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617-Everybody Online Ain't Worth Listening To! · Spiritual Homegirl

• 0:00
  Hey, y'.
• 0:00
  All.
• 0:00
  You're listening to another episode of the Spiritual Homegirl podcast, Re Better Self in spirit and make peace with the day through wisdom, education, and practical, easy to follow tips.
• 0:09
  I am your host, Maria, your spiritual homegirl, who's also a mental professional.
• 0:13
  And I just want to give a word of encouragement to anybody that's needing it.
• 0:17
  Please don't stop believing and please don't stop going.
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  And I know in these type of times, there is so much on your spirit, and it's so much that's on the collective spirit.
• 0:29
  There's been so much collective trauma that I believe the collective has gone through.
• 0:32
  And I know some people will try to spiritually bypass and be like, not be girl.
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  And it's like, yeah, you too, boo.
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  Because if you're in the collective, I'm not saying it had to hit you a hundred percent in 100 miles an hour, but I'm saying that as a collective, we have endured a lot.
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  Some have been negatively impacted more than others.
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  But the pandemic, some of the global warfare, the high cost of living, the threats to the cost of living, there's been so much people's rights have been questioned.
• 1:07
  It's just been so many things that have happened.
• 1:09
  And one thing I don't do on this, on this podcast I've never done is I've never spiritually bypassed anything.
• 1:15
  And that's why I don't really mesh too well with those that tend to be so loving light that the light blinds them from seeing what's really in front of them.
• 1:24
  I'm very much of the thought process of, you can hold different things at once.
• 1:30
  You can be grateful and, and do all these wonderful gratitude lists, and which I do, because gratitude is a practice.
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  You can do all these wonderful.
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  I love my life and things of that, but you can also see the realities without being ungrateful or being dissatisfied with where you are.
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  Like, you can hold two things.
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  You can say, hey, I love.
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  I love my life, I love my family.
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  I love the ability to be here every day.
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  But we need to do better collectively with how we treat each other.
• 1:58
  We need to do better with, like, we need.
• 2:00
  We.
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  There's always things to be done better collectively.
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  I do believe that.
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  So if you're one of those people that's been struggling with that, as the homegirl who loves you and wants to see you win, please, by all means, allow yourself to feel the different things at once, because that's your
• 2:15
  right.
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  We're not meant to be in these things where it's just all or nothing, but when it comes to these types of situations.
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  So you can also say, I'm grateful for my life, I'm grateful for what I've accomplished, but I'm tired right now, or I'm feeling a little burned out right now, or these things don't quite feel right to me right
• 2:32
  now.
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  Or maybe I've been doing things for the last 20 years or the last 10, 15 years, and I'm feeling a little bit different about it.
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  It's okay to sit and explore that.
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  Whether you want to explore that with yourself, whether you want to explore that with your partner or your support group or your friend group or your family or even a.
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  A peer support specialist or a thera, you're okay to explore.
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  And we are so multifaceted as beings that sometimes we will be a little frustrated and we will be over all of this.
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  And I don't mean all of it to the point where we don't want to live anymore.
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  And for some of those that are feeling that way, by all means, please text the word home to 741741.
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  That's the crisis text line.
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  They have some great resources for you.
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  If you're not comfortable with calling 988 or 9111 1.
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  I' ma always say spiritual homegirl, gonna say safety first.
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  Safety first.
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  Spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, all the time.
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  I'm gonna always say that first and foremost.
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  But for those that are not quite feeling that way, but you're feeling a little down about maybe not being where you want to be in your career, being not where you want to be in life, because I know
• 3:46
  the seasons are changing.
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  I want you to remember that, number one, seasonal affective disorder is a thing.
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  And please, by all means, explore that with your support.
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  Whether that's going to be in this case, a peer support specialist, a support group, a therapist, psychiatrist, or a combination of all four, whatever it is, by all means, please explore that.
• 4:08
  Because seasonal affective disorder is a thing.
