Latest / The Curve / RTC114: Meg + Guy say goodbye to 'Daddy Daycare'.

Transcript

RTC114: Meg + Guy say goodbye to 'Daddy Daycare'. · The Curve

0:00
Welcome to Raising the Curth, a podcast designed to teach you everything you need to know
0:05
to be better with your money.
0:07
And the wise words of Amy Shurma were slipping carrots into the brownie recipe.
0:11
I don't really get the saying.
0:14
It's kind of like eating vegetables that actually taste good.
0:17
You know, I'm like, still not ready to eat.
0:19
Are you on the script?
0:20
It's basically like saying, investing in finance can be boring, but it totally doesn't
0:26
need to be.
0:27
OK, OK, so we're making it fun by putting the carrot.
0:31
OK, the vegetables are just good for you.
0:33
It's the brownie recipe.
0:34
OK, we got there.
0:35
OK, OK.
0:36
Well, you've really got a finance mate.
0:38
Yeah, one of us has to.
0:40
This is a joke.
0:41
OK, come and learn alongside me from Vick Harris, ex-fun manager.
0:45
Well, I'm going to ask all the questions that you wish you could.
0:48
And I'm going to be eating all the brownie you wish you could.
0:50
No, it's so not the joke, Vick.
0:53
OK, just come and talk and learn and laugh with us.
0:56
Because together, we really can raise the curve.
1:00
So was this interview just a bit of a trip down in Relaine for you?
1:04
It was.
1:05
It was so weird, actually.
1:08
Like, amazing, but so, especially because we did it in the edge, like the media works
1:13
studios.
1:14
So it felt like a real trip back in time.
1:17
Not quite professional, didn't it?
1:19
Especially with four people in an interview to be honest, having an actual part of the
1:23
studio was really fun, wasn't it?
1:25
Yeah.
1:26
Two more hosts on this podcast.
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We're quite fun.
1:29
We'll have a field day.
1:30
Can you imagine?
1:31
Sometimes they listen to this podcast back and I'm exhausted listening.
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Imagine if there was four people doing it.
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Anyway, what I loved about this interview was I got to find out what Sof was like at
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broadcasting school.
1:45
They had some great stories, which I was just like, I know this is finance podcast,
1:50
but please share, share, share.
1:52
Oh, God.
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Honestly, remembering some of that stuff was like quite embarrassing.
1:58
The reason we wanted to speak to them, so sorry, we haven't even said who we're talking
2:01
to.
2:02
So Megan, she's on as Megan and Ian or Megan here.
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She's on the breakfast show of the edge, which is a New Zealand radio station.
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And then Guy Mancell is her husband, they've been together for 10 years and he is a
2:14
stay-at-home dad.
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So she's basically like going to work every day while he looks after their gorgeous daughter.
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I loved having a couple on.
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I loved talking about the difference and the way that they structure their life and their
2:29
finances and everything.
2:30
And I just found it really hot energy to bear out on a specific.
2:34
Yeah.
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If I was with someone that was open to or didn't just assume that I was going to be the one
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that stays home, I would be like, have my babies.
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Have my babies?
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Well, I mean at that point maybe I am having their babies, but it was just like really cool
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to hear from Guy's perspective.
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How...
2:55
Yeah, I don't know.
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I just listened and I was like, oh, you guys are so cool.
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Yeah.
2:59
It was such a fun chair.
3:00
I loved it.
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Lots of lulls.
3:02
Lots of lulls.
3:03
Lots of learnings.
3:04
We hope you enjoyed it.
3:05
Should we talk about firstly how we met?
3:07
I think maybe that's a good start to this interview.
3:09
Well, Sophie is such a big part of my career.
3:13
You know I give you a shout out every time when you've very much about my job because
3:17
Sophie got me my job.
3:18
I didn't get it.
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Yes, she did.
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You're so modest.
3:21
I definitely didn't get it.
3:23
She did.
3:24
She got me a foot in the door that would not have happened without Sophie Hall, right?
3:27
No.
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So I'm always like, at night time, I'm like, thank you.
3:30
I've got to Sophie Hall, right?
3:31
Sophie Hall, right?
3:32
Sophie Hall, right?
3:33
That's the same.
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I'm just so grateful.
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Sophie went to Broadcasting School to the 13, 12, 13 years ago now and went to Broadcasting
3:40
School together and outside of that I got an internship in Queen Sam's.
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So I've got a breakfast producer internship at the edge.
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What was off like at Broadcasting School?
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So I was exactly the same.
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I only met you later in life.
3:53
Yeah.
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When you blossomed.
3:55
Oh my gosh.
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She was like, the class hottie.
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I remember one time, actually, you were like, oh, no, I forget.
4:04
I don't forget.
4:05
It's like a couple.
4:06
Don't worry.
4:07
So it's a couple of it.
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But there was like a group chat or whatever we had back in 12 years ago.
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There was some sort of group chat.
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And so it was like, hi, everybody is anybody available to pick me up for the airport?
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I'm six a.m. Sunday morning.
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They were like, Steven Boyz.
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Like, yes, so far.
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So not true.
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I remember it off of fucks like a bicycle.
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That would be silent.
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It's just like, oh my god.
4:27
I love that.
4:28
Just using it to your advantage.
4:29
That's being kind of palatable.
4:30
I just, I have no idea.
4:31
I have no idea.
4:32
I was such a dick at 18.
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Like I looked like it was up and I think, well, she's grown up a lot.
4:36
Yeah, yeah.
4:37
I'm sure you have.
4:38
But you really weren't a dick.
4:39
You were all using it to come across a dick.
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Apart from her obvious good look.
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So if he was very much like the go getter of the class,
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she was the best in sales in the class.
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I remember that.
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She was good at sales.
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And I remember thinking I wanted to be more like you
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because you have this amazing ability.
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And I still think you do to put blinkers on.
4:56
And I feel like you want you focusing on something
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and nothing really gets in your way.
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So I've recently just covered why that is.
5:02
Oh, okay.
5:03
I just been diagnosed there yesterday.
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Yay.
5:05
You did it.
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So either you're completely unfocused on something or obsessed with it.
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I'm like, oh, it's all making sense.
5:12
Oh, well, when you got obsessed with sales,
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it was great.
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She did so well for the whole class.
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And basically got us passed over the threshold.
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Thank you for that.
5:19
We had to sell radio advertising.
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It's part of our degree.
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Like you didn't pass your degree if you.
5:23
That's such a good thing to learn though.
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Selling anything at a young age.
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Like learning sales.
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If you can sell something, gosh, I wish I was better sales.
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I'm terrified speaking to strangers.
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Oh, God.
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Fun and enough.
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I think we are to me and guy, you nearly failed sales, right?
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I just passed because of family frame point.
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You're like, please, please.
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I was very close to filing.
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And that's the other thing as well with the broadcasting school.
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It was the only subject within the whole year
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where if you failed it, you got kicked out of the class.
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Whereas everything else, you just got to fail.
5:52
What about P.P?
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Didn't we get to it?
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Would you remember P.P?
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You don't remember P.P?
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That's godly.
5:57
What was a personal personality?
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Personal performance.
6:01
It was so bad when I think about it.
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We're in university.
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All three of us are different sectors.
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And so there's like a class of 22 people
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and these are like 22, 18 to 20 year olds mainly.
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And you live like together, you work together,
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you study together, and then you get given
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an anonymous sheet of paper.
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You get to write whatever you want about the other people.
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And they can fail if they don't pass the personnel
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that people like you enough.
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I'm going to say La Violin, but I like La Violin.
6:29
It's awful.
6:30
We're like subordinates as well.
6:32
Yeah.
6:33
Cold into the tutors office
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and they would go through comments and ratings like that.
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What if everyone just ganged up on you and were like,
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we don't like, we don't like.
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They did have that.
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I had one comments and I dressed too promiscuously to class.
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Oh my god, that just would not fly now.
6:47
I know.
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Crazy like all the world changes.
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I'm a mum myself.
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I said that because my mum was livid at the time
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and I remember being like quite upset
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because I was embarrassed, right?
6:54
Yeah.
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And I was like, it's like slut-shaming, really.
6:57
Yeah, it is.
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It is.
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And I also did not.
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Do you remember when we were like released?
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No, I was.
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You always dress hot though.
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Neck was hot.
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And she was also the cool older one.
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Like she was always a little bit older.
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Like I know two years isn't much.
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It felt like a lot.
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She was here.
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I was the tryhard who was always like, you know,
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trying to be nice around.
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And megas kind of just cool and like on the side.
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Do I mean?
7:15
Don't you remember me the same?
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Don't you remember me?
7:17
I don't.
7:18
Because Bigger was asked like, why did I make a move on her sonar?
