Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #99 Accidents Abroad And Protecting Our Dadhood

Transcript

#99 Accidents Abroad And Protecting Our Dadhood · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Is it just me or do you get the absolute
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: sudden urge to call everyone boss whenever you go overseas.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: No, no, I heard. I don't know if you remember
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: calling me last night, and I could just hear it
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: being like thanks Boss, Thanks Boss, Boss. Welcome back to
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: two doting dads.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: I'm Maddie Jay and I'm Baliash.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: the good, it is the.
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: Bad, and the relatable.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: And this won't come as any surprise to anyone unless
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: you're a new listener. But on this episode, we all episodes,
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: we will not be giving any type of advice whatsoever.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: Well, let me hold you there. Today might be a
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: little bit different, Matt. I might have some advice. Matthew,
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: I have traveled to Balley. I am currently out of
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: the country, and one gripe I've got is trying to
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: find a decent froth because there's only one local beer
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: here which will go unnamed, that I do not like.
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: And there's only one mother's milk or nectar, and that is,
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: of course Stonewood.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: That's right, the one and only stone on Wood. And
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: this morning, Ash, it doesn't feel quite right the fact
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: that I'm drinking one, and you're not physically in front
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: of me like I feel. I feel like I'm having
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: toast with vegimite and no butter.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: I still love that.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, of course you would. I don't know if this
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: is going to make your mouth water, but here it is, Ash,
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: this is the hinterland, hazy pale ale.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: Just hold it up so I can see it.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: I'm just going to crack it here.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: Can you please, please please please?
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Oh oh, can you please have a couple for me?
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: That would be amazing, please, Ash.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: On the weekend just gone, I was down the South coast.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: I was working on the house. I was on the
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: tools all day and it was a very hot day. Ash,
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: I feel like spring is just come. The temperature is
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: just it's hot, it's thick.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Didn't you realize the sentence you just said, Then it's
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: come and it's hot, it's thick.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: Those words that's sexually a new window. It just happens
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: naturally when I talk about stone and wood. But after
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: being on the tools all day, it doesn't happen often.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: I I'm normally exhausted from writing emails nine to five,
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: but after having a shovel in hand and then putting
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: the shovel down, grasping a can of stone and wood
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: and having that sweet sweet sip that nectar. It is
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: absolutely delicious.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: And Laura doesn't mind the old hazy as well, didn't she?
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Laura expect she was on the tools also, I did see,
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: and both of us were sitting there afterwards, being like,
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: nothing better after a hard day's work than a stone
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: of wood.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: I'm very jealous because it's very hot here and I
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: would love nothing more.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: And for those of you who are not in Bali
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: and here in Australia, the Stonywood Hinterland Hazy Pallel is
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: available at any good bottle shop and pouring on tap
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: and any good or delicious bar and restaurant. If you're
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: struggling to find it or sample it, just jump on
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: the stoney Wood website and order a carton to your door. Ash.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: I don't know if they delivered to Bali.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: They should just go to Stonywood dot com dot au.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Of course, yes, you're in Bali. Where do we start?
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: Where do we start with Bali?
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: Let's begin.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: As all parents know, traveling with your children is a nightmare. Look,
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: there is twelve parents, twelve kids right now.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: That is fucking crazy.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: By the way, Yeah, it's a logistical nightmare.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: But April is, as you know, an executive assistant. She
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: has done an amazing job organizing this, So let's just
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: start with that. I usually shit on my wife. I'll
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: give a kudos on this one because everyone is having
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: a really good time.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: Is she the ringleader? Is she in charge? Who's like
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: top dog?
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: You look at him, bro, you're looking at him.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: I don't believe it.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: Nah, I'm I'm the bottom feet.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: You're the epitome of rocking up, being like, so what
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: times boarding are we? What fly do we?
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Exactly what happened, That's exactly what happened.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: I had had in my.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Head that we were flying at like eleven am, so
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: ape and I had the night before.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: She was like, Okay, well we've got to leave at six,
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: And I'm like.
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: Fuck, you want to leave so early for She's like,
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: We've got to get the kids in the car, got
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: to pack everything in the car, blah blah blah blah
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: bah blah, and you got to get there a couple
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: of hours before. I'm like, yeah, not five hours before?
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: What are you my dad?
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: And then she was like no, no, no, dickhead, we're
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: flying at ten. I've told you this five hundred times,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: I am. I okay, all right, right, right, forgive me.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: I did the classic Dad move, which is to put
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: all the bags in the car the night before of
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: an early start, which I think that's brilliant, very good,
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: until April goes, I need something out of the big
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I'm talking. It's under surfboards, it's under prams, it's under kids' bags.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: You've brought your surfboard, that's right. I forget that you
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: like to bring your surfboard to BALI. I'm trying to
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: wrap my head around that. It's hard enough going with
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: two kids plus prem plus bags, plus then throw a
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: surfboard on top. How are you doing this?
