Latest / KCMS Spirit 105.3 / Passion Meets Purpose with Sarah Taylor - The Counselor and the Coach with Maryann Stigen, Part 1

Transcript

Passion Meets Purpose with Sarah Taylor - The Counselor and the Coach with Maryann Stigen, Part 1 · KCMS Spirit 105.3

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Purposely.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Your life.
• 0:04
  Speaker 3: God's purpose.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Listen at Purposely.com.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: Maybe you have to lose something. Maybe the people who
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: take the greatest risks in life have lost so much
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: or have felt so much pain that the option of
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: staying is too uncomfortable. So I might as well try
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: something totally different and take a chance.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Her name is Marianne Steegan. And I am so excited
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: that you are joining us for a conversation. Her story
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: is powerful. I've already decided that not only will she
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: be my podcast guest, but I'm going to save her
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: number in my phone for life because I have found
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: a friend and you are about to do the same.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: By day, she is a licensed mental health counselor, particularly
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: with emphasis in the areas of relationship trauma, betrayal trauma,
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: and codependency. But don't let those big, heavy words influence you.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: She has a big heart, a big laugh. and lights
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: up the room. And I'm sure you're going to hear
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: that as well as she tells her story. Marianne, welcome.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: to be here.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Now, I mentioned about your day job, but also you
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: wake up with the sun because you're also, you are
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: a homesteader, you are a farmer. What's your animal count
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: right now?
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: Oh, my gosh. What is it? I don't know. How
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: many chickens? Countless chickens. We had turkeys.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: Unfortunately, an eagle and a coyote picked.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: the last two off of those.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: But we have many donkeys, Jane Austen and Sweet Pea.
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: And we have six goats currently.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: And three dogs. And three dogs, yes. And a partridge
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: in a pear tree.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: When Marianne showed up today, she did something no guest
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: has ever done. I have a canvas tote filled with
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: tomato jam that you canned yourself. You grew the tomatoes.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Homemade turkey bone broth. Smoked turkey bone broth, according to
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: the label. Which she said, cold and flu season is
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: coming up.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: You're going to need this. And then a chutney. Yes,
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: an autumn chutney.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: So it's with our pears and our apples from our trees.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: And it's really good over meat or, you know, cream.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Cheese with crackers.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: My time machine worked.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: You're going to laugh.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: And our office fridge has never been cooler.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Oh, my gosh. You're going to love it. Yeah. All right.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: So I want you to take us back to your
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: childhood because the arc of your story is inspirational with
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: some of the gifts and talents that the Lord tucked
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: into you at an early age. But some of the
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: things that you had to endure and overcome in order
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: to get where you are. I want to share a
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: quote that you shared with me. And then I'd love
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: you to just kind of start at the beginning of
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: your story.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: So this is the quote.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: When I asked Marianne kind of the theme of what
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: we were going to talk about today, she began with
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: a Charles Spurgeon quote. Whenever God means to make a
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: man great, he always breaks him in pieces first.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: You know, I'm so blessed and privileged, honored to be
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: a counselor. And the reality is that I don't think
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: I could do it if I didn't have the story
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: that I have, right?
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: If I didn't understand.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: brokenness, if I didn't understand depression and anxiety and all
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: of that, I just don't think I would be nearly
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: as effective. And so, yeah, growing up, we grew up
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: in a broken home. We jokingly say we put the
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: fun in dysfunctional. Myself and my siblings, so I'm the
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: youngest of five. And my dad was in the Air Force.
