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How narcissists get you to fall for them so fast? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  Lee Hammock, your favorite self aware narcissist and welcome to
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  another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Today's episode is going to be about how do narcissists get you
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  to fall for them so fast, so quickly.
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  How do narcissists get you attached to them so Dang gone
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  fast? Like how, how, how they do it so
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  fast, how they do it so quick and efficiently and whatnot.
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  Like how do narcissists get so many people attached to them so
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  quickly? So I'm going to hop right into
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  it. Y'all the main way.
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  I feel like the fastest way that narcissistic people or not,
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  maybe not the fastest way, but the most efficient way is that
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  narcissists study people. Let's keep it, you know, let's
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  keep it hot and ready. Narcissists study people.
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  Narcissists are very, very analytical people.
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  They want we like. We want to gain more knowledge
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  about people. We want to view people.
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  We want to see people. We want to like get to know
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  people. We want to know what make makes
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  people tick. So that one of the most
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  efficient ways to get people to fall for you is to know what
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  they want, know what they need. Like narcissists study you.
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  Y'all in the In the age of social media, it's so in an
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  online dating, it's so much easier to study someone.
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  It's so much easier to know someone, to get to know someone
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  to get to know somebody's wants and needs.
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  It's so yeah, it's so much because the information is
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  there. It's so much information is
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  readily online. So if you're looking, if you're
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  on dating profiles or dating apps, you know, you're looking
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  at like the like the app Bumble or something like that.
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  Like you're going to put what you're looking for, right.
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  You're going to put what you're looking for.
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  You're going to just want to see all of that stuff right there.
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  You want to you. You want to do all of this stuff
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  You want. You want people to know up front
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  what you're looking for and what not, right?
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  So that happens. So you want to put all this
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  information online and the narcissistic person in your
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  life, they're going to see that. They're going to study that and
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  they're going to become whatever you they feel like you want they
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  need to become. They get the information from
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  you online or whatever or your first date and whatnot and
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  become whoever they feel like they need to become to get you
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  to fall for them. They they because like so many,
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  so much information, it's readily available online.
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  It's crazy, you know, if I just tell people, if you're on dating
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  apps, limit what you put online, limit it Y'all.
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  Limit what you put online to them for anybody.
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  You know, you can put little basic stuff for what you're
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  looking for and how you feel, who you are and whatnot, but you
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  don't want to put too much. You don't want you, you don't
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  want to write, you don't want to write your relationship.
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  You don't want to put your relationship resume online
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  because narcissistic people see it, they study it and they
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  become it. They adjust on the fly so they
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  get you attached to them quickly by becoming whoever, they,
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  whoever you're looking for. You know, they might have
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  nothing in common with you, but you have so much stuff online,
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  so much information online that they see it and they become it,
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  you know, Yeah, it it really isn't that space right there.
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  So yeah, the discord, it does hurt so bad.
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  Yeah, that's how I'm just telling y'all.
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  That's part of the process though, of dealing with toxic,
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  narcissistic people, you know? So if you're online dating and
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  doing online dating, you have like, y'all this is me just
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  giving y'all a heads up. It don't put like, even when
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  they, you know don't put so much stuff online.
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  And even if you're on the first date and they ask you what are
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  you looking for, how they get you attached so fast?
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  They ask you the question, So what are you looking for in a
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  significant other? What are you looking for in a
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  guy? What are you looking for in a
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  girl? What are you looking for in a
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  person? What are you looking for?
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  And then y'all verbal vomit and tell them exactly what you're
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  looking for and they be like, Oh my goodness, me too, Me too.
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  Wow. We just so so we just so
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  happened to have the same interest.
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  We just so happen to have the same thought process and all
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  these others are we we just so happen to have it right.
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  You tell them, you see what I'm saying, you tell them what you
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  are looking for and they become that they become what you're
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  looking for. So keep the information on the
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  fly. What are you looking for in a
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  significant other? Why?
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  Or or the question why is somebody like you single?
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  Why is somebody like you on the market?
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  How somebody is as fine as you are available.
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  This is crazy to me. Like who fumble you and how did
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  they fumble you? You know, they'll say things
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  like that to you. So watch what you share with
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  people. Make people earn your
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  information. Not everybody is entitled to
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  your information. So make people earn it.
