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Hormones Uncensored: Reclaim Your Desire After 40 and Gain Health · The Diva Details

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Welcome to the Diva Details. Welcome to the Diva Details.
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Where bold, confident women embrace life unapologetically.
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From love and sex to wellness and reinvention. We keep it raw, real, and powerful.
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Well, hello, this is Diva Mia, and today we're going to talk a little bit more about hormones.
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I got a lot of feedback after our last podcast, and people wanted to tell more,
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about hormones, what type of hormones they should be taking,
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and how it affects their overall body, not just their sexual health.
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We're going to dive right in.
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First, I wanted to talk a little bit about different ways you can actually take
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hormones. There are many different ways to get hormones into your body.
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I think a lot of people are afraid of taking hormones because they think they
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have to have an injection.
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But there are pills that you can take.
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There's creams, which are becoming very popular, especially since it has a lower
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impact on your liver. There's injections.
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And then there's a thing called a little pellet that you can have injected into
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your hip. It is a little painful, so if you're risk-averse from pain,
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I wouldn't recommend the pellet.
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But you can do multiple different ways of getting hormones into your body. So here's the thing.
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If you want to live a long life and have really good longevity,
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hormones are the way to go because hormones are going to impact every part of your body.
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It's going to impact your mind. It's going to impact your joints, your weight.
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If you're having difficulty losing weight, it may be a hormonal issue.
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And women over 40, as soon as you hit perimenopause, they're recommending now
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people, as soon as they hit 40, to start looking at possibly doing hormones.
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Because the other thing is, is you don't want your lack of libido to kill your marriage. And.
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A lot of women lose their libido during perimenopause and menopause.
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And if that happens to you, that could definitely impact your entire life.
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And you don't want hormones to change things that you don't want to have changed.
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Desires are going to change over time. Just realize that. And your arousal will
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change. Your orgasm will change.
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You may not get as wet if your hormones are not balanced.
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And the comfort around sex may change as well.
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But that doesn't mean your sex life is over. What you need to know is that if
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you fix the hormones in the right way, you may have more arousal. You may have more sex.
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You may enjoy it even more because sex after 40 is amazing.
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And women, I'm here to tell you my sex after 40, my sex after 50 has been freaking amazing.
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You don't have to worry about loss of desire because that will help.
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Now, there's also a thing called an O-shot. If you're having lack of arousal
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or desire or your orgasms are not functioning the way they used to,
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there's also a thing called a no-shot that you can do once in a while,
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depending on your needs.
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That helps with that as well. There's lots of modalities out there now,
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ladies, that will help you get to the point you need to rebalance yourself.
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It's not just sexual health because, you know, vaginal dryness is painful whether
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or not you're having sex or not.
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And it's painful on a daily basis. You're also going to not have as much emotional connection.
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If you're having emotional issues or you're sad or you're depressed,
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it may very well be your hormones. If you're feeling lost or that you don't
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know what you're doing, brain fog, all that stuff can be hormones.
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Don't let anyone shame you. Find the problem and root out the problem.
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Because if you've had significant changes over the last few years of the way
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you feel and the way you behave, it very well may be hormones.
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It's not a failure to go on hormones because a lot of people are on it.
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Hormones, and here's the other thing, is we have so much stress.
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We take on so much with our lives.
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All that stress is not good for our hormones either.
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So the extra cortisol may help you gain weight. And then if you're losing some
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of your other hormones, you may not be able to lose the weight.
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So realize that I know a lot of people are going on GLP-1s.
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And the thing is, is that if you go on GLP-1s, that's great.
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But what if the only issue you had was hormonal?
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Because some people going on GLP-1s are gaining weight back after.
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So if you want to avoid that situation, maybe look into your hormones first.
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Because if your hormones are broken, you get off the weight loss drug,
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you're going to gain the weight back anyway.
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It's just a transitioning time. you need to learn how to modify your transition.
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There's a lot going on. A lot of people have a lot of myths around hormones.
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And I think you really need to talk to a doctor.
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I think you need to talk to a functional medicine person. You need to be empowered
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to advocate for yourself.
