Latest / Pod Therapy / #374: Neurodivergent Grief, Narcissistic Mother, Emergency Care

Transcript

#374: Neurodivergent Grief, Narcissistic Mother, Emergency Care · Pod Therapy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I like that, does anyone have any questions? Nope, nope, And.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Then I typed in wildmye on YouTube and while my
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: intargently weaves as the first they.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: Money type that says, that's when I peek.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you got to write into a different show from
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: fabulous Las Vegas. No mat of this is pod therapy,
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: real people, real problems, and real therapists. You can submit
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: your questions anonymously at pod therapy dot net or email
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: us at pod therapy guys at gmail dot com. And
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: now broadcasting from the churn, that's Jim. That's win me
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: on next time for some pod therapy. Well, hello Frans.
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: If you would like to figure out which soundtracks had
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: the greatest showing in the box offices throughout history, check
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: us out patreon dot com. Slash Therapy can also hear
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: about my new culinary adventures Nick killde guy. Yeah, which
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: I think we're all all.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: I think we're all on the same page.
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: But I've never been more proud of you, an none
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: of us disparaged you. I support jail for you or
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: anything like I'm gonna go to jail. Yeah convicted, Yeah
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: that's true. They let this one walk. The cops don't
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: even arrest. I think they're just like, no, he said, what.
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: Plan some drugs on him self defense? Just put this pistols.
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: That guy was thinking about having a gun. I can
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: see it on them.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: Patroon dot com slash therapy. You can hang out with
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: us before the show and support mental health. It is
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: very appreciated. But we have got some great questions as
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: we kick ourselves into March, and before we even kick
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: off on this. If you've been thinking, boy, I sure
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: do want to play in sports betting against the host
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: of pot Therapy patroon dot com slash time.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: Do we need to reference any gambling addiction, you know,
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: like they do?
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Our problem, not our problem. There's no gambling. We keep
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: all of the money. That's right. There's no gambling on Aria,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: that's right.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: Join our what are we calling it? Mad March neists,
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: Come join our mad March nests patron dot com, slash therapy. Smitty.
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: By the way, if you're listening, fire up that thing again.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: We should really run this by him first before.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: He finds out Hell, yeah, we're still doing that.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Never stops listening. I think, yeah, just keep fun of
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: the show.
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: Smith, he's so baked it At this point, he's like, whatever,
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: it's on auto pay. But yeah, check that out patroon
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: dot com slash therapy. You can join our bracketology. I
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: think selection Sunday is March sixteenth.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: Oh, put my calendar.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: I'm smoke these hosts again and eat for free. Putting
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: it in her hobbies calendar. Yes, I need these numbers.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: He doesn't watch basketball. It's a problem. I just think
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: he's got a good I just picked a bunch of
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Texas teams last time and did not do me. Well, shit, I.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Think it did. You just find Yeah, I thought it
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: was working great for us.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Isn't like football. We got to log in at the
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: same time. I don't remember last year. Then it's due
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: March sixteenth.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: No, so on the sixteenth is when we can select
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: the teams.
• 3:15
  Speaker 5: So they're going to select the teams in the tournament.
• 3:18
  Speaker 5: We don't even know who's around yet. We also don't
• 3:20
  Speaker 5: know that it's the sixteenth.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: I don't.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's entirely based on Jim shouting words and microphone
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: So March sixteenth. Hey, this gay words and the microphones
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: and they happen sometimes. Broken clocks, man, you get a whim. Anyway,
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: we got some great questions. We're kicking off the show
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: today with getting help with ADHD and autism from Serena. Hello,
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: Pod therapy crew. My name's Serena. Pronouns are she and they.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: Longtime listener thanks to ice cream Social Hey, Hey, and
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: first time writer. I have a query about grief and
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: grief processing for those who are neurodivergent. I apologize if
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: this has been asked before, or I haven't had a
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: spoons slash energy to look into it. Okay, I don't
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: know what spoons whatever. It's a British thing. I think
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: a bit of background. I am a professionally diagnosed with
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: ADHD and a peer experienced family member diagnosed with CPTSD
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: and is autistic. On top of that, recent work stress
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: and a few things in life happening all at once,
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: nothing bad, just busy to coordinate have pulled what little
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: focus I have. I am currently not ADHD medicated, but
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: working on it with pretests and waiting for my next
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: psychiatrist appointment. To add to the recent busy times, my
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: mom has dropped the news that soon tomorrow. As of
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: writing this email, we're putting our family dog to sleep.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: Oh she's an older large breed dog who is now
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: affect with cancer for a third time in her life,
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: and we don't want to draw it out painfully. I
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: know that with my particular mental health circumstances and conditions,
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: my emotions and thought processes can be different than most,
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: even compared to others with ADHD, So I'm seeking advice
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: about how those with ADHD, autism and or c PTSD
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: perceive and feel grief, and advice on ways to help
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: process it. I'm mostly seeking information about if there are
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: things I should expect that are different to the usual
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: grieving process so I can better care for myself in
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: this stressing time. So far, I've cried twice on two
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: different days, but over the past three days I've been
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: a bit numb about it. Had a reduction of focus, motivation,
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: and less physical skills, dropping things more often, handgrip issues,
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: typing errors. I know it will hit harder later, but
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: I have a touch of clarity now to seek advice.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: I understand this will be a bit after the peak
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: of this event, but your insight will still be a
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: big help in caring for myself and reminding myself to
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: be kind to my mind and heart. Thank you all.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: For your wealth of knowledge and great humore, I believe
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: is how that word's pronounced, yeah, human or thank you
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: you it's a Texas word. And hume hour and spirits
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: that you share every week regard serena.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Of the spirits.
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: Oh, okay, we do share them, Yeah, you share them liberally.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: That's like a question talking about neurodivergence and how things that,
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: even like grief, we constantly talk about as a society,
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: how people grieve differently, and we try and really highlight
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: that and respect that in each individual. But this is
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: kind of an interesting thought to say, like if my
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: mind naturally functions differently in my regular life, day to
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: day life, we add in grieving some of the things
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: mentioned like being preoccupied, which causes her to like bump
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: into things.
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: I like that.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: I like interesting, Yeah, and very associated with just eighth
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: just nerd neurodivergence in general, like when we are kind
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: of preoccupied, Sure that would increase through.
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: I think that's of grieving generally. You know, I feel
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: like I've seen something about grief having sort of like
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: a depreciating effect on cognitive ability just overall, Like if
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: you were to take an IQ assessment or just try
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: to perform like hand eye coordination skills or whatever. I
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: think there's a dampening, yeah, because it's such a whole
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: body and physical and emotional experience, you know. I just
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: feel like it takes you down a whole bunch of points,
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: you know, on what you can actually perform.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I do too. As far as the ADHD side,
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: what are your thoughts hours, don't do that. Don't do it.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: I'm just kidding to do it.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: At the end of it, Jim just goes, gotcha, you
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: don't have it. You're fine, you don't have it.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: That's a surprise at the end slash test. But I
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: have found a lot of times with clients who have
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: an ADHD diagnosis that they kind of rebound through difficult situations.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: I won't say better faster, but just differently, and it
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: kind of sometimes seems a little bit quicker or a
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: little bit more often they're more in that normal, like
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: their normal headspace, rather than neurotypical clients who really are
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: processing heavily those things. I don't know, I don't want
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: to see based.
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: On the similar things study patients on the spectrum you
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: know which ADHD is, you know, But autism was mentioned
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: in the letter as well. Grief being different, you know,
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: and that's not to say that it's just numbed out
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: or it doesn't exist. I've seen it be very acute.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: I've seen it be you know, almost like you might
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: consider it wrong sized a little bit, and and sort
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: of like that person's honing in on their emotions and
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: the emotions are just overflowing the cop right, and like
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: sometimes it's like they just do not have enough space
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: for that, and it's it's just overwhelming. And so every
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: human is this way. Every human's difference, So we shouldn't
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: and categorize really, because I take three humans without any diagnoses,
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: and one of them is gonna ugly cry, one of
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: them is gonna sit there stoically absorbing what's happening, and
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: the other one's you know, the porridge is the right temperature.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: So yeah, it kind of depends on how you feel,
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: like how you feel big emotions.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Have you ever had to put down a pet?
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: Uh? Not really you have to?
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, my mom came in put a knife on
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: the table and said one of you walks out.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: They say, like, if you if you get to the
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: point where you realize, okay, I need to put the
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: pet down, that it's probably past that time that you
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: needed to. And that's why Whitney kills all her animals
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: at six months, right, because it's bold her. Once you
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: lose that puppy cuteness.
