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Who ya loyal 2 · The Volume Shift

• Deion: Welcome back to the Volume Shift, where we're bridging the gaps between cultures, religions, race, genders, etc. I'm Buck Doctors, the Doctor Without the Doctrine. What up though? Obviously we don't got my other half, so you know. I'm here, you know, to hold it down for the squadrant. And I had to, you know, definitely keep keep keep keep it coming for your, you know what I'm saying? No funny business or whatever, you know, if that sounded crazy or not, but you know what I mean? How y'all living? How y'all feeling, man? You know what I'm saying? Hope all is well with you and yours. You know what I mean? I'm coolin', I'm kicking it, you know what I'm saying. Living every day, discovering, you know what I'm saying, new things about myself. You know what I mean? You know me, like I find value in, you know, just making it about me. You know what I'm saying? Like. I gotta think, like, everybody in this world, you know what I mean, is all about the individual. You as the individual, you know what I'm saying? No matter, you know, the people that be sent to your life or in your life, and mind you, like, it's happening for you as an individual, and it's happening for those other individuals. But it's all it's not. Together. You know what I'm saying? Like they might be doing stuff to you in your life, but it's for they life. You know what I'm saying? But you know, we got this thing of like blaming each other and all of that, like, you know what I'm saying? So that tells me that a lot of people don't dig that this thing is for the individual, you know I'm saying? And when you realize that, man, I think you know, the key to everything gonna get unlocked. You feel what I'm saying? At least to me, you know what I'm saying? Cause I be at peace. You know what I'm saying? I don't really deal with a lot of things that everybody be dealing with. You feel me? And I think that's because the way I carry myself and the way I look at things, you know what I'm saying? And just because like, you know, one thing is for one person don't mean like it knocks anything else for other people. You feel me? Like I felt that, you know what I'm saying? I felt like as soon as I said it, you felt like, damn, like he separated. Like I am separating myself, but it's like I'm not really separating myself because like it's already separate. You know what I'm saying? Like my individual life and how I am and the way it don't got nothing to real really do with yours unless the story aligns somewhere, you get what I'm saying? But not like Like what I do and say gonna affect anything that you do unless it it it crosses like that. You feel me? But most times it don't cross. People make it cross and they make everything personal, like you know what I'm saying? Like that's what I'm saying. That feeling you just had was like personal, you feel me? Like, cause why me talking gonna make you feel a type of way unless you taking it personal, you feel me? And that's what I be, I don't take things personal like that people be saying, you know what I'm saying? Like You know, your man get a bunch of money, it's like you get excited, you get like, he gonna break me off, you gotta and then he don't, it's like you be sad. You know what I'm saying? And that's because you put your mind to to that them thoughts and thought that and that wasn't really reality and their reality struck and then you was, you know. You felt that type of way, you feel me? And that's what that type should be. And it'd be like, No, bro. When your money comes, it'll be for you. You know what I'm saying? If your money comes, your money might not come. You feel me? These things we gotta accept, like every individual on this earth ain't gonna do a lot of stuff. And it's crazy cause the stuff you probably was supposed to do, you ain't doing it cause you blinded by comparison. And wanting where other people got going. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, you're not gonna get yours. And I'm only knowing, like, you know, in hindsight, man. I wasted a lot of years, like, in these different emotions and feelings and holding on to things, you get what I'm saying? I just come to realize like, wow, like all this time. You get what I'm saying? Like all this time like not really living because I'm holding on to these sayings and traditions and the way we was brought up and our environment and all of these different things, man. And my you versus you is just beating me up. Just beating me up, like damn. You feel me? Then I came across some real shit. I'm like, I came across some real shit the other day. Well probably some time back now, but like it was saying like the devil gonna take the things away from you that like you need to use the most or is your value or whatever. Like, you know what I mean? And for me, It was my voice. I'm like, damn. And I felt it, I felt it throughout my whole life. You know what I mean? When I speak about certain things or I speak to people, you know what I mean? I remember being in a cell like with Selly's people I just met, you feel me? And we have nothing but time to talk and and build or whatever like that. You know what I'm saying? And thankfully, like our minds aligned. You feel me that we was able to even talk. You gotta have mature airs and you gotta be at you know I mean, like all kinds of things need to align just so you can communicate with people. You feel me? Cause if you're not in the right space, you're not gonna be able to communicate appropriately, you know what I'm saying? And