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You have to advocate for yourself because the reality is, is most of the doctors
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out there, including like the
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OBGYNs, they don't know hormones like some functional medicine doctors.
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Someone that specializes in doing hormones may be better than your OBGYN.
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And a lot of people go to the regular doctor to get on hormones and they
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don't get it done right because you have to test so many different
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hormones in order to balance correctly and it's a process and
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you're going to have to get it rechecked and rechecked all the
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time and yes it's something you're going to have to
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be on for the rest of your life but i'd rather be on hormones and get my hormones
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checked than be on some antidepressants or be on some other type of i don't
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know a statin or high blood pressure and really all it was related to is those
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things mask the symptoms, I'd rather fix the root problem.
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So look at your hormones first because it usually is a root problem to a lot of other problems.
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And men, don't blame your wife if she's not as attracted to you right now.
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If she doesn't desire you as much, maybe you need to look in fixing her hormones.
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And you may have issues too.
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Men, you may have erectile dysfunction.
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Men need to be on hormones as well.
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Testosterone. I don't know any men that are after 50 right now that aren't on
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some form of testosterone, because it is something that is needed for
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by men. Or they can't function down there anymore, ladies. If their testosterone
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is low, they're not going to be able to function.
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And their sex drive is going to go down. Their muscle mass is going to start to waste away.
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They're going to get moody, okay? So just realize hormones are important for men as well.
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And then think of the distractions that are affecting you.
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If your desire is off and your hormones are balanced, do you have too much cortisol?
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Are you not interested anymore.
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Part of arousal is physical blood flow down there as well as lubrication.
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And if our hormones are off, we're not going to get that lubrication.
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And our sensitivity down there may change as well. So just realize that.
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And then orgasms are not just, for us, it's not just hormonal.
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It's not just sense. It's also mental.
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We focus so much on hormones.
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But you also have to be mentally able. And if you're depressed or if you're
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sad or if you have brain fog, you may not be in the mood. The orgasms may not come.
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Realize hormones can fix some of this as well.
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Realize just because you don't want sex all the time or spontaneously,
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that doesn't mean something's wrong with you.
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When we're in midlife, we got a lot going on. We got a lot going on in our minds.
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We may have kids going off to college.
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We may have changes to our bodies that we're trying to fix. So just realize,
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as midlife comes, desire may go up and down.
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The thing is, is you need to figure out what the root problem is.
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And if it's hormones, get it fixed, because it's an easy fix.
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And there's a myth out there that women should want sex the same way forever.
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Kind of when the change happens, some women want it more. Some women want it
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less. But it's up to you how much you want it.
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And you get to push or have sex as often as you want.
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Men don't always want sex either, just so you know. I have been in a relationship
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where I wanted sex way more than the man I was with. And it happens.
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And when that happens, you're like, wow, men don't want sex as much as you think.
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Because my desire was way higher than his. So realize that men don't always want sex.
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And sometimes when you see that, you're like, oh, maybe their testosterone is off.
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So think of that too, ladies. Sometimes you may be balanced, but your partner is not.
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So don't blame him or shame him either. Maybe he needs to talk to a hormone
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specialist as well. And we may crave sex more. We may crave sex less.
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It depends on the person.
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Everyone's different. And arousal may be different as well.
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But just because your hormones are imbalanced doesn't mean your desire is gone
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forever. It's just misunderstood. It will come back.
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You will be able to reignite your passion, and it will come back eventually.
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You just got to work on you for now.
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So let's talk specifically about the different types of hormones.
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Let's start first with estrogen. So estrogen is going to maintain your vaginal tissue thickness.
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It's going to offer lubrication, blood flow, elasticity.
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When estrogen drops, you get really dry. And I actually had this problem where
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I got dry and it was hard to walk because I would get chafed. It was so dry.
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And it's painful. It's painful with penetration. It can be painful just walking
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around. It also reduces your sensitivities.
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If you are dry, you're going to have less orgasms and you may have more UTIs.
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Estrogen is crucial to make sure everything flows down there easily and is lubricated.
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So make sure that your estrogen is balanced. Your progesterone is important for sleep.
