Latest / Gil I Am / He Died for 40 Minutes - What He Saw Will Change You Forever Part 2

Transcript

He Died for 40 Minutes - What He Saw Will Change You Forever Part 2 · Gil I Am

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: The two doctors that were there were going to go
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: tell my family I was dead. He came to the
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: house after I got well you were gray, you were dead,
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: He said, we didn't save you. What happened?
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Welcome to prioritize your life and prioritize yourlife dot com.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: I am excited to be here today with David Biholt.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: As usual with me, I don't know anything about your experience.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: I just have a couple of close friends that said
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: you have to get him here, and it sounds like
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: it felt right timing wise for you. So I'm excited
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: to talk and hear all about your experience.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: I'm excited to be here. I am. I couldn't always
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: say that, could It would have scared me, but don't anymore.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah all right, well yeah, I'd love to hear all
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: about it.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: So you ready?
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: All right? Well. I always like to start out with
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: my early life because without that it doesn't give you
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: a bro of really what happened and a ton of
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: chaos in my life, a lot of really hard things.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I was abused from a close male friend for several years.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I mean I'm talking from sexually to just physically spiritually.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: And he said if you say anything, you know, we'll
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: blow up your house. And it's all your fault. You're
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: being punished for these things. I was so confused by
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: what things were. And then I went on a scout camp.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: We went up one of those canyons that are the
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: you know, where they funnel into nothing and you can
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: look up and there's two hundred feet They're beautiful. But
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: we went. I was with the scout master and we
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: went up there and the voice told me, Dave, you
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: need to run to the tree you saw. You can't wait.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: And there's five kids and the scout master and me,
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: and he said, you can't wait. You can't tell them.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: You can tell them once you run to that tree.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: And it was such as pure. I knew the voice,
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: and it wasn't a booming voice, just a sweet voice.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: And I just picked his little the kids behind me,
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: and put him on the other side of me. That's
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: how narrow it was, and ran to that tree. As
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: soon as I got to the tree, I could hear
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: like a whistle and like a fraight tree coming. And
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: this wind was blown so hard it was like a hurricane.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: And then the water came, and boulders and rubbish came
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: and I had climbed up high on the bank. It's
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: the only place that winded out, and there was one
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: tree that stuck out there. I went up there and
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: I wrapped my legs around that tree. Told me what
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: to do. And then I saw a kids shoot out
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: and just kind of shot towards me. And he came by,
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: and I was screamed for him, reached my hand, grabbed
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: my hand and it was so loud, and I saw
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: his eyes as he went by, missed him by about
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: two and a half feet, and then he gurgled down
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: in the water, and I knew he was gone. Another
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: kid shoots out and this kid, I'm screaming harder to
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: get you gotta swim anyway. Kid after kid. That the
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: last kid that came, I screamed to him and I
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: went out as far as I coult on the tree
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: and held onto the tree, and he came by. I
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: looked at him just like I'm looking you in the eye,
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: and I missed. I had to touch his hand now,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: and he's looking at it. I knew I was watching
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: him die. And he wings by, and then the scout
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: master comes that by. He's a big guy and he
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: gets to me, he and he gets to me and
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: I we even throw him in the tree, and he
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: was spent, and so I tied him in the tree
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: with my belt because he couldn't sit there. As fast
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: as the water went up, it cameent down, and I
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: ran out to get help. And as I went out,
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: there was a boot sticking out, and I just thought
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: it was a boot. I went to grab it, and
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: there was a foot in it. All the rest was
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: under the mud. I went down further and I could
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: see some fingers. I mean, it was so traumatizing and
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: so here I'd seen all these miracles, but I could
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: do nothing to save them. I got nothing, And then
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: I could never figure out God's there, But you let
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: this happen, and it's to me, and you couldn't even
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: I saved one out of them, and then I got
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: a medal. They gave me this medal it and I
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: took that metal home and I pounded it into oblivion
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: and burned it through the way. Who gets a medal
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: for what people die? Why would I get a medal?