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: That's why she has all those fur tea cozy just
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: all over her house.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: Those really and that beautiful Dalmatian jacket that she's always
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: wearing throwing around.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: No, there's two little things I want to say to that.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: One is that we always had cats grow up. We didn't.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: We had a dog for like a second, and my brother,
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: who is Adhd, would like leave the door open and
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: the dog like got hit by a car, so like, yeah,
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: that's one way. So then we're like, all right, no dogs.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: But our cats were always kind of indoor outdoors, so
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: they would just not come back a lot of times. Right.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: There was one time, though, this is why you asked,
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: we had the only cat that I hated. Oh my gosh,
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: this cat would like literally try and swipe at you
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: at the top of the stairs. She tore up all
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: our furniture. Our babysitter when we were young brought her
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: over and basically said, oh, talking to my mom, Cathy,
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: you love cats, like, we'll just leave her here. And
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: then we had a cat and she was just not
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: a very nice basically, it was not our choice. We're like, okay,
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: well she's here now. So she started body.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: Has been inhabited by Satan.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, so. And I loved all of our other cats.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: We had amazing cats growing up, and all of them
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: mysteriously written. But this cat had like a lump and
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: my mom.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: A lot of a cat foisted on someone before. Yeah.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: No, She's like, look I found her in here, and
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: you've got a cat. My mom's like, y'all met her
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: on here. She's a little bit of a pushover and
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: I love her. But she's like yeah, and she loves animals.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: She's like great. Turned out to be crazy. Well, so
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: then we had her for many years and she started
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: getting these lumps, and so my we took her to
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: the vet, and I guess they had told my mom,
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: because I was in high school at the time, that
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: she needed to be put down. And so my mom
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: made the appointment and said, hey, Whitney, will you take
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: me to the vet? I know I could drive so sick.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: Well, you were.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: Get the cat under the arm.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: This is fine, everything's fine. The window does a lot
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: about meat, the psychopathy, just kidding.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's all that's the thing.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: It's what was it Ghostbusters?
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: So I did take that cat and I teared up
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: when I let her go, but it wasn't super hard.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: And our cat now, oh my gosh, we still no. Okay, no,
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: that was easy. Just a tear fell well.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Tear tear trup sorry mitten.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but no, our cat now, Peter and I have
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: had for I think we're at eleven or twelve years,
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: and it was an adult cat, so she's probably like
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: thirteen or fourteen, and so now we'm like, we're gonna
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: be like, so fucked, she goes, it's gonna be hard.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: So so yeah, that's my tangent for you. But I
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: have put one cat down and I got one tear
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: shed for her sixteen. But I feel like it's hard
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: to emphathize and dogs. That's a different relationship. I will
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: say that I haven't experienced it. It's kind of like
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: having kids. I haven't experienced it, and I know there's
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: there's a connection there. I will never understand.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: Not the same.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: You're not allowed to put down kids.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it depends on what county you're in.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: Jail, right, you know what, I retract, But.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: I feel like dogs they have such a and I
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: love my cat and I know she has a personality.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: I want to get credit for all the jokes I
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: just didn't make. Just yeah, no, I just want to
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: get credit for the jokes.
• 13:34
  Speaker 5: No, no, no, there a lot of about half of
• 13:40
  Speaker 5: them involved abortion laws.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: There was a lot.
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I saw your eyes just say yeah, so like that, Jacob.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: It was like whenever Neo's like learning kung fu, you
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: just like you see his eyes jittering back and forth,
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: Like that's what was happening. Pages of data was being
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: scripted out of Jacob's AI jokes a lot about Texas. Yeah,
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: you were saying, you want to old yell.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: Or a dog?
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty much. No, with dogs, I imagine that there
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: is they just give you, They love give you so much.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: The love that dog has is the only, I believe,
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: the only form of unconditional love.
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's pretty up there.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: That a dog has, because like even people who are
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: terrible to their dogs, that dog, you know, and like
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: that is like.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: Truly toxic relationship.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean I've I've had to put a dog
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: down and it sucks. It is absolutely terrible. And the
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: thing that I wasn't prepared for because I've a landed
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: to do it once. And the what I wasn't really
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: prepared for is and I think maybe because I had
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: another dog at the time, but like, it was incredibly
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: difficult and it's probably the saddest I've ever been. But
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: then I bounced back pretty quickly because I had that
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: other dog that I had kind of had to step up.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: Like if there's just a hole there and nothing there
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: to fill it, Jacob, than like, then what do you do?
• 15:13
  Speaker 6: You know, it's tough, and I'm not your puppet.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: We'll see, I mean, writer, here's the thing I say,
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: And I don't think it's necessarily I don't think it's
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: really specific to ADHD. And that's where it's difficult to
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: give you any kind of real feedback on this because
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: people experience grief just in a million different ways, So
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: it's hard to say, like, this is how someone with
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: ADHD will experience it. It's really hard to do that.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: I will say that like one of the best analogies
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: that we've ever come across, and both Jim and I
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: I have mentioned this in the on the show is
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: that cartoon. Yeah, of like, you know, this a room
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: and then there's like on the wall, there's this button
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: and it says grief and when you press that button,
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: and that's when you feel that grief. And inside this
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: room is a giant ball and when the event first happens,
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: that ball is huge, it's inflated. It's the size of
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: the room. So it's just constantly pressing up against that button.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: And over time that ball gets smaller and smaller, but
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: it's still bouncing around the room and occasionally it's going
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: to hit that button and it's not you can't predict
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: when it's gonna happen. Yeah, it's just gonna feel completely random.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: There's gonna be one thing that just reminds you of
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: your pet, and it's just gonna and it's just gonna
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: trigger it. But over time, with with healthy coping is
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: this thing gets smaller and smaller. It happens less frequently frequently,
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: but it's never gonna go away. Yeah.
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: I love that metaphor. We had to put our dog
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: down I think it was last year, and uh and
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: that you know again, it was like a long term pet.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: I mean we had this dog for like twelve years
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: or something to that effect, and yeah, you know, it
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: felt like enough. Yeah, it just felt like enough.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: I was over it.
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was definitely time. And it's always scary because
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: like when the doctors tell you, yeah, she was doing great,
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: she just won the derby, Right, it's all downhill from here, pumpkin,
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: you gotta go. So yeah, I mean when the doctor
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: tells you it's tough, you know, because it's already too late.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: And I mean for us, it, yeah, it was. It
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: was losing a family member. It was the first death
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: we had ever suffered as a family, and you know,
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: for the kids and us, it was just such a
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: big deal.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: It was.
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they had all grown up with the dog and
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: so like it was just yeah, devastating. And you know,
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: I like what you said, Nick, because yeah, you know,
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: I think that it's it. I want to normalize that
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: people with the lived experience of neuro divergence may notice patterns,
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: you know, that they experience big emotions differently, and that
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: I've definitely heard people say that sometimes they feel like
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: they're not connecting to the moment, and sometimes they feel
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: like other people are all experiencing a similar emotion and
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: they don't feel connected to whatever is in the room
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: right now. They might misread it, you know, and like
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: just try to cheer people up or speak to them,
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: and they're not connecting with just letting people grieve. So
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: I've heard that, but again I don't know that I
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: love utilizing that as a stereotype to say this is
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: typical for that population. I agree, it doesn't feel like
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: a hand in glove kind of thing. So writer, the
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: truth is, we just want you to have those basic
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: understandings of grief.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: Nick's metaphor of the ball I think is very true.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: We have these stages of grief we often talk about
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: where there's kind of a time of denial where it
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: doesn't feel like it's true or that it's really going
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: to happen. Usually we go through a time of bargaining,
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: especially with putting pets down, where we think, oh, this
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: can be avoided, some eleventh hour decision is going to
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: be made, or something's going to come back, and oh,
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: we can still save this dog. It's not going to
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: have to happen right now, we can still punt on this.
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: Then you're going through that depression, you know part. There's
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: usually some kind of anger part and anger usually isn't
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: you know, at anybody, but it is the short temperedness,
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: the sense of urgency, this frustration and like irritability. You know,
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: people are just trying to talk to you about it,
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: and just like, get away from me. I don't want to
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: talk to you. And so you go through all these phases, friend,
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: and then eventually you'd get to that place of acceptance.
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: And you know, we've all been through it. And I'm
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: sorry to hear about this, but I guess I just
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: want you to give yourself permission. You know, you talked
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: about giving yourself permission to love your mind and love
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: your heart and allowing yourself to experience your truth. And
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: I think this life event that you're going through is
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: going to reveal to you how you are in grieving.