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  You know, based on what I've researched, it affects women more than men.
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  There's two different patterns.
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  Some people are affected in the summer, some people are affected in the winter.
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  Sometimes, you know, it, it shows up.
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  Well, it is depression.
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  So let's keep that a book.
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  Seasonal effective disorder is a type of depression.
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  And sometimes we mistake other things thinking that it's one thing, but it's actually seasonal affective disorder.
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  So if you are feeling a bit demotivated, sleeping more, not really eating as much, or you're eating for comfort on A level where it's not normal for you or you're withdrawing from your friends and don't really want to
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  be out much and don't really feel like leaving the house or you're sad, or you're just kind of, kind of feeling a little stuck or like you're in slow motion, you're not really concentrating, whatever that is, please talk
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  about that with somebody and get the help that you deserve.
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  I'm gonna always tell you, you deserve support, you deserve help.
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  And support is a spectrum.
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  It looks like a lot of different things.
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  So by all means, boo friend, please go get that.
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  But for those who are needing a motivational word, it always going to look pretty 100 of the time.
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  And sometimes the stage that you're at, trust me, I haven't been there.
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  And I know sometimes the state is your at is at the verge of a breakthrough.
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  I love reading the book three Feet From Gold because.
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  Three Feet from Gold.
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  I don't want to spoil it, but if you can think about the title, that is the reason why you should stick with it.
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  Sometimes we need a bit of a encouragement to kind of sit still too though.
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  So if you're feeling stuck, you need to look at this.
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  Are you stuck or are you sitting still wanting to work things out?
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  Because in the society that we live in, if you're not moving fast enough, you'll be considered idle or you'll be considered lethargic or lazy, or you're not hustling enough.
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  The beautiful thing that I love over the last 10 years that I have been on air is, is that the, the, the psyche of the collective has been changing to where all that I'll sleep when I'm dead BS
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  and all this hustle or grinding and people are realizing I, I, I kind of actually want to spend time with my family or I actually want to get some sleep.
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  I actually want to do other things with my life.
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  I actually want to enjoy my life.
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  I don't want to work myself into the ground.
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  I'm all here for that, Trust me.
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  All here for that.
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  So I love to see if the psyche is changing, but I don't want people to feel like because they have.
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  And again, like I said, you have the right to feel how you feel, but you don't have to feel like if you're not moving 100 miles an hour, that you're not moving at all.
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  Sometimes your, your pace can be 100 miles an hour and others your pace might be at 5 or you might need to park for a little bit.
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  Readjust your gps, figure out where you're going.
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  You might need to look at the map, might need to do some googling on the destination that you at.
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  Do you even want to go there anymore?
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  Is this even a place you want to be?
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  And if it isn't, maybe that part time, that two miles an hour time, that reverse that actually might get you to the place you need to go that's more aligned.
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  So don't stop believing in what you want to do, even if it's just being happy at whatever it is that you're doing.
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  If you're needing clarity, imma always say pros, cons, decision matrix, and pray, period.
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  Figure it out as best you can.
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  Don't feel rushed to make a decision.
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  If it takes you one week, one month, one year, if this is the one year that you're gonna take from October 26th to October 27th to figure out what it is you want to do, by all means, do
• 7:51
  it.
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  Y' all literally saw me go to grad school while doing a podcast, while doing community work.
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  I literally have pivoted so many times over the last 10 years, but it's always gotten me to the place I need to go.
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  Sometimes you just got to do that.
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  And that's the beauty about being able to share these types of things on the podcast.
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  Because for some of y', all, that's been day zeros.
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  Y' all have literally seen me do this.
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  So I'm telling you, it can be done.
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  But please give yourself the grace and please don't let the needs to get to where you want to go and even the impatience of wanting to get there stop you from thinking that you're capable or deserving from getting
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  there once you decide to get there.
• 8:37
  If you're a person that's used to being high achieving or used to being super successful, you are used to probably getting your way a lot easier and having your way without much effort.