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: And I mean, I buried that so deep. I didn't
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: remember that for a long time, and I just wouldn't wouldn't.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to deal with it, and so things
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: like that happened. I would have these miracles kind of happen,
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: and I had my in my life. I was I
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: got married, I had two wives and both of them
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: got killed, and so I have five amazing kids that
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: they had to have gone through hell and back with me.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: I had these amazing, just unbelievable things happened, and things
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: that I knew God was there. But then I had
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: these such traumatic things that I thought, either I don't
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: deserve them, or I'm not worth it, or too dumb
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: to get it. And so I got I don't know
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: if you say bitter, but I was just lost. I'm
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: sixty five. I'll be sixty five on the eighth of
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: this month. And I got into drugs really late in life.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: I was forty five fifty and my wives were taken
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: and I was on my own. What does a single
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: man in the church. There's no none of it made
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: any sense to me anymore and didn't work it so
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: and I was well. I was a landscaper, great designer.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: I had I had all the toys, huge house, corvettes, boats,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: I had all the toys, all the things that should
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: have made you happy, But none of that did much
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: for me. And I got into drugs. And it's funny
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: because you just start down this little gate in the
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: drug path, and I was just trying to numb myself,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: I realized now. But that spiraled me into such a horrible,
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: horrible place. And I even my parents' family ever tried
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: to get me right, you know, get me into rehabs,
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: and I'd be cleaned for a couple of years, and
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: then somehow I would get sucked back in. And each
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: each time you go back in, you're going quicker, deeper
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: and worse off. And so I was to the point
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: where I lost everything. I had, all the money, even
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: even I was living with Shrianne and Michael again. My
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: poor sister got stuck with me, and I was I'd
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: lie about every I was the best liar on the planet.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: I could sell you ice cubes if we were living
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: in the Last Game, and I stole from them. I
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: stole gun I stole hairlooms of theirs, everybody I did.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: My kids all called me Dave. Because I wasn't a dad.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: I didn't deserve to be called dad. They called me Dave,
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: and no one would have wanted to see me coming
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: because I was going to take something. I was going
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: to lie to them and just to see who I
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: was and what I had become. And I then call
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: it my destiny of the stop signal God stoplight. They
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: put a new stop flight in where I drove home,
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: and if you it was one of those, you had
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: to stop at the stop to turn and then wait
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: till it went green. You couldn't go right on the
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: They changed it to that, but not me. I went
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: right on through, so I got pulled over and I
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: tried to lie my way to that. But by that
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: time I had like twenty five warrants, bench warrants and things,
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: not anything violent or anything more, was drug paraphernalia and
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: just stupid things. I didn't have a driver's license for
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: like fifteen years, so I just kept getting tickets, tickets, tickets,
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  Speaker 1: So it got to be where it was thousands and
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: thousands of dollars on all these warrants and everything, and
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: then it got to be where I was not bailable.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: They were going to make me bill with all that.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: I mean, there were so many of them, and I
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: was in every drug. My drug debt was about three
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: thousand a month at least. I was pillaging and robbing
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: to get that, so I get taken to JEL. On
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: the first day in jail, my blood pressure was so
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: high that they actually sent me to the real hospital
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: because it was so high they were worried something was
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: going to happen. And on the way back, two kids
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: were my dealers or whatever that took me, and they
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: were flirting and I got out of the van. It
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: was dark, and I tripped over a curb and I
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: was shackled at around my waist to my wrist and
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: then my feet, so I had no way of catching myself.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: I just had to turn and hit the curb with
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: my back and I was laying there and another guard
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  Speaker 1: coming in for his ship picked me up and took
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: me in and it shut such tingles and stuff up
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: and down my back. I couldn't walk. My legs would
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: give out after that, and they all thought I was