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: My life event revealed that to me, I mourned more
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: from my dog than I had any grandparent you know
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: that I had lost.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: I was going to say that too, I know the
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: same thing.
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, shit, oh waking that high ground. She ain't
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: that high ground.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: I loved my grandparents.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know it's wrong with you.
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: I just liked our grandparents crying when the grandpa died.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: But because I had the old Yeller room outside of
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: the bar.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do this. No, I didn't lose
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: my grip though I finished the fights.
• 20:23
  Speaker 7: I finished the job. Well, it's greatest, but it's what wanted. Yeah,
• 20:29
  Speaker 7: it was in his will, but I know you couldn't
• 20:38
  Speaker 7: do it.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: You were weak. You're always you take after your mother.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: You fly that mother. That woman was never good enough
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: for my son. We can't air this episode. No, we
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: should probably just go to the bar. I think he
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: called this one anyway.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: Writer, I think we've given you a lot of feedback.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: I feel like we've accomplished or not doing something today.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: It's gonna be something's first episode.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't think of a good one, though, is it?
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: It's not this one?
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: I don't know if not now when I'm dude, it's
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: a brand. They get it or they don't. We're taking
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: a quick break and when we come back, we're gonna
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: talk about guilt trips from my narcissistic parent. You're listening
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: to pup Therapy.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is brought to you by Spitty Scoop, Mason Miller,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: Tess Miller, Biler, t Harris, Team Monaco, Oscar Swanro's Hannah, Marie,
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: Emma Kane, and Myra And if you would like to
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: sponsor the show, you can become a Thera producer at
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: patreon dot com slash therapy. Thank you everybody for supporting
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: the show. Here we go.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: What was that one from That's Gotta be in? Well,
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: I don't know, you know what, there's been some other
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: movies in there that I thought.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Really, you know, I just want to say, really quick,
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: to the movies you watch today, they don't put any
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: modern music in it, and it's annoying going back and
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: watching movies from the nineties. It's fun to hear a
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: song that you recognize, and now they're all just like
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: the music. So yeah, that's my complaint.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Noted.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: Thank you for saying that.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: Ferris Bueller, what nailed it? Why I was singing in
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: the parade?
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, trivia this week? Thank you, Emma? Thanks maybe eightiesoo Okay.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: Well, we're at a disadvantage.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: These are multiple choices. Even us young people are at
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: a real disadvantage here. You want you want to you
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: want to try.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: No, let's not.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: I don't want to buzz in. It's hard to do
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: that way. We will allow but it's multiple choice. Buzz
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: you want to do buzz buzz. It doesn't have to
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: be multiple choice. Maybe just not read the choices. Okay,
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: here we go. Which legendary Michael Jackson album released in
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: nineteen eighty two, became one of the best selling records
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: of all time. Thriller. Okay, let's see I should highlight
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: I should have buzzed it at eighty two. I knew
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: it as soon as he said eighty two.
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: Okay, shake it a baby now.
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: Thriller.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: Which toy and cartoon franchise featured Prince Adam, who transferred
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: it he man in the Master Universe.
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: Yes, Samon.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: A man? Which group of pizza loving reptiles on my jacket?
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: I was gonna ask you about that.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: The jacket was cool when you first bought it. It
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: was like until you put a whole bunch of new patches.
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: Love them.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: It's like it's like it looks like it looks like
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: the type of jacket a Navy seal would wear until
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: you put the tea mutant.
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: And the other one says certified silly goose.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: I like it?
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, nice, very nice.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: Okay, how many of these do I have? Because I
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: think I'm nothing, we'll do. We'll do one more.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: We might need to take turns just so we have
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: a chance.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: Which uh.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: Buzz, even if I don't know, and then set first which.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: Soft soft sculpture dolls each kids? Buzz is that the.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: You gotta play about the.
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: Moles separates from the animalsous?
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: Well, technically Jim did when Nick had it read it right?
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know you answer the question. You didn't buzz.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: No, he said, buzz while.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: Before you read it, and I waited for the question
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: for technical early buzz.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: He stops reading the questions.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: That's fair, okay, all right?
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: Was that all of them?
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: For all?
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: Get the other one later?
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: Guilt trip from my narcissistic parent. My mom and I
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: have a contentious relationship, to say the least. I've decided
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: to institute office hours with my mom. I love that
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: so that she has two windows each day when she
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: knows that if she wants to call me, she can
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: and I will likely answer. So it's eight to eight
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: thirty am and five to five thirty pm. That window
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: is really smart. Got a thread, which is when I'm
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: in the car with nothing better?
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, every day, every day.
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: That would be that we have a heart out. Yeah,
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: all right, Well I'm here.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: That is when I make all of my personal phone calls.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: Is in the car.
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: No, it's weird. I never get anything. Yeah, must be busy.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well it's not a long enough trip.
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, okay, you do them alphabetically, he gets a jay.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: That's fair.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: Let's start over every day. Yeah, of course we hadn't smoked, smoken.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: We hadn't spoken in a few weeks, which is totally
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: fine by me. And I have a trip to see
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: my aunt, Mom's sister, who has always given me unconditional
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: love my whole life this weekend. Mom called this morning
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: at eight, so I answered. Her tone was so angry,
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: like I had already scorned her somehow. Good morning, Hank.
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: Hi Mom, how's you want? Do you want to do
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: readers theater?
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: Good morning, Hank. Hey Mom, how's it going.
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: No, Hank's a good guy.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: Oh all right, you know what you're firing? Mom?
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: How's it going?
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: There? We go?
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: You never call me, I never hear from you.
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: Well, we are talking right now, aren't we.
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: You know you're always welcome to call.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: Oh, you know, you're always welcome to call.
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: I have Hank. That's pretty good man. Yeah, I think
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: we could start a proving Yeah, do you guys have
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: any openings in the lineup at a ice cream social?
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd probably get a whole two show in there.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Definitely, definitely.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: She hasn't called me prior to today, as you can
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: likely guess. The call itself, though, was just so unsettling.
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: It was almost like she had nothing to say other
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: than to communicate to me with her tone that she
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: was angry at me for not calling her. I asked
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: her what she was doing this weekend? Wait, am I mom?
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: Okay, all right, I'm gonna let you be mom. You
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: know what, let's just read it, okay. I asked her
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: what she was doing this weekend. I asked her what
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: she was doing this weekend? Nothing. I asked her what
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: was going on at work? Not much. I heard from
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: your aunt that you're going to visit this weekend. I
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: wouldn't have known had she not told me. Just wanted
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: to say goodbye before you go, well, have a good trip, Like,
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: what's this guilt trip? Did she just wake up and
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: plot how to passive aggressively tell me that she's angry
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: that I'm not filling her nark up Ah, that's really solid.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: Don't get me wrong. It was still hurtful to hear
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: the raw anger in her voice, but the substance of
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: the call itself was just so strange. The older I get,
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: the less mature she appears to me. From my point
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: of view, Obviously, I want to say.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: Well, Mom, I don't call you because I don't like
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: you at all.
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: But obviously that's very mean spirited, and I'd rather just
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: play nice while being as firm with my boundaries as
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: I can. My theory of everything here is that she's
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: jealous that I'm closer with her sister than I am
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: with her, And she's also likely lonely, being old and
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: not having kids, being tyrannical to having any kids to
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: be tyrannical toward anymore. But those aren't my issues. It's
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: painful each time it comes up, but I'm better off
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: with really strong boundaries in place. My questions are, how
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: can I navigate these types of conversations without feeling so
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: emotionally drained afterward or on edge during? Is there a
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: way to disengage more effectively while still keeping my boundaries
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: firm and letting her know that her anger is misdirected?
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: Can I expect my mom to be this mean forever
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: love Hank not Hill. Unfortunately, Fuck, we messed up. We
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: should have done the Hank Hill boys.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: Even if this isn't Hank Hill. We will offer all
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: of our answers as boom Houer, tell you what.
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: I can't do, Boomhuer, that's a lot of work.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: We had a.
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: Saying to your marriage man.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: We had a client at the place that Jem and
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: I worked where we called him Boomhouer. Yeah, and he was, Oh,
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: he sounded exactly, but did not had never seen the show.
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: Get no clue, no clue that he had been completely.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: Copyright in front. Oh yeah, those higher likeness used.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: They're based on real people.