I remember my sullies, man, they used telling me like all kinds of stuff. You feel me? Like And it was just because I was being transparent with them. Like I'm giving them my whole still. You know what I mean? Like when they come up on something and they talking about it like it's thorough or, you what I mean, is is the thing to do and all that. I'm like, nah, bro. You feel me? Like, let's look at it in a different perspective. You get what I'm saying? Let's start looking at, then I give them a different perspective on it. And I don't know, I ain't special or nothing. It's just the stuff that come through me, you feel me? Like so I'm just giving it to real, like I don't know so it's flowing, like, you feel me? My problem always came like when I had to like communicate with like people that was close to me and I have a feeling about and knowing them or like understanding the training that we give each other. Like I held back from like saying a lot of stuff to people that's close to me 'cause I'm like I don't wanna hurt their feelings or stuff like that. But when you don't know nobody, it's like I don't care. You know what I mean? I'm just giving it up. You feel me? Like I don't got them thoughts that is gonna stop me from, you know, expressing any and everything that that come to my mind. You feel me? But when when it's personal people, it's like, yeah, them thoughts be there and I be people pleasing and you know what I'm saying? And I don't know if it's good or bad or whether I should or shouldn't be, you feel me? I just know that that's what it is. You get what I'm saying? You know, if it is a issue, issue or I find it to be a issue, then I'll deal with it accordingly, you know I mean? But yeah, like I was saying though, my voice, you know what I mean, and the fact that I even like got into smoking cigarettes and weed and all of these things that that would fuck with my lungs, that would stop me from having a voice. You know what I mean? Like Even my shit sounding raspy right now is like probably a contribute to those things, you know what I mean? So when I heard them say like, damn, the devil take a wheel like, I'm like, damn. Cause musically, artistically, like, you know, I was born with this stuff. I just know like how to draw. I just look at something and then, you know what I mean? I can you know, duplicate it. You know what I'm saying? And draw the same exact thing, like, and then I got into painting and all of that. So it was like, and then music, it was just like, It come to me like I don't even write unless like it come to me like I feel the need to write, you know what I'm saying? And then I just let that guide me. You feel what I'm saying? Like and next thing you know, like I got you know a couple couple couple songs and shit or a couple verses, you know what I mean? Like that's I can't even explain them. Man, this shit is like I start with a thought and then just just lead like, you what I'm saying? And you know, to understand that, man, it's it's just a beautiful thing. You feel what I'm saying? So that's what got me on my journey though. I'm like, nah, I gotta take my voice back and get my voice back. You know what I mean? I I've really been like I've been quiet my whole life, but like I've really been quiet the last several years, you know what I'm saying? Whereas though I don't even be speaking. at all like I don't approach women, I don't really got a lot of homies and shit like that. So I just been like tucked away in a crib, you feel what I'm saying? Not even living like and folks that do know me or know of me like they know my energy used to be like I for the party type shit. You feel me? Like And so, you know, with it with a with a last glimpse of hope, you feel me, like I keep doing music and I keep doing podcasts so that I can maintain and keep my voice, you feel me, at least make me feel like like I still got it, you know what I'm saying? And to be able to jump on this jaw and you know what I mean, like get y'all my my whole spell is like That's the motivation, you know what I'm saying? That's the inspiration to be like, I need to clear this drawn up so I can be heard. That, you know what I mean? I don't let that win, that entity win by taking my voice away and being silent, you know what I'm saying? And silenced. You know what I'm saying? Like, and folk always like, bro, you too silent, man. You need to. But I be like, man, I don't because at the same time, like I know opening my mouth sometimes at at at at times or every time. It just like leave me feeling a type of way thereafter. Cause then I'm just be thinking about like, damn, should I have said that? You get what I'm saying? And I'm that type dude, you feel me? Like, I can't get away from it, no matter, you know what I mean, how much I try and everything, like I'm just that type of dude, you feel me? Like, if I still, if I do something criminal like. I got a guilty conscience, like I'd be like, man, like I be mad as shit too. Like why the fuck I can't just grow these shit and not feel the type of way or like do this criminal act, you know what I mean? I know a lot of motherfuckers, they just do they thing and keep it moving. I don't know if they like hiding away they guilty, like, you know what I'm saying? They doing drugs to the to cover it up or like, you know what I mean? of smother those thoughts and all that, you know what I'm saying? I'm like, I don't know how people just rolling around living just continuously after you do a wrong. I'm like, dang, that should I be jealous as shit. You know what I'm saying? But at the same time, I'm like