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: He was quite the ladies man in the Air Force,
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: I guess would be a polite way of saying it.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: He was a great dad to us, but he was
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: not a great husband to my mom, to put it
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: that way. And so my mom, she worked a lot
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: to try to make up the difference for when my
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: dad would be overseas.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: I was so young. I don't remember a lot of it.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: A lot of it is just my siblings kind of
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: filling me in on things as to what happened.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: But life was hard.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: And I know that my older siblings got into some
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: bad crowds in Southern California where I was born at
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: March Air Force Base. And so my mom basically gave
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: my dad an ultimatum, like, we need to get out
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: of here. We need to go somewhere else. So he said,
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: the only places that are open are like out of
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: nowhere in Altus, Oklahoma. And so she said, well, we're
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: going to Oklahoma. So we go and I actually have
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: some really fond childhood memories there. But also that's where
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: my parents officially get divorced. A very contentious, ugly divorce.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: My brother ends up taking his life while we're there,
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: while we're living there. He did it somewhere else, but
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: so we lost him. And it was just a really,
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: there was a lot of darkness and a lot of
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: mental health issues. My mom was really struggling. My dad
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: struggled in a different way. It just wasn't as obvious.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: But there was just.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: A lot of a lack of safety, a lack of predictability.
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: I tell my clients now, I'm like, if they're control enthusiasts,
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: because we don't say they're freaks, we just say they're
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: enthusiastic about control, right? So if you're a control enthusiast,
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: like me, as my husband coined that term, it's probably
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: because you came from a lot of unpredictability, a lack
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: of safety. And so When you don't know what's coming,
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: knowing what's coming feels safe, right? So that's who we
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: grow up to be, people who tend to like to
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: control for things and predict all factors. So my dad
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: ends up getting custody of us because during the court proceedings,
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: I just remember the judge asking me, you know, who
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: do you want to live with?
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  Speaker 1: And I said, both.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: And he said, well, of course, you know, but if
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: you had to pick. And I said, my mom, because
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: I think my sisters and I were all kind of
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: worried about how that would impact my mom if she
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: didn't have us. But the truth was, you know, I was,
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: I grew up being pretty scared of my mom because
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: she was the, she was the disciplinarian and she, she
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: came from a horrible situation. I have a lot of
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: grace for that because her mom was married 10 times.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: Her mom never told her that she loves her to
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: my mom's memory. So she came from a really hard situation.
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: So my mom did the best that she could with
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: what she had. And my older siblings say that she
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: actually was just a phenomenal mom before the later years
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: kind of took over with the stress of being married
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: to my dad. So I said, I want to live
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: with my mom except sometimes when she goes crazy. And
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: that apparently was it, right? The judge was like, these
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: girls are going to their dad. And so I really
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: wanted to live with my dad. He was the fun one.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: And so he took us. moved back to California to
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: be near his family, near his mom and his sister
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: and my cousin. And that's where we pretty much lived
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: out our days. Obviously, he's a single dad, so he doesn't,
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: we didn't have a lot of the things that people
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: growing up with a mom had.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: I mean, I didn't know what.
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: Going school shopping for clothes was like. I mean, I
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: had clothes that would last me from junior high through
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: senior year of high school, right? I mean, I didn't,
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: and it wasn't that he was malicious or you know
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: abusive or anything like that he just we didn't know
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: any different he didn't know any different we just that's
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: what it was you know a dad raising three girls
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: and so um he did have addictions he died from
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: his cigarette addiction in 2008 um he was a gambling
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: addict he had other addictions you know involving women and
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: things like that I didn't know any of this until
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: I got into grad school and started studying it right
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: but I was like oh my gosh that's You know,
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: my dad struggled with a lot, but he just I
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: don't think anybody had terms for it. So I learned
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: a lot about my family through school. But, yeah, it
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: was a really unsafe neighborhood. We had we lived in
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: what I would say is the ghetto of Southern California.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: I mean, we lived on a very busy street. We
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: constantly had cars broken into. We would call it the
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: ghetto bird, which is the helicopter that would fly around everywhere.
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: putting spotlights in your windows, looking for people. We had
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: our landlord in this apartment complex that we grew up in.
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: He got jumped down by the dumpster one day. And
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: it was a gated complex, but it was still, it
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: didn't matter, right? So it was just a very unsafe feeling.
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: We just never really had that sense. I couldn't relate
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: to my friends who had both parents at home, you know,
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: both living together, loving each other, speaking well of each other,
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  Speaker 3: building each other up. My mom did thankfully introduce us
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: to church and to the Bible early on. And so,
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: praise God. God just had His hand on us the
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: whole time. We should have grown up to be absolute hooligans, right? Like,
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: we should have grown up to be, I don't even know.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: I mean, really anything, right? But just all kinds of— God
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: really protected us.