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: I think actually we violated Hippa just now. I think
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: they just describing him as boom Hoower's Phi. He's like
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: absolutely everybody knows who somebody knows him. It's like, holy shit,
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: they're talking about this guy.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, I love We already said this will
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: love the office hours.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: I love the cup.
• 30:22
  Speaker 5: You're asking if there's a way to disengage more, would
• 30:24
  Speaker 5: you have if.
• 30:26
  Speaker 8: You have down down to six minutes a day possible
• 30:29
  Speaker 8: phone contact, not even a short phone contact, possible phone
• 30:34
  Speaker 8: contact to one twenty fourth of a day per a day.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, right, really.
• 30:40
  Speaker 5: Good disengaged, you could, I don't know, throw your phone
• 30:46
  Speaker 5: out of window.
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: I think writer. I think Hank also lets it ring.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: I don't think.
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: I don't think the answers on the first one, right,
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: like getting ten rings in there and miss the call.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I absolutely think there's something that happened with the
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: aunt telling her that you were coming. Yeah, here's how
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: I process that whole transaction, like from the nark perspective,
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: was yes, very relatable. So she's talking to her sister,
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: she says, you're coming to visit, and she's gonna feel
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: embarrassed that she didn't know where her own child was.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: And when we talk about narcissism, we're talking about a
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: very sensitive ego that gets damaged very easily. So instead
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: of maybe feeling hurt, sure any parent would feel hurt
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: by that and not and instead of just stepping back
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: and saying, oh man, I really didn't like that. I
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: didn't know that. Maybe I should call and talk to
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: my kid and see they just didn't call you. It
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: sounds like or she didn't call you for a while,
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: and then I noticed her saying I or you haven't
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: caught you never call me? That was what she said,
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: you never call me, I never hear from you. Notice
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: she didn't ask why haven't you called me? Why have
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: then I heard from you? And that's because she doesn't
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: want to know the answer.
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she doesn't.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: She doesn't one of the answer also because if she
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: got an answer that she doesn't like, like I don't
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: like calling you, that's also hurt to their ego and
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: they're not in control anymore. And so I feel like
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: you having those boundaries in place, she is trying to
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: circumvent those in some way and still get to you emotionally.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: Which no, I might be like kind of stereotyping based
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: on mother son relationships here, but I do see a
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: lot of times that moms with their children, when the
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: mom is the narc sister has those narcissistic tendencies, they
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: will try and do the guilt trip thing. They are
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: trying to get to you because that is where they're
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: finding their power and control, and when they don't have
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: a lot of access to you, they're gonna take that route, like,
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: oh my gosh, you never call me. You should feel
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: so bad about this.
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: I mean, we all know that Hank is Jewish, right,
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: Like that's really clearly in the letter. Mouskowitz I believe
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: is Hank's last name. This is a Jewish mother move
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: like this is one you never call me. Also New
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: York joke that accent.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, I.
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: Think I think you should.
• 33:12
  Speaker 9: Know.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: I have a financial used your wagon to the wrong start.
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: What did you think was going to happen when you
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: were signing that paperwork?
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: I was actually going to say something very similar to
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: what Whitney said, Well, like like when you don't have
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: a lot of opportunity to express yourself, you have to
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: find you have to bring these opportunities into like you
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: got to make an effort. So it does seem like
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: it's just out of nowhere, because it had to be,
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: because there was no other way for it to come down. Right.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: So I think that that definitely makes sense. I know,
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: I think I will say I think that was probably
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: the most insightful five minutes that we've ever had on
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: the show of pod Therapy. Okay, so excellent.
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: About time, you know what, Yeah, let's.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: Let's air this episode.
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: Okay you want to do just keep it.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: Let's just keep it. I think Whitney is good enough.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: I think Nick and Jim and I can just leave.
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think, oh that's nice.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: I think carry it. I don't know.
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you have to stop.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, stop yellow cord over there.
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: If you ever.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: Had a walkman, it's basically.
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: It's just a tape.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: I wish she had a whole that would be great.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: I mean stops only available. And finally, guys, I gotta
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: change this one out over the eight track.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: Oh, I just had one other tiny thing at the end.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: She's care Yeah, just really quick. When you said you
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: want to know that her anger or let her know
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: that her anger is misdirected, and I don't know that
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: that matters.
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: Right, You can't well, you can't win that argument, right,
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: The point wasn't She's right?
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: And she's not even really angry. She's like hurt and
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: trying to make you anyway.
• 35:16
  Speaker 5: I mean, what the whole phone call is, what this
• 35:18
  Speaker 5: whether this entire phone call is is your is your
• 35:20
  Speaker 5: mother calling you saying I wish we had more communication?
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: Right now?
• 35:24
  Speaker 5: That's there, you know, that's the entire Yeah, that's the
• 35:27
  Speaker 5: entirety of this phone call that you've described. Is your
• 35:29
  Speaker 5: mom is calling and saying, you know, uh, child, I
• 35:33
  Speaker 5: wish we had more communication between the two of us.
• 35:36
  Speaker 5: She's not voicing that very well, and she she's voicing
• 35:39
  Speaker 5: that through anger at everything else. But I mean that
• 35:42
  Speaker 5: is the bottom line. So I mean you're asking if
• 35:44
  Speaker 5: if your mom is just going to be this mean
• 35:46
  Speaker 5: for ever? Uh, And the answer is, you know, maybe maybe, yeah,
• 35:52
  Speaker 5: But I mean that is something that you can work on,
• 35:54
  Speaker 5: and maybe that's something that uh, you know, maybe maybe
• 35:57
  Speaker 5: doing a little therapy session with your mom might help.
• 36:01
  Speaker 5: You might be able to if you don't live close
• 36:02
  Speaker 5: to each other, you might be able to do it
• 36:03
  Speaker 5: via zoom. I like and just say, you know, Mom,
• 36:06
  Speaker 5: I'd love to uh, you know, I'd like to work
• 36:10
  Speaker 5: on our communication, and I'd like to work with someone
• 36:13
  Speaker 5: that can. They can work with two of us and
• 36:15
  Speaker 5: you'll help us talk to each other a little better.
• 36:18
  Speaker 5: And because I think we'd both like to have better
• 36:21
  Speaker 5: communication between.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: The two of us.
• 36:22
  Speaker 5: And you know, I'm tired of hanging up the phone
• 36:25
  Speaker 5: being angry or sad.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: I think that's a good point because it's it's gonna
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: come out. It's going to come out one way or another.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: So you either provide an avenue for that to come
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: out in a manner in which you support, or she's
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: going to find a way to bring this out in
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: some other way.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: Now, you know, like Whitney and I have both worked
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: with really little kids, and I don't know Jim if
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: you have, but you've got a little.
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: Owned two of them, so.
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: So we'll give you. We'll give you a partial credit
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: for that. Yeah, and Jacob's had dogs, So it's all
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: not around children. I'm not allowed around children and I
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: haven't been around that's for the rect. You shouldn't even
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: be around dogs. Not young dogs, allowed around older dogs.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: All right, I guess we can't keep up.
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: So rest of it's just for fun.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: But like it's one of those things like working with kids,
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: you have to understand how they communicate, Like they don't
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: have the verbal the vocabulary and the verbal intelligence to
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: be able to express what's really going on. So like
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: when they get angry or they get frustrated about something,
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: as a parent or as a therapist, you have to
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: understand what is it what's underneath of that, Like, what
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: is the thing that's really driving this behavior? And in
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: a way, it's kind of the same thing with your mom.
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: And I've noticed this too, just like within families that
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: don't communicate well, like people get upset at the person's behavior.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: Well mom did this. Now I'm angry without really understanding, like, okay,
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: but what was The mom doesn't have the ability to
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: really express what's really going on? Right, Once you're able
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: to see below that, then I don't I understand now
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: that I don't have to respond in anger because I
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: can actually address the underlying issue.
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: Right or just accept that. Wow, they're just not capable
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: of it and may not be, especially with narcissism, they
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: may not see that as something they need to try past.
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: Aggressive communication is annoying as shit. Oh you get on
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: the phone and it's like, well you just never call me. Oh,
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: I guess you just tell your aunt everything.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: I get.
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: Well, I wouldn't know. I mean, I just I guess
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't know because you just never call me mom.
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: Would you like me to?
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: No, I mean why would I bother you? You know,
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: you're so busy and it's just like right, it's clear, okay,
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: you clearly chip on your shoulder like that. Shit is
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: annoying as fuck. Now I hate talking. Now, the three
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: of us understand how much that bothers you.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's fine, Okay, I guess we can just reschedule
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: our recording. I don't want to know your schedul.