I don't need that shit anyway, you feel me? Like, ain't no need to be jealous cause I really don't even wanna be that way. You get what I'm saying? Like if took something or it was cause in my mind I thought I needed it and it was no other way and I had to have it, you feel me? Cause you know, poverty a motherfucker and you know what I'm saying, going without food or whatever the case is, like. It was like a no go, so I had to hustle, do all kinds of shit, you know what I'm saying? But deep down that never was me for real, you feel me? Like I liked to play football. I got introduced to football, basketball, shit like that. I was good, you know what I mean? But At the same time them thoughts overwhelm and we ain't have a lot of shit, so I definitely, you know, had to go out and and do some shit to get it. And being young, you don't got a lot of options, especially to get the type of money you need, so you really gotta do something illegal to to get that type of money, you know what I mean? But You know, that's neither here or there, man, but these are the type of things, you know what I mean, that we we we gotta live with and that we live through if if if if if we live through it, you know what I mean? 'Cause a lot of people join took them a whole nother way and they ain't even get a chance to like feel a grief or gr guilt. None of that, you know what I'm saying? So you know. It's a crazy job but You know, we usually do the the segment about the vol the volume check, you know what I'm saying? And you know the volume check is you know, checking in on like what's the loudest thing going on in your life, man, or your community or the world. You know what I mean? That's you know I guess the thing that's like been as loud of lately for me, you know what I'm saying, has been like The loyalty. You know what I'm saying? Loyalty in relations to like friendships and relationships and All these different chips chips, I mean, excuse me. You know what I mean? Like and as I started, you know, I think every this life is about the individual. So I guess if two individuals align with each other then that type of relationship can can happen and it could be long lasting. You know what I mean? But I'm not real sure, especially from the examples and experiments and things we experience in, you know what I'm saying? Like you always see relationships kind of up and down or down last long, or the ones that do, they tell you is it's a fight and all these different things and it's like I don't know, man. I guess, you know, and they got sayings like, you know, anything worth having is worth fighting for and all but it'd be like, I don't know how we supposed to be fighting. Like, I don't I don't wanna fight like to have something like that. You feel what I'm saying? Like and that's why I was real hesitant on loyalty, cause it's like, man. I don't know if I wanna fight that hard anymore, you know what I mean, about like being loyal to to people. And from from the experience, like I said, with the relationships and everything, it's the same thing with friendships. You know, people big on these loyalty things, but at the same time it's like you see so much disloyalty. like what y'all hope hanging on hope or something? Like if we see that everybody ain't loyal to this loyalty thing, you feel me then? Why you so hell bent on it? I'm like, I'm not hell bent on that shit. Like, you feel me? Like, we be friends, we be friends. I'll be loyal, you know what I'm saying? And I won't do nothing wrong just because I won't do nothing wrong. It don't really have anything to do with like me being loyal to a single person. It's more like Me being loyal to me. Me being loyal about my morals, principles, values, and stuff like that. You feel what I'm saying? Like, I'd rather have a woman that's loyal to her morals, principles, values, and the things she stand by versus to be loyal to me. You know what I mean? Because if she loyal to those things, I know she ain't gonna break Because they don't have a p a thing that you can break it but with. You get what I'm saying? Her dis loyalty to those things is just gonna affect her, her life. You know what I'm saying? her disloyalty to me is gonna affect everything, all both of us. You get what I'm saying? So that's why I'm like, I'd rather the loyalty to the morals, principles, values, and things you stand on, cause I know you're gonna upkeep for that, cause that's supposed to be in you. You know what I mean? And these things that you find value in that you stand on as a human, as a person, you know what I mean? Like, if I say I'm not a cheater, it's not like because of the girl. It's cause I'm just not a cheater in life. Like, I I don't subscribe to needing to do that or feel that. You get what I'm saying? If I don't wanna be with a person, I'm just gonna not be with the person. There's no need to cheat and all of that. And I know people say, you know, shit happen and this and that and you can't help it and I ain't beat for all that, like you know what I'm saying? I'm just like, no. If you wanna do it, you'll do it. Like people always say, if you really wanna do something, you'll do it. You know what I mean? So at the time of the crime, I know all of those thoughts is in your mind. And you still go forward with it. So it's like, it be hard to, you know what I'm saying? And I speak my truth. I'm like, man, I I committed the crime, bro. I knew when I was doing it that thoughts was like way in and anything, but I said, fuck them thoughts. I'm gonna do this. And and I go through with it. And then when approached about it, it's like, yeah, against