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#2010 My New Favourite Episode - Jane O'Brien · The You Project

0:00
Speaker 1: I get atam. It's a bloody you project. What else
0:02
Speaker 1: would it be? Who else would it be? It's me,
0:04
Speaker 1: Craig Anthony Harper. I hope this finds you great. I'm
0:08
Speaker 1: super excited today. And I say things like that often,
0:11
Speaker 1: but I do get excited easily. But I am genuinely
0:13
Speaker 1: excited today because a friend of mine who I have
0:16
Speaker 1: not seen for a long time. So when I say friend,
0:20
Speaker 1: I'm definitely the shit friend of the relationship. She's the
0:22
Speaker 1: great friend in the relationship. I've been somewhat negligent. I
0:25
Speaker 1: own that. I own my negligence. I'm going to do better.
0:30
Speaker 1: We used to work together, we worked in radio together.
0:32
Speaker 1: We've been friends for probably over twenty years. And to
0:36
Speaker 1: say through to say that Jane O'Brien has been through
0:40
Speaker 1: something of a challenging decade or two is like saying
0:48
Speaker 1: the Melbourne weather can be a little bit fickle. Jane
0:51
Speaker 1: has been all over the place medically and emotionally and practically,
0:56
Speaker 1: and she's here and she's a winner, and she's one
0:59
Speaker 1: of my favorite people, and she's an inspiration. And she'll
1:02
Speaker 1: hate all of that because she's very self deprecating and evasive.
1:06
Speaker 1: And also I will say up front because of what
1:09
Speaker 1: she's been through medically, her voice is not as loud
1:13
Speaker 1: and annoying as my voice, So you might have to
1:15
Speaker 1: lean into the speakers a little bit because she's had
1:20
Speaker 1: she had a few things done to that throat area
1:23
Speaker 1: that have probably impacted the old vocals.
1:25
Speaker 2: Hi, Janie Pleasure, it is to see you once again.
1:30
Speaker 1: Are you all right? How are you?
1:32
Speaker 2: I'm well, we're gone soaring.
1:35
Speaker 1: I'm sorry it's been a while. How long? Now, let's
1:40
Speaker 1: just backtrack a little bit. You and I worked on
1:45
Speaker 1: Melbourne's Positive alternative eighty nine point nine Light FM one
1:48
Speaker 1: hundred and two years ago. We did a show on
1:51
Speaker 1: Saturdays called the Grand Standards. Because you are an exercise
1:54
Speaker 1: physiologist and I inhabit the exercise space and fitness space
1:59
Speaker 1: a little bit myself and sporting space or I did. Firstly,
2:03
Speaker 1: how long did we do that show? And what are
2:06
Speaker 1: some memories that you have of that show?
2:10
Speaker 2: Our show lasted I think about eight years, which I
2:13
Speaker 2: think is quite a long time in radio, wasn't it
2:16
Speaker 2: was once a week every Saturday? Oh memories? Look, I
2:20
Speaker 2: could say there's just this, There's so many I think
2:26
Speaker 2: with working with you, never a dull moment that wouldn't
2:29
Speaker 2: surprise people, would.
2:30
Speaker 1: It at all?
2:32
Speaker 2: I never quite knew where you were going to go.
2:35
Speaker 2: It was freeze goal all the way. And look, I
2:39
Speaker 2: always liked to be a structure, so that challenged me
2:41
Speaker 2: a bit of the start. I think I got a
2:45
Speaker 2: few extra stress lines initially. Eh, but no, look it's correct.
2:51
Speaker 2: It's the old times for the Arps. In fact, one
2:55
Speaker 2: of my goals was, obviously I've been through quite a
2:58
Speaker 2: bit of a journey, but I did brain of the
3:01
Speaker 2: day of sitting in a studio with you again. Now
3:03
Speaker 2: obviously where corresponds today, But I tell you what, it
3:07
Speaker 2: builds like home. It biels like coming home.
3:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's nice, Janny. I truly my favorite time
3:14
Speaker 1: in radio was with you. I mean that truly, and
3:16
Speaker 1: I did quite a bit of radio over the years,
3:18
Speaker 1: and the most fun I had and the best connection
3:21
Speaker 1: I ever made in radio was with you. And we
3:23
Speaker 1: knew each other before, but we really became very good friends.
3:26
Speaker 1: And yeah, it was I do remember. I do remember
3:32
Speaker 1: the early not even just the early days, like the
3:35
Speaker 1: whole time. Because Jane, everyone is very crossthet dot the
3:40
Speaker 1: I very organized, very prepared. She's the opposite of me.
3:44
Speaker 1: She's the person that you if you need someone responsible,
3:47
Speaker 1: she's the one. She's the one you don't want me. Ah,
3:53
Speaker 1: you maybe want me out the front doing the car
3:55
Speaker 1: parking or something, just directing people, but running the show.
3:59
Speaker 1: You want Jane inside the auditorium running the show. But
4:04
Speaker 1: I do remember you. You did struggle a little bit
4:09
Speaker 1: with my lack of preparation and my propensity to be
4:14
Speaker 1: a little bit freestyle. Jane.
4:17
Speaker 2: You weren't allowed us where on that radio station. And
4:21
Speaker 2: I'm still a little bit concerned that you might slip
4:24
Speaker 2: a few f bombs. I think you managed to to
4:28
Speaker 2: control yourself over those years, inn't you.
4:30
Speaker 1: Yeah, I might.
4:32
Speaker 2: You might have been a bit controversial, maybe a couple
4:35
Speaker 2: of times.
4:36
Speaker 1: But well, it was a very great It was Australia's
4:42
Speaker 1: largest Christian radio station still is, I think. And it was.
4:46
Speaker 1: It was a a what are they called not commercial?
4:51
Speaker 1: What do they call what's the other one where they're
4:53
Speaker 1: not for profit? What's it called? Community radio station? But
4:56
Speaker 1: not but not really, I mean community radio station. I
5:00
Speaker 1: did work in in the early days. It was community.
5:02
Speaker 1: It was like sitting in a cupboard with a ten
5:04
Speaker 1: dollars microphone. I mean, but this was essentially set up
5:08
Speaker 1: as a commercial, very big, fancy good but not for profit.
5:13
Speaker 1: But it was very slick, but it was technically technically
5:19
Speaker 1: a not for profit where there is no everything is
5:23
Speaker 1: pretty scrutinized. Definitely no swearing. Of course. I am surprised
5:29
Speaker 1: that I actually that they put up with me for
5:33
Speaker 1: so long. I did get kicked off. I did get
5:35
Speaker 1: kicked off eventually when I wrote, well, I can say it.
5:39
Speaker 1: I wrote a book called Stop Fucking Around Everyone, which
5:41
Speaker 1: you all know of, and then I tried to keep
5:45
Speaker 1: it a sick I didn't keep it aside. I just
5:48
Speaker 1: didn't talk about it obviously, and then the station got
5:52
Speaker 1: I think, do you know this story. The station got
5:55
Speaker 1: a letter or an email or a complaint or two
5:59
Speaker 1: or three about the fact that they had this on
6:02
Speaker 1: air person Craig Harper, who wrote this book with the
6:06
Speaker 1: F word, and that was it. They had to which
6:10
Speaker 1: I totally I knew as soon as that was made
6:13
Speaker 1: a parent that that would be it. And that was it. Joaney.
6:17
Speaker 2: Yes, well, look you got through it, and look at you.
6:22
Speaker 2: You've just gone to from me and you just give
6:24
Speaker 2: sword how and you've gone to New levels.
6:27
Speaker 1: Well not really, but anyway, thank you so much. All right,
6:29
Speaker 1: enough about all of my crap. Let's talk about you.
6:32
Speaker 1: So I said to you before we went live, as
6:36
Speaker 1: much or as little as you want to share. I
6:38
Speaker 1: know you're an open book. Uh, so why don't you
6:44
Speaker 1: can we just talk about I want to talk about
6:46
Speaker 1: your medical journey, of course, but I want to talk
6:48
Speaker 1: not just about you know, all all that stuff per se,
6:53
Speaker 1: but all of the emotional and psychological and sociological and
6:56
Speaker 1: practical stuff around it. So where do we start, Like,
7:02
Speaker 1: I don't want to push you in a direction. Where
7:04
Speaker 1: do you want to start us with your let's call
7:07
Speaker 1: it your medical odyssey. When did you first figure out
7:10
Speaker 1: something was wrong? How did that come about? What was it?
7:14
Speaker 1: And then just go from there?
7:16
Speaker 2: Okay, So I was in two thousand and nine. I
7:19
Speaker 2: started to get symptoms, but at the time I thought
7:23
Speaker 2: just maybe a roll or flu. But it just persisted
7:29
Speaker 2: and so I started to investigate. It really took about
7:34
Speaker 2: nine months. First of all, got a misdiagnosis. I was
7:38
Speaker 2: told I had to potentially it was an up upper
7:41
Speaker 2: respiratory issue, so I was waiting to see a specialist
7:46
Speaker 2: for that, but it ended up. I was just getting
7:48
Speaker 2: progressively worse. The date was just cropping constantly through the day,
7:53
Speaker 2: lost of energy, lasted appetite, my weight was just dropping,
7:58
Speaker 2: and so I kept going back to the doctor and
8:01
Speaker 2: eventually well, eventually, after the initial misdiagnosis, I ended up
8:07
Speaker 2: with a diagnosis of a lung disease called bronchiectesis. And
8:12
Speaker 2: so if you go forward a couple of years from that,
8:14
Speaker 2: I then got another diagnosis and onto that, which was
8:18
Speaker 2: a clinical diagnosis of cystic fibrosis, which, as a lot
8:23
Speaker 2: of people be aware, you normally diagnosed with cistic fibrosis
8:27
Speaker 2: from Earth, so it's quite unusual to be diagnoses. So
8:31
Speaker 2: I was thirty eighth at the time, and so I
8:35
Speaker 2: just beah from there on in for the next number
8:39
Speaker 2: of years, in and out of hospital. It literally it
8:43
Speaker 2: gave as a shock to me because I lived a healthy,
8:46
Speaker 2: active lifestyle at that time. I knew none of my
8:49
Speaker 2: family history. I didn't know there was quite extensive lung
8:53
Speaker 2: disease on both sides of the family. So in terms
8:56
Speaker 2: of the genetic pool, I think I struck out a
8:59
Speaker 2: bit there obviously a bit more of a chance of
9:03
Speaker 2: getting something. But look, when I look back, I can
9:06
Speaker 2: see that. But I look back my lifestyle at that time,
9:11
Speaker 2: I was living a really hectic life. I was doing
9:14
Speaker 2: multiple jobs and living life at a very fast pace.