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: I actually had two surfboards, so I'm a warhorse.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: And so April needed something out of the big bag,
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: which is the anchor bag.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: And I got everything out of the car at six
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: am in the morning, only for her to realize that
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: she hadn't put the.
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: Toiletry bag in the big bag anyway.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Ah, it was sitting on the kitchen bench waiting to
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: be packed. So of course I'm a peak annoyed about this.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: I've stacked the car back up. I've got the kids
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: in that've traveled really really well to the airport.
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: No dramas.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: Can I just ask you something and not to hone
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: in and focus too much on the flight. I feel
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: like I'm very flight focused right now. I'm like a
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: moth and the flame is the flight. I'm just saying,
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: let me in. I want some where did you guys sit?
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: What was your configuration? Because you've got four of you.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so it was a two four to two and
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: we were in the four packed flight, full to the brand,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: very full fight. Yeah, kids everywhere, and like I said,
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: they traveled really well to get there. But then the
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: dumb thing is when you travel with other families, is
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: the excitement of kids getting to an airport because I
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: don't understand that you've got to wait, you stand in line,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: you've got.
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: To go through security.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: They're going absolutely fucking mental in the airport terminal, like
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: trying to round, like trying to herd cattle.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: Ah, so far, that was.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: The worst part, I would say, because they're also excited.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: But also the good thing was we.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: Weren't all sitting together on the plane, which I think
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: is a top tip for me.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: Why they can't see their friends, so they're not like
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: like luu.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: So for the first couple was on the plane for
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: two four perfect. Put the kids in the middle, parent
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: on the outside. Those kids sat really well for about
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: two hours. The flights so long? What is it six
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: and a half hours?
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you feel like it's longer. On the way there.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: Did we take a detour or something? Quick? Stop off
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: in Darwin? Yeah?
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: The Captain's like, do we say Tokyo or baralot? Fuck?
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: Two hours?
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: They traveled really well. Then they started to get a
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: bit restless, as they do.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: And that's fair.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to sit here and every parent out
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: there that travels with toddler's nose, you can't expect them
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: to sit there for six and a half hours and
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: not make a peep.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: So of course they want to get up.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: And walking up up and down the aisles, go and
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: see their friend. You know, that's an hour or so
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: up and down. But it was kind of nice because
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: all of my kids went saw their friends, and April
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: and I just had four seats vessels for about an hour.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: It was great.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: But what you just let them lose on the plane.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Every now and then one kid would walk past give
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: away kick coming, but also also kept getting where we sat.
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: So he's like at the front of the plane in
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: business class.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: He's flying the plane.
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: I even was like, maybe I can upgrade me to business.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: Did you look at prices?
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: I was in the check in line and I was like,
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: just double checked sea.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: Could you imagine April if you're like, hey, I guess
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: he got an upgrade, mate.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: I think that's instant divorce, isn't it. I think that's
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: one of the worst things you could do to your
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: significant other.
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: But yeah, they.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: Traveled really well. We got here at a good time.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: We got to hear it like mid afternoon. But of
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: course it takes forever to get from the airport to
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: wherever you're staying because the traffic's so bad. Logistically getting
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: kids everything into a car.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: I've seen videos and it bally looks absolutely turbo these days.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: It's so so busy.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: It's always been busy because the roads are small and
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: there's just there's you know, there's like scooters, there's cars.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Cars are a nightmare getting around as well. It's just
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: like bumping a bump, but everywhere.
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: You add like as much to your trip.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: With a car, for sure, I would almost say triple wow,
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: just to manage expectations of anyone who's going to Bali.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: It's triple triple.
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: In a car, it's triple. Yeah, it's triple. It is
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: school holidays too, quadriple it. Yeah, just chuck an xtra.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: It is very busy. Everything's really packed. We got in Middavo,
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: got the kids. They hadn't slept the whole time, haven't
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: rested the whole time. They were wide up, they were delirious.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: They were running a mark in the hallway. One of
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: the girls hit one of the young girls, she's three.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: She was so worked up she then fell asleep sitting
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: up and then had a night terror while sitting there,
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: like so you can imagine her sitting there.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: And then all of a sudden going.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: Honestly, the poor thing she was, she was traumatized by it,
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: but it was fucking hilarious for me.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: If it's my kid, I'm like, oh, you're good. But
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: I was just like hysterically laughing, bless and yeah. The
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: next day woke up, beautiful day Bali.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: And of course our family trip is all the about family,
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: all about the kids. I condone that for most of the
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: part we spent the day by the pool and it
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: just happened to be my NRL Grand Final day. Yes,
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: we as a group collectively thought what we'll do. We'll
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: spend the day at the pool. Let the kids have
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: a good rest in the middle of the day so
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: that they can stay up late. We could go watch
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: the game, we can have dinner, we can do something
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: for the adults, but the kids can come along later,
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: so we're not completely ditching them with babysitizen sex on
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: night one and.