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: Have you ever seen Dissing your Dog with Will Ferrell?
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: The chef has been taking the night off at the plaza,
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: So I thought tonight would.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: Go with the Alpo because you're a dog.
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that ship is so annoying writer, And like, I
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: do think that one trick and again it's a question
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: of like how much conflict with your mom are you
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: comfortable with?
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: And like I don't want to push you toward that conflict,
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: but sometimes conflict is the way you create that boundary
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: and the way you disarm that kind of communication. Like
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: when people are gonna be passive aggressive, the thing they
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: would really like you to not do is call it out.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: That's what I was about to say, call that ship out.
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: Reach right through it. You know, you reach through the
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: fire and you pull out the wood and you basically
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: just say, hey, mom, you seem to be upset right now.
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: How are you feeling about this? You know, like use
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: a feeling word, tell me how you feel.
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: That is exactly And I'm not going to allow you
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: and just saying I'm not going to allow you to
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: talk to.
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: Me yeah, or tell me your feelings, like we have
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: a relationship, we are family, and look, you know, we
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: tease moms because like they want attention. My kids are
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: gonna outgrow me one day, and I'm gonna wish they
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: call me. Yeah, No, I'm that person. I'm gonna be
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: calling and be like, Hi, are you eating enough? And
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: like I'm gonna be like, oh, you know, I just
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: never heard from you, Like how did your job interview go?
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: You know, like, and it won't be passive aggressive, but
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: it will be like I was kind of hoping to
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: hear about that and I didn't know, and you never
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: called back, and I'm sure you were busy, and but
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: like I get it, and I just think that in
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: that situation, this person is a stakeholder in your life.
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: So I want you to ask, mom, how are you
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: feeling right now? You sound I'm picking up emotions in
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: your voice, but I don't want to jump to conclusions.
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: Can you tell me how you're feeling about what you're
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: talking about that I don't call enough, or that you
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: heard from my aunt that I'm going over her house
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: get the get that on the record, you know, and
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: she says, oh, no, I'm fine with it, I'm fine,
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: and then to say great, well, good, I'm so reassured
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: because I was. Now, yeah, I'm so I was. I
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: was worried there for a second, anyway. I was worried
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: because you were starting to sound like a real bit. Yeah,
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: you sounded like you were really unhappy, which would have
• 41:06
  Speaker 3: been a huge bummer because when I go to my aunts,
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: I'm so happy, and I just I definitely wouldn't want
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: to feel unhappy out the way fire with fire. Why
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: don't you ever call me? Well, I talk to my
• 41:16
  Speaker 3: aunts all the time. I'm sure you guys talk once
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: a week. Can't she update you on what I'm doing.
• 41:20
  Speaker 9: It's a passive aggress off. Yes, yes, that is how
• 41:29
  Speaker 9: you win. But I did tell you I did have
• 41:32
  Speaker 9: a When I.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: Was in graduate school, one of the therapists that was
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: teaching one of our courses use this as kind of
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: an example. Like in one of the things that he
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: would do in his sessions is he would talk about
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: like he would just call it out and just very
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: up front, just like you know what it seems like
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: to me? It seems like, you're bringing this up because
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: you're hurt and you want to talk about it, but
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: you don't have any other way to talk about it.
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: Is that what's going on there?
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: It is?
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: And would just throw it right back and and it
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: just really disarms the person does because then they're just
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: like yeah, yeah, or they have to like deny it,
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: but it puts them in a position. We're denying it
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: now is obvious.
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: It's like a Scooby Doo move. You rip the fucking
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: mascot it, oh Man Wilson, Yeah, that's what was here
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: the whole time. Yeah, I like that idea. Calling it
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: out is a great way to enforce a boundary. It
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: changes the game. This this question of like how can
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: I endure this without feeling discomfort or how can I
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: not feel emotionally drained afterward? Like Jacob said, you've already
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: condensed this down at these office hours, and it is
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: so concentrated and it's like, man, I like that.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: Twenty fourth of every day.
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: I mean, it is so tiny.
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: But here's what it is hard about this. He has
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: opened this window up for her to call. I almost
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: wish it were on him, but I don't know that. Yeah,
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: the agenda for the call, yeah, because then you have
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: more power over that.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: But then it's just not going to do it.
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: I know that's that's kind of but I wonder and
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: your mom wouldn't respect this anyway, most.
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: Your mom wouldn't respect that.
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: Your mama. But I think saying I'll call you and
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: then it be like three months, she's gonna go crazy
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: and be able to do that. So I'm sure that's
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: why you set those hours.
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: I do think that is a good point though, too
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: is I think you know that kind of that boundary
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: kind of has to go both ways, which is like
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: if you say, like, no, the boundary is you can
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: call me between these times, then now you have an
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: obligation to be available during those times too, you know,
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: in the sense that like you can't set a boundary
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: and then they follow the boundary and then you're not
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: in generally right. So if you do say like, okay,
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: you know I can tell this bothers you I will
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: I will call you tomorrow, then you kind of have
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: to do it. Yeah, you know, then you kind of
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: fall through.
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: I like this microdosing mom's strategy, Like, I do think
• 43:57
  Speaker 3: you're taking this in the smallest.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: Gosh, I heard that as like microdosing, like drugging your mother.
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: That's what I mean.
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: It's just checking. I had to call it out to
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: know for sure.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: I guess the other thing too, is like and I
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: don't know, maybe this is just me, but like I
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: kind of when when talking about like how do you
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: manage your own emotions around this? For me personally, like
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: once I figured out the game, my emotions just calmed down,
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: like just settle. Like if I understand someone's manipulative behaviors
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: and I see what they're doing, then it it almost
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: just kind of like takes away the emotion, takes the
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: emotion out of it for me because then I'm just
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: gonna like because then I just see it as a game,
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: and then it's just it's doesn't bother me as much
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: because it's like, well, yeah, this is the game that
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: you play. I see what you're doing. There are no surprises.
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: You're not going to catch me.
• 44:53
  Speaker 3: Off sneaking around. I can see.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So then it's just kind of like it's then
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: it's almost more like I'm watching it as like it
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: audience member, Yeah, yeah, exactly.
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: Is really just but I do think calling it out
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: but also I think to the extent that you can
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: stand it. You asked, is my mom always going to
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: be this mean? And how do I kind of cope
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: with this? I kind of like And I think Jacob
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: mentioned this when he said, Hey, maybe you guys end
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: up in therapy. Everybody drink. But like, I like that
• 45:22
  Speaker 3: argument because I like the idea of saying, mom, sometimes
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: whenever we talk, even though it's brief, I feel interrogated
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: by you. I feel interrogated or accused by you. And
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: every time we hang up, I feel bad about our conversation.
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: And when I feel bad, then I dread the next one.
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: And this is one of the reasons why I've kind
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: of just made myself less available and I take you
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: in these small doses because it always kind of hurts.
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: And I really wish that after I talk to my mother,
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: who I love, I felt excited for the day, I
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: felt better and Mommy, you don't ever make me feel
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: like a good person. That sucks. And that's a therapy conversation, right.
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: So offering that kind of like feedback confrontation, I think
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: does give people perspective. And there's a lot of people,
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: like a lot of your relationships, you just end up
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: like they suck your energy away, or they leave you
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: feeling hurt, or they tease too hard, and like every
• 46:15
  Speaker 3: time you interact with them, they're like teasing a little
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: bit too much, like taking these little shots at you,
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: calling that out, but in a way that's sympathetic to them.
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: It says, Hey, I know you don't mean to do this,
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: but when we hang out, you tease me so much.
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: I think it stops being funny to me. After the
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: second one, it kind of hurts, and like, I just
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: if you would dial it down, like I'd really enjoy
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: hanging out with you more. Framing it that way, most
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: people be like, okay, yeah, well I want you to
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: enjoy this, right, I want you to look forward to it,
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: So that could be an idea.
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: It's a little complicated to hearing that one sentence in
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: there about how she doesn't have kids anymore to be
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: tyrannical too. I'm like, oh, that is just a layer.