the courts and all that. I'll probably lie, but like to anybody else, I'm not lying. I'm that's what I did, yeah. You know, I stand on that. You feel what I'm saying? And because of that transparency, because of that loyalty to self is like I can't see myself like lying, especially as a grown man, like I don't I don't even wanna do nothing. if I gotta end up lying or something. So I don't do shit if I know I gotta lie about it. It's like you know I mean and like I said, just cause I'm speaking this shit don't mean, you know, I knock y'all for doing it or whatever. It could be all kinds of shit going on. You can't help it. Or like those thoughts is real overwhelming or you just don't know. You ain't realize it yet. You ain't have enough hurt yet. You know what I'm saying? You don't understand that everything in this life is about the individual. You get what I'm saying? So we be thinking we gonna slime somebody else out, but that don't really be the case. Cause you gotta think about it. To slime somebody else out, you gotta do something. To do it. So what kind of person do that make you? You feel what I'm saying? Like, and you could have felt the type of way about what the person did. So now you try and get them back. But if you use the same stuff to get them back, that don't make that make you the same. And that's why I'm saying, like, for me to go at somebody else and make it the same. I feel crazy because I feel like I'm battling myself. Like I'm about to go at myself. I'm about to you know what I'm saying? Punch on this person or whatever, like but that's making me look bad and make me feel bad at the end of the day. So I had to find ways to be like, nah, this ain't about you. It's about me. And how can I fix whatever it is in me so that I don't feel That type of way about somebody else outward. You know what I'm saying? Like, you can do whatever you want. You know what I mean? And it used to be like, long as you don't touch me, long as you don't disrespect. But I don't even subscribe to those things no more. Like, you can do whatever you want. You know what I'm saying? That don't mean, you know. It's gonna be tolerated or it don't come with consequences and stuff like that. You feel what I'm saying? Because you put your hands on somebody, it's gonna be consequences. You feel what I'm saying? So yeah, you can do whatever you want. You can say whatever you want for sure. Do it. I'm gonna do the same thing. Mine's just ain't gonna come with that type of consequence because I don't feel a need to do anything that will cause a comp you know a consequence. You feel me? Especially at my age. I'm like I my mind I got the time I'm trying use, man, I'm trying to figure shit out. I don't got time to add something else to my shit to make it more cloudy, you know what I'm saying? Or fuzzy, my fault. You know what I mean? But like I said. This blind loyalty like people be having for one another is like bam. And I don't like I say, I don't knock you, man. You know, you are where you are in life, and maybe I'm just bringing it up so you can have a different, you know, look on it. You know what I'm saying? And if that switches the volume for you, then you know, good, man. You feel me? Especially, you know, if it could be beneficial to you. You know what I'm saying? Cause I done seen so many people like with this loyalty stuff, you know what I'm saying? And they be super loyal to a person and you just see like the other person just ain't that it ain't the same for them. You feel me? They more loyal to themselves. You get what I'm saying? And I feel like that loy that blind loyalty like that is like some slave and master shit. Like, you know what I mean? Like, slaves was like loyal to the master, like master, we sick. Like, we ain't going outside today. Like, master, we got trouble. master. You know what I mean? Like. Everything was geared towards that. You like, how that even makes sense to what you're talking about with loyalty. It's like, yeah. People just be following people, whether they right or wrong. I'm riding with my man right or wrong. I'm like. Bro, I ain't riding with nobody that's wrong. Like, you feel me? Like, that's stupid. Especially when we all know right or wrong and you can choose. So if you my man right back, right? Just like I'm your man and you want me to be loyal to you on the right or wrong, then reverse that, right? And say, like, damn, you would dump me in our friendship. If I tell you pause on on whatever you got going that I'm not standing with you if you're wrong. You feel me? But you ain't looking at it the same way, like. You know what I'm saying? So I don't really get that like that. Like if you my man like like like how you want me to be your man, you don't I'm your man cause you want this, you need me to do whatever it is you need to do. Let's keep it clean, you feel me? Let's keep it straight up. And I'll rather straight up, bruh. I need you for this. Cause I need to do this. Cool. Don't start throwing no loyalty and bro you supposed to ride for me no matter what Nah you try and backdoor the situation no keep it decent up front make let me make my decision on real Not on no fabricated type shit, you know what I'm saying? Like I don't people like to throw that loyalty shit around like when it's beneficial to them. You know what I'm saying? Y'all know the du. All y'all gotta do is pause and and look at your life and look at who everybody around you. You feel me? Who the loudest that always talks about loyalty and all that. Probably the one that's not loyal. You what I'm saying? And try throw it at