7:21
Yeah.
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And I was like, I honestly, the reason that I never did is
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because I always thought she would just laugh me out the door.
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Like she seemed too cool.
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Yeah.
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But she was like, well, because you were too cool.
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I thought, I think it was too cool.
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He was, he was like the cool hot white boy.
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He was, he was.
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Oh, yeah.
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So funny when you don't grow.
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Yeah.
7:39
So, okay.
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So let's just talk about the relationship dynamics.
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Because the reason we wanted to get you in firstly,
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how long have you two been together?
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We have been married going on four years.
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We've been together for ten.
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Ten.
7:51
Yeah.
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So I didn't realise that until five seconds ago.
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I mean, we've been together for ten years.
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And I thought, I remember the day I told you to chuck him.
7:57
Yeah.
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And there was a bit of a month ago, ten years ago.
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It was a ridiculous reason.
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I was sending me a Valentine's text, and so I was like, is that the set?
8:04
Yeah.
8:05
It's like.
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We've been dating for like three months, and I didn't text you.
8:08
No, I didn't.
8:09
Three months.
8:10
I would expect a text.
8:11
Thank you.
8:12
I don't know.
8:13
I've been three months over.
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Consistency is staying over.
8:16
Yeah, yeah.
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I expect a text.
8:18
Yeah.
8:19
You were 21 though.
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21, and you hinted send me a text.
8:21
Yeah, actually, 21.
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21, you're a boy.
8:23
Yeah.
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We were so stupid at that age.
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I just was, I just don't think the emotional maturity has certainly not kicked in maybe
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until like maybe a year ago.
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Yeah.
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I remember I hooked up with a guy on like a Saturday night, and then on Sunday, he sent
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me a Valentine's.
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Like, I'd never met him before in my life, and he dropped me home in an Uber on the
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Saturday nights when he knew my address.
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And then I had the Valentine's, it was a bottle of tequila the next morning, and I was
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like, creep.
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Absolute creep.
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Oh, it's so weird.
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Where's that heaven now?
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Do you want to marry me?
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Yeah.
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I just don't know.
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It's amazing.
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You've even made your address.
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I'm not so good at all.
8:55
Oh, my God.
8:56
I reckon dating in your 30s though, the worst thing about it is that you're so hyper aware
9:00
of the red flags at this point.
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You know, because there's this massive joke about how like, you just ignore all the red flags.
9:06
They hit you in the face, and you're like, I don't know why, so then you got, then you
9:10
need the opposite.
9:11
And someone's like, hey, it's nice to see you, and they're like, oh my God, they just
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see it.
9:15
It was nice to see me.
9:16
You know, he must be.
9:17
Anyway, the reason you wanted to get you on was because you wanted to talk about relationship
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dynamics, obviously finances, but also you guys have a really unique situation.
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Where?
9:27
Meg.
9:29
I hate the word breadwinner.
9:30
Like, if the lamest term you ever have we recon that, do you guys refer to it differently?
9:34
No, it's like breadwinner.
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Or sugarmama.
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Yeah.
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I prefer going with sugarmama.
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Sugarmama.
9:39
Yeah.
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It is special.
9:41
Yeah.
9:42
Nice.
9:43
No, yeah.
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Breadwinner is that I earn the high income, and at the moment, earn the only income in
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guys' stay at home, dad, especially for two years now.
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Yeah, I'm serious.
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That's amazing.
9:52
Yeah.
9:53
It's a lot of fun.
9:54
This is probably inappropriate to share, but in Bondite, do you remember seeing hot days
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walking around with their toddlers?
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And you'd be like, doof.
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Yes.
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Not actually.
10:03
Yeah.
10:04
Because you often don't see it, actually.
10:05
No, no.
10:06
It's getting more common that what we've found, and Guy has also found that more and more
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of your friends have been wanting to do it, and not fighting with their partners, but
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having conversations of, would you mind me taking some of that maternity leave off?
10:18
Because that's what we did.
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I did four months maternity leave, and then came back to work because I had to, because
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we had to earn money.
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So I went back to four AMS, and that's for the four month old baby, which is just another
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four AM.
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Just guessing I missed that.
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Another star?
10:32
I was a baby that also didn't sleep through the night and breastfeeding and all of that.
10:35
But did you just feel drunk on air?
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It was, I got through life for two years for adrenaline.
10:40
Yeah.
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We figured out it was just purely I had to do it, so I had to be done.
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And also for the fact that I had a, you know, a truly amazing support of incredible husband,
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and he took four months off as well.
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So then he took four months maternity leave off.
10:52
And after those four months, he was like, you know, what?
10:56
Because we had a nanny organized who's going to come in and come in at four, because
11:00
Guy also did morning shift.
11:01
I was going to say, what was your last media job?
11:03
So I was a breakfast producer on the rocks.
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We both went to the same company, the same building, same hours, same hours.
11:09
I just wasn't on air.
11:10
So I was still, we were both going into work at the same time.
11:13
And there's like dreamy and one way and the sense that you're on the same schedule,
11:16
but also shit, because it means like how on earth do you find a nanny that's willing
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to start at four AMS?
11:20
So we managed to find one.
11:21
Yeah.
11:22
So it took us months and months because you also don't, you just get any old nanny who
11:25
will do it, right?
11:26
You want to get it also a good nanny who will do it.
11:29
We finally found one and a week or two weeks, we truly liked 14 days without two weeks
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before she was supposed to start.
11:37
She messaged saying, hey guys, I've had a bit of a fall in the gym and she like threw
11:42
her back out and had a concussion and a concussion.
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So obviously we didn't want somebody with a concussion to look after our kid.
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Obviously we wanted her to recover.
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So she said, Dr. Rickens, I'll be back up in a month.
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So I asked my boss, can I stick around, like take another month off?
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He said, take all the time you want.
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And then it got to about a week before she was supposed to be starting again.
12:00
And it was just radio silence.
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And then she says, like, hi, I'm really sorry, but I'm just not going to be able to do
12:05
it at all.
12:06
And there was that was like panic stations for us, but there was also this kind of amazing
12:10
moment where guy, which I had always hyped, came to the realization.
12:16
I was like, I can't do this, I can't do this, I knew I couldn't push on him because I
12:29
didn't want him to resent me if it wasn't purely his own decision.
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I said to him, if I'm being honest, I think I even basically said, best case scenario.
12:37
Like it would be that you'd be home with her because then I panicked because you were
12:41
a dad and she was still on the eight months old.
12:44
And a lot of people were in situations that they just, their kids have to go to daycare
12:48
even younger than that because of going back to work and how much money people have to
12:51
earn to go to daycare and whatnot.
12:53
But yeah, you made the decision, best thing ever.
12:56
Yeah, for me, it wasn't so much about missing my job because like what I had to do every
13:00
day was kind of basic.
13:01
It was, it was all good.
13:02
It was the people I worked with, like the team, I would miss them.
13:05
But then after about, after that extended month where I wasn't planning on doing it,
13:10
but then I did, over that month I was like, actually no, this is, this is really fun.
13:15
I do totally get that feeling of community at work, especially in media, there's your best
13:21
friends you work with them, it's so much fun to go and earn.
13:25
I think there is such a double edge industry in a way, like there is that beautiful side
13:29
of such great friends.
13:30
And then even for you, that pressure of like having to come back after four months is
13:34
like, and not just financially, I'm sure there was also elements of like I need to be
13:37
on air because.
13:38
It's not very much, very much so because it will place ability in this job.
13:42
Oh, because I would say the opposite, I would have thought you're, I guess, less replaceable
13:46
because you.
13:47
Placing golden parts.
13:48
But you're like the face, the voice, you know, you're on air, that kind of thing.
13:52
I mean, I didn't feel that way.
13:54
Yeah.
13:55
They don't really make you feel like that.
13:56
I'm sure.
13:57
Yeah.
13:58
Is that a bad thing to say?
13:59
I'm like, well I mean.
14:00
I don't know if it's changed.
14:01
I was not here.
14:02
Like it was 10 years ago that I worked here.
14:03
It felt like that at the time we've had lots of conversation since and I don't think
14:07
they actually even meant to make me feel that way.
14:10
I can definitely reflect and take on some of like my own anxieties and my own worries and
14:15
my own lack of confidence in myself and my job that I looked into things probably
14:20
too with a fine comb.
14:22
Is that fine too with comb?
14:23
Like trying to be like, is that what they mean here or like, are they getting somebody
14:25
else?
14:26
Would they prefer this person to replace me?
14:27
Also, at that time, the whole show that I was on fell apart, two people left and there
14:31
was just me left and I was on maternity leave.
14:33
So I went back after, after four months, but, um, because the baby's on.
14:37
It was four months.
14:38
Like, so tiny.
