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Every Man Owes DraftKings $5000 · Not Right Now

• 0:00
  By the way, no one's ever asked me to have an orgasm for science, and if anything- That's terrible... it's like the opposite. You know, they take... It's like the pain machine- It's the opposite... in Midsommar.
• 0:08
  They take orgasms off your list. [upbeat music] Welcome to Not Right Now, the podcast about parenting through all of this.
• 0:21
  We'll be talking about/crashing out over topics like screen time and vaccines. Banned books, and maybe just stop leaving your books on the car floor, damn it.
• 0:31
  Climate change and five-minute shower timers no one uses, and also turning off the lights. And apparently the end of sex ed, and maybe sex. And is sex woke? I don't know. It's not an advice show.
• 0:42
  It's a you're not alone, and you're also not crazy for screaming in the shower kinda show. I'm Claire Zulkey from Evil Witches. And I'm Quinn Emmett from Important Not Important.
• 0:52
  You can find details on anything we talk about in the show notes or at our website, notrightnow.show..show.
• 0:59
  And if you like what you hear today, please share it with a parent who needs it or who might laugh and tell their kids to be quiet. And then drop us a nice little five-star review.
• 1:08
  And reminder, you can send questions or feedback to questions@notrightnow.show. [upbeat music] How's your bracket? It's a great question.
• 1:25
  I don't know. I did a terrible job of sharing and promoting these things this year. Usually I do a much better job. I haven't even looked at it. I made them for my kids.
• 1:33
  They're gonna be mad 'cause they, it's not gonna be what they wanted. I don't fucking care. Let's look live. How's yours? You know, I have two.
• 1:41
  By accident I have the online one that I did with you, and a slightly different, probably the printed out one. Busted, UNC, obviously. Mm-hmm. I love, honestly, when like a f- you know, a top seed goes down early.
• 1:54
  It is pretty fun. Mm-hmm. So Wisconsin, all my Wisconsin friends were really mad about wherever High Point is. I presume it's in Colorado. Where would High Point be? Sure. Yeah. Somewhere up where, at a mountain.
• 2:04
  I was really... The only thing I got to see yesterday was a brief period where Siena was still leading Duke, and then Duke took over- Ugh... and I was so fucking mad.
• 2:11
  I knew it was inevitable, but God, the whole country could've been united. Claire? Yeah. Yeah, I know. I did not... We... I hate Duke because they didn't let me in.
• 2:19
  I wouldn't have gone to school there probably anyway, but I still hate them. Yeah, I go on vibes a lot. Let's see. SLU. I picked SLU 'cause my friend works there. You know, I favor Big 10 teams just- Yeah...
• 2:30
  'cause I always like Gonzaga, 'cause I feel like Gonzaga only exists in the Big 10, I mean, in the NCAA tournament, but not for anything else. And any school with a D in the name, I tend to be favorable towards.
• 2:42
  Um- I feel like when we were younger, Gonzaga was like the Cinderella team, and now it's expected. Yeah. Yeah. There were so many- I'm still holding to that.
• 2:49
  There's so many vi- like just weird vibes, like where I'll be like, "Well, my college ex-boyfriend's family all rooted for Kansas, and I... And it would be dumb to vote to pick Kansas to go out early.
• 2:59
  But based on my wishes, I want them to go out-" No... "you know, like in this round, so we can really get their heart broken," and... But- Right...
• 3:07
  I have, uh, I have UConn going all the way, 'cause I saw an article that was like... Or maybe I heard it on NPR. It was like- Yeah... "UConn is the team," and I'm like, "All right. I'm for UConn." I wanna be specific.
• 3:15
  Are we talking about our men's or women's brackets, Claire? I didn't do women's. You are such a fucking monster. This is the whole thing. God damn it. It's not real. No one cares. I'm just kidding. I...
• 3:32
  But everyone watches women's sports. I have seven different variations. I got Charlotte. Everybody watches women's volleyball. Come on. Okay.
• 3:40
  Well, you know, with all these men playing women's sports, like it's just been ruined, so I kind of didn't- Oh God, Jesus Christ. You're the worst.
• 3:46
  Anyways, well, I have Arizona going all the way in the men's for some inexplicable reason. Really? For some reason. And women, I've got North Carolina winning it. Okay. I don't know. I, this is gonna muddy the waters.
• 3:57
  We literally have 12, at least 12 brackets floating around the house, 'cause the boys will do more than one. And, you know, C printed up a couple, but he didn't print them up right. So- Sure... you know.
• 4:09
  And then this morning, I need to get Paul to give me props, 'cause I saved James' life, 'cause James came down and he was going to update Paul's for him.
• 4:18
  And I was like, "If you value your life, I would not touch Paul's bracket if I were you," and- Yeah... and he listened. But, you know, n- it starts off fun, and then all of a sudden your...
• 4:29
  James can't sleep, 'cause he needs to know how Michigan did. And then I'm sitting next to Paul and while he's doing his homework, refreshing his ESPN bracket. By the way, his teacher started a bracket.
• 4:40
  This is like an annual thing. I don't know why. So fascinating. This is where I wanna get into things a little bit. Got it. Anyway. No, yeah. First of all, this is like boner city for him, right?
• 4:50
  'Cause it is like gambling. I don't believe he's put money into it, but like i- it is such a big boy thing to do, to make these kind of predictions, and to have this kind of clout, you know? And he...
• 5:01
  And it is more gamified now.
• 5:03
  I don't know if it's on ESPN, but whatever app he's on, if you refresh it and you win a game, there's like some animation where all these, I don't know, we don't know what it is, basketballs or chips all cascade down.
• 5:12
  But he, yesterday he said, "Can I go to my friend's house?" And I said, "You have homework," and he said, "No." And I said, "Let's open up your Google Classroom and take a look." Guess what?
• 5:22
  He had an hour of homework to do. Who? He didn't know that. How dare you? Ooh. How could he have possibly kept track of that? Yeah.
• 5:29
  And then I sat next to him on the couch, and glad I did, and like to make sure he s- stayed on task, because he... I saw him like navigating over to his ESPN tab, tab and refreshing it. And that's very normal and human.
• 5:43
  We all do that, except there are no games going on at that time. So I was like, "What the hell are you... What do you think is gonna happen?" Mm-hmm. I'm glad.
• 5:50
  And like without them, I'd be like, "I wish every day was March Madness," and I'm like, "Thank God they, they take days off so we can just move on from this." But yes, go ahead.
• 5:58
  What was your thesis, or what's your- No, I don't think... There's no thesis besides like this thing used... It... Look, was it always innocent? No, of course not.
• 6:06
  When I was at ESPN, we would spend months getting ready for this, because
• 6:11
  at that time, which was a thousand years ago, before phonesWith screens between Sunday when the brackets would be filled and Thursday tip-off at whatever it is, 1:00 Eastern, what it used to be.
• 6:23
  Now of course there's games on Sunday, whatever the amount of visitors we would have to the game back... You know, again, this is before Reddit.
• 6:31
  This is befo- It was one of the top five sites in the world for four days, and the money on the line w- was crazy. So again, never been innocent. For most people it was office fucking brackets, whatever, this or this.
• 6:42
  You know, and your kids kinda knew when they watched some games, but they're mostly on while they're at school until it's the weekend games. It's so bad now. I know. I mean, it's one of those, can we have nice things?
• 6:52
  And the answer's obviously not. We've ruined everything. You wanna be able to have nice things.
• 6:57
  Like again, I made some for my kids, they can print it up, this and this, but I'm also very aware that, I mean, literally this week, like two days ago, baseball signed a deal with, I think, Polymarket Po- Po- No. Ooh...
• 7:11
  journalists are being offered deals with prediction markets. Sure. It's like probably a worse version of crypto from a few s- years ago because it's even more than stock trading. It is outcome based. Yeah.
• 7:24
  It influences your behavior and does your decision making, and it's crazy. And look, of course, is it fun to put a couple bucks on a horse here and there? Sure.
• 7:32
  Well, here's things we know about specifically American men. It doesn't stop there. I mean, what did I say in that last show, that tweet?
• 7:38
  It was like all the women are reading For a Personal Pan Pizza, and all the men owe $5,000 to DraftKings. Yeah, I don't know. It's just, it's frustrating and yet inevitable,
• 7:49
  and then frustrating again to have something like this come up that is such a, like, cultural ritual that for once doesn't have anything to do with the NFL. It's like NFL light. Oh.