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  Absolutely make people earn the information.
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  Don't just give it to them Willy nilly.
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  What have they done to earn the information, right.
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  So they get you attached fast by becoming who you want them to
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  become. Another way that they get you
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  attached so quickly is by introducing you to their family
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  and friends extremely quick, extremely fast.
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  They they really will do, you know, they they will introduce
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  you to their family and friends really quickly.
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  You know a lot of them will do that.
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  Not every single one of them will do it, but a lot of them
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  will do that, you know? A lot of them will absolutely
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  introduce you to their family and friends very, very quickly.
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  They they killed that y'all. They kill you, they like.
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  You'll be the first, second date, just getting to know this
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  person. And they're already introduced.
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  Introducing, introducing you to their parents, introducing you
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  to their mom or dad. Introducing you to their best
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  friend. You know, introducing you to
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  their homeboy, the home girl, whatever.
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  They're already in. Like in, they already introduced
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  you to their kids. If they have kids, they're
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  introducing you to their kids really quickly.
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  You know, very early on, y'all take your time.
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  If you feel like it's uncomfortable, if you feel like
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  you're rushing, slow it down. And the reason why they do that,
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  just like God's favorite just said they make you think you.
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  They wouldn't make you think you're special.
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  I don't know. I just something about you.
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  I just want to introduce you to my mom.
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  I know we just met, but I got to.
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  I got to let my mom know about you.
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  I got to you know, and y'all be all giddy like you be you be
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  nervous and stuff like that. But you're also giddy
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  simultaneously a lot of the times.
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  So if you're dealing with a toxic, narcissistic person or
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  you just think you're getting to know somebody, slow it down.
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  If they're, if you introduce you, if they're introducing you
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  to the kids or your family members, whatever your friends
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  really fast. I know it feels like it feels
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  right, but sometimes you can feel wrong.
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  Just trust your intuition on that way.
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  If it feels wrong, tell them to slow down.
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  If they're saying hey, if you say hey this moving kind of
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  fast, let's take let's take our time and they push back on you,
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  then you and they push back on you.
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  They violate your boundaries. You can you, you can out them in
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  the beginning. You absolutely can out them in
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  the beginning. If they violate your boundaries,
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  they push against your boundaries and whatnot.
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  They can out them in the beginning.
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  It's absolutely true. So a lot of times they do that,
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  we also slow down. And the on the other side of the
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  coin, what they also try to do to get you attached really fast
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  is they'll try to meet your family and friends.
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  Not not all narcissists will do this.
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  Some narcissists just like to have you all to themselves,
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  don't care about meeting anybody in your life.
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  But there are some narcissists that will try to get you
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  attached to them by meeting your family and friends really fast,
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  trying to meet your kids really fast, you know, you know, trying
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  to meet your kids really fast, he said.
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  Lee, he told me he his mom didn't approve because I refused
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  A threesome. Well, that's yeah, unless mom a
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  freak, then that's a lie. You know, unless, mom, we got
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  some freak in there that's a lie.
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  Get my Get my baby a threesome. Get my baby at threesome.
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  Yeah, yeah, it's weird, but that's wildness.
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  But yeah, they'll try to meet your family and friends really
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  fast. They're gonna tell you how to
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  slow down. Like, if they're trying to meet
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  your family and your friends really quickly, trying to meet
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  your kids really quickly, then that's another sign you might be
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  dealing with a toxic, narcissistic person.
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  Like, seriously, you have to be on the lookout for this type of
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  mindset for this type of, I ain't gonna say brain damage,
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  but like this type of person, if they're trying to introduce you
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  to their family and friends, or they're trying to meet your
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  family and friends really quickly and really quickly, Like
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  when I say really quickly or fast, that's subjective to the
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  person. That's subjective to you.
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  To me, 2-3 weeks is really quickly.
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  A couple of months in is really quickly.
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  Give me like 3 months. Give me like 3-4, five months to
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  meet somebody like that in your life.
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  You know what I mean? Dude, we just clapping cheeks
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  and we just dating and messing around and meet your kids.
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  I mean, your kids fog. I mean, in and out like
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  clockwork, you know, that's the way it goes.
