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When Your Voice Returns: The Woman Who No Longer Swallows Herself · Create Love Create Freedom

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Create Love, Create Freedom Podcast.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast explores feminine psychology, relationships, and what shifts when you begin living from your own center rather than from expectation or conditioning.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Alison Fisher, and my work focuses on internal authority and relational clarity across seasons of life.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: On today's episode, we are going to talk about when our voice returns as women.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: So there is this phase in a woman's life that I believe is rarely named, but deeply felt.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a phase where she is no longer willing to silence herself, but her voice has not yet refined into calm authority.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: It can feel sharp, irreverent, unfiltered.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: And what we are going to look at today is this threshold crossing into the archetypes of Persephone, Lilith, and the Shadow Empress, and what it truly means to reclaim your voice, particularly after a lifetime of self-abandonment.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: You have stepped into this new space because you have been doing your healing work, you have gone very deep with yourself, and now you're in this place of really just saying what you feel.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: As we move through this discussion, we're not talking about becoming softer.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: We're talking about becoming sovereign in our expression.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Let's begin.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: So there's this moment, there's this place that we come to as women in our lives, where something inside of us refuses to go back.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: We refuse to go back to silence, we refuse to go back to politeness, we refuse to go back to the version of ourselves that could feel something and then swallow it mid-sentence.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're here, you know exactly what I mean.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because it doesn't feel subtle.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: It feels like I can't not say this anymore.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: I can't pretend I don't see this, and I can't soften this for you just so you're more comfortable.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then almost immediately another voice comes in.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Is this too much?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Am I being inappropriate?
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And have I gone too far?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: And what I want to say to you right here, before we go any deeper, is this you are not going backwards, you are not becoming restless, or reckless, I should say.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: You are crossing a very important threshold.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: This is this space, this phase that we step into as women.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: This is that phase where we kind of feel like we aren't very restrained.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: We are coming out of a type of suppression.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: We're not in this say whatever comes to mind phase.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: We are in what I would call the reclamation voice.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: So again, after this lifetime, especially in childhood, of monitoring yourself, holding back your truth, managing other people's reactions, and prioritizing safety over expression, the psyche has to swing.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Not permanently, but deliberately and temporarily.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because if it doesn't swing, it never fully individuates.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: So what a woman can be feeling at this time is I finally have access to my truth and I don't want to abandon it again.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: And this part of you is very correct.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Many women also move through a time of a little bit of irreverence, and it feels good.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's also necessary.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a specific kind of relief in a woman being irreverent.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: She is no longer editing herself to be acceptable.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: She's no longer over-accommodating.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: She's allowing frustration to exist instead of metabolizing it prematurely.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And importantly, she is also choosing who gets access to that unfiltered version of her.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: So she might be a bit irreverent and inappropriate with some of her comments that most likely are absolutely spot on, but she's also selective about who she does it with.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is not recklessness, this is selective release.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: There is also a small part of her, kind of deep inside of herself, that says, This is good for right now, but I also want to be a woman who does bring some restraint, right?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Who isn't just that woman that we all know that just says whatever she wants all of the time and for a majority of her life.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: We see it as a phase.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is not repression.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: This is power calibration.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because true power isn't saying everything or saying nothing.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's choosing exactly what lands, where, and why.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: So the shift that a woman is actually looking for is not stop being irreverent.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: It is in fact refine irreverence into precision.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: So when you move into this space of irreference, your expression is emotionally accurate, contextually justified, and occasionally unfiltered.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: The next phase is emotionally accurate, contextually intentional, and strategically delivered.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Now, there is a framework that we as women can use in the moment.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: When we feel this surge, right, of frustration, perhaps it's feeling like something unjust is either happening to us or happening in the world.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: We have this urge to say what we want to say.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: We can take a little bit of a pause and say, is this truth or is this discharge?
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: Truth is something that needs to be said, even if it's uncomfortable.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Discharge is something that needs to be released.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Not everything that is true needs to be spoken in that moment.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: And not every discharge needs to happen with every single person.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we do need to just move our frustration, our urge to say something through our body.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: But who we do so with is really the key.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: That leads us into who earns this version of me?
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: There is the inner circle that is where we can be raw, irreverent, and unfiltered.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And then there's the professional sphere, which is where we are distilled, precise, and contained.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Not because we're hiding, but because not everyone is entitled to your unprocessed state.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: And lastly, is what outcome do I actually want?
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Before speaking, you can ask yourself, do I want to release tension or do I want to create impact?