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  Speaker 1: So— I went on to school.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: I went on to undergrad even though I didn't want
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: to because school was not my thing. I loved being
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: there for the social aspect. So even when I was younger,
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: you know, I would get put out into the principal's
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: office for talking and disturbing others. Excessive talking disturbs others.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: That was on every single progress report of mine.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Same. Look at the Lord. Look at what the Lord does.
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  Speaker 3: Now I get paid to disturb the spirit in others
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: and talk excessively. It's just so great. God's sense of
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: humor is so amazing. So, but yeah, I would get
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: in trouble for that. But I was also quite, but
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: the performer, I remember being sent to the principal's office
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: to perform for the principal, like sing a Beatles song.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: So I kind of just, school felt very safe. And
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: so I loved being there. It was also very easy.
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: Praise the Lord for that. It was easy for my
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: sisters and I, we were really good students. So we
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: were really good kids. But, yeah, I just talked a lot.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: I really came alive at school.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: I loved being there. I just did not understand why
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: we were there to do schoolwork, you know? Yeah. So
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: that's pretty much the childhood bit.
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  Speaker 2: And then you– so you were, I think, Cal Poly
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: to start, and you got a communications degree, and you
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: switched– you originally wanted to do psychology. Yes. But there
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: was one class that.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: Stood in your way. Yes.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: So I was originally really drawn to psychology as an
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: undergrad degree, and I was. I was on the track
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: for psychology, and then I had this six-hour-a-week, two three-hour
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: chunks of statistics. And I was just, you know, my
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: sisters were like, my sisters are so good at school.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: And they're like, oh, statistics is easy. It's the easiest math.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, my gosh, not for three hours,
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: you know, twice a week. And even though I had
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: an amazing professor, she was Vera Dunwoody was her name.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: She was amazing.
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: She had everybody take a personality test when you first
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: got to class, and then she would group you according
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: to your learning style. And so you got to move
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: around if you needed to, sit in beanbag chairs for
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: exams if you needed to. She was just amazing. But
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: even so, I was like, this is not where it's at.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: So I thought, you know what? I cannot do anything
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: with psychology unless I go to grad school. And there's
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: graduate statistics over there. So I'm good, right? I was like,
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to do this. And so I switched
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: to communications, to organizational communication studies. And I'm like, I'm
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: just going to go, you know, I'm just maybe I'll
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: work in radio. Maybe I'll work, you know, for a
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: PR firm advertising. So I did that. And the Lord
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: blessed it, you know, switching the degree. I mean, he
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: blessed it. But obviously it's not it wasn't what I
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: was made for.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: So, yeah. So that what what.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: Marianne just shared will prove to be a very interesting
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: and important point later on in her story. But why
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: don't you go ahead and take me to, you already
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: alluded to this, but you had one quarter left to
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: complete your bachelor's degree in communications.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: And that's when your father passed.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: So my, man, that was such a blur to even
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: think about that time period because I was working a
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: couple jobs. I was taking maximum units in school, really
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: trying to get my degree finished. And he was in
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: hospice at the VA. And then he passed away one
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: quarter before I was able to finish my degree. And
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: that was, you know, huge. I mean, that was— I didn't
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: even know.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: How to grieve.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: I actually— I had this conversation with the Lord where— I
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: said to him, and this is just really crazy to
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: think about now, but I said to him, I was like, Lord,
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: I know that if I do this your way, it's
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: going to hurt. And I don't think I can drop
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: one ball because all the balls will drop. So I'm
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: going to do this my way. And I'm going to
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: like put you on the back burner for now. And
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: it wasn't that I was denying him. It wasn't that
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: I was, you know, no longer a believer in Jesus,
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: but I just had this very like real conversation with
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: him like, I can do this the way that you
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: want me to do this. I'm going to distract myself, right? Like, otherwise,
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: I just don't know how I'm going to keep going.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: And so I did.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: So I had this period of time where I got
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: into the wrong crowd. You know, everybody, we were all
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: in the restaurant crowd and bartending and all of.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: That kind of stuff.
