Latest / WarHams - Narrative Declaration / A Chaos Odyssey – Ep. 7 – Kickstart my Heart

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A Chaos Odyssey – Ep. 7 – Kickstart my Heart · WarHams - Narrative Declaration

• Yeah, that new DACA possum, what's his name, Joel? This is a serious campaign. You see a swarm. All right, I'm going to shoost it with my gun. We are at the world of DAB. Even though, even though EZ told us, hey, we don't really need you to do the clap anymore. Because it doesn't help him all that much anymore. We're going to do it anyway. All right, all right, get ready. Five, four, three, two, one, clap. Excellent. That clap was for you, EZ. Exactly, it's us giving you a round of applause. I think he also asked us to do an individual clap for the thing. So everyone. EZ gets a single clap. No, no, no, that's the last thing I'm going to suggest we do. I'll ask everyone one by one to just do a clap. You know, just because apparently that helps him more. So, Arendelle, do a clap. Pokey. Odo. Thurston. Speaker. He's dead. Me. I fucking clapped. I fucking clapped. All right, hopefully you can sleep to that one. You have many secrets, Speaker. Yeah, holy shit. Holy shit, he has many secrets. He has many secrets. Welcome back, everyone, to another episode of Chaos Odyssey. Everyone's been having a fantastic time. Good to see everybody. Hope you are doing wonderful. If you are listening to this on top of a mountain, don't look down, because we are so happy to see you. Because we do not want to see you. We do not want to see you fall. We want to see you rise every day, just like our Chaos guys. Rising, trying to ascend, trying to become better and better, and seeing what Hulky does. This is a really fucked up podcast to listen to on, like, a hike up a mountain. Much like sitting on top of a mountain. Except you, Doug. You know what you did, Doug. Yeah, Doug. Yeah, Doug. Fucking Doug. Fuck you, Doug. Yeah. Yeah, Doug. What happened, Doug? Yeah. Some Doug's, like, probably real depressed today, and he's like... No! No! There is one Doug on a hike right now, and we have just blown his fucking mind! This is Nostalgia Critic's 13th fucking reason, guys. You're right. Would you guys play with the Nostalgia Critic if I invited him? I hope this motivates you to get one. I would play with the Nostalgia Critic. Yeah? I would play with the Nostalgia Critic. I'm going to bring your . We wouldn't be able to shut the fuck up. Definitely. We'd be... We'd be really obnoxious. But, no, it was good to see everybody. I hope everyone had a fantastic time. Good to see everyone for a brand new episode of the Chaos Odyssey. And, Thurston... What? Adventure. You have forced... You have forced today, because I think last time, we went forward and we went into the fighting pits, where we saw Yevgeny fight against an orc, if I remember right. Yevgeny, how'd the day go? Yevgeny, how'd the day go? Single greenskin. I won. How did you win? Because I am fated by the gods to not die this day. I would have also have accepted just Melt-A-Gun. Yeah, but also the foxy of Byzantium hauling ass to the ship, and then, you know, teleporting a Melt-A-Gun. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. melt a gun melt a gun is how it won yeah it's true whatever that's your narrative i'm gonna say the real stuff yeah and i'm declaring it i look at the camera i'm pogging right now it was that you went forward to teleport or teleport or melt a gun but of course we all see that it was a divine intervention by some chaos god who though well sephus mentioned that you know he'll take he'll take some credit for some and zinc will take credit for the teleportation so we got we got a couple on the scoreboard right now yeah how about that how about the fucking actual person that did it though maybe get some credit you know anyway more important uh there was a wolf that also came forth and he went lifos had ptsd uh unfortunately unfortunately he got mauled by it but he was able to do some uh there's some big stuff by putting a plasma gun and or pass the pistol in his face blowing about actually it was his leg but you know i wanted to be you head and who's counting yeah yeah who cares who cares about the hit locations uh like it's always the left yeah they were able to slay their foes win into the pits to try and get if i got this right uh coordinates to try to get to to have and i keep thinking it's an orc planet of da ab but it's just da hab you have here yes yes box with me this game so this by the way this here here's like here's an amazing note to aspiring game writers um this is something i just fucked up on you should always say the word aloud a few times and think of what someone else will do with it like da hab totally is how orcs would talk about like the hab or whatnot so i should have caught that um this is much like we one time at paizo learned um in the big sagamore ballroom at gen con with like thousand plus people that using box text that includes undead horrors burst from the tapestry is not a great thing to say over a mic system it's a really fucked up tapestry that's why you that's that's why that's why you listen to our show you get the deep lore in gaming you get to see the interesting news of this is how i fucked up today but of course i believe we were on our way after the the denagogue basically uh has declared even or predicted whatever i see it's going to happen but you know predicted by xanthi's demise and also giving us star charts and information to get to to have and i believe that's where we left off thurston if i got that right what adventure do you have for us today yeah yeah yeah yeah all right all right all right first of all first of all um everyone i think we should all give uh xorin a round of applause this is the first time in an episode where he successfully got a chaos odyssey right and didn't say chaos theory so good job good job i just i you know that's why i just want to give you a little pog champ moment there pog champ all right all right all right all right all right all right Oh, thank you. I love the W's. They taste good. I know. Good, good, good. You know what? You know what? You can have this W. Zoran, read the quote. Absolutely. True knowledge of what dwells in the warp must be suppressed. For mankind could not continue. They knew the truth about the horrors that exist upon the other side of the veil. Apocrypta of Navus, Noble Light. Excerpt. All right. We start in the warp. I am going to bring up the scene. The carcass. Why is that there? Oh, gosh. Why are these there? Okay, there we go. The carcass is now transitioning, having left the station. And you are guided. By your recent recruit, the demagogue, Tetriath. She has, ever since your departure from the station, unervingly sat, or stood, I should say, on the decks of the Strategium. By the corpse captain. Staring out, though through shattered glass, into the depths of the immaterial. It has been about two weeks so far of travel. What has everyone been doing in the two weeks since your departure from the Epsilon Station? In this instance, Cephas has been taking the opportunity to pray to Nurgle for two weeks. For being so... So kind and so polite as to spare Evgeny his appointed fate. And he's doing that with any like-minded Nurgle person aboard the ship. Or any menial that can afford to not puke in his presence. How does a Nurgle worship? I would presume just like you find a narrow corridor and you just wander through it, wafting a censer filled with foul puke. Putrid-smelling smoke. Back and forth, back and forth, up and down the halls. Just walking on a long walk of appreciation and joy. I thought it would be like an eternal, like the eternal toast or something. To where you hold up a goblet and you're like, Ah, to Nurgle! And you drink it, but then vomit it back. And then you raise it again, going, Ah, to Nurgle! And then you keep drinking it, vomit it back. No, he couldn't do that for two weeks. That would get bored. Yeah, that'd be really long. You get the infinite drink he always provides. Steal that freak in the brap chamber and let him do his dirty. He's going on a long walk throughout the ship for two weeks. And he's just walking with Lucitrix and whoever else is coming along and swinging a plague censer and being like, Praise be to Nurgle. Praise be to the grandfather. Breathe deep. And he's just doing that. And he's just going on a long walk throughout the ship for two weeks. And he's just doing that. Awesome. All right. What about the rest of you? Let's see what Byzantium is up to. Byzantium is going to be hard at work for the next two weeks. Drilling, training, and generally getting the new Praetorian complement on the carcass inundated and assimilated into the vessel and its culture. So basically just trying to make sure that they've got everything they need, that they're able to be security forces, that they've been drilled in like void ship combat. And like, you know, there's like, hey, you're going to protect this zone. You're going to get this zone. And basically making sure that the new blood soldiery of this decrepit and horrendous vessel can at least do their job properly in the end. In the event of a boarding attack. Awesome. Can you give me a, like, these are rigid soldiers. It's difficult to break some of their conditioning from before. Can you give me like a command test at minus ten? Absolutely, I can. And I will make it as soon as I can get onto the right tab. Oh, my God, I'm so stupid. I believe. Very good. A minus ten command. Yeah. That's a five. Woo! Cheers! Very nice. There you go. Yeah. With that five, could I potentially dedicate them to Slaanesh? Or at least begin them down the road? Well. You know. I could see you working. Working. Yeah. Yeah. Probably wouldn't be able to do it all at once. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Give me a sec here. I mean, you're trying to do a little corrupty corrupty. Do you call the military exercises they practice, like, instead of just, like, practice operations or something, but you call it plain grab ass? Is it Slaanesh? No, we do fucking practice operations because the Emperor's children are the greatest legion of the Chaos Astartes, of any Astartes, and we're the greatest soldiers, don't you know? Allegedly. We're perfect. We're literally perfect, guys. It's chill. Interesting. Interesting. Um. Give me a sec here. Just, uh, just double checking some, some services to chaos, um, elements here. Okay. Um. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Uh. Tsk. You know... Okay, Speaker. I'm going to regret giving you this opening. I'm going to regret it for a while, but, you know, we're going to, we're going to do it anyways. How? How do you indulge in acts of desecration and blasphemy involving this unit? Okay. So, that's really easy. The main way we're going to do it is adherence to perfect drill instruction. We are going to go through this until it is second nature. Then, we're going to go through this while we are being drugged and go through it second nature. It's not a combat drill if you can't replicate it to the exact specifications to a T while high on LSD. All right? And then, afterwards, those that underperform or die or show a reluctance towards the new group effort, those, perhaps, that might be winnowed, the weak among them, they will become our new targets in target practice. They will become our new playthings. They will be getting their limbs and arms removed. And they will be... A few of them might be rendered down to several emperors, children, drugs. That's one of our specialties that the boys back on Terra were quite fond of. And, in general, I want to make sure that Hansi Ekelbret's Praetorians understand that their long legacy of pride and duty to the emperor is not shameful, provided it is moved in concert with the true great powers of this galaxy. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I dig it. I dig it. Roll me one d3. You got it. Uh, I will roll one d3. And that is going to be a three. Cool. Um. You gain three infamy. Hey! 300 troops also die in your training regimen. Oh my god! That's a fine sacrifice to she who thirsts. And the rest will be all the way here for it. And then they all die in glorious service. To you! Okay. Awesome. Awesome. I assume they're also all set up in one of the various empty launch bays. Yes, absolutely. And I hope to... Byzantium's secret goal, that obviously he's not told anyone on account of all of his secrets, has been not so subtly been to refurbish this goddamn carcass and make it something actually worth the glory that Byzantium thirsts for. So he's... He's going to be looking out for shiny new equipment, keeping the troops supplemented, keeping them trained. That's what he wants to do. Did... Did Izzy show you the artwork that Fred did, by the way? The monkey paw? The Chikaro's paw? The Chikaro's paw? If you're listening to this, it'll be up. It was good. It was really good. Because, you know, curse Chikaro's paw. Consequences are something that happens to other people. Consequences are something that happens to other people. Consequences are something that happens to other people. Consequences are something that happens to other people. Other people. Speaking of consequences happening to other people, Lifos! Oh, boy! What are your two weeks on the carcass like? So, at the start of this adventure, I rolled the B in Annoying Asshole. So I have to live up to that. Yeah, oh yes. Did you say the Demagogue was with us? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tatraith. She has positioned herself on the bridge where she is. She is the strategium where she is basically like staring out into the immaterium, even though it's covered. She seems still seems to like stare out. So, you know, you know what, how it feels when someone comes up to you, you know, probably in a public place where everyone's enjoying the same hobby, where they have a really good idea for an adventure or a cool character that they really want your company to the really, you know, take up. And really put them into spotlight for that. So there's you there. Let me tell you about my character in this NPC. Yes. Oh, the entire time on how great Lifos is of being the greatest sorcerer of Prosperous, even better than our man himself, that poser. Like he is, he is saying all of his accomplishments, how great of a teacher he was, you know, and all this other stuff, how many students he sent off to now become great sorcerers themselves. And yeah, but yeah, but yeah, like he's going off like really stretching it. It just it's just like, do you know that I, you know, it's like everywhere I go, my magnificence pours through the room and it's just constantly all of that. Two weeks. OK, give me a God. What's the what's the what's the horrific willpower? And. No, no, no. I'm going to make you roll a check. One sec. I like it when the players have to deal with their own deal with their own actions. I do. Yeah. Yeah. One sec. It's a good one here. You know what? Give me a charm at minus ten. Oh, boy. A charm at minus ten. That's nearly impossible. I mean, I need to go under a 16. Here we go. Oh, no. Oh, I saw the one I saw. So one. It was you know, the problem is, you just didn't want it and. Oh, he's got it for yourself. Yeah. Tetris herself reaches through the like the skeins of fate and pushes that fucking dice because of how angry she is and she will not exist in a fucking galaxy where that can be tolerated. Oh, I don't want anyone. Oh, hey there, buddy. No. Need a moment. No. Play the game. Do you want some chick? Do you want some chick? No. Do you want some chicken nuggets? I threw my pencil. No. That was a really expensive pencil, too. It actually was. It's the only thing that it's one of those things that works for a tablet, so I don't know where it is now. Oh. We've also super lost art. I'll find it. It's okay, everyone. I found the pencil. Yay. I found the pencil. Okay. Good. Thank God. It was in my window blinds. Oh, my God. I chucked it. You know. I was. I was in my window blinds. Oh, my God. I chucked it. You know. I was upset about this roll. There was emotion. Yeah. There was. Oh. I deserve an Oscar. Anyway, it was an 81 with eight degrees of failure. I can't evade the failure because it's not that. Sorry. I'm making fun of the button you have there. Yeah. That's it. There's. I see. And perhaps you should be going. Perhaps you have important studies to be doing as an arcane master. Oh, I already know everything. Oh. I know all of the lore and the secrets of the warp. All of it? Sometimes I have to look it up. But I can get to it with time. What was the capital city of Prospero? That one. Furious sound of typing as he pulls up the wiki. What? What? Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. Lexican. This is not the capital of Prospero! Let me go to the library and get the Lexicanum! gotta get to the black library. The City of Light. Ah. Very, good. Very good. Oh, it's the flagship of the thousands. Thurston will be coming out of this one like, Fuck you! It is called the Fo-Tep, a Gloriana-class battleship. Well played. Well played. The internet has many, many lore bits to give. It has many secrets. It has many secrets. And what school of tutelage were you under from the Thousand Suns? Astronomy. Oh, so you like stars. Because I am one. I hate you. That's a really Sagittarius thing of you to say. Look, I was into this shit, to be this bad ass, serious sorcerer. But you made me roll to be a motherfucker, and it's funny and I'm stuck with it. Don't worry, I'm not complaining. It was a really fun... Time to Get Witами hey Bethael that's me how do you spend two weeks on this god's forsaken ship Bethael is definitely going to be spending a lot of time in the pit now that he's without his chain hammer he's kind of having to readjust to different weapons not that he's never used a chainsword before but it's been a while so he's going to be working on that a little bit he'll definitely have at least once poked his head into the training that Byzante was doing smelled the drugs made a face and then closed the door you just you literally walk out and there's just an orgy going on and you slowly close the door and back the fuck out not going in there fucking saw some Conan the Barbarian ass fucking people the big green soup with severed hands and heads in it yes I am here oh god okay here's a deep cut for listeners if you've ever seen society you know yeah there we go yeah that's a good one that's a deep cut if you haven't seen society don't you'll you'll thank me oh god um uh but yeah spending a lot of that time training and he would I think extend the offer to Evgeny seeing him struggle in the arenas uh would offer him a little bit of hand-to-hand combat um training once again once again there like fucking the lighthouse picture of he of Evgeny hey little buddy would you like some training yeah just with all 26 of his fellowship trying to bring it up as gently as possible which probably consisted of so that was not very good how does how does Evgeny react when this approach occurs Evgeny will actually take Bethael up on the offer among the he's going to do oh good oh good okay okay excellent excellent are you sure that you won't just beat me into a fine red paste Bethael no I am very positive I know how to hold back for one and for two it is clear that you are the one who needs to practice swinging more so than I never said that I didn't but you're more than correct if you might be able to impart some of your abilities on me I might be able to not be flayne alive a second time that is the intent I see in you the potential to to grow beyond what you have been What we saw in the pits. I saw the rage in you. I saw something is slumbering in your chest. You just need the right push to bring it out. And it is in fighting with your brothers, in my experience, that will bring it out. In all my years in serving with the guard under the peerless and faultless Inquisition, many times I had to dip into that wellspring of most crimson hatred and anger to fight my way out of an otherwise unwinnable situation. It is a deeply primal sensation, one that I have never felt before. It is a deeply primal sensation, one that I have never felt before. I have no doubts you are very keenly aware of and fond of the struggle simply to live and claw your way out of the depths of hell to live another day. It is terrifying, but it is resplendent in its adrenaline, just feeling alive in the throes of grueling combat. Your blades clenched. Cutting through and mowing down swaths of enemies by the dozen, knowing that if you falter even for a second, that they will not hesitate to take your skull, or worse, take you back with them. Yes, precisely. And if that is what you learned serving the corpse emperor, then you left for a reason. And I need you to show me the way. I will show you what passes for hatred among my lesser kind than yours, sir. Your hatred is not lesser. I look forward to it. Not of rage, of course, but... Well, we'll cross that bridge if we come to it. I'm always learning new things about the rage. come alright so Evgeny you spend some time with Beth Isle trying to improve your combat skills you got some experience last time did you spend any of that experience trying to improve your combat skills I did see you took Berserk Charge I did among the things that I acquired I did pick up Berserk Charge as well as well that's the only corn aligned upgrade that I took it's pretty good it's pretty good it makes sense it makes sense very very very very good very fair RP and setup there yeah alright and I assume Beth Isle