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Do Narcissists EVER Stop Hoovering? When Will a Narcissist Finally Leave You Alone? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So will the hoovering by narcissist ever stop?
• 0:04
  Like would they ever just leave you be?
• 0:07
  Would they ever just leave you the hell alone and stop emailing
• 0:10
  you or texting you or calling you or sending money to you on
• 0:14
  cash app in very small increments?
• 0:16
  They send you a dollar on cash app just to say hello.
• 0:18
  They PayPal you a dollar just to say I miss you and I love you so
• 0:22
  much. They ask you for money.
• 0:25
  Sometimes you get messages across when they don't have the
• 0:28
  resources. Would they ever stop doing it?
• 0:30
  That's what we talk about today. Yeah.
• 0:32
  Would they ever stop? Hoover, If you're new here, my
• 0:39
  name is Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist.
• 0:41
  And I give you the inside look at the mind of a narcissist.
• 0:45
  And while some some of us do the things that we do right and
• 0:49
  today we talk about hoovering. When will they ever stop?
• 0:52
  When will a narcissist ever stop reaching out?
• 0:54
  Do they ever stop reaching out? So let me get this other way
• 0:57
  real quick. I have to say I have to lead
• 0:59
  with this. Not every single narcissist will
• 1:04
  Hoover you or try to reach out to you.
• 1:06
  Dare I said it, No2 narcissists are the same.
• 1:10
  I, I think I like to think about narcissistic people like
• 1:13
  fingerprints, right? It is like No2, no two
• 1:17
  fingerprints all the same, but we all have fingerprints.
• 1:19
  So no two narcissists are the same.
• 1:22
  So not every single narcissist is going to try to reach out to
• 1:24
  you. Some of them will leave you
• 1:25
  alone immediately off RIP because some of them don't think
• 1:29
  that they have an opportunity, they don't have a chance, like
• 1:32
  the chance of rejection is too high.
• 1:34
  So some of them soon as the breakup happens, they disappear.
• 1:38
  You know, it is not because you were not worth anything.
• 1:40
  I know people say that some I had people in my comment
• 1:42
  sessions last night when I was live.
• 1:44
  They were like, well, Lee, I didn't get hoovered.
• 1:46
  Was I not worth enough? Like you want to be stalked?
• 1:51
  You want to be stalked and harassed.
• 1:52
  There are so many other people in the comment session asking
• 1:55
  why they how to get it to stop. You want to be stalked.
• 2:00
  That's something I talk about, right?
• 2:02
  You want to be stalked. Come on now.
• 2:06
  So no, not every single narcissist Hoover's.
• 2:08
  But when will the ones that Hoover stop?
• 2:11
  When will they stop reaching out?
• 2:13
  When will they leave you be? When will they decide to leave
• 2:16
  you alone and go there, go in their own direction, go in their
• 2:19
  own separate ways? When will that happen?
• 2:22
  Typically? You might have to force them to
• 2:25
  stop, y'all? And I know this is not up
• 2:27
  everybody's wheelhouse because so many people don't want to
• 2:30
  have to do this. So many people like, well Lee, I
• 2:32
  don't want to like Lee. Why do I have to be the one that
• 2:35
  makes them stop? Why don't they just be an adult
• 2:38
  and leave me the hell alone? Why do I have to be the one that
• 2:41
  ends it? Because narcissist.
• 2:43
  Some, some of them don't get the hint.
• 2:45
  Some narcissist egos are so damn inflated, so inflated that they
• 2:51
  cannot understand that you don't want to deal with them anymore.
• 2:54
  They cannot fathom the reason why you just decided like you
• 2:58
  can't you. They can't.
• 2:59
  They can't. They can't piece it together,
• 3:02
  right? They can't fathom, they can't
• 3:04
  think about a reason why you wouldn't want to be with them
• 3:07
  anymore, right? Their egos are too big.
• 3:09
  So some of them you have to force them to leave you alone.
• 3:12
  You have a OK, Lee, I got it. How do we force them to leave us
• 3:16
  alone? Sometimes you might have to go
• 3:21
  on Google. This, this, this should work for
• 3:23
  everybody right here. Y'all go on Google, Google local
• 3:28
  local Police Department phone number because you might need
• 3:31
  it. You might have to call the
• 3:33
  police. And I look, I'm going to be real
• 3:36
  with you. If you call the police and
• 3:39
  you're not serious, sometimes the police will not take you
• 3:42
  seriously, right? If you call the police because
• 3:45
  you want to enforce an order or get them to leave you the hell
• 3:48
  alone, but you intend to drop the restraining order or not
• 3:51
  press charges. You just want to teach them a
• 3:52
  lesson. I promise you there are certain
• 3:54
  cops out there when they see your address come up, they'll be
• 3:57
  like, oh, they, they, they've dropped the charges before.