14:39
And also, you born to be another, so I imagine that would have been kind of a hard decision.
14:44
It was, it was really hard.
14:45
It made it so much easier knowing guy was home.
14:48
So like, I, and I tell you all the time, I'm so unbelievably grateful for that sacrifice
14:52
that you made with your career for me to be able to be better in mind because I wasn't
14:57
worried.
14:58
So they say the, the word sacrifice, I feel like that's not the right word because it's
15:01
like, is if I'm giving something up, like it's like a rule, like, um, of, like,
15:05
doing your best.
15:06
Well, you're doing your best.
15:07
And like, and that's, and that's one thing, like that year, I just paid off my student
15:10
line for the job that I was in and then I left.
15:11
So it was kind of really ironic, but like, I guess there's always someone that has to
15:16
make a sacrifice.
15:17
Yeah.
15:18
Yeah.
15:19
Yeah.
15:20
Yeah.
15:21
Yeah.
15:22
I'm hanging out with my daughter every day.
15:23
Like, that shouldn't be a sacrifice.
15:24
Yeah.
15:25
Like, it's, like, it's an honor.
15:26
But then a sacrifice could be you both going to work and then you have to sacrifice time
15:30
with your daughter and pay someone else.
15:32
So it's kind of, I, I guess it is true.
15:35
It's like, what, what do you think you're sacrificing?
15:37
What are you willing to sacrifice for the gain of something else?
15:41
But.
15:42
And thing is, that was the other thing that helped with the decision is that we had a,
15:45
on paper, a good nanny, which means you had to pay a good rate.
15:48
I wasn't on a fantastic salary.
15:50
So when we ran numbers, it was actually, we saved $100, we're saving $100 a fortnight
15:56
if I quit.
15:57
Yeah.
15:58
It was, it was literally, yeah, if you're paying somebody out of my account into hers.
16:03
And that's what a lot of people will be going through with, um, and I think, I think
16:07
with the government changes, but I think it's getting changed to the free fees of
16:09
Daker and, and stuff that you work it out and you go, actually, it would be about the
16:14
same amount of money.
16:15
If not, they're losing money to be at work, like, because it's, it's, it's, it's so expensive
16:20
these things.
16:21
And then it becomes the thing of, okay, do I want to spend, where do I want to spend
16:23
my time?
16:24
Yeah.
16:25
Because the money's pretty much net net.
16:26
Yeah.
16:27
You're not existing.
16:28
It's like, do I want to be in a job with other people or do I want to be spending time
16:32
with my daughter?
16:33
And then there's a lot of guilt in that because I, even if I wasn't earning all the money
16:37
and it makes me feel sick, even saying, saying it, but like, I wanted to go back to work
16:43
even not maybe no after four months, but I, and there's a, oh, yeah, I hate it, many,
16:48
I already, my brain's told me, like, get them to cut that out.
16:51
It's like, it is a horrible thing to have to remember, especially for mothers.
16:54
I feel like mothers shouldn't ever want to leave their children.
16:56
But I am in a job that I do love and I do it with people that are my best friends.
17:01
I am home in midday, so I do think I get quite lucky in that way that, like, sure, I get
17:05
up at four, but it means because she wakes up at about seven, I don't miss as much as
17:11
other mums do.
17:12
So, like, I can sit there and be like, well, I'm okay to go to work because I get to
17:15
see her in midday.
17:16
Whereas other mums get to see them at six.
17:17
But I also think there's an element and you can tell me to f off, but you also are trying
17:22
to justify that.
17:23
Oh, yeah.
17:24
And like, even if you do work till six, and that's what you want to do, it shouldn't
17:28
be this horrible thing.
17:29
Yeah.
17:30
You sell first person for not wanting to spend your entire day in life with your kid.
17:34
Like, it doesn't mean you don't love them, but it means that maybe you're really inspired
17:37
by what you do for work or you feel a sense of fulfillment when you do exercise it.
17:42
Like, absolutely.
17:43
There's definitely a field of, especially with motherhood.
17:46
And I don't know how you have felt it.
17:48
Actually, guy, if you have had people talk to you about, like, I know a lot of people
17:52
are asking me, like, well, when's guy going to go back because they're still confused
17:55
as to, like, why guy isn't back in working?
17:58
Yeah.
17:59
I've had a few people.
18:00
There were still lots of questions when I was in the first few months of paternity leave.
18:05
Like, are you going to come back?
18:06
And those, those questions, they pop up every now and then now.
18:10
And I just say to them, if they ever do pop up, I just go, if the perfect job came up,
18:16
then I'd consider it.
18:17
But I don't know what that perfect job is.
18:19
Like, I don't know if it would be working in the afternoon so that we still get some
18:22
time in the middle of the day.
18:23
I mean, we still want to have a second baby at some point.
18:26
So we're kind of like, we're going to see, and what the funny thing is, I hope it's
18:31
okay.
18:32
I'm not going to say how much I earn right now because I think it would actually be my
18:34
posses we've made it me because it's still one of those things, like it's like, yeah.
18:37
But I think, so I was like, day was my next question.
18:41
I'm lucky to earn it.
18:44
I'm very lucky enough to earn enough that guy can do what he does.
18:48
I, it's, we still budget every single pay.
18:51
Like two a tea and there are still pays where I, you get the sweats about four days out.
18:57
You're like, I don't think we're going to make it and I don't know that we're going
18:59
to make those ends meet.
19:00
So we're not in a position where we're comfortable, but we are in a position where we're able
19:04
to.
19:05
Yeah.
19:06
Because I think that's what a lot of people think has happened is that my salary was just
19:08
throwing money.
19:09
He's like, some spending money's gone.
19:11
Like guy, guy salary.
19:12
No, no, no.
19:13
We've got to go to Fiji.
19:14
Like it was, we really had to crunch the numbers and there are plenty of times where we,
19:18
like we're getting paid in a couple of days and we're looking at each other at the
19:20
bank.
19:21
Oh, we thought we had more.
19:22
Do you guys want to know how much we're going to have in the bank account now?
19:23
Yeah, yeah.
19:24
Should we all check our bank accounts?
19:25
Right, we're speaking.
19:26
I'm not sure in my bank account.
19:27
Oh, it's going up to 65.
19:28
Oh, it's going up to 65.
19:29
Oh, it's going up to 65.
19:30
Oh, it's going up to 65.
19:31
Oh, it's going up to 65.
19:32
Oh, it's going up to 65.
19:33
Oh, it's going up to 65.
19:34
Yeah.
19:35
And $200 and 12 cents, my emergency card.
19:36
Last night's shirt, we had like $100 and 35.
19:37
You've got $2.75, sir.
19:38
What?
19:39
I'd say we've got about $200 and my emergency card, but 36 and my main account.
19:42
I've $40 and 42 cents.
19:44
$29 and 35 cents.
19:46
Nice.
19:47
I'm sorry, can I just say I know that's a bit dire, but also it definitely shows that we're
19:52
not keeping keeps of money in the bank, which as I've learned is actually really bad.
19:56
Oh, really?
19:57
Yeah, from like a saving investment standpoint, you don't want your money in the bank.
20:00
You actually want it to be invested.
20:02
Oh.
20:03
I don't know if it's just because you're all like chip.
20:04
We've got no investments and also no money in the bank.
20:06
Not great.
20:07
Well, we don't have investments.
20:08
Oh, yes.
20:09
So we need to start to like figure that out.
20:11
And we should have done it five years ago.
20:13
We should have done it 10 years ago.
20:14
And we like, we're still, we're talking because we knew we were coming on this podcast
20:19
and we're like, we still stupidly.
20:22
And I know because you girls are so smart that we still feel overwhelmed by it and intimidated
20:26
by it because we don't know what we're doing.
20:28
I still feel like that.
20:29
And I've spent about 200 hours talking to look about it.
20:31
So obviously not doing my job.
20:34
No, but I mean, like I do think, I think there's so much in grand fear when it comes to money.
20:39
It's not just like, oh, I'm not investing.
20:41
It's, oh, I'm bad at spending.
20:42
Oh, I'm bad.
20:43
Like it's so.
20:44
And it's society telling you to cut back on spending.
20:46
Yeah.
20:47
It's like it's everywhere.
20:49
And I think I'm way more confident than I used to be.
20:51
Then I absolutely don't have a sorted.
20:53
And I do think there's merit like for Vic coming full time in the curve and taking a giant pay card.
20:58
It's like, she's fine at hard.
21:00
She's got 30.
21:01
What have you got in your account?
21:02
$30.42.
21:03
You know, and it's like, I think some people probably have this water perception that just because she knows what she's doing that she's like rolling in it.
21:09
Yeah, yeah, she's got great investments.
21:11
But like, I don't know.