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: I think that's fair.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Barley's not very kid appropriate at pubs anyway, but they're
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: a bit more accommodating these days because more families are
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: coming here, right, and we make the short five hundred
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: meters walk, which five hundred meter walk in Barley for
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: a bunch of kids is like walking across the Sahara Desert.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: Quldrivele it. That was a nightmare to get there. And
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: they're at capacity. Sorry, we can't let anyone else in.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: We're full at capacity. This is bang on kickoff, by
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: the way, no contingency plan, of course, I forgot that.
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: Bali is pretty much a state of Australia.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's hard, it's hard to call it I remember
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: going to the State of Origin over in Bali watching
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: it at a pub and there was like no one
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: was really that into it. There was like a few people. Yeah,
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: could be a bit hit or miss.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: And we think, what do we do next, and instead
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: of being able to do something for us adults, we
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: unfortunately the only place that we could fit in was
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: and I'm not sure if you're familiar with a franchise
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: in a strait called Cheeky Monkeys.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: No, it's an indoor play center. So picture this. Me
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: a bit upset I can't get to the pub.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: To watch the Grand Final, then being dragged by a
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: bunch of because they kids spotted it. They spotted the monkey,
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: and it's a big monkey at the front of this place.
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, look, let's go in. Maybe
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: they've got a TV. Went in.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: They've got no AIRCN they've got no TV, they've got
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: no beers, and they've got a playground that looks like
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: a prison yard. But the kids are frothing.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: That's a fucking night man.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: At this point, I'm human fucking spent the day chasing
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: kids so that we could do this. It's too hot
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: for them to be fully closed, so They're all running
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: around pretty much naked.
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: And then the girl behind the buses, I've got no beers.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: What do you have?
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: Like what she's like, But you can go and get
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: beers and bring them in.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: So I went bought like twenty beers, and I'm like,
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: drag these beers in.
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: By the time I got back, the.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: Guys out there watching the footage on a three and
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: a half inch iPhone on delay, who are thirty five
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: minutes behind Heaven. First thought was like, oh thank god,
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: it was noisy as fuck because of the the echoing
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: through this playground. Well, the prison yard is I like
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: to call it the sums up traveling with or even
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: just parenting right, because you're like, have this goal and
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: idea in your mind where you're like, we're gonna do
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: everything right so that we can do something as parents
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: and the kids can still come along, and it ends
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: up just being all about the kids. Like I'm sitting
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: there in a stinking hot kids playground, staring at the
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: three and a half inch phone, drinking a warm beer
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: from the servo three blocks over.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: It's living the.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: Game finishes, the kids have eaten, were like, you know what,
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: there's a rooftop bar back at our hotel, so let's
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: go back there. Just the kids are wide up. It's
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: like nine o'clock at night now they're charging.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: Hang on, doesn't that mean that it's eleven o'clock like
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: Sydney time on night one? Fuck, these kids must be
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: off their.
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: Head, off their head.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: We went up to this rooftop bar and one of
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: the dads had checked it out and said, look, it's
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: there's no fences. Really, there's seats up against the edge
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: and you can literally you'll fall off under.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: The roof and roll down the roof and the on
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: the road. So we are perfect. Let's just go up
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: and have a look at the twenty four of it.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: The look on the bartender's face when we walked in
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: with twenty four people. They nearly fucking jumped off the roof.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: And the kids were at this point really hopped up on.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: They've been at a playground all day. They're all sunburnt,
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: they're all on eating lollies, eating whatever they can get
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: their hands on. I've completely taken over the dance floor
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: of this rooftop bar. We've cleared the plays out, people
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: have left. The best thing about was we all had
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: free cocktail vouchers, so the whole thing was completely free.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: I just got that.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Apparently this place every day you get too free cocktail delicious.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: So we're all up there at this point where the
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: kids are.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: Flying high, We're all we're all pretty tanked.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: And then we go all right, well, let's go back
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: to bath time and all.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: Then can I ask, are you going to tell me
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: your entire trip from start to finish, hour by hour?
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: No? Sorry, let me Oh, I just wanted to paint
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: the picture. The picture is painted, okay, yeah, cool, So
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: we went back. We did you know what I'm like?