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: That's just a layer in there. I think where a
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: lot of the advice given I think from all of
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: us today is kind of very more general, like, oh,
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: you have a difficult parent and that's her to navigate,
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: Like I have a really good friend of mine. Her
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: parent is will like call and kind of be harsh
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: at times, and just calling it out did show tons
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: of improvement because I have kind of a codependent relationship,
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: and so for that kind of generalized, you know, tricky
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: mother child relationship, I think that can be helpful. But
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: when there is a history of maybe like emotional abuse
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: almost when you were a child, that's hard to overcome
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: and say, all right, I'm gonna give my mom the
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: benefit of the doubt, or I'm gonna call it out
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: and say, hey, i'd really like to enjoy our conversations,
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: because I'm sure it sounds like right now you're not
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: really at that point yet maybe where you're ready to
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: tell your mom I want to have a relationship. You're
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: kind of like, I'm just doing this for you, so
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: I don't feel like a shitty son, but I could
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: be run well.
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: And again, like I guess, kind of going back to
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: the joke that we made earlier about therapy, Yes, hey,
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: maybe this is a good starting point, Like maybe you writer,
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: maybe uh, hank th kill, if you haven't already thought
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: about talking to a therapist about this, just to kind
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: of get yourself right, you know, and make sure that
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: your side of the street is kind of clean and
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: where you want it to be before you start working
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: on that relationship. That there's another idea for you. Yeah,
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: pro Paine and pro Paine accessories.
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: We're going to take a quick break in when we
• 48:16
  Speaker 3: come back, when to seek emergency mental health care. You're
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: listening to pod therapy.
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is brought to you by s Minny Scoop, Mason, Miller,
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: Test Miller, Biler, t Paris Team, Manico, Usker, Swan, Roscanna, Maried, Amma,
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: Kane and Myra. And if you would like to sponsor
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: the show, become a therap producer at patreon dot com
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: splash therapy. All right, let's let's go one at a
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: time here, Yeah, why yay?
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: We have a chance to not.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: Have zero Jim. In nineteen eighty four, Apple released a
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: groundbreaking personal computer with a graphic user interface and mouse,
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: famously introduced by a Ridley Scott director Super Bowl ad
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: Ridley Scott directed Super Bowl ad.
• 49:07
  Speaker 3: Which computer was it? The Macintosh? More specific the mac
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: insh it's not the Macintosh. The Macintosh too.
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, I'll give it to you. There you go.
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: It's the Macintosh one twenty eight K. Yeah, two was
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: in there, idiots yikes, twenty eight k. Yeah, it couldn't
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: have been killed. Yeah, it's exactly what it was. Or
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: thousands of dollars. That was fucking big doings. Yeah, alright. Whitney,
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: which nineteen eighty five, John Hughes' teen film brought together
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: the Brat Pack as mismatched high school students spending Saturday.
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: I love them, and it's on every Saturday morning. Yes,
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: I think on USA.
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: Or one of those channels we should have.
• 50:11
  Speaker 3: And will make us another one with just quotes from
• 50:14
  Speaker 3: eighties movies from John Hughes. That'd be great.
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: It would be a good one, okay, Jacob, Yes, it's
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: not your turn. This is the one that I'll all right.
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: Which of these was not a major mainstream eighties fashion trend?
• 50:31
  Speaker 3: How was Greece not in the soundtrack?
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: Tops?
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: That had to be well, but it's like they had
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: their own sound track.
• 50:39
  Speaker 5: It might have been in that because we went, I
• 50:41
  Speaker 5: like surfed through that top one hundred one list, so
• 50:43
  Speaker 5: it might have been in.
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: There, probably, Yeah, school Okay. Which one of these was
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: not a major mainstream eighties fashion trends? All right? Leg
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: warmers okay, shoulder pads, yes, neon spandex low rise jeans,
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: This is easy.
• 51:00
  Speaker 5: I don't remember low rise jeans being a thing in
• 51:03
  Speaker 5: the eighties nineties.
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: Or Okay, Jim, which comedic nineteen eighty four blockbuster film
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: followed a group of eccentric scientists who start a paranormal
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: extermination business in New York City. Gremlin's final Answer correct Yes,
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: also known as Ghostbusters Yeah Yeah aka Whitney, which prime
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: time soap opera known for its luxurious sets in dramatic
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: plotinus plottiness centered on the wealthy Carrington family and Colby
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: families in Denver, Colorado.
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: No, the only two soap operas I know of. Oh wait,
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: we have options? We do because it's either the only
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: two I know of. Our Young and the Restless and
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: Days of our Lives.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: Come on, Texas.
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: That's a soap opera. Oh we're in the eighties. You're right,
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking of later ones. Well, all here options.
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: Dallas, Falcon, Crest, Knots, Landing or Dynasty. I wasn't. I
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: didn't listen to the question at all.
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: It was about somewhere in Denver. So you said, Dallas, Denver, Colorado,
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: Knots Landing Crest knots.
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: Landing Dynasty only as a television dynasty. But I don't
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: know that's luxurious sets dynasty. Correct.
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: Yes, wow, I know it was like that very luxurious dynasty.
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: Jacob released in North America in nineteen eighty five, which
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: the bear I like that, it is not okay? Which
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: home gaming console featured titles like Super Mario Brothers and
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: Legend of Zelda helped revive the US video game industry.
• 52:56
  Speaker 5: That would be the Nintendo Entertainment System correct, God.
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: The original Zelda ruled.
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: We didn't get the We had the Nintendo. Yeah, the
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: NES but I think we had it like years after
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: it came out. Oh yeah, I really wanted the one
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: with the track with the pad.
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: Oh dude, I had that. Well I didn't have it.
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: The rich kid in my neighborhood did. But that fucking awesome.
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 53:20
  Speaker 3: And Duck Hunt Doug Hunts so good. That is a
• 53:25
  Speaker 3: great game, all right? Still tied dead heat?
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: Uh?
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: When to seek emergency?
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: Much attention during that round, but something was to happen.
• 53:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're doing great. Uh when to seek emergency mental
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: health care? Hello, denizens of the Churn, I mean pod
• 53:42
  Speaker 3: Thera peeps, I saw Jim's call for questions, and there's
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: one I've had for a while but didn't really know
• 53:48
  Speaker 3: how to ask. I had a major depressive episode last
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: summer where I was a split second from driving into
• 53:56
  Speaker 3: let's uh trigger warning this thing. Let's get that one
• 53:59
  Speaker 3: out there, where I was a split second from driving
• 54:03
  Speaker 3: into the front of a truck at high speed when
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: my mind said people survived this with broken bodies. That
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: scared me and started a push for medication changes, strong
• 54:14
  Speaker 3: support systems being put in place surrounding work in home issues,
• 54:18
  Speaker 3: and being more open with people that I was struggling.
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: My question is should I have presented to emergency mental
• 54:25
  Speaker 3: health impatient care? What are the signs one should look
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: for with regards to needing impatient mental health support? As
• 54:32
  Speaker 3: I didn't physically harm myself at that moment, is impatient
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: care not needed? I'm fortunate that I wouldn't have to
• 54:39
  Speaker 3: worry about costs. Thank you socialized medicine Anonymous.
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm glad you thought better of that.
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, you're still here.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: I had a client once that did that, obviously survived it,
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: but then was addicted to pain meds because of what
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: had happened. Yes, and then yeah, it just was absolutely
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: it did not make this individual's life better.
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so tricky. Having worked on the insurance side
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: for non socialized medicine.
• 55:20
  Speaker 3: People trust you.
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: Are missing.
• 55:27
  Speaker 3: For all that American money.
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: So the job I did was utilization management for inpatient care,
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: and so we would look at clinical When a client
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: went to the hospital presenting with suicidal risk, we'll say
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: and the hospital said, hey, you're at a high enough risk,
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: we're going to admit you. We're going to send off
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: the request to insurance to request coverage. Now I worked
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: in the medicaid sector, so that is a little different,
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: so I can mostly speak to my experience. But the
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: thing that we look for for qualifying admissions are absolutely
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: if you have thought about a plan and there is
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: intent and they are actually worried you will go and
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: harm yourself seriously or attempt suicide, then that is when
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: they will step in and hold you. Usually they shoot
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: for the seventy two hour mark a three day mark,
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: and that's so they can medicate you or change medications
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: and monitor you and see if it helps. If it
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: helps by the end of that seventy two hours, then
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: they will consider discharging. What should happen is you should
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: have a discharge plan in place. What we see is
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: that can be vague sometimes, so that's not great, and
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: maybe that's a topic for another time. But they are specifically,
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: specifically just looking for are you wanting to hurt yourself
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: or end your life, and they will admit you. What
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: I've seen with insurance not medicaid at times, like when
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: you have like regular insurance here in the US, is
• 57:03
  Speaker 2: that they will try and keep you that full seventy
• 57:06
  Speaker 2: two hours because they're trying to build insurance. And with
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: medicaid where it's like, you know, not wanting to pay out,
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: they will try and get you out within a day
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: or two you have reduced, like say after one day,
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: then they're like all right, I think they're good bye.