9:20
Speaker 2: I just I can look back and say that wasn't sustainable.
9:23
Speaker 2: So as much as I might have had the genetics,
9:27
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, I think my lifestyle impacted. So yeah,
9:34
Speaker 2: So that's then fast forward to now I'm first almost
9:38
Speaker 2: two years postlun transplant. So it's been quite a journey.
9:44
Speaker 1: Right, let's jump back and forth. So could you just
9:47
Speaker 1: tell us firstly, what is bronchi ecstasis.
9:51
Speaker 2: Yep, So it's a degenerative condition of the airway, So
9:57
Speaker 2: where you get the airways become damage because they become
10:01
Speaker 2: inflamed and they enlarge, and just progressively over time as
10:05
Speaker 2: you get more in fictions that the damage increases. So look,
10:11
Speaker 2: I have to say, despite a really dire diagnosis, so
10:15
Speaker 2: I was told the start, look it was a progressively
10:17
Speaker 2: general disease, no cure, and you probably end up with
10:21
Speaker 2: a lung transplant at some point. And look, being the optimist,
10:25
Speaker 2: I am, well, look, that's a diagnosis. But the problem,
10:30
Speaker 2: like I can still believe I can still do a
10:33
Speaker 2: lot to impact my outcome. So I don't actually believed
10:40
Speaker 2: it was possible to even heal. I even might I
10:42
Speaker 2: had no evidence. Look for my studies around the world
10:46
Speaker 2: of people you overcome this condition. I didn't find anybody,
10:50
Speaker 2: but I still believed it was possible, and I held
10:54
Speaker 2: on to that belief. I think when I look back now, yes,
10:59
Speaker 2: I end up with a lung transplat. I don't see
11:02
Speaker 2: that as a oh well I failed. I ended up
11:05
Speaker 2: have your transplant. I really see. I can look back
11:08
Speaker 2: now and say I got fifteen years out of ones
11:13
Speaker 2: that were already significantly diseased when I was diagnosed, So
11:18
Speaker 2: I only had moderate to s to be a disease
11:21
Speaker 2: when I started. So the fact I was able to
11:24
Speaker 2: keep myself going for fifteen years is well, I think
11:28
Speaker 2: that's a really inclined itself. So I'm yeah, I think
11:31
Speaker 2: I've actually can look back now and say I, actually
11:33
Speaker 2: I did really well.
11:35
Speaker 1: I remember. Yeah. Look, people say stuff like, oh, this
11:40
Speaker 1: person's inspirational, that person's inspirational, you know, and I know
11:43
Speaker 1: you don't like this, but I remember when you got
11:45
Speaker 1: diagnosed and you and I were chatting, and I never
11:51
Speaker 1: ever I couldn't believe how positive you were when it
11:57
Speaker 1: was just you and me, right, And it's just you
11:59
Speaker 1: and me in a room, music playing or whatever. Right,
12:01
Speaker 1: we're off air, so no one's hearing it's you and
12:03
Speaker 1: me in a studio. And there's lots of what people
12:07
Speaker 1: don't maybe think about. There's lots of times where we're
12:10
Speaker 1: not on air right because music's playing. So if we're
12:12
Speaker 1: in there three or four hours or whatever, in there
12:14
Speaker 1: for like, there's half that it's just us chatting. But
12:18
Speaker 1: I and I've worked with lots of people like probably
12:21
Speaker 1: you and John, you know John, my friend who got
12:23
Speaker 1: blown up in the with the gas bottles, who I
12:26
Speaker 1: just got off the phone. I just literally got off
12:29
Speaker 1: the phone too. Can I pause what I was going
12:32
Speaker 1: to say about you and tell you another quick story
12:34
Speaker 1: because you'll find it interesting. So, and I apologize to everyone
12:40
Speaker 1: who's heard it. But Johnny had this just horrendous injuries
12:43
Speaker 1: like hisself. Like it's not that it's any kind of comparison,
12:46
Speaker 1: but you know, spinal cord injury, traumatic brain injury. Was
12:50
Speaker 1: meant to die. They gave him basically no chance of living.
12:52
Speaker 1: And he's just had one thing after another and every
12:58
Speaker 1: day like he comes and see me and the crab
13:01
Speaker 1: at the gym three days a week. We train him,
13:03
Speaker 1: we love him, we help him around. He walks with sticks,
13:06
Speaker 1: not very well these days, but you know, he's in
13:08
Speaker 1: his seventies and he just still trains, still lifts weights,
13:11
Speaker 1: still shows up. And the other the other day he
13:14
Speaker 1: had this pain. Poor bugger. It's just one thing after
13:18
Speaker 1: another and or just this like sensation now from the
13:22
Speaker 1: basically from kind of the groin down like hips down.
13:26
Speaker 1: He's got basically no feeling in his legs, which when
13:29
Speaker 1: he walks with his sticks, it's clunky and it's and
13:34
Speaker 1: so he had this neural pain. Like it's funny you
13:39
Speaker 1: could poke him in the hamstring or the quad. He
13:41
Speaker 1: can't feel anything. You could put a needle in there,
13:43
Speaker 1: can't feel it. But he had this neural pain. And anyway,
13:48
Speaker 1: he's his wife and he they put this heat on
13:53
Speaker 1: and he didn't realize how hot it was because he
13:56
Speaker 1: can't feel, and it burned him. And I was in
14:00
Speaker 1: hospital today for a skin graft. Like I spoke to
14:04
Speaker 1: him five minutes before I spoke to you, and I'm
14:07
Speaker 1: like god, and I said, I said, how are you?
14:12
Speaker 1: And he's like, ah, you know, just another trip to
14:14
Speaker 1: the hospital, like he's so matter of fact. Yes, like
14:18
Speaker 1: if I was getting a skin graft, everyone would know
14:20
Speaker 1: I would need cards, I would need sympathy, I would
14:22
Speaker 1: need a lot of attention, as you know. Anyway, So
14:28
Speaker 1: but but you just you two remind me of each other. Anyway,
14:31
Speaker 1: So back to you, you know we were I remember
14:34
Speaker 1: each week you started off, I think you said you
14:36
Speaker 1: thought you had what they call an irty and upper
14:39
Speaker 1: respiratory tract infection, right, yes, yes, that's where you started,
14:43
Speaker 1: and then it progressed, and then when you kind of
14:45
Speaker 1: figured out you had bronchi exstasist or they did, and
14:48
Speaker 1: then I just remember you being like so almost I
14:55
Speaker 1: couldn't even understand how you could be so positive, Like
14:58
Speaker 1: it didn't even like I'm positive, and you were just
15:02
Speaker 1: so positive, and so you had such faith. You're just
15:06
Speaker 1: like I'm going to get through it. And as you said,
15:09
Speaker 1: it was reasonably advanced, like what was your lung function,
15:13
Speaker 1: but I feel it was only like forty or forty
15:15
Speaker 1: two or something NOTSSS.
15:18
Speaker 2: It was, it was sixty percent of diagnosis, and it
15:23
Speaker 2: eventually went down to I was up writing for about
15:26
Speaker 2: five years on about thirty percent so I've lost thirty
15:31
Speaker 2: percent over so I was over about it. Fifteen year journey, yep,
15:38
Speaker 2: I'd gone down to thirty and then of course, well
15:40
Speaker 2: then it just dipped really quickly, very sudden in the end.
15:46
Speaker 2: So yeah, quite noticeable. Just just going back to what
15:50
Speaker 2: you said about my positivity. Well, it comes down to choice, right,
15:56
Speaker 2: So I need choice to make. I was reminded, reminded
16:00
Speaker 2: of this in ICU, actually because I was facing absolute
16:06
Speaker 2: despair in ICU, but I realized I had a choice
16:10
Speaker 2: to make. I was only going to sort of get
16:14
Speaker 2: swallowed up by the despair, and I knew then that
16:17
Speaker 2: would impact my outcome and my recovery. Or I could
16:23
Speaker 2: choose to want to look at the positive or if
16:25
Speaker 2: it was in ICU, I was looking for the beauty
16:29
Speaker 2: in the moment, I thought, you know what, I'm going
16:32
Speaker 2: to focus on the beauty. And I was amazing. I
16:35
Speaker 2: was still able to find beauty. And that moment changed
16:40
Speaker 2: everything for me. It changed the more that I focused
16:44
Speaker 2: on the beauty of the situation, the more it showed up.
16:48
Speaker 2: And it showed up for me and pictured me ups.
16:52
Speaker 2: I'm on my back, I'm barely able to move, I'm
16:56
Speaker 2: a hooked up to every piece of equipment. I'm on
17:00
Speaker 2: a form of life support. I was still alert and
17:04
Speaker 2: I was still awake. I just yeah, just so bad.