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: Once I get on a tangent, we get back to bedtime.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: We woke up. I had cereal for breakfast alongside two
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: eggs which were scrambled. I sat at seat number forty two,
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: which was the back left hand corner of the restaurant.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Following that, I had a coffee.
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: I think the listeners appreciate my detail.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: It feels like we're there in BALI with you every
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: step of the way.
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: Anyway, let me finish, we get.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: Because also I want to get I want to get
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: to your accident as well. We've got to leave time
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: for the accident.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the dad's got the green light to kick on
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: after the kids went to bed, right.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: Did they get the green light or was there? Was
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: there never like an option for there to be any
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: other light color but green.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: No other options.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so we we we kick onto what we assumed
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: was a little sports bar after that that turned out
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: to be a nightclub.
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: So you can imagine six old heads in there.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: It felt like I was at schoolies, so I was
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: essentially at schoolies anyway, So it was all well and good,
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: and then we left pretty late, like two o'clock in
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: the morning. One of the guys that were with got
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: lost and then attempted to be abducted.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: He also got.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: Offered a really shaky hand job down the back alley
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: of some bar, but of course he was trying to
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: get home, spewed up in the lift and then.
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: Got alcohol poisoning. That's not one, that was just one.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: One of the other guys I was with also got lost,
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: but he got lost in the hotel and at two
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: thirty in the morning, he knocked on every single door
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: of the hotel to find his room. Every and I'm
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: talking four or five stories, twenty five rooms a story,
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: and thankfully he got halfway through to a friend's room
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: on my level because he's on the top level. He
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: got halfway through and my mate opened the door and
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: was like, the fuck the fuck are you doing. He
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: was like, I'm trying to find my room, and he
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: was like, I know.
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: Where your room is.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: So by this stage he'd knocked on like thirty forty rooms.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: I mean, I like his logic. He's like, do you
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: know what, I'm just kinda I'm going to knuckle down.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: I'm going to get it done.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: You have no shoes on it. So it was a
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: rough night because we woke up the next day. I've
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: gone down for breakfast at about eight o'clock. You know
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: me ice stick on the beers. I'm a big guy.
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: I think I had one Margie and then so I
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: was a bit dusty. I was a bit rough.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: And then I got downstairs and one of the wise goes, oh,
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: we've had to or we've had to order the doctors
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: in because one of the boys got ethanol poisoned.
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: So we're all sitting around.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: No is it one of those things where where people
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: just get people just get really like hungover, and like
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: I was poisoned. I was I had my drink spiked
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: it like, no, you just had like eighty four cocktails
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: and fourteen beers and you haven't slept.
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: He was to be fair, he was smashing the Long
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: Island ice teas.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: And so we're all day one and like it leads
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: me to the question, Matt, of day one.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: Everyone always has a blowout on day one of a holiday, right, Huh?
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: Is that is that fair? Today? Well? How my questions?
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: I want to know what your what your what you
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: would do?
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: How would you make it up to your significant other
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: if you were to have a massive blowout not show
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: face the next.
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: Day because you've drank too much, You've.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: Had to call the er nurse in to essentially hook
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: you be line you up to a drip to stop
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: you from profusely vomiting petrol all over a hotel room.
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: How do you make up for that?
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: I would take her out to the nicest Barlinese rooftop
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: sports bar without a fence possible, and treat herd of
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: one of the Long Island ized teas.
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: But I don't know, I.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: Don't know if we've got time ash for your accidents story?
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: Oh no, sorry, let's.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: Tell the story, because I have been worried sick since
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: you've been gone, because you know, Barlie's a place where
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: accidents happen. We all know that you know, and not
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: to say that I don't have all faith in your
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: abilities as an adult to look after yourself. I just
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: know that sometimes you can be a little bit accident prone.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: All I was thinking to myself, he's with April. He's
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: going to be okay because April will look after him.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: But you sent me a voice message last night which
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: it made me very nervous. I don't don't know if
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: you remember saying these things, but have a listen to this.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: I tried to do a double backflip off the Mississippi
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: diving board and go halfway through the second flip and
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: I think, I think, I think I need to go
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: to the hospital.
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: But I'll wait.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: I will wait until the inflammation goes down before I
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: decide whether.
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: To go to the hospital end or not.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: Have you have you gone to hospital or not? Have
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: you seek professional medical attention?
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: I walked it off, as they say.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: There's nothing. There's nothing than walking off a spinal injury.
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: I just slapped really hard.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: What did you do?
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: We went to a d a day club by the
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: name of Mississippi.