beyond that you're going to probably spend some more time sparring with Hellbrost Scorch Teeth yes indeed continues to just fucking mock and berate you the entire time about losing your chain hammer you probably have nothing but like scorn after the tenth bout when you're told you might have made that hit if you had your chain hammer yeah Beth Isle is definitely the nails are running a little hot at that one he's definitely there's that like deep pit of shame in his stomach not only for losing his prized weapon but for turning it on somebody who in the back of his mind he considers begrudgingly a brother and definitely he's going to be dipping in and out of frenzy blacking out just for moments at a time against Hellbrost yeah the the cage is incredibly damaged like after many of your your sparring bouts the walls are just broken in places there's dents everywhere as though just like a wild fury helbros gives as well as he takes you're you're fairly um you know you're you're you're you're able to handle your rage a bit better than before but oh does it flow in those cages um all right all right that brings us to evgeny uh outside of your uh your little uh berserker training what else is evgeny doing two weeks on the ship evgeny has a lot to do with his little little legs in the span of two weeks so he has to make the most of his time while traversing ostensibly a greater distance than any of his sworn brothers right now certainly sparring is one of those things and upping his proficiency with a blade to fight much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much greater and deadlier threats that he's used to but also nursing his wounds and admiring the scars that he has gained in that time having survived nearly being flensed, naped to chop by that orc boy now a even greater patchwork of meshed skin and scarring but despite the healing he admires that and knows that he is more resilient for surviving the ordeal whether or not he truly deserved it is not in question at this point but he faltered and nearly died in that arena and such he is brushing up on things like how to be better at shooting it's not always going to be line formation it's not always going to be things like setting up for ambushes but learning how to make calls on the fly things like trying to cripple a target rather than just put them down outright to buy time when he might not have it in closer range engagements as such during that time he did acquire the ability of dead eye shot which gives him some notable bonuses to to to well to well call shots so it'll reduce some of the penalties for making a ranged attack that is called beyond that as well of course he's taking some time to meet with each of his brothers certainly Lyphos for seeing the unseen and trying to gain a bit of that precognition that he attempted to tap into or might have been exposed to during that brain poking at it session in the bar visiting Cephas as well this immovable bulwark because if anybody among the team was going to be able to tell him and help him get a better appreciation for just standing his ground and trying to weather blows it might be him even if he's a bit more blessed and ultimately among everything else of trying to stay alive and heal and brush up on his martial prowess probably encountering Byzante as he's trying to fight back the horrors of what he's endured both recently and before with some heavy drinking and a lot more smoking throughout the ship a little bit of overindulgence to dull the pain so he spends a bit of time kind of talking with everybody and gaining their insights of his new family continuing to be undivided if you will best a filthy filthy centrist oh i'm gonna get you shadows of four space marines above you getting on the couch do do do make a choice do do do make a choice do do do make a choice do do do make a choice do do do make a choice do do do make a choice do do do make a choice pick your mind all right awesome awesome okay uh i think sums up the travails and traversals through the warp fairly well righty um uh let's go with speaker read this one for me your thing boss sorry i have hansy echelbert covering it he's pretty cool if the road is easy the destination is worthless saints about proverbs you are all summoned to the strategic it is an alert summons uh it comes very clipped from the captain's voice uh out to each of you on a shared com uh out to each of you on a shared com frequency um make your way over due to positioning Cephas you're the first. When you come onto the Strategium deck you can tell that all of the shutters remain closed though a small section of the Strategium is locked off. You can tell that that is where the Demagogue Tatria has maneuvered into and it's very likely she is directly communing with whatever entities or visions she has within the Immaterium. Of course as you come onto the bridge there is the macabre almost indiscernible yet ever-present strange dark flesh-stitched abomination of the Captain. The voice stands at his side. Cephas will Cephas will Cephas will sorry go ahead no I was gonna say what do you do as you enter Cephas is still got the sensor but what he's going to do is he's going to draw it up with his other hand and like straighten it out so that his hand is just above the bell of it with his free hand and he's going to pass it over to Lucitrix and he's going to step forward since he would have been doing that the entire time. Cephas will do that the entire time. Cephas will do that the entire time. Yeah. Am I to wait for my brothers or is there something to discuss here? There's like this droning sound from the Captain like a it's very discordant like bass sound as though like some bells are being told from within its being. Cephas is going to wisely keep the minimum safe distance away from the Captain but he will speak as respectfully as he can from that distance. Yeah the Captain's voice speaks about the same time that Bethael and Evgeny enter we are ready to translate. Her voice is exasperated the Vox like augmenter which usually would give her a kind of that tone seems to almost be ineffective in terms of the exasperation coming through on her voice as though she herself is physically taxed by whatever is going on. We will translate not into real space but out of the storm we are in. Bethel's going to take a few steps up remember the scorpion tail and what happened last time, and is gonna stop, like, a foot behind Cephas. Absolutely. There you are. It smells like your march has been productive. It's been very productive. I'm so tired. It was a useful two weeks. If I may, what are we being called up here for? Are we to witness this breaching of the storm? I assume you wish to know your destination, once it is in visual range. We are going to the Herb, no? Yes, and we are. Yes, and we are. Yes, and we are. Yes, and we are. Nearly there. Hmm. I thought I was going to blink a couple of times. Uh, I'm not a very perceptive man, but this is definitely out of her usual behavior. Like, have we ever seen her like this before after particularly tough warp translations? Um, she's been, like, exasperated or exhausted, but never to this degree. Is something amiss? Voice? The demagogue requires much of a captain. Ah, you're being drained by our new hire. It is a difficult journey. Cephas is going to turn to the demagogue, assuming that, you know... She's sealed away. She's in, like, that sealed-off room. So you don't actually see... You assume she's in there, but... Well, he knows better than to bother psychers when they're doing something as difficult as pushing an entire ship through unreality, so he's going to refrain from barging in. He will assume the captain and the voice can take it, and if not, well, you know... We'll still be stuck here. Yeah. But that... But people who don't is Lifos and Byzante who walk on. Next. Everyone! Having a lovely last two weeks, I found it oh-so-refreshing to have fresh blood in the halls again. Yes, I heard. As always, you cannot keep your volume down. Ah, songs, please, Slanish, and you are as always welcome to join. What the hell is wrong with the... They're being leeched by the demagogue in order to assist in translating us to Dahab. They're not taking it very well. Ah, that reminds me. The person that we were all warned against, that dark apostle. We don't suppose there could be any connection. I will take a moment to remind you. You all have a personal relation to this individual, and I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not going to lie to you. They were on this ship. You just don't know the personal relationship yet. We'll give you... Ah, interesting. They are the only... As far as you're aware, they are the only person to break the curse of this ship. Question. In character, do we remember it, even if we don't know out of character? Yes. Okay. Yes, yeah, yeah. In character, do you remember, like, this person was someone you spent some time with? Some time with? Cephas only very briefly. Yeah, because he's new here. Okay. Yeah. So this person was with us after the Siege of Terra. Yes. Okay. Got it. And then got off, like, got off the vessel, and once they were out of the curse of the carcass, they have been doing mustache twirling things. That you've been kind of ever, ever so often getting intermingled with. Okay. So then... What makes this particularly difficult? It is the path. We move. We move again. We move. We move again. We... And then, like, there is again this sort of just... A-tonal barrage from the captain. Ugh. Hey, Evgeny. How are you handling all of this? Looking at the miasma of soul-siphoning and warp-fuckery about, about as well as he's handled any of this, which is just kind of standing with a vague sense of unease, trying to... keep composure. It's like, hmm. It's, uh... I'm really, really having a great time here. And the feeling is mutual. I have no strong opinions on one way or the other. I just want to make it to the planet without having my soul consumed. You won't... You won't do that, right? You won't drain me to fuel this translation? No, they won't. Good. Good. And the sloth- I'm gonna go pat his chest. Then we will gladly take this extra sustenance. No, you will not. No. I'm good, thank you. There is, like, a sudden crack sound across the strategium, followed immediately by shudders lowering. The strange unlights of the immaterium blast in, though the way that they blast in is different than what you're used to. They're muted. The colors, not the maddening ones of the full warp, but some other lesser variant. As you are somewhat struck by them, uh... there is a planet that comes. And you see a world, uh, up ahead in the miasmic storm. It's somewhat, um, somewhat broken, uh, into four distinct quadrants. Each of the quadrants, uh, has some different coloration to it. One a swirling