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  So slow it down. Y'all.
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  If they're trying to meet your people really quickly, set a
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  boundary. And when you you get the chance
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  to say no or set a boundary, it can help you reveal this person
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  for who they really are. If they push back against your
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  boundaries, you. And like I said, you can
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  understand. You can.
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  It's easier to let this person go in the beginning if they're
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  pushing back on your on your boundaries, if they're pushing
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  back on your respect. You know what I mean?
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  It is in this space right here. Yeah, appreciate that, Scott.
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  Say hit the like button. Y'all hit the like button, drop
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  some comments. Let's get the live, share it out
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  and whatnot. But yes, that happened so much
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  y'all. Seriously, It really, really
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  does. So I'm telling y'all when y'all
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  deal with slow it down. You see, the title says get you
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  to fall for them so fast. Not all narcissists move
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  quickly, but a big majority of them do.
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  A big majority of narcissists do absolutely move very, very fast.
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  So slow down, slow down the cheeks.
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  Slow down the slow down the connection.
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  You know, they'll they'll tell you that they love you really
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  fast. It doesn't always have to be
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  introducing you to other people. It can be just saying, hey, I
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  love you, you know, y'all on a first date.
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  I know that. Don't don't laugh at me.
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  Please don't laugh at me when I tell you this.
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  But I know this is weird. I feel like a fool.
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  I feel like a fool for saying this.
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  I think I love you. I know it sounds stupid.
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  I know you don't have to say it back.
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  I know. We, I know we've been knowing
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  each other for 17 for an hour and 17 minutes.
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  But I know when you know. You know, the heart knows the
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  heart wants what the heart wants.
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  My heart wants you forever. You know how dumb does it sound?
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  You know what I'm saying? How slow it down.
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  Y'all they'll tell you they love you very quickly and stuff like
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  that. They'll try to move in with you
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  very quickly. They'll try to ingratiate you
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  into their life very quickly. Like, like Natalie just said in
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  the comments, after two weeks, I love you.
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  There it goes, right there, you know, there you go, right there,
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  he said. He said that to me on the 1st
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  date. I'm telling y'all, that's the
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  way it goes very quickly. I know it sounds like a fairy
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  tale romance. Y'all if you if you feel like if
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  you're on a date, if you're on a date with somebody, right.
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  And you feel like you're in a Disney movie, wake up.
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  Snap you look, click your look. If you feel like you're in a on
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  a first date and you feel like you're in a Disney movie, stand
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  up. Click your damn heels together
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  three times like you, Dorothy, on the the yellow brick road so
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  you can wake your ass up, you know, You know, I wish I was.
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  What did you say? When you click their heels
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  together in The Wizard of Oz? There's no place like home.
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  There's no place like home. There's no place like home.
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  Say that you know there's no place like you know there's no
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  place like emotional safety. There's no place like not, not,
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  not. There's no place like not being
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  in a touch of relationship. There's no place like being by
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  myself and being single and not abused, you know, There's no
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  place like it, not being in an abusive relationship.
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  Like click your goddamn heels together if you got some high
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  heels on or if you're a man watching this.
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  Click your your, your, your your your your dress shoes or your
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  your your Chuck Taylors, your Nikes, your Air Force Ones.
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  Click them together. You know, click, click your
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  Jordans together. You click your Jordans together
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  to wake up y'all. I'm just telling y'all, please
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  be safe. You have to slow it down because
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  speed is the weapon of a narcissist.
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  I'll tell you all that all the time.
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  Speed is the weapon of a narcissist.
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  You know what I'm saying? Beetlejuice.
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  Beetlejuice, BS Beetlejuice. Yeah, whatever it takes.
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  Don't don't go say candy Man in the mirror, but whatever it
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  takes, other than doing that, because it helps you out in the
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  end. Y'all just being realistic.
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  It does help you out in the end. Like you you.
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  It's easier to leave that person alone in the beginning than it
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  is to cut them off 10 years later.
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  It is. It's easier when you're on the
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  first or second date. 2-3 weeks in Y'all ain't doing them but
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  sleeping together. It's easier to cut somebody off
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  right there than it is Y'all got 4 kids and married.
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  Got the houses and cars together.