you, try to convince you like you doing the wrong of it, like. But he don't uphold it himself, like no. You feel me? That's the same as our government and all that, like they made these laws and shit like that. And we loyal to the laws, but they not loyal to the laws. You know what I'm saying? Nah, think about it, you feel me? Like, who gas you to be like super loyal like that? So when they benefit them. But all of a sudden, like it's on you, the definition change. and beat me in the head with the bullshit stick, you hear me like I ain't with it, you know what I'm saying? But I'm loyal to myself. You know what I mean? So if I say that I'ma do something, I'm gonna do it. That's the only one I can really trust to, you know what I mean? To hold it down. If I tell you, my man, I'm coming to the show, I'm coming to the show. Regardless of anything that happens or transpires that try to keep me away from I'm coming to the show. If not, I'm gonna communicate that with you. You feel what I'm saying? I'm your man. I'm loyal to friendship. I'm loyal to relationship. I'm not loyal to individual persons. You get what I'm saying? Because of my principles, morals, and values and things that I stand on. You get me? So if I get committed to a woman, I'm committed to a woman. And not because of who she is. It ain't gonna change with the woman. My it's gonna stay the same. No woman gonna tell you I cheated or had any is 'cause I just it's just not what I do. You feel me? That's loyalty to self. And for me I feel like that's honorable. And when you get tangled and caught up in all of that for other people's stuff and you don't got that solid foundation for yourself, then yeah, you gonna be in all of this cheating conversation and disloyalty conversation. And you gonna be in all of them conversations cause Your definition of it was given to you by somebody of I'm defining it for myself, what I think it is. You get what I'm saying? Like, so. My loyalty to the homies is cause I value friendship. You know what I'm saying? I was loyal to the streets and shit. A lot of niggas be loyal to the streets and then they find out like ain't no loyalty back. You know what I mean? Like, ain't no loyalty back. And all that time you aze giving it like that, it don't come back to you, not the same way. Streets loyal you to the streets. You know what I'm saying? Dog gonna be a dog, rabbit gonna be a rabbit, you feel me? A human, we all everything. We a dog, cat, human, we everything. You feel me? Let us tell it. You feel what I'm saying? Like And so I'd be like, damn, when I see like people O D on being loyal to one, I'm like, damn, you done seen time at the time that this loyalty thing is like damaging and hurting you, but you still won't let it go. Like And I'm talking about in the way that you know, that it is out here. Not the way I'm speaking on it. 'Cause I don't even encounter those type of disloyals like you know I mean like I can't t say tell you that you disloyal to me. just because of some some street values or whatever like You know what mean? So I wouldn't even expect that from you. So therefore, if I don't got no expectation, I don't got no sorrow that come with it. You know what I'm saying? No, I I I expect you to be loyal to you. And you should expect me to be loyal to me. You get what I'm saying? Cause those things can't really cross. If you do something That's not loyal for you is like, but it's loyal to me. How you gonna explain that to your people? No, I was riding for buck. He was riding for buck. Priority. Prioritize. You gonna be more loyal to the streets than your your family, your mom? What she tell you to do? You ignore that? But we listening to the homies and all to what's going on outside? And you wonder like why the turnaround is the turnaround? I couldn't think nothing about my life when I was in that like that. I'm thinking it's the stuff in front of me. I'm getting bugged out like spazzing. Y'all niggas ain't whole time I was all out of place. Cause the fuck am I doing? Being loyal to this type shit. You know what I'm saying? I tell ya where my mind be at, like I'm at McDonald's and I'm bugging out cause they taking all along, you know what I'm saying? I'm looking at shit and I'm like, yo man, you just standing there, he doing this and that. Like somebody could just come sir. I'm getting mad. I'm like I get mad about I shouldn't even be eating this bullshit. You get what I'm saying? So I had to realize like I'm I got all this energy and all of this towards all of this because I'm in this place that I shouldn't even be in. You know what mean? And that's how I think about it. I'm like, it ain't even about the people behind the counter and how slow they don't. It's me and my mind and my thoughts. That's why I'm saying everything about the individual, you know what I'm saying? Like, why am I encountering with this about this? And it's not even worth nothing for real. If I really thought about it. Or if somebody came to me with this type of story that I was in, like, man, that's stupid. You know what I'm saying? Anytime you hear something back that you involved in and it sounds stupid to you, you gotta really take heed to that, like, Under any s other circumstances I would not be in this type of s predicament. How did I even get here? Like, you feel me? Like how did I even get here? You gotta think about it. We once was all kids growing up, evolving. Who your trainers, who your programmers, who taught you these things. And then you we just accepted them and went with them. We ain't trying to redefined them, understand the definition of them, none