• 8:00
  And have it be completely ruined 'cause we have made the slide as slippery as, you know, Clark Griswold with his, you know, fucking thing in Winter Vacation. It's, I don't know. It's crazy. It's crazy. Yeah.
• 8:13
  Well, I mean, 'cause it does combine something that is just, I think, like, inherently sticky, which is we all like to make predictions, and that's just fun even without gambling, and especially I think we all love the Cinderella story and the vibes of it all.
• 8:28
  You can go so many different ways. A long time ago on my website, like, I made, I did a March Madness where I graded everyone based on whose uniforms were cuter. Uh-huh.
• 8:36
  And then I had a winner of who had the cutest uniform in NCAA. I've done a bracket once a long time ago on pasta shapes. Mm-hmm. And I have one up today on evil witches of worst places our babies have been born.
• 8:46
  Oh, yeah, great post. Everybody should check that. Pretty good. Thank you.
• 8:50
  I, I spent so long on this one site trying to make this bracket work, and it was, like, just impossible to navigate, and then I kind of fucked around on Figma and then- Mm-hmm. Yeah...
• 9:00
  that's what they really, they made it so easy. But there's something, again, if you're not even putting money in it, there's just something so fun about making choices and just, you know, narrowing things down like that.
• 9:09
  But it is... Yeah, I don't know what to say about the gambling thing. You guys said that. I don't know who let that through. I'm, you know, very- It started in a couple places.
• 9:17
  It was like, you know, it was New Jersey and Vegas for a long time. Mm-hmm.
• 9:22
  And then it started to be other places, and then, you know, these places started to creep in, and then they were allowed on the phones, and then they were allowed in every state, and then you could gamble on things in the state, and now it's everywhere.
• 9:32
  And again, then you're like, "Oh, but every kid has a phone." And they're like, "Yeah, but you gotta be 18." Okay. Sure. Yeah. And then you go, okay, is it okay his teacher made a bracket? Right. That does seem fun.
• 9:43
  And again, like, a- again, the comparing everything is super fun. When I was there, when I was at ESPN, you know, I remember people coming into... We would talk all the time, "What else can we compare?"
• 9:53
  Like, obviously movies we would start with. You see the candy ones all the time. Mm-hmm. Like, all this different shit, right?
• 9:58
  And I remember people coming in, and again, a thousand years ago, and they would try to sell us on, like, some software they had made where you can make a bracket for anything. And we're like, "Oh, this is...
• 10:07
  Our users will love this." Right. And now again, you can do that. It's not new, that idea anymore. What's different is that every man owes $5,000 to DraftKings, you know? No. I- That's beyond...
• 10:20
  The Polymarket thing is fucking crazy. You know? It went from, oh, does it diminish the game that you can bet whether a wide receiver gets a catch this quarter, and that's a thing, and that you chose that thing?
• 10:33
  Okay, we're so far fucking past that now. No. No. Now it's does he mention climate change in his speech, and what does that mean?
• 10:40
  I, I was showing James or Paul, maybe it was Paul, I think it was Paul, but there was some athlete, and it doesn't even matter what sport it was.
• 10:46
  But this, the athlete was saying that it's part of the job now to endure death threats basically, and, you know, all kinds of blowback because of whether whatever you do, whether you do well or fail, you lost someone money.
• 11:00
  And they were like, "That's part of it now."
• 11:02
  And I was like, no mother would want that for their child to be, I mean, maybe a father too, but als- You know, you're like, that is insane and that you shouldn't have to put up with. That shouldn't be in your head.
• 11:13
  Yeah, and we facilitated the very light version of that, which was fantasy sports, which again, like, most people do not do for money.
• 11:19
  And it's, again, I've always argued, like, the fantasy sports were just the vehicle, mostly for preexisting groups, you know? Oh. The cliches like fraternity brothers or offices or whatever, they already existed.
• 11:30
  This just gave them something to kind of talk about. And sometimes there was money, and sometimes there was not.
• 11:35
  But, and you would hear from players, you know, they would come to the office talking about, like, "Oh, do you have your own fantasy team?" This or that.
• 11:40
  And a lot of them did not, and part of that was because, one, they were uncomfortable with it, of the Pete Rose of the whole thing, or two, because at the time there were lawsuits about whether fantasy sports was a game of skill or a game of luck.
• 11:53
  Mm-hmm. And it got to, fuck it, I don't even remember what level of court, but it was up there that it's a g- that it is a game of skill. Really? So it wasn't gambling. And now
• 12:02
  it doesn't matter 'cause it's just fucking gam- Everything's just gambling. Fantasy sports- Yeah... is, like, for babies. So yeah, I don't know. Well, and- It's just a bond...
• 12:10
  it's also a thing for guys in particular, and I don't know if we, if you watched the doc I was gonna talk about, and, but it's more about the article as well.
• 12:17
  But I think there's something interesting I'll lead into about the way men bond over it.And also there is a little bit of pick me girl to it as well.
• 12:25
  Like, th-this teacher that did the brackets, she's a female teacher, and that's neither here nor there, but she's also the teacher that Paul has had the worst grades in 'cause he's always forgotten to turn in the work.
• 12:35
  I cannot raise a ruckus over this thing that is so fun, and it's nice that she does it for the kids, but I'm like, "Why don't you focus on making them finishin' their work first before you, like, oh, add in this whole thing that's gonna keep them from doing it?"
• 12:47
  But, you know, it's a way that guys talk to each other.
• 12:49
  I still-- I think my first, like, conscious memory of March Madness was, like, on a ski trip in high school, and we were in, like, Sun Valley or wherever the hell... No, s- whatever, it doesn't matter.
• 12:59
  And the guys were watching, I think, Tennessee play, play basketball on TV in the restaurant there. And I was like, "Why would you, a boy from Illinois, care about watching Tennessee play?"
• 13:09
  And you realize there's so much more to it, and there's, like, cultural- this, like, thing to bond over. It's like binge-watching, binge-viewing before we had streaming TV, basically.
• 13:18
  I've heard that, I don't know about if you've heard this, that apparently a lot of doctors, like urologists, will do, like, specials during March Madness so that guys can, like, remember- Oh, the peak is crazy. Yeah.
• 13:28
  The peak, you have to time it exactly right because the days you're supposed to be on the couch. Oh yeah, it's huge. I didn't know- Did I tell you how I offered to get a vasectomy and was told no?
• 13:37
  No, I couldn't remember if you had gotten a vasectomy or not- Mm-mm... and why, why you were doing it. I offered a few years a- It's been a while now. I think my wife had the f-fear of what if we need one more?
• 13:46
  I'm like, [laughs] "To be clear, we don't need one more. We even have one on ice." But yeah, it was interesting. I was like, "Oh, oh, okay." I was like, "I'm offering to, to do the thing." We should do it anyway.
• 13:56
  Vasectomies for all is what I say for all men. Especially, uh, there should be an age cap. Like, there should be, I would say 40, at age 45, all men should get vasectomies in my opinion. 100%. Should it be required? Yes.
• 14:11
  Yeah. It is, like, the very, it is, like, the first step on the road back to, you know, reparations. I mean, it's nothing even close, but it'll, it's better than nothing. So- Oh, 100%, definitely...
• 14:22
  I was so nice to Steve when he was recovering from his. Like, his, and to be clear, to be fair, and I believe some men sometimes, he... It wasn't just, like, a day or a weekend. He took a week, I think.
• 14:34
  It hurt, and I saw the stitches. I was like, "Bro, that is, you know, that's real." But again, a week compared to millennia of oppression. I got mad about the mental load, pun semi-intended.
• 14:48
  But, you know, t- you have to clear, you have to show twice that you have no, no guys left behind- Oh, that's a really good pun. Well done. Yeah... and you have to, like... Thank you.
• 14:58
  But Steve felt embarrassed about going down to the doctor and providing evidence of that, and I was so mad because I was like, "You?"
• 15:08
  I mean, I understand in theor- like, theoretically, like, why that would suck, but, you know. I can't even go into the...
• 15:14
  Just the moment when they were checking my cervix for the first time and I got fisted by this doctor who I-- twice, you know? And with no meds and no warning. Right. I'm like, "You get to..."
• 15:25
  And I was just mad at him 'cause he was like, "The nurses know what I'm there for." I'm like, "Nurses deal with the people who are dying. People-" Mm-hmm. "Like, nurses clean up shit off the floor." Yeah.