• 4:00
  Take our time getting there. And because they take their time
• 4:03
  getting there, it's too late and people are going to be like,
• 4:07
  well, Lee, that's not true. It's not true every single time,
• 4:10
  y'all. But I've talked to people in
• 4:11
  these situations, I've talked to people in these scenarios where
• 4:16
  they've called the cops so many times to their address and they
• 4:19
  didn't, they didn't press charges.
• 4:21
  They just wanted to show their partner that they would call the
• 4:24
  cops, that the cops take their time showing up.
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  And because the cops take their time showing up, the other
• 4:29
  person can get away or do more harm to them.
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  I'm not look, this is not me trying to blame y'all or just
• 4:34
  trying to say, well, you guys stop playing with the police.
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  They no, I'm just telling you, sometimes this is the end result
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  that sometimes these police officers will bow the hell out.
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  They will. They're humans too, right?
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  You got to be. I've just got to keep it hot
• 4:50
  with y'all. So if you have to call the
• 4:52
  police in order to get them to leave you alone, you must be
• 4:55
  ready to follow through with it. I'm just telling you, I, I know
• 4:58
  sometimes even when you get the police involved and you do
• 5:00
  follow through with it, the narcissistic person still could
• 5:03
  pop up on you because the restraining order or calling the
• 5:05
  police does not provide a force field, right?
• 5:08
  They can still call and text or whatever because they, you know,
• 5:11
  this how society is, They can still pop up or stalk you or
• 5:14
  whatever because that's just how the world is.
• 5:16
  They could still do it, but you have to be willing to, you have
• 5:19
  to be willing to enforce the orders if you get one, OK,
• 5:22
  Because I'm just telling you, if you're not that person, the
• 5:26
  toxic person, the narcissistic person might not take you
• 5:29
  seriously. So you have, you have to be able
• 5:32
  to, to protect yourself and protect your peace in these
• 5:34
  situations right here. Because if you don't, I'm going
• 5:37
  to tell you if you don't, sometimes they might not take
• 5:39
  you as seriously. And I hate that for you.
• 5:42
  I hate that for so many people. I really do, because then you
• 5:46
  have to re encounter this person, deal with this person
• 5:48
  over and over again and it sucks.
• 5:52
  It really does, y'all. So when will so back at the
• 5:57
  topic at hand, will a narcissist ever stop hoovering you?
• 6:01
  Yes, sometimes they will y'all. And again, if they have a new
• 6:05
  supply, they might leave you alone.
• 6:09
  This is also not a guarantee that it will happen like this.
• 6:14
  It is not guaranteed that just because they have a new supply
• 6:18
  or they have a new person or new Boo, it does not mean for
• 6:22
  certain that they will leave you alone.
• 6:25
  Sometimes they can have a new supply and still want to reach
• 6:29
  out to you. I I say this a lot but I'll keep
• 6:33
  having to say it because I want to get into your heads.
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  One person is not enough for most narcissistic people.
• 6:40
  They always want a new supply or background supply or multiple
• 6:43
  supplies at the same time. One person is rarely ever
• 6:47
  enough. I'm just keeping it hot and
• 6:49
  ready with you. I'm just keeping it flaming hot
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  like a Little Caesar's pizza. This is what I have to do right
• 6:54
  here, right? This what goes on narcissistic
• 6:57
  people do it like that. And this is real.
• 7:01
  Like so sometimes they will have a new supply still reach out to
• 7:04
  you, but other times if like if they so Lee what, what what's
• 7:10
  the difference between them having a new supply and reaching
• 7:12
  out and them having a new supply and not reaching out?
• 7:15
  If they have a new supply and they stop reaching out to you,
• 7:18
  it's because sometimes they've already gotten hit.
• 7:20
  They've already convinced the new supply that you're crazy and
• 7:24
  that you did so much harm to them that you are abusive to
• 7:27
  them. So they don't want to reach out
• 7:29
  to you because it makes them look it makes them look like
• 7:30
  liars. Like if I got a new supply like
• 7:33
  my ex beat my ass and trying to take my life and I get caught
• 7:36
  texting them kissy faces and hard eyes and and wanting to
• 7:39
  smash or clap some cheeks or something like that.
• 7:41
  That makes me look like a liar. So sometimes they will leave
• 7:44
  absolutely leave you alone other times y'all?
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  And this is not even new supply like this is not even new supply
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  contained. Sometimes they will leave you
• 7:54
  alone like I said in the beginning because they've done
• 7:57
  too much damage. They will stop hoovering if they
• 8:01
  think they can't come back, if they've done too much damage in
• 8:05
  their in their in their minds. In my mind, as a narcissist,
• 8:08
  I've done too much to this person.
• 8:10
  There is no way that they will forgive me again.