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And a lot of times in our 40s and 50s, we're so busy doing everything,
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we get exhausted and we don't sleep well.
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So make sure you're taking progesterone at night.
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I like progesterone in a cream. Some people take it in pill form,
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but it does help regulate your mood.
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Because what happens is if you sleep better, you're going to be in a better mood as well.
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But if you have low progesterone, you're going to have anxiety.
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You're going to be irritable.
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So if you're complaining a lot or mad a lot, maybe it's time to go look at progesterone.
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And if your libido's low, it's probably progesterone.
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Sometimes I think that the people out there complaining all the time on the
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news and yelling at people, and I'm like, you guys need progesterone because
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you're always mad and always irritable and have so much anxiety.
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Go look at your progesterone. So testosterone, people think it's just for men.
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I don't know how many times I've heard women say, oh, I can't get on testosterone, it's for men.
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It's so not. So you need progesterone for your libido, but you also need testosterone for your libido.
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And it's important to have the right level of testosterone.
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Now, you're not going to be on as much testosterone as your partner,
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but it's needed for you to make sure that you have muscle mass,
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that you can have motivation. And it also increases sensitivity, ladies.
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So sometimes you get sensitive, you can fantasize about things,
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and it'll give you confidence that you may not have.
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Testosterone is a really good hormone and here's the
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thing the biggest thing beyond sex we
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need muscle mass because every year we lose muscle mass after we try i think
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it's like 25 we start losing muscle mass and if we're not lifting weights if
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we're not exercising we're going to lose muscle mass but we need testosterone
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to put it on and it also adds to our bone strength testosterone is super crucial,
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and our testosterone peaks in our 20s.
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So after that, it starts to decline. And as the testosterone declines, so does our muscle mass.
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And by the time we hit menopause, and I think this is the biggest thing,
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why a lot of women no longer desire sex during menopause.
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By the time we hit menopause, 50 to 70% of our testosterone is gone.
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For men, it's about 30% by the time they hit menopause, as they call it.
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But for women, it's 50% to 70%, and most doctors won't even test you for it.
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Most of your OBGYNs or your regular doctors, they won't test you for it.
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And if you've lost 70% of your testosterone, and your bones start to get weak,
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and you start breaking bones and hips, it's going to decrease your lifespan.
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Testosterone, you need to keep your muscle mass going. So I think it's one of
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the crucial ones, just as crucial as estrogen and progesterone.
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Now, be careful with the estrogen. Don't overdo the estrogen because you don't
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want too much estrogen as well because you can push yourself back into a period status.
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Be careful with the estrogen. It actually happened to me. I had too much estrogen
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when we were balancing my hormones and my period started again.
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So just realize that can happen.
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But hormones affect your arousal. If your testosterone is low,
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you're not going to have as much blood flow down to your lady parts.
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When that happens, you're not going to get aroused.
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Arousal is crucial for orgasms, as we all know. Then also everything,
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the sensitivity down there will decline.
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Your orgasms may, you may have less orgasms. You may only have one orgasm or
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two orgasms, whereas you used to have three or four during a sexual encounter.
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Or maybe you don't have any.
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Realize that your hormones do matter. It also changes the way your brain signals down there.
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It all matters with testosterone.
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Make sure that you understand,
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Keep your mindset around your hormones, but keep them in balance.
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Balance for you may be different than balance for me. That's why it's important
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to start during perimenopause, because perimenopause is about 10 years before menopause.
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And that's when the hormonal chaos actually begins.
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And once that chaos begins, you have to quickly get your hormones back in balance.
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Because by the time you're postmenopausal, you may have lost your desire completely.
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And it can be very hard to come back. If you're postmenopausal and you lose
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all your desire, you may not get it back.
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And I know a lot of women that are in their 50s and 60s and 70s,
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and they're like, they don't want to have sex anymore.
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And a lot of it, I think, is due to their hormones.
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They got a lot of UTIs because their estrogen was too low.
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Then their desire went down because their progesterone and their testosterone was too low.
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So if that happens to you and you lose your desire and your libido,
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you lose your sexual health. Sexual health is very important.