• 15:33
  "Like, you think that you giving them a cup is..." I was just so mad, and then- They don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck. No. They want you in and out. Get over yourself. Yeah.
• 15:41
  The number of times I had to jerk off in a closet for IVF, like, at this doctor's office. They were like, "Step into the closet." I was like, "Oh, is it the one down the hall? And hang a left and hang a left?"
• 15:50
  They're like, "No, it's right here." It's like when you go to a restaurant and the bathroom is, like, next to your table, and you're like, "God, it couldn't be a little fucking farther away?"
• 15:59
  Like, ev- the whole restaurant knows I'm in there. It's right here. You get over it real quick, you know? Yeah. By the way, no one's ever asked me to have an orgasm for science. And if anything- That's terrible...
• 16:08
  it's, like, the opposite, you know? They take... It's like the pain machine in The Handmaid's Tale. It's the opposite. They take orgasms off your life, like, the whole purpose. If it's off your cervix, get fisted.
• 16:17
  It takes an orgasm off your list. Yeah. It's, it, there's nothing... Yeah. It's, uh... Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. No, I get it. I mean, I want...
• 16:25
  To be fair, I guess, and not to blame things on men all the time, but this is sort of a tie-in to something we were talking about earlier this week, is that I enjoy sports, but I also have
• 16:35
  w- enjoy, I don't know if enjoy is the right word, but I feel like, you know, they are a way to relate to men sometimes.
• 16:40
  It's not, that is not, again, the in on it, but I feel like there's guys, guy friends I've made 'cause I talk about sports or we'll go to a game together or, you know, whatever it is.
• 16:49
  And we, you showed me this article in New York Magazine about women fleeing, like, MAGA basically, like, escaping it.
• 16:58
  And you t- and you sent it to me wanting to talk about it, and I, I had some thoughts about it, but I was curious, like, what stood out to you about that piece and, like, why you wanted to chat about it.
• 17:05
  Again, it's both completely evergreen. Mm-hmm. Women leaving the church, pick a church. Women, you know, like, the cults. I mean, which this is. It's a fucking tale as old as time, right? Mm-hmm.
• 17:17
  But at the same time, it's also incredibly timely. Yeah. Because where the two biggest voting blocks for Trump are white women and young white men both times. And I don't know, it's very easy to react to it and go,
• 17:33
  "Yeah, what the fuck did you think was it, th-th-this was?" You know? Yeah. And some people going, "Well, Joe Rogan's surprised at the- No... immigration and war."
• 17:40
  And you're like, it's very easy to be correct and justified and annoying on your high horse.
• 17:45
  As much as we have been banning and burning books and people for a very long time as far as censorship goes and being terrified of ideas, m-mostly women, while dudes get to diddle whoever they want anytime they want.
• 17:59
  And it's the same with disinformation. However many pamphlets you wanna talk about or just religious shit that's gotten people killed through the Crusades, whatever it might be.
• 18:10
  But there's never been a saturation of dis- and misinformation that is so specifically, whether it started with your Cambridge Analytica shit or whatever, that is so specifically targeted to you.All day that it's almost surprising that they would leave- Mm...
• 18:29
  at some points. Because my point is, like, to escape it, just the information vacuum, much less like the power system which is at home in every part of your reach,
• 18:42
  I think is actually, I don't wanna say like impressive, just logistically is difficult to do. And in a world of it's gonna take all of us to turn the ship around as much as we can, [chuckles] great. But I don't know.
• 18:58
  That's-- I try to come back to these fundamental parts of it. But then again, like in the now, right now of all of it going just like... Then you watch the manosphere stuff, right? And you go, "Meanwhile- Mm-hmm...
• 19:10
  here's how it's going on the rest of the internet." I thought there was... Did you happen to watch that documentary I was telling you about? Never watched. I've watched parts of it. Okay.
• 19:16
  No, I haven't watched the entire thing. All right. It's, for people who don't know what I'm talking about, it's Louis Theroux.
• 19:20
  I don't know if I'm pronouncing his last name correct, but Louis Theroux: Inside the Manosphere on Netflix. Yeah. And I actually think these two pieces were really interesting hand-in-hand pieces.
• 19:28
  But regarding the article, we'll link to both of these, I presume, in the show notes. But the article stood out to me in that the women interviewed were young women, right?
• 19:38
  And they were very online, so they're not talking to women who've been baked and, you know- Sure... put some time, bo- mileage on their bodies or given birth or taking care of an elderly person. And what is the phrase?
• 19:49
  The pick me girl of it all stood out to me. Are you familiar with this kind of... Or as they say it on Reddit or whatever online, "I'm not like the other girls," which is a, you know, a way women who feel- Right...
• 20:00
  like they don't fit into a certain mold that they identify, differentiate themselves. So they, so these girls talk about basically being like, "It gave me,
• 20:09
  like, a little tingle to be edgy, you know, and to go against the grain," and they were-- And the grain for them is, you know, progressivism in this time as- Mm... when they're young.
• 20:19
  The lecturing, the wokeism, progressivism that- Right... we've been doing for 10 years, which they've grown up in, again. Right.
• 20:26
  Which is, like, very interesting to me b- on its own because I think I-- it ma- it makes me re- think about what I fear for my kids, like my boys basically, specifically, which is an inability to separate online discourse from the real world.
• 20:40
  Sure.
• 20:40
  So, like in my town, which is really progressive, there was a lot of infighting around COVID, especially around, you know, Black Lives Matter in public schools, and there was a lot of finger-pointing and basically, like, a lot of well-meaning people online being told that they were white supremacists or racists.
• 20:57
  And it was, like, very out of control, out of pocket. But I feel like the winner, like the winners were not the ones who could be passed as being acceptable.
• 21:07
  The winners were the people who could be like, "This is an online discourse, and this is not related to, like, my real..."
• 21:12
  Or being like, "I'm not gonna get involved in this," or, "I'm not gonna take it personally if some random heated person online is gonna accuse me of this."
• 21:20
  And that's hard when your kids are involved and the school is involved, and we're all, like, on Ed.
• 21:24
  But then there are a couple people, I know neighbors, who, like, really internalize that, and they think, "Oh, people in Evanston think white men are shit," basically. Or, you know, and you're like,
• 21:36
  "That's a bummer that you can't sort out sort of this one discussion from how you think you are truly perceived," you know?
• 21:43
  And then your reaction is anger at how you're perceived rather than doing anything else about the circumstances or your own self. So anyway, I lost the thread on that, but- No.
• 21:53
  So much of it was justified, and so much of it was overboard and caused so much infighting and just lecturing and shit like that, that, you know, again, they grew up on there.
• 22:02
  They were entirely online for a couple years because online was becoming more prevalent because, and in parallel to the pandemic.
• 22:12
  Again, all the fundamental things of young boys and girls, like, basically don't hang out anymore, things like that. But there's a line in a piece that again felt, it's so timely and so fucking evergreen.
• 22:24
  It was something like, "Sexism was, like, the price of entry to- Mm-hmm... the quote-unquote party," but also literally the party. But actually that was, like, the theme of it.
• 22:32
  But, and again, on the one hand I'm like, it always has been. Yeah. Like forever. I know. Like trad life is not a trend. Yeah. And that's what they would prefer. You know? Yeah. That's the way it was.
• 22:43
  They would love it to go back to that. So on the one hand, you're like, how did you not know that? Yeah. But I think there was some pushing against the, again, substitute progressivism for, what did they say?
• 22:55
  Yelling at them a- telling their playlist wasn't woke enough or whatever. Yeah. You know, it's like we all went to college when the fucking R. Kelly songs were the songs you danced to. I get it. Right.
• 23:04
  But there's a di- it's like the whole how can you separate Woody Allen from his movies type of thing, right? So some of th- that wokeism is easier than others.
• 23:12
  Well, I guess to tie it back to the parenting thing, for me, I wor- I hope that my boys become... There's a couple things that I think about. First of all, I hope that they can...
• 23:20
  I wrote a piece that I never published called "The Man Tax," which is, I think that, like, men, all men should be able to absorb a little bit of criticism or, like, tomfoolery because they know, like, you have everything else, so you should be able to handle some JP- Curry...
• 23:36
  or a friend. And my hope is that, like, my boys can be like, they might see something online. You know, you might see something that's like, "Why are all men should be born in prison and then prove their way out?"
• 23:46
  You know, which is a joke, but also kind of true. And, but I can tell the difference because I h- have to get off my computer and go be about in the world, and there's a million other things going on.
