, and who doesn't have a little bit of fluctuation because we're women, right?
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then also there's a whole concept of color.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the things I just want to underline is, and I'm sure you're the same way, like people are afraid that if they hire a stylist, you're going to make them throw out half of their closet, or you're going to make them get things that they hate.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so, can we just dispel that myth?
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, I mean, some stylists might do that.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: That is absolutely not my approach.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, my approach is to enhance and elevate where you already are, and whatever your personal style is, because my clients, their style is almost never like mine, right?
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I can't tell them we're this, we're that.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't align with you know how they want to look.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so my goal is if you tell me my personal style is X, then I'm gonna find the brands that work for you, the brands that work for your body type, and then we're gonna go from there.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I never force people to throw anything out, you know.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to know, does it fit well?
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: Is it in line with your personal style?
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_01: Is it in good condition?
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: And if the answer to all those are yes, keep it.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: Does it fit?
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and even if it doesn't fit, some clients they have, you know, really expensive items.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: You talked about our weights fluctuate, especially, right?
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: And they don't want to throw away that really expensive suit.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I just tell them just don't have it in your regular, like everyday closet, right?
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: If it doesn't fit, but you don't want to get rid of it, then maybe let's put it in the basement or in the guest room.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: Somewhere we're not seeing it every day and feeling bad that it doesn't fit.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: But I actually I don't really tell clients to throw away.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: If they don't want to throw it away, it's usually that's perfectly fine.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: But I just want to be in good condition, it aligns with your personal style, and if so, keep it.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that, and then also like I I have been in the you know, coaching female entrepreneurs for 10 years plus, and now I'm pivoting a little bit and focusing more on C-suite and professionals, attorneys and doctors.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm thinking about elevating my look.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, ooh, I'm not, I mean, I have a idea of a style, but I think it's gonna be um I'm up-leveling.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: So is that something you could help somebody with?
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_01: And you know what I always tell everybody, Elaine, whether it's my friends, my family, clients, I always tell them, you know, knowing what your personal style is is the foundation of styling in your wardrobe.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so you gotta hammer that down.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_01: And what I always tell people is think of three to five adjectives of what is important to you and how you want to be perceived, whether that's in person, whether it's on the Zoom screen.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: And then those adjectives are going to help guide your style.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, I always like to look feminine, I always want to be comfortable, and I always like to look polished.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: So those three things guide what I'm looking for.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I love bows and bling and ruffles, all those things, right?
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_01: And that, you know, that all and I like things that are comfortable.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: So you're not really gonna ever see me in really stiff or uncomfortable materials and things, right?
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: So those adjectives that are the they'll be the foundation of your style.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_01: And then once you have them, that can guide you to okay, what brands and what stores are gonna work for that style.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: But you definitely want to figure that out before you just go shopping for random things because then most likely what's gonna happen is your your wardrobe is not going to be cohesive and then it's not gonna work in that.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: That is stressful.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_01: So once you've got that personal style down, then that can help guide you for where you should be shopping.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, thank you.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then what do you say to the people who are like, Why did I buy this?
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we've all done it, right?
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: We've all been swept up, we're at the beach, and we buy one of those like crazy colored Kafkan things that we only wear once at the beach, and then we go, Was I drunk on Pina Coladas?
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why?
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: We've all done it, right?
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: All of us, yes.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: And that, and that once again though, Elaine, is because usually if that happens, you don't have your personal style down because you're not going to be drawn to something that doesn't align with the rest of your wardrobe, right?
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't really, but if I see something on a mannequin, it's usually at a store that's one of my store, my go-to brands, and it will align with what I'm buying, right?
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm not gonna see something in a random store and be like, ooh, I really want that if it doesn't align with that polished, professional, feminine look that I like to go for.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, just do you did you tell people like forgive yourself and give it away?
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like yeah, it depends.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so some people they spend a lot of money on that item and they don't want to give it away, which is fine.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_01: So then we can try and work with it and see what pieces they have.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: We can maybe get it together or not, we can maybe buy something to complement that piece.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: But if not, yes, give it away.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's taking up space and you're not gonna wear it.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: And we want space for items you are gonna wear and that you're going to be reaching for time and time again, right?
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_01: We don't want things taking up space that is just taking up space for no reason.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_00: I love that, Lei.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: And if people want to know more about you, I will have all this stuff in the show notes, but where is one place they can go?
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_01: One place you can go is layallday.com, L-E-A-Y-A-L-D-A-Y.com, and you can find my styling packages, my speaking, blog posts about fashion and style, all the things.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I could talk to you all day long, but I know we both have busy, busy lives and clients and family and all the things.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, in wrapping up, is there one super tip you could impart to the people who listen?
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: I I it's a lot of entrepreneurs and and speakers and um probably some other people I don't even know about because we keep growing, so thank you everybody.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, what what's a super tip you can give us?
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_01: Uh my super tip would be that your most confident self and image is gonna be your most authentic.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so when it comes to styling image, you need to be authentically you and not dress for anybody else but you.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_01: And then when you do that, that confidence is gonna shine through and people are gonna feed off of it.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: Dress for yourself.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I there's definitely some dresses that I just love wearing.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: I love the way they feel on my body.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: I love, you know, my muscular shape or whatever.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: So wow.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you so much, Lei, for all of your beauty and wisdom.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: And you make me want to go back to Torina with Paula, Paula in Italy.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_00: She's amazing.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, if you're watching or listening, thank you so much for joining us with Captivate the Mic.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: And please share this with somebody you love, maybe somebody who's been in a, you know, in a funk or in a style rut.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, it it helps the podcast if you share this so that we can keep going and so that people who don't know about us can follow us.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, Lei, thank you so much for joining us.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's been such a pleasure.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_01: I had the best time.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_00: All right, bye everybody.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.