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: Like they'll try and get them out at times, So.
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: It seems responsible.
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: It's totally responsible. So yeah, and I've also I remember
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: reading an article about a lady who went in patience
• 57:32
  Speaker 2: and they like would not release her. That was the
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: whole crazy thing. I'll have to look up that article.
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: I just remember very rare, very rare. That is not typical.
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: But yeah, it comes down to kind of that weird
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: insurance stuff. So if you're in a socialized medicine part
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: of the world.
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: Then.
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: Sorry, yeah, poor you. I'm tell you what tastes we
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: get to choose.
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and getting a paper cut. Oh we just got
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: a bill.
• 58:05
  Speaker 5: Uh s J went to the doctor, got some got
• 58:08
  Speaker 5: some blood work done, you know, just routine, routine shit.
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: Uh.
• 58:12
  Speaker 5: And our insurance company had said, make sure they send
• 58:15
  Speaker 5: the stuff to this lab. And we said, oh, okay,
• 58:19
  Speaker 5: uh because and she was like, oh, they usually send
• 58:22
  Speaker 5: it to this lab. This lab doesn't accept all of
• 58:24
  Speaker 5: our payments. Uh, so make sure they send it to
• 58:28
  Speaker 5: this lab because then we cover it one hundred percent.
• 58:30
  Speaker 5: That said the lab, they're gonna send you a bill,
• 58:32
  Speaker 5: and so she like printed out the stuff for the lab,
• 58:35
  Speaker 5: took it in with her, was like, make sure you
• 58:37
  Speaker 5: send everything to this lab.
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: Then a week later we get a bill from the
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: other lab.
• 58:41
  Speaker 5: So, but hold on, now, should I have to pay
• 58:45
  Speaker 5: for that? I feel like I shouldn't have to pay
• 58:47
  Speaker 5: for that. I do have to pay for that, but
• 58:49
  Speaker 5: I shouldn't have.
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: To Yeah, agreed, that is bullshit. Huh.
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: So basically you're just held hostage. Yeah, yeah, because like
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: we have to pay it.
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: I'll just call and say I can't pay it and
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: see what they say.
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: They'll destroy our credit.
• 59:04
  Speaker 2: No if sometimes they'll negotiate.
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: With well, that's true, that's true.
• 59:07
  Speaker 2: The American insurance medical.
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: Systems haggling systems.
• 59:12
  Speaker 5: It works as far as like, because they negotiate with
• 59:15
  Speaker 5: the insurance companies, why not negotiate.
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: With me exactly? All right, good job?
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: No, I think, uh, you know. As far as like
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: when to seek emergency medical help. First of all, writer,
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: I gotta say, I gotta give you props because you
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: you had that thought and you were like, oh, ship,
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: something's wrong, as opposed to yeah, as opposed to just
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: thinking like oh, this is just you know whatever, to
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: be able to be like, oh, yeah, you know what,
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: maybe this is a med medication thing. Maybe we didn't like.
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: Kudos to you for identifying that, because you're one hundred
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: percent right now. As far as emergency medical services, I
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: think that is a great when you like you can't
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: get to your doctor to get you know, to get
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: anything figured out. Worst case scenario, if you just like,
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: if that's the side that you default to and you
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: go there and then it turns out you don't need it,
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: they'll let you know you don't need it, right, you know,
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: there they'll assess you. Yeah.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I should have mentioned that they're assessing and asking
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: the right questions to say, should you be here or not?
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So you don't have to make that decision. You
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: go there and you let them make that decision.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And I think that this is a good example
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 3: because a lot of people wonder what is the difference
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 3: between I'm driving my car and I have this intrusive thought, yes, oh,
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 3: what if I just steer into this, I'm frustrated, I'm
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 3: not looking forward to something whatever, or just I have
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 3: this impulsion. What is the difference between that and like
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 3: what I think the anonymous writer is describing, which is
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 3: like really considering it, you know, and being in the
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 3: grip of larger macro depression and feeling it. And that's
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 3: a big part of it. Like in this case, I
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 3: want the writer to pretty much drive right to a hospital.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 3: Like when you're staring strongly considering this, and then the
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 3: thing that stops you is that I might not be successful.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 3: Go ahead and just take the next exit to the
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 3: nearest hospital or police station. You're going right there, drive
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 3: right up, and it's it's like Whitney said, they will
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 3: conduct the assessment. Now you sit down and you answer
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 3: their questions. What I don't want to see is people
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 3: doing this personal like reflection assessment because they don't want
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 3: to bother anybody or waste anybody's time. Yeah, we have
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 3: jobs for a reason. Come to us. If you think
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 3: that thought you come in.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: Let's play this out.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 5: Let's say you go to the hospital and the doctor
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 5: there they take in, they do the diagnostic whatever assessment
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 5: you said, and they say, you know what, you did
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 5: not need to come in today, and you have wasted
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 5: our time.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 3: How dare you go kill yourself?
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 5: That The worst thing they could possibly say to you
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 5: is you have wasted our time.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: Like, the worst thing they can.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 3: Do is scold you.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 5: Basically and like and also they're not gonna do because
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 5: that's because they're professionals and they're good at what they do.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 5: I want to talk about you in the break room later,
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 5: but that's gonna.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: Be I guarantee they won't even do that because from
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: their perspective, it's it's one more person. If you weren't there,
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: they're going to see somebody. They're getting paid to be there.
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: They're hanging out. They are there, they're they're dealing with it.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 5: If it's like a triage situation and you're there and
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 5: they don't think that you're an immediate danger to yourself.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 5: And somebody comes in and they've just cut their own
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 5: leg off, they're gonna deal with the person who cut
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 5: thrown leg off, like, let them worry about all of that.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 5: And that's my point before these three motherfuckers shocked on.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: Wow, you don't like that, you don't medicine.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 3: But one thing that a lot of people get wrong
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 3: is is kind of what Anonymous is saying here. Some
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 3: people think, well, you shouldn't escalate to that impatient level.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 3: It shouldn't go get help until you're hurting yourself. And
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 3: we look at that and say no, no, no, no no.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 3: By the time you're hurting yourself, it is too late,
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 3: not too late, but late. It's always too late, kaya Mava.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 3: So you know, I just feel like you need to
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 3: be doing this, going to get help for the record.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 5: That the show would better if you had finished the
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 5: whole show with that, and that.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 3: Act just kept the New York Jewish. That's that's Italian.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 3: Now you're getting into like I don't know or it's Mark,
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 3: Marky Mark, I'm not sure where are we going.
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: Get the care. When you think you might need the care,
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: go get to you.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 3: Don't wait until people are you know, people wait until
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 3: they are causing harm to themselves because they feel like
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 3: now it is serious. I was just thinking it. Now
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 3: I'm doing it. Go get help. When you get help,
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 3: to get help.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: If you're doing stuff to get help them to get
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: help all the time. Just do it every day.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 5: If you need to go get help every day, if
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 5: you need to, like, stop by the hospital on your
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 5: way to.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 3: Work, let's stop by the hospital. Let them sort of deal.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: With yes, let they'll fucking deal with it.
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 3: A hospital its free.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: In twenty years of doing this job, I've never had
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 1: a patient waste my time.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: Yea.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: They counselors, yes, staff i've supervised have wasted shit. Podcast
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: hosts exactly.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, that's a given.
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 3: Anyway, writer, we are all very glad for this question,
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: and glad for your success, and glad that you found
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 3: a solution, and glad for your honesty. You know, we
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 3: need questions like this because a lot of people relate,
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 3: and it gives us an opportunity to remind all the
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 3: listeners out there that if they are having these thoughts
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 3: of hurting themselves, if they have means access to ways
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: to harm themselves, and a car is certainly that mean
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 3: if that's something they're thinking about, and if they're starting
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 3: to When we say plans, sometimes people misunderstand that to
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 3: mean this sophisticated like outline of events daytime.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: Like a drawing of it.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 3: That's fine, right, Yeah, we don't need it all to
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 3: be blueprinted out here. It can be what this letter says,
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 3: you know, this sense of like a spontaneous pull that's
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 3: more than just this fleeting, intrusive thought, but is born
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 3: out of sadness and despair and hopelessness. Those things are
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 3: when we say, yeah, go ahead and check in, call
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 3: the emergency hotline, which I believe there it is in
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 3: the United States, not in freedom Land, free healthcare land,
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 3: wherever the hell you live.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: Socialized medicine.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 5: But there's all kinds of things that there. There are zoos,
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 5: any three numbers staying that man, you know, zoom hot lines,
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 5: there's text hot lines.