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  For those that are magnet kids, tag kids, you know, talented gifted kids, kids that were AP classes, things of that nature, Some of y' all might.
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  I might be talking to some of y'.
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  All.
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  I might be the high achievers, the ones that always just have to get it right.
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  Some, not all.
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  Some people are so used to just being able to be so effortless or being so used to manufacture the outcomes that to not be able to readily and easily and quickly manufacture an outcome can make them feel like
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  they are powerless.
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  And I'm telling you, you're not.
• 9:29
  It's just that you have to accept again When I say you, I say me because I'm never above my own advice.
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  You have to accept that sometimes it's not always going to go your way, how you want it.
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  What I don't like about pop culture spirituality is that it will literally have you saying manifest, manifest, manifest.
• 9:47
  I'm more of a faith plus works type girl, but manifest, you can make anything happen, just believe.
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  And sometimes that can lead to spiritual bypassing, which I also don't like, which I've also said earlier.
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  And I'm less of a delusion girl and more of a conviction girl.
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  And what that means is when I think of delusion, I think of false belief, right?
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  And if we are very much real people with real dreams and aspirations and real goals and real desires of happiness and joy and amazingness and prosperity and abundance, I'm not of the mindset, I'm not judging anybody that has
• 10:23
  believed this or, or follows this, but I personally am just not of the mindset where I need to actually lie.
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  I can have the unshakable belief, but I can take a bit of what people describe as delusion and apply that to my life, which would be conviction.
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  Not the conviction of, oh, we in the court of law, and we, you know, whatever.
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  It's the conviction of just the strength of how we feel about the things we want.
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  How bad do you want it?
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  Are you willing to want it when things don't look as easy to obtain?
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  When things are not going your way 100 of the time, when things are making you question if you even want it?
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  Like, one thing I am of the belief that I love is that dreams so big that they scare you.
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  The dreams, that is dreams so big that your dreams kind of have you a little shook.
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  Like, can I do that?
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  That is really cool.
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  Because those things are still possible.
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  It's just that sometimes we are around people that just don't know what that's like.
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  And I talked about that extensively in the last, what, four or five episodes about surrounding yourself with people who don't know what it's like to dream big.
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  Therefore, they don't want you to dream big or are uncomfortable when you attain the things that you dream big on.
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  The conviction is what makes the difference.
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  So for those that are struggling, remember the conviction.
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  Remember why you want it.
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  Remember that it's not going to always be a hundred percent easy.
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  And another thing, if people say it doesn't come to you easily, that's a lie.
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  Again, more pop culture spirituality, more cute, cliche stuff.
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  That's cute on memes.
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  But not cute in practice.
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  Sometimes it may come easy, sometimes it may not.
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  How many people you didn't caught in a relationship or you didn't, you didn't got in a relationship that you attracted easily, but they weren't aligned?
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  How many times was it easy for you to spend your money on something you knew you shouldn't have bought or something that did not give you any value in the long run?
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  Programs, clothing, subscriptions, easy to get don't mean it's meant for you though.
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  Sometimes it's going to take some work.
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  Now the caveat to that, if you finding signs that you might need to abort mission, you might need to listen to them signs.
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  But again, that's going to be very individual and that's going to depend on what you are into, what you into, what you believe in, what you're praying for, what signs you're looking for.
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  So I'm not saying that.
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  So you know, again, that's where we get a little nuance.
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  But speaking of nuance, I also wanted to go into social media.
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  Stay on social media.
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  If you know your mental health is in a place where it's not a hundred percent stable right now, stay off social media.
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  And what I mean by that is for some people you'll be like, oh, that's unrealistic, I need to get the news or whatever.
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  I, I understand that, but maybe instead of spending an hour a day, maybe you need to just knock out a little 5, 10 minute update and gone about your day.