of that. You just knew, like the way we do it in the hood, define stuff, is like. All right, everybody know what the join is because in a complete sentence you can kind of figure it out like if you listen. You get what I'm saying? Like, yo, the joint over there. You know what I'm saying? You like the joint over there. So if you look over there, you're like, all right, you can put it together. You know what I'm saying? And so that's how a lot of people start defining stuff. So the stuff we grew up on, we ain't like challenge it. We just accepted it. Without the full definition or anything. You get what I'm saying? So Loyalty and day ones and A ones, you know, they got all these good old names for it and all that type stuff. And when you do a deep dive look into it, it's like that ain't what loyalty is. You like, bro. Y'all ain't loyal. You feel me? And most people that's tr screaming like, I'm real, this and I'm like, yo, if you gotta project that you real or you loyal or you this. To me, you not in the act of doing what you saying you doing. Cause you like promoting. You feel me? Like you promoting the words and shit. But like if people took a deep dive, they be like, bro, you ain't you loyal to yourself, that's it. You know what I'm saying? And you know, a lot of folks get in trouble, man. A lot of trouble happened because whatever y'all y'all they gave you the definition of loyalty to be, you know what I mean? Like and it never was that. It was like cat, you know what I mean? We was manipulated into like That type of thing. You know what I'm saying? So now you got that attitude. They love when you got that attitude. Cause they know they can manipulate you even more, like get you to do things that you know they wouldn't even do themselves. You know what I'm saying? That's why I'm saying, like, the fact that we like ride out on being real is the same fact that motherfuckers can manipulate you to do whatever they want you to do. yeah, he real? Or he could be a good soldier then. You know what I'm saying? Like, all I gotta do is tell him. Yeah, be listen, be loyal to the squad, we got you. You know what I'm saying? You a real one, right? Like. Hey, are you a real one? Do this real shit for us then. We need them real nigga shit, right? We need some real nigga shit done. This nigga over here been stealing from the squad, just make up some shit. You get what I'm saying? And you so real you don't even question it and you don't And you be sitting in the joint like Niggas lied to me cause like now you angry at them, you wanna be real and fight them and wanna kill them now. And now you blaming them instead of blaming yourself for falling for it. Or at least at this point when you realize that you fell for it, now everything gotta be put back into you. Like, no, I ain't seeking revenge or nothing. Like, I'm just gonna better myself to be able to stand on principles, morals, values, and things that I stand on. And live like that, you feel me? And that's gonna crush them, cause where they think that they manipulated you and fucked you over, you came back strong. You feel me? And then not even paying them no mind. Like I ain't even got no rap for y'all. Y'all know what y'all did. We ain't even got debate or battle about it. Y'all know what y'all did. You feel me? And if you seek revenge, then you stuck in that. You feel me? They lit a match. They struck something into your life. Now you gotta deal with it. You like off track now. You know what I'm saying? Now you you seeking revenge for that. And that wasn't even in your life. But the fact that they put it in there and then you accepted it and now you going back and forth, you over there, man. But if you put it back in your life, put it back into you, put the blame all on you, but yeah, them niggas them niggas manipulated me, they got me, they bamboozled me. But it won't happen again. You know what I'm saying? And you be loyal to yourself, bro. And that's the only thing, because that's the same thing that they doing. And motherfuckers that try to tell you otherwise, they just try and misplace you, you know what I'm saying? Take you off of that what you stand on. Because why else is you saying that? Like, I'm like, no, I'm standing on this. I'm not doing all that. I'm not doing what y'all doing. I'm saying if we're gonna be friends, we can be friends. Cool. We can hang out, do such and such. When it comes to certain things, nah. It's the cutoff. And that way you start weeding people out too, you know what I mean? Like, they don't know not to call you no more. no. They can say what they want. Buck be on that bullshit, so I ain't called. Cool. Thank you for accepting me. And allow him respecting me, you know what I mean? Like, cause yeah, I'm not trying to get caught up in that dumbass shit. Why would I scream free you and I could free you from the rook? Why would I scream free you if we got a chance to be free and I don't say nothing then? But I'ma wait and say something. Nah, that's what I'm saying. I'm loyal to friendship, not loyal to individual people. Like, cause why would where would that even transpire as being real? To me, that's real dumb. And yeah, I was in it. And I did it. So now on the other side in hindsight, I could say these things, you feel me? Like, because I done seen what that looked like. And I'm like, nah, I don't like that. You know what I mean? Like I used to cutting, I used to didn't like green beans just because I ain't really have a reason. I never even tasted them. You feel me? But once I tasted them, then I can say like, no, I really don't like them, John. Or