Latest / Feedbag with Nat Lauzon / Episode 20: Gen X Problems: Distracting Balls & Mystery Keys
Transcript
- nat: Hi, welcome to Feedbag. It's been a while. We went on summer vacation, but now we're back. We took a little hiatus. Did anyone notice? No. Nobody noticed. Nah. One thing we did find out though while we were on vacation is we went up to Timmins, Ontario, and my mother said something about the way that you sit. Yeah, 'cause well, since the beginning we've kind of been struggling with this L shaped sofa and making it work, especially for my posture in the corner and your mom said that she couldn't stop staring at my balls. Yeah. So that's why there's this pillow here now. That's for Donna's. 'Cause apparently the way that you sit is too ball intensive. It was ball intensive or like gut intensive. So now I've just Now we're all self conscious about our testamocles. Too front and center testically. Yeah, too tight on the crotch area. It's yeah. And we keep messing up as you see, we're going back to the handheld mics. Yeah, I feel better with handheld mics. I so do I feel like it's more us. It for maybe for us we should do it, but for guests you gotta worry that people talk like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or as they're talking they gesticulate. That's right. And so and so if we have handheld mics, you can cover your ball sack area. Well I've got the pillow going to cover these giant gonads. Yeah, I think you should have he's actually not wearing pants. I think you should have like a less flashy pillow though. Like it draws attention to the crotch. It's like look at me in another way than tight pants. Yeah, it's like, guess what you're missing, ladies? It's this is gross. Why am I sitting? It's a bit weird. Hey everybody, welcome to the podcast. Hi, welcome to feedback. Welc welcome to Pillows on Crotches podcast. how many episodes can we do about pillows on Crotches? Limitless. Okay. I is this distracting? Okay. I'm just going with this because for me it's comfy. I need to know if anyone else has keys that look like this. my God. Does anyone else have a keychain like this? You guys didn't know that Nat Moonlights is a janitor. I'm a janitor on my off hours. Yeah. Do you have keys like this? No. No. But I wanna go through these. Okay. And I wanna ask if you know what everything is for. Yeah, these are actually my keys and no idea. What's this one? I have no idea. So why is it on your keys? I think it might have been for a bike lock. It's pretty big. This? That's for your house. Key to my house, that's right. And your heart. and what are these guys? They were for a bike. Do you have a bike? What's this one? How many bikes do you have? I d I don't know. You think everything is a bike? I thought that was for a locker at work, but I don't think this is your house? Yeah. And what's left? this guy. Yeah, I know what this one's for. I actually know what this one's for. You do and you don't have it. What is it? It's for a club that goes in your car. I have a club. That's for your club. I have I had the same key. I recognize that weird W and I think it was on my keyring for like twenty years. Thank you. I have a club. I have so many keys and this is also for a gym that I no longer go to. can you let me edit this for you after the podcast? You can show it off next time that you've only got your three keys. Yeah. Yeah, this is ridiculous. I know. Someone made fun of my wallet the other day too, because it's like a George George wallet from Seinfeld. It's like your wallet is like that. But getting the getting the Twenty first century. I know. Like come on, man. I feel like a gross catch all person. Like I just I just get lazy and I just keep adding keys and then forgetting what the keys are for. It's dumb. It's really dumb because that's a that's a ten minute maximum job. Okay. Okay. in the summer, Rupert and I kinda like to just and watch those dumb relationship reality shows. yeah. because it always makes us feel better about our own relationship. And then we realize that there is like there is a gold mine of effed up relationships online as well. my god, yeah. a whole thread called Am I the Asshole, right? A whole like It's even got its own acronym. A I T A, am I the asshole? And you post something, a story that happened to you, and you're basically asking the internet, Am I the asshole in this situation? Or is my wife or my brother or whoever? Right. So you had a good one. Do you want to share it? I found an interesting one. Okay. I'm distracted by your ball sack pillow. Okay. Why don't we switch it? Try another pillow? Yes, that's what I was gonna try. I got one here. How this one? Mustard balls. Mustard balls instead of stripey balls. Good old mustard balls. Mom, how do you like this one? How's that, Donna? Okay, hang on. Okay, that's all right. That's better. Is it though? They could be flesh colored. This is I'm looking over here. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe if I was more like this. So how's it going? this is just gross. It's gross. YouTube's gonna find this and think you're naked. Where were we? What? I am I the asshole. Thank you. Yeah. Am I the asshole? But the headline is Am I the asshole for not taking my fiancee to the restroom mid movie? Me, 21 year old male, my fiancee, 21 year old female, went with my family to watch the Odyssey. We were all excited since it's been one of the most anticipated movies of the year. About twenty minutes in, she grabbed my arm to cuddle. I like cuddling during the movies, but with the theater armrests it was awkward and uncomfortable, so I pulled my arm back and sat normally. About 10 minutes later, she whispered that her stomach was hurting. I quietly told her she'd be okay. That sounds kind of assholey right off the bat, but whatever. Around 20 minutes later, she mouthed that she needed to fart, but didn't want to. Because my family was sitting nearby. I told her if she needed to let go, go ahead. It's okay. About twenty minutes later, she said the same thing again. Then another twenty minutes later, she said she needed to use the restroom. I told her that if she needed to go, she should go. She asked me to come with her. I said no because I wanted to keep watching the movie, and since I didn't need the restroom, I didn't see the point in both of us leaving. Every fifteen to twenty minutes for the rest of the movie, She was tapping me and continued saying she needed to go and for me to go with her. I was getting irritated, blah, blah, blah. I kept telling her repeatedly if she needed to go, blah, blah, blah, but she kept insisting she didn't want to go alone and wanted me to come with her. The repeated interruptions made it harder for me to follow the movie, and I started feeling more frustrated. Okay, so anyway, they go home, everything's fine, and then they got into an argument once the parents were out of the car. I asked what was wrong. She said that I had put the movie ahead of her health. I responded that she is an adult and didn't need me to accompany her to the restroom. She ended the conversation by saying, Yeah, I don't need you. Later she texted that she has serious bathroom issues and that I wasn't taking her health seriously. From my perspective, it never seemed like a medical emergency. It seemed like she wanted me to walk with her because she didn't want to leave alone. Anyway, for more context, this is not like in a dangerous theater or anything like that. okay, and here this was my take on this. Go ahead. go to the bathroom your dang self. That's what I said. I don't think he's an asshole at all for not accompanying her to the bathroom, but I was surprised at your take. My answer was yeah, you're a total asshole. Because your girlfriend is telling you, My stomach hurts, I don't feel good, I have lots of cramps, I need to fart. Could you come with me to the bathroom? To fart? Like to help me fart? Well, I don't know. It just felt like maybe it was more serious than she it could have been more serious than she was letting on It could have been, but also at the same time, if it's more serious, wouldn't she have just gone? And i if if you're a grown up and an autonomous human being in charge of your own body, you're not being held captive watching the Odyssey by s someone who doesn't want to go to the bathroom with you. You can go to the bathroom on your own. Sure she could. I totally get that. But at the same time, if you care about her at all and she's saying, I'm suffering, would you please come with me? Of course I'm gonna go with you. It's a movie. You're w a girlfriend. Yeah. And I I I know that if I said that to you, you would have come with me. Yes. I would have. But at the same time, I don't know. You wouldn't ask. Maybe it's the way that he framed it in that she was like, it kinda seemed like every twenty minutes So every twenty minutes she was like, Come with me to the bathroom. I would get annoyed. Yeah, go to the bathroom by yourself. Okay, so even if I even if I didn't think I should, I would have just to s get her to stop doing it. I would have waited for a what seemed like a boring moment in the movie and I would have said, Okay, let's go. He's not the asshole, but he's a bit inconsiderate. And she might be like needy or whatever. But you know, one thing that I don't like about Going to the bathroom in the movies is that it's hard to find your seat after sometimes. You find? yeah. Like I always have a little bit of a Maybe she's that kind of person. It's like when you walk back into a crowded movie theater, especially if it's packed, you kinda feel like everyone's watching you, but even though they're not, they're watching. That's true, you do feel that. And then you're like, my God, which row is it? Like, okay, I remember this person at the end and we're it's hard to find your people again. So maybe she was like, I can't get back to my seat. Well, that's not He didn't provide that context. They just had an argument. She's like, You were prioritizing basically a movie over my health. My health My health seems a bit dramatic. It's a bit of a push. So I don't think he's an asshole. I wouldn't say he's an asshole, but I'd say he could have been nicer. Okay. And she could have been less annoying. I remember one time going to the movies with two friends of mine. I can't remember what the movie was even. But one of them went to the bathroom before it started. Yeah. And they never came back. And did you ever go look for them? They no, it was like two colleagues that I worked with. Okay. And one of them was just gone. And me and the other one were like, W what? What where are they? Right. And they I think they like had the poops and they left. They just left. And no, we didn't have phones then. Like no. Right, but they didn't well yeah, if you got the poops, you're not gonna hold on, I'm gonna run back in the minute. They went home. And and we didn't even we watched the movie. Whatever. That seems kind of That seems kinda assholey. Like our friend just was kidnapped or murdered in the bathroom. We're just gonna keep watching the Like nowadays you wouldn't do that. you'd have a cellphone and you'd be like, Hey are you okay or where'd you go, right? But back then you didn't even have that to think about that. So maybe the rules were different back then. you're just on your own. see, this is what opening credits are for. I ha the