• 23:57
  But there are some people who, like, will read that and think that's what the world thinks of them and respond according to that.
• 24:03
  And so my hope for them is that they have a well enough balanced diet of l- real life and online and understanding what their life really is, which is extremely privileged versus...
• 24:14
  And then if they find, if they encounter something like that, not taking it like a personal affront, and even better, being like, "Where did this come from?"
• 24:22
  What, like, you know, exploring that discomfort, 'cause usual- out- very often that kind of discomfort is rooted in something true, you know? And you have to- Of course... understand it better.
• 24:31
  'Cause that's what I very muchI'm concerned about, like, for at least in, on that end of things. It's all the things, right?
• 24:38
  I mean, they talked in the article about how for a lot of folks, not just young women, like, the embrace of Nick Fuentes was, like, such a big part of it, where it's, like, been around, but people were, like, overtly protecting him, and not just protecting him, but would go even further.
• 24:50
  And again, you can say that's a, a minority of the audience. Small fish, big... Okay. It's like there's a lot. Yeah.
• 24:56
  And it's this idea of, like, where do we- where do people get their information, and at what part of their life do they get from it information?
• 25:03
  How rigorous is it in a world where everyone has a Substack and no one has an editor, much less the fact-checker? But, you know, like, the original, one of the, one of the...
• 25:13
  Again, pagan atheist, religious scholar, and I did a lot of work on religious warfare, was like, people who take the monotheistic religious texts literally,
• 25:25
  and those who take them as direction, and will admit that, you know, the Bible had a lot of different authors- Yeah... and was written hundreds of years after.
• 25:34
  No one's saying that doesn't mean you shouldn't take the, the Good Samaritan part out of it. Mm. But you can pick it apart. Watch the West Wing episode about it. But apply that to every voice that these...
• 25:44
  Again, forget the adults, and qu- quote unquote on young women who are all the boomers who are Facebooked to the end.
• 25:51
  These young kids who are like, they literally don't have the synapsis connections to, to make some of these fundamental, like, slow thinking. What's the book? Uh, Fast and Slow Thinking or whatever it is. Mm.
• 26:02
  They, they don't, they're not even, like, biologically capable of that. Yeah. And they're being inundated by this twenty-four/seven. So I do want you to watch the, this Netflix doc because something that is- I will...
• 26:13
  I think an interesting parallel is that the documentarian follows these man- a couple of these manosphere people, and they a- all, like, m- they all seem to have one, at least one sort of, like, pet woman basically, who's, like, hot, and they will make a big point about being, like, telling her on camera to clean up, basically, and that's sort of a flex.
• 26:34
  Like, having this woman is like a Lamborghini basically, you know.
• 26:38
  But the documentarian goes deeper in this, and he talks to some of them a little bit more about what are you doing this for, and he does talk to one of their moms, which is amazing at the very end.
• 26:49
  I can't-- I don't wanna give off any, give any spoilers, but these girls or these women, it's very interesting because, like, they explore how these guys both are like, "I'm a pimp, look at me," but also they have this hatred of women and what they perceive to be- Mm.
• 27:03
  What they would refer to as, like, whores, basically.
• 27:06
  And there is a real fine line between women who, I presume they're keeping them, you know, they're paying them to be around and making their lives nice to clean up for them, but they also, th- you know, that's fine, but a porn star is disgusting.
• 27:20
  And it is very, there's so many mixed messages and, but these guys at the same time have this, I don't know how to explain it, this, like, this masculinity that to me is very ba-baby-ish, boyish.
• 27:32
  It's sort of like what you said about Donald Trump. He's a poor man's idea of what a rich man is like. I feel like these guys are like what insecure men's idea of what masculinity is like.
• 27:41
  And, and I was like, this reminded me of Girls Gone Wild in college, 'cause I was like, something is giving me a weird vibe here, and it- By the way, like, you think you remember that shit?
• 27:51
  If you YouTube that or MTV Spring Break stuff and see some of the stuff, it's just like, holy shit, that was crazy. Well, yeah.
• 28:01
  And I mean, th- I don't wanna, I'm very, I don't wanna ever talk about how things were so much better when we were younger because I remember that coming out when we were in college, and it was right around that time too that Sex and the City was ramping up.
• 28:14
  And so you get a lot of mixed messages about if you wanna empower yourself, it's not about feminism and studying, it's about sucking dick and having one-night stands and feeling great about it.
• 28:27
  And, you know, now on the other end of it, like, both things can be true, right? Like, you can have a really great sex life, but also you're allowed to have a career. Sex positive. Yeah. It's great.
• 28:37
  But also, we don't need to do away with women's suffrage, you know, no matter what Dr. Pete Hosketh says.
• 28:42
  Or you don't have to, you know, it's okay now, I think, to say, "Don't get blackout drunk," to, or, "Try not to get blackout drunk," you know, around shady men you don't know or especially in another country.
• 28:54
  And, but I'll, I guess my point is, like, this sort of vulnerability is not new, especially as a woman, to be told by both sides it is empowering to put yourself in front of these men basically like this, you know, and it is empowering to
• 29:09
  make these choices that, like, serve you up towards men. And then
• 29:15
  I don't know, I don't know if I'm being very articulate, but I was like, this is not new for these young women I'm talking about, to think- No, none of yours is... put yourself at the mercy of these men.
• 29:23
  The point I think I was trying to make is, and I just found it, there's a line in here where they said, "Conservative vlogger Rod Dreher has estimated around thirty to forty percent of DC GOP staffers are under the age of thirty are Fuentes fans.
• 29:36
  Numbers are impauf- impossible to verify," et cetera, et cetera. X account reinstated by Musk, one point two million followers, nightly broadcasts on Rumble, more than a million views.
• 29:49
  There has never been, like, a twenty-four/seven saturation of the people, young men, uh, obviously also old men, but new generations of young men seeking to not just control th-these girls and, and young women, right?
• 30:07
  But like you said, d-dominion over them in this just fucked up way, and it's crazy. Again, you can watch this stuff and just go, "I don't know. It's, I don't know."
• 30:17
  Well, if you watch the doc, you see these guys walking around, and a lot of them are, they're very clownish.
• 30:23
  Again, like, to me, like, this very swole, like, they look uncomfortably muscly, you know, and sheened and polished, and they look so dumb walking around, like, with their phone out all the time or, you know.
• 30:34
  One of them keeps going to this, like, boxing gymPunching bag at a boardwalk to see who's the strongest puncher, and you're like, "What a dork."
• 30:41
  But then I think the thing that, like, breaks your heart is that you see all these children basically run up to them and be like, "Yo, you're so-and-so, can I get a picture?"
• 30:51
  And, and you're like, "Who the hell are these boys? Who let this happen?" And, you know, I think that's what strikes fear in you, is you think, "I would never let my kid do that."
• 30:58
  And you're like, "Well, I don't know, my kid made fun of me yesterday for laughing too loud in the car 'cause I embarrassed him," and there's some other way that my kids all, you know, basically shit on me, you know, in various ways, and you're like, "Is this happening?
• 31:11
  Is it, is this for real or..." Well, and again, because y- do you remember "Don't take Trump literally"? That whole thing? Again- Yeah...
• 31:17
  it goes back to the pe- people who, again, for 2,000 years have taken the Bible or whatever text you want literally.
• 31:24
  People have said the same thing about, again, Trump or Fuentes or whatever, which is, "Oh, half of that's just jokes or it's fun," or, "He's going off this." It's like- Mm-hmm...
• 31:32
  we have more than enough evidence to show that young men are completely incapable of separating literal from figurative. Mm-hmm.
• 31:38
  They're just gonna take that and fucking take it as actual gospel and go with it, and then again, all those little boys run up. So let's make this a little action-oriented, Claire. You don't have girls. Right.
• 31:49
  Obviously, this is the men's problem. I always wanna be clear about that. I've got boy, girl, boy.
• 31:53
  My, my job is not only to protect her, help her protect herself, all this, but even more so make these boys not that, and however much I can Peter Singer style, uh, expand the circle to their groups of friends.
• 32:06
  How would you, reading this, manosphere, all this, let's say you had a 12-year-old girl like me. How would you- Mm... prepare her for the next six years?
• 32:14
  Well, that's imp- I mean, that is, like, the 10,000, whatever, how much money? $10,000 question. Like, how- The knowledge just to c- come to these, like, fundam- like, what... Yeah.