they not my my cup of tea. They don't sit right. Like apples don't sit right in my stomach or something. It just I mean, but I could do applesauce and all the the other type of apple stuff. But a straight apple was like, nah. And I know that 'cause every time I did it, I feel it. You feel me? So when I'm speaking about this loyalty thing, it's cause I did it. Like I I served it to the max and then realize, no. I got to redefine what that means 'cause Just utilizing y'all definition is not the way. You know what I'm saying? And a lot of us be loyal to those definitions. Like stuff we ain't give. That's why I be like, and people be looking at me crazy, but I don't like marriage, all these things, I didn't have an input on. And I don't really like to say it because I don't want to influence other people. But it's like, man, I don't, man. Lot of this stuff was here before me. I don't engage in it. I didn't have nothing to do with like, you know, making it happen or anything. So I'm like, no, I'm cool. Especially because of what we seen. So y'all say we supposed to get married. Y'all fuck that up. All this disloyalty, all this cheating, all this. He gotta have the money and Women gotta do this and this gender and that gender gotta do this. It fucked it up for me. I don't wanna partake in all of that. That's too much. That's like, yo, you gotta go to school for that shit. I don't wanna be a part of nothing that deep. Like, you gotta do what? No, if I can't be me, I don't I'm cool. You know what I'm saying? And y'all really what I y'all really don't wanna hear what I I really am saying, cause too many motherfuckers start taking away my snacks and my food, everything. Like, you feel me to have the whole like motherfucker tell you you gotta be this loyal, like you can't eat until the other person eat. They could be a dickhead at the time and slow drag eating. They don't know you got starving. But you being loyal to that saying and you sitting there not eating. I can't, man. Fuck you. I'm not waiting to eat. All this goofy ass shit, man. Women and men be arguing about shit. I just be like, what? You ain't wait till I got home to eat. All right. I get it in a certain stance, but like cut it the fuck out. You should not be this angry about that. Like that should not make you that angry. I don't something else going on has to be. Because why is you that angry? Like, cause I ate like all right, we can't rewind it and go back. So it's like just eat. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, why you gotta That's what I'm saying. Just be too move, man. Like we done do dates. Women didn't wanna like hold up, y'all. Women didn't wanna like, you know, eat until the other person sat down and I'm like, yo, your food gonna get cold. I I'll blow you to mind. Like what? You know what I'm saying? So you know just think about it. You know what I'm saying? And I'm not I'm saying this to change the volume, to shift the volume, but it's like you can do whatever you want, but it's like, man, think about the other side of that, you feel me? And you know what that side look like 'cause you experiencing it and You know all that come with it. You know what I mean? Like all the stressful times. You know what I'm saying? And I'm saying it like, all right, me being loyal to me. When my kids' mom cheated on me, I ain't feel a type of way. I'm lying. I felt a type of way, but like it wasn't hell bent. Like I wasn't stuck on like. my god, you feel me? Or made it a woe-me because I didn't take it personal. That's her problem. You take it personal, it becomes your problem. Now you worrying about your dick and whether you please in her or not. And you know what I'm saying? What you do wrong. All these things, it's like no. But because I'm a loyal person to myself and you know I got honor and and and my principles, values, morals, and the things I say in wrong, like I ain't become no cheater. I just became free. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, what? Bet money, like, all right, cool. Cause like I said, I'm locked in. I'm locked in. I'm committed. But as soon as that button get turned off and I realize, well I'm free, I'm good, like I'm out. Turn up. Now motherfucker chasing me like I didn't do cheating. You know what I'm saying? Like Chasing me like I done did the cheating. Or now you realizing like, my God, I fucked this up. I can't do nothing about that at this point. Like we only get one chance for real when it comes to like human to human shit. You feel me? We only got one life to live. You can't keep playing with this, John. Especially around good people. You got good people and you keep spinning the block because you think it's easy and you think you getting away with it. Yeah, you getting away with it at the time of the crime, but When that bitch spin back around, whatever you did is doubled. You're gonna be super sorty every time, you get me? That's why I won't be super hype about too much. Like, all right, you did a disloyalty thing. That's gonna come back to you, man. Not me. You feel me? So my man crossed me, cool. You just showed me that you wasn't my man. Or you got a problem that you need to take care of, you feel me? You ain't honorable cause you ain't honorable for you. Not because you ain't honorable to me. It on me, it's just showing you that's that that's the case. You get what I'm saying? So me, I don't feel no type of way about it. I move on and I can get another more homies. You know what I mean? Who might do the same thing or they might be fitted for for real friendship. You know what I'm saying? But I'm not gonna lay