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: Those of you have seen it online. It's quite it's
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: quite photogenic. That's how I say.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: It's in Bali, and it's got a diving platform. It's
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: got three a very big, a one, a two meter
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: and a five meter I believe, I believe it's five meters,
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: which you might not think is very high, but your
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: ceilings only like two meters two and a half minut's
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: double that, which I am quite well known for bridge
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: jumping as a child and as a teenager.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: That's all we did in tweet because there's nothing else
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: to do that and get pregnant.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: And of course I have had to do a signature
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: backflip of mine, which is just a single backflip, legs straight,
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: perfect narrative.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: It went down well because sometimes you know, there's when
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: there's a diving platform in the background. At these types
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: of places, a lot of people around. You can't help
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: but be drawn to an individual who's up there, especially
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: when people know that like, well, he's facing the other way,
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: he's about to do some type of a flip here
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: did like did you come out up out of the
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: water and to rounds of applause, What was it like look,
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: there was a.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: Kid there doing like triple backflips and stuff. So mine wasn't.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: I fucking hate that, I fucking.
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: I know, really show.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: But my excuse was I was like, Bro, I have
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: ninety five kilo dad, two kids.
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: A single backflip is fucking impressive.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: Okay, Hey, I love I love. Just you told me
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: last night that April said she'd give you a blowjob
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: if you did it. Have a backflip.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: Blowjob. Unreceived.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: And of course, then of course my mates.
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: As you, as good mates to encourage you.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Other than you, Matt, You're the only one who'd be like,
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: don't do it, bro, I'm.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: All for the flips. I'm all for the flips. I've
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: got plenty of Yeah, big flip guy.
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: You're a big flip guy. Yeah. Let me show you
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: exactly how that went down, Matthew.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: I think what you will notice in that video one perform,
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: my form is outstanding. But second of all is the
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: sound of a thud hitting the water, the surface of
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: the water, followed by a collective groan of the whole
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: day club going.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: Fuck, that was good. That was good. That was That
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: was a grade backslap material. I'm just glad you're okay.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: When I was midway through that flip, my thought process
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: went to Matt's gonna love this, I was like, And
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: then I put on the bravest phase because in that video,
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: the two people at the front of my two mates
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: to have egged me on to do it, and they've
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: watched the whole thing unfolded front row seats and they're like.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: You're all right, Brian.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: I was like, and I remember putting myself back underwater,
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: going had some painkillers, slept it off, and now I've
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: got the mother of all bruises because that all of
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: the blood cells have come to the surface of the skin.
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: And I walked downstairs with my shirt.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: On, and one of the boys was like, did you
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: get stung by a jellyfish?
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: But I lived. I lived to tell another, to tell
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: another tale.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: You make me blooding over sash in.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: Weeks sincerely apologized for making you worried.
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: Dad.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: I'm going to message April and be like, keep him
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: on a tight leash for God's sakes.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: It's the dad instinct of you to worry about me,
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: and I appreciate that because no one else fucking cares.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: Anyway.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: Matt, let me, let me steguay into you because you
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: worried about me this whole time.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: Oh no, let's wrap it up, Ash.
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: No, sorry, sorry, that's very selfish of me.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: A little insight into what you'd be like as a lover.
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: Very good.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: A quick update on the round because Ash, I know that.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: I'm sure that's been at your the forefront of your
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: mind for the last few days.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: I'm really enjoying the content coming out of it. The
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: girls look like they love it.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: They do like it. They do like it. We were
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: down there recently, had a little weekend trip down there.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: The drive down it's a bit of a long drive.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: It's three hours from Sydney down to Aladalla. We left
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: in the afternoon, Ash, and normally it's pretty painless. We
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: left late, so we didn't get in until like nine
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: o'clock in the evening, so pretty late. The girls already
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: sleep in the back of the car. You know, I
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: was pretty exhausted. Not to sound like a hero, but
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: I did that drive myself, start to finish a little
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: stopover midway through.
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: That's pretty good, Thank you.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: I appreciate that. We get to our accommodation. Girls are asleep.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: Nana is also asleep. In the back of the car
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: as well. Laura is almost there. We get the girls
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: inside to two bedroom little place, so Nana's got one room,
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: Laura and I have the other room with the girls.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: We're all like in the one bed. We get Marley
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: and Lola. They're not in the pajamas at this stage.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: We just put them inside on the bed. We go
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: back to the car to get the suitcase and the
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: pajamas and nappy. Lola's in a nappy. We come back in.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: Lola's half awake and Thella looks at us and goes,
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: I just had a little accident, and we're like, We're like, okay,
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: that's it's annoying. It's annoying because she's very good. She
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: rarely has accidents. We kind of pull back the sheet
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: and she's done the biggest piss imaginable. She's just it's
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: like someone's got a two lead carton and just like
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: poured it out on the bed and she's there going.