17:13
Speaker 2: But basically just thought, I've got a focus on the
17:16
Speaker 2: beauty and that it showed up for me in a
17:19
Speaker 2: form of human connection, so I could focus on just
17:24
Speaker 2: the people I was interacting with the stuff, and yeah,
17:30
Speaker 2: and that's it. Just it was like a like a
17:32
Speaker 2: little sweet flicked anxiety. It was like, okay, and then
17:37
Speaker 2: the more study sharp and it just it changed from
17:41
Speaker 2: there on. It just made things a little bit easier,
17:44
Speaker 2: made to operate very much in the moment, of course,
17:47
Speaker 2: It's just amazing how that single choice changed everything. And
17:52
Speaker 2: I believe its regards of where we're at, we've always
17:56
Speaker 2: got a choice. Well that's why I warned.
18:01
Speaker 1: So you were in you were in intensive care. You
18:05
Speaker 1: were I mean, for all intents and purposes, dying, right,
18:10
Speaker 1: let's go. Yeah, let's be honest.
18:13
Speaker 2: I was in lung fowling. I was close to death
18:19
Speaker 2: the whole moment.
18:22
Speaker 1: It was so your lungs weren't working, you were you
18:26
Speaker 1: were on life support and without being if I get
18:31
Speaker 1: anything wrong, correct this, because I don't want to put
18:33
Speaker 1: words in your mouth. Right, But as far as I like,
18:37
Speaker 1: you were medically and practically being told that you were
18:42
Speaker 1: going to die, it wasn't a matter of if you
18:44
Speaker 1: were going to die.
18:44
Speaker 2: But when you know we were it, it came down
18:48
Speaker 2: to I can't tell close I came to, I'd say,
18:54
Speaker 2: I would say goodbye, I'd say goodbye to my family.
18:57
Speaker 2: I I was basically in the arms of my mother
19:01
Speaker 2: saying goodbye to her. And the next thing, a doctor
19:09
Speaker 2: walks in and says, we've got lungs. Do you want them?
19:15
Speaker 1: Wow? Yeah, so god, I'm sorry, go ahead.
19:23
Speaker 2: I couldn't. I couldn't speak. I couldn't. I was in.
19:28
Speaker 2: It was like a stupid natural moment like I you
19:31
Speaker 2: lot to put words to give a justice because yeah,
19:38
Speaker 2: just I couldn't speak, I could do with not. Yeah,
19:42
Speaker 2: like a big yes, I want the lunes and we'll
19:47
Speaker 2: we must touch on the day before because that's the
19:51
Speaker 2: big part of why I'm still here today as well,
19:55
Speaker 2: like the things that I had to come into play,
19:57
Speaker 2: or there was so many last working paths had to
20:02
Speaker 2: come to play for this all to come to pass,
20:04
Speaker 2: like it's it actually is an absolute miracle that I'm here. Yeah,
20:11
Speaker 2: it's it's incredible.
20:13
Speaker 1: Can I ask, oh, wow, there's so much we could
20:18
Speaker 1: so do a five hour podcast. We're not going to.
20:20
Speaker 1: But and by the way, like I said to you
20:21
Speaker 1: before we started, if you're need to break, just yell out.
20:24
Speaker 1: We'll hit the pause button. Then you can go get
20:25
Speaker 1: a drink. What you know, when he walked in, you
20:32
Speaker 1: were you'd said goodbye to your family because you knew,
20:35
Speaker 1: you know, for as far as you knew anyway, you
20:37
Speaker 1: were dying, and you were with your mum and you
20:40
Speaker 1: were saying goodbye and whatever, and and then how far
20:44
Speaker 1: away from death were you do you think at that stage.
20:50
Speaker 2: The doctor is it called Peter all that that day.
20:57
Speaker 2: So start from the start of that day, Peter was
21:00
Speaker 2: taking calls from doctors saying, look, there's really nothing more
21:06
Speaker 2: we can do for Jane. It's probably now about looking
21:10
Speaker 2: at how we can make her comfortable. It was his call, obviously,
21:16
Speaker 2: Peter my husband, you know, he's my next to king obviously,
21:19
Speaker 2: so he had that responsibility that well that I can't
21:26
Speaker 2: even imagine. I'm so in awe of. He's my hero essentially,
21:30
Speaker 2: apart from my donor and Donor family, he's my absolute hero,
21:35
Speaker 2: because I can't begin to imagine what it must have
21:37
Speaker 2: been like, take those phone calls to say, look, you know, yeah,
21:43
Speaker 2: your wife's dying and and so at the time, he
21:49
Speaker 2: was sick with COVID, so he couldn't actually physically come
21:52
Speaker 2: in to be with me, and so he's trying to
21:57
Speaker 2: make these decisions. But he just he said to the
22:01
Speaker 2: doctor's look, I really I can't make this decision. I
22:05
Speaker 2: need to see Jade in person. I'm not prepared to
22:08
Speaker 2: make this call. I need to be with her. So
22:11
Speaker 2: he held off. He got multiple calls during the day.
22:16
Speaker 2: He just felt he couldn't make that decision, and that
22:21
Speaker 2: delaying saved my life because had he made that decision,
22:27
Speaker 2: they would have started the process of making me comfortable
22:31
Speaker 2: and that would have then maybe no longer eligible to
22:34
Speaker 2: receive donor lungs. So incredible like it is, it's actually
22:43
Speaker 2: it's amazing.
22:45
Speaker 1: Wow. All right, I want to jump around a little bit,
22:48
Speaker 1: if that's all right with you. If you want to
22:52
Speaker 1: go anywhere, particularly as in a direction, let me know.
22:55
Speaker 1: But I'll just keep asking questions and if you just
22:58
Speaker 1: want to hijack the convers station, feel free. So back
23:03
Speaker 1: in two thousand and nine. You're so sixteen years ago
23:06
Speaker 1: you find out you're sick and or you've got at
23:09
Speaker 1: least a medical challenge. And you said for five years
23:14
Speaker 1: of your life you operated with about thirty percent lung function. Right, Yes,
23:22
Speaker 1: described to me and my listener's life with not one
23:28
Speaker 1: hundred percent lung function, but thirty percent. What is what
23:31
Speaker 1: is a day like?
23:33
Speaker 2: Okay? So one of the things I decided very early
23:37
Speaker 2: on after was I didn't want the honors to defy me.
23:41
Speaker 2: I wanted to rise above and live. So that was
23:44
Speaker 2: my mottol okay, And that actually didn't come from me.
23:48
Speaker 2: I believe you often talk about here you're talking about
23:51
Speaker 2: on your podcasts, the how you receive downloads.
23:54
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do.
23:56
Speaker 2: I believe that wasn't of me. I that came from Well.
24:01
Speaker 2: I believe it's God. And I know everyone's got their
24:04
Speaker 2: own interpretation of what that higher power is and the guy.
24:10
Speaker 2: I've got some thoughts on that, having been through a
24:13
Speaker 2: few spiritual experiences, but loving that as my my mart
24:18
Speaker 2: I had to accept that with where I was at,
24:22
Speaker 2: that my condition was going to dictate some of my days.
24:26
Speaker 2: So what I would do is attend to what I
24:28
Speaker 2: had to do practically, but I'd still do my best
24:32
Speaker 2: to live as well as I could around that. So
24:36
Speaker 2: but it did dictate things something because if I didn't
24:40
Speaker 2: do physiotherapy for a couple of hours a day, then
24:45
Speaker 2: I would feel like being in the day I was
24:47
Speaker 2: drowning because I build fluorida because I was the lungs
24:52
Speaker 2: were so damaged they couldn't clear the mucus, so I
24:56
Speaker 2: had to clear it manually with so we're taking a
24:59
Speaker 2: couple of hours a day to clear. So I do
25:02
Speaker 2: a couple of sessions a day, and probably by that
25:04
Speaker 2: stage of when I had thirty percent lung function, I
25:07
Speaker 2: was doing three one hour sessions of physiotherapy. I had
25:13
Speaker 2: to do a bit of whatever exercise I could manish
25:17
Speaker 2: to just to keep myself going in there. That helped
25:22
Speaker 2: me to kind of keep my anti going. So I
25:25
Speaker 2: did I have to move to gain energy, and for
25:29
Speaker 2: me that's that actually, And because I was at a
25:32
Speaker 2: background and exercise, I knew the power that exercised his medicine,
25:35
Speaker 2: So for me it was part of my daily medicine.
25:40
Speaker 2: But also I had to take a lot of medications,
25:42
Speaker 2: so I had to do nebulizers to be leading a
25:46
Speaker 2: day to help to help sort of loosen the mutle,
25:50
Speaker 2: to get it to a point where I could actually
25:52
Speaker 2: physically cop it up just because I would. It was
25:55
Speaker 2: an effort at that time then to be able to
25:57
Speaker 2: actually cough it out, because just for me, energy became
26:03
Speaker 2: such a precious resource, so I'd have to think very
26:07
Speaker 2: carefully about what I use an energy that I didn't
26:11
Speaker 2: So I'd have to think the start of the day,
26:13
Speaker 2: I way, how am I uprain today? What's going to
26:16
Speaker 2: be really stick for today? And for me my concept
26:21
Speaker 2: of what was a productive day. Perhaps some of your
26:24
Speaker 2: listeners will probably have a pi giggle about it because
26:26
Speaker 2: I think, oh wow, is that productivity? Like, kid, you
26:30
Speaker 2: not like going to the letter box just to get
26:33
Speaker 2: the mail?
26:34
Speaker 1: You know?