21:12
We all have blowouts.
21:13
No one feel like you don't even feel that confident with it.
21:16
It's so interesting.
21:17
Like when we've spoken about.
21:19
So I was like, oh, no, but I don't know how to explain it.
21:22
Like I'll mention a stock or something.
21:23
So I was like, let's invest in it.
21:24
Let's invest in it.
21:25
I'm like, oh, no, but we should do that.
21:26
We should make sure that we've actually researched it.
21:28
And I'm like, oh, let's just wait.
21:30
Let's just wait.
21:31
Let's sleep on it.
21:32
You know, I'm just.
21:33
Yeah.
21:34
But that's how we do business as well.
21:35
So let's do this.
21:36
Let's do this.
21:37
It's amazing that she thinks so big picture and creatively.
21:39
And then I'm always the negative Nancy.
21:41
That's like, no, no, we can't do that.
21:43
No, no, we can't do that.
21:44
We can't go in jail.
21:45
You wouldn't do that.
21:47
I wanted to know when you were in that role of set home dead.
21:55
And I know that, sorry, you are still doing that amazing.
21:59
Do you battle any internal demons around what other people think of that or the idea
22:07
of not earning your own money as such?
22:09
Like, and I hope that doesn't sound offensive.
22:11
No, no, no.
22:12
Because I know that that's a whole lot of my friends who are set home mums feel there's this like inferiority.
22:17
And I'm just wondering how that feels and then how that relates to your dynamic.
22:20
No, no, we've definitely had those conversations.
22:22
I think I was in terms of the stereotype of being a stay at home dad that excited me.
22:28
I liked the idea of being like sort of not many people do it.
22:32
So I like the idea of being the dad that's in the, you know, the playgroups where it's all the mums and then just me.
22:37
And that was genuinely it for like a long time.
22:39
It was just me at all of these playgroups.
22:41
And I, I thrive in that and I like the idea of, I don't know, somebody seeing it and hoping to do it one day.
22:47
You know, so that's cool.
22:48
I love that you're trying to like change the narrative.
22:50
So good.
22:51
Yeah.
22:52
Oh, but I get teased from him being I'm just out to branch with Zoe.
22:55
Am I okay?
22:56
Yeah.
22:57
Oh, I'm just out.
22:58
I'm out to branch.
22:59
I'm just getting lunch with Bex.
23:00
Like he loves it.
23:01
Don't worry about that.
23:02
Yeah, yeah.
23:03
That's great.
23:04
But no, there's definitely been times where I felt guilty that I see Meg, you know, working so hard,
23:08
getting up so early, spending less time with Daisy than I am.
23:11
So I feel guilty like there's been times where I've wanted to bring something to the table.
23:15
And I have in drips and drabs like, you know, doing the odd social media posts are getting paid for that.
23:20
But there's never been a consistent income.
23:23
So that's something that I've been hoping to try and do more this year.
23:27
But no, I've definitely had the guilt that I'm not bringing anything in.
23:32
We've had conversations about it because it's actually like caused you to have like some like internal strife at times
23:39
because there is such a, especially on me and there is such an idea that what men bring to the household is money.
23:47
And like I supply to the household is money, provide is money.
23:52
And he kept using these words like providing and supplying.
23:55
And I'm not supplying for you.
23:56
I'm not providing for you.
23:57
And we had to have this big like change in mindset of like what you provide is the ability of me earning the money.
24:04
And that is in a way earning like earning us money because if I didn't have you, I couldn't do what I do.
24:09
You know, if I didn't have your intense support, if I didn't have you looking after the days of the way you do it.
24:14
We, if Daisy didn't have you, if you didn't look after the household, the way you do, there's no way I could do what I do.
24:21
Which means in a way you are, does that make sense?
24:24
Like he is earning the money because we're a team.
24:27
And just because I'm the person going and doing that job to me, it's a team work sort of effort because I couldn't do it without him.
24:33
I think it's also changing the narrative of what, what is work.
24:36
And what exactly, you're going to work and you're going to work just because one's paid doesn't mean it's not work.
24:41
Oh my gosh.
24:42
Or one's better than the other.
24:43
You know, it's like you're both working.
24:45
And sometimes when you're staying home with kids, it's even more work than actually going to paid work.
24:49
So I said, I don't know, it's just changing that narrative.
24:51
But it's probably going to take time because we've been so ingrained with, yeah, that to be providing.
24:57
Yeah.
24:58
You have to go out and earn an income.
25:00
And it's like, it's so.
25:01
It's so wrong.
25:03
And even the, the, the terminology we've been saying it's, hold on, stay at home dad.
25:07
It's not like, stay at home dad makes it sound like he is just staying at home.
25:10
Like your job is Daisy.
25:12
We've talked about that too.
25:13
Also, it's, what is I think really hard with being a stay at home parent?
25:17
You can obviously guide denial, like confirm with this is that there are no set hours.
25:22
So it's actually really, it's not like you, with us we wake up.
25:26
I do my hair and my makeup again, my car and my driveway.
25:28
And that's me starting work.
25:29
Whereas with guy, who knows when it's always on, it's always on, which means it's, it's never off either.
25:35
And that can be quite hard for the fact of like, sure, he doesn't need to ask his boss for holidays.
25:40
But he also doesn't get a holiday.
25:42
Yeah.
25:43
You know, at the end of Christmas, um, great, we make jokes with guys like, oh, let me just ask my boss if I can have that time off.
25:47
But really, like in the end, there is no time off to stay at home parents or parents that are at home looking after their children.
25:53
There isn't.
25:54
Yeah.
25:55
Because there is no break from your kid if you're around them 24-7.
25:59
And it's, yeah, it definitely, you're right.
26:02
When it comes to terminology of work, they are working.
26:04
It's just unpaid with money.
26:06
I've never been self conscious of the whole.
26:09
I'm the man in the relationship.
26:11
So I have to bring in the money.
26:12
I've never, that's never been me anyway.
26:14
Because like we said, I've, I've always been less than you.
26:16
And I've never had an issue with that.
26:17
I think it was just the fact that I was, I wasn't bringing in a consistent amount of money.
26:22
So if I was doing something like a part time job that I could do from home where I was bringing in, even if it was $100 a month,
26:28
I feel like that would have been a little win for me.
26:30
Because at least I'm doing something, but because I was, you know, this Instagram post would come in and march.
26:36
And then the next one wouldn't be able to come in until like August.
26:38
I think it was the inconsistency for me.
26:40
But I never, your job, like we, it's something we've had this track so many times over the past three years.
26:45
It's so many times of like, it isn't on you to have to do that.
26:49
But I know you still feel that pressure.
26:51
It's still now.
26:52
Less, less now, definitely less now.
26:54
I'm more, I'm more at peace with it now, but it just still come up, especially if when expenses come up,
26:59
and we sit there and we,
27:00
Oh my God, I'm always right to just come out live today.
27:01
We've had so many niggly expenses come through over the last six to 12 months,
27:05
because we had such a solid nistic.
27:07
Oh, yes.
27:08
We had a buffer.
27:09
We called it the buffer.
27:10
Yeah, we got a, we got, we made a $10,000 buffer.
27:12
That is like, I don't believe it.
27:14
So if that doesn't end, we would have been like any, we wouldn't even know what payday was at any point in time.
27:19
There was like $10,000, and then it all went.
27:22
A darker cancer, and then...
27:24
It's six grand surgery.
27:25
Yeah, it's a darker cancer.
27:26
And we obviously, that wasn't even not, we have pet insurance, but it was still...
27:30
It's a vegetarian, and it has like a doors animal.
27:33
It's like a huge part of her personality.
27:36
Very much.
27:37
And so that was, it wasn't, we didn't even discuss it.
27:39
It was happening.
27:40
There's my boss friend.
27:41
There's my boss friend.
27:42
I wouldn't even, yeah, my boss friend.
27:44
We don't have pet insurance to take off today, because it wouldn't be more.
27:48
There was a car crash, and then we, because we have...
27:52
Yeah, he broke all these little things.
27:54
Also, we have no village in Auckland.
27:56
We have no family here at all.
27:58
Which means that if I get sick, or if, sorry, if Guy gets sick,
28:02
and he can't look after days, I have to take time off work.
28:05
Or if I'm not here from work, and Guy gets sick or something happens, there's no one.
28:09
There's no one at all.
28:11
So a couple of times I've had to fly my mum up, or his parents are up.
28:15
There's no one listening that needs a part-time nanny injury.
28:18
Yeah, yeah.
28:19
Just don't get a good cushion like two or three.
28:21
Yeah, yeah.
28:22
So, yeah, all the...
28:23
We went in six months, and it was not from us spending...
28:27
We don't go out.