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: Starry pipsy now bed.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: And you don't want to get annoyed. Obviously it's an accident,
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: you know, that's fine. At the same time, you don't
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: want to make it into a big because I just
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: want to. I just want to get you dressed and
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: put you down back to sleep, and then you know,
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: get a bit of rest myself. So we're like, that's okay,
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: we get her ready. The thing was ash, which worked
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: in my favor. I'm always on the left side. If
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: you're like looking at the bed, at the bed head,
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: I'm on the left side. Lolla pissed on the right side.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: Oh beautiful.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: I was like, sorry, babe, we can. We can swamp
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: if you want.
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: With a full intention that you don't want to.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: Laura had to sleep and piss so night one, I
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: was like, oh god, that is.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: A real I know it's an accident and you can't.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: You can't get up before it.
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: You want to. You're like, God damn it. But you're like, oh,
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: what a way to start a trip.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: Haven't slept in the bed at all, and she's already
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: pissed in it.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: It's a fucking nightmare. But then I'm popped into Mina
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: ten and I got myself some steel cap boots and
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: then they gave me like a Minor ten trade trade
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: shirt and I rocked up on site all all the guys,
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: I'd like a brand new shovel, like still had the
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: sticker on. It had these brand new boots, like not
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: a mark on them, and they're all like, oh you
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: are You're looking pretty squeaky clean. And I was like, hello, fellas,
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: my fellow tradesman.
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: Surely you chucked on the trading boys. Oh gosh.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: All they did was just take one look at me.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: I'm with Mike, who is an actual trading and you
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: were putting stuff on your story and I was like,
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: look look at young Matthew here apprentice, first year apprentice,
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: clean shovel.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: Mike was like, fucking, it looks pretty good.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: It looks the part you did you rub some dirt
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: on yourself or something before you.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: Got Yeah, I literally went into like I kind of
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: like where the tat was and the soil underneath the taps.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: It was a bit muddy, and I like rubbed the
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: bit of wall paint, rubbed it all over myself. And
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: then I kind of just I changed, you know, after
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: a few hours of being on the tools, it just
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: I felt like another tradesman came on side. He was
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: dropping something off, and I just I felt accepted. And
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: then and then we went and got Laura. Laura and
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: I got lunch because you know. I was like, had
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: this mud rubbed all over me and these big steelcup boots,
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: and Laura was like, oh, do you want to just
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: get changed quickly for lunch? And I was like, nah, nah,
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: I'll go down like this. And so I'm walking around
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: ala dalla looking for other trades to be like, here
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: you going. I didn't take off that outfit and the
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: boots for the whole weekend, start to finish.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: That is exactly what I expected from you, too, dude.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: I woke up the next morning and my poor hands
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: that normally they're only having to endure like twenty emails
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: written a day, and all of a sudden, they're like
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: lifting pits of wood and like moving bricks from like
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: A to b and they were so sore, dude, it
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: felt like my hands had been on over by a car.
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: Just achy.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: And also because steel boot caps are so heavy, my
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: little ankles. The next day, I was so sore.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: If a real trade is shooting into his chat now, pathetic.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: I don't know if you can see the scratches.
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, oh look at that.
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: At that I had this high pressure cleaner. There's like
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: four parts to it. It's like you've got the hose.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: You've got the like the like the gun handle at
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: the end, and then you got the unit. The instruction
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: manual is like, we're not going to give you the
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: instructions for how to connect it because it's literally just
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: like one goes into two, two goes into three, three
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: goes into four.
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: You're good, it's obvious. Yeah.
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: I couldn't. I couldn't figure it out. I couldn't figure
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: it out. And Laura was like, Hey, let's let's hurry
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: up and let's gurnie this area here because we want
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: to get back to the kids because Nana had the kids. Yeah,
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: hurry up and get it done. And I was trying
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: to figure out how to do it.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: GURNI is the final Trady test when you finish your
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: four year apprenticeship.
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: They're like, all right, now put this together.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: You're I couldn't do it, and she goes, just ask
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: one of the boys for help, and I'm like, I'm
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: not fucking asking one of the guys here for help,
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: Like I can I can do this. She gave me
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: about twenty minutes and then was like and I was like,
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: can you go ask him for help? I had to
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: like hide behind a bush as Laura had to get
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: the guys that helps it up the gurney. But then
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: as we're about to leave, this is the last day,
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: we had to go back on site just check one
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: last thing. And I don't know if you saw ash
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: on Laura's socials, but we now have a new pet
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: down in Ala Dallah.
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: What is it?
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: So as we're leaving in the branches above the house,
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: this is in the front courtyard, there's a two meter
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: diamond python.