26:34
Speaker 2: I go, you beauty, like, what a great day I've
26:38
Speaker 2: got to letter box? And if I was I going
26:40
Speaker 2: to get a meal on the table, Oh awesome, great day.
26:44
Speaker 2: You know. There was a life became very simple. But
26:48
Speaker 2: then I just chose to appreciate the simple things more.
26:54
Speaker 2: I just got pleasure out of going out on my
26:57
Speaker 2: deck for a cup of tea. It became more aware
27:02
Speaker 2: of my surroundings, just the beauty of nature, just the
27:06
Speaker 2: beauty of interactions with my family, having quality time and
27:12
Speaker 2: even now you know now our post transplant, I guess
27:15
Speaker 2: it's even gone to another level because just your appreciation
27:19
Speaker 2: of life just yeah, it's been describable, really so thankful.
27:24
Speaker 1: Could you talk to us about fear in the middle
27:28
Speaker 1: of all of that. Was there any fear? What was
27:30
Speaker 1: the fear? How did you deal with because I, personally
27:34
Speaker 1: I would have been I would have been terrified.
27:37
Speaker 2: Well, there were times ups where I'm human, you know,
27:42
Speaker 2: it's it's a human moment, like it's something we all
27:44
Speaker 2: go through. I just have to I talked myself through.
27:53
Speaker 2: I guess, having had so much practice. I think the
27:56
Speaker 2: power of self talk, knowing the power of a war,
28:00
Speaker 2: words that I would speak, just walk into people, heart beat,
28:06
Speaker 2: how I was feeling, if I was fearful, being honest
28:10
Speaker 2: with people. My family were fantastic support. But there were
28:14
Speaker 2: certain things like one of the symptoms I'd have to
28:17
Speaker 2: deal with quite frequently was lun bleeding. So I could
28:21
Speaker 2: be just having a conversation with you, halfter. I remember
28:24
Speaker 2: I did on air one day have a bit of
28:27
Speaker 2: a bleed. I don't think I told you at the time,
28:29
Speaker 2: but I stepped out of the studio like that would happen,
28:33
Speaker 2: and of course you'd have that initial the body goes
28:36
Speaker 2: into you get this fresh response. So of course I'd
28:40
Speaker 2: have to learn to manage that, and I found with time,
28:45
Speaker 2: with practice, I'd get better at it, and I'd remind
28:49
Speaker 2: myself I think it was because of it would happen
28:52
Speaker 2: so often. I'd say, I'd always go back to, Okay,
28:56
Speaker 2: what do I know to be true? So I'd have
28:58
Speaker 2: a bleed, I'd Jane, what do you want be true?
29:01
Speaker 2: In this moment? I go, well, I've got past experience
29:04
Speaker 2: to tell me that I've overcome this, so based on
29:10
Speaker 2: what I know, I can overcome this again. And so
29:14
Speaker 2: I just I'd focus on that and just bled and
29:17
Speaker 2: just trust if I could get through, and that would
29:20
Speaker 2: calm me down. Of course, I know, if I could
29:23
Speaker 2: calm that stress response, then I can actually see and
29:27
Speaker 2: feel that the bleeding would actually slow down. You started
29:31
Speaker 2: to learn I actually realized I actually had all not
29:35
Speaker 2: complete control, by a little bit of control, just by
29:40
Speaker 2: the way I spoke to myself.
29:44
Speaker 1: Like the mind people. Yeah, think about when oh sorry, sorry,
29:51
Speaker 1: when you talk to yourself like that, and you know
29:54
Speaker 1: you switch on your parasympathetic nervous system, and your heart
29:58
Speaker 1: rate slows down, and your blood pressure comes down a bit,
30:00
Speaker 1: and the adrenaline eas is up and all of those
30:03
Speaker 1: things that kind of elevate cardiovascular You know that. Yeah,
30:08
Speaker 1: so then you you kind of turn it around. And
30:13
Speaker 1: that is such amazing self awareness and self regulation to
30:19
Speaker 1: be able to. And that's something that I think a
30:21
Speaker 1: lot of us, me included over the years, you know,
30:23
Speaker 1: we struggle with is is genuinely trying to or genuinely
30:27
Speaker 1: being able to have that self awareness and that ability
30:33
Speaker 1: to self regulate in the moment, you know, what's in
30:36
Speaker 1: my control, what's not? What do I know? Through such
30:40
Speaker 1: great questions.
30:42
Speaker 2: Also the power of story, because I would also go
30:46
Speaker 2: back to a story a doctor Tommy. Now, say about
30:50
Speaker 2: seven years into my journey, I had a particularly bad
30:54
Speaker 2: bleed and ill. In the early years, I ended up
30:57
Speaker 2: in hospital every time I had a bleed because they
31:00
Speaker 2: didn't have medication, so I'd always have to go via
31:03
Speaker 2: an ambulance to hospital. And I remember this doctor saying
31:07
Speaker 2: to me, about three o'clock in the morning, I was
31:10
Speaker 2: bleeding profusely, like I was just there was just blood
31:13
Speaker 2: coming out and I remember I looked up and just
31:17
Speaker 2: in between when it just I could speak, I said
31:20
Speaker 2: to the doctor is this it? Am I going to die?
31:24
Speaker 2: And he told me a story about a patient who
31:27
Speaker 2: they'd flown from Queensland down to Melbourne, a fishing out
31:34
Speaker 2: of the sea and it survived. Yes, he lost a
31:37
Speaker 2: lot of blood, but he survived. And from that when
31:41
Speaker 2: I was I always went back, that's time for well,
31:44
Speaker 2: if they can survive, well, you know what I'm seeing
31:47
Speaker 2: my lantern. I'm about thirty four and took from the
31:51
Speaker 2: hospital maybe twenty minutes with the sirens going, maybe least
31:57
Speaker 2: because they'd rushed me to hospital obviously, you know what.
32:02
Speaker 2: It was still on my side still and the body
32:05
Speaker 2: is remarkable. Like, I guess that's one of the greatest lessons.
32:10
Speaker 2: Like and I do I believe I've come back in
32:15
Speaker 2: one of my little spiritual experiences I did. I know
32:20
Speaker 2: I've come back with a specific purpose. I know it
32:24
Speaker 2: wasn't one that I writed myself. I know it's because
32:27
Speaker 2: I wouldn't even use the words that But why of
32:30
Speaker 2: the words was given to me? The download I had,
32:33
Speaker 2: I wouldn't even use that word in my vocabulary, So
32:35
Speaker 2: I had to look it up actually to know what
32:38
Speaker 2: in the context of what was relevant to me to
32:41
Speaker 2: go forward.
32:43
Speaker 1: What what's the word?
32:44
Speaker 2: So I was divinity, So I was you need to
32:47
Speaker 2: go back and remind people of their divinity? And I thought, well, okay,
32:52
Speaker 2: what in what context? But because you know, I felt divinity, holy,
32:57
Speaker 2: the holiness, what I actually googled it HAPs and what
33:03
Speaker 2: resonated was it's the bats to.
33:06
Speaker 1: Do with.
33:08
Speaker 2: It was partly that about our unlimited potential. So we
33:13
Speaker 2: often all operate from so much limitation, you know, like
33:17
Speaker 2: we limit bout luls and so I guess I'm here
33:22
Speaker 2: to remind well, I'm told I'm here to remind people
33:27
Speaker 2: that they're full of potential. There. Yeah, it's amazing.
33:36
Speaker 1: Do you think that.
33:38
Speaker 2: It sounds out there? And look, by guarantee, HAPs years ago,
33:42
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have had this conversation with you on air
33:44
Speaker 2: because I want to worried about what will people think
33:46
Speaker 2: of this? They'll think I'm crazy, I'm woo woo whatever.
33:50
Speaker 2: And now I'm so comfortable in my skin. I think,
33:53
Speaker 2: you know what, I accept that people have maybe listening
33:55
Speaker 2: to this podcast. I think, look that all sounds a
33:58
Speaker 2: bit crazy whatever, And I expect that and then everyone's
34:01
Speaker 2: in told in their opinion. But I've got to be
34:05
Speaker 2: true to myself. And I feel I'm here for a purpose.
34:09
Speaker 2: We're all here for purpose or want to live in
34:12
Speaker 2: a line of that purpose. I just feel there's such
34:16
Speaker 2: a freedom in just speaking my truth, not worrying about
34:20
Speaker 2: what other people say, and just yees spend There's times
34:24
Speaker 2: in my life now where I speak up more. Well,
34:26
Speaker 2: I would have remained silent. I think, well, if that
34:29
Speaker 2: offend somebody or that makes them feel uncomfortable and signed,
34:33
Speaker 2: But my intentions, intentions always good. I come from a
34:39
Speaker 2: positive intention.
34:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I mean people. And this is the this
34:44
Speaker 1: is the practical reality of talking to thousands of people,
34:47
Speaker 1: which you and I are now, is that everyone. You know,
34:51
Speaker 1: there'll be people right now who are inspired, people who
34:54
Speaker 1: are a little bit sad for you, people who are intrigued,
34:57
Speaker 1: people who are curious, people who have already turned off,
35:02
Speaker 1: people who are like oh, I can't hardly hear her.
35:04
Speaker 1: And you know, like this is the this is the
35:07
Speaker 1: human experience. It's like I have people who think I'm great,
35:11
Speaker 1: and I have people who hate me, and I have
35:13
Speaker 1: everyone in between. I have people who send me nasty emails.
35:16
Speaker 1: I have people who send me the nicest emails of
35:19
Speaker 1: all time. This is the you know. And in the
35:22
Speaker 1: middle of trying to be a good human, which I do,
35:24
Speaker 1: which you do, there are always going to be people
35:27
Speaker 1: who resonate with you and don't resonate with you. And
35:32
Speaker 1: you know, your job and my job is not to
35:34
Speaker 1: keep everyone happy. Your job is to go, well, why
35:39
Speaker 1: am I here? What's my purpose? What am I meant to?