trailers, I mean. Yeah. I don't watch trailers. You like watching trailers. I don't like watching trailers. And trailers are when you can have a pee and get your snacks and all that stuff. we watched a movie the other day. Obsession. And the dink. the dink. Yeah. Yeah. I was disappointed with Obsession. Because there were so like I also followed those two guys on YouTube beforehand. If anybody knows the story, I won't bother repeating it, but look it up. Two YouTube guys suddenly making horror movies when they were just comedy jokesters. Anyway, so I'm really happy for them both. and I was excited to see their movie. And there was so much hype about it that I put it in my head that it was gonna be good. And it was good. Yeah. But you see, you didn't have any of the hype and you thought that was pretty good. Yeah. But I had all the hype, so I was like, it wasn't as good as I thought. I think like as a first foray, like it was their first movie, right? I th I thought it was well done and that the acting was good. Yes. And it had some scary moments. Yeah, it wasn't scary. No, but it had some of those like jump scares, you know? A couple, yeah. And and everything made sense. the timing was good. so from like a that kind of perspective, I thought it was well done. But it's really h difficult to find a horror movie that's good. Good, good. Yes. But I think it was solid. I think it was solid. If to it felt like a seven and a half out of ten, and I was expecting like a ten. Okay. And we watched the dink with Jake Johnson. Jake Johnson, whose name I can never remember. And probably a lot of you out there like who's Jake Johnson, right? Because there's a Josh Johnson, there's a Jack Johnson, and there's a Jake Johnson. There's probably a lot more Johnson. So we watched The Dink it was just okay. it's good for a laugh. John McEnroe made it. John McEnroe made that movie to me. Yeah. And I won't ruin his line, but his first line in the moon movie had me like I think I was bent over. I was laughing so hard at that, like disproportionately laughing at it. Because now I think about it, it's funny, but it's not that funny. But it was just I think it was a delivery. it was unexpected, actually. It really was. It was unexpected. And that was a what I found a good device. But this is a good way they did it because John McEnroe had to like be the play by play of the game that was on, But instead of him just doing it, he was doing it in the stands and just talking to no one. And everybody kept going, Why you why you talking? Why are you doing this? And it it made it Funny for me. I found it really good. Anyway, that's a pretty good movie. the other thing about the dink. Okay, Mary Steen Burgen made the love interest. Here's one thing that I can't stand about movies, or even if I see this online with people. women specifically doing like sports or something. Yeah. And they never tie their hair back. And like it was really driving me nuts because she plays she plays pickleball in the movie and her hair was like always down and perfect. Like perfect bangs and perfect down and I'm like, her hair would not be like that. Like You even said it after they played the game. Her hair wouldn't look that good after game of No, she'd have a ponytail in and her hair would be l like that's a strange like realism thing. that you notice. So they're doing it for the cameras? Yeah. And it bothers me when hair is perfect. Right. Because otherwise that movie was super legit and realistic. okay. I just wanted to do d this is just a quick pop in. I think we're done. Yeah, there's a dude my roof is leaking. And so like a guy's coming to look at my leaky roof and I'm afraid that the doorbell's gonna ring while we're doing this. So we're ending it just in case it does? Yeah. This is w we should do more just shorties like this. Shorty. Did we get anything good out of this yet? Yeah, your golden ball sack. Golden balls. Okay. Does anyone have any ideas for how to hide Rupert's massive gonad? Like we can always use a blanky or 'cause now I've like tucked them down in between the cracks and the sofa to dangle them down to the floor. They're so obtrusive. They're really a problem. They're really when I was in high school. That's true. You could do that. Make it little cozy. 'Cause you know, sometimes you hear them slightly clanging in the background. We'll just wear Snuggies next time. Snuggies? Yeah. Are those those T V things? Yeah. I wanna get it. We each have well actually we each have one. I don't have a Snuggie. Yes, you do. My mom bought it for you. Yeah, I know what you're talking about, but is that a Snuggie? It's not a Snuggy adjacent. It's Snuggy adjacent. I have a Snuggy adjacent. It's like a mega hoodie. Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. It's got guitars on it. Thanks. Okay, well this was fun to just get back into the pool. Okay. Of podcasting. I almost forgot that we have something to give away. A hundred bucks for artisan clothing store. Actually you can this is good across Canada because you can use it to buy clothing online too. Pretty freaking sweet. Thank you to Artisan and Robin Barre for donating this amazing prize. Yeah, it's super cool. Very nice. So very generous. okay, what is our question? Our question is Whose performance in the dink did I particularly? Android. The cameo performance. Yes. Good. Okay. Great. leave your answer in the comments below this video. And also if you could like, subscribe, share, that all helps. And we'll shut up now. And I have a leaky roof, so time to talk to the roofer man. Yay. Yay. Thanks for joining us. We'll see you next time on feedback. Thanks. It's been real. Bye, golden balls. Hello, real flashy ones.