28:28
We didn't go close.
28:29
And that was, like, gut reaching, because we were so hard to get it.
28:34
And then we kept saying every time we had to spend it on a surgery,
28:37
or...
28:38
Now, it's also a dog.
28:40
God, how much she's cost us some past year.
28:42
She got attacked by another dog.
28:44
She got to go on a dogfight, but she didn't get fight.
28:46
She got attacked by a dog.
28:48
So she had to go to hospital for that.
28:50
And again, like, it's just all these things that we set,
28:53
and we kept saying, that's what the Nesegs were.
28:55
That's what it's for.
28:56
That's exactly what the Nesegs were.
28:57
And that was gone, yeah.
28:59
But also, it's going to be hard on you.
29:00
Because I think that if you didn't have that Neseg,
29:03
imagine the position of your right.
29:05
The stress it would have added, you know, I think...
29:08
Take yourselves on the back that you had that Neseg.
29:10
And had that foreseeable...
29:12
But then it's stressful, because then if you've used it,
29:14
you know life happens.
29:16
And things go wrong all the time.
29:18
And that's where we're at the moment.
29:20
Now I've got 200 of my emergency fund.
29:22
How amazing. Maybe I can pay if I break something,
29:24
which I do every five seconds.
29:26
You know, like, it's not very reassuring when you have to use it,
29:29
and then you don't have that back start.
29:31
Yeah, we have to...
29:32
We have to save.
29:34
We look at it out about 20 grand.
29:38
If we want another baby,
29:40
because we won't be getting paid for four to five months,
29:43
any income whatsoever, whatever,
29:45
and to pay for mortgage and all the insurances
29:47
and everything plus food.
29:48
And Nappy is in formula and everything that we'll need.
29:50
We thought, and to be safe, you know,
29:52
like with space, otherwise who knows?
29:54
Well, we'll have them once the dog gets it by another girl.
29:56
So we have to save 20 grand to try and have another baby.
29:59
And at the moment with 29 dollars in our account,
30:02
we feel very overwhelmed of like,
30:05
we just can't...
30:06
It's stopping our life.
30:07
Like, we can't justify it.
30:09
You can't...
30:10
Do you feel pressure being the only person earning income
30:15
from your job right now that it's...
30:18
There's a pressure that if something...
30:20
Oh, a pressure that you have to stay in work almost?
30:22
Or is it like...
30:23
Or you kind of opened having conversations of, hey, like...
30:27
No, yeah, there's definitely pressure.
30:29
It's like, there are so many emotions,
30:31
but there's actually a lot of pride as well.
30:33
To be able to do...
30:34
To be able to be like 33,
30:36
and to be able to like...
30:38
Do...
30:39
Have a job that I can do that.
30:41
My husband can stay home.
30:42
There's a lot of pride.
30:43
Like, I've worked really hard over 10 years
30:45
from university to get to this point
30:47
to be able to be in a position where I can do this.
30:49
So I hold a lot of pride with that
30:51
and also because, as we've talked about,
30:53
not many women do that part.
30:55
So that makes me really proud.
30:57
There is definitely pressure there.
30:59
I'm lucky I love my job.
31:00
Like, I love, love, love my job.
31:02
If I was really miserable,
31:04
that would be a different answer.
31:05
If I was not in a show that I was happy with,
31:07
if I hated the people I was working with,
31:09
if I was, yes, struggling to go to work every day
31:12
because the hours make it hard,
31:13
but the people make it easy.
31:14
But if you've got hard people to work with
31:16
and the hours are hard,
31:17
and you're the only one that can...
31:19
That would...
31:20
I would feel very stuck.
31:21
I'd feel very stuck.
31:22
And yeah, we would just both have to go back
31:25
to working on, have to find a different job,
31:27
I imagine, and would figure that out.
31:29
Yeah, quite like in that aspect.
31:31
I feel pressure in the way I can't lose my job.
31:35
Yes.
31:36
I don't want to leave my job.
31:37
But we're in a fickle industry, as you know, stove.
31:40
And things change.
31:41
Like, I can't say anything, but literally today
31:43
we had so many changes,
31:45
happened about half an hour ago.
31:46
Oh, really?
31:47
Oh, yeah, big changes that will all come out at some point.
31:49
And so it just...
31:50
You never see it coming,
31:51
and you're just like...
31:52
And it feels...
31:53
Oh, my God.
31:54
That's what I mean by the pressure.
31:55
You kind of...
31:56
I don't have the control.
31:57
I don't have the control.
31:58
I can only do my best, and I do my best,
32:00
as best as I can do every single day,
32:02
as well as being the best mother I can today,
32:04
and hopefully the best wife to you,
32:06
and best friend I can be,
32:07
all the best of whatever I can be.
32:10
But I have to just hope that I...
32:14
They keep me, basically,
32:16
because in other people's jobs,
32:17
I think you keep your job,
32:18
and they should get fired,
32:19
because you stuff up, right?
32:20
Yeah.
32:21
And this job, you can kind of be let go for anything.
32:23
That's horrible.
32:24
Yeah, yeah.
32:26
You guys seem like you have very open comms.
32:29
Very good.
32:30
Good relationship.
32:32
Yeah.
32:33
I can see that way.
32:34
I can see that way.
32:35
No, yeah, yeah.
32:36
You learned that.
32:37
I was 21, all right?
32:39
You didn't go, were you?
32:40
No, I didn't.
32:41
Yeah.
32:42
We might take it easy.
32:43
It's really...
32:44
Do you remember the first time you ever talked about money,
32:47
in your relationship, like,
32:49
when you started a joint account,
32:51
or when you...
32:52
Anything like that?
32:53
What about dates, even?
32:54
Yeah.
32:55
You were in April this day.
32:56
How did that work?
32:57
Oh, Meg...
32:58
Meg splashed out on me.
32:59
Like, she would...
33:00
Like, she would spend way more...
33:01
I mean, I had no money.
33:02
I was on like $32,000 a year,
33:04
and my rent was $3,000 a year.
33:05
I would drop like grocery software as house,
33:07
like a little loser,
33:08
before you've been dating.
33:09
Here's like, oh, I've only got a week...
33:10
a week back for dinner.
33:11
I'd like to drive all the way out of the bag.
33:13
And it wasn't even all much running myself.
33:15
We were talking about...
33:16
By that point, I would have been on $47,500,000.
33:19
So, like, that was my groceries.
33:21
I was so whipped by him.
33:24
But we've been, like, a lot...
33:25
Meanwhile...
33:26
He's actually not eating whipped cream.
33:27
You're eating steak.
33:28
And he's like, oh, hell.
33:29
Yeah.
33:30
We've been, like, lots of points that...
33:32
Well, I hope you don't mind.
33:33
Me saying, but at one point,
33:34
you were in between jobs,
33:35
and you were let go from one job.
33:38
Yes.
33:39
And you didn't have another job to go to.
33:40
Yeah.
33:41
And so, that's when we were...
33:42
Gosh, what were we got?
33:43
Like, 23...
33:45
I think it was a year.
33:46
Or...
33:47
Because you guys were so young.
33:48
Like, even having those conversations
33:49
about joint accounts,
33:50
or spending on each other,
33:52
it's like, you're still so young.
33:54
And I think that was our first big, like,
33:55
that was...
33:56
I started...
33:57
I supported you.
33:58
I paid for your rent for three months.
33:59
No, we were living together.
34:00
We were living together.
34:01
But I paid for your share of rent for three months
34:03
until you got another job.
34:04
And that was our first big, proper, like, wow, we're...
34:07
I'm pretty sure at that point
34:08
we'd already had joint accounts.
34:10
Really?
34:11
Yeah, I'm pretty sure we had a joint bank account.
34:12
I must have wanted us to put our money together.
34:14
Oh, yeah.
34:15
Like, Meg, Meg, in our relationship,
34:16
Meg is the one that pushes for something
34:18
and I'm the one that's resistant.
34:19
And then as soon as I sort of cave...
34:22
I freaked out.
34:23
And I was...
34:24
Meg freaks out.
34:25
And I get excited about it.
34:26
Yeah.
34:27
So she starts freaking out.
34:28
I'm like, what are you talking about?
34:29
You just convinced me.
34:30
When I convinced him to date me,
34:31
officially, and I did have to convince him.
34:32
I convinced him to date me.
34:34
And I was like, we have to...
34:35
We have to be more free to go free
34:36
and we're best friends.
34:37
We say together, it's good.
34:38
Great.
34:39
And...
34:40
I have no money than you.
34:41
I don't know.
34:42
And then he finally was like,
34:43
I guess it sounds alright.
34:44
And...
34:45
I'm so sorry.
34:46
You were not very enthusiastic
34:48
that you'd been talked into it.