35:42
Speaker 1: I think it is? And then do your best to
35:44
Speaker 1: be whatever it is you believe you're meant to be
35:47
Speaker 1: and meant to be doing, and because otherwise you spend
35:51
Speaker 1: your life in this psychological prison of worrying about what
35:56
Speaker 1: strangers think of your words like that is that doesn't
36:01
Speaker 1: help you or help them. And there will be people
36:05
Speaker 1: I can't guarantee, but I am quite comfortable in thinking
36:09
Speaker 1: there will be people today that hear you and you're
36:13
Speaker 1: not getting on here to be rah rah, and you're not.
36:17
Speaker 1: You're not Tony Robinson it up at all. But there
36:19
Speaker 1: will be people that there will be people that hear
36:22
Speaker 1: you that for you this moment in time, not because
36:25
Speaker 1: of the You project or Craig Harper, but because maybe
36:29
Speaker 1: not even because of you, but because of your message.
36:32
Speaker 1: It's going to be transformational for them. And I think
36:35
Speaker 1: that is that is why I love well, I love you,
36:40
Speaker 1: but I love I wanted to share you and your
36:43
Speaker 1: story with people because you can bang out all the
36:47
Speaker 1: data and all the information and all the theory of
36:51
Speaker 1: change and the theory of self help and the theory
36:55
Speaker 1: of high performance and human optimization and you know, potent,
37:01
Speaker 1: but hearing somebody who basically was very very very close
37:06
Speaker 1: to death and then in the middle of that finding peace,
37:09
Speaker 1: and then the middle of that, you know, some people
37:13
Speaker 1: will say it's a miracle. Some people will say whatever,
37:15
Speaker 1: it is right, but it is what it is, and
37:17
Speaker 1: you are here, and you are you know. I just
37:21
Speaker 1: think that it is such a blessing that you get
37:26
Speaker 1: to for us, that is that you get to say,
37:29
Speaker 1: this is what I went through. And I think as
37:32
Speaker 1: a you know, as people who are on the journey,
37:35
Speaker 1: which is all of my listeners, like you don't even
37:40
Speaker 1: have to point out the lessons. You just go, here's
37:42
Speaker 1: my story. Here's my story. You know.
37:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, when out there you might be facing some challenges,
37:50
Speaker 2: I say, look, I you know, and you're dealing with
37:52
Speaker 2: so much uncertainly. What am I go to tools is
37:57
Speaker 2: outside of myself long as uncertainty, So as much as
38:03
Speaker 2: the uncertainy might be in your face, like for me,
38:06
Speaker 2: it's in my face constantly that there's no guarantees for
38:10
Speaker 2: me and probably more so than for some other people
38:14
Speaker 2: with my reality. But I find peace. Well it's a
38:18
Speaker 2: cent sort of sense of actually mind this alone, because yeah,
38:23
Speaker 2: the reality is none of us are guaranteed. So let's
38:27
Speaker 2: just do the best we can and enjoy what we can. Well, well,
38:33
Speaker 2: we've got it like life.
38:35
Speaker 1: And I ask so as we record everyone, just to
38:38
Speaker 1: put this in context. It's October two, twenty twenty five.
38:43
Speaker 1: What day was your transplant? What was the date?
38:48
Speaker 2: But the nineteen nineteen, remember November twenty twenty three.
38:56
Speaker 1: So November nineteen, twenty twenty three, so we're heading towards
39:01
Speaker 1: two years. Yes, I want to jump around a little bit,
39:05
Speaker 1: but I want to start with right now. So right
39:07
Speaker 1: now today talking to me, can you give us an
39:11
Speaker 1: idea of your like your status, your health, your performance,
39:15
Speaker 1: your lung function, where you're at right now? And also
39:18
Speaker 1: if I could be so, I hope this is not insensitive,
39:22
Speaker 1: but like, what's your life expectancy and all that.
39:25
Speaker 2: Now I'm hayby to go there. So at the moment,
39:31
Speaker 2: my lung functions thing about fifty four percent. And look,
39:35
Speaker 2: some people's lung function goes, but it goes right up
39:39
Speaker 2: like into the nineties for me because I had so
39:44
Speaker 2: it's been one hundred and twenty two days in hospital.
39:48
Speaker 2: I had eighty two days in ICU.
39:51
Speaker 1: And eighty two days in intensive care.
39:55
Speaker 2: Yes I did. Yeah, that's almost a record. It's actually
39:59
Speaker 2: the second longest time. And ICE you at the hospital
40:01
Speaker 2: I was at as I almost set a record, which
40:05
Speaker 2: I wish I hadn't ups but look why I've got
40:08
Speaker 2: I got clapped out of ICU. I think I might
40:11
Speaker 2: have sent you the footage of that.
40:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, I saw they wheeled you out. You had a standing.
40:17
Speaker 1: I mean there was literally all look like a whole
40:20
Speaker 1: team of medical people.
40:23
Speaker 2: But thousands almost No, not go I mean did.
40:26
Speaker 1: They I mean, I know your self deprecating, but I
40:28
Speaker 1: know you. They must have fallen in love with you
40:31
Speaker 1: a little bit? Did they.
40:34
Speaker 2: With each other? I haven't go in love with the
40:37
Speaker 2: people that turned me over because I couldn't do anything
40:41
Speaker 2: for myself up. I was completely dependent. I couldn't go
40:45
Speaker 2: to the toilet by myself. I was I was basically
40:49
Speaker 2: lying on a bed. I spent weeks unable to I
40:53
Speaker 2: couldn't speak because I had so to wait to the
40:57
Speaker 2: vocal cord dysfunction that I've got. I had a tracheostomy,
41:03
Speaker 2: so I couldn't speak. I couldn't I could move my fingers,
41:07
Speaker 2: I move my toes. That was about. It's like I
41:11
Speaker 2: had to get yeah turned over by a team of
41:14
Speaker 2: people every couple of hours. So I fell in love
41:17
Speaker 2: with them. I think that I need. I got to
41:19
Speaker 2: like me because I interacted with me in the way
41:22
Speaker 2: I could. So initially i'd interact with my eyes. I
41:25
Speaker 2: could only raise my eyebrows, so I'd sort of raise
41:29
Speaker 2: my eyebrows. And then I got to the stage where
41:32
Speaker 2: eventually I could wave my arms. So they but they
41:37
Speaker 2: discovered I loved music, so they played music for me
41:39
Speaker 2: as I was turning my body and I'd like wave
41:42
Speaker 2: my arms.
41:43
Speaker 1: That's hilarious.
41:44
Speaker 2: There was a highlight of my day because I had
41:48
Speaker 2: to find the simplest things to find joy in. So
41:52
Speaker 2: I'd go I'd be hanging out for my team of
41:55
Speaker 2: people to come and turn me over because I go, yeah,
41:58
Speaker 2: beauty because I get they playing music or they interact
42:02
Speaker 2: with me. So I just I was craving human connection
42:06
Speaker 2: because my family was only allowed in two hours every day,
42:09
Speaker 2: so really need to find elsewhere. So yeah, so I
42:16
Speaker 2: think we're going to be off track there, alps, we've gone.
42:18
Speaker 1: No, No, it's good, We're good. I want to know.
42:21
Speaker 3: Okay, so fifty four percent lung function yep, so but
42:27
Speaker 3: it should hopefully you will continue to create. I believe
42:31
Speaker 3: it will because I've still got a lot of weakness
42:34
Speaker 3: across the chest, down my legs. I've got nerve damage
42:39
Speaker 3: from the surgery because it was it wasn't straightforward my surgery.
42:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, they had to. They had difficulties keeping me going
42:49
Speaker 2: during the surgery because I lost Yeah, there's a lot
42:52
Speaker 2: of blood loss and was so I cat damage from
42:55
Speaker 2: the surgery, so that there's a lot of weakness. In fact,
42:59
Speaker 2: it's still it feels like someone's crushing me on the chest.
43:03
Speaker 2: That's a daily thing. I just but I I acknowledge
43:07
Speaker 2: it's there, but I just kind of get on with things.
43:09
Speaker 2: And again, power of the mind, it's just incredible what
43:13
Speaker 2: you can do. It's more when I sit down and
43:16
Speaker 2: stop and think about it. I'm aware of the physical
43:19
Speaker 2: the physical impact of what I've been through, and like
43:22
Speaker 2: I've got nerved dow me tried down my right leg.
43:25
Speaker 2: So what you said all that I'm walking, I'm walking
43:32
Speaker 2: like for thirty minutes. I'm doing weight training. I'm loving life,
43:37
Speaker 2: like just because I always loved exercise, but I've never
43:41
Speaker 2: been on the exercise to the point of getting sure
43:44
Speaker 2: of breath, like and explain that moments of breath was
43:51
Speaker 2: it went wrong, they would feel terrible right transplant, because
43:56
Speaker 2: I was just so debilitating. Whereas now I get sure
44:00
Speaker 2: of breath, I go, this is awesome, Like this is
44:03
Speaker 2: a good shortness of breath, and I recover and I
44:07
Speaker 2: can so I embrace getting short of breath, and like,
44:11
Speaker 2: for the first time ever, I can exercise and push
44:14
Speaker 2: myself loving that. Like so I can extend myself so
44:19
Speaker 2: yet exercise, I can actually go about daily activity's without
44:23
Speaker 2: having to stop and think, oh, have I got the
44:26
Speaker 2: energy for this? I still take little breaks, but like
44:30
Speaker 2: I'm just able to do so much more. And you know,
44:35
Speaker 2: once upon a time, I always reliant on my family,
44:39
Speaker 2: you know, full time, like they all did to step
44:41
Speaker 2: in the gap now I can support them, and I'm
44:44
Speaker 2: just loving bell to be there for them and do
44:47
Speaker 2: things for them, look for them, clean for them, you know,
44:52
Speaker 2: go ahead and do stuff. Be spontaneous like I'm loving
44:56
Speaker 2: sposhat like. I know we didn't even and this talk today,
45:01
Speaker 2: but I woke up. I wake up with excitement of
45:04
Speaker 2: what's the possibilities of what might be in my day?