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: And so I just ended up doing a lot of
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: things that I'm not proud of, but really just, yeah,
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: you wouldn't have been able to tell I was a
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: Christian for that period of time, right? Because of the
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: people I was hanging out with and the things that
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: I was doing. But ultimately when my dad died, it
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: made a way for us to each have some inheritance.
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: And I looked at that as like my get out
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: of jail card. Like I'm going to finally leave this area.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: And go find somewhere that I just feel like more
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: life is at, right? Because I was so depressed. It
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: was really an oppressive place. Very uninspiring. And I had
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: a big imagination because my sisters and I, we were
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: alone a lot growing up. So we had really big imaginations. And,
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: you know, that's who I was on the inside. And
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: so I was like, I'm just not made for this area.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm just not made for this.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: What did you think you were made for?
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Oh, man. I was just made for the life that
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: I have now. Praise God.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: Truly.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: It's like, it's really, really humbling.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: It's like so, it's so deep and personal for me,
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: like just to, oh my gosh, it's the things that
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: God can do, you know, like the things that He
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: can do in our lives, how He can, He, I
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: really do believe that He puts the desire there because
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: He intends to fulfill it, right? So we think You know,
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: a lot of people are like, oh, you can manifest
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: this or that. I'm like, no, that's not really it.
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: You know, it's he creates the desires in our heart
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: if we're in relationship with him and he will see
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: them through. Like he's going to naturally gear us towards that.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: And so now I, you know, I feel safer than
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: I've ever felt in my entire life. We have a
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: little farm on Whidbey Island, which is such a magical place.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: And yeah. It's safe. I've never felt so safe before.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: And let's talk about the bridge to get from unsafe
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: to safe. You were talking about how that inheritance money
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: was your get out of jail free card. So I
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: know that you you asked your mom to pick anywhere
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: in the world that she would like to go with
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: that money and that you would take her on a trip.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: And she chose a cruise to Alaska, which exposed you
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: to the, what is it.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: The port?
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: Is that what we call it down here in Seattle?
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we flew into Seattle. And then we took like
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: a motor coach up to Vancouver, B.C. to get on
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: this cruise ship. And so we're like, first of all,
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: we're flying in. Anytime you fly into the L.A. area,
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: you pass through a thick ring of smog. You know,
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: it's like, whoa, we're flying into dirt, right? So landing
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: in Seattle, I was like, look at all this water.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: Look at these trees. I mean, it right away felt
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: like a fairy tale to me. It wasn't something I
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: was used to. And so Northern California is gorgeous, but Southern,
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: you know, is a whole different thing. And so we
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: land and then we get on this motor coach and
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: we head up to Vancouver. And that whole drive, right,
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: up I-5 is just beautiful. And I'm like, oh, my gosh,
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: people live here.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: And it was June.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: I want to say it was like June 30th and
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: like 70 degrees. And we had just left an oven
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: in Southern California where you open your door and you
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: get hit with, you know, 110 degrees.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: I can't think of a better day to land in
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: Seattle than June 30th.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: It was so great.
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, this is real. Like this exists. People
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: have summers like this. I just couldn't even fathom it.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: Right. So.
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: Um, my mom actually, after we wrapped up our Alaska cruise,
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: she was like, I think you could live here. And
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: I was like, I think I could live here too.
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: And sure enough, I go back home and I moved
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: up in August. So it was very, very quick. I mean,
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: I went home, packed up, you know, our apartment that
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: we were raised in, that we lived in, um, packed
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: everything up. I had some good friends that came and
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: helped me. And then my best friend at the time
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: said she was going to come too, which was amazing
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: because she wanted to be a teacher and It was
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: kind of a dire situation for teachers down there at
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: that time.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: So we literally pack up our car and drove through.
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: Wildfires at night, like hills on fire next to us
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: as we are heading up north to the Seattle area.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: What did that drive feel like?
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: Surreal.