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  That's that's so that's. It's a lot harder.
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  Y'all it's a lot harder. See like this.
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  This is another way they get you.
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  They'll move. They'll try to move in with you
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  really quickly. I said they'll they'll move in
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  really quickly. He moved in within a week.
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  That's wow, that's wild right there.
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  So if you who said that Somebody said click click your sandals
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  and your flip flops together, yeah, you got to You can take
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  them off and slap them together. Take your your your sandals or
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  your your Crocs off and slap them together.
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  Instead of clicking them together, you can slap them
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  together, put them in sports mode and slap them together.
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  But that happens. So slow it down.
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  Y'all I'm telling y'all, it's just love at first to me.
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  I don't believe in love at first sight.
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  I believe in lust at first sight or I believe in manipulation at
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  first sight. They look at you as a target,
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  you know? Oh, you you.
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  Perfect to manipulate, you know. So I'm just saying, like, if it
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  sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
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  Y'all. And this is not me trying to
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  just random y'all's parade or hurt your feelings or anything
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  like that. I'm just trying to help.
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  Trying to help y'all wake up to the fact that there's people out
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  here who have, who have bad, bad thoughts in their heart, in
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  their minds, who have darkness in their hearts, and they're out
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  here to try to hurt you. They're not out here trying to
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  help you heal or grow anything along those lines.
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  They're out here trying to hurt you and do you know and do
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  damage to you at the most. So be as safe as you possibly
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  can. Be as strong as you possibly
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  can. Like I said, at the end of the
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  day I'll have, like I said, you have to protect you.
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  You have to choose. You like seriously Don't mistake
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  love for lust. Absolutely.
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  Yeah. So if y'all have any any quick
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  questions for me, I'll answer those, but then I'll have to hop
• 14:00
  off. Y'all my kids are sick, so
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  that's why I'm going Live Today. My kids are sick.
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  It's been a sickness. Narcissists use your personality
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  to target friends. Yes, narcissistic people, First
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  off, thanks for the donation to the channel.
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  But then narcissists will absolutely use your personality
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  to target your friends. They'll go after your friends,
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  so they they sometimes they'll replace, they'll try to replace
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  you in your own friend group. So be watch out for that as
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  well, you know, watch out for that as well.
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  They'll try. If you have a good set of
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  friends, they'll try to replace you in your own friend group.
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  So watch out for that. That does happen, so it just
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  takes time right there. I'm three years in, but trying
• 14:34
  to remove myself from this relationship.
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  You gotta don't try. I do.
• 14:38
  I will say this, y'all if y'all having trouble leaving a toxic
• 14:41
  relationship. I do have a support group called
• 14:44
  the Mental Healers. We meet 2-3 times a week over
• 14:47
  zoom. We break stuff down.
• 14:49
  We talk about a lot of stuff. There's quite a few people in
• 14:52
  there right now. They're out there trying to help
• 14:54
  and heal. You know it's a group of people
• 14:56
  that are there to dedicated to helping each other heal and
• 14:59
  helping each other grow. It's called the mental healers.
• 15:02
  I'll drop the link in the comments right now so you can
• 15:03
  check it out. I appreciate every single one of
• 15:06
  y'all and I do have to hop over here and the the spam is coming
• 15:10
  in now y'all so I do have to hop off here.
• 15:12
  I see the spam coming here now but I say check out the check
• 15:17
  out the mental healers y'all I will be back on here probably I
• 15:20
  might do a question I might do AQ and a later on y'all I I
• 15:22
  might do AQ and a later on. I know this is a target.
• 15:25
  This this right here had a a subject but I probably do AQ and
• 15:28
  A later on. So if y'all want to hop on later
• 15:30
  on to the live for the Q&A, I'll be here later on.
• 15:33
  Anyway, y'all be safe, take care of yourselves and of course
• 15:36
  Brandy. See Brandy Brandy's in my group,
• 15:38
  she's in my she's in the Mental Hillers, she's in my she's in
• 15:40
  the Mental Hillers group. Shout out to Brandy, but check
• 15:42
  out the Mental Hillers group. Y'all be safe, take care of
• 15:45
  yourselves. And as always, Mental Hillers is
• 15:47
  up peace.