45:08
Speaker 2: I actually ask Michael myself the question. Every time I
45:12
Speaker 2: wonder the morning, halfs nights, I have gratitude like, thank
45:16
Speaker 2: you God for another day, and then it's, oh, my goodness,
45:20
Speaker 2: how exciting the possibilities. I ask myself a question. I'll say,
45:25
Speaker 2: what this is going to be the best day of
45:28
Speaker 2: my life?
45:30
Speaker 1: Yeah?
45:31
Speaker 2: And ah, living impossibility. I love it. You just don't
45:40
Speaker 2: know what will show up. And yes, there will be
45:43
Speaker 2: things that you'll navigate that are going to test you.
45:46
Speaker 2: And I can sell you right now, I've got a
45:49
Speaker 2: lot of stuff going on around me. Unfortunately, once I
45:53
Speaker 2: started to get really well, you know, the other people
45:56
Speaker 2: around me who've been to my supporters, they've crumbled a bit,
46:00
Speaker 2: totally understandably because they've been through the mill for years. Right,
46:06
Speaker 2: no one knows what they've been through and so now
46:10
Speaker 2: it's their turn. But I'm here. I can show up
46:15
Speaker 2: for them, I can be there for them, I can
46:18
Speaker 2: support them on their journey. And that's the thing that's
46:24
Speaker 2: kind of my purpose in being blessed with being put
46:29
Speaker 2: back here is to be of service to others, which
46:32
Speaker 2: that was always a priority for me, but that's really
46:35
Speaker 2: important for me, but also in your mind, I still
46:39
Speaker 2: have to I do have to put myself first, prioritize
46:43
Speaker 2: my own self care because if I'm no good, I'm
46:46
Speaker 2: no good to others.
46:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Can I ask you this is a bit
46:52
Speaker 1: of a I don't even know how to ask this question,
46:54
Speaker 1: so I'm just going to ask it. All my polished
46:57
Speaker 1: kind of podcasting skills are out there door. Today people
47:03
Speaker 1: talk about when they have a transplant that they feel
47:07
Speaker 1: different or that they they are something. There's some sense
47:11
Speaker 1: of the donor or I don't know what the right
47:14
Speaker 1: word is, but I remember seeing a guy who had
47:17
Speaker 1: a heart transplant, quite a very well known bodybuilder and powerlifter,
47:24
Speaker 1: and it was from the heart was from a lady,
47:27
Speaker 1: and the donor was a lady, and he just like
47:32
Speaker 1: from he he was way more compassionate and way more
47:37
Speaker 1: empathetic and all of these things, which it literally he
47:40
Speaker 1: said it literally. I mean he's still him, but it
47:44
Speaker 1: kind of changed him. And he liked how it changed him.
47:47
Speaker 1: And I mean, I don't even know what to ask you,
47:50
Speaker 1: but tell me about being an organ donor recipient, like
47:57
Speaker 1: that's a massive thing, right, tell me a bit about it,
48:00
Speaker 1: like either medically or emotionally or whatever.
48:04
Speaker 2: It's almost I'll say, it's such an honor, a privilege.
48:08
Speaker 2: So to be carrying somebody else forward, Like when people
48:12
Speaker 2: ask me, now, how are you, I say, we're great.
48:16
Speaker 1: Wow.
48:17
Speaker 2: But I just feel so I feel such a connection
48:20
Speaker 2: with his person. I don't I don't know who this
48:22
Speaker 2: person in his arms, but I will tell you. When
48:25
Speaker 2: I woke up from the transplant, when I was finally
48:32
Speaker 2: able to speak, my one of my first things I
48:35
Speaker 2: said to Peter, my husband, was I've got male lungs.
48:45
Speaker 1: Wow.
48:45
Speaker 2: He said, what do you mean? I said, oh, I
48:48
Speaker 2: just feel I've got lungs from a male And he said, oh,
48:54
Speaker 2: you know. I said, it's just a I don't know,
48:58
Speaker 2: and look like, yeah, you get told a little bit
49:01
Speaker 2: of information for me because I was quite delirious too.
49:05
Speaker 2: Ups I went through a lot of delirium I've got.
49:07
Speaker 2: I could write a book on delirium. I don't know
49:11
Speaker 2: what's there's still stuff that I'm still working through to
49:15
Speaker 2: work out what's true and what wasn't. But yeah, I
49:19
Speaker 2: can tell you I do feel I'm the same person,
49:25
Speaker 2: but I feel like I'm a better version of myself
49:27
Speaker 2: thanks to my donor. I feel more fearless because I
49:32
Speaker 2: can a book and say, in my past, oh, over
49:37
Speaker 2: many years, there were times where I made a lot
49:41
Speaker 2: of decisions out of fear.
49:42
Speaker 1: Yes, and I.
49:44
Speaker 2: Do believe you. Someone might say, well, maybe it's just
49:48
Speaker 2: now that I'm more feelss. Maybe it's just the experience
49:52
Speaker 2: of this second chance, and no, no, I genuinely believe
49:56
Speaker 2: it's my donor. I suspect they were. I'm an adventurous person.
50:01
Speaker 2: I don't know that as a fact, but I feel
50:05
Speaker 2: more adventurous. And if you were asked to ask Peter,
50:08
Speaker 2: my husband, he would say, you're definitely different. And he says,
50:12
Speaker 2: I'm look I was never I think I've always been
50:16
Speaker 2: reasonally laid back, but I have gone to more. He
50:20
Speaker 2: would say, I'm even more chilled than I used to be.
50:23
Speaker 2: It takes a lot to upset me or on sittle
50:28
Speaker 2: me out. Still I can still react, but it takes more.
50:33
Speaker 2: It definitely takes more than it used to.
50:36
Speaker 1: I feel like you've always you know, that equanimity thing,
50:39
Speaker 1: like being able to be the calm and the chaos.
50:41
Speaker 1: I feel you've always been, you know, pretty good at that,
50:46
Speaker 1: and you've always just had this. I'm not just saying
50:49
Speaker 1: it because we're because it's convenient now in this chat,
50:53
Speaker 1: but you've always had this consistent energy and this can
50:58
Speaker 1: like like in all the is that we've known each
51:02
Speaker 1: other and we haven't seen each other for too long,
51:03
Speaker 1: and that's my bad. But in all the however many
51:07
Speaker 1: conversations you and I had on air, off air, at
51:10
Speaker 1: the studio, away from the studio, you were never anything
51:16
Speaker 1: but nice, like and I know that's a terrible word,
51:20
Speaker 1: but just kind and thoughtful and empathetic, much more than me,
51:25
Speaker 1: much more like if somebody said, what's Jane, like, I
51:29
Speaker 1: go much better than me, but just a much better
51:32
Speaker 1: version of me. But you know, I don't know, I
51:37
Speaker 1: don't know whether that's something that you work on consciously
51:40
Speaker 1: or that's just your personality, but you know, it's inspirational
51:45
Speaker 1: for people to be around you. You probably don't know that,
51:49
Speaker 1: but it definitely is.
51:50
Speaker 2: Oh it's so much for that, but I think it's
51:56
Speaker 2: it's probably a combination for a number of factors. And look,
51:59
Speaker 2: I was lucky to I had good role models. Unfortunately,
52:04
Speaker 2: I watched my dad deal with illness for a good
52:09
Speaker 2: part of my life from when I was a teenager,
52:11
Speaker 2: and I just looked at the way he used to
52:13
Speaker 2: handle it, and I thought, wow, you know, if by chance,
52:17
Speaker 2: and you know, yeah, obviously didn't know, I wasn't head,
52:20
Speaker 2: but gosh, if I had to face something, I've got
52:25
Speaker 2: such a good example of the way to approach. Like
52:28
Speaker 2: I remember my dad saying, oh, you know, these are
52:32
Speaker 2: just life tests, so you know again they clomed down
52:35
Speaker 2: to choice. He had a choice to make. He approached
52:39
Speaker 2: the hollness with grace. I believe he's just never complained.
52:42
Speaker 2: And look, I'm not gonna say there are part there's
52:46
Speaker 2: a tidy place to complain and say, actually, love day
52:50
Speaker 2: or in this moment, I'm really struggling, so human explience isn't.
52:57
Speaker 2: But then yeah, but no, I feel I will all
53:02
Speaker 2: send a time with it and say, looks myself off,
53:06
Speaker 2: it's time to get on with it, and just get
53:09
Speaker 2: on with it.
53:09
Speaker 1: So I can't even begin to imagine the stress and
53:15
Speaker 1: the anxiety for your whole family, of course, like a
53:19
Speaker 1: few girls and for Pete, but but for Pete especially
53:22
Speaker 1: who's you know at that time had to be the
53:25
Speaker 1: everything for you, but also the dad. And you've got
53:30
Speaker 1: to be stoic. You've got to be strong. Yes you're human,
53:32
Speaker 1: and yes you're going to have your moments, but you've
53:33
Speaker 1: got to be strong. You've got to make the hardest
53:35
Speaker 1: decisions of all time. You've got to be present. And
53:39
Speaker 1: then when he's with you, he can't fall apart, you know,
53:42
Speaker 1: I mean he can't, but you know what I mean,
53:43
Speaker 1: he's got to be strong for you. He's got to
53:45
Speaker 1: be strong for everyone. How did he come out of
53:49
Speaker 1: all of this? Because I would imagine, like you were
53:52
Speaker 1: talking about a few people post all of this had struggled,
53:55
Speaker 1: I'd imagine the trauma and almost PTSD. Right, it's because
53:59
Speaker 1: it's it's very traumatic.
54:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, so all family members have experienced stay. Yeah, if
54:08
Speaker 2: the daughters, we're actually used a lot of humor to
54:11
Speaker 2: get through because we sprained the other day or recently,
54:14
Speaker 2: my daughter said, one of my daughters said, I wish
54:17
Speaker 2: youd have not all that this man for a dinner party.
54:20
Speaker 4: Huh, Well, we've all had to work through. Yeah, the
54:26
Speaker 4: true and it's all it all, it's all manifested in
54:29
Speaker 4: all different ways. Like because we're all different people. So
54:33
Speaker 4: how as you know, Harps, how one person's anna respond,
54:36
Speaker 4: it's gonna be different to another. So but yeah, they're
54:41
Speaker 4: all eates get pts like just don't give an example. Recently,
54:47
Speaker 4: he was taking me in for a hospital visit, just
54:50
Speaker 4: for a check up, and he actually hadn't been back
54:53
Speaker 4: in the hospital for about seven months because I said, Tom,
54:56
Speaker 4: you just dropped me off and you.
54:58
Speaker 2: Go and treat yourself. You go and have a cup
55:01
Speaker 2: of down at the local cafe, and you have some
55:03
Speaker 2: time just for yourself, because honestly, Arps, he deserves it.
55:06
Speaker 2: He's been incredible. So what do you while in step
55:10
Speaker 2: look in the hospital after the time, he actually experienced
55:14
Speaker 2: panic attacks and he couldn't be thick enough. And so
55:20
Speaker 2: he's had to work through all that and work on
55:23
Speaker 2: his on his own mental health. He's had a time
55:26
Speaker 2: out from work and so he should like and now
55:29
Speaker 2: he struggled with that for a while because he felt
55:31
Speaker 2: like he should have been the providing forests, and is
55:34
Speaker 2: said in harps to beat you, you take the time
55:38
Speaker 2: you need because nobody knows what you've been through. And
55:43
Speaker 2: that's one thing. Other ways, I guess I've always been
55:45
Speaker 2: able to do to is put myself in other people's shoes,
55:48
Speaker 2: and for me, that's been one of the most difficult
55:52
Speaker 2: parts of my recoveries. Knowing what my family went through
55:56
Speaker 2: their struggles, that's been my biggest trauma. You knowing there,
56:03
Speaker 2: I'd imagine what must have been like for them to
56:05
Speaker 2: see to see me or pooked up to equipment of
56:10
Speaker 2: life support, the emotion of the are losing me just it's.
56:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, well even more than that, didn't the girls didn't
56:25
Speaker 1: they come in to say goodbye to you?
56:28
Speaker 2: They did?
56:29
Speaker 1: I mean, how do you go in and you say,
56:33
Speaker 1: I don't even want to, like, but yeah, your mom's
56:36
Speaker 1: going to die. This is it going? Say good? I mean,
56:39
Speaker 1: kids shouldn't have to do. I mean, I get it
56:41
Speaker 1: when you know eventually that's going to happen, I guess
56:44
Speaker 1: for everyone. But your kids were relatively young and you
56:47
Speaker 1: relatively young, and like and then and of course the
56:51
Speaker 1: overwhelming I guess I don't know experiences relief and gratitude.
56:56
Speaker 1: But that's still that trauma and that experience that's still
57:00
Speaker 1: is on a cellular level in them somewhere, doesn't it absolutely?
57:04
Speaker 2: And look, I'm lucky ups now that when I so,
57:07
Speaker 2: if I cast my mind back to ICU, my first
57:11
Speaker 2: thought is the funny moments and yeah, the beautiful moments
57:17
Speaker 2: I spoke about before, right, And then I remember I
57:22
Speaker 2: recall the trauma. It's almost like go back has some
57:26
Speaker 2: as level and I don't feel just say it's still
57:31
Speaker 2: all probably say a level. But I've done a lot
57:34
Speaker 2: of work and I've done some incredible therapy that's really
57:39
Speaker 2: helped me. So it's not to say that something might
57:42
Speaker 2: not happen because it's not linear, Like it's not linear
57:47
Speaker 2: process isn't. So I accept that that something might still
57:51
Speaker 2: come up. And initially I remember I had I remember
57:56
Speaker 2: having a panic attack. I never had a panic attack
57:58
Speaker 2: in my life that came out of hospital. I was
58:01
Speaker 2: putting a pair of jeans and I was trying to
58:05
Speaker 2: help me get dressed and I'm like, I started to cry,
58:08
Speaker 2: them quick get me into the jeans. I got stuck.
58:11
Speaker 2: I couldn't get my leg through, and I'm like, quick,
58:14
Speaker 2: get me, I'm trapped. I'm trapped. And I didn't realize
58:18
Speaker 2: at the time, but later after so I'm back kit,
58:22
Speaker 2: I realized it was feeling trapped in my body back
58:26
Speaker 2: in laiceear right, and the feeling of being trapped. So yeah, yeah,
58:35
Speaker 2: it's amazing, but it's got com through that. And I said,
58:39
Speaker 2: I go back to funny moments in that A two days.
58:44
Speaker 2: There are a lot of funny moments as well with
58:46
Speaker 2: the staff.
58:48
Speaker 1: I think that's a very Australian thing too, is like
58:51
Speaker 1: trying to deal, you know, trying to navigate pain and
58:54
Speaker 1: trauma with humor, and it's it's super understandable. A couple
58:58
Speaker 1: of things like we're gonna let you go soon, but
59:01
Speaker 1: we could maybe do another one one day. But so
59:06
Speaker 1: I want you to be as open as you want.
59:08
Speaker 1: But tell us about I don't know the spiritual awakening,
59:16
Speaker 1: the god awakening, if there was what that looked like.
59:19
Speaker 1: Don't worry about what, don't worry about what people's belief
59:22
Speaker 1: systems are or aren't. This is just you. I just
59:25
Speaker 1: want to know. I want to I want to know
59:29
Speaker 1: what happened, Like, what do you know now? What do
59:31
Speaker 1: you believe now? What changed now because you you already
59:34
Speaker 1: had a faith, So tell me what's happening now and
59:38
Speaker 1: happened since then?
59:40
Speaker 2: Okay, So as I understand my experience, So coming up,
59:44
Speaker 2: I thought God was a man, this guy. So but
59:50
Speaker 2: my experience today tells me there is definitely there is something.
59:57
Speaker 2: So like, oh God, there's something experienced it I have
1:00:03
Speaker 2: I just stepped into well, I've I've left my body
1:00:09
Speaker 2: because I was so when I realized, well, my purpose
1:00:12
Speaker 2: was I was actually outside my body. Ups. I was
1:00:16
Speaker 2: floating above my body, looking over my body in absolute
1:00:20
Speaker 2: awe feeling. There's actually no words to describe how awesome
1:00:28
Speaker 2: I felt. Right, It's like, if you're okay, the best
1:00:32
Speaker 2: I can give you is, imagine, have you experienced like
1:00:39
Speaker 2: high even mad.
1:00:42
Speaker 1: Uh? Well, when when Mark died in the gym and
1:00:49
Speaker 1: then he came back to life, that was pretty good.
1:00:52
Speaker 2: So it's like almost like euphouric, like like okay, yeah,
1:00:57
Speaker 2: so awe, so imagine that on steir. Oh, It's like okay.
1:01:00
Speaker 2: Then it's just there was there was no no care
1:01:05
Speaker 2: in the world. I was floating. I was a peace
1:01:09
Speaker 2: I was there was something with me. I was there
1:01:12
Speaker 2: was a prince there was a presence and I was
1:01:18
Speaker 2: given these words. So I was looking at my body
1:01:21
Speaker 2: in absolute awe and just marveling at how incredible and
1:01:27
Speaker 2: resilient it was despite being attached to all equipment. And
1:01:31
Speaker 2: that's when I got the words, You're to go and
1:01:34
Speaker 2: remind people of the divinity.
1:01:37
Speaker 1: Wow. And so.
1:01:40
Speaker 2: It was voice arts, but it wasn't in my ears.
1:01:43
Speaker 2: It was in my I felt it. I've had it
1:01:46
Speaker 2: happened a few times. So it's like a feeling inside.
1:01:50
Speaker 2: But there are words, but it's a voice, but not
1:01:53
Speaker 2: coming through my ears.
1:01:55
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:01:57
Speaker 2: I mean imprinted, imprinted into my heart. But but it's
1:02:01
Speaker 2: a familiar voice because I've heard it before, but not me.
1:02:05
Speaker 2: That's not me. What there wasn't me thinking at the time.
1:02:09
Speaker 2: Now I can see myself from above, I'm going to
1:02:14
Speaker 2: go back and do Yeah. And divinity is not a
1:02:19
Speaker 2: word i'd use.
1:02:21
Speaker 1: Yes, I know, and I agree. I couldn't really see
1:02:25
Speaker 1: you knowing you. I couldn't really see you using that
1:02:28
Speaker 1: day to day, or neither would I for that matter.
1:02:31
Speaker 1: But I I was also in a tunnel.