my hat on like falling out. my god, did you dead what bro? You wasn't loyal to me. You you was disrespectful, you was That's too much, that's too much energy like You know what I'm saying? If this if you doing that to me just made you realize you a dirtbag. Appreciate you, bro. I'd rather see it and then know it and then move on from it than you know what mean? The continuing blind to you know. You did your part. Yeah what I'm saying, like and so you know that's what it is though, bro. Gotta get out of these thinkings about all of this stuff. You gotta think that it's all backwards, bro. So the way that we look at loyalty is like it's backwards. You know what I'm saying? Cause niggas really be loyal to themselves. They don't be And that's that's like in the in the hood we use it like a manipulation tool, like you gonna be loyal to me. Men so then the women, you gonna be loyal to me. They stay out cheating and doing them and drop and blame it on like being a man, like I'm just a man, I love women, like nah, you just caught up and don't got a stance on your stance, bro. I'm just keeping it G, you feel me? Like 'Cause if you still got any inkling of like Being free and single, be free and single. I think that's nutty as shit for you to hold on to a woman, be doing her dirty, and you know like, yeah, you probably do love her, but it's like You you you lust her or something 'cause that's different. Like if you loved that loved her, you wouldn't do what you was doing. You know what I'm saying? It's like you lust her, it's like you being selfish, like, yeah, I want you to fuck me by myself, but I wanna fuck all the other bitches like nah bro, that's not decent. Let that woman be free and you be free. And then you Do you as a single man? Don't get in a relationship, hold a spot and then now you jerk and wreck. Now nobody else can play cause you wanna be playing with this shit. It ain't thorough, man. That's jerking wreck, bro. Niggas be out here jerking wreck. Women too, now. Y'all holding on the niggas that that Good men get done by what's it called, pride things attract, I don't know. But like they end up with those guys and then those women end up not really wanting to be with them or over overly like taking advantage of them, you feel me? And then that good guy becomes like, you know, hurt or whatever from it. You know what I'm saying? When you could have just been honorable and let that good man go with a good woman and let them beat him. You feel me? But your selfishness to wanting to just do whatever you wanted to do fucked it up for a lot of multiples of people, man. You feel what I'm saying? Like Women that do wrong and all that don't get with men that do wrong and then they can end up doing each other wrong. How that don't happen? Yeah, I'm saying like criminals don't you ain't getting with other master criminals and going at it and then y'all all f on your drone and whatever happens happens. No, like a lot of y'all criminals is involving regular ass people that don't get in the criminal shit. I don't find that to be thorough. Like to me you wanna rob somebody, rob a dula. Rob somebody that's in with you and You know what I mean? I for I for real. You get what I'm saying? Like, don't pull no gado on somebody that wanna fight you. Fight them back. You know what I'm saying? They pull a gun, you pull a gun. That's I for bruh. That's fair. But don't think you're tough because you run down on some people that don't got guns and you got a gun. That don't make you tough. That don't make I just mean the odds is unfair. You know what I'm saying? That's the cops and whoever. Without the badge and all that. Like, who are you? What are you? It ain't fair. So it can't be real to me. When it's fair, then it's real to me. You mean? You got a joint, he got a joint. No, no, no. That's real. Who won't come out of it? We both got our hands. That's fair. You're saying? And that's what's real to me. You feel me? Don't think you tough cause you pull out a gun on somebody that don't got a gun. That ain't tough. That's a advantage. You get what I'm saying? So like I say, we gotta look at all these words that people utilize and you know I'm saying and start redefining what they really mean, especially to you. What do they mean to you? What loyalty mean to you? And as you upholding it to that. If so, when other people do things that's disloyal, you don't change your loyalty. You know what mean? Don't utilize that theirs to become yours. Cause then if you shit talking, you just did the same thing that they did. You know what I'm saying? A lot of niggas probably got cheated on and then became the cheater. Who loses in that? Just something to think about, you know what I'm saying? If y'all found, you know, value in this episode, love what you was hearing, you wish you could have drove dove into the conversation. May your wishes be granted, right? In the comments. And you know, in the comments, I'll read you know what I'm saying? And and talk about on the next episode. You get what I'm saying? And that's that'd be your inclusion. I'm gonna find a way though, I'll probably do the phone thing and people can call in when we do live and we can have like real dialogue, you know what I'm saying? And so it don't feel as one sided, you know what I mean? But the comments is there for y'all to put y'all aside in, so y'all ain't just watching without having you know opportunity or whatever to to say something back. You get what I'm saying? So double tap, subscribe, comment, you know what I'm saying, and shift your volume until the next time, you know what I'm saying?