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: I mean, totally surreal. It just felt, I was like, wow,
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: I'm actually doing this. And, you know, I had a
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: going away party and stuff with my friends and everything.
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: And I remember one of my friends saying, you know,
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: I wish I was brave enough to do this. And
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: I'm just like, you know, now I'm thinking like maybe
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: you just have to lose something. Maybe you have to
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: lose something. Maybe the people who take the greatest risk
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: in life have lost so much or have felt so
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: much pain that the option of staying is too uncomfortable.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: So I might as well try something totally different and
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: take a chance.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: So you get up here.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: How do you decide where to live? What to do,
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: where to work.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: Oh my goodness.
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: So I looked at places in Auburn and I remember
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: it was an apartment in Auburn. And I asked the
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: lady who was showing me around, I said, so how
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: often do cars get broken into? Because that's where I
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: came from, right? So this is like my, this is
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: unfortunately my standard.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: I'm like, how often do cars get broken into? And
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: she was like, not that often. And I'm like, nope,
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: I'm good.
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: And so I hit the highway again and then I
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: ended up in Bellevue. And keep in mind, I knew nothing, right?
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: I know nothing about this area. I know nothing about anything, right?
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't even know a person up here, okay?
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: So then I roll into Bellevue and I look at
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: this amazing place that's on Mercer Slough and... it's like
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: extravagantly expensive.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for frame of reference for someone listening that's not
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: in Washington State, she's now beginning to describe like where
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: Bill Gates.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: Has a house.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: Keep going.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: We're in the bougie part, right?
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: Like, so I went from, you know, this less than
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: bougie part to a very bougie part of Washington and And,
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: you know, all the Microsoft people and everything. And so
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: I'm like, wow, this is really expensive, but this is
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: really nice.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: And he was willing. And I'm like, let me just
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: go look at one more place.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: Let me go just check. So I hit Highway.
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: 9 and I roll in through Snohomish, the farmland of Snohomish.
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: And I see barns.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, I can't believe this is real life. Like,
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: I can't believe there's barns. Right.
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: This was just amazing to me. And to me, it
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: just felt like heaven. I mean, the sun comes out
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: and hits all this greenery and there's a river and
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: there's charming shops and you know how cute Snohomish is.
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: And so keep on going. And then I go and
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: I meet this woman in Lake Stevens who happened to
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: know the Lord and it was just a done deal.
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: She had a duplex for rent and really safe little area,
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: super sweet area in Lake Stevens. And I was like,
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: where do I sign? So that's where we started out.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: We started out in Lake Stevenson. It was just, I
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: was like, I don't think I'd ever been happier, truly.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: You pick up a couple of jobs to pay the bills,
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: and then you eventually turn to some online dating, which
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: proved successful for you. Yes.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: Praise the Lord for that. Yeah, so I jumped on
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: one of the websites. I think it was plentyoffish.com. I
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: don't even know if that's around.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: You are kidding me.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: That's a real thing?
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: Well, it was. It was. I don't even know if
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: it's around anymore.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: Maybe all the good fish got snatched up.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: All the good fish, girl. Man, I tell you what.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: So... Of course, a husband from Alaska would be on plentyoffish.com.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: And here's the funny thing.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: So this is how shady I was because I was
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: not into the Seattle situation because I saw a lot
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: of guys.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: Let's just say I just didn't think the Seattle style
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: was my jam.
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: You know, it wasn't it just wasn't going to do
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: it for me. But I went because I had been
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: to Alaska with my mom.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you know what? I could go for like.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: a lumberjack, right? Like, I want... It's like, I want, like.
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: A manly man, right? I want a man who knows
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: how to do some stuff, you know?
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: Like, you can....
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: So what I did was I actually I created a
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: profile in Anchorage, Alaska.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: And then within my profile, I.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: Said, hi, I actually live in the Seattle area, but
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: it's not that long of a flight, you know, whatever.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: So I was fishing in Alaska.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: That's where I was fishing. I was fishing. You do
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: what you got to do.
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: And praise the Lord. I mean, he's like his profile picture.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: He's like in a white T-shirt jeans with two chocolate labs.