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  Or maybe you need to adjust your algorithm to where you're only following the people you actually like and not the algorithm because there are certain apps you can switch it to, the people that you actually follow that you
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  do want to tap in with.
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  And then there's algorithm of randoms that tell you all kind of stuff.
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  We are in an age where people say whatever they want to say for attention.
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  It could be wrong, it could be correct, it could be to instill fear, it could be to ruin your day, it could be to just put a negative seed out.
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  People have all motives, all kind of motives for using social media.
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  People have all types of seeds that they want to put out there and you really have to sit and inspect the fruit of those seeds.
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  From what you see, you have to assume that the mental state of a person that is posting and since you don't know 100%, you really got to take all this mess with a grain of salt.
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  People may be posting because they're paid or people may just want to say you Know what?
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  I feel like disrupting the Internet.
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  And I want to say this.
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  Or some people say, you know what?
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  I want to piss some people off today.
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  I'm going to say this.
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  Or some people will say, like I always say, I had a bad day.
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  Those are the ones that I can't stand the most.
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  The one that have bad days or have bad lives because they're unhappy and miserable and they just spin seeds of they solses, I should say, of just rottenness and ugliness and meanness because they feel better about themselves.
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  Like, you just never know with folks.
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  So remember, you don't know people on the Internet, you don't know what they're posting.
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  So before you take somebody just saying something on the Internet as facts, if you care to research it, research it.
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  But if not true to me and spit the bones, as my granny would say, always vet your sources.
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  Remember, you don't know these folks.
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  Whoever those folks are, you don't know them.
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  And that nobody's opinion online should have that much power to ruin your day.
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  Because it's gonna sound like a harsh or direct take when I say this, but when you allow somebody to negatively impact your day that you don't know, to me it says, one, you got to get your power up,
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  and two, you gotta get your protection up.
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  And three, you might need to get your discernment up.
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  And I'm not saying that in a bad way as if you're less than, because you're not.
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  But the Internet has people with their guards down all the time.
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  And the power and the discernment and the protection of who you are and your family should be so strong that no other human on this earth should be able to penetrate that unless it's with your permission.
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  So what I mean is, do not give people the permission to cause harm to you on these screens.
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  Be mindful of what you're looking at.
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  People like to post death for clicks and views and monetization and for some sick people, fun they are.
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  It's a lot of weird behavior out here if you know that there's something in the news that's triggering you.
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  Mute the words, block people that are posting these things.
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  There is no reason why people should be able to get on their devices and see people's last moments on earth.
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  When did like a society we have started to become barbaric in the sense where people's lives are entertainment and that's not cool.
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  So protect yourself your discernment.
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  If you know that there's an account that always posts rage Bait.
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  Why do you follow them?
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  If there is a person that always post takes that you don't like, why do you follow them?
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  If there's a person that you, you're not quite 100% sure, but they a little weird to you, why do you follow them?
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  I know people say don't make assumptions, but if it don't feel right, why, why engage?
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  Just don't engage.
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  Block them.
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  Do what you have to do.
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  And if that even includes reducing your screen time to do other things that can help your mental health or your spiritual health, like praying or hanging out with your family or getting some real social interaction with people you
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  actually like and people that like you and staying away from things that are triggering that might make you sad or might make you angry or hurt, then by all means, do something different.
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  Learn something.
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  Learn something new.
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  Learn about something that might not be as harmful to you.
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  Learn how to cook, learn how to bake or something.
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  Learn how to sew.
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  Just something fun.
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  Learn a new skill.
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  Again, we're not saying spiritually bypass, but you can do both.
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  The thing I see the most now is this whole fear mongering stuff.
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  Oh, the, the DOD said all this stuff about 90 day supply.
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  Oh, you got to get ready.
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  Okay.
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  After the first 10, I was like, all right, cool.
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  I see it's gonna be the trending topic.
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  After the first 20, I said, all right.
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  This is like, I, I, I, I, I see enough like, okay, we got it.