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: It's fucking massive, it's big.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: Laura was going, we need to get it, get it
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: out of here, and I was like, no, Like, it's
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: in a tree. It's just chilling, and I don't want
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: to like disturb it. And I go they kill the rodent.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: So yeah, that's what everyone says. And yet young children
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: apparently like they love cats, so Raspberry can't come down.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: But Laura's screaming. As I'm inside, She's like, mad, come here.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: I run outside and she's like, get it. And it
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: was then like just about to pop over into the
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: gutter the corner of the roof, and I was like, fuck,
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: I'm not too worried about it, because I'm like, you
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: get you get snakes and roofs all the time. But
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: at the same time, it's half finished and there's lots
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: of nooks and crannies for it to be in. I'm
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: trying to get it with a shovel, but I also
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: it's a fucking snake, dude, I don't want to like
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: attack the snake. The snake is now inside the roof,
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: so the tails just hanging out the gutter. I like,
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: try and grab the tail, but I can't reach it.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: Snake's inside, and we end up calling a snake catcher
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: and he's like, yeah, you guys, that's like there's no way.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: You can't really set like a trap. You can't bait snakes.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: It's just going to come out by its own free will.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: And we sit in the video and we're like, well,
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: it looks like it's eating something. So I'm guessing it
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: has a bit of a bulge it's belly, and he goes, no,
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: that's because the bulge is so far back towards the tail.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: That's that's a pregnant snake. That's its babies. So he
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: reckons that coming into someone this is when they give birth.
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: So the snake is now in our roof. It's now
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: going to lay its eggs in the roof most likely,
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: and raise it's young in the house.
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: Tope, be charging rent.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: I'm not worried.
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: I don't like no what I will say.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: And I've got experience in this field, believe it or not.
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: I used to be a snake handler.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: No, no, you didn't.
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: No no.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: We used to have a diamond python in the roof
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: of my parents' house as a child, and it lived
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: there for years and it.
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: Kept all the rodents away, brilliant, not a problem.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: And then one night Dad was going to the bathroom,
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: and he went to the bathroom and he came back
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: and he thought what was on the banister was a
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: towel to wipe his hand dry.
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: His hands turned out to be a snake.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: So he's gone to grab the snake, and the things
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: like lunched at him in the middle of.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: The How the fuck did he get a towel and
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: a snake mixed up?
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: It was dark and it was wrapped, it was like
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: over that it was sitting that looked like it was
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: just draped over there.
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: Cheeky bugger.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: And then I get this. I wasn't living there at
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: the time because I'd moved out. I got this video
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: of Dad at two o'clock in the morning, butt naked
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: because Dad loves to sleep naked for some fucking reason,
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: with a dog cage, trying to lure this snaked and
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: apparently it's the only time it ever came in the house,
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: and it's because one of the windows.
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: Was left open.
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: That's what I am about.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: They'll keep the roads, but I think a family of
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: snakes might be a bit much. Yeah, but Matt, let's
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: treat our listeners to one of their favorite segments, which
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: is parenting Bise tell.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: Me louvedve ash. We got this video submitted from one
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: of our lovely listeners, Jess, who are sent it in
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: so I'll get to watch this one right now.
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: Could I have some of your watermelon?
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: No, my water mamma, bitify.
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: So you're going to eat it even though it's spicy.
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, they're under it.
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: When they start using our weapons against us.
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: I know because it means we need to up our game.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: Mike keeps using a lion me at the moment where
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: literally I asked her not to do something, she does
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: it and then she's like, oh sorry, I thought you
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: said eat the chocolate, And I'm like no, you didn't.
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: And she's like, I just I got confused. I couldn't
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: quite hear what you said. And I'm like, Marley, you
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: fucking heard me. And she's like, yeah, no, Justine, So.
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: It doesn't similar thing.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: But he's like, I'm like, did you just lie to me?
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: He's like, what's that?
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: Like, you're a fucking idiot.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: Very also very clever, Like if you don't, he's probably.
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: Out of the assumption. If he doesn't know what it is,
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: know what a lie is, then he can't get in trouble.
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: How could it be guilty?
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've got one for you, Matt that I used personally.
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: Sorry to make this all about me again, please, but
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: I wanted to share this one with you because.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: I thought it had a little I nearly got caught out,
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: but I built on the lie and got away with it.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: So just paint you a quick picture. We've traveled all
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: day to Bali. We've got here, it's five o'clock. Kids
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: haven't rested, and we get here and the kids see
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: the pool straight away full of kids, full of people
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: and Oscar's and look, we're exhausted.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: We traveled all day.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: If it was midday whatever, fine, but It's five o'clock
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: in the afternoon, and I've said to Oscar, I've said,
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, buddy, the pools closed. I know you can
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: see people in there, but they're just not accepting any
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: new swimmers in the pool.