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: faking something or whatever. They were like, you just got
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: back from from the hospital, You're not going again. And
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: they knew I was on drugs and stuff, so they
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: just thought a lot of it was withdrawing and I
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: don't want to get in too much of how horrible.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: The jel is but what you think it is is
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: not what it is. It's as bad as any jell
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: you see in a foreign country. You get no help whatsoever, none,
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: And I hit so pard. I was black and blue
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: from my shoulder blades all the way down to my feet.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: Black is black. And I had this big open sore
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: and the get they won't even look. They won't even
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: look at it. You had to fill out this kite
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: thing to have them look. Every morning they come in
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: and say physical trauma or whatever, and if you don't
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: get there in time, they just walk out. And I
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: had to fill it out right well. They had lost
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: my glasses at the hospital, so I could not see
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: to fill it out. And I try to fill it out.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: I went to hand it to the girl one day
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: and she says it's not right. Tore it up and
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: throw up my face and I'm an excruciating pain. I
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: didn't know at the time. I know now I had
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: a heart attack. I couldn't walk. I walked into the joe,
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: but now I had to have a wheelchair for them
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: to get me around. And I was sick. I was withdrawing,
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: There's no question about it. I was throwing up this
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: black kind of bile and I had to crawl to
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: the bathroom. And after being in there about thirty days
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: of trying to get help, didn't get looked at by
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: a doctor. No one would look at me. Nobody would
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: help me because I couldn't fill that out right, and
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: they'd say, that's not my problem. And my family would
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: come to even try to help, but they would tell
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: them I didn't want to see them because I couldn't
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: get to the window. So they said I rejected their visit,
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: which was all not true. And I mean, I was
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: suffering and I had done a lot of things, so
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: I deserved to be in jail. I got all of that,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: but I didn't think I deserved to die in jail.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: And so it got after being in there about thirty
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: days or so, I finally got to I was so
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: upset and hurting so bad, and I would I would
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: get if I stood up, I would pass out. And
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: the crazy thing is the only compassion I got in
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: there was from the the other inmates. The only thing
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: that you can't tell what you're eating, they have to
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: tell you what it is. And my bunk mate his
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: job in the in the cafeteria was to cut the
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: maggots out of the potatoes and then we ate them.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: That's what's his job was. And I got food poisoning,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: so if I smelt something coming, I would throw up.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: I lost forty five pounds forty forty five pounds in
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: there because I could not eat, couldn't. It was so
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: got awful, and I finally got to be I was
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: so weak and I told one of the guards, give
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: me a bullet or get me help. So then and
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: she didn't get me any kind of help. They put
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: me in the nutboard house in the deal which don't
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: ever go to nuthole. You don't ever want to be
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: in that part. And what that means is you get
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: and there was a whole bunch of guards there, and
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: the nurses were there. When they put you in the
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: end take of that, you get stripped naked. They do
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: the cavity, say all those nasty things. And that's when
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: they saw my wounds open and I can't walk and
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: the big oozing sores and you're naked. And the guy said, wow,
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: look at that. Maybe we need to do something. And
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: this was like eight or nine o'clock at night, and
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: she said, well, there's no doctor here, we can't do anything.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Lot to just wait till morning, and they just throw
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: me in its butt It eight by sell. It's a
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: metal bed. It's freezing. There are no blankets. It's like
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: you get this canvas thing that you're those old time
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: tents would be made out of. That you can't give
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: you no warmth and it's so hard around you. You
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: don't want to. That's all you have, and then you
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: get bread and water three times a day. They're basically
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: just punishing you so you'll never say you have anything
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: mental again, so they don't have to deal with you.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: Best Liken surmise. I'm sitting in there, naked a jaybird,
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: freezing my butt off, sitting on this cold slab and thinking,
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: is this what I have become? Is this what I am?