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  But it's a bunch of that that's always been around and it's been like that for the longest.
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  And then you got the spiritual folks.
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  Not all of them, but the ones that just have to be right all the time.
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  I predicted this.
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  No, you didn't.
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  Like, that's the one thing I can't stand.
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  One thing I don't like too.
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  Oh, I'm not calling anybody particular because there's so many people that do this, especially on certain apps, but I want us to stop looking to one human for all of the predictions because who made them more gifted than
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  you?
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  You need to pay attention to your own life.
• 19:07
  Honestly, respectfully, I, I just.
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  Why are we looking to other people for their insight and their gifts that are spiritual and not cultivating your own?
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  Because everybody has them whether they want to admit them or not.
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  I just don't understand how we as people will shun different belief systems only to set up a non religious belief system that exalts one person above all others.
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  In the same way they shame a preacher for having a quote unquote flock.
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  They will also have a flock.
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  And then all of a sudden, it's just weird to me again, like I said, you know, everybody, child, we just in the age of attention, attention is.
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  Is the.
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  Is the currency data and attention them the two things that's selling like hotcakes around here.
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  So again, like I'm saying, when it comes to your mental health and believing in yourself and things like that, don't ever let none of these people on these apps, myself included, even though I wouldn't necessarily say anything negative
• 20:06
  about you.
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  But don't let people influence you to feel more about yourself than you.
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  You have.
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  And what I mean by that is feel more blank about yourself, feel more sad about yourself, feel more disappointed in yourself, feel more guilty in yourself, feel more ashamed of yourself.
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  Don't let people put more negative extras on you.
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  Especially not no people that you don't know.
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  Like, get off of the Internet.
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  If you have to protect your mental health this season you're going to see a lot of stuff thrown at you.
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  This is par for the course.
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  It happened in 2016, happened in 2020, happened the entire time continuously.
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  And this is where we are now.
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  It has gotten out of control.
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  Social media has changed over the last 10 years, especially since I've been podcasting.
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  So again, the season's about to change.
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  Some of you might be feeling a little bit down.
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  I've gave you some homegirl advice earlier.
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  Please feel free to rewind it.
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  Remember who you are.
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  Remember whose you are.
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  You ain't nobody's on the Internet, I'll tell you that much.
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  You don't belong to them.
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  You belong to you, your higher power, if you believe in one.
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  You belong to the family that you created.
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  You belong to people that love and care about you.
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  So stick to that.
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  Don't let these randoms on this Internet tell you any different, because they gonna try.
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  Okay?
• 21:33
  If you are noticing some symptoms where you're not really feeling like yourself, this is where you need to get some help.
• 21:40
  You have a lot of wonderful options.
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  It could be.
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  Peer support, support group, crisis line.
• 21:54
  Like I said, text the word home to 741741.
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  You can also call 988.
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  Need a licensed therapist.
• 22:03
  Go get you a licensed therapist if you even need medication.
• 22:06
  Again, like I said, this is not my place to tell you need it or not, because again, pop culture spiritual give you blanket statements on people they know nothing about.
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  And people will be like, oh, they must be talking to me.
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  And it's like, no, they not.
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  They talking for they Talking for dollars.
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  Okay?
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  They talking to sale something.
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  They don't know you.
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  They don't know your individual situation.
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  But if you need to get help, what I'm saying is take the power of your own hands to do what you got to do.
• 22:31
  Remember that you're special and you're a person that is deserving of success and abundance.
• 22:37
  You're a person that might be having a rough time right now, and that's okay.
• 22:41
  For others, that might not be that.
• 22:43
  That extreme.
• 22:44
  You might not need a psychiatrist.
• 22:45
  You might not even need therapy.
• 22:47
  You might need somebody just to tell you to remember who you are and that tough times don't last always.
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  And if that got to be me, then okay, let's hear it.
• 22:54
  Tough times don't last always.