• 8:14
  There's no way in hell that I can go back to them.
• 8:18
  They will just ball me the hell up like I my ego is way too big
• 8:24
  to give this person the opportunity to hurt me.
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  I know if I go back to them, they're going to say no to me
• 8:30
  and it's going to hurt my feelings.
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  It's going to hurt my ego. It's going to bring me so much
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  shame that I won't know what to do with it.
• 8:37
  I won't know how to handle it. I won't know how to even move
• 8:41
  forward or process my life after this has went down, after this
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  scenario has occurred, right? I won't know what to do.
• 8:49
  So there are a lot of to this. A lot of times this happens to
• 8:52
  narcissistic people where we go through these scenarios in our
• 8:55
  mind that I don't want to get my feelings hurt.
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  So no, I'm not going to reach out to you.
• 8:59
  No, And also right here, I saw this actually saw this last
• 9:03
  night on the video. I might actually do a video of
• 9:05
  my TikTok about this. This man, this woman, her her
• 9:10
  baby daddy, who she said, who she said was a narcissist like
• 9:13
  literally threw a rock through her window, threw a rock through
• 9:16
  her window. He's like see you, you, you, you
• 9:19
  can't move on, you can't move on.
• 9:21
  If you do move on, go get your go get your man, go get your
• 9:24
  man. I'll beat his ass too.
• 9:26
  And guess what happened? She got a man and a man.
• 9:29
  She posted video her man beating him up and guess what?
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  She ain't hear from him since. So the news supply him.
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  He's scared, he's scared the Hoover, he's scared the Hoover.
• 9:39
  He don't want a Hoover no more. He got beat up.
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  He's afraid. Sometimes they're afraid because
• 9:44
  they don't know what what happened to them.
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  Sometimes they won't Hoover any they won't Hoover again or try
• 9:48
  to reach back out to you because they're afraid.
• 9:51
  They might be afraid of your new Boo, your new partner, whatever.
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  Or they might be afraid of going to jail or getting charges
• 9:57
  pressed against them or ruining their life.
• 10:00
  Whatever life they whatever new life they might have set up,
• 10:03
  they could be afraid to ruin that type of stuff.
• 10:05
  The the way their life, their life is set up.
• 10:08
  They could be afraid to ruin that for themselves and whatnot.
• 10:10
  Y'all. So this is something that
• 10:12
  narcissists consider as well. It's kind of like a cost benefit
• 10:15
  analysis. If I reach out to them and they
• 10:18
  got a new Boo, that new Boo could beat me up or let me beat
• 10:22
  me up. Sometimes I won't reach out to
• 10:24
  you because I think you got a new person in your life that's
• 10:27
  better than me. And I, my ego can't take that
• 10:29
  either. Like literally, my ego can't
• 10:33
  handle that either. And I know that sounds childish,
• 10:35
  like Lee, that sounds ridiculous.
• 10:37
  It is. It is ridiculous.
• 10:40
  My ego can't handle the fact that you might have a new person
• 10:43
  in your life that's better than me.
• 10:45
  So I know it's kind of like out of sight, out of mind.
• 10:47
  In my mind, I'm going to imagine that you can't do better than
• 10:50
  me, but realistically you could, right?
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  I don't want to call you. It's like we just want to check
• 10:55
  in on you. I know you ain't doing good.
• 10:56
  I know you're not doing better without me.
• 10:57
  Actually, I'm in Turks and Caicos right now on $1,000,000
• 11:00
  yacht and then at a party with billionaires.
• 11:04
  Woo Hoo, how you get there. Oh my, my new Boo.
• 11:08
  They're the owner of this huge company.
• 11:10
  Now I feel like now I feel this small.
• 11:13
  You see what I'm saying? Now I feel this small.
• 11:15
  I'm doing a squat, y'all. I'm not telling you that you
• 11:20
  have to move on to get them to leave you alone, but there are
• 11:22
  some ways that they will. There are some reasons that they
• 11:25
  will leave you alone. And stop trying to hurry, y'all.
• 11:28
  Anyway, y'all, we've reached the comax.
• 11:30
  Shout out to Usher, going nowhere fast.
• 11:32
  We've reached the COMAX. So if you haven't already, check
• 11:35
  out my website for my courses, my support group, everything
• 11:38
  y'all all thing Lee Hammock or at everything from Lee Hammock
• 11:41
  is at mentalillness.net. If you're looking to take one of
• 11:44
  my courses, you can enter the code Mothers or fathers and get
• 11:49
  50% off my courses. I got a bundle on there too.
• 11:51
  You get both of my courses for half off with code Mothers or
• 11:54
  Fathers at mentalillness.net. If you're on YouTube, click one
• 11:58
  of these to watch another video and hit the subscribe button.
• 12:01
  Wherever you are, I'm out. Peace.