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: There's all mining.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 3: They can also woman the hot line.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: It's nine eight eight in dose units.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 3: Okay, there it is. Yeah, you always still have this.
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 3: I'm sure Elon's coming for it.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 3: Anyway, we are going to take a quick break, and
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 3: when we are coming back, we are wrapping up the show.
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 3: You're listening to pod Therapy.
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is brought to you by Smitty Scoop, Mason Miller,
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: Tess Miller, Biler, t Harris, te Monico, Oscar Swanros Hannah, Marie,
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: Emma Kane, and Myra. And if you would like to
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: spontsor the show, head on over to patreon dot com
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: slash therapy and sign up to become a therap producer.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 3: There pals, We're doing therap pals.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: That's gotta be infinity. You labeled this therapy. I did
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: label that incorrectly. You are correct, except the outrage was
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: a little and called for. But you're right. Now. You
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: can also text nine eight eight oh yeah.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 5: You can text nine eight yeah, so it's same number,
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 5: text or call.
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, or he could just shout it. I believe. They
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 3: also responded, yea, it is the first episode of.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: I declared it.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 3: It was indeed declared it. If it's the first week of
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 3: the month, is when we think all the folks who
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 3: are at the therapod level and up at patreon dot com,
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 3: slash Therapy, who make our show possible? Praise be upon
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 3: all of these fabulous people like Sam Cone University, Jeff
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 3: Robert Paulson, Polygon, Richard Bruins, Lynda Brandmeyer, Scoopture Not, Joseph Bengrazio,
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 3: Corey Owens, Christine Phillips, Grevin Bristow, Bristow Yep Nailed It,
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 3: Carrie Ti Heart, Kiwi Fruit, Scoop, Ticket EV Podcast, James K. Craig, Little,
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 3: Don Door, Jim Hunter, scoop Atron, Todd Canfield, Felicia Butler,
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 3: David Sorensen, Shayla Bullock, louren Izzo, Adam Petaluzzo, Matt's Lendegren,
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 3: scoop Itter, Ascending, Lee Popsicle, Ian Soto, Jessica ciphers That,
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 3: Josh Guy, Mom and Ninja Scoop, James Dawson, Sarah Olo,
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 3: Grumpy Lake, Mead Park Ranger, Sam Buck, Karen McCulloch, What Weekend,
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 3: Some Nobody, Lila Bgay, Do Crimes, Kelly Gagner, Nippy, Brian Emra,
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 3: Matthew Johnson, Alec Lancaster, j D cong Congden, a Literal Pickle,
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 3: Matthias Wait Nope Eddadra, Molina, Matthias Van de Bramt, Julius Cappel,
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 3: Max The Ginger, Scoop, Ken Tinsley, Chimist, Protecting Scoop, Smells Funny,
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 3: Matthew Cubic, Chad Chad The Safety, Lad Walker, Fluke Stacy,
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 3: Philip Guiton, Tim Mystery Almost Doctor Nurse, Joey Duffy, The
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 3: Slowly Getting Their Therapist Bear, Joe McMillan, Christopher de Gersey,
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 3: Kirka Grim, Churisha Ortiz, Chris Conway, Melissa Lgeisler, Kirsten Johnson,
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 3: DJC Worked, Mississippi Hippie, lis Al Kuber, Scott, A, Freie Lawson, Fifi, Eli,
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 3: Heather w Patty Glad, Kyle Todd, Ve, Anthony Camarada, David Williams,
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 3: Kate Police, Keronipillar, Frontastic, Buddy Dobbins, Eric Dyer, Glitch Scoop,
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 3: Nathan Mookie, Alda Balaize, bug Nuts, Steven Landon, Adam Blaz,
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 3: Kenneth Wong, John Finleayson, Mysterious, Analyid kJ Carmen Perry, Mister
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 3: pof K, Pizzledazzle, Robert Cole, Temporary Reality, Jeff R. Darnell,
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 3: jamiebi Persephone Hazard, Jacob Hurt, Sinstium, Ray j Shark, recreated,
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 3: Silka Daniels, Jenny Rose, Jacob Billingsley, What does scoop mean?
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 3: Alex Jardine, A krusty Crathon, Dylan Collopee WOLFEO five, Ben Sherman,
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 3: Chris Courtney Dale The King, Riley Cedar, Hayden, Nora Monico,
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 3: Adam Goff Gough nailed it, Sherry Hair, Jesse Miller, Livy Grace,
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 3: Kevin Shribe, Terry Tay, Acryla Curve, Linus huckasan any Bitty
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 3: Chicken Farmer, Sam jag and kylie K Matthews, Zachary W. Chilifood,
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 3: John Caravatas nailed it, Fish bum Fish, J W. Reynolds again,
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 3: Michael F. Foxy Sally and Ty Evans.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: We have a new third di as well that we
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: forgot to mention. Uh, Mommy Dumott.
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 2: All right, welcome Mommy.
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 3: Historically accurate.
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 2: There's also Ice Blue Scoop, Brian Layman Scoop, Brady Andrea
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 2: Anderson Scoop, Lindsay Frozen Cusser, laur else Roth, Cy, Shaunagan Scoopy, Scoopy,
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 2: Just Jess Okie scoop dank Butda Brooks Lyle, Adam Rich
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 2: Lovely Spark, Mister V Jim and Manu Adam Warren, the
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 2: offices of Counselor and Counselor, Manuel Cavassos, Chick Fillatio, God,
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 2: I love that, okay, Chad mag Oh, Mommy's on there
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 2: and RT nice.
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 3: And thanking for the last time? Are they the dark
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 3: Lord himself?
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 1: Jim had to put him down, just like Grandpa.
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 3: And of course our Therap partners, the benevolent, revered, generous
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 3: and flagrantly pro therapy diehards who love you all so
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 3: much they give till it hurts, Dirty b and Pickett,
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 3: and we want to especially think our boss is the
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 3: mysterious and shrouded Illuminati. Members of the fan Club, the
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 3: Therap producers, thank you, Jake Schneider, Myra, Robert Brownie Junior, Mint,
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 3: Smitty Scoop, Hey build our March Madness thing, Smitty, Jody Schneider,
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 3: Kayla Landsberry, Malia Leon Cassab Mason Miller, Richard fucking' Macy,
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 3: Carolyn Albert, Kevin Chamberlin, Tess Miller, Sammy Scoop, Ben Stanley,
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 3: Slap in your face, Sarah Smith, Adam Hathaway, Builer T,
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 3: Mike Helm Paris, Darren Cunningham, Lib Team Monaco, Thunder Cougar Falcon,
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 3: Scoop Hey O, Oscar Swan, rose A, sunny Boy, Slippe Kaye, Motherfucker,
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 3: Sandra mcwoffle, Dan Martin, Henna, Marie Andrew Langmead, Emma Kaine,
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 3: Alina Cody, The Loring Guy, Sam Cone and Brady Malaychack.
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 1: And if you like to hear this episode, I'm cut
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 1: in unedited and wow, wouldn't you and enjoy our spontaneous
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: side projects. Go to patreon dot com slash therapy and
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 1: thank you for supporting mental health.
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 3: That's all the time we got for this week's session.
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 3: I want to think our Landlord's Matt and Mattingley's ice
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 3: Cream Social podcast. And thanks to those of you who
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 3: contributed to our show today. We really appreciate it. But
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 3: remember pod therapy isn't something to keep all of yourself.
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 3: Share the episode of the world, tag us on the
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 3: socials when you do It's have pot therapy guys on Instagram,
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 3: threads and Twitter and blue sky at slash pod Therapy
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 3: on Facebook. And don't forget about all the extra goodies
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 3: at Patreon dot com, slash therapy.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: Do you want to sort a question of the show.
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: You definitely should. We're out pously to nuts or emails
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 1: at pot therapy guys at gmail dot com, or by
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: clicking the link in the episode to be taken to
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 1: our anonymous Google forum. I'm Nick Canjaman, I'm Colonel Jim.
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: Thanks and we'll see you for her appointments. Silly gooth certified.
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 2: No, our Mama Duck hasn't come back yet this year,
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 2: so I feel like she's not gonna be. That's really.
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 1: On a related out, Jim had duck for dinner.
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 3: Related note, I bought you this stuffed duck.
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 2: Here's a female from your yard.
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, goodbye, everybody,