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It gives you joy, happiness, release.
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Otherwise, you get pent up. Realize that you need to balance your hormones in perimenopause.
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It also helps maintain the tissue health as well. The hormones do.
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You need to keep it active. I know a lot of people say, oh, I haven't had sex
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in so long. I have cobwebs down there.
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There's no truth to that, but at some point, the tissue will get more brittle.
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So make sure that you keep your libido, you keep your hormones up,
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and you do have regular sexual encounters if you are in a relationship.
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But don't ignore the symptoms because the symptoms show us there's a problem.
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A lot of people say, oh, I'm just aging or, you know, maybe I'm just sad and
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depressed. They don't realize the reality is you're not sad,
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depressed. You're not lost.
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Your hormones are just really out of whack.
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Menopause is not the problem. Sometimes it's just unmanaged perimenopause that
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is. Get that in check as quickly as you can.
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And then talk to your men, because men need their testosterone too.
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And they lose about a percentage of testosterone every year after the age of 30.
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So if you have a 50-year-old man, he's lost 20%. If you have a 60-year-old man,
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he's lost 30%. So realize that losing their testosterone is going to affect
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them. Their libido will go down.
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They're going to have erectile issues. They may not be able to keep a heart
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on. They may have fatigue.
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They may be tired. You see them falling asleep in chairs and recliners all the
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time. That's a fatigue related to low testosterone.
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And then they may get depressed and sad because their manliness is going down
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and their mood has shifted because of the lack of testosterone.
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And they have less confidence.
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They have confidence in their sexual well-being. They have less confidence in
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who they are. But Viagra doesn't fix it.
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A lot of people say, oh, I'll just go get some Viagra. Viagra doesn't fix it.
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All that does is increase blood flow. It does not increase desire.
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If the desire is not there, they're still not going to want to have sex.
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If they don't fix the testosterone deficiency, they're going to have muscle mass loss.
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They're going to have muscle wasting, and then they're going to be depressed and sad.
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They may have erectile dysfunction. But
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Once you get your testosterone optimized and then you support it with DHEA,
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DHEA is a good support because that helps balance your hormones.
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Then for men as well, they should get their thyroid checked and their cortisol
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checked because a lot of men, their thyroid and their cortisol levels are out
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of whack in their 40s and 50s.
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And that stress can affect all the hormones. It can affect their weight gain.
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You see a lot of dad bods out there where men are gaining weight around the
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middle and it's because they have high cortisol levels. And then women,
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we need to help our men along this journey because a lot of men don't like to go to the doctor.
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That's the truth. Women, we get started when we're younger. We do our annuals
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with our OBGYN. When we hit 40, we're doing our mammograms.
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Men tend to avoid it. They may only go five or five years or so.
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I've seen it happen more often than not. So you've got to help men normalize
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that, you know, this is part of life.
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It's normal. It's a normal decline that we can fix. but you're going to have
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to go to the doctor on a regular basis and get your hormones checked.
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Because women, we're going to notice the changes before they do,
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because a lot of times men don't pay attention to their bodies.
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They don't pay attention to what's going on.
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And we have to make it about health for them, not sexual performance.
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Say, look, honey, you've got to keep your muscle mass up, or you're going to start to decline.
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You've got to keep your mental acuity up, or you're going to start to decline.
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And men will get brain fog, and they won't remember stuff, and their memories
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will start to decline when they have low testosterone.
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Some people think, oh, I'm getting early onset Alzheimer's.
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But it may just be a hormonal issue. If they want to live a long and healthy
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and vital life, they're going to have to work on their hormones too.
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And if you do an appointment together with the functional doctor,
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they can work on both of you at the same time.
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So your sex hormones not only affect your sexual habits and your libido and
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your sexual desire and your dryness and wetness, it also affects your brain health.
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It affects your mood on so many levels.
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I know so many people that have imbalanced hormones and they are depressed, They have anxiety.
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They're anxious. They forget things.
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Remember, these sex hormones also affect your daily motivation to get stuff
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done. If you have no motivation, you feel lost, you're unhappy,
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maybe it's not the job. Maybe it's your sex hormones.