1:02:35
Speaker 2: I was in a tunnel, and I was sky on
1:02:39
Speaker 2: this beautiful tunnel. It was beautiful light. It was I
1:02:44
Speaker 2: was just all white but bright. I can see the
1:02:47
Speaker 2: most incredible light in the distance. And then all of
1:02:51
Speaker 2: a sudden, I just claimed to a standstill. So I stopped.
1:02:54
Speaker 2: I was away from the light, but I could see
1:02:56
Speaker 2: it in the distance, but I felt drawn to it.
1:03:00
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
1:03:01
Speaker 2: And and it was just and it was just the
1:03:03
Speaker 2: word not.
1:03:03
Speaker 1: Now really yeah.
1:03:08
Speaker 2: And then I just felt I feel like there was
1:03:10
Speaker 2: someone next to me, guide me back, but not now,
1:03:14
Speaker 2: goud me back as next to me.
1:03:19
Speaker 1: We should have started with this.
1:03:23
Speaker 2: Lining sense of just my onset of God is all encompassing,
1:03:28
Speaker 2: all a presence, a presence wow.
1:03:33
Speaker 1: Wow. And when you were looking down on your body
1:03:41
Speaker 1: in that bed, did you like, could you see other
1:03:46
Speaker 1: people in the room or just you? It was just
1:03:50
Speaker 1: me right like there.
1:03:52
Speaker 2: Would have been stuff just there was always start watching me,
1:03:56
Speaker 2: but there was just me in the.
1:03:58
Speaker 1: Time mm hm yeah. And did that that experience when
1:04:03
Speaker 1: you came back, if that's the right word, when you
1:04:07
Speaker 1: came back, did that you know, lying in that getting
1:04:12
Speaker 1: back in your body, so to speaking. That's another thing
1:04:15
Speaker 1: that occurs to me. It's like I was there, my
1:04:18
Speaker 1: body was there, Which is that separation between I'm not
1:04:23
Speaker 1: that I just have a body. I'm not a body.
1:04:25
Speaker 1: That's just the thing I'm in for the moment. This
1:04:28
Speaker 1: is just the thing that gets me around.
1:04:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, can it more and more? That with my spirit?
1:04:34
Speaker 2: Like I was above TI, it was just like were
1:04:37
Speaker 2: spiritual beings in a physical body. That's that's my understanding.
1:04:42
Speaker 2: That's from my experience. That's what we are with spiritual beings.
1:04:48
Speaker 2: And it's not there's no distance between and what's next.
1:04:53
Speaker 2: There's no distance. It's like it was like there's just
1:04:56
Speaker 2: like a veil that's and the good time. There's no
1:05:03
Speaker 2: concept of them as we know. It's the man made
1:05:07
Speaker 2: it on where I was there was Yeah.
1:05:12
Speaker 1: No, Once at a time, did you when you were
1:05:16
Speaker 1: out of your body? Hm, did you want to stay
1:05:21
Speaker 1: out of your body?
1:05:22
Speaker 2: Like?
1:05:22
Speaker 1: I don't mean necessarily did you want to die? But
1:05:24
Speaker 1: I mean did you that place that you were in?
1:05:27
Speaker 2: Oh was so beautiful that you I was a complete peace? Yeah,
1:05:34
Speaker 2: so I could have find there?
1:05:38
Speaker 1: And can I ask you before we go? So what's
1:05:41
Speaker 1: your prognosis now in terms of health and performance and recovery?
1:05:45
Speaker 2: And look in theory Harps, they say out of all
1:05:52
Speaker 2: the transplants, probably one transplant has the what would you
1:05:59
Speaker 2: say the word the least like in terms of longevity. Yeah,
1:06:07
Speaker 2: so the fact that but I the one organ that
1:06:11
Speaker 2: it does a contact with the external environment, so infection,
1:06:18
Speaker 2: infection risks. So in theory, the average life expectancy, he's
1:06:24
Speaker 2: around about seven years. I don't. I don't. I just
1:06:29
Speaker 2: say that's just an alma for me because her names,
1:06:33
Speaker 2: I know. But I live in possibility, so I don't
1:06:39
Speaker 2: look at time frames. I just go, I stay, I
1:06:41
Speaker 2: stay in the now as much as possible. Yeah, I'm
1:06:44
Speaker 2: not plans speaking for it, but what there's a young
1:06:48
Speaker 2: percent yours in the hospital with at the same time,
1:06:51
Speaker 2: and look, she hasn't got a good outcome for first transplant.
1:06:55
Speaker 2: She's got to go back on the list. You just
1:06:59
Speaker 2: you just don't know. Like there's people do very well.
1:07:03
Speaker 2: I know, somebody's eighteen years post transplant. So I hang
1:07:07
Speaker 2: out with her a bit because I tell you what,
1:07:11
Speaker 2: she's inspirational. Just I think, wow, just look at the
1:07:14
Speaker 2: way she lives a life. And but there's people that
1:07:18
Speaker 2: don't make it through transplant. There's people and there's just
1:07:20
Speaker 2: so many scenario. So again, that number of seven years
1:07:24
Speaker 2: is just a number. It's just I'm not a statistic
1:07:28
Speaker 2: I've never looked to myself as a statup. There's just
1:07:31
Speaker 2: so many variables. I just trust is applian for my life.
1:07:37
Speaker 2: I'm a face with whatever it is, and I'll enjoy
1:07:40
Speaker 2: whatever time I have with my family. O'll just do
1:07:45
Speaker 2: whatever I can and yeah, wow, just live live life
1:07:52
Speaker 2: the best I can.
1:07:53
Speaker 1: Sometimes my podcasting hat falls off, and I just sit
1:07:57
Speaker 1: there and just want you to keep talking. And I
1:08:03
Speaker 1: so appreciate you. Well, wow, what time do we start?
1:08:09
Speaker 1: I don't know. Now, let me see how long we've
1:08:12
Speaker 1: been talking for. Oh wow, we've been talking for a
1:08:14
Speaker 1: long time. Well you did great, Thank you. How's your energy?
1:08:23
Speaker 1: How's your energy? Right now?
1:08:25
Speaker 2: We'll see. Talking to you has energized me. I just
1:08:31
Speaker 2: want we're all fair right now, are we?
1:08:34
Speaker 1: No, we're not our fair. We're recording. Do you want
1:08:36
Speaker 1: to say something on air?
1:08:39
Speaker 2: I just want to say to you. Oh see you start.
1:08:46
Speaker 2: It's like coming back home. This was a true I
1:08:50
Speaker 2: didn't know whether I'd ever do something like this again.
1:08:58
Speaker 2: I think there was a piece with the fact that
1:09:00
Speaker 2: I potentially would never do it again. But but it
1:09:04
Speaker 2: does feel like coming back home.
1:09:05
Speaker 1: It's a Wow, she feel quite emotional.
1:09:10
Speaker 2: And it's like back in those years working with your harps,
1:09:14
Speaker 2: illness didn't exist for me, illness did not exist in
1:09:17
Speaker 2: the studio, like there was just a pleasure to spend
1:09:21
Speaker 2: time with you, and all that stuff is over friendship
1:09:26
Speaker 2: Like for me, I've never had any expectation of you.
1:09:30
Speaker 2: For me, it's always about when we do finally catch up.
1:09:33
Speaker 2: It's like just picking up when we have left off. Yeah,
1:09:39
Speaker 2: you know, it doesn't feel like time has passed. So
1:09:42
Speaker 2: and friendship can take all different forms. I think we've
1:09:45
Speaker 2: got I feel personally like there's a connection there, there
1:09:49
Speaker 2: will always be a connection. I'm really proud of you.
1:09:56
Speaker 2: I feel blessed to have you in my corner. I
1:09:58
Speaker 2: know Peter reached out to you when I was in Icy.
1:10:01
Speaker 2: I didn't know anything about that, but I'm in you.
1:10:06
Speaker 2: I want you in my corner. So I just want
1:10:08
Speaker 2: to say thank you for because I know you cry
1:10:12
Speaker 2: now you would have put me in your thoughts and
1:10:17
Speaker 2: years and whatever. Let's that's open heel. The knowledge that
1:10:23
Speaker 2: I had people like you in my corner has helped
1:10:25
Speaker 2: my healing. And I did actually have a I think
1:10:30
Speaker 2: I had a bit of delirium, and you were in.
1:10:32
Speaker 1: It, well if any delirium. When I came out with
1:10:40
Speaker 1: he're going I came.
1:10:41
Speaker 2: Out of delirium. I came out of it. I said
1:10:45
Speaker 2: to my mum, he's a lumps here. She goes, what
1:10:49
Speaker 2: do you mean? I said, he's here, isn't he? And
1:10:53
Speaker 2: she goes, no, I said, I think he's in the
1:10:56
Speaker 2: in the park over the road. He's meditating. He's meditating
1:11:00
Speaker 2: in the park. He won't come in. I've invited him in,
1:11:04
Speaker 2: but he won't come in.
1:11:07
Speaker 1: That's I was across the road. I was scared. I
1:11:11
Speaker 1: was scared. Hey, we're going to say officially goodbye and
1:11:15
Speaker 1: then we're going to keep talking, so you can say
1:11:17
Speaker 1: goodbye to everybody, so you can say you made me cry.
1:11:20
Speaker 1: All right, I've already cried. I may cry again. Off air,
1:11:25
Speaker 1: I'm you know, like, I don't know. I can't find
1:11:29
Speaker 1: the adequate words. But I'm so happy that you're okay,
1:11:34
Speaker 1: and I'm so inspired by you. Thanks for coming, thanks
1:11:39
Speaker 1: for chatting me with me, Thanks for allowing my friends
1:11:42
Speaker 1: to meet you.
1:11:45
Speaker 2: So much. That's absolutely pleasure to be with you all.