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because those are not the same behavior.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: If it's release, don't do it in the moment with that person.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: If it's impact, shape what you were going to say irreverently into something that can be delivered.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to look at an important reframe.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to become more restrained.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: You need to become more lethal with fewer words.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: The woman that you're becoming doesn't vent publicly, over-explain, or react in real time.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: She observes, she selects, and she delivers one sentence that lands cleanly.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then she stops.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: But don't shut down this phase.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: If you try to suppress yourself as you are moving post-healing and into your feminine sovereignty, it will either come out sideways or it'll turn back into self-silencing.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, think of this phase as you learning the full range of your voice.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: From silence to raw expression to precision.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we're just not in that final refinement layer yet.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: I also have a feeling that this is something that could happen multiple times throughout our lives.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: We do move through certainly periods of silence, right?
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: In our pre-healing work.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then we can go through periods of raw expression and then turn it into precision.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes, because of something new that's come up, we may have to go back to some raw expression.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that is perfectly okay.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: This is part of the cyclical nature and being of a woman.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: One of the grounded ways to practice this without killing this energy is keep the irreverence, but add one step.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: Delay your response by 10 to 60 seconds when it matters.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: What I have found is this small pause does something very powerful for women.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: It separates impulse from intention, it keeps your truth intact, but it lets you choose the form.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: So this is where we get to begin that refinement process.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we're not quite ready for it yet, but over time we will be.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Another thing to pay attention to is that a lot of what we are feeling is also not just expression.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's also some sort of environmental friction meeting a woman who has outgrown that environment.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: So when the friction is removed, the pressure to discharge goes with it.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: So this could be a relationship, a friendship that is no longer aligned.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so we're feeling a lot of friction and we're feeling a lot of irreverence and just saying how we feel.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: It could also be a job, right?
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: A career path where we are creating a shift and we are saying, I might not quite be out of this path just yet, but I'm on my way to something else.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: And right now, it really feels like I just want to discharge a lot of my thoughts and feelings in the moment.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Again, when that friction is removed, the pressure discharge goes with it.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: What we are sensing intuitively as women is we don't actually want to say whatever we feel.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: What we want to do is we want to no longer feel the need to push against what is misaligned.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Those are very different states.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: One is reactive and one is sovereign.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that that is a very important distinction and one that we can really pay attention to as women as we move through these phases, whether it be now or whether it even be, you know, it's something in the future, another phase that we come across, you know, as we move throughout our lives.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Let's step into Persephone.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is the descent into truth.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Persephone is often perceived as the maiden, the woman who is abducted by Hades.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: But Persephone is not just the maiden.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: She is the woman who was taken into the underworld and saw what was real.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: But she's also the woman who becomes queen of the underworld.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: And in our lives, that looks like becoming the sovereign queen of our own lives.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: And this is that shift from saying what we think and what we feel, and then learning how to refine it.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing about Persephone seeing what was real.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: Once you see what is real, you cannot unsee it.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: This is the phase that many women find themselves in after healing.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Not before healing, but after healing.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because before healing, a woman is still negotiating with reality, hoping things will change, and filtering her perception to stay safe.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: But after healing, she sees patterns, she sees misalignment, she sees the truth beneath the behavior.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: And like Persephone, her descent is the descent into that knowing.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the part that no one tells you.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: The descent does not make you softer, it makes you clearer.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: And clarity, without years of suppression to soften it anymore, can feel sharp.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: And this is often why a woman may feel less tolerant, more direct, less willing to go along to get along.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: She's not regressing.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: She is no longer negotiating with what she can see.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Let's look at Lilith.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Lilith is the refusal.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: Lilith is not polite.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: She is not accommodating.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: She does not say let me find a way to make this work.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: She says no, and she does not apologize for it.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: But Lilith is often misunderstood because people think Lilith is chaos or rebellion for the sake of rebellion.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's not actually Lilith.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: Lilith is the refusal to abandon herself in order to belong.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: And when she awakens in you, you begin to notice what you tolerate, where you overextend, and where you soften truth to maintain connection.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: And suddenly you don't want to do it anymore.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where many women feel disoriented because they think, why am I so sharp?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: Why do I feel like I just don't care about certain things anymore?