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And then on top of it, you've got muscle wasting and bone density loss if you
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don't have good sex hormones, which could, you know, at least osteoporosis and
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you could be hunched over. You can't build muscle mass.
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Now, granted, you're not going to just take the sex hormones and become a bodybuilder.
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You've got to lift the weights too, but you need the hormones in order to maintain the muscle mass.
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Then your cardiovascular health is important too.
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Your cardiovascular health for your heart is affected by hormones.
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And your cognitive clarity, how you can talk to people. You have a lot of men
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in their 40s and 50s that are saying, Oh, I don't remember you doing that.
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Or, Oh, I don't remember doing that. Or, I don't remember eating that.
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Or, I don't remember saying that. Some of it is hormonal.
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And it's one of the first signs that they're having a lot of hormonal.
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Now, I get it, ladies. You're probably thinking, my guy says that all the time
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and always says he doesn't listen.
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And you think it's because he's not listening to you. It may very well be.
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A cognitive decline due to lack of hormones.
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So just remember that. They're not ignoring you. They just don't remember because of their hormones.
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Things aren't registering right because beyond the brain fog,
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it can cause severe depression if your hormones are off.
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Anxiety, insulin resistance, that happens to men and women.
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There's a lot of women gain a lot of weight when their hormones decline.
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So the hormone balance is super crucial.
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And later in life, if you don't fix it when you're in your 40s,
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50s, and 60s, by the time you're 70 or 80, you're hunched over,
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you're frail, and you break a hip.
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So don't be that person. I want you to live a long, strong, healthy life where
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you can take care of yourself.
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And the hormones seem to be the key to one of the components to make sure that happens.
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And then there's a hormone balance because the hormone balance,
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once you get level, you're going to have a better quality of life,
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not just quantity. The life you live is going to be much happier and healthier.
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And you may stave off some diseases that you might have had earlier.
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You may not have high blood pressure. You may not have high cholesterol because
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you've got heart health.
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Your cardiovascular health goes up with their correct hormones.
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Your sexual desire stays high. Your marriage is happier. Your relationships are happier.
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And if you have sexual desire, it's a sign you have vitality in your life,
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that you're strong inside.
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It's not a luxury. It's a must. It's a must in life. Now, when you go to get
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a doctor, this is important because you need to advocate for yourself.
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And a lot of, again, primary care physicians and OBGYNs, they don't do hormone analysis in detail.
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Most of the doctors are functional medicine doctors. Now, you can find it sometimes
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in integrative physicians.
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They will do it as well. But if you're going to your gynecologist,
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they have to be a hormone-literate gynecologist that specializes in hormones.
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If they're not, I don't recommend gynecologists.
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And then there's also endocrinologists who treat symptoms, but they're just more lab ranges.
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I would think the functional medicine and the integrative doctors are your two best options.
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And make sure that you ask for a comprehensive medical panel or blood panel for your hormones.
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You need to test your estradol. Sometimes they do a spit test.
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Sometimes they do a blood test.
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Heck, sometimes there's even a urine test for some of this stuff, but...
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You need to get a panel done for estradol, progesterone, testosterone.
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HEA is important too. That's a balancer, a hormonal balancer.
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Cortisol and thyroid, check them all.
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Because if your labs are normal but your systems persist, there may be something
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off or maybe you're not in the normal range.
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And that's why seeing a specialist and getting your hormones run early and then
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checked again later on is important.
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Because if you go to a doctor and they say, we're not going to talk to you about
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doing your hormones, it's a red flag. If they say we don't want to run testosterone
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for you because you're a woman, huge red flag. Because they don't understand
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hormones. If they don't understand testosterone, it's so important for women.
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Because one size doesn't fit all and each woman is different,
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you need to make sure you go to a specialist, a doctor that's going to actually address your issues.
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Let's talk a little bit about a couple alternatives to hormones.
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So black ginger is one of them.
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Black ginger for men, it's going to help with circulation. And it's for both
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men and women. and it's going to help your libido.
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Black ginger is becoming more and more popular.