• 32:24
  Well, let me go, let me start back from what, all my interactions with my mom friends who do have daughters, and I think the heartbreak
• 32:31
  and the, the thing that really blows your mind is that you cannot instill in a young girl everything that you know as a grown woman. Like- Mm-hmm... you would like to.
• 32:40
  You know, all the things like, "You're beautiful the way you are." Skincare.
• 32:43
  You know, "Don't let people get to, you know, bully you or steal your thing," and then they are end up bullying someone else and getting, you know, put to the line and bully. Like, so on the one hand, you can't do that.
• 32:55
  God, where do you start? I don't even know. I think a couple things.
• 32:58
  Just being, keeping people busy and offline, and that is a huge part of it, is keep them away, at least for a certain extent, off social media, off the computer, and keep them in the real world so that you can remember, you know, like, real shit is happening.
• 33:13
  Bombs are falling on people. People are taking care of dying parents. People are working at the grocery store.
• 33:18
  That, the grocery store is not m- related to the bombs or the dying parents, just, like, real people, real shit. And it is a fine line between being like, "You should be scared of men," versus, "You are not...
• 33:28
  The men are not scary 'cause they're not better than you or don't have more power than you."
• 33:32
  That, and that's another one that my mom friends with daughters always worry about is girl kinda like to sc- show more skin right now, and a lot of moms I know, and dads too, but are like, "How do I keep her safe but not shame her at the same time?"
• 33:45
  And I don't have an answer to that yet. Because she's gonna hit escape velocity, like, with her hormones and sex life, and again, I think we've talked about this from the This Is Awkward book.
• 33:54
  Like, how do you make it sex positive and fun? Because those things are all true, but also say, "You should be more terrified of this generation of young men than we've been in a very long time." Yeah.
• 34:05
  I think showing different kinds of masculinity to boys and girls is important.
• 34:10
  Like, I was thinking again in this, in the doc, the guy, one guy's a dad, and he brags about how he doesn't change diapers or anything like that, and I was like, that's so funny to me to imply that it's more masculine to be less competent at something.
• 34:23
  You know? Like- In procreating? Yeah.
• 34:25
  Or, like, men who are, would never, can't change a light bulb because they've never done manual labor, and, like, to me, nothing is more attractive in my husband than when he takes care of his kids and when he fixes things around the house.
• 34:36
  Yeah, what did he fix the other day? And I commented. I said that's what you're used to. This, uh, yeah, the oven fan, the, or the- Mm... stovetop fan.
• 34:42
  I don't know how that- If that doesn't get you going, I don't know what else to tell you. That's all it is.
• 34:44
  Oh, when he cleans the toilet out, not cleans, but, like, the boys will shit up the toilet and fuck it up and clog it all up, and he'll go up there all mad with the toilet snake, and I'm like, "That's my man." You know?
• 34:54
  Like, he, he deserves it as a man, but also he can do it. And, like, I...
• 34:59
  You know, there's another train of thought that's if you were a real man, you would just make so much money in crypto that you could just hire maintenance men all the time. You know, but to me, like...
• 35:08
  So, you know, showing women, men in caretaking positions. And this is not m- just women and boys. You know, boy babysitters, boy nurses, boy, you know, all these things.
• 35:17
  I think it is just so hard to show people, show young people whose brains are so in the here and now, like, the long scope of things.
• 35:25
  Just the fact that just 'cause someone is young and hot now or valued for this and that now, talk to them in 25 years, but they don't care about that. They're not thinking that way.
• 35:33
  I- No, and nor, by the way, nor should they have to. Like, and, and- Yeah...
• 35:36
  you gotta go through that stuff, but you hopefully go through it, and, um, as our, one of our kids' elementary school teachers says, she's, "There's no easier place in their life to fail than in-" Right...
• 35:46
  "elementary school." If they don't turn in this homework, they forget this page, they fuck around in class, whatever, of course, we're gonna, you know, deal with it in an age appropriate and setting appropriate place.
• 35:55
  But this is, a lot easier, it's gonna be in middle school, this and this. You hope that's how it goes. Yeah. Control what you can control.
• 36:02
  Plugging them into different, I think plugging them into different social contexts is also important so they're not always, you're not always worried about these one group of girls thinks about, you know, have them, if they're not sports, art, you know, or whatever the hell it is, out gardening, volunteer work.
• 36:16
  Just something so that you are realizing there is a bigger universe out there than just, like, the same 12 bitches that you see every day in school, you know? And, and this is slightly older girls.
• 36:27
  I think about this a lot.
• 36:28
  This is more maybe a me thing, but if, I always said if I had a daughter, and maybe this is best that I didn't, I was like, I would probably make sure that she knows how to enjoy her body.Before she gets involved with someone else.
• 36:40
  And there's-- Because I had, I [laughs]... Well, I grew up with conservative parents. My mom more than my dad, actually, which is kind of interesting.
• 36:47
  My dad was more, like, religious conservative, my mom was more politically conservative. Okay. And, you know, Catholic, right? And so I was a good girl for, you know, the appropriate amount of time. Mm-hmm.
• 36:59
  And it's inane to hand yourself over to somebody or put yourself in someone's hands and be like, "I don't know how this works. You figure it out." You know?
• 37:08
  And all they know is from stupid movies or like disgusting TikToks or whatever the hell they're watching, like XTube. Yeah.
• 37:14
  So I'm really going off on a- all kinds of tangents right now, and this is so depends on the- But it's an all-encompassing, it's an all-encompassing problem, and as we, you know, in my work, we always try to frame it as fu- future positive, hopefully, an opportunity.
• 37:28
  I mean, feel like I'm grasping at fucking straws on it, but we do have to do it, so it's the whole thing.
• 37:33
  And this is the thing is like, it's like when we talk about the sandwich generation stuff with our parents, like they're-- I don't care what kind of shape they're in, nobody ages in a linear fashion after 70 or 80 or whatever.
• 37:44
  These kids are barreling into puberty and all of these things. And- Yeah... it, it feels like throwing darts sometimes. There was, a while ago on Reddit, teacher Reddit, someone posted... I thought this was very sweet.
• 37:57
  Someone said, "We're always talking shit about this generation of kids. What are they better at?" Other than other kids, kids from like earlier generations.
• 38:04
  And a lot of them said that they are much more accepting than prior generations of kids.
• 38:09
  There's, it's, there's way more like, way less ostracization and sensitivity, which is very, I- it's heartening, and I'd like to grab onto that, that, you know, they notice when somebody is being bullied or they are more interested.
• 38:23
  There's more ways to be a kid, right? You can be into a wider... But this is me talking from where I live in my town.
• 38:30
  You know, like I think for some reason I, I think back a lot to, there was a New Yorker article a long time ago about teaching sex ed and like sort of geographically.
• 38:38
  I think it was more about how kids who have got proper sex ed training are more afraid of getting pregnant than kids who have had no sex ed training.
• 38:46
  And then you think about like Sarah Palin's kids, you know, who all got preg- or, you know, like Lauren Boebert. Yeah. And you think about how that's the end of the world, basically.
• 38:55
  And so it's easy for me to talk about it here in my life where you can go step on the train and go to a museum or see a million different kinds of things- Yeah...
• 39:02
  versus like somewhere else where you'd have nothing to do except maybe, you know, have sex and drink and drive around. Sure. And I'm not- Which is a lot of places. Yeah. Totally. You know? Yeah.
• 39:13
  It's very easy to be like, "Oh, look, things have gotten better." And it's like, yeah, they have in a lot of ways, and every generation's a little different, and there's gonna be whiplash for all of them.
• 39:21
  Something that was of interest to me about this article and the documentary is that older women are, like don't exist at all to any of these cohorts.
• 39:28
  Like, they sort of say you can be a, a nun, a mother or a whore, but once you are...
• 39:33
  And it's just very interesting 'cause it is like, there is so much emphasis like on the trad of it all, which I think, you know, younger women who are maybe more
• 39:42
  gullible may think it- this is like a cushy life, a soft life, where you get to stay at home and relax, and a man pays for things, and then your kid shows up and you realize, like, there's a lot more to this, you know, than you thought.
• 39:54
  But yeah, nobody talks about adult or older women in it, which it's not to say as an older woman I'm like, "Good, don't talk to me or think about me, please," but it is just interest- I think it, the vulnerability and that there-- people are, um, talking about a very vulnerable stage of life for a lot of people.