34:50
Let's keep an eye on your toes.
34:51
I mean, I mean, I literally within half an hour
34:53
said, what have I done?
34:54
I don't want a boyfriend.
34:55
I've just moved to Auckland.
34:56
I'm hot little thing.
34:57
I don't...
34:58
I'm like 23 years old.
34:59
For once then, she's like, I changed my mind.
35:00
I actually don't know.
35:01
I mean, guy, I was like instantly like, this is great.
35:03
I was joking.
35:04
I'm no more weaving for dinner.
35:05
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:06
I'm going to eat by...
35:07
I actually remember when you were cooking for...
35:09
I bet you were.
35:10
Oh god, yeah.
35:11
Oh my god, yeah.
35:12
Cause like, back in the day,
35:13
you were cooked like...
35:14
It's tiny often.
35:15
You literally wasn't cooking for yourself.
35:17
No, no.
35:18
What I was cooking for myself was just terrible.
35:20
Like, it was...
35:21
Yeah, just playing pasta with my...
35:22
You've got to be better.
35:23
Yeah, you've got to be better.
35:24
There was like a lot of love going into food from the side.
35:26
Yeah, she fed me up.
35:27
Yeah, she fed me up.
35:28
I did.
35:29
I did.
35:30
But yeah, there's been the whole time like,
35:31
we should buy a house.
35:32
We should buy a house.
35:33
And then we bought a house.
35:34
I was like, let's sell it.
35:35
Yeah, let's sell it.
35:36
Yeah, let's sell it to the house.
35:37
Like, what do we do?
35:38
What do we do?
35:39
What do we do?
35:40
So, and then how do you put your finances now?
35:41
All into bank account.
35:42
And then...
35:43
Or did you just spend willingly?
35:44
Like, what's the...
35:45
Just a pasta spend?
35:46
Like, how do you do that?
35:47
Yeah.
35:48
Is it...
35:49
Well, it's easy.
35:50
My answer's easy.
35:51
I don't earn anything, so nothing goes in.
35:52
Yeah.
35:53
But even if, like, before that,
35:54
I've always been the budgeter.
35:55
I get...
35:56
I quite like being the budgeter.
35:57
Yeah.
35:58
I quite like, like,
35:59
I get off on, like, saving money.
36:01
And I get a little, like, rush from...
36:03
Oh, we could save this much here and here and here.
36:05
Yeah.
36:06
Do you get allocated amount, though?
36:08
Yes.
36:09
We started that last year.
36:10
Yeah.
36:11
Yeah.
36:12
I made, like, so many different accounts that I'd be like,
36:14
right, that accounts, the third account, that accounts,
36:16
the late date night account, that accounts,
36:18
all of these accounts, and then ended up,
36:20
because we didn't have enough money to do all the savings I wanted to do,
36:24
we'd tap into them every time, so it just wouldn't work that way.
36:27
So now we have all the money goes into one account,
36:29
and, um, guide takes the mortgage out.
36:32
I do all the bills, and then some money goes to Daisy,
36:36
since the day she was born, she's had money going into a certain account.
36:38
That should really be an investment, shouldn't it?
36:40
Yeah.
36:41
It's just a savings.
36:42
It will talk back.
36:43
It will talk back off like that.
36:44
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:45
It's literally just the same.
36:46
And we've got another account for, like,
36:47
baby number two, that's just sitting there.
36:49
Um, and then we've got a date night account.
36:51
We get $50 a four night into that,
36:53
and then we get $50 a four night spending money.
36:56
On our own little card.
36:57
Little Spock and a little Josh card.
36:59
So it goes into a Josh account, and we get $50 a four night to spend
37:02
on whatever we like.
37:03
Is this, like, date night?
37:04
Like, would you be spending that if you went out for dinner tonight?
37:06
No, no.
37:07
We're going to spend the date night account as well.
37:08
Date night to us is really important.
37:10
And we're, we do one indoor date night and one outdoor date night a month,
37:13
which it's just been so amazing for us.
37:17
So indoor date night is where the other person,
37:19
you don't need the house, but the other person has to theme the night
37:22
or plan the night together.
37:24
She's board's board games or guy.
37:26
I didn't.
37:27
He set up a surprise talist with quiz for me last date night.
37:31
So it was like, he was 10 rounds.
37:33
It was all that, and he had to ask,
37:35
I had to answer questions about my friend's favourite talist of songs.
37:38
It was amazing.
37:39
There's sorry, the perks of dinner creative.
37:41
Yeah, it's like, you're going to do a date night, like,
37:43
please watch the game's ball, do you?
37:45
Yeah.
37:46
Yeah, I threw a guy in office Christmas party,
37:48
because set home parents' drug at the end of your Christmas party.
37:51
It's too much.
37:52
Oh my god, I'm just loving this.
37:53
It's relaxing show.
37:54
I'm so sorry for it.
37:55
I'm so sorry for it.
37:56
I'm so sorry for it.
37:57
You said you guys put into each other to make each other feel special.
38:00
It's just like...
38:02
Main priority is making sure the other person is having the best life, basically.
38:05
Yeah.
38:06
But with, yeah, with money, so we put $50.
38:10
That's money, at least I can get you.
38:12
No, it's just like beautiful.
38:14
It is beautiful.
38:15
Yeah.
38:16
We're very lucky.
38:17
We're very lucky.
38:18
So, yeah, $50.49 into date night.
38:21
But other than that, it's just lump sum into the account.
38:24
And I am very bad.
38:26
And Guy knows it, but bless his soul, he never hits me up about it.
38:29
I'd be like, right, that's it.
38:31
No, it must be neat for the rest of the pay.
38:33
Guess who's pens next.
38:34
It's always me.
38:35
I always get something.
38:36
It's normally something for like...
38:37
Sushi.
38:38
Sushi for days.
38:39
I make it.
38:40
I'm sushi.
38:41
No, no, no, hang on.
38:42
Did you say Daisy loves sushi?
38:43
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
38:44
Daisy loves that.
38:45
Why don't you give it a go?
38:46
Why don't you give it a go?
38:47
Six pieces for me.
38:48
Daisy gets like little tiny pieces of tuna.
38:50
Yeah.
38:51
Don't worry.
38:52
Yeah.
38:53
But I try to budget calendar online.
38:56
Like a budget wheel thing online for a while.
38:58
That worked really well for us.
38:59
It was just, it was quite...
39:00
Just showed us where we were.
39:01
You didn't see where the money was going.
39:02
Mostly top up shops shopping.
39:04
Food wise grocery shops.
39:05
Like instead of just...
39:07
Now I do all my shopping.
39:09
I pack and save.
39:10
And I write out my whole...
39:11
All the meals for the entire week for everybody.
39:13
Out online.
39:14
And then I write down the ingredients.
39:15
And I get it online.
39:16
And I sit to a budget.
39:17
Whereas when we do top up shops, you can easily spend 65 here.
39:21
And 75 there.
39:22
And then it's just one dinner.
39:23
But you pick up that and that at the same time.
39:25
And that's where our money was going.
39:27
And that's...
39:28
I think that is definitely one of the biggest things that is depleting our bank account.
39:31
And you sit there and go, why don't you just, you know,
39:33
do more planning when it comes to the shops.
39:35
But I think it is genuinely because of having a kid.
39:37
You have to go do these top up shops.
39:39
Dog and...
39:40
Yeah.
39:41
Cat food and dog food.
39:42
And then Daisy loves to just like eat fruit.
39:44
But then she'll only eat half of it.
39:45
So I'm like, we're going to get more bananas.
39:47
And then more eggs and more brains.
39:48
I think it's stations on certain items.
39:50
So she wants like a yoga that is also on it.
39:52
And then you...
39:53
Just like...
39:54
I say just something.
39:55
What's else?
39:56
Alza.
39:57
Alza.
39:58
Oh my god, sorry.
39:59
Oh, don't look at me.
40:00
Oh, okay, well that was a lot of...
40:01
You're already finished.
40:02
I know, definitely not.
40:03
So she'll love Alza.
40:04
And then I swear any parent will be able to relate to this.
40:06
And then we're like, here's your Alza.
40:07
And she's all of a sudden like, no, I want the cars one.
40:09
And it's like, I know you...
40:11
And we do it.
40:12
We just give the Alza one.
40:13
It's all she can do.
40:14
But it's like, one, you also want to give your kid whatever you want.
40:17
Two, you just want to avoid the tantrums.
40:20
There are some things that you just like you just want to.
40:22
And it's $1.89 to get another yoga voucher.
40:24
So like...
40:25
So the fact that you even know that...
40:27
I don't know.
40:28
But then there'll be a yoga voucher.
40:29
And we'll go in.
40:30
We're going to get like one or two.