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It was started in Thailand is where the popularity of it came from,
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I believe, but it's growing in popularity, and it can also help with erectile
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function, but it does take a while to build up in your system.
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Maca root is a good one, too. It's a big one because desire,
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and it causes energy, and if you're having libido issues as well,
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maca root might be something you take in a tea form.
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There's a lot of ways to take some of these supplements that can help with your
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libido, that can help with your energy levels.
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A lot of these you can take as well as while you're on hormone therapy, okay?
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And these are non-HRT. So remember, a lot of the natural stuff you're going
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to have to take over time.
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And female hormonal support, if you take Shatavari, that's really good for your
23:00
hormonal support if you're a woman.
23:02
Now, there's a lot of hormonal supplements out there.
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Not all are created equal, so do your homework.
23:07
But there's a lot of, like, balancing female supplements that you can start
23:10
there if you're younger.
23:11
But I still recommend you get a baseline of where your hormones are so you can keep an eye on it.
23:16
And then for both men and women, tribulus is good for your libido,
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especially if you're finding that you have really low libido.
23:23
Tribulus is great for that, for both men and women. And everybody should be
23:27
making sure their zinc and magnesium are balanced.
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Zinc and magnesium are crucial. Now, don't take too much zinc.
23:33
And magnesium is crucial to so many bodily functions and hormone synthesis.
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So make sure you're on magnesium. You can also check that when you check your
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hormones as well as your vitamin D.
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Very important. And then omega-3s will help with inflammation and blood flow.
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Omega-3s, as we get older, they're kind of a requirement. I think they used
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to be a luxury, but now it's becoming more and more a requirement as you get
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older if you want to have any type of longevity.
23:56
So if you like tea, I know I'm a big tea drinker at night, but spearmint helps your hormonal balance.
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Red clover is phytoestrogen.
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So there's different types of teas that will help.
24:10
Ginger and cinnamon helps with circulation as well as the cinnamon helps with
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a little bit of fat loss. And ashwagandha is good for men and women.
24:16
It's a good cortisol balancer and a stress reliever. And a lot of people are
24:20
taking ashwagandha as a supplement form as well as teas now.
24:23
So there is a lot of alternatives, but natural does not mean it's weak either.
24:28
So don't overdo it. Don't say, oh, I'm going to have ashwagandha 10 times a
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day and then wonder why, you know, you're sleeping because your cortisol is way out of balance now.
24:36
Or you do too much experiment and your hormones get out of balance,
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you have to check your own hormones too.
24:40
If you're going to go the natural route 100%, keep an eye on your hormones naturally.
24:45
Supplements support, but they're not a good replacement if you have a severe
24:48
deficiency, especially if you're getting older. Some people's hormones drop faster than others.
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Don't expect that these supplements are going to completely replace your need for testosterone, etc.
24:59
Your sexual health is not optional. Your sexual health is important for your
25:03
vitality, is your physical health and your nutritional health and the sexual
25:09
health is very, very important.
25:11
Hormones are not just about sex. They're about how alive you feel in your body.
25:15
You need to advocate for yourself and include your partner through all this,
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but get educated. Start early and get educated.
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If you're educated about this, you should have a much longer,
25:25
much healthier, much happier life.
25:27
But don't accept that decline is how it is because I think that's changing.
25:32
I think we're all now looking and saying, oh my gosh, I can live well into my
25:37
50s. I can live well into my 60s.
25:39
I can be a bodybuilder. I have a bodybuilder friend that I had on the podcast
25:42
that was 69 and she started bodybuilding 73 or 74 now. She looks amazing.
25:49
She looks better than a lot of 20-year-olds. Realize that you don't have to
25:52
accept decline as part of your life.
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I think I'm gonna wrap it up there. I think I've described a lot.
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This is gonna give you a lot to think about. Hopefully you took notes on this one.
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And I wish you the best. We'll keep covering hormones here and there,
26:05
but this will give you a good outline or a framework that you can build upon
26:09
and that you can grow upon and get the lifestyle that you need in order to survive
26:14
and thrive your entire life.
26:16
This is Diva Mia. Hope you have a wonderful week. Take care.
26:21
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