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: I had been given so many wonderful things, and this
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: is what I have become? And I was so mentally
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: racked and just I had no one to help me.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: My family would have helped me, but they couldn't even
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: get at me. And their best solution for me was
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: to leave me in jail to where they at least
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: knew I was saying. They thought, and it's what I needed.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: That's how bad off it really was. And everybody would
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: have hoped that that would make me better or well.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: But if somebody had to bet when I was able
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: to ever get out of jail, if I would have
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: been off drugs, not one person would have said, because
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: that's how bad I was. They all had tried many times,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: rehab everything that they possibly could, and it got so
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: bad that I prayed and I prayed, and I said, God,
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: you owe me nothing, nothing, I said, I mocked you
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: basically my whole life. I had everything. I saw you
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: you owe me nothing, but please, please just let me die.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: I said, this is hell. Hell cannot be worse than this.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: Please just let me die. This square head wasn't going
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: that round metal toilet thing to even get that done.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Couldn't even get that done. And I don't know how
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: long I prayed where I was freezing and sick is sick,
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: and I'm praying and I'm I can't get Have you
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: ever been where you can get no help? There's no
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: man that can help, there's nobody that can help you.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: And I had done it myself. I had ruined my life.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: I had ruined every person that would love to help me.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: I had made it impossible and I hated me. I
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: wanted nothing to do with me. And I'm sitting there thinking,
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: how did you let this happen? How did you go
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: from that to this? And I'm just praying and I'm praying.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: I was physically, mentally, spiritually tormented, tormented, and I could
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: have had it so much different, but I didn't. And
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: I'm sitting there praying and praying and praying, and all
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: of a sudden, my dad is there, and my dad
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: had been dead for seven years, and he's right in
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: my face, you know, just like you, that close. And
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: he tells me, you look like crap, Dave. You really
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: look awful. And he said, your mom's waiting outside, but
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: she couldn't even stand to see you come in and
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: see you. You look so awful. She's dead also, And he said,
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: we worked really really hard to get you in here. Honestly,
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: I was pissed. I was thinking, can you not I'm
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: on desk doorstep and you're telling me he worked really
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: really hard to get me in here. And he said,
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: we tried so many ways to help you. All us did.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: We did everything we could to make you, help, get
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: you right, help you figure out your addiction in your life,
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: and you wouldn't have it, dude, you wouldn't do it.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: There's nothing you would have. And he said, this is
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: kind of yet, this is your choice. And I'm here.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: I know I love you. I know you can do this.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: I know you're better than this, that you were made
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: to be much more than this. I know you can
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: do this. And I said I I will leave now,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: but you you can get better. And as he left,
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: he left, and as I'm sitting there just praying again
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: to die because I was so sick and so rock,
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: I got hit with a beam of light that was
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: like a pointer, like a laser light. And I looked
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: and it hit me right kind of on the head,
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: and it was hot. It was going to burn because
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: it got hotter and hotter. And as I looked at it,
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: before long, Christ was there. Christ himself, not not in
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: some vision, don't sub dream, the Lord himself was right there,
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: this close to my face, and he's looking at me
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: with those eyes that just go right through you. And
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: he looks at me and he says, and I knew
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: it was And I said, why would you come for
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: a piece of crap like me? Why would you come
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: here for me? And he said, Dave, I've been here
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: the whole time. I'd just been waiting for you to
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: accept me and look to me, and for you to
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: fulfill what I know you can be and what I
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: built you to be. I made you. I know who
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: you are, I know what you're to do, and I
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: love you. I always love you. And he said, I
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: know things look really bleak. No, you have no hope.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: It was I was hopeless, and you don't think you're
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: worth anything, but I think you're I know what you're
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: to do, and I knew you would have these lows,
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: and I sent you angels. I sent you the elade
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: of God to be around you when you were a week,
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: to carry you so you could make it to where
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: you and I and by then I was at least
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: free the drugs. And I would I know it's up
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: my knees and I would just grabbing his ankles. I
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: could see his wood to this beet. I just said,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: I'm too I'm too far gone. And he says, I
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: know what you've done. He said, I know why you
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: did what you did. And he says, you can be
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: saved through me, And I know you can do this,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: but it's your choice. You can choose to have what
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: you have and live what you have, or you can
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: ask for help and you can be one with me,
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: and us together can make your life be the most
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: unbelievable thing that you can't even imagine what that would be.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: And I told him