red miasm, one a green, one a lurid pink, and the other, uh, fairly, you know, noble, ish blue that sometimes seems to twist into yellow, sometimes switching even to, to rainbow patterns. Um, all of this around sort of an equatorial band that is just what must be the natural state of this world, a, like, deep rock formation of stone. I see all four points. I see all four points. I see all four points. Um... That seems like it'd be a good omen. Ugh. With that, uh, Tatriath the Demagog emerges from the sealed chamber. Uh... Her, her arms are sort of, like, inwardly bent like a frail old woman, though certainly she's not aged in any notable way, just her composure. We are here. We are... ...at... the world of Dahab. Is the state of this world the reason why it was so difficult to get here? It moves within the realm of the gods. This world is a planet of... of war, made by war, eternal war, endless war. So nothing different, then? No, this is an echo from back and forth of the long war that has never ended. Uh, I see. Yeah. Uh, what would I want to make to determine anything about the system that Dahab is in? Or is this, or are we looking at what is commonly referred to as a rogue planet? Um, you know what, what kind of, like, navigation or warp-related skills do you have? Ah, let's find out, shall we? I have... Hmm... I'll be fairly open if you have something that's even reasonably appropriate here. I have nothing. You have Awareness. You could look out at the... I could, I could literally look out the port and try to see if I can see a... a star that's brighter than the rest of them. Would that, would that count? Yeah, give me a plus 20. Okay. Awareness test. Sephis strides up to the nearest window. Yeah, no good. Uh, 87. Oh. It played with that 10, um... Nah, you stride up and you, it looks like it's just, like, a planet lost in the miasm of storms, and then itself is a miasm of storms. Well, there's no real telling if this is going to be a... system, or if we're dealing with a planet that has slipped its surly bonds of gravity and is... roaming about in the warp. ...A reflection of the sun. A reflection of the long war. It's going to be cold. Bethael is going to exchange a somewhat uneasy glance with Byzantium Lyphos. What troubles you, oh brother mine? Nothing. Do you see anything you recognize from here? I see the four primary colors of our awful, hideous warp guards. I see the four primary colors of our awful, hideous warp guards. I see the four primary colors of our awful, hideous warp guards. I see the four primary colors of our awful, hideous warp guards. I see the four primary colors of our awful, hideous warp guards. I see the four primary colors of our awful, hideous warp guards. I see the four primary colors of our awful, hideous warp guards. And, uh, a lot of empty space. But, uh, after saying that, Byzantium will actually look whether he'll share that with the party. What are you asking you, Lyphos? Do you see anything you'll recognize? Yes, you can, but your Auspex does not benefit you here. I would imagine it wouldn't. Yeah, because I'm not looking at something really. I'm really looking at, like, displays and shit. You're looking at concepts of, uh... Yes. Yeah. You know, I don't say anything, I think. I'm not going to say anything with that 78 and 4 degrees of failure. You gotta say that you're lying. You're just going to smile knowingly? I have many secrets. I would like to roll a... Lyphos. I would like to roll an Occultism. Ooh, that's a good... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, that's a good one. Uh, give me that at a plus 20. Thank you. Yeah, that's an appropriate skill. Oh. I'm looking for a 65, and I don't get that. Oh, no. Wow. I got a 72 with 2 degrees of failure. I'm going to laugh so hard if it turns out that Dahab is, like, in a neutron star system, and there's just the brightest of all possible, like, fucking stars just gleaming at us, but we're just looking for the wrong one. So we can't see it. We're like, yeah, we're doing all this. All this test is going to do is, like, you wait a few moments. Bwoosh. Yeah, yeah, exactly. All of this is really to find out if Evgeny walks out and immediately catches, like, you know, Warp Star cancer. No. No. You see, it wasn't the chaos that was going to get you. The chaos. That's true, that's true, that's true. Warp cancer. Yeah. Yeah, Jesus. All right. Oh, gosh. Well, that was the three space marines so far. Beth, are you doing any checks? I... Or are you just like, no, this is Warp magic bullshit. I don't care about Warp magic bullshit. Yeah, I don't care about Warp magic bullshit, but they did say it was a... that it reflected the long war, so I can give you a forbidden lore Horus heresy to see if I recognize anything. That's... That's a good one, yeah. It's better than some of mine. Just plus zero. I'll even give you a plus 10 on this. Well, plus 10, wow. Yeah, I know. Oh, I'm so smarties. That's 18, target of 42. As you gaze at this, there's like the briefest moment where what you... what you see is like a strange mirror of what you remember during your time on Terra a long time. I... One of the things that you're noticing, and I assume there's like... there's sensorium that are active and you're seeing these in sort of like consoles over the bridge, as there's like orbital scans and picked relays that are coming in, you see images, and amidst some of them, you see structures and strange architecture that is completely alien and out of place, and you're really just like staring at this, seeing these scroll by, but you... Where it's almost nonsensical, which most things in the inventory are, you know, extensions of human thought and feelings and emotion, given physicality, you... I don't wanna know that shit. You, however, recall this type of structure as being near the absolute end of the Siege, during a brief moment that spanned an eternity, when you and your brothers, in fact, at that culminating moment when we opened the campaign, were in an area that wasn't on Terra, but was... You would later find out, possibly, from a Dark Apostle, in fact, that the area you were in was a region called the Inevitable City. It is a region within the Immaterium that is a realm of chaos that exists across reality and time, and for a brief moment, that city was part of the Palace of Terra. Yeah, Bethael's going to get closer and, like, squint and blink. I imagine that, because of the nails, his memory of the Long War is spotty at the best of times. At the best of times, yes, but this is, like, a moment of raw clarity, like, where everyone else is, like, like, looking outside and stuff. You're... You see these picks come in, and when you see the, like, the picked images, where everyone would be like, oh, that's just a bunch of random mishmash, that mishmash is exactly the battlefields that you fought on during the latter points of the Siege, where, like, reality essentially came undone at the end of the Siege of Terra, and you weren't just fighting on the soil of Terra, you were fighting in, like, strange, unreal realms. Look. Lyphos. Byzante. Here. Yes? You recognize this place? The... The... The... What? The city. The... Inevitable city. I see. Ooh. Well, doesn't that set a shiver up your spine? Lyphos does not know this, because Lyphos refused to listen to these discussions from the Dark Apostle, because he was way too good for the Dark Apostle. Come on! There's been an image in my head thinking that the... I'm sorry, it's not about the Dark Apostle, but just to get out of my mind, if you don't mind. Yeah. That the demagogue, when he was annoying the demagogue, that she was like, oh, I'm going to go into the room now, or you can't see me, and I'm going to psychically link to the ship and go away. And then as he does so, he psychically projects himself in there, like, I don't know what I was saying, as if she can't see me. Oh, my God. 100%. I thought you were going to say Dark Apostle. I just needed to get that out there. I'm sorry. You're just burning in my brain. You're good. Yeah, but yeah, no, like, for the Dark Apostle, he's just like, no, you simpleton. And you're so dumb, your name starts with a J. It's so common. I'm not going to pay attention to you. You're not even worth my magnificent time. It's like a flashback of his time talking to him. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you're like, try to make his name a J. No, it's not, because it already has a name. Dang it. It's a Z or an A. Dang it. I tried to be clear. You tried, though. You tried. And then Byzantium has a flashback to when he told his life, though. Easy. Easy. Go back to the prior five episodes. Edit all of the prior quotes, so it's Joel Anonke. Joel! Joel! Joel! I didn't know his name, though. I'm sorry. But yeah, like, that's what Byzantium was doing. Like, he's like, oh, no, his name's not this. It's actually... Yeah, five sessions ago, Byzantium failed a minus 10 willpower check, and they told Lighthouse, oh, yeah, that new dark apostle, what's his name, Joel? Okay, like... Notes this down for future flashback episodes. The name is Joel. The disreputable and horrible Joel Anonke. But in all seriousness, you know, we rewind. Lighthouse will begin to look down. I assume, like, these, like, surface images that the, like, long-distance cameras are picking up and stuff. He'll kind of look at them all. Is the area where we were together and then eventually kind of, like, extricated from shown at any point? No, no, no. Like, it's not like it is a recreation of it. Like, what Bethael has seen is, like, little, like, snippets. Like, oh, there's a building there. Because the geometry's not consistent at all. But, like, there's just enough for you to go, oh, this could be the same place best as we can metaphysically push it. Or at least, like, part of this planet intersects with it. I'll say something and feel free to be like, no, that's wrong or whatever. His life host is looking at it. He's like, he's like, It seems this planet is a manifestation of the emotions people would have to certain places. The battlefield's terrible memories of places to seize and attack from. Memories and hopes broken, all accumulated from the emotions of all who condense, to form into a single world. And as we have come here, it sees our emotions, our moments that we hold dear to us. What does that place mean to you? And he'll point to the area as he points at Bethael. Or as he looks at Bethael, as he's pointing to the screen. The... inevitable city. Bethael's gonna kinda scrunch up his face a bit and just... try to rack his memory about the time he spent there. A lot of the time of the Siege on Terra was fully lost to the nails, so he's just kind of, like, obviously focusing on it. Oh, yeah. Trying to pinpoint something. This just hurts as you try to do