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: you know, sitting on a front porch. And he's like,
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: you know, sometimes I steal my niece's chocolate chip cookies.
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: I'm like, who is this guy?
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: Right? Who is this guy?
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: Anyway, so we, he started flying down here. No, actually,
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: I think I flew up there. I flew up there
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: to meet him first. And I met his entire family
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: all in one weekend. Because remember, you're brave if you've
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: had a lot of stuff in your life, right?
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: So I fly up there. I meet them.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: They were all really, really lovely and hospitable. And Then
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: he starts making trips down here. And I want to
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: say we were engaged pretty quickly. I want to say
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: we dated for, like, maybe a year. And then we were,
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: I think, maybe even married. We're coming up on 13.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: That doesn't strike me. I mean, I feel like when
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: you know and you're knower, I mean, that still feels
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: like a good amount of time to get to know somebody.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: Yes. Yes, you're right.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: So I.
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: Anyway, so then he moved down here and my roommate
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: moved out.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: He moved in.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: And, yeah, then we started having these ideas of, like,
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: buying a house with some land because his dream animal
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: was goats.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, what? Like, really?
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: Goats?
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: And mine were mini donkeys. And so we have both.
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: And I can tell you they're probably the most ungrateful
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: animals on planet Earth. They are so spoiled. But, yeah,
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: we both got our dream animals. Although I really want
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: a highland cow, actually.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, who doesn't? I know. They're so cute.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: But the thing is, so the Alaskan is like we're
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: only from this point on. raising things we're going to eat, right?
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: Things that we can sustain ourselves with, which makes so
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: much sense and I totally support. And he's like, are
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: you going to eat a Highland cow? And I'm like,
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: slim to none, right? That would be really tough because
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: it would be so cute.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: Just tell him it's good for the business because you
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: can take photographs because everybody wants photographs of Highland cows.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: Agritourism.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: So it's a business investment. We want agritourism.
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: I got you.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: So you have a story about you were still in
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: that place of commuting in rush hour traffic, working those
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: odd jobs. You hadn't yet found the path to this
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: dream job. Like we keep talking about kind of the
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: promised land that you found and then backtracking a little
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: bit to not there yet. And one of the stories
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: that really stands out to me was A lot of
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: people can relate to this. Stuck in rush hour traffic,
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: headed to a job that does not bring you fulfillment,
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: and having one of those moments of, I can't do
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: this anymore. So talk to me about what you said
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: to Jesus and talk to me about what he said back.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: Oh, my goodness.
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: So I was commuting to downtown, stuck in traffic, which,
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: you know, Seattleites, they're stuck in traffic.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: I don't remember. It's something like 60 hours of their
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: life a year, right, is in traffic.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: And I'm pulling on to the freeway and I just
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: have this moment of like, God, I know you made
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: me for more than this, right? I'm like, I know
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: you made me for more than this. And I'm talking
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: out loud in my car and I'm just.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: Like, what is it?
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: I was like, what do you want me to do?
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: You know, I want a purposeful life. I had actually,
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: ever since I was little, really wanted a purposeful life.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: And I had prayed for that, like since I was young.
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, Lord, I just want my life to count, right?
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, what do you want me to do?
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: I just surrender. I give it to you. What do
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: you want me to do?
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: And I heard clear as day. Now, was it, you know,
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: his voice splitting the rock and parting the seas? Was
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: it that caliber? No, it sounded like my voice, but no.
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: When it makes so much sense, when it's uncomfortable, when
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: it's challenging, when it's convicting, that is usually how I
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: know it's the Holy Spirit. If it's not a thought
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: that I would have naturally on my own, and so
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: I heard as clear as day right then, go back
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: to school, complete that which I called you to in
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: the first place.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: And I was like.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: That's also usually it's, oh, no. Oh, no.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: I was like, no, Lord, not grad school. There's statistics there, Jesus.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: We can't do statistics. And yeah, but then I heard again.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: I heard the same thing again.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: And so I went home and I was like, I
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: told my husband, I was like, guess what? I have
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: to go to grad school. You know, like the Lord
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: told me, like, I have to go to grad school.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: I have to go back to like psychology and counseling
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: and all of this. And Um, I had even told people, right?