• 22:56
  It might have been easy before, but it may take a different level of effort and consistency or even strategic planning or even a different level of belief to get to where you want to get now.
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  You're capable.
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  If you want to believe that.
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  Remember that everything is important to you.
• 23:12
  If it's important to you.
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  Sometimes we can't force other people to find importance in what we do.
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  But remembering our why and making sure that no matter who does or does not believe in us, we keep going, that's going to be the determining factor of how we execute the idea that we've been dreaming about for
• 23:28
  some of us all our lives.
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  You deserve to continue that.
• 23:32
  Your idea deserves your love and your attention and the spirit of conviction to push through, no matter who supports it.
• 23:42
  Everyone has a divine assignment.
• 23:44
  Do you know yours?
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  And if you don't, don't let another human tell you what your assignment is.
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  They might have an idea, but they're not God.
• 23:55
  They don't know these things.
• 23:58
  You might be feeling underqualified.
• 24:00
  It's okay.
• 24:00
  Imposter syndrome is real.
• 24:01
  And then for some, you might not actually know what you're doing.
• 24:05
  That's okay.
• 24:08
  Go get some more research.
• 24:10
  The.
• 24:11
  The beautiful thing about the Internet is that it's not quite under wraps to where you still can't learn what you want.
• 24:18
  So by all means, build your skills.
• 24:22
  Give yourself the grace to say, you know what?
• 24:25
  I'm gonna put six months or a year, two years, three years.
• 24:27
  I'm gonna put the work in and get my skill set together so I can feel more confident in what I'm doing.
• 24:33
  There is nothing wrong with that.
• 24:39
  There's nothing wrong with just continuing the journey of learning.
• 24:42
  I find it wonderful that people are students of life because there's so much to learn every day, there's a new thing to learn.
• 24:49
  So imagine if you apply that to skill building.
• 24:52
  That's awesome.
• 24:53
  Pick a skill, roll with it, pick another skill, do it again, practice it, get awesome at it, and do what you need to do with your goal.
• 25:03
  And if you need to pivot and change, change directions, sit with that and make sure that you're sure.
• 25:08
  And remember that even if you think you made the wrong decision, you always have the right to change your mind.
• 25:13
  You always have the right to change your mind, no matter who tells you differently.
• 25:19
  For some, it might take a little more time.
• 25:21
  It might take a little more money in terms of the investment, depending on what you're paying your money for in terms of learning things, it might take more time, it might take more of you.
• 25:29
  But if that's the direction you want to go in, make sure you list it out.
• 25:33
  Like I said, higher power Prayer Pros, Cons.
• 25:36
  Decision matrix.
• 25:37
  Do what you got to do.
• 25:38
  You might not believe how you're going to get it done, but just believe that you can take it one step at a time.
• 25:43
  Okay?
• 25:43
  So with that being said, y'.
• 25:45
  All.
• 25:45
  Oh, I'm sorry.
• 25:46
  Before I even get into that, the thank you for my usual note of gratitude.
• 25:50
  Sorry for not telling y' all that I was going to take a break last week.
• 25:55
  I wanted to sit still and find a proper topic, and I didn't feel right just jumping on the mic just to talk last week.
• 26:03
  So I do apologize.
• 26:04
  But we back.
• 26:06
  And y' all know I can't do any podcast episode without thanking y' all for listening.
• 26:10
  So thank you for listening, boo.
• 26:11
  Friends, out of the tens of thousands of podcasts out there in podcast land since 2016, you leave me your ears whenever you felt like tapping in with your girl.
• 26:18
  And I really appreciate that.
• 26:19
  So I will catch you on the next episode.
• 26:22
  This has been another episode of the Spiritual Homegirl podcast.
• 26:24
  My name is Maria, your spiritual homegirl.
• 26:26
  And remember, boo friends, trust the journey, trust yourself, and whatever you do, do it with love.
• 26:31
  Okay?
• 26:31
  Love y'.
• 26:32
  All.
• 26:32
  Peace.