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: Very good, very good, very bummed out.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: He was very bummed out. He can see all these
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: kids having a really really good time. I also noticed
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: that they were setting up a projector screen at the
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: pool for a dusk movie. Okay, And I've come up
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: to the room. Our room overlooks the slide in the pool,
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: like legit right there, and Oscar's like, the.
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: All kids having fun.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: Anyway, I've shut the curtains and I've said we're gonna
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: have some dinner.
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: The pool's closed. I told you that.
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: And as I've put them started to put them to sleep,
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: the movie kicks off and it surfs up the movie. Oh,
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: great film, great film. The screen is right outside my door.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: They've got two speakers the size of people on top
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: of these two sticks, projecting directly into my room.
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: And Oscar was like, I can hear. I can hear
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: a movie. And I was like, oh yeah, Bud, you
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: had to buy tickets for that anyway, I cranked up
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: the white noise and shut the curtain and the pork. Yeah,
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: and the pork. He went to sleep, missed out surfs up.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: I reckon, You've you've got one more year of being
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: able to bend the truth that much. He's going to
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: start catching on.
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, And honestly, I was just thinking on
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: my feet, and that's what good parenting is, thinking on
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: your phone to adapt.
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: Hey, normally at this point of the episode, we would
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: do listen to questions. However, on this particular episode because
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: it's so special, the fact that one of us is
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: overseason BALI must be very nice, Ashton Wicks. We're going
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: to rest questions. We're going to do them next week.
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: I know people are going to be really upset, but
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: that's my fault.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: I take responsibility for wasting all of our time.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: Actually, next week, ash you are going to enjoy your
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: holiday to its fullest. We're going to do an episode
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: with Laura Burns. She will be the ash Wicks Ooh.
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: And is there an opportunity for me to dial in
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: at some point?
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: Yes, as long as you're not enjoying the fine drinks
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: of the long holand iced teas of BALI, I don't
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: know if we have time for that one hour in
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: and you're like, and then we had dinner. The hard
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: thing about dinner, there's twenty four of us. What's the
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: deal with dinner? Hey, just quickly ash before we go.
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: I had a lovely interaction driving back. We stopped in
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: at Little RSL in Wollongong and a lady was like,
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: oh my gosh, it's you. And we don't often get
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: this in public. It rarely happens, so it's very flattering
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: when it does happen. Stacy said, I was just telling
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: my husband about the podcast and she goes to love
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: it's helped me so much because I just got out
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: of hospital and I was like, oh no, she's currently
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: going through chemo, And she said, I just want to
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: say thanks so much for giving me just a little
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: bit of fun and laughter at the time of my
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: life where I've been feeling pretty low. So Stacy, I'm
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: going to assume you listening to this episode, but we're
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: thinking of you. We know you got a huge battle
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: on your hands. We're stoked that we can offer you
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: just a little bit of help. So all of us here,
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: two dating dads, we're thinking of your.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Stacy, all the best with treatment and hopefully you
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: bounce back quickly and hopefully maybe one day we can
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: come down for a.
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: Beer at that RSL mat And it's a great RSL,
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: the fig Tree, great, great establishment. And Ash we are
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: where you're itching towards one hundred episodes. I think we're
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: at ninety three, maybe ninety four, maybe ninety six, I've
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: lost count, but we are in the nineties. We will
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: do something very special for hundreds. We're planning it at
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: the moment, So just stay tuned, keep an eye out
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: on our socials and also to the episodes because the
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: announcement is coming soon, something very special.
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: Listeners very excited. And I love it when you bring
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: me news like that.
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: Love it. I love it, love it, love it.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: If you've enjoyed this episode, please jump on leave us
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: a review.
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: Five stars would be great if you could.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: Do that, Write us a little message, write us a
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: little message.
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: We love that.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: And if you want to get in touch of course, Matt,
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: where do they do that? Oh?
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: I was like, they can't do it on an email
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: Hello at two Doting dads dot com or on Instagram
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: two Doting Dads. There's TikTok on the website Two Doting
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: Dads dot Com, Facebook to Facebook group.
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: I'm going to jump on today, just so you know,
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: jump on today. Give a little life update for me.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: Maybe picture the kids having a good time and see
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: if anyone's got any cool Barley recommendations.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: While I'm please be safe the love of God, just
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: come back home in one piece.
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: Ash. Yeah, look, I promise from here on out, I'll
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: do my best.
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: You're making me nervous. Enjoy your holiday, mate. We'll chat
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: to you soon, all right, See guys bye.
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: Do you know what it reminds me of that movie
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: The Castle and His Dad? I dug a hole.
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Straight
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: Islander peoples today.
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: This episode was recorded on gadagal Land