• 40:10
  Sure. Which is interesting. No one's, you know, talking about older MAGA women who've turned away, you know, or... I don't know.
• 40:16
  There's one man, there's one guy in the blogos- in the manosphere doc who is a big fan of the, one of the guys they follow, and this man is clearly in a sad stage of life, and it's just, like, depressing 'cause you're like, this is...
• 40:30
  These guys think they're so powerful, and they're really... Like, this kinda goes back to March Madness and gambling. So much of this is just a fucking scam. Like, just scamming people. Fucking scam. Which is...
• 40:39
  And that to me- And we don't realize how much we're being fucked, and that's the Trump thing too, right? Yeah. Is people j- they're just like, "Oh, well, if he can do it, it's this."
• 40:45
  It's like, he's gonna f- fucking bleed you dry. He couldn't give a less... Andrew Tate doesn't give a fuck about you. No. And I, that, I told my, I told Steve about after I watched the doc, I was like,
• 40:57
  "We need to remember to tell the boys that they are wealthy." And I don't mean that necessarily like money that we have on hand, but like the stability that they have in place that I hope that they know don't...
• 41:10
  You don't need a get rich scheme. Like, you're on a good track right now. Like, you don't need to earn $1,000 a week on- Mm. Geez... crypto or whatever the hell and, or gambling. You know?
• 41:20
  Like the payout of the big whatever the hell you're gonna get like money from. But again, you can't convince kids of that. That's like telling kids... I remember my mom would be like, "Find a sweater.
• 41:29
  When you find a sweater that you like, get it in several colors." And you're like, as a young person, you're like, "Fuck that. I wanna just, I want new stuff and I wanna throw away the old stuff constantly." And so yeah.
• 41:39
  I don't know how we fix young people to think better. It's one of those so many things can be true at once. Like,
• 41:48
  the number of times I've used YouTube to fix something, the ways you can learn incredible things on these n- relatively niche now, you know, would've had prime time numbers for some of these channels about the most incredible historic or science, whatever, philosophy, philosophical things.
• 42:05
  They're amazing. It doesn't even just have to be like, you know, John's Crash Course stuff for complexity or anything. And at the same time, there's so many just awful things that you can be pulled down.
• 42:17
  And I was looking at... So on the Apple screen time settings, for the internet ones, you can, there's a few settings, and it's like everything is cool, I mean, besides like turn Safari off and YouTube.
• 42:31
  Everything is cool or block a- adult sites, which I'm sure is just an internal thing they keep updated, or only these allowed sites. And I have historically just done only these allowed sites.
• 42:41
  And for a long time it was like pbskids.org, and that's what you get.And I wasn't really struggling, but I had a moment where I was, you know, the kids are really getting into music, and there's some amazing music teachers, and even their band teacher has, like, a channel where he's, "Here's how the songs works," or, "Here's my band," and the kids wanna watch that stuff straight.
• 42:57
  I'm like, I would love if the YouTube settings allowed me to say only these channels. Mm. Right? Mm-hmm. Like the screen time settings. 'Cause I was like, "Great. Watch all these videos.
• 43:08
  Watch every chess video you want." You know? You, you cannot do that. Yeah. You cannot do that. And that's such a fucking bummer because again- Yeah...
• 43:16
  you could unleash just an incredible attack area of learning that is... You know, I felt like it...
• 43:23
  when I handed the kids those refurbished iPods that I told you on the Alaska trip, and one of them came out of the bedroom and was like, "Elvis is amazing." They'd been in there- Yeah... for 10 hours, you know? I know.
• 43:32
  And you're like, yeah, what could they learn? What could... It'd be amazing, but you can't do that. And then, and you know it's on purpose because that is- Yeah... not...
• 43:39
  In a world where technically anything is possible, that is not a complicated thing for them to do. But they could do that, but that's not- Still... in the business plan, and that's a fucki- it's just a fucking bummer.
• 43:47
  You know? It's a bummer. I don't know. I have a question for you. I, in my mind, the idea of masculinity was not even something that really came up.
• 43:56
  Like, we didn't talk about that when we were younger, about how you are masculine or not masculine, but do you remember being younger, let's say twe- teen, tween, young adult even, and, like, who or what you thought was, like, what a guy, what a man should be?
• 44:12
  Like, what a masculine ideal would be? Besides Ken Griffey Jr. Using his body to get anything that was if- within reasonable striking distance, whether there was a wall there or not. Bruce Springsteen, 100%. Yeah.
• 44:27
  In the... Not afraid to sing about how mad he was about his dad. Mm. Which turns out complicated because they both carry enormous depression.
• 44:37
  The way he carried himself, wrote songs, still writes songs, about things he didn't even know about but also things he knew intimately, you know? Love songs that were not just straight-up I love you songs.
• 44:47
  You know, also grew up on a lot of
• 44:49
  rap and hip hop and R&B, things like that, so there was definitely a lot of, you know, sexual type stuff that was, again, we, I think all, probably not all, but thought at the time all with a broad brush thought was, like, fun and- Mm...
• 45:03
  you know, edgy. It's like the, you know, you see it on the parenting TikToks and shit of, "Oh, your kids think this is dirty music? Wait till I play this for them," you know? Oh. From 1998 or 2000, whatever.
• 45:14
  And you're like, "Yeah, wow." Or there's even better ones that are more specific now, which is, "This is what I looked like in 1999, and this is what I was listening to." Mm-hmm. So I think all of those, you know.
• 45:25
  My dad has always had a very, like, not macho, but, like, I grew up in the Jersey Bor- Boardwalk. Like, we get in fights for whatever it need to be, this or that. Mm. And I'm like, "Okay." I don't know.
• 45:39
  Mine was very s- sports and music related, I think. I was really lucky to have... I don't think about this part enough, even though it was enormous. So it's my grandfather's, it would be his 101st birthday today.
• 45:53
  I had two amazing grandfathers, both fought in the war, both incredible human beings and incredible grandfathers and fathers. And on my dad's side, I have one uncle who's the best. He's great.
• 46:06
  And on my mom's side, I had five blood uncles and four of them married. My mom's the second youn- my mom's the second oldest of nine, and all the aunts and uncles involved were amazing people. Mm.
• 46:18
  And because she's the second oldest, half of them lived with me growing up. Like, most of the uncles, was very close with them. Those were all my influences. And again, it was a lot of sports stuff, things like that.
• 46:30
  Again, they all kinda grew up going to Catholic church but faded out of it, this and that, so it was fairly solid, you know? Mm-hmm. It was fairly so- solid in that respect. And again, my exposure to music- Yeah...
• 46:43
  or sports was when it came on. There wasn't... I didn't have access to Joe Rogan's Twitter feed- Mm-hmm... and things like that, which I'm sure there are pros and cons.
• 46:56
  Like, we always talk about, oh, the, you know, Elon Musk didn't have a Twitter feed. People wouldn't care so much. It's like, great.
• 47:01
  I'm sure if fucking JFK, you know, was retweeting hot chicks like he was doing in his office, it would, we would have a different memory of him. Great. It wasn't what it is.
• 47:09
  The point is I just didn't have access to that. The things I did have access were, like, these good guys. Mm-hmm. And my older brother's four and a half years older than me. His friends, amazing guys. We're all close.
• 47:19
  I was very lucky that those were my influences. And I still did fucking dumb shit, but hopefully not, like, dumb dumb shit, you know? Mm-hmm. Hopefully not this kind of stuff. So different time, but I was lucky.
• 47:31
  Again, I always had an uncle living over the garage who was, would put me in my place- Mm... real fast, because his grandfather did, or his dad too, my grandfather. But in a
• 47:42
  very, I don't, I wanna say traditional family in the sense of not trad wife, in the sense of we have fucking values. Mm-hmm. Morals, and you fucked up. Yeah. So- Yeah... I don't know. I felt very lucky in that respect.
• 47:56
  Interesting. Yeah, it is just funny how I was th- uh, between, especially the MAGA article, I was like, why, what is this, like, fever pit fear and hatred of women coming from?
• 48:10
  'Cause I was like, we haven't done well- I think part of it's the unknown. Yeah. Th- th- they're not, they don't hang out with women. They have no idea how to talk to them.
• 48:18
  And again, all this is on purpose, and then it becomes circuitous, right? Where you have no exposure. You have no idea how to talk to them. You're scared of them. Yeah. You're scared of sex 'cause you haven't had sex.