40:31
And then we'll be like, oh, it's four for five.
40:33
Let's get 20 of them.
40:34
Where's that just for that?
40:36
Well, I am.
40:37
But it's so good that you do plan or that you have a budget
40:39
so you can see, okay, this was where we were spending the most
40:42
about money.
40:43
Because you probably wouldn't even know that otherwise.
40:45
If you don't monitor it, you're not seeing what you're spending
40:47
the most of your money on or where you could cut back.
40:50
And so we really need to do it again now.
40:51
This is why budgets...
40:52
These people are like, oh.
40:53
Checking out the outgoing as well.
40:55
Just like car payments and insurances.
40:58
Yeah.
40:59
I hate being in it all.
41:00
I know.
41:01
I'm just like, mom.
41:02
Because then you...
41:03
You've got to have paid like, you know, we can't not have pet insurance.
41:05
I mean, we've shown it in the past year.
41:06
It's been as much as we've got pet insurance.
41:08
And then like, thank you.
41:09
Help insurance with the kid.
41:10
And like, we said that we were like, we've got to cut out
41:13
some of these insurances.
41:14
A different kind of life insurance didn't we?
41:15
I don't think I ever did it.
41:16
Oh, thank God.
41:17
Because then you said that you're like, well, you've got a kid.
41:19
You need life insurance.
41:20
Yeah.
41:21
It's just all these things that you're like, we'd really want to cut them out
41:24
and not have them.
41:25
And they are a privilege these days.
41:27
They are with the cost of living and having insurance is a privilege.
41:30
Yeah.
41:31
And that's so sad.
41:32
Yeah.
41:33
I heard a lot of people that when things were getting tough,
41:35
they cut their car insurance.
41:37
Yeah.
41:38
Well, behind on their home insurance payments.
41:41
And then we had those floods.
41:42
Oh.
41:43
And it was just like, yeah.
41:45
It's kind of, you just feel for having also having to make that decision
41:50
and then being able to just like, can't even think about it.
41:53
Yeah.
41:54
Do you ever have disagreements about the way to spend money
41:58
whether it comes to each other or Daisy or anything?
42:02
How do you make those decisions?
42:03
And is it like a consulting each other thing?
42:05
I don't think we've really had any, like, why don't we ever argue about it?
42:09
And I don't think it's too hard.
42:10
I think if something was to come through, like, if I've,
42:13
if myself or Meg has done a paid post through Instagram,
42:17
and we know X amount is less than $1,000 is coming in.
42:20
We'll know that's coming in in a couple of weeks.
42:22
And then we go, where should we allocate that?
42:24
And I think usually that, I don't really think there's been a time
42:27
where we've just got, yes, that's going to go to Bay
42:29
because there's only been communications there.
42:31
There's communication.
42:32
And I think there's ever any disagreements.
42:34
Yeah.
42:35
I'm trying to think of the things that the differences in us,
42:37
and I like to save that money towards something else.
42:41
And you kind of, at the moment, would rather put it in a buffer.
42:44
Yeah.
42:45
So that we're not in a position right now of making ends meet,
42:47
which is the smarter thing to do, which is what we're doing.
42:49
Because I know that the buffer thing really stresses you out.
42:51
So in my head, any money that comes in, we fill the buffer up,
42:53
then you're less stressed.
42:54
But then I know that if we were to, over the next six months,
42:57
fill that buffer back up to 10 grand, which would be great.
42:59
You would then start looking at another savings account,
43:02
be like, that's had both.
43:03
I've got a never ending list in my head.
43:05
Never ending list.
43:06
There's always a list in my head.
43:08
And that's why Guy needs to come up to bring me down to level sometimes
43:11
because we'll get something paid off.
43:13
And I don't think I even give it five minutes before I'm like,
43:16
so the next thing that we're saving for all,
43:19
like trying to get or trying to do.
43:21
But that's good having goals, I think,
43:23
even if they're short-term, long-term, whatever.
43:25
Like I think, you know, it helps keep you motivated and keeps you almost like,
43:30
yeah, I'm making progress and like, yeah.
43:32
That's, I say, that's like digging in,
43:34
you kind of pull me back a bit.
43:36
If you, if I didn't pull you forward, you would have moved.
43:38
Yeah, yeah.
43:39
But if it hit his way, I think it's the same with us actually.
43:41
Yeah.
43:42
Yeah.
43:43
Yeah.
43:44
Like you do need a bit of polarity in terms of like,
43:45
no, we can spend the money in someone being like,
43:46
no, we've got to be careful.
43:47
Yeah.
43:48
You know, it's like if someone's trying,
43:49
you're not going to burst into tears as well.
43:50
It's like, oh God, how can I help?
43:51
You know?
43:52
It's like, do you know what I mean?
43:54
No, it's like, you kind of naturally just take the like opposite
43:58
to help the other person through their stress.
44:00
Do you look at your upbringing's childhood relationship with money
44:04
or family's relationship with money
44:06
and look at the way that you are now
44:08
and sort of see our interest in that I behave like that.
44:11
I, my dad did the same thing.
44:13
Or my mum.
44:14
Yeah.
44:15
Is there anything that you've noticed?
44:16
I think that this is made me sound like a sport kid
44:18
because we didn't grow up in an incredibly rich home
44:20
but there were times where I would ask my mum and dad
44:22
for something and they would say no.
44:24
And I'd ask you and say no.
44:26
And then most of the time they would get it for me.
44:29
And that's amazing.
44:30
And like my, my mum's been a stay-at-home mum basically
44:33
or my life and my dad's provided for us and stuff.
44:36
And I wonder if that's kind of ruined me
44:38
because there's always a little voice in my head
44:40
that when it comes to us making our money
44:42
and our savings account, my brain goes,
44:44
it'll be right.
44:45
It'll be fine.
44:46
It'll be fine.
44:47
It'll be fine.
44:48
I don't care.
44:49
It'll always work out.
44:50
And that's a great, be positive,
44:51
but sometimes I'm very privileged to be on this side.
44:54
Yeah.
44:55
So like I didn't grow up in a mansion or anything like that.
44:57
But I do wonder if, I don't know if I'm not blaming my parents
45:00
but my parents actually just said no.
45:02
Maybe I would sit there and go, not everything works out.
45:05
Whereas I think I am a little different than that.
45:07
I was very lucky to, my, I have a upbringing where we're in a,
45:10
I would say medium in, you know,
45:13
in the middle of the road, sort of income household
45:15
with my mum and dad, my brother,
45:17
but their mum and dad divorced and I went with mum
45:19
and then we were on low weight,
45:21
like proper bottom, bottom, bottom, like wages.
45:24
And that's when everything turned into creative ways
45:28
of how we would get it.
45:29
So mum couldn't afford the clothes for me,
45:31
she would sew them, that would look very similar to that.
45:34
And so I think that's, I've definitely got that sort of mindset
45:37
where I will be like, how can I give that to Daisy or Guy,
45:42
but not actually spend what would normally be spent on it?
45:46
Which is such a good mindset to have.
45:48
Both of them.
45:49
I also think yours in terms of like knowing that it will just work out.
45:53
The flow of letting you come in and out.
45:55
And having that mindset of like, don't worry,
45:58
it'll work out rather than being like, oh my gosh.
46:00
We're never going to be able to afford it.
46:02
You know, and you kind of get into that spiral
46:03
and then you start creating that energy.
46:05
I think it's like putting it out there that it's like,
46:07
it's okay, it'll work out.
46:09
We're fine.
46:10
You know, I like that kind of.
46:11
Yeah.
46:12
It's very good for me because I can definitely get into
46:14
the spiral of like, we're fucked.
46:17
Yeah, basically.
46:18
Yeah.
46:19
But also interesting though,
46:20
because you're the one that is brilliant.
46:21
And come in, so I wonder if it's also your like,
46:24
the pressure.
46:25
Yeah.
46:26
Yeah.
46:27
Yeah.
46:28
Yeah.
46:29
But I mean, you definitely are not the kind of couple
46:31
who you would be like, oh well,
46:33
of course you're going to be chilled about it because you're not, you know,
46:35
and it's issues, right?
46:36
Yeah.
46:37
Because it's like you genuinely want your routine.
46:40
And it's like decisions made together.
46:42
I would love to end on one last question or conversation.
46:46
And it's kind of for you actually, guy.
46:48
Yeah.
46:49
Actually, maybe you can both answer this in different ways.
46:51
What I think is interesting is if you're a stay-at-home mum,
46:55
you feel, well, this is what we've heard a lot.
46:58
I'm not sure if every so mum feel like this.
47:01
But there is this like invisible load.
47:05
I have to always be working like my responsibility is the house,
47:08
the washing the kids, everything.