it. It, like, actively hurts you now, um, to try to concentrate to that degree, it's, it's not... It, it, it's, it's like trying to remember the specifics of a reflection in water, um, but every time you fail, someone is drilling the back of your skull. You struggling to remember, brother? Much... of the Siege. I do not remember. I can help you. I can help you remember. You will stay out of my mind. Oh, but there's so many answers in there. Why don't we pick it out and be, and make it revealed? Aren't you so curious? You will keep. Your psychic bullshit out of my mind. Not only because I despise it, but because it would be your undoing. My foes have put a couple, cut some of his hands up and go, I offered to give you the answers, I believe, deep and down. You would love to know the things taken from you due to your... He kind of, he was, he would kind of like do a hand motion over his skull as if, as if he would brush hair in the back of his head if he had any. Uh, and he kind of like stops and looks at his hand and back to Bethael. Oh, I apologize. I will leave you to your, well, your would-be thoughts. To prisons. I don't need your help! He backs away, uh, throws his cape, as he does so, and walks, and walks by everybody and just kind of, you know, wizard hands behind his back, looking at the exit. Uh, but doing so... And Bethael's outburst, all of the eyes of the captain, like, move within its inky darkness and stare at Bethael momentarily, like, for a split second, before they start to, like, drift apart like fish in water. We have an objective, do we not? We will land on this planet, we will find this apostle, and then we will be done. I do not care. I do not care how this relates to the Long War. I do not care if I've been here before. Let us simply get this done. Cephas is going to step towards the bickering that he has been kind of observing from the background. Seems that there is a great deal regarding this apostle. Met them... I don't think I've met them terribly long, if at all. You'll have to explain this to me at some point. This is all very... unknown to me, and I'd rather know things I'm going to engage with. Oh, well, Cephas, if you want someone to tell you about the apostle, I could tell you all about it. And then I'm going to choose to fail a minus ten willpower check? Thank you, yeah. If I wanted to, I'm in. I want you to roll the dice. I want you to roll the dice just because we have to be faithful. Okay, that's fair, that's fair. It undoes my great narrative storytelling plans of flashback episodes. You know, the dice have spoken. The dice have spoken! The dice in a rare pairing of random chance and GM's will, the dice have worked with you. That's right. That's fucking right. The dice are on your side today, Thurston. If people talked over it, it was 92 with seven degrees of failure, podcast people. That is correct. Yes. That's impressive. It's one of my many secrets. As I have come to understand it, yes. You will tell me it in time when it is more relevant, no doubt, and I will patiently wait for it. All that you need to know is that he is the only one who broke the... Broke the what? Sorry, you cut off. The curse. Ah. The curse? The bullshit. Yeah. Look at this dumb motherfucker. He doesn't know about the curse. Oh, yes. Fuck, yes. Oh, my God. Oh, shit. There's some kind of curse that you didn't tell me about? Yes. Oh, fuck. Poor Hokey. Holy shit. Oh, man. I was telling you that I've got many secrets. Yes, I remember that very clearly. Many secrets. Well, there's one of those that I would love. I would love to share with you right now. Lightus, why don't you tell him all about... What do you... What do you mean there's a curse? Dearest... What, what? ...Evgeny... Why are you starting this off like it's a Civil War letter? Like, my dearest Evgeny. Dearest Evgeny, it has to be that you have lacked the information that would come here with the Calamity, the Calamity that you have been befuddled about. By accordance, by accordance with the power invested in me to bestow upon you this information, that you have indeed been cursed. Sorry, I... Let me get off the bit and go too seriously. Um, life also come up to you, uh, Evgeny, and he'll say, like, Oh, it's a detail that I think we all have forgotten to mention. We're all so used to it, I believe, but bit by bit, it's been an interesting journey for us all. You see, Evgeny, for those who step upon this ship, cannot leave. Now, we could extricate, go on excursions, easily be away for a little bit. So no matter where you go, the circle will complete, and you will find your way back on this deck. But somehow, one of us broke it, and that's who we're going to visit. We would very much like to learn from him and get rid of him. Why would you want to get rid of him? I mean, he broke the curse. Byzantium, why don't you tell him? Come on, man. I just want you to roll. I just want to see you squirm, he says. Let's see what you got. You're such an asshole, Laithos. Say the line, Byzantii. Byzantii is going to explain in laborious detail everything that he knows on the subject through a sick guitar shred with no lyrics. A podcast, people, that's key with six degrees of failure. Be sure to say the number and the degrees That's right. Forgive me. I'm very silly. No, it's okay. Anyway, instead of answering your question, I will just play Raining Blood. Laithos will blankly look at Byzantium in bed. It's a fucking awesome guitar solo, but... But also, you're cursed now. For what purpose would you possibly be bound and bitten to this ship? Surely there has to be some way to break it. No. Evgeny, you are a worshiper of the dark gods now. Curses should come second nature. No, no. As should breaking them. Where's all the grandiosity of being free? You know, just... You worship a different power. Don't be such a wet blanket. This weakness is unbecoming of you, who have survived a quarrel with an orc by the skin of your very teeth. No, we're cursed to this vessel. It'll follow us, and we'll wind up finding our way here some way or another. Inevitably. But that's really only a problem when you desire to leave it. And honestly, Evgeny, part of why we didn't tell you is... Honestly, I don't think any of us thought you'd live this long. For most mortals... I did! Really? Yes! If I may interject, Evgeny, you are thinking of this far too literally as a problem. If you were on a gigantic planet with all kinds of biomes and realms you could explore, but you were tethered to a Taurox to explore it in, what would the difference be? Well, if I'm tethered to a Taurox, then I have a several thousand kilogram weight weighing me down. Can't actually explore it now, can I? You'd still have to go back to it, and you could take it wherever you wanted, and it would let you go as far as it is willing to let you go, but you must always go back to it. And in time, you will figure something out about this, as we are attempting to. You must be patient, though. And it is not that bad. If you have patience. And fortitude. Evgeny touches the patchwork of scarred rent flesh on his chest. Unfortunately, I seem to be lacking in the fortitude department, Cephis. Quite notably, the bulking plates of ceramite, gene glands, and all whatever you're full of, makes you you, and doesn't make you me. It is not all ceramite and flesh. You will find that out if you were to commune with the Grandfather. I think I'm good, as I have said. As you wish. And if you seek change, Evgeny, there are always paths you can take. Is it going to seal all the flesh off my head and give me a floating skull? No. This was a mistake by... He kind of stops for a moment. He goes, Persian Embersoul. Someone who didn't quite understand what they were doing. Which has been my quest. In which, partially, we're successful. He indicates to his bones. Were you not all skeleton before, sir? I was flesh and blood, just like you. I mean, you were obviously flesh and blood before that. I mean, you were worse off than being a floating skull. Suspended by magic? He reaches inside of his armor as if it was hollow. Basically like some Fullmetal Alchemist-like stuff. And he grabs a handful of sand and he presents it and it begins to fall down. But as it falls down, it seems to disappear. Like not even touching the floor. It's like there's like a little bit of magical spark at the bottom of it. And he'll say, he'll say, what happened to us? It's all went to dust. Our bodies were disintegrated. Our consciousness ripped away. Becoming mindless soldiers. Rubicundi. But some of us, we were to retain ourselves. To ascend. But some of these engines go not the way we all want it. Such as the plight of the Geiss. Oh. The captain's voice turns towards you, Yevgeny. Like the Vox Grill seemingly getting a bit more of the static and mechanical nature back to it. Yes, the situation here is quite different. I, for example, am Terran equivalent 10,000 years old. The ship does not let us die. Not of old age, at least. Oh. I suppose that's... Have you experienced any moments where death should have occurred and it did not? Not yet. She's staring at Yevgeny as she asks the question. No? I don't think so. Have you seen a mountain gun randomly show up in an orc's chest at one point? . I think... Wait, did the ship do that? . Does the ship have a... penchant for intervening? Because old age is one thing, but some kind of... heroic intervention? As long as you are of use and are willing. But it will not let you die. Should death seek to eventually come, you will not die. You will simply go to the Lower Decks. . Um, and like, there's probably like an instinctive, not fear, but recoiling from the longest members of the crew, um, at like the mention of the Lower Decks. . So let us see what everaguay world Yevgeny해야 adwh carreerto. . Bem tarko baló i' optimal to prиты NYU cla . I say, I should stand, I encounter the And perhaps this might be a bit too optimistic. But our goal as traitor Astartes is to bring death to the false emperor. To win the long war and thrash the fetid Imperium between our fingers. In comparison to that, eventually mastering the curse on the carcass really doesn't seem like that out there goal now, does it? No, that is a very... That makes sense, sir. Yeah. Yeah. Don't worry. Continue to serve with me. And I can assure you that you will either have a victorious liberation from this curse or a most stupendous and memorable death. Both. Both. Ecstatic options. So let's see you smile. The thing that bugs you, Evgeny, at that statement is that the captain's voice just explained somehow that death isn't an option. Hmm. A lot of us have died. Yet. Yet. We don't know. We could die in a flashback. We have many secrets. True. True, true, true. I've traded a collar of gold for a collar of bone. Oh. Don't say it like that. Some bones are gold. There is no collar. I knew that. Byzantium. And Evgeny will pull up his upper lip. He'll see one of his teeth and replace it with a gold filling. There is no collar. There is no collar. There is no collar. There is no collar. There is no collar. There is no collar. There is no collar. A little bing! That's very nice. Thank you, I, uh, I'm proud of that one. I earned that knocking out my father. You must tell us that story! Ideally while we're all crammed in that Arvis lander that we really ought to be making our way to right about now. Statement, one of the servitors on the bridge speaks. There is a signal from the surface. It is near the equatorial band. It appears to be a welcome signal in standard imperial frequencies. What? Patch it through. Yes. On screen. Uh, it, when, when it comes through, it, there's no, um, there's no, there's no voice, but instead there's, like, a symphony playing? Um, like, a regal orchestra? I roll Occultism to see if I identify it. Like, what, what is this signifying? Yeah. I stop listening, I stop listening in case it's poison. Yeah. Any pluses? Uh, straight up, in this case. Gotcha. Looking for a 45 or under? Nope, 75. Ah, no, just, like, classical music is playing and that's what's being broadcast on this, like, standard greeting frequency. Uh, could I use a potent- and you can veto this- an awareness to potentially, uh, analyze that scan through my, uh, auspex? Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Yeah, awesome. So that's plus 20. Uh, let's roll. That is going to be a 44 with three degrees of success. Um, it is a symphony, but one of the things you notice about it is that it is, like, it, there, there is oddly a harmony and discordance at the same time in that it sounds, it's a symphony that is layered on top of itself. As the, or even multiple times. And yet, every layering on top of the original seems to still emit, like, a generally pleasing, like, not, like, a atonal, like, assault on your ears mess. Um, but something that has just been sort of folded over itself a few times and still comes out sounding pleasant. Ah. Do I, uh, do I perhaps, uh, recognize it in comparison to any other symphony? As I might be aware of. Um. As a, as a member of the Emperor's Children. I don't exactly have, like, you know, uh, like, lore composer or anything like that, but I am a Noisemarine of the Emperor's Children. Yeah, one sec. Um. One sec. Let me double check. I think. Hmm. Hmm. Tsk. Going to double check. I think. Um. It seems to be a, a composition probably from an era pre, like, M30. M30. Um. It has some tones that you would associate with the composer, uh, Bekwakinska, who was, like, a famous composer who was attached to the 28th, uh, which you did in the Great Crusade. which you did in the Great Crusade. who was, um, you know, Fulgrim's, uh, expeditionary fleet . Uh. And Bekwakinska is responsible for the presentation, the Mereveiglia, which would, uh, literally become the creation of the First Noisemarines. literally become the creation of the First Noisemarines. Yeah. Was I there for that? Um. I don't know. Were you? ... Yeah! I was there for that! Okay. Okay, cool. Yeah, yeah. You're gonna hold your secrets to the Game Master? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Roll to see it. No, no, no. So, yeah. So there's, like, there's, like, underlying, like, oh, this is, like, high... It's not the same. But it's, like, it's high flute and, like, fucking Greatest Age of Humanity-style, um, like, symphonics. Oh, you know what this reminds me of? What? We'll look at you. Uh, 23. I'm allowed to finish my sentence. Yay! Very nice. Why, it reminds me of Bekwakinska. Oh, that old sponge. My sponge. My sponge. Because she was devastating old, though quite beautiful, despite it all. One hell of a libertine. Ah, I remember her, the Meroviglia. Mostly her being ripped apart by demonettes, but goodness, what a show. The beginning of that great and terrible, terrible ecstasy I worship. Alas, it's not her. Just someone similar. Likely it means something good. Or it's to lure us into a devastating trap. Only one way to find out. But that is the inexorable march forward. Then let us go. The ground transportation is being prepared. The shuttle is being prepared. Servitor, where is my carpet? He kind of flurried down to the ground as if disgusted, like, where is it? It is undergoing cleaning. Well, hurry it up. I can't be walking around this place to our transport without my carpet. Compliance. Um. How soon will the transport be ready? In my carpet. I don't care about your carpet. Should I prioritize the transport or the carpet? Thank you. The transport. The carpet. Carpet. Yes. Thank you for voting for me. High five. High five. He breaks my hand. He's so fucking big. Oh, my fucking... Why did you do that? I put on my pants. And as you break poor Yevgeny's arm, let's take a five minute break. Yevgeny. Yevgeny! Uh, yes. Yes, Lifos. I have a question for you, Yevgeny. What is it this time? Yevgeny, it seems your Discord fucking sucks at picking you up as always. Oh, my mistake, sir. I turned down the audio registry on my Vox so that it wouldn't blow out the speakers of everybody else when it was picking up my voice. And whatever seems to be going on with this cocking technology nowadays, especially after episode whatever that was of Black Crusade, also known as Warhead, just came out of nowhere. I wonder what that could be about. Yevgeny, do you know what makes things like that work? Makes the entire world around you cold? No one will listen to the things you can touch, to the things you can feel and destroy. Uh, technology in the indomitable human spirit? No, you fool! It is for- Oh, fuck. It is for- Damn it! Let's touch the end! Fuck! It runs Foundry VTT because it is Ford's VTT, the amazing server host that allows you to basically host your own things! Isn't that right, you know, by Zanty, of which I've now changed Lifo's voice? It's just Zorin now. Everyone, I'm by Zanty! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Stop! Stop! Speakers, stop! Roll me a willpower test. You're right! You're so right! Okay, hold on. Yes! Tell us all about ZT's greatest tool of Ford's VTT. It would very much help if you were in Ford's VTT. You cannot decide if you have many T's. You cannot decide if you have many secrets. T's! Everyone's Discord is dying during this ad read. Oh no! This is the ad read. This is it. This is what you paid for. This is the one. We should send in this human spirit. No, we're not! I'm trying to get it off OBS and roll the dice! Discord's not taking you very well. Discord's not taking you very well. Discord's not taking you very well. Oh, it is throttling him. Oh, very dominable power. You can also get a better connection unlike Speaker D's connection to Discord by going to ford-vtt.com or ford-vtt.com and you can use the code DECLARATION for 10% off your first subscription for first time subscribers. Be sure to be able to potentially... Did you tell your secrets? No. What did you get? I failed my role. I cannot participate in this ad read anymore. I cannot tell anyone about the speed and conveniences. I can't talk about how with a one-click install for modules and game systems through the bazaar as well as a marketplace for maps, music, and pre-made adventures, everything you upload is duplicated across 50 servers around the world so assets load fast and everyone, which is Slanesh's favorite speed, fast. I can't tell you about any of it. So go ahead and talk to the poop boy. Sepsis. Sepsis. Sepsis. Sepsis. Sepsis. That may be the loudest ad read I think I've ever heard. So be sure to go to ford-vtt.com or look up VTT on your search engine and use DECLARATION for 10% off your first subscription for first-time subscribers. Thanks, Forge VTT, for sponsoring this show. Is this usable? You won't regret it. Well, you're about to find out. So has anyone taken any skills that let them pilot an aircraft yet? No. Not yet. I honestly thought about it, but I decided that it wouldn't be relevant. What about... Well, I got a thousand EXP from the last thing, which I got psychic powers and my psi reading up, so I don't have three. I hit things harder. That's what I do. I got the ability to boss people around. My issue with that is that it's just it's an INT skill. Something with higher INT do it. Although I do have upper-right surface vehicles. Nothing else to offer. I should pilot void ships. Can I pilot the ship, the carcass, down into the planet and crash it into it? Do you have a pilot void ship? I do. How the fuck did you learn that? For fun. You read a book. I have many scars on the inside. Where did that come from? Where did that come from? That's character gen. Okay. You just pick one of the three, and it's like, yeah, that might be useful. I don't know. Hulky, Hulky, come into my office. Oh, fuck, guys. Hold on, I'm in trouble again. No. Sending him to the principal's office. Closing the door. Hold on. Come on in. Thanks for closing the door. Please take a seat. Yep, I'm pulling my seat up. Do you want to see me again? Am I getting fired today? No, no, no, no, no. Nothing like that. It looks here on your application form, you put down pilot void ship, right? Yeah, that's correct. Okay. You know, I don't know if you knew this, but at the time of your application, there was actually a government grant going on. Uh-huh. Yeah. So you could actually trade that in. Did you know this? I know. First, I didn't know that at all. They have those things. You can just trade it into something you know. This was at the time, I'm gonna honor this deal because you know, it makes sense. So I'm gonna allow you to take, operate Aeronautica, which I think is gonna be a bit more valuable in your current situation. If you wanna take that offer, you can. I'm just saying that in your current tax bracket, you're probably not gonna be operating the void ship with the weird fucking captain blob thing that does all of that for you. Whereas really, the Arvis Lighter needs a solid pilot. So, would you like to update your tax forms? What's the penalty if I don't update my tax forms? Just out of curiosity. It's a hypothetical. Oh, if you don't, then you're just, you're gonna, you're gonna you know, not get the deal and the offer. And then I guess you'll have to see if there's an ever relevant point to, in this campaign to operate a void ship. Here I was, I was looking through all of your notes. I'll be transparent with you, I did peek a little bit further ahead, and I was thinking you know what, eventually we're gonna get to that point where we're gonna heroically crash a Blackstone Fortress into a planet. That's gonna be the climax of the campaign. But, you know what? Got some bad news for you there, boss. Battlefleet Gothic 2 put that into their game. Fuck! Do they really? Abaddon has all of the fortresses, so I'll hire the assistant. Oh, of course he fucking does, cause he's Abaddon! Of course he has all of the Get the fuck out of my office! This is poor talking sensitive tax information! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! No, don't I hate, don't I hate Begor? You're back in the producer hole. Why does he look like that now? I don't know. He doesn't see sunlight anymore, that's part of the problem. Anyways, so I just wanna, I wanted to let I wanted to let you know about the deal. If you choose not to take it, that's fine, it's fine. You know what, I mean, Thurston, you're a very convincing sales person. You know I love a good deal. Yeah. Would you take that deal? I'd take that deal. You're not gonna take that fucking deal, are you? I, no, I'm going to take that deal. Oh, okay, excellent, excellent, well. Thurston, I don't want you to turn into a warped entity, I mean, I I can out-captain the captain, but not yet. Yeah, that's fair, that's fair, okay, thanks, thanks, let's shake hands, shake hands, look at the camera, smile, nod, nod, okay, cool, thank you, yep, head back. So I know how to pilot an Arvis lighter, by the way. Are you good at it? Cool. Yes. The very best I'm scared of one to a hundred, how good are you? Give me an Operate Aeronautica with a plus thirty, Hulky. Please don't fail. I want that to be a hundred so bad. Yeah, buddy! Oh my fucking god! You know, Lifehost, I'd say I'm about a ninety-four out of a hundred on that scale. I'll give or take, like, a margin of error of two. And there's, we're about to fucking crash into goddamn New York skyline. Didn't say that was the piloting check, so at least we have another chance to die horribly. Hey, Speaker? Yeah? Will you come into my office? Come on in. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Awesome, awesome, awesome. It's nice in here, yep. Appreciate it. God. You know... Yeah? No, this just isn't right. Speaker, get out. What? But I love your office. Get out. Go. I run out screaming and I slam the door. Okay. Erndell, can you come into my office for a second? Oh, what is it now? So, uh, sit down. Thanks for coming. Uh-huh. So you saw that ninety-four, right? I did. That was rolled. Okay. So I want to talk to you about new characters. What were you thinking? Mmm, I mean, you just said that die... caught me. You've caught me in a... in a fine... You didn't think I was paying attention, did you? If I could give you a hero point right now, I would. Like, we've been over this before where, like, especially I'm going to roll back to Pictern on this, like, yeah, Baldrick was aware of that. He just didn't want to say nothing and he didn't feel the need to because more and more shit was going on. I was watching, man. I got... I got eyes! I got ears! So... As Evgeny is absolutely distracted... We're out of the office scene now. As Evgeny is absolutely distracted from piloting the Arvis Lighter to tell you how he can pilot aeronautica craft... I thought we were just doing it for the funny. Yeah, but you rolled a ninety-four. Yeah! You failed terribly. This is a serious campaign. Yeah, this is a very serious campaign. I'm so sorry, Zoran. I'll lock you. I'll be more serious. Yeah, lock the fucking champ. So it's... Because Urndel is a champ, it's Cephas's hand that, like, manages to hit the, uh... Oh, wait. Never mind. Oh, God. Oh, God. I realized something. Okay. Yeah. It's, like, Cephas's hand reaching through the doorway to the back compartment where you're all packed in, like, sardines. Cephas's hand manages to adjust the, like, the control stick just enough to make you avoid crashing into a lunar crater edge that, like, you were being taken right towards. Can I describe that, if I may, Thurston, very briefly? Yes. Please. I won't take up a bunch of time. Please. Evgeny, you are attempting to move the flight controls so that you do not crash painfully and perilously. It's the most mortal and terrifying thing you can imagine is hurtling towards you through your death as you are spiraling through the atmosphere. And then a big, foul, dripping metal hand gently moves past your ear with the deafness of a thousand cats, and it extends a single finger and pushes the flight control stick. Left. And then we avoid dying narrowly. If you're going to kill us, try aiming more dead centers so I can't just fix that. Oh. I wasn't trying to do that. Would you like me to tempt fate, sir? I would rather you not, unless it is somehow being told to you by our grandfather. If Lifos could smile. He's always smiling. We really gotta get us some fucking airplanes. I'm jonesing, man. I'm jonesing for a fighter, man. We cannot keep doing this. If we were in a dread claw, this would be nothing. This would be literally nothing, but it's not. What do you mean? What do you mean a dread claw? That's a boarding action. I miss being shot down in the drop pod. I miss being shot down in the drop pod. Thurston, give me 150 experience right now. I'll take fucking navigation. I give up. No, Thurston, let me make another check. I could do it better that time. Now I'm locked in, I'm serious. Please not on roll 100. Please. I'm gonna let you do I'm gonna let you do another check. This time, however, it's not at plus 30. Okay. You're doing it with a plus 20. Okay. Thurston. It's a little harder. Can I propose something to you? Okay. If I get more than two degrees of failure, I get fucked by the G-Force and I pass out. I'll accept that. Perfect. Thank you. Yes, I will take that one-sided bargain. Excellent. Glory to the dark gods. Let's roll. Thank you. That's an eight. That's an eight. Okay. Much better. Evgeny just adjusts his captain's beret. Leans back in the seat a little bit. All expression just drains from his face. He's locked the fuck in. Never has there flown a more deftly-handed pilot in the aeronautica than Evgeny Prendergast. And you're just hitting this descent with such pristine, nay, epic, navigatory might. Well, it might even bring a tear to a seasoned pilot's eye. Sephys is standing behind him. He might be in for a little bit of chomp. Hulky? Yeah? I want you to read this quote for me. Yeah, sure. The difference between gods and demons depends largely upon where one stands at the time. And how tall of the word-bearers. Cool. So you manage to avoid going directly into the swarm of several hundred chaos furies, the winged lesser demons of the Pantheon, as they burst up like a flock of ravens into your view. Hundreds of them. Now, Sephys will be unaffected, but Evgeny, give me your willpower to plus ten. Oh, sure. I like making willpower tests, Thurston. I know you do. It's kind of a staple in this campaign. It is. Hey, that's pretty good. That's a fifteen with five degrees of success. Also, the previous test, eight degrees of success. Eight is my number, remember this. You see a swarm of winged demons the size of teenagers flapping with bat-like wings, moving almost like a liquid in the sky. You've managed to pull the Arvus around to avoid them, but they seem to be reacting to your presence, moving towards you. You have some time before they will be in range or anything like that. Do you communicate this to your companions? Also, I need to I need you to understand the cockpit and, like, situation here. Yeah, sure. It's important that we understand the scaling here. This is a modified Arvus lighter. I'll drop it into our general Discord chat for audio listeners. But you can see that there's really only enough room for one humanoid human-sized pilot. The rest of you are packed like sardines in the back of the Arvus together. So, like, it's difficult, say, for any of you to be able to look out and see what's going on, except for one, which currently is Cephas. But yeah, you're getting How are you informing your companions? Let's go. Back all over the comm system. Attention, passengers. This is your pilot speaking. Just wanted to let you know that we might be in for a little bit of turbulence. If you aren't strapped in, please return to your seated positions and fasten yourselves in or maglock yourselves to the floor. Have fun. I thought it was cracking over at his pack of nots. It fucking sucks, bro. Can I... I know that there is only space for one person in the cockpit, like, at all. And one current marine who can look in through the cockpit. Yeah, so my point in bringing that up, can Cephas like, keep his bolter at the ready and just, like, hang onto a guard rail or something so he can assist Evgeny for when, inevitably, a Fury is going to break through the glass to try and kill him? Yes, you can keep your bolter at the ready. Alright, he will do that, then. I would like a bigger proposal. Sorry to interrupt you. I'm sorry. No, no, I do just want to, like, clarify. So, Evgeny, you've not actually explained any of the threat, and it's just Cephas who's seen it. Okay. Perfect. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Without that context, I can't act on it yet, so, as far as Lyphos knows, nothing's wrong. It's just, like, elevator music and, like, Byzantine Lyphos and Bethael and, like, I'm assuming that it's, like, Biscuit to, um, Byzante and Bethael. He's like, hm? He's like, I can't even guess. But in, but in actual series terms, he's just sitting there. He's just meditating. It's not a Bisc off. It's a Bis scoring because it's Chaos. Yeah. Oh, God. Byzante's just got that classical music from earlier on blast, in his eardrums at max volume. Literally rattling around his skull. Correct. Bethael is like sitting between Lyphos and Byzante looking very uncomfortable. Everybody is very close together back here. Yep. Why are our shoulder pads so big? As you say that exact question Byzante, the swarm has maneuvered around. Evgeny, you can give me another of those lovely aeronautica checks. Operate aeronautica to try to dodge out of the way of the incoming swarm. You can do this at plus 20 once again. Okay. Alright. Yep. Let's see what happens. Okay. 39. Five degrees of success. It's pretty, it's pretty good. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. Um, everyone starts to feel like, like not high G maneuvers, but like stark maneuvers that are definitely like rattling the, uh, the shuttle around. Enough of you have combat drop experience to know that this is not norm. Like you're not having a calm descent at this point. Is in trouble? What is the issue? Yeah. Wait, what he said? I don't know. I don't know. He said, I'm like, Seth. This is bulk is blocking any of you from seeing into the car. Yeah, we can't see anything. No, that's for the best. Close enough. Yeah. Seth is being closest to the cockpit. You can hear from the comms headset that getting has on under the beret. The faint tinny din of kickstart, my heart playing. He's just completely zen. Don't, don't make me do that. Don't hang on. Keep it. Keep, keep the scene going. Okay. So my father, W2 MP3... Oh, let's go! Oh, I know what you're doing. Cool. Keep it going. That's sick. Evgeny is just moving deftly around these swarms of Furies, trying not to intentionally mulch them in the engines. Okay, so the swarm comes around again. This time, they're coming at you with their tearing claws. As they do so, Evgeny, you have one more chance to dodge with a plus 20. Ooh! Oh, can I make a dodge action? Operate Aeronautica is your next aim for dodge. Yeah, you're gonna have to dodge with plane. Yeah, you're dodging with plane. My famous plane-dodging ability. That is a 42 of 4 degrees of success. You once again manage to dodge. You are breaking through towards this equatorial band of the planet, again, avoiding something. Some of the miasmic, multicolored storms, and going along the equatorial band at high speeds, kind of dodging and weaving around lunar craters. As you are doing this ducking, dodging, and weaving around the lunar craters here, the swarm is sort of breaking apart, maneuvering. There's chittering. Like, in the back, you can all start to hear, like, reverberations and, like, thunking sounds on the hull. I haven't, like, landed, but something's, like, tapping up against, like, maybe, like, like, rocks. But, Evgeny, you would have enough to know that it's actually you just kind of, like, dodging away from these, uh, these Furies and hitting them on the hull, rather than giving them a chance to purchase with their claws. Ooh, ooh, got to try a little bit harder than that, friends. Come on. Come on, give me a real challenge. Uh... Uh... Uh... They pass up into, like, almost like a, uh, a ball in front of you, like, darkening the area, um, and the horizon of multicolored vistas. Uh, and they come at you with another vicious array of claws. Um... Just gonna do... this here. Um, and they... they miss as they... as they do so. Uh, again, sort of, like, not even you dodging. They're just sort of, like, whiffing themselves. Um, but you realize that in order for you to break through, you're gonna have to move around them. So you're gonna have to give me one more Operator Aeronautica, a plus 10. Ooh, that's... that's asking a lot. Fuck it. All right. I know, we're getting there, we're getting there, we're getting there. It's getting harder. But... It's gonna be a 43.5. It's gonna be a 43.5. 33.5. It was a 43.5. It was a 43.5. It's gonna be a 43.5. It's gonna be a 43.5. It was a 43.5. It's gonna be a 43.5. It's gonna be a 43.5. It's gonna be a 43.5. It's gonna be a 43.5. So... So, you have a 3 with 3 degrees of success. That Mast Ball makes that plastic exterior on Evgeny's face turn to a look of, oh shit, quickly replaced by a wicked, wide, and sinister grin, as he banks hard left to get around this Mast form. Alright, and... and all of you are now feeling this, and you can tell that the Swarm is getting together for another strike where they're really, like, just kind of trying to catch up, and all right and and all of you are now feeling this and you can tell that the swarm is getting together for another strike where they're really like just kind of trying to catch up to you now trailing from behind flying in at intense speeds um kind of putting all of their effort into it here um let's see if they can hit you oh they most definitely do that they do eight degrees of success on a two on the dice uh as this swarm kind of comes against you have one last chance to operate aeronautica to dodge but it's going to be a flat check this time fuck all right oh oh no four degrees of failure hey hulk is this an opportune time for me to complete this this joke there it is in the general chat oh it's fucking awesome i'm waiting for a definite explosion time for suffering no all right here's what here's what you need to here's what needs to happen okay um um urndale yeah i need you to target the big token in the middle of the screen you got it and take a bolter shot all right i'm gonna schust it with my gun it's going to be at a plus uh it's gonna be point blank for this so okay uh so we are at so let's see it's a point blank yep that's gonna be funny with a bolter but hey sure whatever yep would you allow me to aim uh yeah yeah in this case i'll allow sure half action aim going for it uh fire on it 74 but i still hit oh it's because my target is uh 98 so you know that's fine whatever yeah you smash into it roll damage please blasted him you know 11 11 causes this thing to sort of like wheel back it's it's clawing like like it's clawed at the glass your bolter shell breaks through the glass um or the like you know plasteel um which causes this thing to recoil off the shattering of it sends it flying away however that's when you notice something cephas yeah calling a hulkies he failed that last check by more than two degrees so evgeny has temporarily lost consciousness all right cephas is gonna wedge his upper torso through the door and grab the flight stick with one hand and continue aiming the bolter out of the newly created hole uh absolutely um please give me oh what what is uh give me a cephas give me an operator uh uh uh uh I don't know what you're talking about uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh okay okay okay okay And then, please give me another shot with the bolter targeting the creatures. Okay, we're gonna try that again. Cephas grabs the fucking flight stick, continuing to aim the bolt gun forward. You don't get to aim for this shot. You will not get to aim for this shot. I mean, aiming in the traditional sense. He's pointing it that way. Still point blank? Uh, yep. Okay. Blast him. 81. 81. Still hits. Still a success. Roll damage. Let's, let's, let's, come on. Play nice. That's one more than before. 11 again. Uh, the second, another one of them comes, like, clawing towards Evgeny's form, and as your hand is sort of over Evgeny, moving the, moving the console stick, and then a second bolt shell rings out as you send the other one. It's cumbling back. And with that, you manage to bring the vessel. To, to a, to an abrupt, um, exit from within the swarm, which seems to back off. As up ahead, you, you can see that there is a, that there is a valley of sorts, a lunar valley, on which is an impressive palace. Um, the swarm dissipates around as this occurs. Um, and you can see that, yes, up ahead, there is this, um, strange castle. But the castle is, like, it, it's outer edges are covered in fine mirrors. So it's reflecting the surface of the world at various odd angles. The mirrors themselves are not, um, kept at any one size or stature, so it gives, like, this discordant look to it as you stare at it. Um, but you, you see it, and realize that this is, this is your destination, based off of what you can, like, scooch over and, like, kind of loom over Evgeny's unconscious swarm to see the sensorium readouts on the vessel. Um, and as you sort of, like, pull the vessel out, one hand on the console, the other, like, with your bolter ready in case anything comes, you can, you, you, you can tell that Evgeny is now regaining consciousness. Yeah. So he just has a, a looming foul figure grasping the flight control and aiming a powerful bolt gun through the hole in the windscreen. You do know that there's, like, a discordant enough moment where, like, you see his hands move, and it's clear Evgeny is, like, fallen unconscious, but is still in the moment. So, like, I, I give you the option here of, do you let Evgeny think he was a complete badass and handled this himself? Or, do you keep your hand there to make Evgeny know? I'm going to very much put him in his place and show him the power of Nurgle. The power of resilience. Yeah, Evgeny, you sort of come up from this, like, stupor, your hand, like, like, like, still in the moment, because you don't even realize you've fallen unconscious temporarily. Um, and you, what you see is, like, where your hand should be. You're, you're moving it back to, but there's, like, a massive, ceramite gauntlet-weeping fluid in the way. Oh, I've bulked jigs like that quite some time. As if Cephas was yelling at ornery traffic on the road, he will shout at the Furies as they part ways. You have not been ordained. But as he sees us, like, perilously plummeting towards the, uh, the landing pad. Though gravity may be... Ah, Evgeny, you're awake. Take control now. You've got it. Thank you, boss. Evgeny. And Evgeny will snap back to consciousness. What are we gonna do? Operate test at plus 20. Otherwise, you will crash the Arvis. Fuck. Please, this is our Arvis. Can you dig it? 31. Five degrees of success. Bam, baby. Consciousness, the blood comes back. Evgeny's out of G-lock. And he thinks Cephas is such a fucking badass for what he's just done and kept it going one-handed. And he pulls it back up, narrowly avoiding us, plummeting headlong and crashing into our destination. Oh! The shattering of the creatures breaking off from you. You see the, like, a bat swarm sort of dissipated. But you manage to not only land it, but do a, like, a cool turnaround that puts the rear of the vessel and the exit hatch facing towards your destination with the forest Ardis in the back as the hatch comes down. You finally see through the opening hatchway and, like, over Evgeny's tortured exhalations of waking consciousness and pain. Um, the sight of the Palace of Mirrors. Ugh. Ugh. Oh. What the hell was happening over there? I thought we were going through a rock storm or something. Furies. Only... untold numbers of... Furies? Yeah, that's what they were. Ah! They miss. Doing damn well up until I... upheld the little one too many Gs. She locks a bitch. But Cephas, oh! God! That was amazing! I mean, I was terrified. I was... Horrific, but... Fucking hell, man! That was fantastic work! Cephas, roll me a d3. Oh, dear. What is a d3? Two. Cephas, you gained two infamy. Epic moment there. Fuck, uh... Evgeny, roll me a d3. Sure. Give him a three. Fuck. Evgeny, you gained one corruption from that entire affair. Yeah, I figured. Cool. You're gonna love being a spawn, Evgeny. It's gonna be fantastic. No! You'll be losing at Avion's. You won't ask yourself anything at all very soon. And with the thoughts of Evgeny rolling to become a spawn in the Palace of Mirrors before you, that is where we're gonna call today's episode. Yay! Fuck yeah! Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of A Chaos Odyssey. Please follow everyone's stuff down in the descriptions and stuff below. Follow their socials and all their amazing projects. We have been your group here at Narrative Declaration. Please support us at NarrativeDeclaration.com for Patreon, merch, all that other stuff, and to also say hi. You know, leave a comment down below. Also check us out on podcasts, stuff like that. Love you guys so very much. We will see you next time. Goodbye! Goodbye! Yay! Bye! Bye! Yay!