• 48:28
  You're told both to masturbate all the time, but not at all.
• 48:31
  No, it's just, uh, it's fear, it's insecurities, which again, the, these influencers, if you wanna call them that, just prey on and prey on and prey on till you're like, "I'm supposed, I'm doing all the things right.
• 48:42
  Isn't this all the things I'm supposed to do? Tell the lady who lives with me to go clean shit." I don't know how else- Why doesn't bitch like me?
• 48:48
  I- Exactly.I, like, I guess if I took, I chose to take some heart from that, from the piece, I was like, "I wonder if this is all an implication that women are closer to gaining more footholds in leadership and power, and so this is the pre-backlash, like the terror of it" 'cause I'm like, I don't see what they're so scared of 'cause, like, we're still- Right.
• 49:08
  Is it 'cause we're on the cusp? Um- And that's what- Yeah... I mentioned to somebody, you know, after the Virginia election, which is something that happens every six months, I feel like, at this point, there are more...
• 49:17
  I don't remember if it's just the House or the full legislature, the full general assembly, but there are more democratically elected women than there were- Mm... total Republicans elected, I think.
• 49:32
  And you can, like, not scoff at it, but you can kind of shrug it off or be like, "Oh, that's cool," but also go, "We've done that before. What does this actually mean?"
• 49:44
  And now you look up after 60 days of legislature and go, "They've passed more pro-worker, pro-family, pro women things that, you know, we've spit out four constitutional amendments about civil rights in 48 hours."
• 49:57
  And you go, "Well, maybe that's one thing that fucking happens." And there... Guess what, guys? There's nothing to be scared of in there. Give us a stance. We might not be that bad. Yeah.
• 50:06
  It could be just be better for everyone. All right. I wanna switch real quick before we get going and do a quick, like, kinda game sorta thing, if you have time, or I can save it for just right now if there's not time.
• 50:16
  I just wanna finish up by reminding everyone that you didn't fill out a women's bracket 'cause you didn't make time for it. Women's sports are boring and not real, and they only score, like, what, eight points a game?
• 50:27
  So anyway, uh- Here's the thing. I did not look at any of our notes, 'cause Claire sent me a message after I sent her the notes thing, and she said, "I wanna play a game. I put an image in there. Don't look at it."
• 50:36
  I was like, "Well, I can't then. I have no idea what else is in the notes." Okay.
• 50:40
  So this made me laugh because one of the moms in my eighth grade mom group sent this meme out from Instagram, and it says, "Trending slang everyone is using in 2026," and it made me sad for her 'cause I was like, "This slang is all incredibly old already."
• 50:56
  And so I was like, nothing is more mom than being... It makes me think of, like, Marge Simpson being like, "Every Simpson does it now" when she, like, is just so lame. [laughs] Fucking justice for Marge.
• 51:08
  Man, poor- I know. I know... she's been through. My God, the shit she had to put up with. Making homemade, homemade Pepsi. But I wanted to quiz you on some of these 'cause I wanted to know how much of these you know.
• 51:19
  So- Do you want me to look at it, or are you gonna quiz me out loud here? No, I'm gonna tell you something. Okay, so if I'm- Okay... complaining about, about Paul being delulu, what does delulu mean?
• 51:28
  If my son is being delulu, what does that mean? I don't really know that one. Is that delusional? Yeah. Okay, so that one's- That seems like an easy one. You're starting me off easy. Yeah. Okay.
• 51:39
  Tell me what the difference is between something being cooked and somebody who ate.
• 51:47
  Side note, I actually sent a message, a text message, to Oliver last night because Willow and I were talking about something, and I said, "I need you to explain to me the difference between cooked and cook," and he...
• 51:59
  I will send you the screenshot. But he was like, "Oh, boy. Here we go." My understanding is- Wait... let me cook or I cooked or he cooked is positive. What? Uh-huh.
• 52:14
  Claire is cooked or I am cooked is a net negative. Mm. That's my understanding of it. Is that- Yeah... correct? I would say so, yes. Okay. But, and, a- and to throw something else in there- Yeah...
• 52:29
  if we were to say, "Let you cook. Let Quinn cook," what does that mean? See, that feels like a real in-betweener. I don't know. Does that mean let me burn for my s- like, he... Fuck around and find out, or is that- Yeah.
• 52:42
  No, no... is that like NBA Jam, he's on fire? It means let him do his thing. Like, you may not understand it. Yes. But he knows what he's doing, so let him cook. So yeah, that's, that is what let them cook means.
• 52:54
  Like, let them continue. It might turn out good. That's what this meme says. Yeah. But if I said you ate, like Dana really ate with that script she wrote, what does that mean? I assume that means successful, right? Yeah.
• 53:06
  Like, she, she did well. Is that what it means? Yeah.
• 53:10
  Now, I just wanna note that, like most of these things, if anyone wants to get ahead on slang, just watch Drag Race, current Drag Race, or talk to a gay person for more than a few minutes. Mm-hmm.
• 53:23
  'Cause all, most slang comes from gay culture, African American young gay culture, I would say. Mm-hmm.
• 53:29
  So a lot of this, like for instance, if I was like, "Oh, Quinn, your shirt is giving Eddie Vedder 1990s," what does giving mean? I assume it means... You're already laughing at me. Like,
• 53:40
  a, like a positive representation of the subject you're giving. Here is my problem, is I've heard in the past someone say, "Ooh, Claire is giving today." Giving what? No, that's not how that's used. You're giving...
• 53:51
  It invokes- I feel like I've heard that. It invokes. It's, you're evoking. And, uh, it usually means something- Mm-hmm... I would say...
• 53:58
  Well, I wouldn't say normally stylish or not, but yeah, you're just saying, oh, you're giving I don't know what. Like, for example- Can it be used in a derogatory way, like you're giving hobo? I would say it... Yeah.
• 54:08
  Yeah. But I would say on its own, it's a neutral, it's a neutral term. But it's just a way of being like, "Oh, you look like blank." You know, you're like... It's also, it's similar to sus.
• 54:17
  So the subject is really where the judging is. Yes. And also I would say serving. If you are serving, that's a look. You're turning a look good, but you're serving. Like, you look good. Is it like Blue Steel?
• 54:30
  Is Blue Steel serving? No. Not, no. We're kinda- Losing it... losing... Now, this yacht in the meme, I wish it was. It would be really funny.
• 54:39
  I just wanna note that from the gay culture right now, and this is not for you to know, you know, cunt is, and you can bleep that if you want, but cunt is positive now, and it made me laugh because my friend's daughter referred to someone as cunty, and my friend's daughter is 13, and I was like, "I have-"I understand the evolution of the term, and I'm glad that, you know, we are accepting of that more.
• 55:01
  It's turned a corner. But I- I was under strict instructions we're not using that. You should adhere to that. Don't... And I just think, I'm like, you know what?
• 55:11
  I said, I was like, "You shouldn't be allowed to say cunt until you have owned and operated one," you know, or you have been oppressed hard, long and hard enough by the system. I just, I'm like, no young people.
• 55:22
  It's like smoking cigarettes. Don't do it, you know, until you're a certain age. Yeah. A lot of this is just so online stuff, or not even, not even new.
• 55:30
  If I said bet, like you said, "Fill out this bracket," and I said, "Bet." What does that mean? Does that mean I agr- I thought it meant I agree. Yeah. It means yes. But that's not current. Okay. You know?
• 55:41
  Now, have you talked about, you know, the Roman Empire thing? Have you, like- No, I'm aware. Is that just things people are interested in?
• 55:50
  So it was a couple years ago as far as I know, that someone online was like, someone was, did a thing about do you know how often the average straight white man or the average straight man thinks about the Roman Empire?
• 56:01
  And I guess, like, someone found a sample size of men who think a lot about the Roman Empire and perhaps, like, implications today.
• 56:07
  But it became mainstreamed enough that it's like when you are always focused on something or it's always bothering you, that's your Roman Empire. So it's a really- What's your Roman Empire, Claire? Oh my God.
• 56:20
  I don't know. Dying parents, like aging parents. [laughs] It's real fun shit. I don't know. He, I don't have a good answer to that one. I, nothing good.
• 56:28
  Like, I, I was telling my friends, I was like, "Steve's Roman Empire for a long time was AI," 'cause he was always worried about AI, and now it's here, and I think he needs like a new Roman Empire.