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care about people's opinions.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: I am going to live the life that I want to live.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: But what's actually happening is a woman begins to become the woman who no longer who is no longer willing to betray herself to be accepted.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: And that can feel like irreverence.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: But it's actually integrity returning.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Next, let's look at the Shadow Empress.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: This is power without performance.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then if you don't collapse back into silence, if you don't overreact to plight to politeness, you enter a third phase.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: This is the Shadow Empress.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: She is not loud, she is not reactive, she is not trying to prove anything.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: She sees, she knows, she chooses.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: The Shadow Empress is what happens when Persephone's clarity meets Lilith's refusal and is refined into contained sovereign power.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: She does not say everything she thinks, but she does not deny what she sees.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: She does not react, but she also does not accommodate distortion.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: She is not trying to be liked, but she is not careless with her words.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: She is precise.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where a woman's voice is going.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: Not back to silence, not into chaos, but into clean, devastating clarity.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: Let's look at the space that you're in right now.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: If you are listening to this and you're thinking, Yes, this is exactly where I am, then hear this.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: You are in the in-between.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: Between the woman who swallowed her truth and the woman who wields it cleanly.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: And the in-between can feel messy, because your voice has returned, but it hasn't refined yet.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: So it comes out as bluntness, irreverence, slightly inappropriate, and moments of I just don't care.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: But underneath that is something much deeper.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that is I will not abandon myself again.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that is sacred.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: So the work is not to shut down.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: The work is to hold on long enough for it to refine.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: And also pay attention to your environment if there needs to be a change or a shift.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'd also like to talk about grabbing your sovereignty by the lapels.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: This is really the moment that you take yourself seriously.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: Not your reactions, not your impulses, but your perception.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: This is when you, as the sovereign woman, begin to ask, what do I actually see here?
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: What is true even if I don't say it out loud?
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: And where am I tempted to soften myself to be received?
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: And then you choose.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: Not from fear, but from habit, habit.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: Also from a place of sovereignty.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: And sovereignty sounds like I see this clearly.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: I do not react to it.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: I choose how and when to speak.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: That is power.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: Not suppression, not performance, but choice.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: Let's take a moment and look at some practical things that we can do.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: I find that it's really wonderful to look at.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Things through a archetypal lens to see the role of Persephone and Lilith and the Shadow Empress, but then to also build a practical personal code.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: In this case, we're going to call it your personal code of speech.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, this is really a real power tool.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: This is where everything integrates.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: Not rules, not suppression, but standards.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: So the code looks like this.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: First, I do not speak to discharge.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: If something needs to move emotionally, I move it privately first.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: I write it, I walk it, I process it.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: Then I decide if it still needs to be said.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: This is self-regulation.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is instead of just expelling things on other people, discharging because I'm frustrated in the moment, and I now speak my truth, this is privately doing something with it first.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: Second, I choose impact over immediacy.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: I am allowed to pause even ten seconds.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because timing shapes power.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: Third, I match the level of access.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: Not everyone receives the same version of me.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: My inner circle can get my unfiltered, my inappropriate professional that space receives my distilled self.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: My inner circle gets unfiltered, my professional gets distilled.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: This is not inauthentic.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is discernment.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: four I speak when it creates movement.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: Before speaking I ask myself will this change anything?
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: If yes, I refine and deliver.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: If no, I release and move on.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: Five, I use fewer words, not more.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: I do not explain myself into clarity.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: I observe, I select, I deliver, and then I stop.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: six I do not abandon my perception, even if I choose not to speak it aloud.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think that this is really very critical.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: Silence is not self betrayal when it is chosen.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: Silence is self betrayal when it is forced.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: But there are moments when we as women need to choose silence.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: We choose it, therefore we are not betraying ourselves.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: And seven, I let my environment rise to meet me, or I leave.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: This is where we as women begin looking at every element around ourselves, not just in a critical way, but does this align with the woman I am?
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: Does this align with the woman I want to become?
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: Is this really the life, the environment that is healthiest for me?
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: And what this does is it creates the future version of yourself.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: It creates a woman who doesn't vent publicly, doesn't overcorrect herself, and doesn't need to prove her intelligence or her awareness.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: But when she speaks, it lands clean, it lands once, and it changes the room.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: So really, this is where we as women are not trying to become quote unquote more appropriate.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: We're becoming more precise, more selective, and more dangerous with our clarity.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: So to conclude today's episode, this is the space where we can step into some refinement.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: This is the version of you that is emerging.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: The woman who will not over explain, over soften, or over accommodate, but she will also not react impulsively, discharge emotionally, or scatter her words.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: She will speak less and land more.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: And when she does speak, it will feel like truth, clarity, and finality, because it is no longer coming from wounding or suppression or reactivity.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: It is coming from a woman who stayed with herself long enough to become precise.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: And that woman is who you are becoming.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for taking your time and spending it with me today.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: Let whatever was useful settle in its own time.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: Clarity, I have found, tends to unfold naturally when we give it space.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: If you find yourself wanting deeper support in your personal work, I've created two spaces, the School of Self-Transformation and the Feminine Reclaiming Course.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: They're designed for women who are already self-aware and ready to live with more coherence, stability, and self-trust.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: You can explore both of these spaces in the show notes if it feels relevant to you, or you can, of course, go to create lovefreedom.com.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: And for women who are also thinking about leadership, work, or financial direction in their businesses, I share a different layer of this work through the podcast I have started called The Feminine Ledger, as well as my advisory practice at The Sovereign Ledger, where I work with women founders who want clearer financial structure and decision making inside their businesses, along with long term sustainability.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, stay rooted, stay sovereign, and stay true to your feminine path.