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, I was going to do this, but
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to because what a depressing career that
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: would be. You're just listening to people's problems all day.
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: And I was very, you know, like effervescent and light
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: and bright. And so I was just like, oh, really?
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: I'm going to be a counselor. You know, I'm just
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: going to listen to people's stuff. Like what a downer job.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: But no, it really is what you make of it.
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: And of course, there's hard things, right? But I applied
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: to Liberty University and I get in. Before the GRE
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: is even a requirement, like literally months before, which praise
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: the Lord because, you know.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: And for those of us lay people, what's a GRE?
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: So that's the graduate entrance exam to get into school.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: And that's a thing now?
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah. But it wasn't you.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: You slipped in just under the.
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: I'm not kidding you. And the Lord said it. I mean,
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: it was like months before they implemented it. So I
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: didn't have to take any exams or anything. And I
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: got in and man, the whole program was so amazing.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: It was so blessed. It was hybrid. So I flew
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: back and forth to Virginia for clinicals and things.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: And oh, my gosh, I still met I met people
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: that I'm still in touch with to this day who
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: will probably listen to this podcast because they've been praying
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: for me. And they're just the most amazing people. And
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: it was just an incredible experience. You know, worship before,
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: you know, for those of you who haven't gone to
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: Christian school, this was my first experience, you know, with that.
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: You know, the professors playing worship music, praying before us
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: before things, reading devotionals, like, just like such an amazing
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: experience that it made me fall in love with school.
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: And I get to statistics, and wouldn't you know it,
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: because the Lord... Doesn't want you to be afraid. I
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: get an A in statistics. Oh, my goodness, you guys.
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: Look at how long you can derail the goodness that
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: God has for you just by fear. I mean, that's
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: just so silly. So I get an A in statistics.
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: And then the exit exam, everybody studies hardcore for it.
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: And you get three chances or you get kicked out
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: of the program. And I don't study for it because
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: that's just true to who I am, you.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: Know, irresponsible.
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: I don't study for it. And I'm like, Lord, I
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: had this conversation with the Lord. I'm like, Lord, either
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: I have it or I don't. You either want me
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: in this or you don't. So you're either going to
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: just bring it to mind or. I'm going to learn.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: You're either going to humble me or you're just going
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: to open this door.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: Either way, here we go.
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: So I walk into this exam. It's a four-hour exam.
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: I walk into this exam. I'm like literally singing worship
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: songs in my head as I'm going through doing this exam.
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: I finish in like 90 minutes. It's I passed this
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: exam on.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: The first try.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: And I'm just like, oh, Lord, you're so good.
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: I mean, he just did that over and over again
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: throughout my whole grad school experience. It was just he
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: was so in it, you know, and it's not like
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: this isn't a pass to be irresponsible and not study.
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: But like God knows our personalities. Like he just knows
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: that I'm not really going to be the type of
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: person to study.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: And so he always does things big. He does things
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: in a big way because I'm a difficult child, you know.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah. He knows our personalities and he's personal with us.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely.
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: I knew this was going to happen, but we haven't
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: scratched the surface of all the fun that is yet
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: to come in your story. And so I'm going to
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: ask you, would you stick around.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: For episode two? I would love to. Great.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Good. That's the right answer. Congratulations. And yeah, so be
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: listening for episode number two with Marianne. Thank you so
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: much for joining us on this episode of the Passion
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: Meets Purpose podcast. Thank you to Josh Model, our show producer.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: Thank you to Lana Vegas, our scheduler and our guest coordinator.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: These episodes would not happen if it wasn't for them.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: And I would welcome it if you would take a
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: moment to rate and review the podcast. It helps others
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: to find it. Plus, it just makes the show better.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: And one of my favorite things is to hear from
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: you on who would you like to be featured as
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: a guest on this show. So you can connect with
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: us at Purposely.com. Thank you.