47:11
And then on the flip side,
47:13
the husband, if you're in a heterosexual relationship,
47:16
is the provider and bring your home money and you are both experiencing
47:19
the complete opposite.
47:20
And yet I would say both sides have the psych feeling of guilt,
47:24
like, oh, I'm not earning money or oh, I'm not spending time with my care.
47:28
Or it's just really interesting seeing the gender roles switch.
47:32
Is there any, I don't know, advice or thoughts that you might have for couples
47:35
who might be never getting it or struggling with their current dynamic?
47:38
I think if there's a guy out there that is contemplating the idea of it,
47:43
if you've had a discussion with your partner of the idea that they want to work
47:47
and you've run the numbers, basically what myself and Meg have done,
47:51
I would say dive into it just headfirst because it is an amazing experience.
47:55
The last two years with Daisy have been amazing.
47:57
And it's cool that I get to say that I've done that.
48:00
So yeah, absolutely go straight into it is what I would say.
48:04
But at the same time, it is a hard decision to move away from your career.
48:09
And yeah, there is that inner voice that's telling you that you should be working
48:13
and you should be bringing home the bacon and stuff like that.
48:16
When you spiral down that,
48:18
I think, oh, I should get back to work or I've given up my career or I've sacrificed
48:21
because no doubt most of the time it's not.
48:24
But there would be moments where you're like, shit, shit, shit.
48:26
How do you bring yourself out of that?
48:29
Because we're young with 30 years of potentially working.
48:33
Because I know there's a lot of mums that stop working and then they're like,
48:36
how am I going to get back into work?
48:38
Like it's quite a daunting, scary thing.
48:40
Do you feel that?
48:41
And if so, how do you try to not lean into the anxiety of it?
48:44
Yeah, I don't get too worried too much about like,
48:47
I mean, if worst case scenario, like me glossed her job,
48:50
well, there was a time where I had to get into work.
48:52
I do think about that a little bit because I don't know what it would be.
48:56
In my head, it's either getting back into radio,
48:58
which can be quite hard to get back into once you leave or go back to burger fuel.
49:02
And that's what I did as a part time job in my head.
49:05
Those are the only two things that I know how to do.
49:08
But because that opportunity, well, that scenario hasn't presented itself.
49:13
I haven't forced myself to think what else could I do?
49:16
Whereas.
49:17
So it's not, that pressure's not on me yet.
49:19
I've been putting that pressure on you a bit.
49:21
Yeah.
49:22
Because I want guy, if he can, to use this opportunity to be like,
49:25
maybe I do want a different career.
49:27
Maybe I do want to learn something new.
49:29
Yeah.
49:30
The thing is that guy just did,
49:31
all he can do is radio or burger fuel,
49:33
which is so encouraged that you were capable of a million different things
49:37
and opportunities and the fact that you could like reinvent yourself.
49:40
If you wanted to, you are capable to do that.
49:43
I think if any, which is probably sounding really privileged,
49:48
but if there is a situation where both of you can try to stay at home,
49:52
but even for a month where one of you takes a month of,
49:56
of maternity cover, paternity cover,
49:58
we have done so well because we've both done it.
50:01
I did four months of maternity leave.
50:03
I know how fucking hard it is.
50:05
I know that it is work for guy.
50:07
I know how exhausting it is.
50:09
I know all the ins and outs.
50:11
Guy went back to work for four months while I was at home with Daisy.
50:14
He knows how hard it is to go to work.
50:16
And then you come home and suddenly you don't get downtime.
50:18
You come home and you're like,
50:20
oh, the baby's passed you.
50:21
The toddler's passed you.
50:22
And because they are so exhausted.
50:24
And so you're like, well, I just got home from work.
50:26
Yeah.
50:27
Like, I just got home from work.
50:28
You think I've had time off and now you're just passing me the kid.
50:31
So because we're both experienced it,
50:33
we both very much so understand each other's position.
50:36
So we're quite lucky in that.
50:39
Yeah, we're lucky because our situation has always been unique
50:42
in the sense that before having a kid,
50:43
we both worked the same hours.
50:45
And you know how it is to get up a frame.
50:47
I know it is incredibly hard.
50:49
So we always do talk about how lucky we are.
50:51
Like, it'll be two o'clock in the afternoon on Thursday.
50:53
And we'll be at the zoo.
50:54
Like, and that's like,
50:56
we'll never take that for granted.
50:58
But at the same time,
50:59
you have been up since four and you have to be on the whole time
51:02
when you're at your job.
51:03
And outside the job.
51:05
And outside the job as well.
51:06
And honestly, I've done breakfast hours.
51:08
And you feel kind of like you're jet lagged in the afternoon.
51:11
And it's not as though you're like,
51:12
oh, cool.
51:13
I've got the whole minute.
51:14
I was like, no, I'm not on the beach.
51:15
Like, it's not.
51:16
You feel pretty awful all the time.
51:17
Yeah.
51:18
Like, knowing that guy has pros that I don't get to experience.
51:21
But you also have cons that I don't get to experience.
51:23
And it's the same with me.
51:24
I get to go and hang out with people every day
51:26
and get out of the house and be a human and adult.
51:29
But I also.
51:30
You're so.
51:31
Yeah.
51:32
Yeah.
51:33
That's the biggest surprise that I took from it.
51:37
Is that I didn't realize how little I would be talking with adults.
51:41
Yeah.
51:42
Like, it would be, I'd wake up and I'd see my daughter and she'd giggle
51:44
and I talk to her and then I'd be messaging you
51:47
and then you'd come home and I'd talk to you.
51:48
And there'll be times where I just didn't leave the house at all.
51:51
And then my social battery starts to get depleted.
51:53
So then we started talking about me going out playing golf
51:57
and stuff like that, which is fantastic.
51:59
And it charges my social battery.
52:01
And then I don't want to do too much of that,
52:04
because then Meg's looking after Daisy.
52:06
She's just finished work.
52:07
And I come home and I take over so that he can get the energy he needs.
52:11
But I'm like, I've been honest before.
52:13
It's tough.
52:14
So we're just never getting consistently.
52:16
Yeah.
52:17
I feel like we all have never gotten it.
52:18
Yeah.
52:19
I'm never getting life.
52:20
I feel like I'm just such a wild baby.
52:22
It's not a lot going on for me.
52:24
I need to not complain really.
52:26
You think about the complexity.
52:27
Oh, totally.
52:28
I'm married.
52:29
And I think I'm more good.
52:30
And I'm like, Harry, I'm like, I just can't get up.
52:32
And I'm editing.
52:33
I'm editing.
52:34
You hold yourself, mate.
52:35
Yeah.
52:36
It's like, when you're like, oh god,
52:38
if it's such a bad night's sleep, I only got six hours.
52:40
Yeah.
52:41
And all the mums and dads are like, shut up.
52:43
Yeah.
52:44
I'm gonna say.
52:45
I get that feeling.
52:46
Also, it's all the thing is six hours sucks.
52:48
You know, it's like a six-per-any-one.
52:50
Yeah.
52:51
Yeah.
52:52
It's yeah.
52:53
And also, we are the luckiest people we know.
52:55
Absolutely.
52:56
Yeah.
52:57
Yeah.
52:58
Yeah.
52:59
Yeah.
53:00
Yeah.
53:01
Yeah.
53:02
Yeah.
53:03
Yeah.
53:04
Yeah.
53:05
Yeah.
53:06
Yeah.
53:07
Yeah.
53:08
Yeah.
53:09
Yeah.
53:10
Yeah.
53:11
Yeah.
53:12
Yeah.
53:13
Yeah.
53:14
Yeah.
53:15
Yeah.
53:16
Yeah.
53:17
Yeah.
53:18
Yeah.
53:19
Yeah.
53:20
Yeah.
53:21
Yeah.
53:22
Yeah.
53:23
Yeah.
53:24
Yeah.
53:25
Yeah.
53:26
Yeah.
53:27
Thanks, so much.
53:28
I'm very exhausted, but then you know turn around and be a
53:30
there's a two o'clock on Tuesday.
53:31
Yeah.
53:32
I've seen you're a good girl.
53:33
My husband and my baby.
53:34
Like, like, shut up.
53:35
We are so lucky.
53:36
We wanted this.
53:37
Yeah.
53:38
Yeah.
53:39
Yeah.
53:40
Yeah, we wanted her.
53:41
Yeah.
53:42
Yeah.
53:43
So.
53:50
Thank you.
53:53
Lesson to so I feel like I know thank you so much has been yeah, fun
54:02
Yeah, it's been well it's been well it's been wild everything's
54:13
So wild the stock's gone up I'm like you've got to stop it's been great
54:19
Thank you so much for listening to Raising the Curve
54:22
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54:25
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54:30
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54:34
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