• 56:36
  Can we pause everything? Mm-hmm. Steve's commercial was so great. Ah. Thank you. It was so cute. I was like, what's he gonna do with the penny? It, the whole thing was so great.
• 56:46
  I gave birth to the star, and he- How is the star taking all of this? Like- He, he's- In his stride? Well, he gets to miss a day of school to shoot this commercial for Field Notes. This is what Quinn is referring to.
• 56:57
  Yeah. Yeah. We'll link to it in the show notes. In the show notes, 100%. Ingaroli was born to play as a boy who likes to chew gum, and he got to miss a day of school.
• 57:05
  But Steve told, showed the teacher the finished product, and the teacher was like- Okay... "This is great. Can I show it to his classmates in class?" And Steve said yes.
• 57:13
  And I guess all the kids were excited and calling him a celebrity, and they wanna make his, like his posse, like his entourage now. And one kid, Jack O, said his job will be to hug James when he's feeling sad.
• 57:25
  So he's doing well. That's the type of masculinity I'm signed up for, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, I saw it and I was like, "This is adorable." Well, thank you. Yeah. When was- Most of these are so obvious.
• 57:36
  Like, if someone crashes out, what does that mean? Gets upset? Pub- like a public meltdown, like losing- Oh, public... control over something. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you can crash out. Yeah.
• 57:46
  Like I can't say, "Oliver, go crash out in your room by yourself." I don't want that around here. Well, no.
• 57:50
  Crashing out is like, a funny example is that, going back to my college boyfriend who, I don't know why he- You're real fluent today. Yeah.
• 57:58
  They, I told my kids once, and this was more of like a cautionary tale about how I played miniature golf with him once and I beat him, and he reacted poorly and had a little temper tantrum.
• 58:09
  And I told my boys that story as an example of what not to do. And I referred to hi- this boyfriend like sometime later, and my son said, "Oh yeah, is that the guy who crashed out over the miniature golf game?"
• 58:20
  I was like, "Exactly." So- Okay. That's a good example. All right. I will keep that in mind as my dictionary definition. Yeah. And then a lot of these otherwise are like not...
• 58:30
  I feel like, you know, touch grass, you know what that means. I feel like we've talked about that, right? Covered touch grass. Yes. Come on. Um, you know- Stand in a hotel made of plants. Right.
• 58:38
  Mid, you know what that is, right? Average, right? Yeah. On grades. Underwhelming, you know, I would say. Interesting. Um, one I don't say, I've, but I've seen it online, say less. You know that one? I do. Yeah.
• 58:52
  Like, I'm already convinced. Yeah. And yeah, it means got it, basically. Or say no more. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Yeah, the other one's, other one is these you'll see, but like you'll be so...
• 59:03
  Again, it'll make you sad, 'cause you'll be like, one is like main... Oh, this is so AI, I just realized. It says main character energy.
• 59:09
  Yeah, take a look at this later, but it is, it'll make you both feel like on top of your game, but also being like, I'm sad for anyone who thinks this is like new information.
• 59:19
  I don't, like, you know, again, it's every since and dance now.
• 59:22
  [laughs] I'm coaching Henry's 910 team, and I knew where I was being egregious about it, but we were talking about the positions on the baseball field at their first practice the other night.
• 59:34
  And I said, and I was saying how in a sc- this is obviously so far beyond a bunch of nine, 10-year-olds, how when you take score in a score book, each of the positions has a number, and I made a six, seven joke.
• 59:45
  And they were like upset. Oh. Not because I was like invading their territory, more that they were like, "No one has done that. Like, why would you even say that? Is that even funny?" Yeah.
• 59:58
  Have you heard of this new show Friends that just came out? By the way- Mm-hmm... speaking of ESPN, do you know there's a guy on Vanderbilt who pl- whose name is Chandler Bing, and his parents did not...
• 1:00:07
  And he's Black, or I presume he's Black.
• 1:00:09
  He's, we've got, he's not white, and I know that a lot, most, like Black, wh- Friends was a white thing, so I can absolutely believe that there's like a Black person who's like, "I just happened to name my kid Jerry Seinfeld.
• 1:00:20
  It's not my fault that a different world." I saw a guy who was playing on a team last night, a, a white or a Latino guy who was very tall, and they showed his nicknames.
• 1:00:30
  One was Cream Abdul-Jabbar, and the other one was Milk Chamberlain, which I thought was... You know what? You want so- something crazy?
• 1:00:40
  My friend, I have a friend who was an orphan by the time she got to college, and her stepmother, she had to get independence from her stepmother, and her stepmother had been Wilt Chamberlain, one of his, you know, 100 point- One of, one of them...
• 1:00:54
  hundreds of women. Yeah, on the list? Well, yeah. Wow. Okay. Yes. Yeah. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. I'm excited to watch this. Excited to watch this documentary.Yeah. No, it's, I mean, it's really interesting.
• 1:01:05
  Like, this guy's the way... I guess other people know this documentarian more. I don't know him that well. He has a very interesting touch where he is, like, kind of neutral, sort of skeptical. Like, he...
• 1:01:17
  And these guys are so... They know what it- Are these guys self-aware? Are they aware of what's- Like, sometimes. I mean, he'll be, he'll sort of... They'll say something like, "I'm not monogamous, but my wife is."
• 1:01:29
  And he'll be like, "What does that mean?" And then the guy will be like, "Uh-oh, you're trying to get me in trouble." It's like, "No, bitch, you got yourself in trouble," you know?
• 1:01:36
  Like, "Cool, just tell me what it means." Yeah. And there's a lot of that. Or he'll be like, "You don't really mean that." And then these guys get really defensive and...
• 1:01:43
  You know, again, to me, I don't think about masculinity that much, but there is nothing really ma- that masculine, like, walking around with a camera all the time like this.
• 1:01:54
  Like, that is not a thing that to me is what, that's what a real man does, you know? What does a real man do? That's not that, like that. But again, I'm just a...
• 1:02:03
  I cross, I'm on the line between mom and nun for these guys, so I know my opinion doesn't matter, and that's fine.
• 1:02:09
  But I gave Paul a real yelling at last night, 'cause we were on the way home from dinner with our friends. I paid for dinner. I had just bought him a new box of clothes. Mm-hmm.
• 1:02:18
  And my friend and I were talking in the car, and I started laughing loud about something stupid. And Paul's like, "Mom, it's not that deep," or whatever, another, you know, another slang.
• 1:02:27
  And I was like, "Are you la- are you telling me not to laugh hard?" And then later, and the, I did a drive-by at bedtime. I was like, "You know what?" Perfect. "Like, I do everything for you, and I do, I get nothing."
• 1:02:39
  And I was like, "I'm allowed to laugh, and I'm allowed to have a good [laughs] everyone to-" He's just brushing his teeth. He was watching TV with Steve, you know. And but I'm sure he, I'm sure really would... I made him
• 1:02:52
  A semi-justified drive-by, though. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Yeah. I'll give you points for that one. And I allow for teenagerdom. I understand.
• 1:03:00
  Which is like a picture of me trying to take a picture with Paul, and he walked off camera, so there's just a picture of me. Like, but he...
• 1:03:08
  There is a fine line between, like, you can be a teenager up until the point where you are, like, actually really fucking, like, treating me like shit, you know? Like, you can treat me like shit- Oh, 100%...
• 1:03:18
  to a certain level. I don't know exactly where the level is, but, like, we find it sometimes. Does... Not to call him out here, but does Steve defend you if that happens, if he overhears it all?
• 1:03:27
  Yeah, he said, "How could you do that to your mother?" [laughs] Nothing... That, to me, is what a real man does, is defend his wife against his mean-ass kid. Oh, yeah. I will. Excellent.
• 1:03:40
  And I try to make, remind my children that I'm the bad cop all the time- Mm... and that Mom's the good cop. And, like, they have no business whatsoever at ever giving her shit about anything. I will- We were-...
• 1:03:52
  I will My friend Christine and I were joking about, we were sort of clowning someone online who was talking about how she and her husband were texting about the great sex they'd had the night before.
• 1:03:59
  And I was like, "I would never text my husband about sex we'd had." And we were laughing about, we were saying, like, these are the things we would find hot if our husband texted us.
• 1:04:07
  If he said, "I'm taking the boys somewhere awesome for hours," and then she had a, a wet, like a liquid emoji and a, an eggplant emoji. And I said, "Mine is, 'I'll put them to bed,' and then whip, like, emoji."
• 1:04:22
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